| A Matter of Trust |
| He paced the sidewalk in front of his apartment building nervously. Jamie was scheduled to pick him up to take him to the courthouse. This was it, his day on the stand. More than anything, he wanted to get this over with. He truly understood now the conflicted feelings of the victims he'd had to badger over the years to 'do the right thing.' He wondered just how hard he'd be willing to push the next time it came up � especially with a rape victim. Finally the expected car pulled up to the curb and he climbed into its air conditioned interior. Jamie eyed him critically before pulling back into traffic. "How are you holding up?" Jack sighed. "Was doing fine until Lennie went home last night." She smiled. "You two are getting pretty close again, aren't you?" He took a deep breath. "Yeah." "It's OK, Jack. You ARE allowed to find some happiness, you know." Shaking his head, he ran a handkerchief over his forehead. He hadn't realized how hot it had gotten before she had gotten there. But that was life in New York City in late August � 90 degrees and 90% humidity before 9AM. He didn't say anything, concentrating instead on calming himself as he stuffed the hanky back into a pocket. Lennie was already in the courtroom when they arrived, sitting right behind the prosecution table. He slid over to make room for Jack as Jamie took her place as second chair. Liz Donnelly was already there, looking glacial. She turned to him. "Jack? You ready for this?" "As ready as I'll ever be, Liz." She nodded. Just then, the courtroom doors opened and Blaise was led in by a guard, Donaldson beside him. He grinned at Jack, obviously expecting that his lawyer was going to tear McCoy's reputation to shreds. That was his first tactical mistake. Lennie's words came back to him. This was his game. Ok, he was playing a different position. But it was still his game. He knew the rules and how to bend them. And if there was one thing everybody agreed about Jack McCoy, it was that he loved to win. Blaise's challenge hadn't backed him down; it had inflamed his competitive spirit. A bailiff entered and intoned, "All rise. The court of the Hon. Judge Daniel R. Feldman is now in session." The judge entered and banged the gavel. "Please be seated." He looked at Donnelly. She stood and spoke. "The state calls John James McCoy to the stand." His knees felt weak as he stood up, but he'd be damned if he was going to show it. He approached the witness stand, his voice strong and confident as he took the oath. Donnelly looked him in the eye. "Mr. McCoy, please tell the court what happened on the night of Saturday July 13th." Somehow, his resolve held. His voice was steady as he told the story one last time. "As Detective Briscoe stated earlier, our physical relationship had ended the previous weekend. I wanted to put it behind me, so I went out to the Jade Palace hoping to meet someone who could take my mind off that situation. I was surprised to see Det. Briscoe there, talking to the club owner, Damian Jade. I guess I was a little jealous seeing them together, even though I had been the one to end our relationship. For a long time I watched them, and when they left together, I decided that it was time to stop feeling sorry for myself and find a companion for the rest of the evening." "So you weren't looking for another 'relationship.' " Jack shook his head. "Prior to Det. Briscoe, I had always kept my sexual liaisons at an emotional distance. I wanted to get back to a simple, uncomplicated sort of encounter. And although I usually prefer more mature partners, that night I guess I selected someone as different from Det. Briscoe as possible. I made eye contact with the defendant, we identified ourselves by first names only." "Is that common?" Jack nodded. "The � culture of the bar was described by Mr. Jade on Friday. Anonymous sex with a partner you never expect to see again is a lot simpler than a relationship when you can't publicly acknowledge that relationship." "And you are absolutely sure the defendant is the man you left with?" "Absolutely." "Did you and Mr. Blaise discuss any details before you left the bar?" "Not really. He asked whether I preferred giving or receiving; I indicated that I didn't care, and we left. He said he had a place nearby. My motorcycle was parked near the bar; I offered to drive us. He directed me to an apartment building about 5 blocks away from the bar. We climbed up the stairs to the second floor, and he unlocked an apartment." Jack paused, taking a deep breath. This was going to be the hard part. "I started to get worried when I realized the apartment was vacant. There were just a few pieces of furniture remaining. I tried to leave, saying that this wasn't my scene, but he started hitting me. Screaming about showing 'daddy' who was really in charge. I tried to fight back, but he had caught me off guard. He kicked my legs apart, knocking me back over a table, then � brutally squeezed my genitals � " Jack swallowed convulsively, trying to moisten his dry mouth. This was far worse than he'd imagined. He looked out into the gallery and saw Lennie, his eyes filled with compassion. Jack had to look away as he felt the sting of tears. He couldn't break down now. He had to get through this. Liz had coached him on this; as the Bureau Chief in charge of sex crimes, she worked with rape victims all the time. It was important that the victim be sympathetic. So as much as his masculine pride wanted to keep a calm exterior, he needed to let the jury see some of his pain. He had thought it would be difficult to drop the mask. But the intensity of emotion from reliving that night was getting to him. He reached for the glass of water beside the witness stand. As he put the glass back down, Liz gently prodded him. "What happened next, Mr. McCoy?" Another deep breath. "He � removed my belt and opened the fly of my jeans. I tried to sit up, struggling to get away, but he was too strong. He flipped me over onto my stomach and yanked my jeans and underwear down. Again I tried to stand up, and he pushed me back down. He began striking my � backside with the belt. I tried not to cry out, but it was too painful �" Jamie sat back, trying not to listen to Jack's words. She had heard the whole story in their preparation meetings, and it hurt to think of this proud man reduced to such a position. Instead she focused on the jury. Expressions of horror were common. They were definitely sympathizing with Jack. Jack continued. "He must have hit me with the belt about a dozen times. Finally, he stopped and came around to the side of the table where I could see him and dropped his pants. He � he wanted me to see him, to intimidate me with his size � " He glanced over at the defense table and saw Blaise grinning at him. He was sure reliving the incident was giving the bastard a hard-on. In that moment, for the first time in his life, he understood the desire to kill another human being. He had hated his father, but the man was after all his father. This was something entirely different. Anger now colored his voice as he continued. "He moved around behind me and shoved the whole thing in. No lubricant, no preparation, no condom. Just one violent push, which crushed my own genitals against the side of the table. I screamed again as he � violated me." Jack simply couldn't go on. With a shaky hand, he reached for the water again. Donnelly gave him a moment to compose himself before urging him to continue. "When he was finished, he told me to get out. I'm not really sure how I got dressed and made it out of the aparment. When I got outside, I realized the keys to the motorcycle had fallen out of my pocket. I didn't dare go back to get them, so I started walking. I guess it was a couple of blocks before I fell. Before I passed out I remember hearing the motorcycle roar past and feeling the spray from a puddle. I think he was laughing at me." There. It was done. He looked up at Donnelly. She smiled at him. "Thank you, Mr. McCoy. I know that was very difficult. Would you like to take a break before we continue?" He shook his head. "No, I'll be all right." Donnelly nodded. "Now, when the police found you, you told them you'd been mugged. Why didn't you tell them the truth?" "I didn't want to risk exposing that I was gay. I've lived 'in the closet' for 15 years now. When I first realized I was gay, back in the 70's, it wasn't something that was acceptable for a lawyer. I guess times have changed some, but old habits die hard. Coming out is one of the most difficult things a gay man can face. Blaise knows that and counts on the fact that his victims won't report him because doing so would out them." "Objection! Speculation! He can't know what my client knows!" "Sustained. Just answer the questions, Mr. McCoy." Jack nodded meekly, but inside he was smiling. This was one of the oldest tactics in the book. The objection was sustained, but the jury had heard his analysis. "And when you were examined at the hospital, you refused to let them examine your lower body. Why?" "Same reason. Also I was afraid. Blaise didn't use a condom. I wasn't psychologically ready to face the implications of that." "And those implication would be?" "Whether I had been exposed to the AIDS virus." "You usually engage is safe sex practices?" "Always. I made it through the '80's safely because I don't take chances." "So you never would have agreed to unprotected sex." "No, never." Donnelly nodded. "Now, what happened in your second interview with Det. Briscoe that convinced you to tell him the truth about what happened?" Jack sighed. "When I saw the sketch of the suspect I couldn't hide my reaction. Det. Briscoe is an excellent investigator; he knows how to read people's reactions. At that point it was futile to try to tell him I didn't recognize that face. And when I realized that another man had been attacked, I realized that it was partly my fault. If I had reported my attack, maybe the suspect could have been apprehended before hurting somebody else." "So you didn't change your story just to fit the circumstances? To make your cop friend happy?" "No. Actually, at the time I wasn't particularly interested in making Det. Briscoe happy. I think I blamed him for the entire incident. Our relationship was a bit of an anomaly for me. I had told him at the beginning that I wasn't interested in a relationship; I preferred to keep my sex life anonymous. But as our friendship grew, I gave in. After a short while, though, I started to feel 'trapped.' I broke it off because we had gotten too close." He looked out at Lennie, suddenly struck by his foolishness. He realized that Adam had been right � he had been falling in love with Lennie Briscoe. And that wasn't a bad thing. // If only I'd realized it then! // "I � blamed him for forcing an unwanted relationship on me. If I hadn't been so upset over that situation, I never would have picked up a guy like David Blaise. Someone totally opposite from the types of partners I usually choose." "What types of partners do you usually choose?" "Men like myself, like Det. Briscoe. Older, wiser. But ones I don't know personally." Donnelly nodded. That had been the end of their planned questions. But Jamie was trying to catch her attention. She went back to the desk and read a hastily scribbled note. "One final question, Mr. McCoy. How would you describe your current relationship to Det. Briscoe?" "Objection! Relevance!" "May we approach, Your Honor?" Feldman nodded and waved the counsels up to the bench. "Your Honor, Detective Briscoe's continued presence in the courtroom clearly shows that these two men are no longer estranged. We want to establish that that relationship was renewed AFTER Blaise was arrested, so that it cannot be construed as having impact on how the case was handled." Feldman didn't let Donaldson protest. "I'll allow it, Ms. Donnelly." As the attorneys left the bench, he turned to McCoy. "Answer the question, Mr. McCoy." He looked at Jamie, hoping he understood what they were trying to accomplish. Then he looked out at Lennie and smiled. "I'm not quite sure what to call it. Det. Briscoe has been a good friend to me through a very difficult time." "Would you consider him your lover?" "I � I still have issues because of what I've been through � but I'd say we're definitely moving in that direction." Lennie's smile all but melted his heart. "And when did this renewal of affection begin?" "The night Blaise was arrested. Det. Briscoe came to see me after everything was done. When I heard he'd gone undercover and had to be taken to the emergency room, I guess I panicked. When I saw him later that night, I realized that he wasn't the one I was angry at." Jamie smiled and gave him the thumbs up. They had the jury in the palm of their hands. Nothing like a love story to get people on your side! Donnelly nodded. "Thank you, Mr. McCoy." She looked over at Donaldson, who was not looking happy over that last exchange. Before Donaldson could begin, however, Judge Feldman jumped in. �We�ll continue after lunch. This court is adjourned until 1PM.� The bang of the gavel made it official. Lennie realized that there was a personal benefit to that last line of questioning. Now that the world knew they were together, he could give Jack the public support he deserved. He swung into step beside Jack as they walked out of the courtroom, and as soon as they were out in the hall pulled his friend into a quick hug. For a moment, Jack froze. For so much of his life he�d buried his feelings. He wasn�t used to expressing them so freely, and especially not here in the courthouse. But after the morning�s stress, Lennie�s arms around him felt so good. In moments, he gave himself over to that embrace. Just for a few moments, they held on. Before letting go, he whispered in Lennie�s ear, �Thank you.� Liz and Jamie stood off to the side waiting for them. Liz had a perplexed look on her face; she still couldn�t quite believe that McCoy was gay. Jamie, on the other hand, looked like a proud mama. She couldn�t suppress her grin as the guys came over to them. �Nothing a jury likes better than a love story with a happy ending. Come on, let�s get some lunch.� Continue on to Chapter 31 Send me some Feedback Back to the Story Index Disclaimer: These characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. I'm just borrowing them for fun, not profit. |
| Chapter 30 |