"I want to get screwed" said the man.
"ok, mister, but this is a private club so u have to pay $20.
The man slid $20 through the whole.
Many minutes passed and nothing had happened.
"hey i want to get screwed" yelled the man
"What again" said the woman.
Her doctor gives her some pills and tells her to put one in her husband's drink.
That night she puts one pill in her husbands drink and they have good sex but not the best.
The next day she decides to put two into her husbands drink and the sex was better then ever before.
The sex was so good that the wife decided to put all the pills in his drink.
A week later the doctor calls in and asks " Hello hows the family doing"
the son who answered the phone says " well, my mum is dead, my sister is pregnant, my ass hurts and my dad is running around the house screaming "here KITTY KITTY"
"well yes i did once"
"and how did your husband look"
"andry, very angry"
At this point the psychiatrist thought he was getting somewhere.
"Now tell me, you say that uve only seen your husband's face once , that seems unusual. How did it occur that you saw his face like this"
" He was looking through the window at us".
One day the husband told his son to go tell her mummy that daddy needs to write a letter.
The son told his mother what the dad said and the mum said that daddy cant type a letter because there is a red ribbon in the typewriter.
A few days later the mummy told the son to go tell his daddy that he can used the typewriter now.
The son told his daddy the message but daddy said never mind the typewriter he wrote the letter by hand.
The human woman and the man martian go into a room and he strips but his thing is the size of pencil. and the woman says umm how is this going to work"
"oh not big enough, okay then"
All of a suddenhe starts slapping his head and his thing grows longer. "umm thats good but isnt it a little thin"
"no problem"
the man martian starts pulling his ears and it grows wider.
The woman is amazed and they have wonderful sex.
The next day the human asks his wife how it was and she replied that it was wonderful and asked him how his night was.
The man replied " it was awful"
The martian woman kept slapping my forhead and pulling my ears.
One day a woman was walking past a house and saw a blonde woman crying outside her house.
"whats wrong" aksed the woman
"my mother died"
The next day the woman passed the house again.
"whats wrong now" said the woman.
The blonde laughs hysterically
" My sister called and her mother died too"
"last night i made love to my wife three times and this morning she made me beakfast and told me a how adorable i am" said the frenchmen.
" last night i made love to my wife five times and this morning she made me breakfast and told me she could never love another man" said the italian.
When the american didnt say anything the fencmen asked " how many times did you make love to your wife last night"
"once" replied the american.
"only once"said the italian " and what did she say to you this morning"
" dont stop"
The paharmicist goes into the back room and comes back with an old dusty bottle. "this stuff is very ptent , only drink one ounce of it understand. it should be enough to keep you wild all night" said the pharmacist.
The weekend goes by and on monday morning the pharmacist is going to work and sees the man standing at the drug store.
"what are you doing here so early. how was your weekend" said the pharmacist.
the guy replies " quick open the door i need blue ice ( a pain muscle reliever)
the pharmacist knowing what the guy had done says " are you crazy you cant out that on your penis. The skin is way too sensitive"
"its not for my penis" says the guy " its for my arm.
"What? what happened?"
"well i drank the whole bottle of your potion
"and..."
"and the girls never showed up" said the guy
Just think how life of an egg is
You only get laid once
you only get eaten once
it takes four minutes to get hard
two minutes to get soft
you have to share a box with eleven other guys
and the only chick that ever sat on your head was your mother
