| A Matter of Trust |
| In some dim corner of his mind, Jack realized he was riding too fast. A sudden summer storm had come out of nowhere. The roads were slick, and he was soaked through from the drenching downpour. He barely kept the bike under control as he sped around a corner. He almost couldn�t see with the rain streaking down his visor, but he thought he spotted an overpass ahead. He slowed down, coming to a stop in the relative dryness. Taking his helmet off, he took a moment to listen to the calming sound of the rain. He looked around � pretty deserted area. Probably not the safest place, but it would do � any port in a storm, they said. His thoughts kept going back to Lennie. Remembering his own crisis of understanding, he realized how much it had cost the man to say what he had. To admit to the fears, the uncertainty. He felt like a jerk, leaving his friend to face this alone. First Adam, now Lennie. He�d done a hell of a job this week hurting the people he cared about. But he had fixed things with Adam � maybe he could still make this right for Lennie? // Are you kidding? You open that door and you can�t close it! // But how can I not? He was there when I needed a friend � // And besides, you know you want it too � // He finally admitted to himself what he�d been trying to avoid all week. This unexpected friendship had pushed buttons he�d never realized he had. On a purely physical level, Lennie was just what he liked in a lover; long and lean like himself. More mature; he had long since tired of the self-absorbed young studs. And after all these years, the one-night-stand had gotten old. He found himself wondering what it would be like to wake up next to Lennie� ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lennie had cleared away the dinner remains more for something to do than for actually caring about it. He really had no idea how long he�d been staring out the window before he�d finally turned to cleaning up the mess. He knew he should eat something, but his stomach was still too tied up in knots. // It�s just as well. // Now he could go back to simply enjoying the fantasy without worrying about ever actually having to do anything. Although he had a feeling it would be quite a while before even the fantasy held any interest for him. He just hoped he�d be able to look Jack in the eye the next time their work paths crossed. // Should have thought of that before you opened your big mouth. // Oh, hell, he HAD made a royal mess of this. He wandered back over to the window. The rain had let up some; not stopped, but at least you could see two feet in front of you now. It suddenly occurred to him that Jack had left right before the rain started � and he was riding a motorcycle. Despite the bitter disappointment of being rejected, Lennie found himself genuinely worried about the man. // You�re a real piece of work, Briscoe. // Once again, a gentle knock at the door almost sent him out of his skin. He spun around, staring at the door, wondering who would be knocking at his door now, almost afraid to hope � His hand trembled as he opened the door. Jack stood there, still not sure what to say. They stared at each other for a long heartbeat before he finally found his voice. �Lennie, I�m sorry. I was an ass. Can we talk?� Lennie nodded, stepping back to let Jack in. The attorney looked about as miserable as Lennie felt. Of course, the fact that he was soaked through from the rain didn�t help. He shrugged out of the soggy jacket, tossed it with his helmet into the closet. Lennie still hadn�t said anything. He felt almost paralyzed. What if Jack had changed his mind? Lennie just couldn�t deal with it right now. He didn�t know what he wanted. Jack turned to face him, crossing the distance between them. �Lennie?� �What do you want me to say, Jack?� McCoy looked into his friend�s eyes, saw the pain still too near the surface. He reached out, gently touching Lennie�s cheek. �I am sorry, Lennie. Would you believe me if I told you I was scared too? I don�t let my lovers into my life, Lennie, I never have. But maybe it�s time to change that �� Lennie shook his head, dislodging Jack�s fingers. �No, you were right. This is a bad idea.� �Damn it, Lennie, in one week I�ve hurt two of the best friends I�ve ever had. Please let me make it right. I know after all this you�re not �in the mood� right now; believe me, I understand. But I�ve been there, Lennie. I know what you�re going through. Can we at least talk?� �Jack, I don�t know what to say right now. I don�t think I can even think straight. Not right now.� Jack sighed and nodded, turning toward the closet. Something inside Lennie smacked him upside the head. // Don�t be an idiot! // �Wait! Jack, please don�t go!� Jack turned around to see Lennie reaching out to him. He took the offered hand, wrapping it in both of his, holding tight. Lennie managed a weak smile. �Guess I know what I really want after all.� Jack smiled. �We�ll take it real slow, Lennie. If all you want to do tonight is talk, that�s fine.� Lennie nodded, blushing. �Thanks. I � uh, I don�t know �oh, god, to finally be able to talk about it �� Jack nodded and gently squeezed his hand. �Uh, Lennie, there�s just one thing. Don�t take this the wrong way, I�m not looking for an excuse to get naked, but could I borrow a pair of sweats or something? I�m soaked through �� The absurdity of the situation finally got to Lennie, and he laughed. A real, heart-felt laugh that was so contagious that Jack got wrapped up in it too. Suddenly unselfconscious, Lennie wrapped his arm around Jack�s shoulders and led him back to the bedroom. He dug out an old pair of sweats and sweatshirt. McCoy had already stripped out of the damp dress shirt he had been wearing under his denim jacket. Lennie could see the goosebumps on his arms from the chill, as well as the chest he had been fantasizing about. // Not furry like me after all � good, more skin to touch // He handed Jack the sweatshirt. �You�re freezing. Here, get changed, I�ll put on some coffee.� OK, so it was an excuse to get out of there; he wasn�t ready for any further revelations just yet � As he filled the coffee maker, Lennie realized that he felt better now than he had all day. The nervous tension was gone. He still didn�t think anything was going to happen tonight, but just knowing that they could talk about it took the pressure off. God, this was some roller coaster ride so far. Jack smiled as he slipped into the warm, dry clothes. If he was going to break the cardinal rule about relationships, getting involved with someone the same size certainly had its advantages! He rubbed his arms as he headed out to the kitchen, trying to get warm. Lennie had been right; the air conditioning after that soaking had been a bit on the cold side. He eagerly accepted the mug of hot coffee, blowing on it to cool it enough to drink. They sat down facing each other at the kitchen table. Lennie�s arms laid on the table in front of him, hands wrapped around his coffee mug. Jack reached out and gently laid his hand over Lennie�s arm. �Is it OK if I touch you like this?� Lennie smiled shyly and nodded. �Yeah. That�s nice.� Jack�s fingers traced a random pattern over Lennie�s arm, wrist to elbow, as they talked. �So what started it for you, Lennie? What triggered those first fantasies?� �Couple of years ago I was reading an article. Talked about how many men from our generation never succeeded in marriage. Workaholic, alcoholic, because they were sold the wrong �dream.� I�d just gotten sober, and I realized I fit the picture they were painting exactly. I had the American Dream, Jack, beautiful wife, two beautiful little girls, and it didn�t mean a damned thing to me. So I worked too hard, drank too hard, and lost it all. All because nobody ever told me there were other dreams to chase. But apparently a fair number of guys our age are figuring it out now, Jack.� Jack nodded. �Makes a weird kind of sense. We tried the way it was supposed to be, now we want it on our terms.� Beneath the table, legs crossed, leaning together, maximizing contact. Lennie shrugged. �I guess. I just fit the profile so perfectly, it was hard to not wonder if I was one of them.� Jack�s hand slid down Lennie�s arm to capture the hand. �And so you wondered, and fantasized, and never even had a friend to talk to about it?� �I live in a world of cops, Jack. One of the most testosterone-laden professions left.� Jack shook his head. �And I had the gall to turn you away. After what that confession this evening must have cost you.� Lennie smiled and squeezed Jack�s hand. �It�s OK, Jack, really.� The gentle touches on his hand and leg were both relaxing him and exciting him, if that was possible. �I�m just glad you came back.� Jack smiled and lifted Lennie�s hand to his lips, placing a gentle kiss over the fingers. Lennie blushed again. For a few minutes, they just sat there, holding hands, smiling at each other. Jack finally broke the spell. �Lennie? You want to come sit on the couch with me?� For a moment, panic almost broke through. Jack saw his hesitation and jumped back in. �It�s ok if you�re not ready yet.� �No, I � I want to.� �You sure?� Lennie made it a moot point by letting go of Jack�s hand and standing up. They sat down on the couch, much closer than when the evening had started. Jack laid one hand on Lennie�s knee. �This ok?� �Oh, yeah.� It was more than ok. Again, those long fingers began tracing a random pattern, this time over his leg. Lennie just sighed and let himself experience the feelings, the desires, that touch stirred in him. Jack saw the closed eyes and mona lisa smile on Lennie�s face and took them as encouragement. He let his fingers wander more and more toward the inside of the thigh, sliding higher and higher. His other hand slipped around Lennie�s shoulder, coming to rest high on his back. Lennie�s breathing was becoming rough as Jack�s fingers teased closer and closer. His legs spread wider, offering access. Jack took it, finally letting his fingers brush gently over the bulge now straining against the slacks. �Oh!� Lennie let out a soft cry as Jack�s fingers brushed against him. The hand on his back slipped the rest of the way around his shoulders as Jack held him close. �It�s ok, Lennie,� he whispered into an ear only inches away from his face. �Damn right it is!� Lennie was a bit surprised that he could actually form words at that point. Jack chuckled, a deep, low sound, right into Lennie�s ear. It sent a shiver down Lennie�s spine. The hand at his crotch increased pressure, focusing attention now on the most sensitive spot. A sound somewhere between a moan and a whimper escaped from his throat. Jack kept up a gentle massaging for several minutes, watching with delight as Lennie�s face reflected the pleasure he was feeling. A steady stream of soft moans and heavy breathing became the sound track for that beautiful show. Jack found himself entranced watching it. Finally, Lennie�s overtaxed nervous system just couldn�t take any more. Jack felt the body in his arms tensing as breathing became a series of harsh, panting gasps. �That�s it, Lennie,� he whispered into the ear. �Come on.� Finally the cry as the last, hardest contraction took hold, then a long sigh as the body went limp. Jack slid the hand up from Lennie�s lap to wrap around his chest, holding him close as he learned to breathe normally again. �You ok?� he whispered. Lennie leaned against him, once again becoming aware of his surroundings. �Yeah. Oh god, did I actually come in my pants?� Jack chuckled. �Sorry about that. But you were enjoying it so much, and I was afraid to push it to the next level. Didn�t want to spook you.� Lennie nodded. �That probably wasn�t a bad idea.� They sat together for a couple of minutes as Lennie regained his strength. Finally he sat up and looked at Jack, a hint of fear showing in his eyes. �Um �� Jack just shook his head. �Don�t worry about me right now, Lennie. I think you�ve had all you can handle for one evening.� �Jack, I don�t want to take advantage of you.� �Trust me, you�re not. It�s been a long time since I enjoyed this part of things. Forgot how nice this could be.� �You�re sure?� �Absolutely. I�ll still have that picture of you in my mind when I get home �� His grin left no doubt as to what he�d be doing while replaying that memory. �Oh!� And then as the realization hit. �You�re going home?� Jack nodded. �I told you we�d take this slow, Lennie. No pressure. Besides �� When he didn�t finish the sentence, Lennie looked at him curiously. �Jack?� �I�m not ready to spend the night yet, Lennie. That�s something I�ve never done before.� �Oh. OK, I think I understand.� // one-night-stands don�t stick around for breakfast // As if to emphasize the point, a yawn forced itself on Lennie. Jack laughed. �You�ve had a hell of a day, Lennie. Time to get some rest.� �Guess you�re right.� They got up from the couch, heading toward the door. Jack indicated his clothes. �Mind if I return these tomorrow? I really don�t want to get back into those wet jeans.� �That means you�re coming over tomorrow?� �If you want to continue?� He made it a question. Lennie looked away, suddenly shy. He forced himself to look back at Jack. �Yeah. I want to.� Jack nodded, giving Lennie a reassuring smile. �Good. In fact, why don�t you come over to my place? Say around 2:00? I�ve got some things I have to do in the morning.� Lennie smiled. �It�s a date.� // and this time we both know it! // Jack grabbed his helmet and jacket, balancing them in his left hand. �Lennie?� He reached out and touched Lennie�s cheek again, this time leaning in for a gentle kiss, just barely a pressing of lips. ��Night!� He winked, grinning, and slipped out the door. Continue on to Chapter 6 Send me some Feedback Back to the Story Index Disclaimer: These characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. I'm just borrowing them for fun, not profit. |
| Chapter 5 |