| The Blooming of my Spirit, my personal story |
| I was born October 3, 1972, of the Butterfly Clan, the clan of the air. I was born in upstate New York..Being premature, I was born with a heart defect, I spent a lot of time in and out of the hospital for the first few years of my life.. During this time, my parents never knew whether I'd make it or not.. I remember going to the doctors, and they always wanted to listen to my heart & hook me up to machines.. It was so scary, I remember being cold too... At about the age of 5, something unexplainable happened to me. I remember my Mom taking me to the doctors, and I remember her raising her voice (which scared me) she was in disbelief. I was scheduled for Open Heart Surgery, but after yet another exam, they found that the hole in my heart had healed and was much smaller, they didn't need to operate.. A miracle, for sure! |
| I was raised as a Christian, but soon realized that this wasn't the path for me. I've always loved nature, and animals. Many times I was picked on because I would spend so much time outside and with the cows, or horses, instead of with people, mainly friends. I was convinced that the animals understood me, and I'd talk to them constantly. I was a dreamer as well, always having vivid dreams, and telling my Mother about them. Many times I amazed my Mother because my dreams sometimes would have a "meaning" to them. I feel things intensely. Although I still haven't really figured out how to deal with it, I find it hard to deal with sometimes. |
| Here's an example, my brother moved to N. Carolina in 1984, he called each week on a Wednesday.. until one week, the week of my 13th birthday, he called on a Monday. Nothing strange about that, right? After hanging up with my brother, I ran into my room, I had the most intense sadness overwhelm me, it was like I couldn't breath, and I just knew something was going to happen.. My Mom heard me crying, and came in to see what was wrong. I told her, something is going to happen, I can't stop crying, I have this really awful feeling, Mom. She said it was just because I missed him. Three days later, the day before my birthday, my Brother, only 19 years of age, passed on. He'd had an awful accident on the job.. Since then, I've had this "feeling" many times, and I've learned to trust it 100% because I know it is NEVER wrong.. |
| After that, I began to explore in things like Wicca, Paganism, Psychics, Spiritism, ect. I tried to read anything I could get my hands on. The first book being one about OBE's (Out Of Body Experiences).. I realized that I was indeed having them very frequently, and all the time, thought they were just 'vivid' dreams.. I wasn't able to explore too much into other religions, being I lived in the Country, things like that weren't in our small town, and so I gave up ~ figured I would just not have a religion. |
| Upon getting the internet, I loved it! All this information was right here at my fingertips. I began to read and learn many religions that were similar to what I believe. I was a crazed learner LOL! I went from one to the other, each time jumping to it saying/thinking "this is the one" until I learned more and realized it wasn't. I realized that what I was searching for, came from within, in my Spirit. That religion really isn't just rules ~ and following set "rules" its what your Spirit knows to be true, its what has been in you since birth. And that for me, is the native religion. I have followed my heart and spirit, and I am happy, peaceful, and I no longer feel that search for something anymore. My journey led me right back to my own Spirit, and what is in my heart. |
| Its like this ~ Spirituality teaches us all that only by searching your own heart and searching within can answers be found. |
| It also teaches us that the Great Spirit is within you, lives in you, & is everywhere - in every breathing thing. The Great Spirit is all that is, in the trees above us, the air we breath, the water that keeps our Mother Nature alive, the stones we walk upon, the light over all things. |
| Spirituality teaches us that growth comes from the inside out. Spirituality is not controlling, or set in stone, its like this "accept it if - it brings peace and feels right to you" "if it troubles you, let it go." I don't believe in the heaven - hell concept. I'm sorry, but, I don't believe there is this little evil guy running around trying to get people into trouble. I believe that we are meant to follow natural laws - nature's laws. If we live in harmony with the earth below us, the animals that surround us we are in a sense in our own 'heaven'. When we pass over to the spirit world, we are then keepers of the wisdom we gained during our life, and we go on to share and teach others in our family. If we go against the natural laws, and against Mother nature, then we will fail, we will suffer, and we will in a sense create our own 'hell'. I'm not saying that I don't believe in spirits, I do very much so! Not as the way the portray them on movies though! I have many spirits that surround me, love me, and teach me, and are with me every step of my life. If I learn to listen, as I have - I will do well during my walk around the wheel. I am now at peace within, with this peace within, came peace to my life... |
| I had to become naked, in the sense of stripping away all that I'd learned and been taught, in order to rebuild myself as my true self, and who & what I am today. Forbidden - because many are still in the dark, and unknowledgeable of native spirituality, and people fear that which they do not know, so in a way its "forbidden".. So basically represents me.. |
| Many Blessings, Helena-Aiyana WhiteDove |
| (Meaning : Bright Shining One, of eternal bloom, with a pure heart) |
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I have spirits Spirits have I I have spirits Spirits have I I have spirits Spirits have I I, I, I (repeat) (then) My spirits are like birds and the wings and bodies are dreams I have Spirits Spirits have I. I, I, I |
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