| Tremor Tales page 31 |
| Savoir Faire Buffet food everywhere, Worst of all in my hair. Carried my buffet plate Filled with food tasty great. Tremors shook it up and down Sending food all around. Now before a plate I carry, I raincoat wear, tremor wary. Umbrella topped, no gunked up hair, My plate I carry with savoir faire. |
| What'd You Say? "What's for dinner, my sweet wife?" "What'd you say, husband for life? My earring hoops loud are jingling And I can't hear a word you're saying. It tells me that my head's atremblin. Now, my dear, what was your question?" "TAKE OFF YOUR EARRINGS HONEY! COOK ME SOME FOOD, I'M HUNGRY!" |
| Eyes Closed Got to hurry, finish shaving. Yeah, sure. This electric shaver's carving lightning Strikes all over my cheeks, blast this tremor! Better phone my supervisor, tell him I'll be late. Hmmm, this pain in the neck Shaving is...I'll claim I'm sick. Stay home. Nah, Can't buy enough food with cut in paycheck. Better close my eyes to shake less...ahhh. "Hon, hurry! Musn't be late for work!" "I know! I'm on my way, bye." "Spent The weekend working on your beard, eh, Dirk?" "Huh? Yes, Boss." "No need to get bent Out of shape. Looks great, for a beginner. Your scraggly whiskers and raw skin Make you look cool, tough, like you fit in here. Hey man, being clean-shaven is kin To sissy in my construction land." While shaving with eyes closed hairs were Missed. Good thing, I might have been canned. After work, back home, I dumped my shaver. |
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| Fruit I studied the apple in my hand closely. "So, you and your fruit cohorts Will cure my essential tremor, ay?" I chomped into it, then sugar-free tortes Of blueberries, strawberries and melons. After weeks uncured by loads of fruit, And racing to the john with the runs, I filled to the top a tall slim flute With kool-aid arsenic poisoned, A well known escape from what ails. But all that fruit had my tremor worsened And the kool-aid splashed out in trails. I ate then six bars of chocolate And no more was I by tremor upset. Naught can get me eating fruit again, Except maybe bouts of constipation. |
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| Duct Tape "What the?! You can't just barge into my home!" "Yes we can, you're the guy who burglarized The glass menagerie shop, and alone." "Yeah, right. Me and glass? Hah! That takes the prize. Broken pieces all over the place?" "Course not, you kept your cool, that's all. Partner, stop poking me. Huh, we're off base? Yeah, there're pictures duct taped to the walls. Uh, and tape holding that vase together, And just about everything else in here." "Still think I'm the thief, officer?" "Hmmm, the thief stole a flimsy glass sphere. You're shaking, yet there's no fear of us in you. It all fits. Duct tape. Essential tremor! You can't hit a nail, or even use glue. And you sure couldn't handle a glass sphere. Sorry, man, looks like we were hoodwinked." "I figured. And I bet I know by whom." "The shop owner's lovely daughter, you think?" "Yes, she's incensed I won't be her groom." |
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