Harm’s
SUV
En route to Union Station
23:55 EST
Harm drove, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. ‘Why in the hell didn’t I stay? Am I absolutely out of my mind?’ His brain had no answer to his silent questions. Continuing on his way, Harm couldn’t quell the uneasiness threatening to choke him. Something was seriously wrong with Mac, he knew that. But how was he supposed to help her if she wouldn’t let him in?
‘But you gave up awfully fast didn’t you?’ that little voice nagged him.
Sighing, Harm tried to figure out what to do next. ‘Do I go back and tell her I changed my mind, that I want to stay? Or, do I just go home and call her. I’m sure she’s all right. But what if she isn’t?’
His last thought still reverberated through his head. That was just it. He still didn’t know if she was all right. Despite her statement to the contrary, there was still something wrong that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Sure, he was worried about what she had told him earlier. He didn’t even want to think about what it would be like if she left him and moved away. They were just now starting to find themselves again. Mac had been right, they needed to start again, back at the beginning and build something stable between them.
And that’s what Harm had been trying to do ever since then. He had been trying, these last several months, to give her enough time and space to become comfortable with the idea of being in a relationship with him. Hell, he would have jumped right into trying to woo her after Mic was out of the picture if she would have given even the slightest indication that that was what she wanted.
The only other problem was Harm didn’t have the slightest idea where to start with romancing Mac. He’d never really had to work at trying to win a woman before. Most women just naturally seemed to want him. Arrogant? Maybe, but it was the truth.
He’d never had to work at trying to find a date or...anything else he wanted. The only woman to ever totally throw off his groove was Mac. From the beginning she had put up the defenses, making it perfectly clear that his charm and good looks would get him nowhere with her. He’d always kind of suspected that she wasn’t as immune as she let on, but at the time it really didn’t matter. He hadn’t thought he was interested in her; she wasn’t his type at all.
But looking back on it now, hind sight was always 20/20. He had known from the beginning that she was different. Mac made him feel things that he had never felt before, and it had scared the hell out of him. Now, here they were, five years later, and still no closer to a real understanding. Well, maybe that wasn’t entirely true. They were closer, just not close enough. He wanted her so badly he ached, but whenever he got passed the “comfort zone” they had unspokenly established between them, one or both of them backed away.
So basically, here lately he had done what he had always done best: nothing. And what was even worse, so had she. Mac had been completely passive the last couple of months where he was concerned. Maybe she had completely given up on the idea of there ever being anything more between them. The thought nauseated him. She couldn’t give up, he wouldn’t let her.
‘Then what are you gonna do about it?’ the voice whispered.
Harm had absolutely no clue what he was going to do to change her mind, but he knew he had to do something. He had meant it when he had said that he never wanted to lose her. But that was exactly what was going to happen if he didn’t pull his head out of his ass long enough to tell her he loved her.
The shrill ring of his cell phone broke him out of his melancholy thoughts.
“Rabb.” Harm squirmed in his seat when he recognized the voice of the caller.
“Hi. Uh, yeah, it’s late but that’s okay.” Pausing another moment, Harm waited to answer the question. “Sure, we’re still on for tomorrow. There were some things I need to discuss with you. Yeah, lunch tomorrow. I’ll meet you there. Good night.”
Resisting the urge to chuck the damn phone out the window, Harm instead opted to toss it onto the passenger seat.
“How in the hell do I get myself into this shit?” Harm sighed, exasperated. ‘Because you have no guts, Rabb. That’s why.’
Pulling into his spot beside his building, Harm got out, slamming the door behind him. Once inside, Harm made his way up the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator. He needed to talk to Mac, to hear her voice, to make sure she was fine. Cursing himself again for the coward he was, Harm dialed the familiar number.
Sarah
Mackenzie’s Apartment
Same time
Mac sat at her desk, staring at the same journal page she had been looking at for the last thirty minutes. Skimming down the page, her finger brushed across each entry, each time and date. With shaky hands, she picked up the pen laying beside the open book and made the next entry.
March 8, 2002, 23:35
Called again. Same voice. Claims they are watching me. Knew Harm was here with me too. Threatening laughter...
When the phone rang this time, terror had her rooted in place. She couldn’t hear it again, she thought, while shaking her head no and resisting the urge to clap her hands over her ears to drown out the sound she had come to hate. On the fifth ring the machine kicked on and Mac felt her lungs begin to function again.
“Mac? It’s Harm. Where in the hell are you? I knew I should have came back.”
Lunging for the phone, Mac answered breathlessly, “Harm, I’m here.”
“What happened, Mac? Why didn’t you answer?” His voice sounded frantic.
Her second lie of the night rolled off of her tongue almost too easily. “I was in the shower, Harm. I just got out and was going to walk into the living room to check and make sure everything was locked up before I went to bed when you called.”
Harm’s mind was still back in Mac’s shower momentarily. The thought of her naked, the water caressing her smooth skin, her head thrown back in contentment, was doing amazing things to his body. And if she hurried to catch the phone, then the thought that she might now be naked while talking to him...wow.
“Um, Mac?”
Catching the odd tone of his voice, Mac answered tentatively. “Yes, Harm?”
“Are you still...I mean, you did put some clothes on...before you answered the phone, right?”
His nervous stammering about her state of dress had her feeling better than she had in weeks. Wondering just what his response would be she decided to play with him a bit. “You know, Harm, I am alone here in my apartment. I don’t always walk around fully clothed. I can even walk around nude if I want to. And most of the time I sleep in nothing.”
Hearing him groan softly Mac felt a small surge of hope; she was getting to him. Still, she decided to cut him a break. “Harm, it’s late. Was there a reason you were calling or did you just want to know what I’m wearing?”
Chuckling, Harm countered, “You were acting kind of strange when I left and I just wanted to make sure you were all right. Although, now I’ll have more to think about when I sleep tonight.”
She wasn’t touching that one, although her smile could be heard through the phone. “Thanks, Harm. I appreciate the concern but I’m fine, really.”
“Sure you don’t want me to come back?”
“I wanted you to stay in the first place,” she shot back.
“I know. I just...I just thought it would be better if I...well if I went home,” he stammered.
“Why?” Mac pushed.
“Because,” he replied stubbornly.
Snorting, Mac answered. “Great reason. Look, I’m tired. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Harm.”
Damn it he’d done it again. Dejectedly, Harm spoke. “All right. See ya tomorrow, Mac.”
“Good
night. Oh, one more thing. Pleasant dreams, Sailor.” And with that
the connection was broken leaving Harm alone with his thoughts of an incredibly
beautiful, and completely naked Marine Colonel.