Politics
I predict that a new president will be elected this year. It will most likely be a Democrat after all of the bullshit that a Republican just put us through. That's the way things go. We elect a Democrat, they screw up, so we hire a Republican. They screw up even more than the Democrat did so we repeat the cycle. Anyway, I'm just hoping it's not that Hillary bitch. I'm all for a woman president, just not her.
Education
I predict that middle school and high school students will be tortured again by being forced to read so-called "classics" that are usually just bullshit (that's my third use of the word "bullshit" and I'm not even half-way).
Fashion
I predict that after centuries, horned helmets and leather armor will become popular once more.
Religion
I predict that once again the Catholic Church, led by Pope Benedict Arnold, will bullshit us (4) with their monotheistic garbage. About 20-30 people will try to convert me to some form of Christianity by December 31, 2008. I'll turn all of them down of course. Assholes.
Music
I predict that more bullshit bands (5) will form and crank out bullshit music (6) that sucks more dicks than Tara Reid at a Superbowl party. Most dumbasses will actually like the music, but there will remain a few who realize it for what it truly is: bullshit (7). Also, maybe someone will give Axl Rose the kick in the ass that he needs and he'll finally finish that concept album (Chinese Democracy) that he's supposedly been working on for the last fifteen years.
Cinema
I predict that more unecessary sequels will made just to put some cash in some bullshit (8) producers' wallets. There will probably also be some terrible movie adaptations of brilliant books, because Odin forbid we go a year without a few of those.
Sex
I predict that approximately 13.754658421585 new sex positions will be developed, most of which will involve great discomfort for at least one of the partners. On the other meaning of sex, I predict that feminists will be on the rise again will their bullshit cause (9).
Technology
I precict that Apple will come out with some new bullshit (10). That's a given. They always do that. Also, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates will finally come out of the closet, get married in Massachusettes, and end their bullshit feud (11). I could talk more about how much I hate Apple, but I'm planning on writing a whole article about that for the Gospel.
Art
I predict that some more self-proclaimed "artists" will do some doodles and try to tell us that their bullshit (12) is art. Yeah, right, dumbasses. Just stick to what you do best: flipping hamburgers and taking orders.
Comedy
I predict that we will get more genius from the brilliant minds of Dave Chappelle, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Demetri Martin, Maddox, and of course, me.
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