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| Tremor Tales page 10 |
| My Trenchcoat And Hat Hunched up in my oversized trenchcoat, I entered the mall restaurant and Eyed a waiter from under my Indiana Jones-like hat. "Gimme a secluded Table for one," I growled. "And bring Me a mug of beer. Hurry, I'm on Assignment." As I slugged down the Beer, I kept my shaky hand hidden In my coat sleeve. When the beer had Calmed my tremor, I hurried out and Handed the coat and hat to my tremoring Friend waiting outside. He donned it and Entered the restaurant for a beer. A Minute later, he was rudely escorted out By the waiter. "Get on with your job!" He snapped. "Stop with the booze." My Friend and I had a good laugh over that, And we hit another restaurant for his beer. It was there we decided to rent the coat And hat out to shaky shoppers who wanted Some booze to steady their tremors. Turned out many took up our offer And we returned home a whole lot richer. |
| Like A Werewolf I decided, though shaky and myopic, To put on makeup for glamor. I tinted my eyelashes black to their tips, Darkened my eyebrows, and put a Scrumptious red gloss on my lips. "Daddy drive up yet, children?" I asked. "Why're you laughing? What's so funny? No, I'm NOT a werewolf for Halloween! My eyebrows are crooked? My lashes twisty? My chin is streaked with red sheen? And my hair's sticking up all over! Oh no! Daddy's coming through the door." "Uh, hi wife," he said, and then he crooned, "One kiss before you howl at the moon." He pulled me outside, my sweet buffoon, and Like werewolf lovers we howled at the moon. |
| Hungry Neurologist I flew my ship to Earth where I, disguised As a neurologist, would capture E T'ers For their sweetbread with a fake tremor cure That looked like a pill. I spread the news about it And into my ship's office-like interior They came. Each took a pill and became steady. But as I turned to lock the ship's hatch, Too soon their tremors started again. Driven By despair, they ran out the hatch. Plan thwarted, I lifted off to think up A new strategy. One Earth week later, I scoped a blazoned newspaper headline: E T PILL WORKS, FAILS, THEN PREVAILS! I'd left too soon. Too bad I'm trapped In my crashed spaceship on the moon. |
| The Blankets Stop piling blankets on me, I'm hot! Now, now. You've lost heat from your surgery, And it's making you shiver. I'm telling you, Nurse, I am hot. I'm not shivering from cold, I have E T. I always shiver. All these Blankets are gonna kill me. Now, now, we Know what's best for our patient's well being. If that's true, you must see that I'm sweating. My dear, that's from your temporary stress. Here, here's another blanket. Oh I give up. When you see a puddle where once was me, You'll know my shivering was from my E T. The nurse left then and while she was gone, I saw that my tremors visitors could not see Under all those blankets. So when for home It was time to go, I wrapped them 'round me. Boiling hot, but hey, my E T was hidden. Now, everywhere I go, I wear 'em. |
| Pancakes For Breakfast Have you ever tried flipping pancakes in A pan? It's real fun when you have tremors Of the hands. You shakily grip the spatula, Shove it under the cake, lift the spatula and Turn it over just as your tremor jerks Your hand, and the pancake goes flying To the floor. Yet, you don't give up. Afterall, you gotta feed your family. With each new flip, you take a deep breath And, temporarily steady, you manage To land each cake in the pan. Triumphant, You cheer, "Pancakes straight from the pan! Not a one scraped off the floor." |
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