MAN LAW
44) A man must assist his friend in a fight unless the friend in question has done something to you in the past 24 hours that warrants an ass kicking. 45) If a man brings beer to another mans bbq, he may only take it home if the beer does not touch the bottom of the cooler. 46) A man at a party should not be caught drinking any bitch drinks, unless all the beer is consumed and its the only drink left. 47) When describing the size of a fish you caught, it is expected that you will exaggerate the dimensions with hand gestures, but you cannot lie about the weight. 48) Man needs only two tools, duct tape and WD-40. Duct tape if it moves and it shouldn't, and WD-40 if it doesn't move and it should. 49) When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence 50) Fives must be called at all times when getting out of your seat. If not, your seat is up for grabs. However, "house rules" may come into effect, in which case it is left up to the owner of the seat. 51) Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he can get up on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "fuck off" then you are absolved from all responsibility. Later on it is ok that you have no idea what his girlfriend is talking about. 52) No man shall ever keep track of, or count, the amount of beers he has had in a night. 53) It is the God given duty of every man to assist any other man that may be in need of assistance in obtaining every guys dream (threesome with two girls) 54) Rock Paper Scissors solves any arguement 55) Men should never occupy urinals next to a man already using one. Always use the Courtesy Space rule, by giving at least one empty stall length at all times. If the situation arises where there are no urinals available that would keep the Courtesy Space rule in tact, then wait. 56) When using a urinal, don't speak to other men using the urinals. If you have anything to say at all, stare directly ahead, eye contact is a severe infraction of common bathroom courtesy. 57) No wasted beer in the name of humor. 58) It has been made official that under no circumstances should the male have to pay for birth control 59) If two or more males arrived at a party by a single car, and the driving male is hooking up with a girl, it is the responsibility of the other males to find other ways home. The exception to this law is if the driver is hooking up with his own girlfriend, the law is then void and the driver still holds full resposibility of driving his friends home. 60) Short shorts have been banned.. unless in a participating in a sporting event that demands shorter shorts. Also no real man should be allowed to pop his collar. 70) If a girl and a guy are not officialy dating then it can't be considered cheating. However...if the guy cheats with a girl that is less attractive to the one he is originally interested in then he is either... A) Drunk or B) Dumbass. This then gives the original girl the right to either get mad or laugh at you. 71) No one should ever steal a man's alcohol from that man's cooler...this is the only law that suffers the penalty of death. 72) When bringing condoms to a party it is a man's responsibility to pack two in his pockets and one in his car as a spare incase a friend is in desperate need. 73) No heavy fornication in a friend's bed. Or just wash the sheets. 74) No man shall every use a rolling backpack. If you can't carry the bag then your not a man. 75) If another man's fly is down, you may not make a comment about it-however, it is acceptable to point. 76) When a man is borrowing a buddies tool or other equipment, if the borrowie puts any scratches or brings it back with any noticable wear, then he is required to do one of the following: If the item costs under 50 bucks, you are required to replace it. If the item costs over 50 bucks, you are required to give him a case of beer, because hey...who wants to spend more than 50 bucks on something that isn't yours.
MAN LAW PAGE 3
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