A Christmas story:
As all start out, "T'was the Night Before Christmas".
But t'was not a usual night before Christmas. No, Santa was behind schedule.
He had left the sled out and it was now covered by an inch of ice thanks to the first winter storm of the season. (Not forecast by the National Weather Service since their satellites were inoperative due to a Y2K problem, or so they said. Santa thought they were all just taking extended sick leave before the beginning of the new year so they wouldn't loose it.)
The Consumer Protection Agency had just today, and by registered mail, notified him that his bag was a danger to small children who might be caught-up in the drawstring.
Hurrying to his sled, he had tripped over some raindeer fermets, and soiled his only red suit. (He made a mental note, to be prepared to hear from the EPA regarding waste disposal violations and contamination of the tundra.)
If that wasn't enough, the Kebler elves were picketing and insisting that his elves join their union, so he had to make the many trips between the house and sled alone.
Still, this year he had much to be thankful for, the Department of Justice had been conciliatory in their discrimination lawsuit and had only imposed a "small" fine. (He thought this was a pun as it pertained to his elves, until he found the White House was making an election year issue of it through the Department of Welfare and Special Services (or what ever)).
Finally the sled was loaded, and after rounding up Rudolph and the rest he decided to return to the house for one last cup of coffee. He noted in passing the harnessed deer, that Rudolph's nose was particularily bright no doubt because he had been sampling the eggnog with relish. (All he needed now was for MADD to shut down his operation until Rudolph's head cleared.)
Back in the house, Santa discovered the missus had already gone to bed, so he made a fresh pot of coffee and sat before the fireplace to settle his jangled nerves. He wished he had paid more attention to all those TV ads that said; "ask your doctor". He knew it was going to be a "long winter's night, &c."
There was a rap on the door and Santa jumped with such a start that he spilled coffee all over the new rug. It was the tiny Christmas Angel.
She asked, "Where do you want me to put the Christmas tree?"
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And that boys and girls, is how we came to have an Angel atop our tree.
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Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!!!
joe w ****
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