| My Love |
| By Jayne |
| There we were, me and Kian. Back where we had first met five years ago. I was only 15 just a baby, he'd brought me back to life after my dad had killed himself because my mum left us for some student she tutored. Kian was the only guy I ever loved in the way I did. But suddenly as I looked out over the bow of the boat I felt terrified, terrified that everything was going to go wrong for us. How was Kian any different? How did I know he wouldn't go and leave me like everyone else who'd said they loved me like my mum, like my dad! Kian always knew when there was something wrong, this was one of the things I loved about him. He asked what was bothering me and I told him. He said he didnt want to leave me, he cried and cried but I told him it was best for both of us, Love didn't exsist and we were better off without each other. He kissed me then walked away crying down to the undercarriage of the boat. I expected to see him when we docked in Dublin but he wasn't around. Months passed and seeing Kian on every second magazine cover and every TV show around hurt like hell. But I had to deal with it. About eight months after our split Westlife's tour came to Glasgow where I was living these days. I never thought I'd see Westlife or Kian while they were here so I just carried on as normal. But one night when I was at a seedy bar with my mates I saw Mark, he came over for a chat. I almost died!!. We were quite close when Ki and I were going out. He told me about how Kian had gone home because he couldnt handle being in the city I lived. He said that Kian was devastated that he hardly ate or went out anymore. We talked for hours about all the mad stuff we had done, westlife and I....Kian and I. It was then I realised that I had been so wrong about Kian. I told Mark this but he said that though Kian loved me he'd never have me back. I was a bit drunk at this point and cried into Mark's arms, before I knew it we were kssing and the next thing I remember is waking up next to him in his hotel room...with no clothes on!!What had I done? Mark apologised for taking advantage and promised to help get Kian to come to Glasgow. He did that for me, he told Kian I was in France for a college thing. I waited in the foyer of the hotel for Kian to come in, I was so scared and nervous and excited. I waited for about half an hour for him in the foyer and then he came. He looked shattered, he didnt look like the same Kian. I walked up to him slowly and said: "Don't talk, don't shout, just listen to me. I'm so sorry Ki, I'm messed up. That day was five years to the day we met, five years to the day my dad had been buried. I was just so scared and thought that you were going to leve me and I guess I'm just so...so...what I'm trying to say is that....' Kian butted in "shut up Jaz(that was his nickname for me)," he grabbed me and kissed me so softly, the way he had done since that first day we met on the boat, the day that I had run away from the hassels of having no family, the day I'd run away from hatred and straight into love, my love Kian. |