SBA FC vs. Leicester Foxes

The morning began with me (Ali), Cledders and Jose Adams attempting to get our new found keeper out of bed… After ten minutes of knocking the door, ringing various phones and even putting the odd car window through so as to raise some alarm, Van Cledwin came to the conclusion that the keeper was refusing to answer the door and had also in fact instructed his muppet parents to ignore the incessant banging and hide with him in the back room with the curtains closed… When I questioned Van Cledwin’s theory he told me that they were “that kind of people… trust me,” whatever that means.

Anyway this resulting non-too surprisingly in our car load being late again…

The match.

SBA lined up with the reliable 3-5-2 formation mainly due to having no defender with a left foot. Pete stepped up and took one for the team (again) by offering to do another stint in goal, he was aided by a back three of Martin (some bloke from Tim’s school), Tim and Jonny H. The midfield saw Millsy on the left, Jordy on the right with Jose and Dan in midfield. The SBA also welcomed back Mick The Hitman from premature retirement and he too slotted into the midfield. Dave and Cledders started up front. The match began at a fairly high tempo with the SBA offering some good attacking football but being exposed all too often down the flanks. Despite some promising passing football the SBA conceded on 20mins from a low drive from just! outside the box. Although Martin was told to play at centre back he was usually found marauding up past the midfield instead. To counteract this clear display of petulance I decided to swap him with Jose from midfield. This gave Dan a bit more room to go forward which eventually resulted in probably the best move of the match. Following some slick interplay and quick passes the SBA rounded off a 20 pass move (yes I counted) with Cledwin crossing from the left and young Dan heading home with lethal accuracy. 1-1.

Almost straight from the kick-off Leicester strode past the midfield and restored the lead with another fine drive from distance. 1-2.

It becomes very difficult at this point to find the adjectives to describe exactly how shite we became upon conceding the second goal. SBA completely collapsed and bent over for Leicester who were more than willing to give us a right rooting. We went in to half time at 1-4 down…

I’d been going pretty mental on the sidelines for most of the first half and found it fairly difficult to hide my feelings during my half time team talk. We made a couple of changes with Gav being told to put in the hard yards at right back and a formation change to a

4-4-2. Jordy was told to do a job on the right wing and young Dan went up front with Van Cledders. I demanded a massive change and a quick reply to their first half feast of goals but not even I was prepared for what came next…

Within two minutes of the restart young Dan rounded the keeper smartly to slot home his and the SBA’s second goal. 2-4.

Every time the SBA went forward we looked dangerous with young Dan and Van Cledders making intelligent runs causing the Leicester defence all kinds of problems.

The order of what happened next became a bit of a blur and quite honestly I couldn’t write down the scorers fast enough such was the rate of goals. Among them was an absolute belter from The Hitman from 25 yards on the half volley! Sweet! Cledwin got a second half hat trick including a long range drive and one cheeky mother of a chip. Martin scored a very fine header on the far post from another slick passing move and pinpoint cross. Gav managed to grab himself a brace in the goal feast one of which was a fine low shot from just inside the box.

Although SBA conceded two goals in the second half our formidable attacking play was too hot to handle and we finished comfortable winners. The final score was 9-6. It was wonderful to watch how hard the players worked for each other in that second half and the character and belief they showed was also admirable. At no point did the match turn nasty and I have been reliably informed that there was only one foul and no offside queries despite there being no referee or linesman. This, I think is a testament to the attitude and sporting nature of both teams involved.

This brings us nicely to the inevitable Shooters and Rooters…

Shooter: The award must go to the irrepressible Sam Cledwin for his awesome hat trick and fine post match interview. (We’ve recorded it for those interested… it’s a cracker!)

Rooter: For making me late and generally pissing off myself and certain members of the team the award goes to Adam the would-be-keeper and his obliging parents.