| Choices Chapter 3 |
| Saying goodbye . . . for now. |
| The rest of the week passed with relative normality. Lennie ended up working late most nights on this latest case, so they never got a chance to talk. Both of them made a point of getting home early on Friday, though, wanting to clear the air before the weekend. Jack had brought Chinese home, and they finally had a nice dinner together, talking about the case, the trial Jack was in the middle of, baseball, all the usual things that made up their life. But finally it was time; they stashed the leftovers in the fridge, tossed the empty cartons in the trash, and sat back down at the kitchen table. �So.� They both said it at the same time, then burst out laughing, dispelling the growing tension. �Oh, god, Lennie. I�m sorry I started all this.� �It�s OK, Jack. I think Abbie is right � we needed to have a talk. Too many assumptions going on here.� �Yeah. So where do we start?� �I�ve been thinking about this thing with you and Danielle. If it�s that important to you, I think you should go for it. I need to know, Jack. If not now, am I just going to lose you to the next woman? Is what we have enough for the long term?� Jack reached across the table and took his hands. �I want it to be, Lennie. I thought it was. But you�re right � right now, I�m not sure.� Lennie nodded. �So find out for sure. I can wait.� Jack shook his head. �I don�t want you to wait for me, Lennie. If something turns up, you should explore too. I think I need to know just how jealous that makes me!� He smiled, making light of it, but he was serious. Lennie laughed and shook his head. �Ok, ok, you win. I�ll see what I can find.� Jack squeezed Lennie�s hands, then let go and leaned back, his face again serious. This was the part he had been dreading. �There�s just one thing, Lennie. I don�t know how to say this. I don�t think I can go out with Danielle and then come home to you here �� �I know, Jack. Got it covered. I�m gonna crash with Ed for a while.� Jack sighed with relief. �I still feel lousy asking you to leave.� �It�s OK, Jack. Besides, this way, when we decide if we can make it work, I�ll know it�s serious when you ask me to move in.� Jack laughed softly and managed a weak smile. �We kind of skipped some steps there, didn�t we?� �Yeah, but we�ll get it right this time.� �So we�re not breaking up, right?� �Hell no. What was it Glenn Frey said about the Eagles? �We never broke up, we just took a 14 year vacation.� Jack laughed. �Just let�s not take 14 years, Lennie. I don�t think I�ve got that long!� �Oh, I�m hoping for a lot more than that; especially if it�s with you.� Jack looked away, touched by Lennie�s comment. If only he felt more sure about the probability of that future. He looked back at Lennie. �I take it you�ve already talked to Ed?� �Already have a key. But I�ve got a favor to ask. If it�s OK, I was hoping to leave most of my stuff here in the spare room? That way if things work out the way I hope they do, no problem. But if you choose her, at least I only have to move once.� Jack looked into his eyes. �Do you think that�s going to happen?� Lennie sighed. �Jack, you have to give her a real chance, or it�s not worth us going through this hell. And not fair to her, besides.� Jack sighed and nodded. �You�re right. Yeah, the guest room is still yours. When were you planning on going?� �I was thinking tonight. No reason to postpone the inevitable.� Jack closed his eyes against the hurt. He knew it was for the best, but he also really didn�t want Lennie to leave. He opened his eyes, leaned forward, and took Lennie�s hands again. �Lennie, please. Stay with me tonight. I don�t want what happened Monday to be our last time together.� �Jack, no matter what, it�s not our last time together. We�re still seeing each other. I think I�m actually kind of looking forward to going out on a real date with you.� His eager expression actually got a hint of a smile in response from Jack. It was enough to convince him to stay. �But yes, I�ll stay tonight.� He decided in that moment that if Jack was going to use this as his �comparison� to Danielle, he�d have to make this VERY special . . . He lifted their hands to his lips and gently kissed Jack�s fingers. �Just let me call Ed and let him know.� Jack nodded and watched Lennie walk into the living room toward the phone. He silently thanked Abbie for making this a lot less painful than it would have been without her. She had given them both a chance to get used to the idea, to see the necessity. Jack was beginning to understand how important she had become to both of them. He got up, turned out the kitchen lights, and went back to the bathroom, wanting to wash away the sweat from the ride home. July in New York could be just too damned hot. He left the bathroom door open as he stepped into the shower, sighing as the water rushed over him. He was rinsing the shampoo from his hair when he heard the bathroom door close. A few moments later, Lennie joined him under the hot water, arms wrapping around him from behind as his mouth sought out Jack�s neck. They stood there for a while, just enjoying the feel of the full body contact and the warm water. Jack could feel Lennie�s erection growing, pressing into his ass. As he pushed back against it, Lennie let out a soft sound, somewhere between a growl and a purr. Jack turned around to face his lover, reaching out to pull his face in for a kiss. Lennie�s arms around his waist pulled them closer together, their cocks trapped between them, pressing against each other, hips thrusting gently as they moaned into each others� mouths. Jack�s hands slid down Lennie�s chest, and he pulled away slightly to let them trail down below. His fingers felt the slight fuzz at Lennie�s crotch. He caressed gently as he asked �I know it�s not Saturday, but do you want me to take care of this now?� // It may be a while before I can do it again �if ever � // Lennie�s hands had come up to his face, pulling him in for a gentle kiss. He heard the unspoken thought. �Yeah.� He pulled away and grabbed the stool they kept in the shower for this, and the foam pillow Jack kneeled on. It would come in handy for what he had in mind later anyhow � They had both shaved a few months ago in an experiment with a can of chocolate sauce; Jack had let his regrow, but Lennie liked it clean, so every Saturday it had become their ritual for Jack to shave him as part of their foreplay. He had it down to a science now, gently scraping away the unwanted hair while teasing the throbbing cock. When he was done, he grabbed the shower head � a handheld unit � and sprayed away the soap and stray hairs. �Oh, yeah,� Lennie moaned as he angled the spray for a moment directly onto his cock. Jack let the shower head drop to the floor as he offered Lennie a hand up and was drawn into another kiss. He broke away long enough to whisper �Bedroom?� into Lennie�s ear. Lennie pulled back and grinned at him. �I�ve actually got another idea first.� Jack raised an eyebrow, but knowing Lennie, he was happy to follow his lead. �Turn around and lean against the wall and spread your legs.� Lennie kicked the stool out of the way and bent to retrieve the shower head. Jack �assumed the position� and waited, half expecting what was coming with great anticipation. He felt the warm water playing over his ass as Lennie washed him carefully, pulling his cheeks apart. Then the water was gone, replaced by a warm tongue, licking all around, getting closer and closer to his hole. A hand slid between his legs to caress his balls just as the tongue found its target. �Ahhhh!� Lennie grinned at his reaction and focused in even more. His tongue licked and probed, ever more insistent, until he had Jack moaning. His hand slid forward to just barely touch the base of the aching cock, then backed off. �Oh, god, Lennie!� Jack cried out, squirming under Lennie�s mouth, his breathing hard and ragged. Still Lennie kept going as Jack pushed back against him, desperate for more, unable to keep still. Finally, when he realized Jack was almost too near the edge, he stopped and stood up, whispering into Jack�s ear �NOW bedroom.� Jack was so weak-kneed that Lennie had to help him straighten up. Lennie grinned at him, knowing that the short walk to the bedroom would give him just enough recovery time so he wouldn�t pop the minute Lennie entered him. A kiss stretched it out a little longer, then Lennie gently pushed him toward the bed. Jack fell back onto the bed, desperately wanting Lennie inside him. Lennie grabbed the lube then joined him, positioning so that their legs were crossed like scissors. He greased up his cock, then slid a greasy finger into Jack, smiling as he watched the pleasure on his lover�s face. He teased a while longer with his fingers until finally Jack moaned �Will you do it already?� A laugh began, deep in his throat, that sent shivers up Jack�s spine. Finally, he pushed into the tight space and held still, letting Jack adjust. �Oh, god, finally!� More of that deep, rich laughter, then Lennie started moving, very slowly. He took his time, wanting this to last as long as possible. Their bodies were almost at right angles to each other, close enough that Jack could hold onto his arm, occasionally stretching enough for a kiss. It felt so good, locked together like this. Their fingers intertwined, mirroring their bodies, as they found a rhythm. By now, both were breathing hard, sighs and moans their only communication. Lennie knew Jack wasn�t going to last much longer, so he picked up the pace and pushed them over the edge. His hand wrapped around Jack�s cock just as he felt his own explosion coming. The combination was more than Jack could take; he cried out as his whole body contracted, arching, consumed with pleasure. They laid there together, learning how to breathe again. Lennie was reluctant to pull out, to separate them; he knew this would be their last time together for a while. // But that�s something he won�t be getting from any girlfriend // The sadness started to return, and Lennie pushed it away, along with his distaste for the pettiness of that last thought. // Tonight, just love him. Tomorrow is for goodbyes. // Finally he couldn�t put it off any longer, so he pulled away from Jack and crawled out of bed, heading to the bathroom to clean up. He returned with a washcloth for Jack, who had managed to get the covers pulled down without actually getting out of bed. Lennie handed him the cloth and shut out the light, then crawled in beside him as Jack pulled the covers over them both. With a sigh, he settled his head on Jack�s shoulder, wrapping his arm and leg over his lover, lifting his face for the kiss. Jack�s fingers threaded through his hair. �Lennie �� He hugged with his whole body. �Sshh. Not tonight. Tonight I just want to hold you, to love you.� Jack nearly choked on the words that wanted to come out; instead he leaned down and kissed Lennie�s forehead. �OK,� was all he could manage to say. He laid there for quite a while after Lennie had fallen asleep in his arms, wondering if he was doing the right thing. Saturday morning, Lennie woke surprised to find Jack still sleeping beside him. // Wonder how long he was up thinking last night. // He sighed and rolled over, gently laying his hand on Jack�s chest. He knew what was coming; last night, Jack had wanted to ask if he was sure they had to do this. Lord knows, he wished they didn�t. But for bad or for good, Danielle had opened a can of worms, and they had to work through it. And the only way Jack was ever going to know for sure was if Lennie stepped out for a bit. He didn�t like it, but he had realized that he loved the man enough to give him his freedom. Now he could only wait to see what happened. Jack woke up feeling the warmth of Lennie�s hand on his chest, the fingers gently rubbing his skin. He looked up into the deep blue eyes, and the sadness there immediately chased away the smile from his lips. This was it � their last morning together. // For a while, Jack. Just for a while. // �Hey.� Lennie�s voice was deeper even than usual for the early morning. Jack caught his hand and brought it to his lips. �Hey.� Their fingers twined together as their eyes locked. Lennie bent down to kiss him, gently, tenderly, then pulled back and ran his fingers through the thick silver hair. He sighed, realizing that he would have to make the first move, so he reluctantly let go and crawled out of bed. �Why don�t you go make some coffee?� He offered Jack a hand, pulling him up out of the bed. Jack swallowed, hard, and nodded. He grabbed his robe and wandered toward the kitchen. Lennie went into the bathroom, grabbed a quick shower and shave, then ducked into the guest room to dig out his luggage. A garment bag for his suits, a large wheeled suitcase for just about everything else, and a small �carry-on� for the bathroom stuff. He tossed things into the suitcases almost without thinking, just wanting the chore to be done. He left out a pair of jeans and a short sleeved shirt for today, then tossed his robe into the suitcase as well. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror as he turned to put on the jeans. The sparkle of gold at his neck grabbed his attention. The necklace Jack had given him for Christmas. He hesitated, wondering if he should take it off, leave it on Jack�s dresser. His fingers were fumbling for the clasp when Jack came back with a mug of coffee for him. �No, Lennie. Please. Keep it.� His own fingers found the matching silver one Lennie had given him. �We�re not breaking up, right?� It was almost a plea. He sighed and nodded. �Right.� �So keep part of me with you, even when you�re gone, OK?� Lennie came to him, and gently touched the silver chain. �You too.� Jack nodded, and they held each other close. Lennie pulled back. �Jack, this isn�t easy. But it is right. Trust that, OK?� Jack nodded, no longer trusting his voice. Lennie let go and grabbed the shirt he had left out. �Then give me a few more minutes to pack, and I�ll put us both out of this misery of saying goodbye, OK?� Jack nodded again, and reluctantly went back to the kitchen. Lennie went into the bathroom and tossed all his stuff into the carry-on, did one last check for anything he might have forgotten, and zipped everything up. He grabbed his cell phone and called Ed, saying he�d be over in a little bit, then dragged the luggage into the living room. Jack had dressed and was waiting for him. �I�ll help you carry this down to the car.� �Thanks,� was all he could say. They were silent during the elevator ride down to the parking garage, and as he tossed the luggage into his trunk. Finally, the moment they both had been dreading became unavoidable. He unlocked the driver�s door, then turned to look at Jack. �I guess this is it, then.� �Yeah.� Their eyes met, both rather moist, and then their arms were around each other, holding on as if for dear life. Lennie pulled away, and Jack�s hand came in to caress his face. �Be safe, Lennie.� Lennie nodded. �See you around, Jack.� He ducked into the car and closed the door before he could lose his determination to see this through. Jack stood there and watched Lennie drive out of the garage, out of his everyday life. Continue to Chapter 4 Send me some feedback Back to the Story Index Disclaimer: These characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. I'm just borrowing them for fun, not profit. |
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