Hatemail

Hatemail...it's so much damn fun. So if you have a gripe, send us some. We'll rip it to shreads. We promise. The following is one sent to Becca about an e-mail list issue...it's hella hilarious. If people send hate mail, at least make it hateful! Or as amusing as this! All Bec can say is, "They're onto me."

Hi flame (haha you do not deserve to have your name capitalized!)

I don't know you, but I think I hate you becuse of the influence of my scanky whore friends. I would call you a scanky whore, but I don't think you're good enough for that title.

Don't try to find out who this is, your attempts will all be futile

We're coming for you and there's nothing you or anyone else can do about it. We are armed with sausage links, sporks, and politeness.

up now while you still have the chance. We have the building surrounded with our bitch fight dance squads, having to face them  is a fate worse than death.

so, please notice the Swat Team climbing in your window. We know your in on the "annoy the world" plan.

u will soon be sufficated with numerous doilies and forced to listen to Sarah give a long speech about why she likes doilies

We hope that after all this torture, you will realise what a scanky Theo wannabe you are, and  willgive in to our evilness.

If you still don't resign your position in the mailing list after this, we will be forced to make you deliver cheeseburgers  to the poor woodcarving children in hell

They won't like you much, but who cares-they're ungrateful little brats anyway

By now the Swat Team should have sprayed you with pepper spray and wrapped you in doilies.

They will inform you that three emails a day means ONLY THREE a day, you slut. Not more. Any one with more than one brain cell should be able to figure that out.  Apparently you're not one of those people.

Welcome to hell, you scanky  bitch.

~The Scanky Whore Bitch Slut Squad

Dear Red, FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK