Which treats of what further happenings befell our valorous knight and trusted squire as they sought refuge from heaven's wrath. Be advised that the discovery of yet another tale of our most noble and gracious knight-errant and man-servant has caused much anguish among those who keep the book-stalls for the benefit of knaves who know not how to write but instead, how to promote. The paper which is about to be revealed concerns gentlemen (and gentlewomen if there be such a term to describe those who sound not like fish-mongers but instead have voices so dripping of honey that one is lulled into belief that they have only one mission in life and that is to serve their masters.) Now as it is written, Don Quixote de la Mancha and his squire, Sancho Panza arose early on the September morn so that they might find a suitable adventure to fulfill the boon assigned by the fair maiden Quixella. (If you remember not Quixella, I hasten to tell you that you must now read the various translations of Miquel Cervantes history of our most famous knight-errant, as well as the true Spanish rendition, then proceeding to the Four Books of the Virtuous Knight Amadis of Gaul so recorded by Garci Ordonez de Montalvo. Being unable after this exhaustive search to find mention of Dame Quixella, dear reader, you must come to conclude that perchance this is a fable, not unlike others within the reaches of historians and poets, that have been written concerning the happenings that befell in such a short period of time, Sancho Panza, for this mostly concerns his misfortunes.)
One of the discovered advantages of leaving early and quietly from the castles was the unlikely challenge to the Knight and his Squire by those who being so unworthy, attempt to delay their exit. With the gall of a diseased liver they demand recompense for lodging, so ill provided. Thus we see our knight and Sancho, quietly departing by the door provided for those who seek to relieve themselves of burdens of the bowels. Having passed well away from the castle with Rozinante and Amadis in tow, the saddle was made secure to Rozinante's narrow and not too plump back and likewise the wallet in which Sancho had packed with food from the past-night's table (Some I might add, rapidly reaching a state of repair that would soon require it being offered to the buzzards that circled overhead as depicted in the paintings of the great artist, Salvador Dali.)
Now well mounted, fully encumbered with lance, target, spurs, helmet (so called head-piece and beaver which in kindness must be admitted to have looked not unlike a bowl intended for the hands of a barber who preformed services of a physician in later days.) and his once shiny armor, the hero of this and other histories called for his squire to mount so that they could be off before the noon-day sun caught them in the open plain. Sancho ever mindful that a long trip awaited them, sought to add fertilize to plants along the way but was in distress that no soft leaves of acorn bearing trees were available but only course stemmed grass that served the function not too well. Complete in his mission, the squire mounted his patient ass and as history records followed a respectful ten paces or so behind, dependent upon the wishes of Amadis who having missed his morning issue of corn, felt compelled to accept what was easily available along the well worn path.
It is not recorded how much of the day passed, but Sancho grew hungry, his bones weary and his ass tired. Beseeching his master, he asked, "Where does this path lead and what is our purpose?" "Silence, dolt." commanded Don Quixote, "I shall speak to you of our mission when it is disclosed to me, the most catholic Christian in all of Spain. I await God's instructions. Ride on in silence, you interfere with my communications with those on High."
But Sancho was not to be quieted for he saw on the horizon a gathering storm, and he answered, "May the Gods speak to you in their time, it behooves us to seek shelter as my ass is tired and wants not to be wetted by the wrath of I know not what Gods. For I am a humble fellow lacking in education, being unable to read great books or speak with the authority of those educated beyond their intelligence, but by the knowledge imparted within me by my father and his father before him, I do know that the approaching storm offers us no pleasures and methinks a possible disaster. If it please my master, may we seek shelter in that small gathering of cork trees."
"Sancho, while you are truly ignorant, I shall appease your lazy soul this once and we shall accept the welcome of the shade, for I must tend to a wearisome boil that arises from where the metal you should have attended has seen fit to cause me much discomfort." so said Don Quixote. Rozinante seeing that he would soon be relieved of his burden, for once this morning stepped lively, and they were soon in the cover of two trees that stood alone in the plain.
As was his due, Sancho dismounted his ass, and assisted our most valorous knight in removing himself from Rozinante's back. It is recorded that while the weight of Don Quixote was not great, when to it was added the lance, target, spurs, helmet, armor and assorted other gear that the great Don felt necessary to accompany him so that he be ever-ready for battle, and it is supposed that the cinch that should hold the saddle firmly in place perhaps loosened as Rozinante having learned that by blowing up his stomach like a puffer-fish when the saddle was first attached, he could be in more comfort once the cinch was tied and he had relaxed his gut. What ever the reason that may be given, the ground rose up to meet the knight as he suspended his weight from a single stirrup. The saddle remained on Rozinante, but instead of on his back, it now was as a girdle between his front and hind legs. Unaccustomed to this placement and the loud and startling sound of squire, knight and armor descending to the plain, Rozinante did what only a horse accustomed to battle did, he retreated immediately from the fray and stopped only when it was apparent that no one had concern for his predicament. Loyal mount that he was, he stood attentively, although it is suggested that finding the grass lush, refreshed himself and awaited the next adventure.
Returning to Sancho and his misfortune, we find that he suffered the most from this encounter with our knight. It is know that armor is intended to protect that body within and do damage to that which is without. This is a fact. Don Quixote while much confused by his departure from the back of his faithful horse of battle and his sudden arrival atop Sancho, was pleased to note that his squire had arranged to place his body between the ground and our courageous knight, thus lessening the fall. "Many thanks to God and thee for saving me from such a dangerous dismount. But arise quickly my friend for you must now assist me in removing my raiments of war. And bring forth the oil and pumice stone so that you can remove the vestiges of rust that are about to appear." spoke Don Quixote.
"Methinks it better to seek shelter from the storm and address other matters latter, " so said Sancho. And as if to give emphasis to his words the heavens opened and a great rain began to fall. The coat of mail or what ever you choose to call the battle gear of Don Quixote was removed and hung carefully from a near branch to keep the ground moisture away from so precious and necessary a possession. Sancho hobbled his good ass, Amadis, and found shelter in a rotten space within the near oak.
Quickly, the storm intensified but this did not disturb Sancho who having secreted a skin of wine along with goat cheese and stale bread from the past evening meal, made haste to cause the scant offerings to disappear lest he be called upon to share with his master. With full stomach, a pleasant cool breeze and a wind that carried away any suggestion of the body odors that often accompany a weary horse (or ass) back traveler, Sancho was soon fast asleep. Likewise, while he would claim otherwise if asked, our hero's thoughts drifted to great adventures and in his mind he found himself astride the mighty Rozinante with a very pretty maiden of no more than 18 years across his saddle as they escaped from a terror that can not be described. These and other thoughts occupied his mind.
Now as all was at peace, it comes as a shock to the reader as well as Sancho, Don Quixote, Amadis and Rozinante that a mighty bolt of lightening descended at that moment from the heavens and as it is known by Merlin and others that lightening seeks a pathway to better strike the ground, it chose the hanging vestments of Don Quixote as its target. Being so close to such a mighty blow, the flash and discharge of sound woke Sancho as nothing in his past life had done.
Looking to the place where the armor had once hung, Sancho saw only the head piece and chest protector still suspended. On the ground lay much of the rest including the lance, sword, mantle, leggings and other pieces to numerous to mention for they were widely spread over the area. Simple Sancho Panza thought only of his master and how to serve him. He perceived that he was suspended from the tree branch still in his armor and it occurred to him that if he could reunite the pieces of the armor (in which he was convinced that parts of our valorous knight still remained) he could perhaps revive his precious departed master.
He gathered up the near piece, the left legging and turning saw an apparition that stilled his blood. There under the tree from which he had just slept, was a creature the likes of which had never before been described. Naked from bald head to twisted toes. Tall but bent, bearded with sparse twisted facial hairs about the mouth, skinny with knobby knees, bowlegged, pigeon-toed, spavined, sunburned on the bare pate, eyes somewhat unfocused but surely seeking him out was either a snallygaster, a messenger of the Devil or perhaps the Devil himself. This strange creature of the depths of the earth was crying out in a voice and with words totally unintelligible to our man-servant.
Now the naked necromancer, for that is the collective term for evils unknown, had grasped what appeared to be a weapon and came charging forth. Sancho although slow in most processes of thought did only what the most loyal of squires would do under the circumstances, he chose not to fight in order to serve his master better at a later time, that is to say, he ran. In passing his ass, Sancho grabbed the halter desiring to save not only himself but his most prized possession. But the ass with his feet firmly planted refused to budge. Thus it is recorded of what Sancho saw and attempted to do, now let us turn our attention to Don Quixote de la Mancha.
Awakened from his thought by he knew not what, he saw in the darkened afternoon, a thief attempting to not only steal away with Sancho's ass, but part of his knightly armor as well. Giving no thought to his own personal safety which he as the gentle reader has discovered was his way, our knight-errant grasp up what was easily available, the bridle of Rozinante and rushed toward the escaping thief. Nearing the evil creature who he now saw as not a thief but a necromancer intent on preventing him from fulfilling his latest boon, he called out in loud voice so that all might hear, "Whatever evil substance ye be, whether flying through the air, on foot or horseback, ye shall not pass this way again. Be it known that I, Don Quixote de la Mancha, knight-errant, stays here to assess and maintain that the nymphs who inhabit these groves and meadows surpass, in beauty and courteous disposition, all those in the universe, setting aside the sovereign of my soul, the lady Dulcinea del Toboso. He that dares uphold the contrary let him appear. And having made their presence known, prepare themselves, gird up their loins for I, Don Quixote, am prepared to remove your unworthy being from this our great Country, Espanola."
These words were quite unclear to our humble servant, Sancho, who continued to struggle with his ass who now began to bray. Sancho began to add voice to the symphony as well, at first pleading with his ass, then in bravado saying, "I am Sancho Panza, squire to the most valorous knight-errant who ever lived and so lives. I have within my hand part of his body and soul. I will defend Don Quixote de la Mancha from all evils and place my wanton self between him and the Devil who I now know you to be."
In a circle the battle raged. Sancho holding firm to the halter of his ass, Quixote swinging wildly with the leathers of Rozinante's bridle, Amadis resisting all attempts to be moved. It continued. Don Quixote lashed out with the leathers and cried; "stop evil one who eats small children, cripples persons of age, deprives young maidens of their flowery youth, diverts knight-errants from fulfilling boons and cast evil spells on the beautiful Dulcinea rendering her no more beautiful than the common keepers of swine." He firmly believed that the apparition before him was a necromancer intent on depriving him of his knighthood..
While Sancho, seeing the naked warrior, imagined to hold mace, sword, fire-arm, bludgeon and cat-o-nine tails in hand, pursuing him, he attempted to gather up his precious knight-errant (or parts thereof) and faithful ass and flee but to no avail.
All the time, rain continued to cascade down, Rozinante standing with head down, facing the storm, rain cascading from his back and highlighting the gaps between his weary rib bones, was indifferent to the chase, having seen in his short life time as a most famous steed of Don Quixote de la Mancha much more of interest than the babbling of fools wearing a path about the trees.
Sancho while once only misted with the rain that fell as he was secure in a space beneath the cork tree now became drenched, in the mud of his own creation, he more often than not fell, cursing the gods of Thor, and all else that would listen, he bemoaned the loss of one of his boots, the other filling with mud and water as he struggled to escape.
The Don on the other hand seeing that victory was in sight and that this adventure would surely raise his esteem in the eyes of the beautiful elusive Dulcinea del Toboso and the gentle reader of his historic trials; raised his voice even higher, proclaiming, "Sancho, friend, squire, governor-to-be, I am here to revenge your dear departed soul. I declare to the necromancer that has caused you flight that I, Don Quixote de la Mancha, Knight of the Rueful Countenance, am he for whom dangers, great exploits, and valorous achievements are reserved. I am destined to revive the order of the round table; that of the twelve peers of France and the nine worthies, and to obliterate the memory of the Platirs, the Tablantes, Olivantes, and Tirantes, Knights of the Sun, and the Belianises, with the whole tribe of the famous knights-errants of times past. Necromancer, I beseech you, loosen you grasp on good Amadis. Face me you black hearted, bloodless, evil of the night and I will extract fair measure from your hide."
The battle almost won, in the final circle about the firmly planted feet of Amadis, Quixote raised his chosen weapon for a final crashing down on the vanquished foe, but alas, as is almost everywhere known, the long lines of Rozinante's bridle became intertwined, I know now how, either in the low-hanging branches of the mighty tree, or methinks, perhaps underfoot, in either case, our knight-errant found himself thrown, as if by some mighty force that evil necromancers possess, at the base of said tree. The sudden and painful assault on the tree instead of on the thief he so actively pursued was with his unhelmeted pate which bore the worst of collision.
Such was the end of the battle so quickly begun and as quickly ended. Even the ass stopped his braying almost as if the necromancers had so ordered.
Sancho seeing that he was no longer pursued, but fearing to look toward the tree in apprehension that the frightful sight might reappear either to his left or right, (although he knew neither by logic or reason), commanded his ass to lie down and huddling in the protection of his companion's body, Sancho made his otherwise massive body, shrink until it was no more than that of a elfin child.
And the rain which had been cascading in torrents continued til mid-afternoon when, a most brilliant rainbow was revealed. In times past Sancho, who firmly believed in the divine fate of the Gods would have seen this as a sign that a treasure was near, but instead he huddled at the body of his ass, seeking whatever comfort could be gained.
The light following the storm awakened our valorous knight and he cried out, "Sancho, where be thee? It is time to rise for we must go forward to the River Nie (which existed only in his mind and perhaps yours as well) to seek adventure, so that I can redeem my pledge and return to my Lady Dulcinea. Sancho, arise you lout wherever you be. Sancho, what hast thou done with my clothing. And, by the grace of God, for I am a Catholic Christian, look. My knightly armor is spread about the plain. Have I been rendered in a state of unconsciousness while engaged in a mighty battle? Sancho, my squire, bring forth my clothing, and at once."
"Bring forth the bag of potions, for I have suffered a grievous wound to my head, although I know not how, methinks an evil force has been afoot under these forbearing trees." said Don Quixote as he looked afield for his tribe of man and beast.
To all this new excitement, for the Don had a very lusty and profane voice when aroused, his trusty steed, Rozinante, appeared to be the only one acknowledging the knight-errants presence or his commands. Thinking that it was now time for a mid-day feeding for which he was intended to enjoy, he came forward (or to the back of our trusty knight as the case was) and nuzzled the buttocks of our naked hero. Whether the cold nose of the mighty horse, or his sudden appearance caused the Don to charge forward from the protective umbrella of the cork tree, it is not recorded. But it is ascertained that in so doing, he fell across the body of Amadis (and that of his squire) who sought protection therewith.
This so startled Amadis that he arose, in so doing stepping mightily on the arms, hands, body, legs and so fourth of Sancho. Now in mid air or so it seemed, for our valiant knight was spread-eagle across the ass's broad back, looked down on his squire who struggled to escape Amadis' unshod hooves.
As is to be expected of so noble a knight, Don Quixote spoke in a quite normal conversational voice, "Ah, there you be, squire Sancho. I have been seeking thee. Without delay bring my smock and please as the occasion demands assemble my armor that I might so don; mount my trusty Rozinante and we be off to seek lodging at a distant castle for the night, for my head hurts much, and I fear that the contents of thy wallet are much soddened by the rain that has fallen." "And, what can the matter be with thee, friend Sancho, you appear to have slept in the rain?" He then paused as if to give greater meaning to his remarks, much as a pastor delivers a most poignant diatribe to his sheep. "Forgive me, I was too quick to judge, you sought the presence of your ass to reassure him and comfort him in the mighty deluge. Well done squire!" "But it is now time to be on our way, and while we travel I will tell you of the most amazing dream that I have dreamt, that involved thieves, necromancers, assaults from the gods in the form of thunderbolts, shrieks from the devil; as I pursued him and lashed out at him and how I came to conclude this most amazing adventure."
Having extracted himself from the ill-placed feet of his ass, Sancho spoke forth, "Master, you and I have much to discuss, as I likewise was pursued by those you just described but sorely, I say unto you, it was no dream, as those that you speak of were here in my very presence. The evidence of which I bear on my backside which sorely hurts and need much attention as the welts that were given now are red, inflamed and raw. It was no dream and I thank the gods that protect knight-errants that you were here to drive off the evil spirits for surely without your intervention, I should have been cast into a life of eternal torture, just the taste of which I was given."
Pouring water from the boot which he wore, Sancho sought out its companion which suffered not the less for abuse as it had stood upright in the rain and would have been filled to near overflowing had not so carefully designed holes been worn in its sole. Now the gathering of the knight's armour began.
It is important for the privileged historian who is responsible for the recording of this, one of the most famous battles of Don Quixote de la Mancha, to add an important note explaining why the ever faithful ass, disobeyed his master's demands to flee from the assaulting necromancer. It is written that as the storm approached Don Quixote and his squire, that it was best to hobble Amadis so that he would not wander away. Knowing full well that if Amadis remained, so would Rozinante. Now the leather ties about the ass's front feet meant that he could only circle and not so quick at that, so when Sancho was being pursued, he was much restricted in his path of escape.
Such a loyal and devoted ass, the most prized possession of Sancho deserves a name. While much attention was given by Don Quixote in naming his stud, Rozinante, less has been said for Amadis. Sancho chose wisely in giving his ass the name of Amadis de Gaul. From Don Quixote's extensive library of history of knights and their quest, Sancho (of whom it is said wrongly, could neither read nor write) selected Amadis who was a modest, brave and heroic knight. Amadis, depicted in "The Four Books of the Virtuous Knight Amadis of Gaul" published in 1508 and which served as Cervantes' model in creating the history of Don Quixote and his squire, pursued dragons and giants, fought many knightly duels often while forced to compete unfairly because of magic spells and finally in triumph married Princes Oriana his love. So why not so enamel his ass with such a proud name?
Likewise it is recorded that the knight's armor hung from the tree branches served as a most convenient path through which the forces of evil descending from the leadened sky could wrought their ways. The leathers that bound each adjoining piece together were smoked by the fire and in some cases destroyed, most being of old, dry and worn leather simply took the abuse and remained in place. Not so in the case of our knight-errants left leg for it was shorn from the rest of the costume and it is that article that Sancho did find and which he firmly to this day believes contained the body if not the spirit of his master.
Perhaps also a word on why our noble and majestic knight would appear in the altogeathers rather in a more modest dress is in order. As the drenching storm would be expected to soak all articles of clothing and cause them to be most uncomfortable when subsequently worn, Don Quixote had carefully removed them thus and stored them in the leather goatbag which contained his most valuable possessions.
Dear Sancho was not so fortunate, as he was expected to be always at the ready for his master's commands, he remained fully clad, although it is written by the scribes that he had sought shelter in a cavernous area of the mighty oak and was most comfortable and dry until he was called upon to rescue his master from the necromancers.
Such is it written.
Having assemble the garments of battle, saddled Rozinante without giving him his rewards for being so loyal and trusty a steed, placing the meager wallet much depleted of edibles by Sancho's early morning repast, on the ass; Sancho assisted his master in mounting and once secure in his place, Don Quixote permitted Sancho to mount as well and they pursued other adventures as is recorded in the further telling of the most interesting history of Don Quixote de la Mancha and his devoted squire, Sancho Panza.
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