| Love is All Around |
| I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes It's written on the wind that's everywhere I go I see your face before me in everything I do You gave your promise to me and I gave mine to you You know I love you, I always will My mind's made up by the way that I feel There's no beginning, there'll be no end 'cause on my love you can depend It's written on the wind that's everywhere I go So if you really love me, come on and let it show Come on and let it show �Love is All Around� by Wet Wet Wet, from the movie Four Weddings and a Funeral conclusion of the "Love Songs" series. Timeframe: October, 1997 |
| The first hints of fall�s crispness were in the air; it smelled like college football, tailgate parties, homecoming dances. Which just made him feel old. His son was enjoying those things now, not him. Instead, he was stuck here in this office, and in a life that had somehow gotten empty. He knew what it was. Back in the spring he had lost the two most important people in his world, Lennie and Mike. Oh, not completely. Mike called every couple of weeks, and Lennie was so damned happy in his retirement that Don was actually avoiding him. He was happy for his friend, but he dearly missed the relationship they used to have. Before Lennie fell in love with Jack McCoy. Cragen sighed. Ultimately, that was it. He felt so alone. His kid was off to college; he finally had the freedom to be a little more open at home about his sexual preferences, but right now he had nobody to not have to sneak around with. Marge was gone most of this week on a long circuitous route, filling in for a couple of other flight attendants with some extra shifts to help pay the college tuition bills. So he had no kid, no wife, and no lover around at the moment. He was alone. And it was really starting to annoy him. The ringing phone startled him out of his reverie. �What?� he demanded of whoever dared to disturb his grump today. �Well, good morning to you to, Don!� Cragen couldn�t help laughing at the sarcasm that dripped from the phone line. �Good morning, Lennie. Sorry, guess I�m a little grumpy this morning.� Lennie laughed back. �Let me guess; Marge is on the road again.� Don grunted. Lennie knew him too well. �Yeah. House is just too damned quiet with just me.� �Well, tell you what. How about I take you to lunch?� Don really wasn�t sure he was in the mood for Lennie�s cheerfulness. �Uh, I don�t know, Lennie �� Lennie cut him off. �Ah, come on, Donnie. I haven�t seen you in weeks.� On the other hand, maybe some of Lennie�s upbeat attitude would help get him out of this grump. �Oh, all right. Where?� Lennie named a favorite restaurant of theirs that was not far from One Hogan Place. Don wondered if Jack would be joining them. A few hours later, Don found Lennie at the restaurant, looking even more cheerful that usual, if that was possible. They were seated, and the waitress brought them a couple of sodas. �OK, Lennie, what gives? You look like you�re gonna burst.� Lennie laughed. �Yeah, well, that sounds about right. Don, I got a big favor to ask you.� Lennie just grinned at him for a moment, until Don finally asked �What favor?� �Will you be my best man?� �WHAT?!!!� Lennie laughed at Cragen�s response. �You heard me.� Cragen shook his head, confused. �But you can�t �� �Oh, not legally, no, but who the hell cares about that?� Cragen was just flat out stunned. �How? Why?� Lennie grinned, remembering � ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jack rinsed his paintbrush in the turpentine then put it aside on a paper towel. He looked around and smiled. A little more work tomorrow and they�d be done. He got up and came over behind Lennie, his hands resting on his lover�s shoulders. Lennie leaned back against him as he began massaging. �Oh, don�t stop for three days at least �� Jack chuckled. �You just love to be pampered, don�t you?� Lennie grinned. �You bet. Somehow, back with Gloria, I was never on the receiving end �� Jack nuzzled his neck. �Lucky for you, I�m not Gloria.� �Oh, god, yes!� Jack hauled him up into his arms and they kissed, long and passionate. �No, definitely not Gloria. You�re a much better kisser.� Jack just laughed. �Come on, let�s relax a bit.� He steered Lennie toward the living room and the huge comfy sofa there. Lennie sighed as he leaned back into Jack�s arms. �Got a few calls today; the invitations are hitting people�s mailboxes.� Jack smiled. �It�s going to be a great housewarming party, Lennie. You�ve done such a marvelous job �� �Not just me, Jack. You�ve done a lot of work too �� �Yeah, but I�m just slave labor. Tell me what to do and I�ll do it. You made it all happen.� Lennie twined his fingers with Jack�s. �I just like when we do it together. WE make a good team.� Jack hugged him. �Yeah, we do.� They just sat back, relaxing for a little while. Shadow picked that moment to reappear. The gray kitten had wandered into their postage stamp sized yard a few weeks ago, and made herself at home. Lennie had finally taken her in and given her some milk. Of course, the tiny thing had hissed at him, puffing out her fur to make herself seem bigger with the ferocity that only a tiny helpless kitten could pull off. She wasn�t afraid of anything, no matter how much bigger than her it was. But after the milk, it was like Lennie was her daddy. She followed him everywhere now, which had earned her the name Shadow. Jack had to admit it was awfully cute. He had had to chase her away earlier to keep from ending up with a green kitten, and now apparently she wanted her turn as the center of attention. She hopped up onto Lennie�s chest, stomped around for 30 seconds or so, then settled down, her tail flicked back over Lennie�s face, purring loudly. �Shadow!� Lennie exclaimed, objecting to having a cat butt in his face. He began blowing puffs of air at the tail, trying to get her to move, or at least to stop tickling his nose with that tail. Of course, he wouldn�t even consider picking her up and relocating her. Jack laughed; it was really far too cute for words. It suddenly occurred to him just how homey this felt. They had really put a lot of work into this place to make it theirs, and now they were finally starting to enjoy the results. And somehow the addition of that little fur ball made them feel like a family. A real family. �Lennie? Let�s get married.� // Did I just say that? // Lennie blinked, the kitten�s tail suddenly not so fascinating. �What?� For a brief moment Jack considered sweeping it under the rug. But only a moment. // I meant it! // �Let�s get married.� A pause. �I thought that�s what you said �� Jack hugged him tightly. �I love you, Lennie. I � I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Here, in our home, with our family.� He let one hand reach up to scratch the tiny gray ears. Lennie was confused. �Jack? You know we can�t �� Jack laughed. �Of course we can. Oh, maybe it�s not legal, but for once in my life, I don�t give a damn about the law. All I care about is how you make me feel, Lennie. Just watching you play with our little girl there makes me feel something I haven�t felt in a very long time. I don�t know if I can put it in words, Lennie. Right now, everything is just perfect, and I want it to stay like this forever. I love you so much �� Lennie sat up, gently displacing the kitten, and turned to face Jack just in time to see tears slide down his cheeks. He reached out and gently brushed them away. Jack�s words had touched something deep inside him. �Jack? You�re serious about this!� Jack managed to smile through the tears. �Yeah. I am.� Lennie felt his heart crumble. �How could I say no?� The love he felt was written all over his craggy face. Jack stared at him, frozen for a moment. �Is that a yes?� Lennie laughed. �Yes!� Jack laughed too. �Yes?� �Yes, already, yes!� Lennie finally shut him up with a kiss, holding him close. After several minutes, they finally separated, gazing into each other�s eyes like a couple of love-struck idiots. Shadow saw her opening and jumped into the space between them, demanding the attention that was her due. They laughed together as Jack scooped her up and kissed the furry head. �You too, little one. You�re part of our family now too!� ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ �So we decided that since everybody was coming to the housewarming party anyway, that would be the time to do it. So what do you say, Don? Will you stand with me?� Don sat there in silence. He could see that Lennie was almost unbearably happy, and while he was glad for his friend, it just somehow seemed to rub the raw wound that his own marriage had become. He remembered when he and Marge had been that happy � a lifetime ago. He thought they�d found a miracle when she agreed that it would be good for each of them to take a lover after he realized he was gay. Thought they�d found a way to stay together. Because he really did love her. They were best friends. He just wasn�t attracted to her the way he should be. They wanted to stay together for their son, and his relationship with Lennie had made that possible. But now that relationship was over. This news just drove that point home. And now Jason was in college, and Marge had a man in every port or whatever, and he was alone. But he knew how important this was to Lennie, so he plastered a smile on his face. �Lennie, that�s amazing. Of course I�ll stand with you. Congratulations.� He reached out and squeezed Lennie�s hand, all he could allow himself in public. Lennie might be out, but he wasn�t. Lennie saw the pain flash across Don�s face before the smile locked into place. He felt so bad for his friend. It was just really colossally bad timing. To lose both Lennie and Mike at the same time his kid left home for college. Then with Marge taking extra shifts to help pay the college bills. Talk about empty nest syndrome. Lennie realized that this news would be bittersweet for his friend. Just then Cragen�s cell phone went off. He scowled as he rummaged it out of his pocket. �Yeah?� he barked into the speaker. �Donnie? Is this a bad time?� Mike Logan�s voice came through the speaker. // Great. Just what I need. Another happy love affair � // Again, Don forced cheerfulness to the surface. �Hey, Mikey! Uh, no not really� Lennie�s eyebrows raised at the greeting. He knew Don kept in touch with Mike; he himself hadn�t heard from his old partner since that note back at the end of June. �Uh huh. So you practically take my head off just for calling?� �No, no, Mike. I, uh, just got some surprising news, that�s all. Just a little distracted.� Mike laughed. �OK, whatever you say. Listen, I wanted to ask you something. We got the invite to Lennie and Jack�s housewarming party. Do you � do you think we should go? I mean, after everything, I�m not sure Jack would really want us there. Lennie sent a really nice note, but I�m not sure �� Cragen smiled softly. �Why don�t you ask him yourself?� He handed the phone to Lennie. Lennie�s heart skipped a beat as he took the phone from Don. Somehow he found his voice. �Uh, Mike? How you doin�, kiddo?� Mike thought his stomach was dropping through the floor. �L �. Lennie? Oh, god, I �. I�m sorry for interrupting � I, uh �.� �Hey, relax. It�s ok, Mike. So, how are you?� �Uh, good, Lennie. Real good.� Lennie chuckled. �So you and Ben, huh? That�s one I never would have figured.� Mike laughed. �Yeah. Three months. Longest relationship of my whole life.� Lennie smiled. �I�m glad, Mikey. It helps to have someone, doesn�t it?� �Yeah, it does.� Mike�s voice got real soft. Cragen cringed inwardly at Lennie�s words. It seemed everybody had somebody except for him � Lennie noticed Don�s reaction, and cursed himself for an idiot. He decided a change of subject was in order. �So, Mike, what did you want to ask me?� �Uh, well, we got the invite. I just wasn�t sure we were really wanted �I know I caused a lot of trouble last time.� Lennie could hear the uncertainty in Mike�s voice. �Listen, Mikey. Jack and I talked about it before we sent the invite out. We mean it. He knows how much you mean to me, and now that you�re with Ben, we hoped maybe we could all become friends. Put the past behind, you know?� Mike sighed. He could hear the sincerity in Lennie�s voice. �Yeah, I know. Been doing a lot of that, Lennie. You know, Ben and I are actually in therapy together, to try to get past that last scar left from Father Joe �� Lennie knew what Mike was talking about. �That�s great, Mike. I�m really glad you�ve got help this time.� �Yeah. Me too.� Lennie started to really believe that Mike had a chance this time. Maybe this latest news would encourage him even more. �Hey, listen, there�s something I have to tell you about the party. Plans have changed a little bit. Remember Don mentioned some surprising news when he answered the call?� Mike wondered where this was going. �Uh, yeah. News from you?� �Yeah. Jack and I are getting married at the party.� �No shit!� Mike hadn�t been expecting that. �Yeah. Right before you called, I�d just asked Don to be my best man.� Mike shook his head, dumbstruck. Then he remembered what he had seen the last time he�d seen Lennie and Jack, and he knew it was right. They belonged together. �Aw, Lennie, that�s great! Congratulations!� Lennie heard the affection in Mike�s voice, and realized he wasn�t getting any vibe at all of jealousy. �Thanks, Mike.� Mike�s head was spinning. �Uh, Lennie, can I be nosy and ask how you�re gonna do it? I mean, it�s not legal or anything.� �No, we haven�t figured out the details yet. We know we don�t want anything religious, but other than that, Jack just wants something official-sounding.� �Um, you know, Ben�s a judge now � I could ask if he�d perform the ceremony.� Lennie found he liked the idea. �That sounds pretty good. Let me run it by Jack. Can I call you back later?� �Yeah, sure.� Mike gave him the number. �Great. I�ll call you later, then. I guess I�d better give you back to Don now.� �Yeah. Lennie � it�s good to hear your voice. I miss you.� Lennie blinked back a tear. �Yeah, kiddo, I miss you too. Take care, huh?� �You too.� The waitress had brought their lunch in the meantime; Don had been nibbling as Lennie talked to Mike. And noticing an interesting looking man sitting at the bar, apparently waiting for somebody. He was roughly 50-ish, balding, dressed in a tweed jacket with patches over the elbows. There was something � interesting � about the guy. But no reason in the world to suspect he�d be interested � until their eyes met. Don felt a thrill down his spine as the guy smiled at him. He shook himself back to reality as Lennie handed him the phone back. He also promised Mike he�d call later, then sighed heavily as he pocketed the phone. Lennie looked at him, concerned. �You miss him too. Even more than I do.� Cragen just nodded and went back to pushing his food around. �Yeah,� he said finally. I guess I just feel kinda left out these days �� Lennie nodded and gave Cragen�s hand a reassuring squeeze. �Something will turn up, Donnie. It always does.� Don thought about the guy at the bar and managed a smile as the conversation turned to happier things. A few minutes later Jack walked into the restaurant, spotted them and headed toward their table. �Hey Lennie! Don, did he ask you yet?� Jack was all smiles as he bent to kiss his lover and slide into the booth beside him. �Yes he did, and I�d be honored. So who�s YOUR best man?� Jack grinned. �Well, I haven�t asked him yet � it�s just been one of those days.� Jack seemed a bit distracted, his eyes darting all around the restaurant; finally Lennie called him on it. �Jack? You looking for somebody?� �Huh? Oh, yeah, I told Skoda I�d meet him here. He�s the shrink who�s testifying in the Maynard case later this week. We have to go over some things this afternoon. Oh, there he is!� Jack stood up, waving him over. It turned out to be the man at the bar Cragen had been watching earlier. �Guys, this is Dr. Emil Skoda. Emil, Lennie Briscoe and Capt. Don Cragen.� Skoda looked at Lennie, curious about the man who had lured Jack McCoy out of the straight world. �Lennie, it�s a pleasure to finally meet you. I�ve heard a lot about you. I hear congratulations are in order?� Lennie blushed. �Thanks. But don�t take any of it seriously, Doc. He tends to exaggerate �� Skoda laughed and turned to Cragen, offering a handshake. �Captain?� Cragen nodded, suddenly nervous. �NYPD. Used to be Lennie�s boss a lifetime ago. Currently in charge of the Anti-Corruption Task Force.� �Ah. Very nice to meet you, Captain.� Again their eyes met as the handshake went on just a little too long. As Jack settled back beside Lennie, Skoda took the seat next to Cragen. A waitress appeared to take orders from the two newcomers. As she left, an awkward silence fell. Lennie jumped into the silence. �Uh, Jack, what happened to Dr. Olivet?� �She decided to return to strictly private practice. Emil�s probably going to be our regular psych expert from now on. He�s been a big help so far on this one.� Skoda smiled at the praise, but he found himself distracted by the man sitting beside him, who he had noticed earlier from the bar. About his age, balding, a bit of middle age spread. Nothing special to look at, but he had a nice smile. As they ate their lunch, he found himself drawn in by the Captain�s wit and wry sense of humor. This was definitely someone he�d like to get to know. And if he judged that look earlier correctly, they might get to know each other very well. By the time the waitress brought two more plates of food, Cragen and Skoda were deep into conversation with Jack and Lennie participating only peripherally. Jack grinned at the two of them; even he could see the sparks flying. Lennie gave him a look with eyebrow raised; Jack just shrugged and smiled. Eventually, Cragen looked at his watch. �Oh, cripes! I gotta get back to my office. Shouldn�t have been gone this long. Uh, Lennie, do you mind if I bail?� Lennie laughed. �Nah, go on back. I said lunch was on me. I�ll talk to you later.� Cragen smiled at his friend. �Thanks, Lennie. And congratulations, to both of you. I�m honored to be part of your special day.� Skoda got up to let Cragen out. �Captain? It was a pleasure meeting you �� It was all Cragen could do to keep from blushing as Skoda shook his hand. �Uh, you too, Doctor.� The hard lump in his trousers convinced him to see if Jack had the good doctor�s phone number sometime soon. As he drove back to his office, Cragen reflected that this day wasn�t turning out so bad after all � Continue on to Chapter 2 Send me some feedback Back to the Story Index Disclaimer: These characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. I'm just borrowing them for fun, not profit. |
| Chapter 1 |
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| Shadow |