Pearls of Sadness

by Keiko no Miko
 
 

Chapter One
 

I take refuge from the scorching summer heat in the comfort of a nearby tree. I leap up towards a branch, then, confident that it will hold my body weight, sits down on it.

It is strange for me to be avoiding the sun. I’m a fire youkai, after all, and it isn’t that hot. But maybe what I really need is rest. I feel restless these past few Ningenkai days.

I look down below me. I see little boys and girls playing in, on and around small colorful structures. They don’t seem to mind the heat of the sun. They are laughing hysterically, wrestling each other on the ground.

This is what I have heard Kurama point to as a playground. Some sort of a playing place for children. This particular one is outdoors, near what he calls as an elementary school.

I smile as I shake my head. The kids look cute, I realize.

Here I go again. Is this really Hiei, avoiding heat, smiling serenely and finding brats cute? Doesn’t sound like typical me.

"O-niisan!!!"

I see a small brown-haired girl yelling at a taller and older young ningen. I notice that they have the same hair color and that they resemble each other. The man wears the blue clothes that look like what Urameshi Yusuke and that Kuwabara usually wore when I first met them.

"O-niisan, why are you leaving?" she asks, a bit irritably.

"Misao-chan, I have to go to school!" the man argues.

"But…."

The man rolls his eyes. He squats, holds the little girl on her waist, and stands up, carrying the girl. He holds her at arm length and stares at her.

"Misao, what am I going to do with you?"

"Umm…stay here with me? Onegai?"

"No way," the man says. He sets the girl down once more and raises his eyebrows at her. "Look here. I’m going to come back. I promise."

"Promise, o-niisan?"

"Yeah. Now can I leave?"

"But you’ll come back?"

"When I tell you I’ll come back, I will," the man says, a bit relieved.

"Well…all right."

The man smiles. He bends down and kisses her on her forehead. "See you later, Misao-chan."

"Sayonara."

My eyes follow the young man. He runs his fingers through his brown hair, whistling a tune to himself.

Somehow, his conversation with his younger sister made my very heart ache. It sounded so familiar.

Wasn’t that what I told her a few months ago? I’ll come back, I promise.

I did come back, but I was late. And when I finally came, she wasn’t there.

And I never saw my sister again.

I look at the girl now. She stares at her niisan, her eyes wide with anxiety. Then, as if to assure herself, she shrugs a bit and joins some boys who are presently engaged in a mock battle of fists.


The lone black figure sat on the rooftop, his legs crossed, his head rested on his fist. His intense red eyes burned at the sight of a tall, orange-topped man wrapping an arm across the shoulders of a cute girl wearing a periwinkle kimono.

"I just love winter here in Ningenkai," the girl hushed. A cloud of mist formed in front of her lips as she spoke.

"I’m so glad you’re here," the man replied softly.

Hiei rolled his eyes. What the heck does Yukina see in that long-faced, carrot-haired, big-mouthed ningen, anyhow? he wondered, shaking his head in dismay.

He looked at the couple again. Yukina’s face was lovely; her cheeks were flushed in an attractive pink hue. Her tousled mint-green hair flew wildly with the cool winter breeze. Truly, she was a sight to behold.

On the other hand, her partner, the forever-darned Kuwabara Kazuma, was a walking idiot board. His curly hair bounced merrily on his long head. He was grinning so preposterously that it was all Hiei could take to slash his katana on them.

That Kuwabara will surely drop dead on the ground when he sees me, thought Hiei as he stood up and dusted his black cloak. He leapt from where he stood to a nearby tree branch, then to another, until he landed on the ground in front of Kuwabara and Yukina.

Hiei heard a female’s gasp.

"H-Hiei?"

"HIEI???" Kuwabara screamed in his usual exaggerated voice. His mouth hung open as he stared at the being in front of him. "What the heck—"

"Am I that scary?" Hiei interrupted airily.

"For goodness’ sake, why did you ever come back?!" Kuwabara exclaimed. The big-mouth’s voice shook Hiei’s eardrums. "Do you know that life was a lot better when you were out there in the Makai?"

"Kazuma-san!" Yukina chided softly, looking at Hiei with genuine apology.

Hiei looked up towards the slightly cloudy sky. In his heart, Hiei felt a nervous yet happy flutter. He bit down on his lips, trying very hard to keep a straight face.

"Hiei…it’s been a long time…" That soft voice again.

"Hmph. I know." He rolled his eyes slightly.

"Come on, Yukina-san," Kuwabara said through gritted teeth as he threw dagger looks at Hiei. "Let’s leave this moron."

"What a nice welcome," Hiei said. "No wonder you find it hard to go through high school—you lack good manners."

"Look, what the hell do you really want?"

"Nothing. I just want to see you guys."

"Well, I don’t want to see you, and you know it!"

"You didn’t say that when I left for the Makai!"

"Arrrgh!!!"

A big battle of tongue-lashing took place between Hiei and Kuwabara. Of course, Kuwabara’s voice was louder. Hiei felt forces collect upon his Jagan, the ever-famous third eye of his.

Yukina felt caught between the two. She closed her eyes and cupped her ears with her hands. This Hiei took notice of. He looked at her worriedly, keeping quiet.

"…and you remember when we fought against Sensui? You slept when Yusuke defeated him and I had to carry you all the way back to Ningenkai with—"

"Baka! SHUT UP!!!"

Kuwabara suddenly came to a halt. Yukina’s eyes snapped open. Hiei looked at her, his eyes wide open.

Kuwabara held Yukina’s hand protectively. "Hiei, why don’t you see Urameshi first?" he suggested coldly. Hiei rolled his eyes once more.

Kuwabara dragged Yukina away. Hiei stood on his place, keeping his eyes glued on the ground.

On second thought, he turned around and looked at Yukina’s back. He stared at her.

Yukina, as if feeling Hiei’s gaze glued to her, reluctantly twisted her head to his direction.

"Later," Hiei mouthed.

Yukina bowed and looked away.

Yukina’s eyes darted from tree to tree, her face full of anxiety, and of hopefulness, too.

From Kuwabara’s rooftop, Hiei looked at his sister. She had become a bit chubbier since he last saw her, more than three years ago before he left for the Makai and for Mukuro. Still, the sweet, innocent koorime face wasn’t gone, and neither is the innocence within.

Hiei flitted from the rooftop and landed very silently behind Yukina. Yukina didn’t notice him.

"Konnichi wa, Yukina," he murmured.

Yukina twirled around, her hands flying towards her mouth in surprise. Then, seeing that it was Hiei, she exhaled slowly and smiled.

"Hiei…you’re finally back," she said. "I’ve waited for you for a very long time…"

"Um, yeah." For a moment, Hiei was at a loss for words. She waited for me? he asked himself. Heck, of course she did. You have her birth tear gem, baka.

"So, uh…did you…find him?" Yukina stammered shyly.

Hiei closed his eyes, preparing for the discourse that had been running through his mind for several days now.

A discourse full of nothing but lies, lies, lies.

"Yukina…gomen nasai for saying this."

Yukina’s eyes narrowed. She waited until Hiei spoke up again.

Hiei looked away from her face and glued his gaze on the street. "Your elder brother…I learned from one of the youkais that…he died in a battle…years ago."

Silence.

Hesitantly, Hiei faced Yukina.

Seeing her face almost made him unforgivable. Her ruby-red eyes were wide with shock, or anger, or sorrow—Hiei didn’t know. She trembled in place, clutching the fabric of her kimono tightly.

After what seemed like years of waiting, he saw Yukina grit her teeth and look down on the ground. Her eyes welled up with tears. Then, with a soft groan, she brought her hands to her face and sobbed quietly.

Soft clicking sounds were heard on the pavement. Small, pearl-like gems cluttered ceaselessly from Yukina. Her tear gems, the symbol of the koorime clan. Whenever a koorime cries, her tears turn to these gems.

Seeing Yukina cry almost broke Hiei’s heart. He closed his eyes as if fearing to see her miserable expression.

He reached down his pocket. His fingers trailed on two smooth stones, each of them attached to a simple string. He gripped one which he knew belonged to her.

Every tear gem that fell on the ground from Yukina’s hands sent a chill down his heart, slashing it. He was guilty. For once, Hiei felt guilty.

He drew a deep breath and edged closer to her.

"Here’s your necklace," Hiei said softly.

Yukina looked up. Hiei was holding her necklace before her face. Shedding another tear, she took the necklace from him.

"Y-you didn’t find…his body…?"

Hiei shook his head. "No. I’m sorry."

"Was it simply thrown away? Did anybody…at least care for him while he was alive?"

Too many questions, no answer to any of them. Hiei shook his head again. "I asked them, but I got no answer in return."

Click, click, click.

What am I doing? Hiei asked himself. He balled his hands into fists, preventing himself from spilling everything to her. His very lies, he knew, will bring regret to him sooner or later. His usually cold and fierce red eyes somehow grew a bit sympathetic.

But then, like a sudden gust of wind, his youkai feelings came rushing back. Who was he to feel guilty, anyway? As far as Yukina was concerned, her twin brother was dead.

She doesn’t have to know. His lies were a means of protecting her, anyway.

The less she knows, the better, the safer.

"So why are you crying?" Hiei finally stated, his voice hostile.

Yukina looked up. "I…I just wish I knew what he looked like…and knew what he’s like…inside…."

"Why?"

"Why?! He’s my brother, that’s why!" Yukina suddenly retorted. Hiei stepped back, obviously caught off-guard with Yukina’s statement, so innocuous coming from someone else.

"I don’t know my brother but I still love him!" Yukina continued. She was now sobbing uncontrollably that even Hiei felt unnerved. "How could you ask me why I’m crying or why I wish I knew him?"

"I—"

"If you have a sibling, you’ll know how it feels," she concluded. With another angry glare at Hiei, she ran off.

Hiei stared after Yukina’s running figure. He immediately regretted what he had said.

"You’ll know how it feels…"

"Of course I know how it feels!" he said to no one in particular, but apparently addressing Yukina. "You’re my sister! I spent years searching for you!"

If you realize how much I love you, you’ll know. You’ll know….


I look at the high school where Kuwabara Kazuma studies. Kuwabara, that jerk who is better known as Yukina’s boyfriend.

Lots of times have I wondered how Kuwabara could possibly kiss her dainty lips with his big mouth.

The very thought of it sends me shaking my head, trying to get rid of the very thought of it.

But come to think of it, I have to drink cheers for that ningen. He and Yusuke saved Yukina from an idiot who kidnapped her because he wanted to make money from her tear gems.

Then I got dragged into the Ankoku Bujutsukai, where Kuwabara, Yusuke, Kurama and I, together as the Urameshi Team, ascended as champions. I never really wanted to be there, but that stupid Koenma Daiou made me join them to pay for my crimes as a ruthless robber and murderer.

I touch my headband that conceals my Jagan, the very thing that helped me search for my sister. It had been my goal from the very beginning—to find her. What I didn’t know then was whether I should tell her.

But when I finally saw her face on a Reikai video, I suddenly realized that I can’t tell her. She’s very sweet, strong, good-hearted, and most of all, she is by all means a koorime.

Whereas her twin brother is a fire youkai, a vicious slasher, a murderer, a robber. Cold-hearted, never shedding a tear in his whole life.

But now, I finally realize that no matter how different we are from each other, we are twins. Brother and sister. Bonded together firmly, infinitely, never letting any force come between.

I can see the main entrance of the building from the tree where I hide. I hear a bell ring. Ningens pour out of the entrance like scurrying ants seeing a pile of leftovers.

Now I see a familiar orange-topped head. He seems to jut out of the crowd because of his unusual height. He stared straightforward. He seems to be mesmerized by an unknown force. However strange he looks like, I only know one thing—he is thinking about Yukina.

He did save her before. But when it was the second time, he wasn’t able to. We weren’t able to.
 
 


Chapter Two


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