- How come, in the Mini Wheat�s commercials, Sweets has a Brooklyn accent and Wheat�s has an English accent? They're attached at the back, wouldn't they have been raised in the same place?
- If the weather man says "it's a 50% chance of rain" does that mean he has no idea if its going to rain or not?
- Is there anything easier done than said?
- Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn�t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?
- Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They�re going to see you naked anyway?
- If ignorance is bliss, why aren�t more people happy?
- Why does the label on children�s Tylenol tell you not to operate heavy machinery or vehicles when it's for CHILDREN!?
- If money is the root of all evil then how come churches ask for it?
- Why are the obituaries found in the "living" section of the newspaper?
- What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where
do you tell them to go?
- Isn't it scary that the word "therapist" is the same as the words "the" and "rapist" put together?
- If you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?
- Why do they put "for indoor or outdoor use only" on Christmas lights?
- Why is Grape Nuts cereal called that, when it contains neither grapes, nor nuts?
- Can a hearse driver drive a corpse in the Car Pool lane?
- Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?
- If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?
- Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?
- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out"?
- If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
- If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
- Why do hotdogs come in packs of 8 when hotdog rolls come in packs of 10?
- Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
- If Pringles are "so good that once you pop, you can't stop" why do they come with a resealable lid?
- If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
- If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
- Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
- Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?
- If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?
- Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
- Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?
- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
- If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?
- Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons?
- Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
- If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
- If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
- If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?
- If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?
- If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
- If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
- If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
- Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
- When blind people go to the bathroom, how do they know when they are done wiping their butt?
- Where are Preparations A through G?
- Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
- Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
- Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
- Why do they call it disposable douche? Is there a kind of douche you keep after using?
- Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
- Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
- You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
-Why do they report power outages on TV?
Borrowed from http://www.geocities.com/e_illian4182/funnythoughts.html
