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There are moments, however, when I wonder whether being the overlord to an Australian Empire could last very long. Or that the Empire could spread much further than Britain ... or even Australia at that. Just imagine it though - a world run by Australians... how scary!  job than the Americans. It'd be a lot more laidback and easygoing. Firstly I don't think the Australian people have much of a desire to bomb the crap out of everyone. We couldn't be arsed. We'd rather win at a game of something. Or watch everyone else lose. At least with the Aussies, the Earth would remain in tact by the time we were done with it. Maybe. But meanwhile we roam the world looking for places to make our own, and begin our expansion. You know the time is approaching. It won't hurt I promise.   forgotten, and after painfully having read up to this point, you may have come to the realisation that I'm quite strange. You might be able to put it down to an unusual childhood experience I had (see below), or if you   you. Or the blame could be shared and once again be put also to England. For in my younger years having my father sit me down and force me to repeatedly watch Monty Python's Holy Grail. That would be enough to have any youngster growing up more than a little silly. And much like the movie, England is a silly place indeed.  You might see examples of this in the photos on this site. You might not, and pretend you did. You might see glimpses of silliness, yet on seeing it forget you saw anything altogether. Or, when seeming about to forget, suddenly feel the hand of silliness upon you, and thus remember.  ness, actually being serious, I would like to thank Robin, June, and assorted Lovelocks for their generous hospitality, support and company. Without them my experience in England would be very frightening indeed (being serious). So frightening infact, that I would be left as a shivering and scared little (5ft3" little) Aussie, with absolutely no hope of taking over Coventry, let alone the rest of the country (being a little less serious now).
I need also to of course thank Michelle for helping me out, keeping me company of an acquired taste, and just generally putting up with me. I should also thank her in advance for being such a good sport. (Not typically a very English virtue it seems  ). For although the
main purpose of this website is to show everyone in Australia what a silly place England is, it harbours a secondary purpose - paying out Michelle. TRANSLATION FOR BRITS: 'Taking the piss out of...' Sorry Meesh, but you're very smart. Too smart for your own good some would say, and this is one of the things I know how to do and you don't - paste things on the internet. Just consider this revenge for calling me "Stupid Aussie" from the moment I landed. For announcing to everyone that you did and didn't really know [with pointed finger] "This is Kristi-nah ...she's from AUS-TRA-LIA!!" (This was often followed by grumbling under- breath from somewhere in the distance. Or mostly just lack-of-caring.) And wearing that really stupid cork-hat I was thick enough to get you. Everywhere. What else do I need revenge for? Oh yes, for after 30 hours flying from Brisbane to Singapore to Frankfurt to London, and then the drive up to Coventry, ...of ALL the places to first take me out to, you choose none other than the AIRPORT BAR. Thanks again. And then when falling asleep on the table in the middle of a Mixed Hockey drinking circle, due to the compacted effects of jetlag and exhaustion, your response was to poke me in the head and say "WAKE UP!!"   |
