****
You got called out of town on a case before you were ready to leave – before you were ready to leave her. You cursed the timing of the crash, knowing it wasn’t fair or that it didn’t even make sense to d o it. But it didn’t seem fair to you either.
She drove you to the airport. “I promise to drive carefully,” she swore, crossing her fingers over her heart. Her cheeks were sucked in and you could tell she was struggling not to laugh as she said it. It felt good to see her smile. To see her smile at you.
Your lips quirked in response as you said, “Thank you,” and meant it.
You felt something close to happy as you snaked through the security lines. She stood next to you, the fabric of her sleeve brushing over yours and you wished the contact were firmer. You wished everything were more concrete, really. You thought things would change. But progress was coming slowly. It was coming in inches and you wanted feet. It was coming so slowly it was leaving you time to wonder. And you do wonder. You wonder if you’re only waiting for her to catch up to you because you’d been waiting so long you don’t know how to do anything else.
“Be careful,” she told you, twisting her cover in her hand. She rubbed a hand over her stomach, something she has done frequently since she told you about her endometriosis.
“I’ll be good,” you promised.
Her lips twitched and she smiled a little. “That’s not the same thing,” she pointed out.
“I know,” you grinned.
“You’re such a lawyer,” she snorted softly and bumped her elbow against yours. The line slipped forward and you could see the security check point getting closer. “I better let you get on the plane.”
She rocked forward and you thought she would hug you. Your arms lifted, fractionally, then dropped back to your sides as she rocked back on her heels. Her wave was weak and her smile faltered. “Be good.” She stood on her tiptoes and brushed her lips over your cheek before turning and walking away.
The investigation was harder than it had to be. People were tense and you understood. Having had Mattie in your life made you understand why people reacted the way they did. It’s preservation of the species. A basic instinct to protect their children was guiding them. The parents weren’t seeing what had happened as much as what could have happened. They were seeing the danger that might have existed and part of your investigation was hindered by the need to play diplomat to people who weren’t willing to move from their positions.
The kiss caught you by surprise. You could feel her breath against your mouth, and, for a second, your skin remembered the kiss at the airport. But the phantom contact disappeared under the pressure of real lips. You’ve missed Mac since you’ve been gone, but you’ve begun to wonder if you could really miss something that was never really yours. She was a ghost of a wish, a fleeting thought in the presence of someone who was attracted to you and who you liked back.
“What was that for?” you asked as she pulled away.
She shrugged, “Gratitude, maybe.” She patted your cheek, her thumb skimming over the bone and settling at the corner of your eye. “Cause I like your face?” she suggested.
Your hands rested on her waist. Progress, you remembered. You wanted it. You wanted to see something quantifiable. You wanted feet and this was close to a mile. A voice whispered, “be good,” in your mind and you sighed a little against the top of her head before stepping back. Progress arrived in the form of the wrong woman. And the damn thing was, you couldn’t bring yourself to want her.
TBC...