| Physician, Heal Thyself |
| Saturday morning, Emil woke to the smell of bacon frying. Crawling out of bed, he found Jack in the kitchen, already dressed, scrambling up a big mess of eggs while the bacon sizzled. "Coffee's ready." Jack nodded toward the small coffee pot, and Emil took the hint, pouring two cups and bringing them to the table. He fixed his with just a bit of milk to cut the bitterness. In short order, Jack brought over two plates loaded with bacon and eggs. "Didn't know you could cook, Jack!" Emil smiled appreciatively as he dug in. The eggs weren't even rubbery. Of course, the fact that they were probably under a chicken just a couple of days ago at most probably didn't hurt. Jack stirred some sugar into his coffee. "I can't. Breakfast isn't cooking." Emil chuckled. Funny how people divided that up. "I don't know. Hot stove, raw eggs turned into this delightful mess. Sounds like cooking to me!" "Just don't ask me to cook dinner. You'll be disappointed, trust me." They sat in silence for a while, making the bacon and eggs disappear. "So what's on the agenda for today, Mr. Cruise Director?" Emil asked. Jack chuckled at the appellation. He had done all the planning. But he had something extra to fit in today. "Before we ride anywhere too far, I want to get my bike checked out. When I checked us in yesterday, the clerk told me there's a local garage not far from here." Emil nodded. "Good point. Best get that taken care of." He got up and carried the dishes to the small sink, automatically cleaning up since Jack had cooked. Finally, they were both showered and ready to go. They got back on to the main road, heading up one exit and getting off onto another local road. Just down the road about half a mile they saw it. The sign said "Law's Garage." Jack had to chuckle at the apropos name. It wasn't a modern, shiny service station. There were dozens of cars, trucks, and heavy equipment in various states of disrepair parked all around the place, taking up almost the whole block except for the small ranch house at the end of the block. They pulled into the parking area in front of the open garage door and peered in. Inside, the place looked like there were geologic eras worth of grease and grime. The cinderblock walls were lined with tools, some of them old but still in good working order, others shiny and new. A small desk in the back corner boasted a PC, which looked strangely out of place here. And a huge pile of paperwork. There was a car in one of the two bays, and a mechanic stood beside it, bent over the engine. He finished what he was doing then turned toward the newcomers. "Hey. Can I help you?" A grimy finger pushed his glasses back into place. Jack nodded. "Yeah. You know anything about motorcycles?" The mechanic � his uniform name tag said 'Jim' � grinned. "Yeah. Don't get too many around here, though." When Jim smiled, Emil immediately noticed. He was tall, about 6'2", with blond hair and startlingly blue eyes behind those glasses. And that smile � it was like he was enjoying a private joke. It just lit up his whole face. The rest of his body wasn't bad, either. Slender without being skinny, the sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to reveal muscular arms deeply tanned from having those sleeves rolled up all summer. He looked to be somewhere in his 30's, that baby-fine blond hair already creeping back from his face a bit. A neatly trimmed reddish-blond beard made him look rugged; without it, he'd have had a baby face. The whole package hit Emil like a ton of bricks, and he really couldn't have explained why. Jack and Jim had gone out to take a look at the bike in question, and Emil followed automatically. He watched the play of muscles as Jim squatted down to get a better look at the bike. Owner and mechanic were deep into discussion of the problem. Finally Jim stood up. "Yeah, I see what the problem is. I can fix it, but I doubt if I can get to it today. I'm guessing you're not from around here?" Jack realized they had entirely skipped the introductions. "No, we're from New York. Jack McCoy." He offered his hand. Jim paused to wipe his grimy hand on his pants before shaking Jack's. He turned to the other guy, who had been pretty quiet during the business end of things. He wondered what these two city boys were doin' out here together? It could be just an escape from the women sort of trip � "Emil Skoda." Their eyes met at the same time their hands did, and Jim immediately knew. This one definitely. There was hunger in his eyes. Older, but still quite fit. Balding, quite a bit further gone than Jim was, but he knew he was headed there himself in not too many years. An open, expressive face, which was clearly expressing interest. And a very rich, sexy deep voice. Jim let that sexy little half smile cross his lips. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Skoda. I'm Jim Law." "Actually, it's Doctor. But please, just Emil." Their handshake lasted just a little longer than it should have. Jim nodded, accepting the informality. "Emil." He turned his attention towards the brand new Harley. "Nice bike. Didn't let your friend here talk you into a rice burner, huh?" Skoda laughed, shooting Jack a glance. The attorney was scowling. "Tell you the truth, he didn't even try all that hard." Jack shrugged. "You'd made up your mind before you even asked me, Emil." Jim watched the two of them, trying to work out the dynamic. He was definitely getting a vibe from Emil; but Jack didn't seem to be in the game. Maybe there was an opportunity here; lord knew there weren't many of them coming his way. "How long you fellas out here for?" Even though the statement included both of them, he was clearly asking Emil. "We've got a cabin down by the falls for the week." Jack cut in. "Figured we'd do some riding around the area. When do you think you can have my bike done?" Jim had to keep the irritation at Jack's intrusion off his face; you don't piss off the paying customers. "Well, we're closed tomorrow, but maybe I can work on it somewhere in there." He walked back inside the main garage to the desk, rummaging in the drawer for a business card. He handed it to Jack, but his eyes were on Emil. "Give me a call first thing Monday, say after 9 o'clock." Jack sighed. He wasn't happy being without his bike for a full day, but he'd rather get it fixed by somebody who obviously knew bikes and had a certain passion for them. He was surprised by the aura of quiet competence that came from Jim. He obviously knew what he was doing, and Jack trusted him. Jim turned to Emil. "Maybe when you come back for Jack's bike, you could leave yours here? I do custom paint work � that red paint scheme just cries out for flames, don't it?" He pointed to a side table, where a motorcycle tank and helmet sat, obviously having been recently painted. Gold flames on a black background, very impressive. Emil raised an eyebrow. "Thought you said you didn't get many cycles out here?" Jim laughed, and the sound sent a thrill down Emil's spine. "That belongs to my buddy Toby. He changes color schemes every year." Emil had to admit he was tempted. It just sort of fit with the 'mid-life crisis' mindset. "I'll think about it, Jim." Jim gave him that grin again. "You do that, Emil. You've got my number. Call any time." Emil realized it was an invitation, and not just for a paint job. He suddenly felt very nervous. "Sure, Jim. Thanks." Jack had watched the exchange curiously. There was a definite undercurrent there. If he didn't know better � but then, how well did he know the good doctor? Something Skoda had said the night before came back to him; how his wife had been more adventurous in the bedroom when they'd been young. Just how adventurous was Emil? As Jim went back into the garage to finish working on that car, Emil settled onto the bike. Jack stood beside him. "Emil? You up to driving tandem?" Jack was by far the more experienced rider; Emil knew he should let Jack drive and take the passenger seat himself. But at the moment, he definitely didn't want Jack sitting in front of him. No, that would be a bad thing. "Hey, come on, Jack. It's my new toy!" Jack had to laugh at the whiny 16-year old logic. "All right, all right!" He put on his helmet and threw his leg over the back of the bike. He settled in, his long legs balancing to the ground as Emil found the two-person balance point, and they took off. Feeling that big engine rumbling beneath him only encouraged the hard-on making Skoda's jeans feel a couple of sizes too small. Jim had wanted him; that was pretty clear. Feeling Jack sitting so close behind him, the attorney's hands on his waist, wasn't helping any either. He didn't want this obsession with gay sex to mess up the first real friendship he'd had in years. He decided that the best way to deal with it was to imagine it was Jim sitting behind him, not Jack, and focus his fantasies on the blond mechanic. Emil was about to turn off the main road towards their cabin when Jack's voice sounded in his ears. "Don't go back, Emil. No reason to lose the whole day. You're handling tandem well; let's just cruise around a bit!" The attorney's rough, gravelly voice startled Skoda; he'd half convinced himself it was Jim back there, the mechanic's big, rough hands on his waist, inching forward, teasing him. He was so hard, painfully hard, he wanted to go back to the cabin and disappear into the woods somewhere. But he couldn't let Jack know what was going on. He was determined not to ruin this new friendship. So he kept the bike on the main road, and tried to keep his voice steady. "OK, Jack, where to?" "It's open road, Emil. Anywhere that looks interesting!" And so they rode. They followed PA route 209 northward, which ran pretty much parallel to the Delaware river, through the 'national park' area of Delaware Water Gap. It really was beautiful country, the weather was perfect, and the fall colors were at peak. As they rode, Emil tried to get his thoughts � and his body � under control. He wondered what a handsome young man like Jim would want with him, when it suddenly occurred to him that even though they were only a couple of hours outside the city, they were really in a different world. This was rural, small-town America, and he suspected attitudes here about homosexuality weren't quite as liberal as he was used to. He wondered if any of Jim's friends or family knew he was gay? Or if he had to wait for the occasional out-of-town customer to set off his 'gaydar.' Geez, maybe he owed it to the poor kid, getting his hopes up like that! He wondered how he could manage to make a date with Jim one night without letting Jack know what was really going on. Damn. This was not working. His damned sex drive had been so low these past couple of years that he'd gone months without thinking about it. But now he was acting like a horny teenager. He knew it was the divorce, the whole mid-life-crisis thing. Knowing didn't matter; the itch wanted to be scratched. Eventually they came to a little town called Port Jervis. It was right at the point where PA, NJ, and NY all meet. They found a nice little place for lunch, and Emil made a beeline for the men's room. As he locked the door behind him, he found himself inordinately pleased that men didn't do that stupid thing women did, going to the restroom in flocks. He unzipped his jeans, sending them down around his ankles, and sat down. His cock was still at full attention. He leaned back against the tank and grabbed it, closing his eyes and picturing Jim's blond head bobbing over his lap. He was so wound up it didn't take long at all. Panting heavily, he reached for some toilet paper to clean himself up. Jack found a table and sat down. When Emil took longer than expected, Jack flagged another tick mark on the suspicion he was forming. He'd noticed that Emil had seemed preoccupied ever since they left the garage. For the moment, he let it slide. That was the nice thing about riding in weather like this. You could handle the bike almost without thinking, and let your brain go off and deal with other things. Jack knew from experience that Emil had to have a lot on his mind right now. And later on, he'd give him another opportunity to talk about it. He'd talk when he was good and ready, and not before. When Emil returned, his face was still slightly flushed, and from that point forward he was much more his usual talkative self. The rest of the day passed quickly, as they headed back south. They picked up a bucket of fried chicken for dinner, and Jack stopped back at the State Store for some more scotch. After dinner, Jack poured them a couple of drinks, and thought carefully about how to do this. If he was right about what he'd seen this afternoon, Emil might be afraid to talk about what was really wrong with his marriage. Jack had to get him past that. He opted for the direct approach. "Emil, can I ask you something?" "Hmm? Sure." "This morning, at the garage. What did you think of Jim?" Sure enough, that involuntary response, the flush creeping up the good doctor's neck. "He � seemed to be a competent mechanic." Jack nodded, suppressing a smile. "I think he kind of liked you. And unless I miss my guess, it was mutual." He cocked one eyebrow, making it a question, keeping his expression open. Skoda gulped at his drink. Jack's expression didn't look judgmental. But he had to be sure. "Would it be a problem if it was?" Jack shook his head. "Of course not. Is that part of the divorce thing?" Emil stared into his drink. He found he really wanted someone to know the truth. It looked like Jack would be able to handle it. Downing the rest of his drink, he continued staring at the empty glass as he spoke. "Back when Suzanne and I first met, we were both what you might call adventurous sorts, in all of life, but especially in bed. We'd try anything once, twice if we weren't sure. And I � I've always swung both ways. Which she loved. Hell, Jack, most men's fantasy is to have two women at once. She got to have two men at once." He finally looked up, waiting for a reaction. Jack just nodded. "It's ok, Emil. I'm not going to run screaming into the night or abandon you here. Go on." Skoda hadn't realized how much he'd been afraid of Jack's reaction. When he found only acceptance, it was almost too much. His hands were shaking as he gulped at his drink, which had somehow gotten refilled. Finally he pulled himself together enough to continue. "Well, over the years, we got complacent. Worked too hard, everything I told you last night was true. I guess for a while now I've been wanting something more. I never did cheat on her. Then � something happened a couple of weeks ago that gave me an idea. One of my patients made a pass at me. Now that's pretty common, patients often 'fall in love' with their doctors. We're trained to deal with it, and usually I don't have a problem gently refusing. But this time was different �" "The patient who made a pass at me was male, Jack. I haven't thought about it in years. But when Tim made a pass at me, I remembered. I thought if she was bored with me in the bedroom, maybe bringing in someone else we could both enjoy could re-light the fire." Jack shook his head. He wasn't a trained psychotherapist, but he could see the disaster coming. "Didn't work, did it?" Skoda finished his glass again, and Jack topped it off again. "I, uh, I planned a romantic evening for the two of us to talk about it. Of course she was late getting home that Friday night, working with her 'kids,' and she was tired. It didn't go at all as I had planned. When she didn't even want to make love to me, I asked her if she was bored with our marriage. She said that was normal for couples our age. I suggested that maybe we could try something different and exciting, like we used to do when we were younger. Maybe a threesome, we could find a man who turned us both on � but before I could finish the sentence she freaked. She couldn't believe I'd even suggest such a thing. We were responsible adults, we couldn't do such things! It was disgusting. She thought I'd outgrown all that depravity long ago. Suddenly I wasn't the man she thought I was. But it's not like she didn't know! And participate, willingly, no, eagerly! She 'grew up' and I didn't? Oh, come on!" Skoda grew more and more agitated as he went on. Denial was moving right into anger. Jack let him vent, knowing the frustration. Skoda had been married a lot longer than he had, and apparently had a lot more emotionally invested in the relationship. It made sense that it would be even harder to give up. And part of his mind was still dealing with the revelation of Skoda's bisexuality. So at the moment it was easier all around to just let the man vent. Skoda was standing up now, pacing. "Then she starts into a tirade about every little thing that was wrong with me, and how it's all because I never grew up. We were screaming at each other, and I suddenly realized that it was over. It had really been over a long time ago, I just never realized it. I felt like a damned fool for even trying to reignite that spark. I just stopped screaming and went into the bedroom and started packing. As I walked out the door, she warned me never to come back." Once the anger played out, Emil just stood there, not sure what to do. Jack got up, coming over to refill his drink, and steer the shattered man back over to the couch. Moving to stand behind him, Jack began massaging the tight shoulders. "Easy, Emil. It's all over now. Just try to relax." Skoda nodded and again gulped at the drink. He knew he was drinking too much, but right now that didn't matter. His hands slowly stopped shaking as he relaxed into the massage. As the tension left his body, he began to feel limp, like a wet noodle, totally wrung out. The alcohol hit him, hard. His head bobbed down onto his chest. As Jack felt him drifting off, he ended the massage. "Come on. It's been a long day. Let's get some sleep." It took some work, but he got Skoda onto his feet and back into the bedroom. Jack managed to pull back the sheets on the far bed, while the doctor fumbled at his belt trying to get undressed. Eventually, Jack took over, got him undressed and into bed. // He's gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow � // Jack got undressed and into the other bed, rolling onto his side so he could see his roommate. The good doctor's face was relaxed in sleep, looking years, even decades younger. A divorce was a hard thing to live through, no matter what. He was glad he'd gotten Skoda to open up. But what a surprise he'd revealed! Jack found himself taking a good long look at the sleeping man. Not the kind of man most people would consider particularly good looking, and yet he had a certain appeal. // Bisexual, huh? // Jack had always been just a little bit curious when it came to gay sex, but he'd never had the nerve to actually do anything about it. He didn't want to take advantage of his friend's vulnerable state at the moment, but he had to admit he was intrigued. Enough to start to feel it in his groin. But he knew if he let his mind wander down that path, he wasn't going to get any sleep tonight. So for the moment, he turned away and ignored it. Fortunately, he was tired enough after that long day to get away with it, and soon fell asleep. Continut on to Chapter 4 Back to the Story Index Send me some feedback Disclaimer: These characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. I'm just borrowing them for fun, not profit. |
| Chapter 3 |