| A Matter of Trust |
| The alarm went off, rousing Lennie from a deep sleep. He slapped it off and groaned; today was not a day he was looking forward to. Rey was taking the day off to chaperone a field trip for one of his daughters. Which meant he was stuck with Profaci for the day. Not exactly a pleasant proposition. Van Buren had called him into her office yesterday late and given him the news. �You know if anybody else was available, I wouldn�t do this. But procedure says you don�t go out alone, and Profaci�s all I�ve got right now. You�re the senior partner here, and I�ve made sure he knows it. Make it work, Lennie.� Her expression said she was counting on him to not inflame the situation. He had sighed and accepted it with his usual aplomb. But inside he was more than a little worried. At best, the day was going to be annoying. At worst, he could get killed if his �partner� refused to back him up. Talking with Jack last night, he had considered calling in sick. But that just wasn�t his style, running away from a problem. At least, not any more. Instead, he rolled out of bed bright and early, intending to get to the precinct first. He wouldn�t give Profaci a single thing to complain about. And so he was sitting at his desk, drinking his first cup of coffee and looking through a case file, when Profaci meandered in, 15 minutes late, and took over Rey�s desk. Lennie looked at him, looked up at the clock, and turned his attention back to the file he was reading. He didn�t say a word as Profaci proceeded to get the powdered sugar from his donut all over Rey�s desk. He made a notation in the file and closed it. �You may want to look this over � case we�re working on.� Rather than simply toss it across the desks as he would have with Rey, he leaned forward and held the report out. Profaci looked at it as if he didn�t even want to touch it. Lennie sighed. �You know, Profaci, if you really don�t want to work with me that much, you coulda called in sick. I coulda used a day of desk work.� His ersatz �partner� frowned. �I�m outa sick leave. Believe me, I would have if I could.� Lennie bit back the urge to make a smart comment about Profaci�s work habits. Around here it was pretty tough to run out of sick time. But he was not going to let the Lieutenant down. �Well, you didn�t, so we ARE going to get some work done.� His stare said he wasn�t taking no for an answer. Profaci huffed and snatched the file out of his hand. He gave it a quick perusal and tossed it down on the desk. �So what�s the game plan?� Lennie ignored the tone of his voice and answered the otherwise reasonable question. �Everything so far points to a punk called Emilio Sanchez. Rumor has it he runs with a gang called the Crew. We�ve got an address on his sister.� Lennie stood up and shrugged back into his jacket. When Profaci didn�t move, Lennie just looked at him, sighed, and started to walk out. He noticed Van Buren standing in the door of her office glaring at Profaci and smirked. He sure as hell wouldn�t want to be on the receiving end of one of her �displeased� glares. Sure enough, Profaci got his ass up and had to jog to catch up to Lennie. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jack was not having one of his better days. Nothing was really wrong, but he was worried about Lennie, out there with a partner who had been openly hostile to him ever since he�d been outed. He was having trouble concentrating on his work. The knock at his door was a welcome distraction. Liz Donnelly stuck her head in. �Jack? Can I talk to you a minute?� Although they both worked for Adam, their paths rarely crossed. Liz headed up the Sex Crimes bureau, whereas he handled mostly homicides. He actually hadn�t seen her except for one department heads meeting since the trial. �Yeah, come on in, Liz.� She settled in one of the chairs opposite his desk. �Back to business as usual, I see?� Jack shrugged. �Life goes on.� She nodded. �Having any problems?� �Aside from having acquired the annoying label of �The Gay DA� in the press, no.� She just shook her head. �Can�t live with them, can�t live without them.� Jack laughed. �So there is life after being outed?� He nodded. �Yeah.� �How about Briscoe?� �So far no problems, but I�m a little worried about today �� He filled her in on Lennie�s situation. �I wouldn�t worry too much. Everybody�s watching; someone would have to be pretty stupid to pull something now. Six months from now will be a different story, though.� �Gee, thanks for the reassurance, Liz.� Jack�s voice dripped with sarcasm. She shrugged. �I get the impression Briscoe can take care of himself, Jack.� He sighed. �I know. But I still worry.� He looked at her intently. �So what�s up? You didn�t come here to discuss my love life.� �I have a favor to ask, Jack.� Now he was getting suspicious. �What kind of favor?� �We�ve got a rape victim who�s gotten cold feet, doesn't want to press charges. She�s pretty scared. I�d like you to talk with her.� Something twisted in Jack�s stomach. This was the one thing he�d been terrified of. How could he pressure this girl when he knew first hand how she felt? �I don�t think so, Liz �� Adam Schiff had been right; she could see the fear in his eyes. If he was going to have any sort of success as a prosecutor, he had to be able to � encourage � reluctant witnesses. Jack had a reputation for being tough as nails. If the defense smelled weakness, they�d be like sharks in bloody water. �Jack, there�s more than one way to �encourage� a witness. I don�t want you to browbeat her; I want you to inspire her.� He sat back, his face a study in confusion. �I never considered that �� �Well, think about it. And come over to my office at 2 o�clock this afternoon.� As the door closed behind Donnelly, his brain worried away at this new idea. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lennie sat in the car, a scowl etched onto his face. A tense, heavy silence blanketed the occupants of the unmarked vehicle. They�d found nobody home earlier in the morning, but a neighbor told them Rita Sanchez worked nights as a housekeeper in a downtown hotel. They�d gone to the hotel, only to find they�d missed her by half an hour. So they�d come back to her street and were waiting for her to get home. Before she did, a young man, Hispanic, early 20�s came up to the building door. He was wearing gang colors. Lennie nudged Profaci, who had apparently fallen asleep. Profaci yanked his arm out of Lennie�s grasp as if it was painful. �Keep your damned hands to yourself, Briscoe,� he growled. Lennie glared at him and pointed to the apartment door as the man entered. �Somebody�s got company. Wanna bet that�s Emilio?� Profaci groaned. �I suppose you wanna go question him?� �That WOULD be the whole point of this exercise,� Lennie snapped back. Given the fact that their suspect had known gang ties, Lennie reached for the radio to request backup. Profaci got out of the car and headed toward the building, at the moment just glad to be out of the close confines of the car. Lennie had to jog to catch up to him as Profaci climbed the stairs to Rita Sanchez� 2nd floor apartment. He was about to bang on the door when Lennie grabbed his arm. "I called for backup. Give it a few minutes." Profaci glared at him and pulled his arm away. "What, are you afraid of one kid? Geez, what a pansy." Before Lennie could remind him it was a kid with gang ties, Profaci was pounding on the door. "Police! Open up!" They heard scrambling inside the apartment, as the occupants tried to bail out the back fire stairs. Profaci kicked in the door and burst into the room, expecting to see one kid halfway out the window. Instead, there were two youths, about 18, wearing gang colors, with guns drawn. One was halfway out the window; the other turned his gun on Profaci. Lennie took in the situation and tackled Profaci from behind, knocking him out of the line of fire, then firing at the shooter, hitting him in the shoulder. Leaving Profaci somewhat stunned on the floor, Lennie got up and quickly disarmed the punk, slamming him into the wall. By the time the back-up arrived, Lennie had him handcuffed, and Profaci had staggered to his feet. The two uniformed officers had the 'escapee' handcuffed. "Det. Briscoe? We caught this one exiting down the fire stairs." Lennie glared at them. "Charge them both with resisting arrest. Which one of you is Emilio Sanchez?" The shooter just spat at him. Lennie sighed. "Whichever one is Sanchez, we'll need to talk to back at the precinct about the murder of one Caroline Murphy." The uniforms dragged the suspects away, leaving Lennie and Profaci alone in the apartment. Profaci was livid. "What the hell did you tackle ME for? You enjoy feeling me up like that?" Lennie shut his eyes tight, fighting the compulsion to let Profaci have it. He'd had about all he could take of this crap. He spun around and zeroed in on Profaci. "You know what, Profaci? I tackled you to save your worthless life." By this point, he had Profaci backed up against the wall, his fists wrapped in the terrified man's lapels. "Or can't you believe I'd bother to save you, since if it were the other way around, you'd have left me to hang, just like they did to that poor kid Newhouse a couple years back. Oh, yeah, I know you remember the case. But you know what, Profaci? Cops are cops. And as much as you disgust me, I'd NEVER let a fellow officer down in the line of duty. You might just want to think about that. Oh, and I wouldn't be interested in your fat ass if it was the only one left in New York." He suddenly let go of Profaci's lapels, spun around and stalked out of the apartment. Profaci hung there for a moment before slowly sliding down to the floor, his legs having given out. // I could have died here! // The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He sat there shaking for a couple of minutes before he could get up and leave the apartment. He found Lennie outside talking to a young Hispanic woman, apparently Rita Sanchez, explaining what had happened in her apartment. A CSU team was arriving to check the apartment for other evidence and to find the bullet that had been fired. Profaci went to the unmarked car and fell into the passenger seat. He was still sitting there, lost in thought, when Lennie got back to the car. Lennie looked at him, not saying a word as he buckled in and started the ignition. They rode back to the precinct in silence. Lennie parked the car in the lot behind the building, and shut off the ignition. Finally, Profaci broke the silence. "Thanks, Lennie �" Lennie looked over at him, his face still a mask of anger. "Nothing to thank me for � just doing my job." Profaci avoided his gaze. "Yeah, but still �" Lennie shook his head. "You want to thank me? Call a truce to this ridiculous game. I don't give a damn if you don't approve of my love life. Just check it at the precinct door from now on, will ya?" Profaci just nodded. "OK, then I got one more question for you, and we'll drop this forever. During the trial somebody sent me a newspaper clipping with a note saying the NYPD didn't have room for fags. You know anything about that?" Profaci thought about it for a minute, and decided that he owed Briscoe this much. "A bunch of us were talking over at O'Malley's. They thought that if you got the message that you weren't welcome, you'd take early retirement �" Lennie scowled. "I showed the letter to Van Buren. You're gonna tell her who was involved, aren't you?" Profaci hesitated. "Aren't you?" Lennie asked again, more insistent. Finally Profaci nodded. "Yeah, I'll tell her." "OK, then as far as I'm concerned, this thing is over. Come on, we need to interrogate Sanchez." They headed back into the precinct to get down to the business of being cops. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jack stepped into the elevator, punching the button for the 8th floor, home to the sex crimes bureau. He really wasn't sure about this, but he knew he'd have to face it sooner or later. // Later would have been fine, really � // But after all Liz Donnelly had done for him during the trial, he really couldn't refuse her. He stood outside her office door, taking a deep breath to compose himself before knocking. Liz opened the door and ushered him in. A young woman in her 20's was sitting there, looking terrified. Liz spoke to her. "Leslie, this is Jack McCoy. He'd like to talk with you for a few minutes." When the girl nodded, Liz ducked out the door, leaving them alone. Jack sat in the chair next to Leslie's, rather than take Liz's place behind the desk. He saw one terrified little girl, not much older than his own daughter would be by now. Normally, he would have faced her with strength, but today he simply couldn't. He knew the fear in her eyes, knew it far too personally. He reached out to touch her shoulder comfortingly, but let his hand drop when he saw her flinch. When he spoke, his voice was uncharacteristically soft. "Leslie, do you recognize me? From the news a couple of weeks ago?" She shook her head. "Not much for following the news. Too much of it's bad." Jack nodded. He couldn't say he disagreed with that. He decided to just say it, but the words were harder than he expected. "Leslie, I � I was in the news because I was raped too." That got her attention. For the first time, she really looked at him. "But you're a man �" A tall, handsome, strong looking man. "That doesn't mean it can't happen, Leslie. In fact, it makes it even harder to admit it happened. At first, I didn't. I reported that I had been attacked, my motorcycle stolen, but I didn't say anything about the rape. It wasn't until a week later when another man was attacked and beaten almost to death that I said anything. And only when the detective handling the case MADE me admit it, to myself and to him. I didn't want to believe that this could happen to me. And because I couldn't, another man was nearly killed. I can't help thinking that if I'd spoken up that first night, maybe the second man wouldn't have been hurt." Her eyes were wide with fear; she'd never thought about being responsible for others her rapist might hurt. Jack pushed on. "Leslie, I know you're afraid, and believe me I know how hard it is to get on the stand and admit that you've been raped. It's even harder to sit there and listen to them lie when it's their turn, trying to make you look like a tramp who asked for it. It does get ugly. But you have to be strong, Leslie. Only if you speak out will he ever be punished for what he's done." "But what if they don't believe me? What if they decide I AM a tramp? They had to believe you, you're a District Attorney. Why should they believe me?" Jack sighed. "Leslie, they tried to discredit me, too. I'm gay. I've kept that hidden for over 15 years, but they used it to make me look bad. A lot of people would just assume that since I'm gay, I did ask for it. Yes, my job gives me a certain credibility, but not enough to counter that kind of stereotype." "So did they believe you? Was he convicted?" Jack nodded. "Not for raping the second man, who was so badly beaten he couldn't remember what happened. But for what he did to me, yes. We got him. It can work, Leslie. And think about this � even if the worst happens and he gets off, you've saved every victim he would have raped from the time you press charges through the end of the trial. You can do that, all by yourself. Just by pressing charges and going through with this. Help us keep him from hurting more women, Leslie. Please." How could she say no to that heartfelt plea? She looked up into his dark eyes and saw how much the second man's beating haunted him. To prevent this from happening to even one other person was worth it. She nodded. "OK, I'll do it." Jack sat back, drained from the intensity of the moment. He managed to smile at her. "Thank you, Leslie. It will be hard, but I promise it's worth it." She looked at him, feeling an odd connection with this man. "I � I feel so � DIRTY, ever since he � . Do you ever get over it?" Her pain filled her eyes. Compassion for this terrified child overwhelmed him. He reached out and gently took her hand. "Entirely? I don�t know yet. But it�s better now than it was back then. You have to open your heart. Let your friends and family help you. You're not dirty, you're not damaged goods. You have to believe that, and they'll believe it too." Timidly, she squeezed his hand. "Thank you �" she whispered. Jack nodded. "I, uh, I have to get back to my office now." "Ok." On impulse, he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled a business card out of his wallet. "If you need someone to talk to, Leslie, call me." She nodded, blinking back tears. Jack handed it to her, patting her hand, and got out of the room before his own tears could slip out. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ At the end of his shift, Lennie tapped on Van Buren�s door. �Lieutenant? Got a minute?� She looked up from the report she was reading and smiled at him. �Sure, Lennie. How�d it go today?� He gave her the Reader�s Digest condensed version of what had really happened out there. �And after that, the rest of the day he didn�t give me any grief. He did promise to come in and tell you who was involved in the incident with the note.� �Well, he hasn�t yet, but maybe he�s waiting until you leave.� Lennie just nodded, glad that the worst was over. �Why don�t you head on out then? How�s Jack doing?� That brought a smile to the detective�s face. �Good, now that things are pretty much back to normal. He was pretty nervous about today, though.� She laughed. �Well, then it�s about time you reassured him that you�re all right. Get out of here, already!� Lennie grinned at her as he turned and headed homeward. Funny how �home� had pretty much become Jack�s apartment. It was just easier for both of them to get to during the week, closer to both Hogan Place and the 27th precinct. Pretty much the only time he spent at his apartment anymore was when he had a day off during the week, and a quick check-in on the weekends. When he got there, he found the door already unlocked, so he pushed it open. �Jack? You here?� �Back here �� he heard the voice from the bedroom. There was something in that voice that worried Lennie. He locked the door behind him and headed back. He found Jack sitting on the bed, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, knees drawn up under his chin. He sighed with relief when he saw Lennie standing there, safe and unhurt. �You�re ok �� Lennie tossed his jacket aside and sat down beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. �Of course I�m ok. Don�t you think if anything happened, you�d be the first to know? I changed my paperwork to list you as an official �emergency contact.� I told you that.� �I know, but still �� Lennie just hugged him and kissed his cheek. After a little while, Lennie realized Jack wasn�t relaxing. �OK, talk. Something else is bothering you.� Jack shrugged. �I�m not sure. It�s � everything. Even though this feels like it should all be over, it�s not. We tested clean last week, but it�s still four more months before I can let myself believe it�s not a death sentence. And then there was Leslie �� Now Lennie was confused. �Who�s Leslie?� Jack took a deep breath and told him about the young rape victim Liz had asked him to talk to. �God, Lennie, she was so scared, so hurt. It brought everything back.� Lennie pulled him closer, holding him, rubbing his hand in soothing circles on Jack�s back. Jack turned to him, burying his face in Lennie�s shoulder as Lennie rocked him, soothing him. A soft kiss to his temple, then Lennie�s face pressed close to his. Finally, Lennie felt the tension easing away and the trembling calmed. �Jack, dealing with victims is part of your job. You did a good thing, today, convincing her to speak out. I know it was hard, but it�ll only get easier as time goes on. You got through the first one, you can get through the rest. And I�ll be right here for you every time. I promise.� Jack pulled away and looked into Lennie�s eyes. He knew he�d be eternally grateful for whatever it was in Lennie that made him so loyal. There was a commitment in those soft, heavy lidded eyes that meant the world to him. And yet he still wasn�t quite able to return it, and that made him feel unworthy. Before he could speak, Lennie smiled at him and gently kissed his forehead, then let go. He got up and grabbed his suit coat, hanging it up in the overstuffed closet. As he continued changing into casual clothes, he mused aloud. �You know, Jack, it�s nice having somebody to come home to. But this closet just isn�t big enough for both of us � what would you think about getting a bigger place, together?� As he pulled the soft knit shirt over his head, he turned to look at Jack and was shocked by the hurt look on his lover�s face. �Jack? Did I say something wrong?� Jack just shook his head. �I � I can�t, Lennie. Not yet. I can�t make any promises until that six months is up �� Lennie sighed and sat back down beside him. �OK, Jack, it�s all right. Don�t panic, I don�t want to push you into anything you�re not ready for.� Jack leaned into his embrace, again feeling he didn�t deserve this. Lennie kissed his temple. �You know, I was talking to Damian the other day. Now that Daniel�s memory is coming back, they�ve started going to group therapy together. Maybe we should join them?� Jack blinked, confused. �Wait a minute. Damian and Daniel?� Lennie chuckled. �Oh, yeah, didn�t I mention? Damian went out of his way to reach out to Daniel after the trial. They really hit it off �� Jack was stunned; that was not something he would have predicted. �So they�re a couple now?� Lennie nodded. �Yup. I think it�ll be good for both of them. Damian�s a good caretaker; he�ll get Daniel through this.� �But � but what if Daniel tests positive?� Lennie held back; he hadn�t wanted to tell Jack that detail. �He already has.� �What!� Horror and anguish filled Jack�s voice in that hoarse shout. Lennie reached out to cup Jack�s cheek, desperate to ease his guilt. �Jack, I know what you�re thinking. If you had spoken out, maybe he wouldn�t have been attacked. But I�m not so sure about that. We needed the second case to build a link, find the first clue. Don�t blame yourself for this. Please!� �Lennie, how can I? That poor man is going to die because I kept my mouth shut �� �Jack, testing positive isn�t the same as developing the disease. And even if he does, treatments are getting better all the time. You�ve been through enough, don�t take this on yourself too.� Jack sighed and let Lennie pull him close again. They sat quietly for quite a while. Finally, Lennie kissed him softly. �Come on, Jack. Let�s go get some dinner, and then I�ll call Damian and get the details on the therapy group. You�ve come a long way, but you�ve still got a lot of scars to heal. And I promise I�ll be beside you all the way. I know you�re not ready for promises yet, and I�m not asking anything in return. OK?� Jack felt like his heart was going to burst. It seemed that no matter what happened, it just brought them closer. Lennie was his anchor, holding him safe when the sea of life got too turbulent. He reached up with trembling fingers to caress the craggy face, smiling through his tears. "I love you, Lennie Briscoe." The words were like magic to Lennie. He captured Jack�s face between his hands, and gently kissed him, his fingers brushing away the tears. �Love you too, Jack.� His voice was husky with emotion. They fell back to the bed, all thoughts of dinner forgotten � Continue on to Chapter 37 Send me some Feedback Back to the Story Index Disclaimer: These characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. I'm just borrowing them for fun, not profit. |
| Chapter 36 |