Howdy!
What has happened? How much a week can make.. So in the past week.. I lost my best friend. I lost a guy who I liked alot. I dyed my hair burgandy. Im happy, but im not sure why or sure if I actually am happy. I feel really alone. I dont remember spending so much time on my own.. Im not sure if I like it, But this happens. So where do I go from here? Im not sure. All I know is im in a process of making myself better. I dont want anymore negetive stuff in my life. (IE: partying all the time, friends taking me for granted, backstabbers) There is alot more but I'm not sure So I tried to get this boy back, but he doesnt seem very willing to let me try to get him back. So I dont know what to do about that. I want him back and I know I screwed up big time. But I have never actually tried to get someone back and I have never tried to undo something that I knew what I did was wrong. But I cant sit here waiting my whole life if he isnt willing to let me... Its like last week I tried to take him to dinner and he said he was doing something with a friend, which fine, but he hasnt been returning my calls since and everytime I call him I get his machine.. Which is frustrating as hell. :-( Then my best friend, I guess you know when you have to go your own ways.. I told him i'll always love him and care for him, but he decided to go his own way by not being there when I needed him the most. He has been there for me alot but over the past month or two he stopped returning my calls.. :( God I'm getting depressed just writing this.. But I know im a better person now then I was 2 weeks ago.. and I dont think its just the burgandy hair, except for the fact I do think it looks good on me.. Now the summer is coming I dont know what I'll do now that I feel really lonely.. I guess I need to get some new friends and start paying more attention to the people in my life that ive been deglecting over the past couple of months.. I realized that there is more to life then going to a club every single night and getting drunk or high.. But who said life was going to be easy, at least I actually want it to get better and not just watch my life then not watching it and finding things to take reality away. Anyways this diary entry is boring so I'll end it now.. |
