| Lennie woke up the next morning feeling better than he had since he got out of the hospital. For a moment he couldn�t figure out why, until he remembered Don crawling into bed with him. He had actually fallen asleep without lying awake for two hours worrying about everything. He wasn�t surprised to find no sign of his friend; Cragen would have left early in the morning to go home, shower and get ready for work. Still, the simple gesture had been exactly what he had needed. He remembered feeling safe, secure in Cragen�s arms. Only one thing could have possibly been better � That train of though reminded him of their conversation last night. Jack knew. And he still kept coming back. It didn�t necessarily mean he was open to what Lennie really wanted, but at least he valued their friendship enough to get past it. And maybe � Lennie shook his head, not daring to go there. He rolled out of bed, put on his robe, and ducked into the bathroom. He took care of the basics, downed his morning meds, then went in search of coffee. A couple of years ago he had found the next best thing in coffee � coffee bags. Worked just like tea bags, one bag, one cup. Hell of a lot better than instant. Just dunk one in a mug, nuke it for about 2 minutes, and voila � hot coffee for one. He took the coffee into the living room and sank down onto the couch. Just for the sake of some noise, he turned on the tv, circled through the channels once, and gave up. He really wasn�t home often enough to make it worth getting cable, but boy, if they called today with one of those �one month free� offers he might just take it. The book Cathy had given him was still sitting on the end table, but he wasn�t in the mood to read right now either. He ran his fingers through his hair, remembering that after his doctor�s appointment today he�d hopefully finally be able to take a shower. Now THAT he was looking forward to �. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jack was staring out the window of his office. He hated when he got into moods like this. Nothing was holding his attention. They�d gotten the conviction on a big case yesterday, and right now there was nothing really pressing. Jamie was working with Curtis and Profaci on something new, but it would be a while before that demanded his attention. Curtis and Profaci. That just sounded wrong. He wondered how Lennie was doing. Should he call? Did he really want to? // of course you do // The phone rang, interrupting his reverie. �McCoy.� �Hey, Jack, it�s Lennie.� The sound of the detective�s voice sent a thrill down his spine. He could feel his pulse quickening. �Lennie! How are you doing?� �Getting there. I, uh, came home yesterday.� That was unexpected. �Why?� �Three little girls make an awful lot of noise. I think I�m so far past that stage I�ve lost my tolerance.� Jack laughed. �So you came home for some peace and quiet?� �Yeah. But it�s a little too quiet.� Jack realized Lennie was giving him an opening. He decided to take it. �Could you use some company tonight?� Lennie sighed with relief as Jack took the opening. �God, yes.� Jack chuckled. �Tell you what � I�ll even bring dinner. Chinese ok?� �Perfect.� Jack took Lennie�s order and promised to be there around 7. He hung up the phone and went back to staring out the window. But now his thoughts were focused on one thing. Should he say something tonight? How much? He knew Lennie would still need quite a while to heal from his injuries. He wondered where this would lead in the meantime � ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The warm water rushing over him felt so good Lennie considered never getting out. The incision was healing nicely, and the bruise on his head was down to simple black and blue; the Technicolor explosion was finally fading. But the doctor had warned him not to rush things; he still needed a good long while to recover before doing anything more strenuous than walking up the stairs to his apartment. He had to laugh remembering the doctor�s admonition of �no sports,� said with a knowing wink. The man was an MD, for chrissakes, can�t he just say �no sex?� He sighed. Jack was coming over in a little while. He was afraid of what might happen, but he had to know, one way or the other. Most likely, Jack wasn�t interested in anything beyond friendship, but had decided to not let Lennie�s desire get in the way. Could he live with that? But what if � he almost couldn�t bear to think about the other option. Especially since he was in no shape to do anything about it just yet. Truth be told, the doctor didn�t have to worry. Lennie�s libido was well and truly asleep. Even last night in bed with Don, he hadn�t felt the slightest twinge of desire, just the need for comfort and contact. He figured his body would tell him when it was ready � He reached for the shampoo, and quickly ran into a problem. Lifting his left arm even a little hurt like hell. This was going to be more complicated than he thought. But he�d be damned if he was going to let it get in the way! After a bit more effort than he had planned, he got out of the shower, feeling really clean for the first time in ages. Of course drying the hair wasn�t any easier than washing it. He managed to get most of the water away, dragged a comb through it and declared victory, then got dressed and went out to the living room. Put some light jazz on the stereo and settled in with Cathy�s book. He was surprised how quickly he got wrapped up in the story of a human boy raised by Martians, then returned home as an adult. Mike looked at human customs with the perspective of an outsider, making the reader see how silly some of them really were. Maybe there was more to this sci-fi stuff than pure escapist fantasy! Not that there was anything wrong with pure escapist fantasy, either, especially right now. He was still reading when a knock at the door startled him back to the here and now. He glanced at his watch and grinned, getting up to answer it. Jack stood there, suddenly nervous as Lennie opened the door and invited him in. He glanced around as he entered the small living room. Not much furniture, just a couch and chair that didn�t really match, but then he guessed Lennie didn�t spend a whole lot of time here anyway. He did notice the stereo and extensive collection of CD�s, and the book on the table. Lennie saw him eyeing the music collection. �My mother�s fault. She got me hooked early. It�s my one extravagance.� Jack laughed. �I can think of worse things to be addicted to! You�ve got some nice stuff here. A rather � wide � selection.� His eyebrow went up as he spotted some piece of the eclectic mix that didn�t make sense to him. Lennie feigned hurt. �What, you don�t like disco?� �Uh, no �� Lennie laughed. �There�s one good track on there that I love, the rest is pure crap. Come on, let�s eat. I�m starving.� Lennie led him over to the kitchen/dining table and they started sorting through the cartons. Kung Pao chicken for Lennie, Moo Shu Pork for Jack. A boatload of those crunchy noodles for munching on with hot mustard. They set to with enthusiasm. Jack nodded toward the book on the coffee table. �You reading �Stranger?�� Lennie looked up, surprised that Jack would know the book. �Yeah. My kid loaned it to me � she�s always reading that sci-fi stuff, thought maybe I�d enjoy a little escapism right now. You know it?� Jack nodded. �Are you kidding? That book was required reading in the 60�s. Almost a counterculture bible.� Lennie gave him a look that said he didn�t believe Jack knew squat about the 60�s counterculture. Jack laughed. �Don�t look at me like that, Lennie. I went to college in the 60�s, protested the war, I�ve got street cred! There�s more to me than an uptight attorney!� Lennie had to laugh. �I guess I missed all that. Went to Vietnam to get money to pay for college, then never finished.� �Well, what do you think of the book now?� �I have to admit I�m drawn in. I guess over the years I�ve become an observer of people, and Mike�s perspective as an outsider appeals to me.� Jack nodded. �If you finish that one, I�ve got some others by the same author. He�s considered one of the best ever in the SF genre.� Lennie laughed. �Anything to avoid daytime TV!� Dinner conversation was easy and relaxed; once again, they were both surprised at how easy it was for them to talk. When they were done, leftovers stashed in the fridge and dishes in the dishwasher, they wandered back into the living room. Lennie sat on the couch, expecting Jack to take the chair. Jack surprised him by sitting beside him on the couch. �Lennie, there�s something I want to talk to you about.� He could see that Jack was suddenly very nervous. �I think I know, Jack. Had a long talk with Don yesterday. He told me what you heard.� McCoy�s eyes closed, and he took a deep breath. �Is it true, Lennie? Are you � do you have feelings for me?� Lennie just couldn�t read him, had no idea how he was going to respond. �Yeah. Does that bother you?� Jack finally looked up at him. �Sort of. But in a good way �� Lennie couldn�t believe what he was hearing. �Jack � ? Don said you stormed out of the hospital. But you came back. It�s been driving me nuts, Jack. Why did you come back?� �I was upset at first, I won�t deny that. It just shook up my whole world view. But it triggered something, Lennie. I was sitting in some bar, staring at a glass of scotch. Thinking about my life. I haven�t been with anyone since Claire, haven�t wanted anyone. More than once I�ve wondered if I could ever love another woman after that. It�s been so long since I had someone to love � so this time my subconscious answered by asking if I could ever love a man. I tried real hard to not think about it, but it kept nagging me. I had to come back �� Lennie stared at him, his heart pounding. �Jack, I need to know. Is this just gratitude talking, or are you interested �?� Jack looked into Lennie�s eyes, and admitted the truth, to himself as well. �I don�t know if this was born purely of gratitude or if it was something I always had inside me and never recognized. At this point, I don�t think I�ll ever really know the answer to that. But wherever they came from, these feelings are real, Lennie. Yeah, I�m interested.� Lennie let go of the breath he hadn�t realized he�d been holding. He reached out and very gently took Jack�s hand. Jack smiled at the contact, squeezing back. They sat there for a moment, enjoying the first contact. Lennie�s thumb traced back and forth over the back of Jack�s hand as they smiled shyly at each other. Lennie finally took a deep breath and spoke. �So what do you want to do about this?� Jack squeezed his hand again. �Given your condition, we probably shouldn�t DO anything just yet. Besides, I�m nervous enough with just this.� Lennie laughed softly. �Yeah, doctor today reminded me �no sports.� Why would an MD have to use a euphemism?� Jack smiled. �Hey, they�re human too.� Lennie shrugged. �Truth be told, Jack, he didn�t have to tell me. It�s weird; I�ve wanted this for so long, but right now my body isn�t responding at all. I guess I�ll know when I�m ready �� Jack reached out with his free hand and gently caressed Lennie�s face. �It�s OK, Lennie. It�s going to take a while for me to get used to this anyway. You�ll let me know when you�re ready for more.� Lennie nodded, and again they sat quietly for a few minutes, just touching. His fingers found the heavy gold signet ring Jack always wore, before sliding up Jack�s forearm, under the rolled up cuffs, fingers tracing a random pattern. Again Lennie broke the silence. �Can I ask you something?� Jack yanked his brain back into gear; he had been lost in the delightful sensations. HIS libido wasn�t dormant � �Sure.� �In the hospital, the night I woke up. You were kind of out of it. I swore I heard you softly calling my name right before I woke up.� Jack blushed. �I might have.� Lennie noticed the red on his neck. �Jack?� He sighed and decided to confess. �I, uh, � I was having a fantasy.� Lennie�s eyebrows tried to crawl off his forehead. �About me?� Jack nodded. �I guess my subconscious wanted to try out the idea.� �Apparently you liked it?� A deep breath. �Yeah.� �Oh!� The idea surprised him so much his hand stopped moving. Jack laughed. �Lennie, you ok?� He took the opportunity to slide his own fingers over Lennie�s wrist, up his arm. �I really wasn�t expecting that.� �That makes two of us. Again, they smiled at each other, enjoying the newness of it all. This time it was Jack�s turn to break the silence. �Lennie, why me?� �Huh?� Jack shook his head. �What happened to make you fall for me?� �Oh.� He sighed. �You remember a night about a year ago? At the pub down the street from the 27?� �Yeah. Was wondering if it was that night.� Lennie nodded. �Something just clicked, Jack. It was so easy talking to you, so comfortable. You were relaxed, laughing, smiling. You never smile at work, do you know that? I�ve been watching ever since then. Which is a shame, because I love that smile.� Jack blushed. �That�s it? You fell in love with my smile?� Lennie shrugged. �Not exactly. But it�s as good an explanation as any. There was just something about that whole evening. I can�t explain it any further, Jack.� Jack chuckled. �I didn�t realize it at the time, but you�re right. That fantasy I was having when you woke up? It was a different ending for that evening.� Lennie bit his lip. �Jack? What would you have done if I�d made a pass that night?� He shook his head. �Run screaming, like I did when I realized what Cragen was saying. I wouldn�t have even considered the idea.� �But now �� �Lennie, I�ve had almost two weeks to think about this. Don�t worry � I�m not going to run screaming now.� His hand slid back down Lennie�s arm, twining their fingers together. Lennie just nodded; he was feeling almost choked up with the happiness. He thought about slipping his arm around Jack�s shoulders, but realized he was on the wrong side; he�d have to use his left arm, which wasn�t doing �up� at the moment. He found his voice. �Um, Jack?� �Hmm?� �This is really nice. But, uh, maybe a little more? I was going to put my arm around you, but I can�t lift it yet.� �Oh! OK.� He let go of Lennie�s hand and draped his arm around Lennie�s shoulders. Lennie sighed and leaned against him. �That�s nice.� �Mmmm.� Jack�s response was almost a purr. Feeling Lennie�s body was definitely having an effect on him. But his response wasn�t all physical. He felt a strange contentment here, a tenderness he hadn�t expected, unlike anything he�d ever felt before. After a while, he looked down and realized Lennie had fallen asleep, leaning against him. He really was quite a ways from full recovery. Jack let him lay there for quite a while, watching the slow rise and fall of his chest. He wasn�t sure where this was going to lead, but he was more sure than ever that he wanted to follow it all the way. Finally, he gently shook his sleeping companion. �Lennie? I�ve got to get going.� Lennie�s eyes blinked as he woke up. �Jack?� A gentle laugh. �You fell asleep.� �Oh.� The arm around his shoulders squeezed in a gentle hug. �Come on, you need to get to bed and I need to hit the road.� They reluctantly got up from the couch and walked toward the door. �Thanks for coming over, Jack. I, uh, I�m glad we finally got to talk about this �� Jack nodded, smiling. �Me too, Lennie. You, uh, want some company tomorrow?� �That would be great. But my turn to buy dinner. There�s a great deli just around the corner that delivers.� Jack laughed. �You�ve got a deal.� They looked at each other as if not quite sure what to do next, then Lennie leaned in and gently kissed him. Just a simple press of lips, leaving both their hearts pounding. ��Night, Jack.� Lennie said softly. ��Night, Lennie.� His hands trembled as he closed and locked the door behind Jack. It was real, it was happening. He turned out the lights, and went back to his bedroom, tossing his clothes aside. His heart was still pounding from that kiss. He couldn�t believe it; this was better than he had dreamed it could be. A few moments ago he had been sound asleep in Jack�s arms, but now in his own bed, sleep eluded him again. Too many thoughts, too much strong emotion. Was there a chance he could actually make this work, or would it end up in disaster like his two marriages and Mike? Would Jack�s interest last, or was it really just a reaction to Lennie saving his life? Did it matter? But oh, how wonderful this evening had been! Just holding hands, like a schoolboy on his first date. A part of his brain registered that despite everything, he wasn�t aroused. Why did he have to be injured now? He rolled over, wincing as his injury complained. Damn his body! Despite all the doubts that tried to muscle in to his tired brain, one thing kept coming back. That kiss. It was real. He�d never been so happy in all his life. He just hoped that tomorrow he wouldn�t wake up and find this had all been a dream � Continue to "Chapter 6" Return to the Story Index Send me some feedback Disclaimer: These characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. I'm just borrowing them for fun, not profit. |
| Unexpected Song (by Andrew Lloyd Weber, from Song and Dance) I have never felt like this, For once I'm lost for words, Your smile has really thrown me. This is not like me at all. I never thought I'd know the kind of love you've shown me. Now no matter where I am, no matter what I do, I see your face appearing. Like an unexpected song that only we are hearing. I don't know what's going on, can't work it out at all, whatever made you choose me? I just can't believe my eyes, you look at me as though you couldn't bear to lose me. Now no matter where I am, no matter what I do, I see your face appearing. Like an unexpected song that only we are hearing. |
| Unexpected Song |
| Chapter 5 |