drivin' down the highway to get me some wendy's
here come the popo tryin' to get me

yoyo i love the popo
when i'm going to wendy's
for my burgers and cheese
then a woo-woo
here comes the police
big red blue pulls up behind me
i was driving a stolen car
from my mother i guess, G

they take me out and stand me up and cuff me twice, not once but twice
that wasn't very nice. but i guess i had a criminal mind, not to mention a lot of pens in my pocket

and nicotine gum in a cigarette case which led him to believe that my mind was laced
maybe with LSD, such a young young waste. just graduated college with high honors now i'm in a police chase

please be advised we have a silver mercury sable in hot pursuit and he seems to be pulling over already at wendy's
we're gonna need a lot of backup because this looks like it could be a completely boring situation
and we're probably going to end up apologizing because we're idiots ... over

just last week i got the same deal, almost
i was a robber with a trunk full of clothes
i had a brinks box in my back seat
with a glove and a hanger and a media cabinet piece
that looked like a double sided hook

yeah yeah, i just pulled that guy over last week up here in marion county. 
i knew he was up to no good, with his glove and his hanger and his brinks home security box and his trunk full of clothes.
you have my verbal warrant to touch his balls when you're looking for drugs on him.

it took three cops, maybe two were just starving ass
they searched every inch of my body except my love shaft
but he had to ask though, are you hiding something in your pants?
well if you wanna check i guess but first may i have this dance?

i'm sorry if i seem a little punk rebellious at the moment
i can't help but look like a burglar again with all of this shit
i'm moving i swear, and if you'd like i can tell you a 20 minute
story based on the 20 minutes of questions you have before

they waddn't havin that callin' mom shit
she'd lie for me cause i'd make up the digits
the drug dog's barking. i didn't sleep much
the nice cop said 'oh he always puts up a fuss'

that don't matter though, that's just reason to deceive
even though the dogs retarted, he has a reason to believe
he's by wendy's its near break, he has a reason to conceive
maybe if he could pull more time from his sleeve

i really hope you let the drug dog rummage my car
cause i'm a little confused again, and i feel like i'm lying too

i got cuffs digging into my bones and 
i'm sitting on them cause they wouldn't let me sit on my own
so while i lift a little just to escape a potential sore
he fills me with his mighty wisdom 'if you move they hurt more huh huh'

so while i lift my ass a little just to escape from the breakage he lets me know some mighty wisdom if you move em they hurt more

i got cuffs digging into my bones and 
i'm sitting on them cause they wouldn't let me sit on my own
this seems a little wierd like i'm being set up for rape
i better get it in my head to think of a way to escape
but nevertheless after the 40 questions, known as the sequel
i finally convinced them i was not that dumb and evil
i gave them cell phone numbers and my mom had saved the day
she told them all about the fact she owned the car i drove away
but it was given to me long ago not a property by theft
and told them have me call her when i'm uncuffed and they've left
but that was not enough to let me go without a care
they're still searching for answers from a soul who wasn't there
the marion connection, the great gods up in the sky
still keeping them on hold why there are finding reasons why
it seems from their best story when a car is towed away
"its put in all our systems that its stolen, yeah that's right"
this is of course after leutenant person rolls along
and they confess they're findings, that i didn't own a bong
i'm not a thief of cars and i am not that much insane
i wasn't on the pot nor was i full of pot remains
there was no LSD, no crack or any of these things
in fact my car had boringness so vast it causes pain
so making this so short i hope i've cleared up many things
to all the wendy's watchers and the catchers of their waves (listeners of the cb)

i didn't cap a cop i didn't pack a mack or glock
nobody called the shop to have man strippers give me cock
no giant bricks of coke were found inside my sable's frame
and pretty much this whole entire day has just been
really fucking lame

im glad i wasn't late to work
cause i didn't have a job yet
too bad i wasn't just a jerk
so they would give me cane hits
so mad i didn't get some cash
or something for my time spent
but i couldn't refuse to just let my boobs
be touched by oh so many men

.....ok just one did