Eye of the Beholder

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Monday, January 12, 2004
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
1300 ZULU

"Come on, Mac. Please? I mean, surely you can pull out a date with Webb as a suitable excuse. And I can always use Mattie," Harm pleaded with the stubborn woman in front of him.

Averting her eyes so as to not allow him to see the flash of pain there, she shook her head. "Not on your life, Harm. Forget it. We are going to this dinner on Friday. Both of us. End of story," Mac stated firmly.

"Mac, Meredith is cooking. Cooking," he repeated in case she hadn’t caught it the first time. "Have you tasted that woman’s cooking? Even the Admiral is worried." When she still wouldn’t waver, and continued to ignore him, he conceded defeat. "Fine. But can we at least stop and get something on the way over there?"

Mac laughed out loud, although Harm didn’t see what was so damn funny. He followed her into her office watching as she set her things down in the chair behind her desk. When she looked at him again, the smile was still there, but she also had sympathy in her eyes.

"Look, Harm, I know it’s going to be rough, but Meredith is really looking forward to this. She still feels indebted to you for finding the Admiral, and now with all of the wedding plans..."

Harm gave a dismissive wave. "I know she does, but I didn't really find him. And besides, that was almost a year ago and a lot has happened since then. I’m not sure he even likes me any more after quitting, and our little adventure in Paraguay." Before she could protest to the contrary, he continued. "Yeah, he asked me back, but I’m still in the doghouse, Mac. And if that was really the case, why would she ask you to come along, too?"

Mac had to admit she had been thrilled when Meredith had invited her, along with Harm, for this dinner. She tried not to focus too much on the fact that it was probably only because she had been standing there when Meredith asked Harm, and not because other people thought of them as a ‘couple’. Especially with the way their relationship was now. No one would mistake them for a couple after the last several months. They barely resembled friends. "I don’t know why she asked. Maybe she’s trying to get you and the Admiral on level ground again. I just happened to be there." When he didn’t say anything, she huffed slightly, "It’s just dinner, Harm."

"I know that, it’s just..." he started but drifted off, as if lost in thought.

"All right, spit it out. What are you really worried about?"

"I don’t know it just feels kind of strange...after everything. That’s all."

Confused Mac asked, "What does? It’s not like we’ve never had dinner before. Or dinner with the Admiral for that matter."

"Yeah, but that was before. Before you and Webb..." He broke off after seeing the look on her face. "Look, it just feels weird. Like we’re being set up...for...something," he stated lamely. How was he supposed to tell her that he felt like their C.O.’s fiancé was playing matchmaker between him and Mac? Not that it was a bad idea, God only knew he needed all the help he could get when it came to Sarah Mackenzie. It was just...he had other ideas about how they should go about getting together, if the opportunity were to ever present itself. They needed to take their time, work into it.

But, damn it, as far as he knew she was still with Webb. Things were a total mess right now.

"Being set up? For what?" Mac had a feeling she knew what he was talking about but she wanted to hear him say it. Crossing her arms over her chest, eyes narrowed, she waited.

Harm took in her somewhat defensive stance and tried to reason with her. "You know, like Meredith has some sort of...romantic notion...about you and me." Oh Christ, that didn’t come out right.

"And that’s always bothered you, hasn’t it? The thought of people thinking of us as a couple?" Mac asked, her voice deceptively calm.

Harm gulped before answering. "I’ve never said it bothered me, Mac. It’s just..."

"It’s just what, Harm?" She was starting to get angry, her voice rising slightly.

"Damn it, Mac, I don’t understand you. You were the one that didn’t want this. You said it yourself; there is no ‘us’!" Harm answered, frustrated.

At his louder than normal response, the bullpen became abnormally quiet. Harm shut his eyes briefly, hoping that when he opened them he wouldn’t really be standing in front of her after saying what he just said, and in front of the entire bullpen. When he did finally open them he knew he wasn’t that lucky.

The look on her face said it all. It wasn’t that she was just mad; she was mad and hurt. "Mac, look. What I meant was..."

Mac cut him off. "Forget it, Commander." Mac took her cover and brief case off her chair with deliberate slowness, her emotions now tightly locked away, placing the items in the corner behind her desk before sitting down. "If you’ll excuse me, I have work I need to do," she replied quietly.

The noise outside her door resumed, but Harm knew they were still listening in. Shutting the door, Harm turned around and faced her. She wasn’t looking at him, opting to study the file in front of her.

"Mac." Nothing.

"Mac, look at me." Still nothing. "Please."

Sighing heavily, she looked up at him.. "What, Harm?"

The glistening moisture in the corners of her eyes sent a jab of remorse straight through him. "I didn’t mean that the way it sounded," Harm soothed.

"I don’t know what you mean. It was the truth. You’re right; we’re not a couple. Not even close. Hell, sometimes I wonder if we’re still even friends. " He flinched at her assessment of the current status of their relationship. She was acting nonchalant but Harm could see the tension in her shoulders as she held his gaze.

Ignoring the friends remark, Harm pushed forward before he could talk himself out of it. "No, we’re not a couple. But I didn’t mean it to sound like I didn’t still...want us to be," he finished, looking down at his shoes.

Knowing this was dangerous ground for them, and not wanting to get her hopes up too high, Mac asked carefully, "Are you saying you...still do? Might still want us to be, I mean."

Harm opened his mouth to answer but was cut off by a timid knock on the door of her office.

It was Harm’s turn to sigh, and Mac gave him a small smile of understanding before calling out, "Enter."

Coates poked her head around the door, as if checking to make sure it was safe. "Ma’am, Sir, I hate to interrupt...but the Admiral would like to see you."

"We’ll be right there, Jen," Harm assured him.

With a nod Jennifer was gone, leaving Harm and Mac staring at each other once more. Unable to bear the awkward silence any more Mac spoke, "Well, I guess we better go see what he wants."

As she stood up and tried to make her way past him, Harm stopped her with a hand on her elbow. "Mac...I’m...I..."

Giving him a gentle but sad expression she nodded when he didn’t continue. Covering his hand she gave it a squeeze. "It’s all right, Harm. We’ll talk later. Come on, let’s go."

Not entirely happy with how the situation had turned out, Harm nodded in acceptance, willing to drop it for now. They would, however, talk about it later if he had anything to say about it.

Admiral Cheggwiden’s Office

They were barely in the office before the Admiral ordered, "At ease, people. Take a seat."

With nervous glances at each other, both officers did as they were told.

"I have a new case for you. A Gunnery Sergeant Logan Miles was arrested this weekend."

Harm jumped in when their C.O. seemed reluctant to continue. "Um, Sir, what are the charges?"

"Gunnery Sergeant Miles is being charged with first degree murder, Commander. He was caught running away from the scene, still holding the murder weapon. I need you two to do the investigation."

It was Mac’s turn to question, "If the gunnery sergeant was caught running away, holding the evidence, what is there to investigate, Sir? Did he not confess?"

"He confessed to being there, but he’s saying someone else killed her, and he picked up the knife in self defense." The Admiral’s hard tone wasn’t lost on either of them. After another tension filled moment the Admiral reluctantly handed over files to both of them.

Quickly scanning through the details, both seemed to reach the murder victim’s identity at the same time.

"Oh my God."

Continue on to Part 2


~~~~~~~ Monday, January 12, 2004 JAG Headquarters Falls Church, Virginia 1300 ZULU "Come on, Mac. Please? I mean, surely you can pull out a date with Webb as a suitable excuse. And I can always use Mattie," Harm pleaded with the stubborn woman in front of him. Averting her eyes so as to not allow him to see the flash of pain there, she shook her head. "Not on your life, Harm. Forget it. We are going to this dinner on Friday. Both of us. End of story," Mac stated firmly. "Mac, Meredith is cooking. Cooking," he repeated in case she hadn’t caught it the first time. "Have you tasted that woman’s cooking? Even the Admiral is worried." When she still wouldn’t waver, and continued to ignore him, he conceded defeat. "Fine. But can we at least stop and get something on the way over there?" Mac laughed out loud, although Harm didn’t see what was so damn funny. He followed her into her office watching as she set her things down in the chair behind her desk. When she looked at him again, the smile was still there, but she also had sympathy in her eyes. "Look, Harm, I know it’s going to be rough, but Meredith is really looking forward to this. She still feels indebted to you for finding the Admiral, and now with all of the wedding plans..." Harm gave a dismissive wave. "I know she does, but I didn't really find him. And besides, that was almost a year ago and a lot has happened since then. I’m not sure he even likes me any more after quitting, and our little adventure in Paraguay." Before she could protest to the contrary, he continued. "Yeah, he asked me back, but I’m still in the doghouse, Mac. And if that was really the case, why would she ask you to come along, too?" Mac had to admit she had been thrilled when Meredith had invited her, along with Harm, for this dinner. She tried not to focus too much on the fact that it was probably only because she had been standing there when Meredith asked Harm, and not because other people thought of them as a ‘couple’. Especially with the way their relationship was now. No one would mistake them for a couple after the last several months. They barely resembled friends. "I don’t know why she asked. Maybe she’s trying to get you and the Admiral on level ground again. I just happened to be there." When he didn’t say anything, she huffed slightly, "It’s just dinner, Harm." "I know that, it’s just..." he started but drifted off, as if lost in thought. "All right, spit it out. What are you really worried about?" "I don’t know it just feels kind of strange...after everything. That’s all." Confused Mac asked, "What does? It’s not like we’ve never had dinner before. Or dinner with the Admiral for that matter." "Yeah, but that was before. Before you and Webb..." He broke off after seeing the look on her face. "Look, it just feels weird. Like we’re being set up...for...something," he stated lamely. How was he supposed to tell her that he felt like their C.O.’s fiancé was playing matchmaker between him and Mac? Not that it was a bad idea, God only knew he needed all the help he could get when it came to Sarah Mackenzie. It was just...he had other ideas about how they should go about getting together, if the opportunity were to ever present itself. They needed to take their time, work into it. But, damn it, as far as he knew she was still with Webb. Things were a total mess right now. "Being set up? For what?" Mac had a feeling she knew what he was talking about but she wanted to hear him say it. Crossing her arms over her chest, eyes narrowed, she waited. Harm took in her somewhat defensive stance and tried to reason with her. "You know, like Meredith has some sort of...romantic notion...about you and me." Oh Christ, that didn’t come out right. "And that’s always bothered you, hasn’t it? The thought of people thinking of us as a couple?" Mac asked, her voice deceptively calm. Harm gulped before answering. "I’ve never said it bothered me, Mac. It’s just..." "It’s just what, Harm?" She was starting to get angry, her voice rising slightly. "Damn it, Mac, I don’t understand you. You were the one that didn’t want this. You said it yourself; there is no ‘us’!" Harm answered, frustrated. At his louder than normal response, the bullpen became abnormally quiet. Harm shut his eyes briefly, hoping that when he opened them he wouldn’t really be standing in front of her after saying what he just said, and in front of the entire bullpen. When he did finally open them he knew he wasn’t that lucky. The look on her face said it all. It wasn’t that she was just mad; she was mad and hurt. "Mac, look. What I meant was..." Mac cut him off. "Forget it, Commander." Mac took her cover and brief case off her chair with deliberate slowness, her emotions now tightly locked away, placing the items in the corner behind her desk before sitting down. "If you’ll excuse me, I have work I need to do," she replied quietly. The noise outside her door resumed, but Harm knew they were still listening in. Shutting the door, Harm turned around and faced her. She wasn’t looking at him, opting to study the file in front of her. "Mac." Nothing. "Mac, look at me." Still nothing. "Please." Sighing heavily, she looked up at him.. "What, Harm?" The glistening moisture in the corners of her eyes sent a jab of remorse straight through him. "I didn’t mean that the way it sounded," Harm soothed. "I don’t know what you mean. It was the truth. You’re right; we’re not a couple. Not even close. Hell, sometimes I wonder if we’re still even friends. " He flinched at her assessment of the current status of their relationship. She was acting nonchalant but Harm could see the tension in her shoulders as she held his gaze. Ignoring the friends remark, Harm pushed forward before he could talk himself out of it. "No, we’re not a couple. But I didn’t mean it to sound like I didn’t still...want us to be," he finished, looking down at his shoes. Knowing this was dangerous ground for them, and not wanting to get her hopes up too high, Mac asked carefully, "Are you saying you...still do? Might still want us to be, I mean." Harm opened his mouth to answer but was cut off by a timid knock on the door of her office. It was Harm’s turn to sigh, and Mac gave him a small smile of understanding before calling out, "Enter." Coates poked her head around the door, as if checking to make sure it was safe. "Ma’am, Sir, I hate to interrupt...but the Admiral would like to see you." "We’ll be right there, Jen," Harm assured him. With a nod Jennifer was gone, leaving Harm and Mac staring at each other once more. Unable to bear the awkward silence any more Mac spoke, "Well, I guess we better go see what he wants." As she stood up and tried to make her way past him, Harm stopped her with a hand on her elbow. "Mac...I’m...I..." Giving him a gentle but sad expression she nodded when he didn’t continue. Covering his hand she gave it a squeeze. "It’s all right, Harm. We’ll talk later. Come on, let’s go." Not entirely happy with how the situation had turned out, Harm nodded in acceptance, willing to drop it for now. They would, however, talk about it later if he had anything to say about it. Admiral Cheggwiden’s Office They were barely in the office before the Admiral ordered, "At ease, people. Take a seat." With nervous glances at each other, both officers did as they were told. "I have a new case for you. A Gunnery Sergeant Logan Miles was arrested this weekend." Harm jumped in when their C.O. seemed reluctant to continue. "Um, Sir, what are the charges?" "Gunnery Sergeant Miles is being charged with first degree murder, Commander. He was caught running away from the scene, still holding the murder weapon. I need you two to do the investigation." It was Mac’s turn to question, "If the gunnery sergeant was caught running away, holding the evidence, what is there to investigate, Sir? Did he not confess?" "He confessed to being there, but he’s saying someone else killed her, and he picked up the knife in self defense." The Admiral’s hard tone wasn’t lost on either of them. After another tension filled moment the Admiral reluctantly handed over files to both of them. Quickly scanning through the details, both seemed to reach the murder victim’s identity at the same time. "Oh my God." Continue on to Part 2 Back to Fanfictions
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