SUZI PERRY TRIBUTE.

"As a fan of old shit (I'm not calling Suzi old shit), I appreciated it when the BBC brought back Channel 4's long dead "Treasure Hunt". I never saw the original with Anneka Rice but it's a cool concept. That's why in early '03 this page started and grew over a few months once I got the gallery working. Suzi is a real woman, so you Jocks who wank over Christina Aguilera every second can fuck off. I hate seeing you in HMV, pondering over Slayer's 'South of Heaven', thinking it'll be the same as AC/DC's 'Back In Black' or a Nickelback album. And 'Scream I - XI' aren't horror movies, you clits. That's enough - check out this leather-clad, motorbike loving Goddess." - Inky, Jan 2005.

As 'Tenacious D' once sang, "This is just a tribute..." My past tribute pages have gone down the tubes, as the thing inquestion became shit [Banzai! & Shota Arveladze to name a few] but hopefully this won't be the case this time. For those who don't know who Suzi Perry is, she's the BBC's action girl, and this page appeared when she was right on the brink of super stardom. She presents Motorbike and Speedway shit, and used to be a model a few years back. She even was one of the presenters for Wimbledon 2003 (for the record, I think tennis in general is shit.) Since 2003, Suzi has been very busy, and even made appearances at the Kerrang! awards and Sports Personality of the Year. She follows Wolves, and their progress has been, well, not that startling. A few thrashings at the beginning of the season sees them 20th, but will they beat the drop? With Scottish players such as Alex Rae, Kenny Miller and Colin Cameron, who knows? Surely they're not as bad as Leeds? (Nope, they'll be both playing Nationwide Football in 2004/2005 season!) Not only is Suzi stunning for her looks, I listed reasons that are 'good' and 'bad' - compared to my half-assed tastes.

SOME OF HER GOOD POINTS [WHY SHE WOULD BE IDEAL]

• She recently presented the revamped "Treasure Hunt" on BBC 2 [16th-20th Dec 2002]: A re-run of the Channel 4 legend, which originally ran from 1982-87. The concept is excellent, and so is she ( She's 'The Treasured C*nt') No jumpsuit for her, like old puffer Anneka Rice, just leather trousers.
• Favourite City - San Francisco: Metallica, the world's greatest band is based there... Metal Up Yer Ass!
• Favourite Films - Indiana Jones: God-damned classics...
• Country - Spain (Catalunya): Deportivo la Coruna are a Catalunyian club... back of the net!
• She wasn't good at maths: Tell me about it...
• "My love for live music began in the womb, I generally love tunes that bring back great memories and Spanish rhythms: if they can't sing live forget it!": Ah, live music, it's magic. As for Spanish rhythms?, Megadeth's "99 Ways To Die" has a Spanish accoustic bit and part of Jason Newsted's bass solo for 'Wherever I May Roam' '91-'92 springs to mind. [bum delum bum bum HEY!]

SOME OF HER BAD POINTS [WHY SHE SUCKS]

• The very fact she likes Motorbikes, and the motorsport itself... I hate motor racing! [Can you guess why?]
• "I grew up in Wolverhampton (hence my allegiance to the Wolves)": Shite...
• "My ideal night out would be an intimate concert with Elvis, followed by a lush balti cooked to perfection with loads of coriander!": Not that I hate Indian food, or particularly dislike Elvis, it's the fact Fudge likes them. Also, the fact that she wants an 'intimate concert' with a fat bloated junkie who died 25 years ago, is worrying...
• Dislikes Scampi ('since it poisoned her live on air'): No, Scampi is good.
• Dislikes Tequila: (Unlucky Phillips!)
• Hates War Films: What about "We Were Soldiers" and "Saving Private Ryan"? Classics!
• Dislikes - "People who deliberately copy other peoples ideas": Damn it! It's ironic I copied other peoples ideas/materials when talking about her.
• Irritations- Poor drivers: Aw nuts... just 'cos she rides motorbikes.

'Bad points' outweigh the 'Good points', so I'm boned.

CLICK HERE FOR IMAGES OF SUZI PERRY

© Official site: SuziPerry.com 2003 - 2006