Ode to Mom's

 

Before I had children my tummy was flat

My boobies were perky-just like fresh picked fruit,

My bottom was firm and tight to the touch

But now it's like Jello and there's way too much!

 

What, oh what has happened to me?

Since I had you kids, I'm falling apart!

My toenails are yellow and thick as a fence post

And when I'm not ready-- out sneaks a fart!

 

My face used to be as smooth as a baby,

A wrinkle or zit, never you'd see.

But lately I was mistaken for a roadmap

My left eye was Guymon, my chin Okmulgee!

 

Where, oh where are my shapely hips?

I hate to admit it-they've shriveled and died.

There's extra skin on my knees and my elbow--

They match the bags under my eyes!

 

My drearns of becoming a model are shattered

I've devoted my life to being your mom

But it doesn't matter, the changes I've gone through

The love for my children is the theme of my song.

 

You, you are the love of my life,

All of my children, happily I bore,

I'd sail any ocean, I'd climb any mountain,

For you are the greatest blessings, galore!