| "Traffic Jam" 11/5/00 Dewey's trip back home involves a friendly farmer woman, a robber, field-workers, a limo, jail, and a motorcycle gang. The family never knows that he's missing because they get stuck in a huge traffic jam on their way home from the water park after narrowly being the cause of it. Hal is obsessed with how close he came to death. Lois is incredibly frustrated that there's nothing she can do to make the car accident get cleaned up faster. Lois releases a dog trapped in a hot car with the windows closed that turns out to vicious. Reese leads an attack on an ice-cream truck when the ice-cream man won't sell any of his wares. Malcolm falls for a girl that he meets in the traffic jam, but then finds out she is from Canada. Francis tries to prove that he can eat 100 pink sugar Quacks (think Peeps). "Halloween Approximately" 11/8/00 The show begins with a rotten food eating contest, the "game that has no winners." Francis has missed the greatest holiday of them all, Halloween. But when he comes home he decides it must be celebrated anyway. Celebration involves a giant slingshot and various projectiles. Their first target is Malcolm's nerd friends, thereafter we see a balloons filled with liquid cheese, shaving cream, muck, and the regular assortment of flying chickens and egg assaults. But the nerds strike back with an amazingly accurate slingshot of their own. While all this is happening Hal and Lois steal a hot-rod decide to run away to Mexico under the pseudonyms Raoul and Consueala. But once they've relived their early years to its natural climax they realize they can't run away, so they dump the evidence in a lake and walk home. "Lois' Birthday" 11/12/00 Lois is feeling under-appreciated. She gives the boys thirty dollars to buy her something. What Lois gets is a eyeglass repair kit, throat lozenges and a dirt bike magazine. The boys get twenty dollars of candy. After a few plot twists they end up serenading her with their love and kicking clown butt. Meantime, Francis meets and gorgeous Amaani but he is too occupied with his mother to pay much attention to her. When he jumps into the clown milieu she walks. "Dinner Out" 11/18/00 The family goes out to dinner with Stevie's family, they scare them, then convert them. Or as Malcolm put it, "Stevie beat the crap out of Reese, his dad got drunk, and his mom's gone totally psycho. Oh my god, we're contagious!" At the Marlin Academy, Francis invites in the local girls that have been standing at the gates for six months. They turn the place upside down. "Casino" 11/19/00 All kinds of things get blown up! In further news, Francis learns how to get free flights by pretending to be a vulnerable 18 y.o. girl. We see Hal and Malcolm grovel to a couple 'manly men.' The plot is not so important in this episode, it's all about the gags. The basic premise is that the family goes on a weekend excursion to a casino on an indian reservation. There the men wander on to a artillery range and things blow up. Francis sneaks home but has no one to play with. "Convention" 11/22/00 Hal and Lois leave town for two days to go to a convention. Hal lets loose is long-seated anger at an old co-worker and gets into numerous fist fights. Reese, Malcolm and Dewey plan to torture their babysitter until they see the beautiful teenaged Patty, at which point they start competing to get in her good graces. Dewey manages to be adorable and outsmart his older brothers. Meanwhile, Patty revisits an old crush on Francis from when she used to be fat, and Francis turns down her invitation over the phone because he remembers her as the ugly girl with a crush on him. "Robbery" 11/26/00 When the drug store is held up, Lois has to save new assistant manager Craig's butt. Fearing for his life, Craig admits his love to Lois who takes it as her duty to crush his hopes of ever being with her. Craig snaps and performs heroically in the face of danger. Hal brings home an old armoire he found in the trash as an anniversary present for Lois, but he and the boys spend the evening fighting off the many bats that come flying out of it and into the house. Francis tries to get his friend Finley's mind off of the fact that his girlfriend dumped by taking him to a strip club, a cock fight and getting him arrested. "Therapy" 11/29/00 Malcolm fakes a mental breakdown to get out of the embarassing Krelboyne Medieval Fair. Just as he's faking a recovery so that he can attend a cool class field trip, Reese catches on to the scam and decides to give it a try himself. Reese's actions prompt the school counselor to visit the boys' home, but despite Malcolm's fears of retribution from his mother, the visit actually prompts a bonding moment between Lois and Malcolm. Lois cleans out a disaster of a closet in the house and discovers a second bathroom. In the closet, Hal finds an old game called "Skittles" and Dewey is instantly good at it. Hal wants to show off Dewey's skills to a friend, but Dewey decides he's bored with it and gives up what Hal thinks is the boy's calling. Francis has laundry duty at Marlin Academy, and everyone is impressed with their softer cleaner clothes. When Francis gets gifts and presents from his classmates, he gets greedy and starts asking exorbitant fees for favors. Another cadet gets pissed off and puts a red shirt in with a load of whites, getting Francis in trouble with all of his fellow cadets. "High School Play" 12/10/00 Malcolm gets a role in the high school play and is so captivated by high school gossip that he forgets his lines. Lois discovers the joys of massage. Hal and Dewey build a society of model buildings in the living room. Francis tries to show his individualism at school when the commandant cracks down on personal belongings. "The Bully" 12/17/00 Reese is suddenly the school hero when he joins the wrestling team, but after he gets thrashed by a girl wrestler, he misses that feeling of pride. He decides to give up being the school bully and instead tries to do many misguided good deeds. The school kids are excited to be out from under the reign of Reese, but Malcolm soon learns that not everyone appreciates his sarcastic comments all the time, and now that his brother is no longer there no protect him, everyone wants to beat up Malcolm because he hurt their feelings. Just as Reese is about to join a feel-good cult, the Krelboynes beg him to regain his crown as school bully because lots of little bullies are causing anarchy. Francis, scared of the school tradition of having every hair shaved from his body on his birthday, begs his parents to fly him home, but they can't afford it. Finally, he thinks he has an out when he injures his hand and the nurse takes pity on him and invites him over to her apartment for birthday cake. Lois and Hal, feeling guilty for not being able to fly Francis home, send him a birthday basket of cookies, which reveals to all of Francis's fellow cadets what he's been trying to hide: it's his birthday. Francis ends up going on his hot nurse date with absolutely no hair. "Old Mrs. Old" 1/7/01 Dewey starts carrying a purse to school. Francis's friend Richie joins him at military school. Malcolm becomes a slave to an old woman in the neighborhood. "Krelboyne Girl" 1/14/01 There's a new girl in the Krelboyne class. Malcolm learns that his dull pencils were part of an elaborate yet unknown hazing. Cynthia is a fresh recruit from New York, and she earns Malcolm's affections with wit and Israeli ass whoopin' moves. But she's weird, she picks ear wax while flirting. Of course, Malcolm throws bricks through windows, so they're a match. Meanwhile Dewey is wearing a home made hazmat suit killing all the home's scary germs, because he doesn't want to lose his eyes. And, Francis, he hasn't done anything worse than usual, but Hal lies for him. Hal feels guilty. Francis must pay. One hopes this means Francis will get over his mother, his future therapist has to catch some kind of break. "New Neighbors" 1/21/01 In this sassy episode, the presence of new next-door neighbors prompts Malcolm's family to make friends quick. That's because, according to Hal, "it doesn't hurt to have allies on the block. Especially allies with a pool."Some allies. These neighbors outdo Malcolm's clan in sheer nuttiness. At a barbecue get-together, the newcomers' eldest son, Josh (Michael Welch), terrifies Dewey, then blurts out that Malcolm (Frankie Muniz) spit on his hamburger and is "staring at my mom's chest." On top of that, Josh's 4-year-old sister takes to biting Reese. A feud ensues, but Reese believes "that's just what [we] need. Having a common enemy will unite us." "Hal Quits" 2/04/01 There's a wake-up call for Hal (Bryan Cranston) and a reality check for Francis (Christopher Kennedy Masterson) in this droll episode. One storyline finds Hal so depressed by his poor showing at a Dads' Career Day for Dewey's class that he quits his job to live out his dream as a Jackson Pollock-styled artist. In a counterpoint plot, Francis hires on during spring break at the Lucky Aide, where he's counting cotton swabs, inventorying malt balls and, worst of all, "working for a moron." "Of course you are, honey," sympathizes Lois. "Your boss is an idiot, your co-workers are incompetent, and you're unappreciated. Welcome to the working world." "The Grandparents" 2/11/01 Leachman and Loggia portray Lois's visiting mom and dad. He's a blustery curmudgeon who treats Reese like a prince; she's an ornery eccentric who bullies Malcolm. And how does Dewey fare? His dread of both grandparents is revealed in flashbacks, including the time Grandpa dropped him in the nursery. As the plot unfolds, the grandparents offer to buy Hal and Lois a new refrigerator but renege on the deal once the fridge is in place. The resulting conflict is ultimately resolved---with a bang. "Traffic Ticket" 2/18/01 A traffic ticket vexes Lois, who's sure she got it for not giving preferential treatment to a cop (Sam McMurray) at the Lucky Aide store. "Surgery" 2/25/01 A hospital stay unsettles Malcolm, who's stuck in a kids' ward with what may be appendicitis. At military school, Francis leads a hunger strike. "Reese Cooks" 3/4/01 A cooking class energizes Reese; a planned party irks Malcolm, whose brutal honesty hurts the hostess, Krelboyne Cynthia "Tutoring Reese" 3/11/01 Malcolm and the Krelboynes help Reese cheat on a test, but the teacher flunks him without even reading the exam. "Bowling" 4/1/01 The split-screen device is cleverly used to tell interwoven stories about the misadventures of Malcolm and Reese on separate trips to a bowling alley with Lois and Hal. In one excursion, Lois urges on the increasingly fumbling and agitated Malcolm, who winds up rolling a child's ball that has "Connie" stenciled on it. In the other plot, Hal's excitedly---and obsessively---on his way to a perfect game while Reese pulls a dumb stunt that ticks off a really big teenager. And there's a cute girl who figures in both storylines and is driving the bowling brothers gaga. Mini Bike 4/29/01 Lois forbids the boys to ride a motorbike they found, but Reese disobeys and breaks a leg. Carnival 5/6/01 Evacuation 5/13/01 Malcolm's family and scores of others are forced to relocate to a school gym because of a toxic-chemical spill caused by a derailed train. Seems it ran over an old couch that fell off Hal's car on his way to the dump. Amid the chaos, resourcefulness pays off for Dewey, who enlists sympathy by pretending his parents were killed in an enveloping chemical cloud; and for Reese, who schemes to make money off the calamity. As the rascal puts it, "When people are miserable and suffering, it brings out the best in me." Flashback 5/20/01 This freewheeling close to the series' second season recalls the tumultuous births and early years of the four rambunctious sons of Lois (and Hal. At the outset, Lois tells her hubby that she might be pregnant again. "We're not ready for this," ruffled Hal replies. "When have we ever been ready?" Lois snaps back. She's right. Take, for example, a flashback to the couple's wedding: an 11-hour ceremony during which a very pregnant Lois goes into labor. And then there's the birth of the obstreperous Reese, for which the delivering doctor isn't ready. "My God!" the physician exclaims. "He kicked me in the nose!" |