In High School 1987 we were shoved off to an assembly. We had a mean cop warning us about the joys of prison and bending over for soap, and cheerleaders shouting out "DON'T DO DOPE!- and was I listening? Nope!
JUST SAY NO!
I wouldn't listen to Nancy Reagan, because she's a republican and dad said all republicans are liars.
I made it a point of liberal honor to try every drug I could get my hands on starting with coffee. Yes they served it in the high school cafeteria and up to then only the staff or teachers ever drank it, but one day I went up and instead of asking for chocolate milk, I garnered up a manly voice and said "I'd like a cup of coffee!" The cashier lady, Mrs Babbit looked shocked, "but Andy, it'll stunt your growth!"
I replied "I know madam, but that's just the way it's gotta be." And she gave me that styrofoam cup steaming at 175 degrees smelling like dirt, and I walked with the tray held low so that everybody could see, and they did see, they saw, all the jocks with their dopey smiles, and menancing grimaces, all the cheerleaders in disgust because I was such a nerd. The dorks gaped in awe as if I were James Dean, I was clearly no longer
one of them, and the stoners looked on beaming with pride and hope as if to say -- brothers, we got us a new one. What they didn't see, was under my shirt, there was a carton of chocolate milk waiting to cleanse my soul, when no one was looking.
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Created 17 June 2000
Updated 1 July 2000
