Chapter 8: Survivors
Jack and Abbie share a moment of understanding.
After the intense passion of the afternoon, they had relaxed together on the bed for a while, then got up and ordered in an early dinner. Later that evening, Lennie had led him into the bathroom for his bath. He had to admit that while not having use of his right arm was annoying, this part had turned out to be something he would miss. He had never imagined anything so luxurious as having someone who loved you care for your body so intimately. This night by unspoken mutual consent, it stayed intimate without becoming passionate. He sighed as he leaned back in the chair and felt Lennie�s strong hands massaging his scalp and neck. �Where did you learn to do that?� he asked lazily.
�Dated a hairdresser once. Most sensual thing I ever felt.�
�Mmmm, I�d agree with that . . .� They had gone to bed after that, Lennie spooned behind him, content in just being together.
And that was the last thing he remembered. No nightmare. Just waking up here beside Lennie. He smiled. Yes, life was good.
A little later he felt Lennie shaking him. �Hey, sleepyhead, wake up.�
�Why?� he asked petulantly, trying to pull Lennie back down into the bed instead. Unfortunately, with only one hand, it just wasn�t working.
Lennie laughed. �Come on, you. You said Abbie was coming over this morning. You don�t want her to find you like this, do you?�
�Well, . . .� Jack paused, just long enough to make Lennie think he was seriously considering it. Lennie�s eyebrows climbed up his forehead. Jack laughed. �You�re jealous!�
�I am not!�
�Oh, yeah?�
�Well, maybe a little. She�s young and beautiful . . .�
Jack sat up, chuckled, and reached out to caress Lennie�s face. �She�s not you. And right now, you�re all I want.�
Lennie bent down to kiss him. �As much as I�d love to play with you all day, I have to get to work. Come on, let�s get you dressed.� Lennie yanked back the covers, exposing him to the chill morning air.
�HEY!�
Lennie laughed and ducked the pillow awkwardly flung at him.
Abbie had shown up about 9AM. Since she was officially �working from home� today, not planning on going in to the office, she was comfortably dressed in jeans and a sweater. As a surprise, she had brought breakfast; Jack�s favorite sweet rolls from the bakery near the DA�s office. They sat at the kitchen table, chatting over the coffee and rolls.
After catching Jack up on the office gossip, Abbie�s face got serious. �Jack, are you OK? Lennie said you�d been having nightmares . . .�
Jack saw the concern in her eyes, and smiled. It was funny; for someone who had such a reputation with his assistants, it seemed so out of place. After Claire had died, he just wasn�t interested in another relationship, and besides Jamie was pretty well taken when he met her. Then Abbie had come, and this time the dynamic was entirely different. Lennie was right � she was young and beautiful. Too young. If anything, Jack kind of hoped she saw him as a father figure. He was touched by her concern. He reached out and laid his hand over hers. �I�m fine, now, Abbie. Lennie and I had a long talk yesterday. I think I�ve finally sorted it all out.�
Abbie smiled, but there was a tinge of sadness in it. �It all doesn�t go away with one conversation, Jack. Trust me, I know.�
Jack looked at her, confused, then remembered. Abbie was a rape victim. He squeezed her hand, shaking his head. �It�s not the same, Abbie.�
�Isn�t it? Jack, somebody physically larger and more powerful than you attacks you, using pain and terror to dominate you. You�ve heard the shrinks say it time and time again; rape isn�t a sex crime, it�s a crime of violence. You were violated every bit as much as I was . . .� She was fighting back the tears.
Jack sat back, stunned. His first reaction was anger. Not only had this situation dredged up his past, it had brought back painful memories to Abbie, too. // It�s a damned good thing Owens is already dead . . . // Then her words began to sink in. She had a point; there were a lot of similarities. But he doubted he would have had nightmares just from the recent attack. Yes, it had been brutal and violent; but there was something impersonal about it that made the analogy fall apart. // Unlike the first time . . . // Remembering the day she had confessed her secret to him, he suddenly had the overwhelming urge to tell her the real reason for his nightmares.
�Abbie, you�re right. I was violated. But it didn�t happen last week. It happened when I was 14. I came home at the wrong time; my drunken asshole father was taking it out on my mom. I tried to stop him, and he spent the next 15 minutes doing pretty much what Owens did to me last week. We told everybody I fell down the stairs; I eventually convinced myself that was what really had happened, and suppressed the memory. That�s why I had nightmares. I didn�t want to remember that I had been beaten by my own father.�
Abbie�s eyes were wide with horror. �Oh, god, Jack!�
He squeezed her hand again. �It�s OK, Abbie. Once I remembered, I could get past it. Both Owens and my old man are dead. Neither one is ever going to hurt me again. But I think I do understand, now, at least a little of what you�ve been through. You move on, but nothing ever quite washes it away completely, does it?�
Abbie looked up into his eyes. �No.� was all she could manage to say.
Jack let go of her hand, got up, and came around the table to crouch in front of her. He tenderly brushed a tear from her face. �Abbie, you and me, we�re survivors. Fate threw us a couple of nasty curves, but we persevered. Please don�t let this bastard rattle you. He�s not worth the trouble.� She smiled weakly. �That�s my girl!� She took his hand between hers and squeezed.
Jack groaned as he stood up. �Sucks to get old.�
�Hey, beats the alternative, Jack.� She smiled at him and got up to go get some more coffee. �So, did you get any time yesterday to go over these briefs?�
They spent the rest of the day going over briefs and discussing the details of each case. Working with Abbie was fun; she was every bit as hotheaded and passionate about the law as he was. They challenged each other, and ended up with good solid logic. Jack felt good to be back at work; he found he was finally really looking forward to going back to the office on Monday. The thought of going back to the place he had been attacked no longer scared him, now that he knew where the real demon lay.
They didn�t even realize how late it had gotten when Lennie walked in at about 7PM. They were arguing about a case and almost didn�t notice him. Lennie chuckled and raised his voice to be heard. �Counselors! Hello! Court is adjourned for today!�
Jack did one of his classic double-takes, glancing at the kitchen clock then back at Lennie, and laughed. �Hey, Lennie! Sorry about that, we lost track of time.�
Abbie also looked at the clock, stunned. �Oh, god, Jack, I�ve got to run if I�m going to make it to aerobics class tonight.�
Jack followed her to the door, helping her with her coat as best he could with one arm. She turned to him. �And Jack? Thanks for telling me.� She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, then quickly ducked out the door.
Jack blushed as Lennie stared at him with one eyebrow cocked high. �You told her about us?�
Jack decided to let Lennie squirm for a bit. �Would that bother you?�
Lennie sighed. �Not really; Abbie�s a good kid.�
Jack decided to let him off the hook. �Actually, she was referring to my old man. This thing with Owens really shook her. She was attacked a while back, told me about it on one of our first cases together. Today was my turn to share. Fellow survivors and all that.�
Lennie was taken aback. �Oh,� was all he could say.
Jack smiled at him as he crossed the room and reached out to caress Lennie�s face. �It�s OK, Lennie. Abbie and I are both pretty tough; we�re fine. As to �us,� I probably will tell her sometime next week; today just didn�t seem like the right time. I know this could cause problems for you if it gets out, Lennie. Believe me, I�m used to keeping my work and personal lives quite separate. In almost 30 years in the DA�s office, I�m not sure I�ve ever dated somebody I wasn�t �not supposed� to. But we can trust Abbie, Lennie.�
Lennie smiled and wrapped his arms around his lover. �You know, for some reason I�m just not that worried, Jack. People have been speculating about us for so long and we�ve been denying it for so long, that I don�t think anybody would believe us if we tried to tell the truth now. But you�re right about Abbie, and I have a feeling Ed will figure things out soon enough � he is a detective after all, and might even just turn out to be a pretty good one.�
�Well, he�s had a good teacher,� Jack observed as he pulled Lennie�s head down into a kiss, effectively ending the conversation.
Continue on to Chapter 9
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