foolagainff

Prologue

�I�m sorry.� Those three words broke her heart. Her hazel brown eyes filled with tears. �No.� Shane took her hand in his. �It�s not that I don�t love you.� �Than why are you breaking up with me?� Jaclyn couldn�t look him in the eyes. �I can�t give you all. I want to give a 100% in a relationship. With Westlife I can�t.� Shane sighed. �I had to make a choice. It wasn�t easy. Westlife is a dream coming true.� Jaclyn raised her head and looked at him. �We had dreams together.� She whispered. �I know.� Shane brushed a look of hair out of her face. �I need to chase this dream. Please understand.� Jaclyn shook her head. �I can�t understand. I love you.� Shane slowly let go of her hand. �I�m sorry Jac. I really am.� Jaclyn sank down on her bed. She barely noticed the closing of the front door. He was gone. Out of her life. She covered her face with her hands and started crying. The phone rang but she ignored it. She didn�t want to talk to anyone. It was probably Georgina. She started crying even harder. At least Georgina had Nick. She had no one anymore.

Part 1

Shane closed the door of the hotel room behind him. It was dark and cold. He would never get used to the loneliness. He missed Jaclyn. He had tried to convince himself he couldn�t give her what she needed. He wanted a full relationship. But lately he missed her more than ever. He had no idea what day it was. Or even what country they were staying in. Shane had been working his ass off to make it all work. To fulfill his dream. At times likes this he hated his dream. He lost the one thing he loved because of that dream. Shane walked to the mini bar. He needed a drink and fast. Thank god Ronan understood the way things were on tour and they had all been given full access to the mini bars. He chose his drink and turned on the TV. As usual nothing was on. �Why don�t they all show sky or something?� Shane tossed the remote through the room and sat on his bed. He could hear Nick and Georgina giggle. He sighed. Should he call Jaclyn to see how she was doing? �Don�t be silly. It�s been almost ten months since you left her. She doesn�t need you in your life again.� Shane made a mental note to ask Ronan if talking to your self on tour was very common. Shane laid back and closed his eyes. Jaclyn had moved on. She had to. She wasn�t the girl to sit back and weep.

Part 2

Jaclyn just filled the last washing machine with clothes when the bell rang. �God another customer.� She quickly ran a hand through her hair and walked to the counter. �How may I help you?� The woman turned around and Jaclyn�s jaw hit the counter. �Oh my god Nik.� She didn�t know how fast she had to walk around the counter to hug her old friend. �I haven�t seen you in a long, long time.� Nik smiled. �Not since we went on tour.� Jaclyn�s face fell. �Oh honey. I�m sorry.� Jaclyn shook her head. �Don�t be. It�s been so long. No need to cry over spilled milk.� She wiped her eyes and looked at Nik. �You look fantastic. Life on the road has been good to you.� Nik started laughing. �Bryan has been good to me.� Jaclyn guided her to a bench. �Sit down. Do you want some tea?� Nik looked at her watch. �I have a few minutes.� Jaclyn quickly made some tea and sat beside the young woman. Nik swirled her spoon around. �Have you seen Shane?� Jaclyn shook her head. �I don�t want to see him.� �He misses you.� Jaclyn snorted. �He broke up with me. He should have thought about that.� Nik placed a hand on Jaclyn�s arm. �You look really tired. Are you sure you are okay?� To Nik�s surprise Jaclyn started crying. �Jac?� Jaclyn sniffled. �I�m sorry. I haven�t been sleeping well for a few days.� �Is college stressing you out?� Jaclyn looked at her cup of tea. �I dropped out.� �What?� Nik lifted Jaclyn�s chin. �Why on earth did you do that? You were top of the class.� Jaclyn shrugged. �Something came up.� �Something like what?� �Come with me.� Jaclyn walked to the back office. �Something like this.� Nik saw a small crib. She peeked inside and saw a small infant. �You never told me you met someone new and had a child with him.� �I didn�t.� Nik turned pale. �I was 3 weeks pregnant when Shane broke up with me.�

Part 3
�But you never told him, did you?� Jaclyn shook her head. �He couldn�t give me a 100%. Why would he be able to give that to a child?� Jaclyn sat down on a chair. �I don�t want to ruin his career. It�s his dream.� �So is having a family.� �But he can�t have both.� �You are denying him his child.� �He doesn�t know so I�m not denying anything.� Nik looked at the sleeping child. �May I hold him, her?� �Her name is Gwendolyn. I named her after my grandmother.� Jaclyn carefully lifted the baby out of the crib and gave her to Nik. �You really shouldn�t take her to Bryan. He would want a baby the very next moment.� Jaclyn started laughing. �Typical Bryan.� The little girl stirred in Nik�s arms and opened her eyes. She had the same eyes as her father. �She is beautiful. Did everything go ok with the birth and so.� Jaclyn nodded. �I had a terrific friend. She helped me through it all.� Nik handed the child back to Jaclyn. �We are having a welcome home dinner over at Ronan�s tomorrow. Will you be there too?� Jaclyn wanted to say no but Nik had a pleading look in her eyes. �Not just for me. But I know George would love to see you and Yvonne and�� Jaclyn raised her hand to stop Nik�s rambling. �Tell me what time and I�ll see if I can get a sitter, ok?� Nik squealed and hugged Jaclyn. �You won�t be sorry. I promise.� Jaclyn smiled. She wouldn�t have to talk to Shane. She could ignore him all night. �I think it will be nice catching up with all the girls.�

Part 4

Her stomach was doing back flips by the time Jaclyn arrived at the Keating residence. She could hear people laugh and talk happily. She could go back now she had the chance. The front door opened. �Jac!� Mark scooped her up in a big hug. �God, where have you been woman?� Jaclyn had to smile. �I�m a working woman now.� Mark pulled her inside. �Look who I found on the front steps.� The room turned silent as they all stared at her. Yvonne and Nik released a sigh of relief. Bryan and Kian instantly jumped up and hugged her. �It�s great to see you again.� Jaclyn got tears in her eyes. She hadn�t realized she had missed them all so much. �It�s great to be here.� Nick pushed Bryan and Kian away. �Let me hug my favorite girl.� Nick wrapped his arms tightly around her. �I missed you.� Jaclyn closed her eyes. �I missed you too.� She choked. Nick released her and looked at her. �Those better be happy tears.� Jaclyn smiled. �Only happy tears.� He kissed her on the cheek. Ronan gave her a quick hug and so did Yvonne. Jaclyn scanned the room but didn�t see Shane. She was just about to ask where he was when Shane ran into the room. �Sorry I�m late. Kelsey couldn�t find a proper dress.� He wanted to say more but his gaze fell on Jaclyn. He opened his mouth but nothing came out. �Hello Shane.� �Hi.� He stuttered. Jaclyn felt his uneasiness. �Maybe it�s best if I leave again. It was great to see you all again.� �Don�t you dare leave.� A young woman showed up behind Shane. �George!� Jaclyn ran to her friend to hug her. Instantly the girls started chatting. Shane stepped aside and let his new girlfriend in.

Part 5

Jaclyn found Shane�s new girlfriend very familiar. But she couldn�t tell when or where she had seen her before. She made a mental note to ask Nik or Georgina who she was. It was great to be around all her friends again. When she found she was pregnant she had slowly reduced all contact. She didn�t want them to found out. Now she sat with all of them around one big table. Mark brought his girlfriend, Helen, along. Bryan and Nik constantly sending out love vibes to each other. Nick and Georgina were so in love. Jaclyn sighed. Kian had told her repeatedly that he was still single. She had to laugh so hard. No one had changed. She felt a sting of hurt when she saw Yvonne, Ronan and Jack together but that only lasted a second. Shane was sitting on the opposite site of the table. He kept staring at her. Jaclyn didn�t want to look at him but her gaze was constantly drawn to him. He looked gorgeous. His hair was slightly longer. His eyes greener than ever. Once in a while he would smile when someone made a joke. That smile still send shivers down her spine. Jaclyn sighed again. �Why are you sighing so much?� Jaclyn looked at Kian. �Oh it�s just that I�m so jealous of all the girls lying at your feet each day.� Kian grinned. �Wanna join them?� Jaclyn started laughing. �You don�t give up, do you?� �Not when a beautiful woman is concerned.� �Oh stop it.� Kian looked her deep in her eyes. �I can�t. You have this wonderful glow over you.� Jaclyn started to blush. �Kian, behave.� Yvonne gave him a stern look. The whole table started laughing when Kian bent his head and mumbled an apology. Jaclyn touched his arm. �Poor thing.� Kian looked up with a sad look. �See that�s why I�m still single. Each time I make a pass at a girl Yvonne sets me straight.� Jaclyn shook her head with a smile. He was still the same.

Part 6

She was beautiful. Shane hadn�t seen her when he first came in but the shock must have been clearly visible on his face when he did see her. She was just like he remembered her. Big innocent hazel brown eyes, a shy smile. She was perfect. He wondered who invited her. It was very hard for him to keep his attention with Kelsey all night. She sat on the other end of the table. He couldn�t keep his eyes of her. Shane had to fight to urge to hit Kian each time he flirted with her. She was his and no one else. Shane shook his head. She wasn�t his anymore. She probably had a new boyfriend. She looked happy. Tired but happy. He wanted to ask her so many things. But he had no idea how to approach her. Was she still angry with him? Or had he been forgiven? Shane was happy when Ronan suggested they should move to the lounge for coffee. Shane nearly forgot about Kelsey when he almost ran to the lounge. He wanted a seat close to Jaclyn. He wanted to hear each word coming out of her mouth. But Jaclyn didn�t enter the lounge. She lingered at the door. �It was wonderful to see you all again. But I really have to go. I have to get up early tomorrow.� Yvonne smiled at her. �It was great seeing you too.� Georgina and Nik walked her to the door. When she was out of sight Shane sighed deep. �Someone is in love.� Mark teasingly sang in his ear. Shane gave him an angry look. �I�m very happy with Kelsey, thank you.� Mark started laughing. �You hardly said a word to her tonight. You only had eyes for Jaclyn. I don�t blame you. She was very beautiful.� �She is mine.� Hissed Shane. Mark just raised an eyebrow and looked at him. Shane realized what he just said. He rubbed his face with his hands. �What am I going to do?� Mark shrugged. �Let�s start by being honest to yourself and Kelsey.�

Part 7

Jaclyn was glad the night was over. It was great to see all her old friends again but seeing Shane was awkward. He still had this weird effect on her. She looked at Gwendolyn. The little child was happily drinking from her breast. Jaclyn touched her soft hair. �I saw daddy today. Daddy found someone new. He doesn�t need you or me anymore.� Gwendolyn opened one eye and looked at her mother. Jaclyn smiled. She was a perfect child. The doorbell interrupted their little mother daughter bonding. Jaclyn looked at the clock. It was already passed midnight. She covered Jaclyn with a blanket and went to the door. After a peek through the glass she opened the door. �Kian, what you are doing here so late?� Kian smiled. �I had to ask you something.� He shivered in the cold. �May I come in?� �Sure, come in.� Jaclyn hoped he would leave again soon. Kian sat down on the couch. �Nice place. Nik gave me the address. Hope you don�t mind?� Jaclyn shook her head. �No, that�s okay.� There was a moment of silence. �Jac?� �Hmm.� �Would you go out with me?� �Sorry?� Kian rose to his feet. �Forget it.� �No, no, please sit.� �We have a few dinners and awards things in the next month. I was hoping you�d come with me as my date.� Kian started blush and looked at the floor. �I�d love to�� Great!� Kian pulled her in for a hug. Gwendolyn didn�t agree with this and started crying. Kian looked surprised. �Your blanket just cried.� �I know.� Whispered Jaclyn. She bit her bottom lip hoping she wouldn�t start crying. Kian slowly pulled the blanket back. �Jaclyn, that�s a baby!� Jaclyn sighed. �I know.� Kian sat down on the couch. �What are you doing with a baby?� �Raising it.� Jaclyn carefully moved Gwendolyn away from her breast and covered herself again. �Where is the father? I mean that if you are living with the guy I would have never asked you to come with me.� �Gwendolyn�s father is not here.� Jaclyn didn�t look at Kian. She was afraid he would have a look of disgust and hate in his eyes. �May I hold her?� Jaclyn handed Kian her daughter. She started to suck on the hand and opened her eyes. �Oh oh.� �What? Did she pee on you?� Kian started laughing and shook his head. �This girl shouldn�t open her eyes if you don�t want to say who the father is.� �Is it that obvious?� �Let�s just say there is one other person in this world with that eye color.� �Please don�t tell him.� Begged Jaclyn. �Only if you come with me to the awards and so.� �I promise.� �Than I won�t tell.�

Part 8

Jaclyn was Kian�s date to the award shows he had to attend. Everyone agreed on the great couple they made. Suddenly they were headline news. Jaclyn wasn�t too happy with the attention. She was afraid they would find out about Gwendolyn. But she loved spending time with Kian. He knew how to make her smile and he was the perfect date. He had even gone shopping with her. His mother looked after Gwendolyn when they had to stay overnight. �Are you enjoying yourself?� Jaclyn nodded. �Good.� Kian rubbed her arm. �It will be over soon. Another hour or so.� �My feet are killing me.� �I know why.� Jaclyn raised an eyebrow. �You haven�t danced enough.� She teasingly hit his arm. �Shh.� Mark looked at them. �We were nominated for this award.� Jaclyn paid attention to the woman on stage. �And the winner of the best European band goes to Westlife.� All the guys jumped up. �We won, we won.� Yelled Bryan before he kissed Nic. Kian bent close to Jaclyn. They stared in each other�s eyes. �Congratulations.� Whispered Jaclyn. �Thank you.� Softly his lips touched hers. Cameras flashed around them. Kian pulled back from the kiss and Nick pushed him towards the stage. Jaclyn slowly raised her hand and touched her lips. A strange tingling sensation formed in her stomach. Nik and George sat down on the chairs beside her. �He kissed you. Kian kissed you.� Jaclyn nodded absently. �Since when are you a thing?� Asked Nik. �We aren�t.� George looked at her with a questioning look in her eyes. �He kissed you on national TV. The whole of Europe saw that. And you tell me you aren�t a couple.� Jaclyn wanted to answer but the guys already returned to the table. Kian sat down next to her again. Jaclyn didn�t know what to do. Luckily Kian took her trembling hand in his. �We�ll talk about this later.�

Part 9

�Why did you kiss me, Kian? My life is complicated enough.� Jaclyn was getting upset. He hadn�t spoken a word to her on the ride back to the hotel. And now that they were in his room he still wasn�t talking. �Kian!� He stood with his back towards at the window. �I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to kiss you ever since you walked in the living room at Ronan�s.� �Why?� Jaclyn closed her eyes. �Because I love you.� �No, you can�t love me.� She opened her eyes again and saw that he had turned around. �Why can�t I love you? Because you have Shane�s child? I could her love like she was my own.� Jaclyn shook her head. �Please don�t Kian. Don�t love me.� He grabbed her arms. �Tell me why I can�t. Convince my heart that I can�t love you.� The pain and hurt was clearly visible in his eyes. �Don�t love me because� because�� A tear ran down her cheek. Kian gently wiped it away. �Why?� He whispered. �Because I�ve fallen in love with you and one of us will end up hurt.� �No, we won�t. If we love each other everything will be okay.� Jaclyn pulled herself free. �Kian, I have Shane�s child. Sooner or later the press will find out. I�ll be a whore in their eyes. First Shane and than you. I can�t.� �We can make it work. I don�t care what the press says. I love you.� Jaclyn let Kian embrace her. �Please Jac, I never felt so strong about anyone before.� Jaclyn closed her eyes and listen to his rapid heartbeat. She mumbled a quick prayer. �I don�t want to hurt you.� �You won�t.� Jaclyn raised her head and looked at him. �Promise me we can make this work.� �I promise.� He whispered just before he kissed. This time with a little more passion.

Part 10

Jaclyn woke up in total bliss. After the kiss last night Kian and her had talked for a bit and than she had gone to her own room. She didn�t want to rush things. Each time she thought of the kiss, her lips started to tingle again. Jaclyn sat up straight and stretched herself. She called Kian�s mum to hear if Gwendolyn had been a good girl and got up. At the same moment someone knocked on the door. Jaclyn grabbed her robbed and checked herself in the mirror. She was slightly disappointed when Helen entered the room. She carried a tray in her arm. Nic followed with another tray. Georgina and Yvonne were the last to enter. �It�s time for a girl�s breakfast.� Helen placed the tray on the bed. �We want to hear all the details.� They all sat on the bed. Helen poured everyone some tea and Nic handed out sandwiches. �Ok, spill.� Jaclyn giggled. �We kissed.� The four other girls cheered. �So what about Shane?� Everyone looked at Georgina. �Hey, someone had to ask.� Jaclyn quickly exchanged glanced with Yvonne. �There is something I need to tell you about Shane. Something he doesn�t know yet.� Yvonne grabbed her hand. �It�s ok, sweetie. They�ll understand.� Jaclyn took a deep breath. �When Shane and I broke up I was three weeks pregnant. He has a daughter.� Georgina and Helen did their best not to look too surprised. �But Kian and..and..� �Kian knows. He loves her very much. See when Shane left me he told me he give me all I wanted. He couldn�t divide his time between Westlife and me. How will he be able to spend time with his daughter when he didn�t have time to spend with me.� The room was silent. �I will tell Shane in the end. I have to. Gwen will start asking questions when she is older. I just want to enjoy her for a while. Shane is going to take her away from me. I know he will.� Jaclyn wiped away a tear. Georgina gave her a hug. �We are here for you. You�ll have several new babysitters now.� Jaclyn smiled. �Now do you all want the details on Kian?� They all nodded. �Well, I started to get this weird feeling each time he came to pick me up.� Jaclyn told them all about Kian and the way she felt about. They all enjoyed having a little gossip session on the boys. It was just like old times.

Part 11
Meanwhile Kian went downstairs to have breakfast with the guys. He was surprised to see only Kelsey at the table. �Where are the other girls?� Kelsey shrugged. �They live in a little world. I don�t care.� Kian sat down and poured him self some coffee. He had hardly slept that night. All he could think about was Jaclyn. �Morning.� Bryan sat down with a plate full of food. �Man, I�m so hungry. Wining awards is so good for my appetite.� Nick, who sat down next, started laughing. �Spending the night with Nic is the main reason I think.� Mark and Shane sat down too. �Morning.� Greeted Kian. Mark replied with a smile. Shane just stared at him. �Is something wrong, Shane?� Shane narrowed his eyes and turned to Kelsey. �Could you give us a moment?� Kelsey nodded and got up. Kian leant back in his chair. He wondered what Shane was up to. Shane looked at him and said: �she�s mine, Kian.� Kian couldn�t believe his ears. �Yours? Last time I checked you broke up with her nearly a year ago.� �Guys, let�s not get in a fight over this.� Mark tried to stop it before it got out of hand. �He started it.� Kian said. �Give up while you can Kian. Jaclyn is mine.� Kian pushed his chair back. �She told me she loved me last night. You once had her but she is in love with me now.� Bryan rolled his eyes. �Kian is right, Shane.� �We�ll see who�ll win this one.� Kian rose to his feet. �I don�t want to fight over this. Give up the jealous act.� Kian walked away from the table. �Watch your back Kian, one day she�ll be mine again. And you�ll be the loser.� Mark sighed. �Come on Shane. Give up on the woman. She doesn�t love you anymore. You have Kelsey now.� Shane looked at Mark. �I�m not a quitter Mark. I always get what I want. And Jaclyn is what I want at the moment.�

Part 12
Kian decided not to tell Jaclyn about it but kept his distance from Shane. The mood in the band soon became hostile. Bryan kinda agreed with Kian. Mark didn�t want to get involved and Nick acted liked nothing happened. On the other hand his relationship with Jaclyn was getting better and better. He took her to a small castle when they had a few days off. They took the time to get to know each other better. He loved to take Gwendolyn for a walk. He would put on his sunglasses and no one recognized him. And when they did, they didn�t believe it was him, as he had no child. He knew it could all be over once the press or even Shane would find out the child was not Kian�s. But right now he didn�t want to think about it. He was happy. For the first time in his life he was completely happy.
�Kian?� He looked up from the book he was reading. Jaclyn stood in the doorway. She had a tired look on her face. �I think we should tell Shane about Gwendolyn.� Kian waved her close. She sat on the couch and rested her head on his shoulder. �I can�t lie anymore. There are already rumors going round. One day he�ll hear them and than I will loose her.� Kian wrapped his arm around her. �When do you want to tell him?� �Soon.� Kian leant back and pulled Jaclyn with him. �Before or after we move in together?� Jaclyn jerked up. �You mean?� Kian flashed his smile. �I got the house we looked at the other day.� Jaclyn squealed and hugged him. �I thought they had some other buyer too?� �They had but they backed out at the last minute. I got word this morning.� Jaclyn gave him a kiss. �I love you.� �I love you too.� Kian pulled her close again. He gently stroked her hair. �I could sit like this for a really long time.� �I have no where to go.� Kian chuckled. �I have. A very exciting record company party. Ronan won another award for his solo album.� �Poor you.� Kian looked at Jaclyn. She smiled back at him with a happy glow in her eyes. �I�ll get you back for this.� Jaclyn stretched her arms and wrapped them around his neck. �I�m an ordinary girl who works in a launderette. I have no posh parties to go to. I�ll leave that to my celebrity boyfriend.� Kian started tickling her. �And you have it so bad.� �I do.� Screamed Jaclyn in between laughing fits. Kian kissed her. Suddenly he turned serious. �Do you want me to be there when you talk to Shane?� Jaclyn shook her head. �No, this is something I have to do on my own.�

Part 13

Jaclyn asked Shane to meet her on neutral grounds. She choose a small caf� she discovered when she was pregnant. Jaclyn was playing with her spoon. Shane was late. She glanced over her shoulder. Her babysitter was sitting behind her in case Shane wanted to see Gwendolyn right away. The door of the caf� opened and Shane came in. Jaclyn�s heart jumped a little. She hadn�t spoken to him privately since they broke up. �Hi.� Shane sat down beside her. �Hi.� Jaclyn inhaled his scent. �So, why do you want to talk me alone?� Jaclyn took a deep breath. �I need to tell you something. And you need to promise me to let me finish before you say something.� Shane raised an eyebrow. �I promise.� �After we broke up I was feeling very depressed. I tried to concentrate on my studies. When I started to faint I thought it was because I demanded too much of my body. The doctor confirmed my deepest fear. I was pregnant.� Shane�s eyes grew big and he opened his mouth to say something. But Jaclyn placed a finger on his lips. �Let me finish please. The thought of an abortion never crossed my mind. I didn�t know what to do. I was pregnant and had no one. Yvonne helped me a lot. She was there when I gave birth to a baby girl.� Jaclyn looked at Shane. He was a little pale. �You mean I�m the father of a child? A little girl?� Jaclyn nodded. �How come? Why didn�t you? When? Where is she now?� �I didn�t tell you because I was upset and angry. You broke up with me because you couldn�t give yourself completely to me. Why should you be able to have time to see your child? I talked it over with Kian and it�s only fair that you get the chance to see her.� �Where is she now? Is she with Kian?� Jaclyn flinched when she heard the hatred in Shane�s voice when he said Kian�s name. �She is here. But please don�t take her away from me.� Jaclyn got up and walked to her babysitter. She lifted her seven-month-old daughter in her arms and walked back to Shane. She placed the child in Shane�s arms. Shane looked at his child. Gwendolyn was a happy child and started smiling. Millions of thoughts were racing through his mind. He could take the child right now and leave. But if he wanted Jaclyn back he should leave the child with her. He than had an excuse to visit her. �What�s her name?� �Gwendolyn.� Shane smiled at Gwendolyn. �Hello there.� Gwendolyn tried to grab his hair. Shane looked at Jaclyn. �I want to visit her when ever I can.� Jaclyn nodded. �I don�t want to take her away from her mother. But I don�t want Kian raising her.� Jaclyn sighed. �Shane, Kian and I moved into a new house. He will be around her.� �Who else knows that I�m a dad?� Jaclyn was confused by the sudden change of subject. �Um, Kian, Yvonne and the rest of the girls.� Shane handed his daughter back to Jaclyn. �I�ll inform the press. You�ll be seeing a lot of me from now on.� He kissed her on the cheek and left the caf�. Jaclyn shook her head. This wasn�t the reaction she had hoped for and she didn�t like the hatred she noticed when Shane talked about Kian.

Part 14

Shane�s announcement a few days later turned the world up side down. Suddenly every magazine wanted an interview. And Ronan had a few questions. Kian was still unaware of what was going on when he opened the door. �Ronan, morning.� Ronan looked at Kian still wearing his pajamas. �Sleeping in today?� Ronan said coldly. Kian rubbed his eyes. �I just woke up.� �Is Jaclyn home?� Kian nodded. He let Ronan in and walked to the bedroom. Jaclyn was feeding Gwendolyn. �Ronan is here to see you.� Jaclyn looked up. �Ronan to see me?� Kian nodded. He crawled back in bed again. �Wake me up when the day is over.� Jaclyn kissed his forehead and grabbed her robe. Gwendolyn had just finished drinking. She placed the girl next to Kian. �Watch Kian while he is sleeping.� She walked to the living room. �Morning Ro. Can I get you a coffee?� Ronan shook his head. �All I want is some answers.� Ronan tossed a few newspapers on the table. Jaclyn picked them up. �My secret child. Shane Westlife tells it all.� Jaclyn looked at Ronan with a shocked look on her face. �He didn�t tell you?� Ronan slowly shook his head. Jaclyn sensed his anger. �I woke up this morning with a dozen reporters on my front lawn.� Ronan said, raising his voice. �And than my wife tells me the baby is such a little darling.� Jaclyn walked to the kitchen to get a little distance between them. She started to make coffee. �I only told Shane a few days ago. I had no idea that he would go to the press before he talked to you.� �It seems the whole world knows but me.� Jaclyn sat down at the kitchen table. �Yvonne helped me with the pregnancy and the birth. You seem to have forgotten that my parents are dead and that I�m an only child. So when Shane left me I had no one left. I was desperate to keep the baby. But I was so scared Shane would take her away from me.� Jaclyn looked at Ronan. �I know I made a mistake. I�m sorry.� Ronan sat down beside her. �I don�t blame you. I was very surprised this morning. I�ve tried to reach Shane but he�s not answering the phone.� Jaclyn rose to get some coffee. �Do you want some coffee now?� Ronan nodded. Jaclyn poured two cups. �I don�t know what Shane will do now. He said that he wants Gwen to stay with me. But he hates Kian. I don�t know why.� �I think Shane doesn�t even know what he will do next.� Jaclyn gave Ronan his coffee. �I just hope it�s nothing foolish.�

Part 15

The five young women had gathered in a small restaurant on the outskirts of Dublin. They had been friends for a few years now. They shared many laughs and tears together. They all had one thing in common. Their boyfriends or husband were famous. Helen raised her glass. �I would like to propose a toast.� The others raised their glasses too. �Here�s to Yvonne who is putting up with Ronan for three years now.� �Cheers.� They all sipped from their champagne. �And a toast to Nicola, who just graduated from college. I still have no clue what she studied all those years but welcome to the real world.� Everyone started laughing. �It�s my turn now.� Yvonne raised her glass. �A toast to Georgina. A new job, a new house. What will be next?� �Cheers.� Georgina raised her glass. �A massive toast to Jaclyn. We missed you last year but it�s good to see you are back with the gang.� �Cheers.� Jaclyn raised her glass with a sly smile on her face. �I would like to toast to Helen. I hereby forbid you to go on holiday without us ever again.� Everyone looked a little confused. �I demand another wedding here in Ireland.� Several jaws dropped on the table. Helen started to blush and showed her wedding ring. �How did you know?� �I heard Mark tell Kian on the phone a few days ago. You did a pretty good job keeping it a secret.� Helen raised her glass. �To all of us.� �To all of us.� They said in unison. They admired the wedding ring and Helen told them about the small wedding Mark and she had on the Virgin Islands. �It was a surprise for me too. Suddenly he stood there with beautiful flowers. And he asked me to marry him. Several hours later I was a married woman.� �So who will marry next?� Yvonne said before she started to eat her pasta. �I think Nicky is about to ask me.� Georgina said. �He�s been acting a little weird. He went shopping without me.� Nicola studied Jaclyn�s face for a second. �When will you and Kian get married. You moved in together after five months. It�s been a while now.� Jaclyn started laughing. �No wedding bells for me.� �Kian better be quick.� Said Yvonne. �I heard Shane dumped Kelsey and is very determined to find a new girl.� Jaclyn narrowed her eyes. �He dumped Kelsey?� Her voice sounded funny. Yvonne nodded. �Yep, she is a goner.�

Part 16

She now knew who Kelsey was. She was the oldest sister of one of her babysitters. She had started to like Kelsey. They would never be friends but still Jaclyn felt sorry for her. Shane had obviously used her. �Why did he do that?� Yvonne sighed. �According to Shane Gwen can�t handle two woman that try to mother over her.� Jaclyn�s eyes grew big. �I mother over Gwendolyn?� She shook her head. �Shane Filan needs to get his fact straight.� Nic started cheering. �Teach the boy.� Jaclyn started laughing. �Why do I get the feeling I�m missing out on something here?� Nic shrugged. �It�s just that dear old Shane is a bit of a little kid. He had a toy, no offence here, and didn�t want it anymore. Now someone else found the toy and is playing with it. But Shane still thinks the toy is his.� Jaclyn blinked a few times. �Nice to know you compare with a toy.� She said with a smile on her face. Suddenly she turned serious. �Maybe the toy still likes the old owner.� The table grew silent. �You mean you still like Shane?� Asked Helen. �I don�t know. When I see him with Gwen my heart almost bursts. But when I see him act so cold towards Kian my head tells me he is a bastard.� Jaclyn looked at them with despair in her eyes. �What am I going to do? I love Kian I do. But Shane and I have a child together. That�s something you can�t easily forget.� No one answered. Finally Yvonne said: �A child is all you and Shane have together. You have Kian�s heart. Treasure it. Make him happy.� Jaclyn knew Yvonne was right but her heart didn�t seem to think so. She wanted to make Kian happy and forget about Shane. But life didn�t always go the way you planned it.

Part 17

Kian was glad to be home again. They had done a small European tour to promote their 3rd album. And he was knackered. He opened the front door and placed his luggage on the floor. �Jaclyn?� No one answered. Kian walked to the living room. Gwendolyn sat on the floor playing with her toys. �Hi gorgeous.� Gwendolyn looked up and started crawling towards him. �Do you know where mummy is?� Gwendolyn just smiled and gave him loads of little baby kisses. He carried her to her room and put her in her bed. �I�m going to find mummy.� He walked to their bedroom. �Jaclyn? Are you there?� He heard a muffled sound coming from the bathroom. He opened the door. Jaclyn was sitting on the floor, staring at something in her hands. �Jac?� She looked up. Her cheeks were tearstained. �Jac, are you okay?� Kian sat down beside here. �I�m pregnant.� She whispered. �Oh honey.� Kian cupped her face. �That�s so wonderful.� �No, it isn�t.� Jaclyn pushed his hands away. �First I have Shane�s child and than yours. What will people think? Who in Westlife will be next?� Jaclyn started crying again. �They won�t think that. All they�ll see is how much we love each other. We created another life.� Kian pulled her in his arms. �It�s going to be okay. They�ll understand.� He softly rocked back and forth to comfort her. Slowly Jaclyn calmed down. �I love you.� He whispered in her ear. Jaclyn touched his cheek. �Will you tell Shane?� Kian nodded. �But not now. I want this to be our secret for awhile.� Jaclyn nodded. �I have to go to the doctors to make sure the test was accurate.� Kian picked up the test Jaclyn had dropped when she pushed him away. �So blue is happy huh?� Jaclyn smiled. �You�ll be a great dad.� �Better than Shane?� He regretted the words the instant they left his mouth. Jaclyn pulled free from his hug and got up. �Having a child is not a competition.� Her voice was filled with pain and tears.

Part 18

Kian followed her into the bedroom. �I�m sorry. I didn�t mean it that way.� Jaclyn spun around. Her eyes were filled with anger. �What way did you mean it?� Kian shrugged. �I�m just jealous.� Jaclyn sat down on the bed. �Why are you jealous?� Kian walked to the window. It was getting foggy outside. �Shane already shares this part of your life. He is the one Gwen says daddy to. It�s just not fair.� Kian looked over his shoulder. �I raise her. I bath her and I put her to sleep. And he gets to be called daddy.� Jaclyn stood up and walked to him. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. �You were there when she first smiled. And you were there when she started crawling and when she started walking.� She kissed his neck. �You were there for her so often. What does it matter how she calls you?� Kian turned around and wrapped his arms around her waist. �I want to have what Shane has. A bond with his child.� Jaclyn rubbed her nose against his. �You will have a bond with this child. This is your child.� Jaclyn placed his hand on her stomach. �This life is yours. She or he will call you daddy.� Kian rubbed her stomach. �I�m being silly right? I mean you love me and I love you. I have no reason to be jealous, do I?� Jaclyn didn�t answer his question. Kian bent his head and kissed her. �Amazing isn�t it? We created a new life. I could get really corny now and say that our love is being handed back to us with this life.� �You are corny now.� Kian smiled. �I love you.� He mumbled before kissing her again. Jaclyn smiled against his lips. �I could stay like this forever.� Kian pushed her towards the bed. �Why can�t we?� �I have a hungry daughter to feed. And you have work to do.� Jaclyn escaped from his kisses. She ran to the door. �If you make it quick we can have an early night.� She winked at him and was gone. Kian sighed. He fell down on the bed and stretched his body. He was going to be a daddy. Within several month there would be a Kian Jr. on this world. His child. Kian smiled. If only time could go a little bit faster.

Part 19
Kian and Jaclyn decided to tell the rest of the band at the launch party of the Irish tour. All the families had gathered at a restaurant. Jaclyn was nervous. She still had fears people would think of her as a slut. Kian held her hand. �Stop fumbling.� Jaclyn looked at him. �I�m just nervous.� Kian gave her a quick kiss. He cleared his throat. �Can I have your attention please?� Everyone stopped talking. His younger brother bounced through the room. Kian lifted him in his arms. �Jaclyn and I have an announcement to make.� Kian looked at Jaclyn with nothing but love in his eyes. �We are pregnant.� It stayed silent for a second and than Nic and Helen squealed as hard as they could. They pulled Jaclyn in a tight hug. �That�s so wonderful.� Yvonne and Georgina joined in the group hug. Mark, Bryan and Nicky congratulated Kian. �Well start saving for those cigars man!� Shane stared at Kian. �Good luck.� He said. Kian�s mother shook her head. �What ever happened to that friendship?� She asked Shane�s mother. �Adulthood, I think.�
Jaclyn excused herself for a second and went to the bar to get a glass of water. The bartender nodded and walked away. The bar was in a secluded area of the restaurant and Jaclyn sat down. She was happy no one was very upset. She had seen the look of disappointment on Shane�s face. �Is this seat taken?� Jaclyn looked up. �Shane!� She started to blush. Shane sat down beside her. �Congratulations.� �Thanks.� Whispered Jaclyn. �You look fantastic.� Jaclyn blushed even more. �Why are you blushing? Never had a compliment before?� Jaclyn lowered her gaze. �Stop it, Shane.� Shane rose from his seat and kneeled down next to her. �I only want to wish you all the best.� The next moment his lips touched her in a searing kiss. Jaclyn gasped and smacked Shane. �How dare you?� She stood up and ran away from the bar. �Fool.� Shane said to him self. �You need to play it easy.� He touched his cheek. Jaclyn had hit him hard. Shane smashed his fist in the cushions lying on the chair. He had been a fool again. He should have made his move sooner. Now she was pregnant with Kian�s child.

Part 20

It was after midnight when Kian and Jaclyn returned home. Gwendolyn was staying over night at the babysitters. �I�m tired. I�m going to take a shower and than go to beat.� Jaclyn kissed Kian�s cheek. �Ok. I�m just going to listen to the tape Mark gave me. He wrote a few songs.� Jaclyn nodded and walked to the bathroom. She was feeling a bit shaky. Shane�s kiss had released some old feelings. Jaclyn undressed and stepped inside the shower cubicle. She took a quick shower and wrapped her body in a big fluffy towel. She looked in the mirror. Her reflection stared back at her with sad eyes. �So many women would wish two guys loved them.� She sighed. She reached for her cleanser when she suddenly felt a sharp pain in her stomach. �Ouch.� Jaclyn took a deep breath and slowly the pain faded away. She grabbed the bottle of cleanser and cleaned her face. She was just about to brush her hair when she felt something warm run down her thigh. Jaclyn looked down and saw blood. �Oh god. Kian!� She started screaming and crying at the same time. She could hear Kian�s footsteps racing to the bathroom. He threw the door open and looked at her. �I�m bleeding. Something�s wrong with the baby.� Kian saw the trickle of blood running down her leg. He was at her side in a second. He grabbed her bathrobe and wrapped it around her. Than he scooped her in his arms. �Don�t worry. I�ll get you to a hospital.� Kian carried her to the car. Jaclyn was softly sobbing in his arms. He lay her down on the back seat and got it. He broke several speed limits to get to the hospital in time. Jaclyn was immediately taken away when he carried her inside. Kian sank down in one of the plastic hospital seats. He buried his head in his hands and waited.
After a few hours a young doctor patted him on the shoulder. Kian looked up. �Jaclyn? Is she? The baby?� The doctor sat beside him. �Your girlfriend had a miscarriage. She lost a lot of blood. We needed to operate her to save her life.� All color drained from Kian�s face. �A miscarriage? But we had a check up the other day and everything was fine.� �We don�t know what caused it. We are waiting for test results.� The man placed a comforting hand on Kian�s shoulder. �You can see her in a few minutes. You can use the phone down the hall if you want to inform family members.� Kian nodded. �Thank you.� The doctor got up and walked away. Kian was alone with his thoughts. His dream of being a father was shattered within seconds. He managed to muffle one sob with his hands but soon emotions got control of him.

Part 21

Kian was acting on automatic pilot. He had just phoned his parents. He lifted the phone of the cradle again and dialed a number. It rang a few times before he heard a sleepy hello. �Ro?� �Kian? Do you have any idea how late it is?� Kian ignored him. �Can I speak with Yvonne please?� �Why?� �Just put Yvonne on the phone.� Whispered Kian. �Hang on.� Kian waited. �Hello?� �Yvonne?� �Kian, what�s wrong? Why are you calling so late?� Kian started crying again. �She lost the baby. I�m in the hospital.� �Oh god.� Kian barely heard Yvonne talking to him. �I�m coming right over.� Kian nodded.
It must have been a weird sight. Kian held on to the phone as if was the only thing that kept him sane. Ronan had hung up minutes before but somehow Kian found the dialing tone comforting. He startled when Yvonne took receiver out of his hand. Kian stared at her like she was a stranger. Yvonne wrapped an arm around him and guided him back to the cold and uncomfortable plastic seats. �What did the doctor tell you? Have you seen a doctor?� Kian nodded. �She had a miscarriage. They don�t know why. They barely managed to save her life.� Yvonne held him tight as he started crying again. She rubbed his back until he calmed down a little. �Did she complain about stomach ache before?� Kian shook his head. �She was tired and wanted to take a shower. I was listening to the tape Mark gave me when I suddenly heard her scream. I ran to the bathroom and there was blood streaming down her leg. I was so scared. I thought I was going to loose her.� Did the doctor say you could see her? Shall I ask for her room number?� Kian nodded. Yvonne walked to the nurses station and was given the room number Jaclyn was in now.

Part 22

Kian got cold feet right before he went inside. �I can�t do this. She must blame me. She will hate me.� Yvonne looked at Kian. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was as pale as his white shirt. �Do you want me to go in first?� Kian nodded. Yvonne gave him a comforting kiss on the cheek and went inside. Jaclyn was lying in a bed with her back towards the door. Yvonne walked round the bed. Jaclyn was awake. �Hey sweetie.� Jaclyn looked at Yvonne. �What are you doing here?� She asked surprised. �Where is Kian?� �Kian is outside. He called me.� Jaclyn looked at her hand. �How are you feeling sweetie.� Jaclyn covered her face with her hands and started crying. Yvonne sat down on the bed and pulled the sobbing girl in her arms. �Shh. Shh.� �I feel so bad.� Hiccuped Jaclyn in between sobs. �Don�t honey. It�s not your fault.� �It is.� Jaclyn raised her head. �It�s all my fault. Shane kissed me this evening and I enjoyed it. It felt just like the old times and look how I�m being punished.� Jaclyn started to rock back and forth. �I was angry when he kissed me but later that was the only thing I could think about.� Jaclyn looked Yvonne straight in the eyes. �I still love Shane.�

Kian slowly let go of the door. He had finally gathered enough courage to go inside when he heard what Jaclyn said. He ran his hand through his hair. He had not only lost his child but his girlfriend too. Tears burned in his eyes but he didn�t want to cry. He staggered to the phone. He picked up the phone and dialed a number he hadn�t ringed in months. This time no one answered but he got the answer machine. Kian took a deep breath. �Well Shane, congratulations. You won. I can�t fight you anymore. I tried to erase the feelings she had. But I failed. Jaclyn is yours.� Suddenly someone picked up. �I never knew you would give up so easily.� Kian bit his lip. �She still loves you. She lost the only thing that attached me to her tonight.� All Kian heard was Shane�s soft breathing. �You mean?� �She had a miscarriage.� �Oh god. I�m sorry Kian. I never�� Don�t say it. She needs you right now.� �What about you?� Kian laughed harshly. �I�ll get over it. After all I can�t loose what I never had.� Kian heard Shane walk around. �I�m sorry man.� �Just get here.� Kian hung up. He rested his head against the cold tiles. He slowly sank to the ground. He wrapped his arms around his knees and buried his head in his arms. Slowly sobs shook his body. Several people passed him but no one dared to touch him or even ask him if he was ok.

Part 23
Jaclyn expected Kian to enter the room when the door opened and was very surprised when she saw Shane. �Shane? What? Where�s?� �Kian is outside. He called me.� Jaclyn slowly sat up straight. She wrinkled her nose in pain. �Are you ok?� Shane rushed to her side. �I�m fine.� Snapped Jaclyn. Shane backed away. �I�m sorry. Please sit down and tell me why Kian would call you?� Shane sat down on the chair beside the bed. �He called me and said that he couldn�t fight me anymore. That you still loved him and that he couldn�t loose what he never had.� Jaclyn blinked. �He told you that?� Shane nodded. �Why would he have to fight you?� Suddenly the pieces of the puzzle fell on their places. �You! You arrogant bastard.� Jaclyn smacked Shane on his arm. �Now I know why Kian was so jealous.� Shane looked at her innocently. �Jealous?� He echoed. �He was so afraid you would get me back.� Jaclyn raised her hands in frustration. �Did he have reason to?� �Reason to what?� �To be afraid.� �I don�t know.� Whispered Jaclyn. She looked at Shane with tears in her eyes. �I was pregnant with his child.� Jaclyn wiped away her tears. �I hated you with all my heart. But as much as I hated I never stopped loving you.� Shane took her trembling hand in his. �Jaclyn, I was a fool when I left. It was stupid of me to chase one dream by letting the other go. And than I was a fool again to let Kian.� Jaclyn placed a finger on his lips. �Before you go on I want you to know I need time. My body needs to heal and I need to heal.� Shane nodded. �I need to talk to Kian. I have to explain things to him.� Jaclyn bent forward and hugged Shane. �But most of all I need sleep.� Shane chuckled. �It�s been quite a night.� Jaclyn laid back on the bed. �Talk to Kian. Try to be friends with him again.� Shane kissed the top of her head. �Sleep well.� He walked to the door. �Shane?� He turned around. �Next time hide the toy better so others can�t play with it.� With the image of his confused face Jaclyn feel asleep.

Epilogue

�I want to propose a toast.� Helen stood up and placed the glass on her very pregnant stomach. Everyone started laughing. �Things have changed over the years. Good things and bad things have happened.� Helen stared at the friends sitting at the table. �Nic and Bryan, let me start with you. You got married the proper way. And thank god you made an honest woman out of her, Bryan.� Bryan winked at Helen as he lifted his two-year-old son in his arms. Helen raised her glass and sat down. Yvonne rose to her feet. 'I want to propose a toast to Helen.� Mark cleared his throat. �And off course Mark. Although we still haven�t forgiven you for marrying her on that Island.� Again the room was filled with laughter. �You two waited a while but you made up for lost time. Who would have thought that Mark was able to produce twins? Cheers guys.� Mark�s jaw fell to the ground. �Twins?� He stuttered. Helen gave him a quick kiss on the nose. �Surprise daddy-to-be.� Jaclyn stood up as Yvonne sat down. �It�s my turn to toast to Yvonne and Ronan. Love like yours is one of a kind. But can you please stop having kids? You are driving us mad.� Ronan shrugged. �I always wanted a big family.� He said with a smile. �Six is big enough for us.� Jaclyn raised her glass and sat down. Georgina remained seated. �I want to propose to the newly weds.� Everyone raised his or her glasses. �Kian, you keep surprising us. Never stop doing that. I hope you and your wife have a long and happy life.� Kian looked at his wife. �To Kian and Rachel.� Kian softly kissed Rachel. He grabbed his glass. �I know only the girls can do the toasts but I would like to propose one. This band had its ups and downs. We can all remember the time when Jaclyn and I were together. Who will ever forget Shane kidnapping her from the hospital? I still thank him every day. I wouldn�t have met Rachel if he hadn�t done that.� Kian looked at Shane. �Our friendship has been through a lot but as your friend I�ll tell you this. Marry the damn woman, you fool.� Shane started laughing. Jaclyn raised her glass and took a sip. Suddenly her eyes grew big. �Oh my god.� She placed her glass down again. She turned to Shane only to see he wasn�t sitting beside her anymore. �Shane?� �Right here.� She turned around and saw him down on one knee. �Jaclyn.� He took her hand. �Will you do the honor to marry this fool?� Jaclyn nodded. She had already seen the diamond ring in her glass. �I�ll marry you, you fool.� Shane rose to his feet and kissed. �I�ll promise I�ll never be a fool again.� And he sealed the promise with a kiss.