MUSEUM SONG

(Spoken):

Everything about my museum was spectacular, including the price: one dollar!

Now, that may seem a bit steep, but it was worth it! Look at what I gave 'em:

(Sung):

Quite a lot 'a Roman terracotta

Livin' lava from the flanks of Etna

 

Statuary; ride a dromedary

See the temple tumble and the Red Sea part.

McNamara's Band; the fattest lady in the land.

 

A pickled pre-historic hand; a strand of Pocahontas' hair

Crow and Soo are going to be showing you some rowing

through a model of the rapids on the Delaware.

 

Armadillos; clever caterpillars

Reproductions of the Cyclops retina

Crystal blowing; automatic sewing

 

Venus on a shell and other works of art

Educated fleas; a tribe of Aborigines

Two ladies joined across the knees.

 

A Mona Lisa made of ice

Hottentots, forgotten and forgotten spots;

A cotton gin; a night in Sodom - better see that twice.

 

One Iguana;

Snakes and other fauna

Got no bearded lady, but we're getting' a!

 

When you duck out, take another buck out

Run around the block and see;

Run around the block and see a new show start.