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For the first time since I took over the Bone, I'm doing an OOC editorial. Unlike the previous editor's approach, I decided the Bone would be as pure an in-character rag as I could make it. The only time I'd go out of character was for something important. So here it is. I only wish it didn't have to be on this subject.

Thirty-odd years ago there was a song that went:

Is that all there is?

Is that all there is, my friends?

Then let's keep dancing

Let's break out the booze, and have a ball...

That song popped into my mind back in May, when the first BSE List met its official demise.

I won't name names of who killed it off, but the actions leading up to its death were among the sorriest and most immature displays that I've seen.The saddest part is that it's only a symptom of a more, and perhaps, terminal disease affecting BSE. I don't know what the cure, if any, is. I do have a pretty good idea of what ails it.

Let's start with e-mail. Any dim-wit with half a mind to type a message can, and unfortunately, does so. Players toss a message-bomb, just to see what happens. Another annoyed player gets on their high horse and spouts off about the remaining members of the List being "a dickhead convention" and moves on. So what if it isn't true of all? They got their verbal drive-by in and that's all that counts, right? It's like the brain shuts off the moment the fingers hit the keyboard.

How about the cost of the game? True, the price really hasn't changed in years. But it was too expensive when the old gaming regime first jacked up the price to reflect its so called "game improvements" , and yes, it still is pricey. You can see the results in the dwindling player base. Only us with too much extra cash, or too dumb or dedicated (same thing, sometimes) to quit are left.

We can blame it on the decline of player quality. Not the number of people (that's quantity, which is also a problem), or gaming ability, but the players themselves. Much as I dislike the word for its political correctness, 'diversity' here is the key. Fifteen years ago, players' real life occupations ranged from postal worker, welder, insurance salesman, high school student, psychologist,all the way to dolphin handler. There were even players who corresponded in Latin. Diversity meant different skills, different approaches, and most of all, different attitudes.

Anyone care to guess what the preponderance of player occupations are today? They're engineering/technical, scientific, and computer-based. Speaking from personal experience, people in these occupations generally have lousy interpersonal and social skills. Hence courtesy, manners, and leadership are as dead as the PFM. It showed on the List and it shows in BSE, both on the player and GM side.

In addition to the glut of the socially-challenged technoids, we can point to a severe lack of maturity, or worse, mental instability. True, all of us gamers are kids at heart. But many forget that we're dealing with other, real  people in real-world situations. So like a kid, we throw tantrums. It has always been there in BSE since its start, but it has become all too noticable with so few players in the game.

Look at the shenanigans BSErs have pulled on both players and the GMs. Verbal abuse. Insults. Harassment. Screaming over the phone. Threatening legal action over minor events. Notifying employers about using e-mail accounts that nearly cost other players their real-world jobs. And others who shrug it off the act like it's no big deal.

To be honest, I'm not surprised some jerk playing BSE hasn't physically injured another over an in-game dispute. Given the sorry state of things, it'll probably happen.

Another big problem: the dominant style present now in BSE. Despite protestations to the contrary, war gaming and role-playing are really like oil and water.

BSE was founded about the time of the Dungeons and Dragons craze, where character and position development were secondary to the battles. Now it's power-gaming and positions are merely chess-pieces. Characters are a little label one slaps on a position for identification's sake. Why bother with diplomacy or fostering long-relations? Hunters don't give a name to their prey. And the gamemasters do not curb it.

Yes, part of the blame lies with the gamemasters, both the old and the new. The Lords of Cohoes prostituted and starved their dream child, then licensed it out for the final buck after they had bled it dry and got tired of abusing it.

So now it's in a new company's hands. But running BSE is more than just keeping a former BSE player on the GM payroll as a de rigeur. And 'non-interference' doesn't mean "sit there and watch the machine spin itself to pieces". Take the recent so-called Great War. Had the gamemasters had followed and stuck to a certain SAM instigator's affiliation profile, the War and the events in its aftermath should never have happened. I wonder if the turn fees generated from the "Great War" compensated for the loss of business afterwards as player quit for various reasons related to it.

On the flip side, I wonder if RTG thinks the game is worth keeping. Being threatened repeatedly with legal action by someone who uses his legal knowledge the way I used to use C-4 explosive would probably make me say 'screw it' and go back to operating games that didn't require customer interaction (come to think of it, that's what ABM did, though their reason was more money-based) And that's almost what's happened now.

But there's enough blame to go around. We can blame it on us old-timers who don't welcome newbies and prefer to dwell on the 'how wonderful it was in the glory days', which were glorious only because we put the affiliation ahead of ourselves, welcomed new players and made them feel wanted, taught them skills so that they could take over our jobs, and dealt with them as people, not pests.

We can blame newbies who have no clue about the rich history of BSE, and don't give a rat's ass about it; "it's like any other effing PBM game and the you old timers are talking out your collective backsides".

We can blame a chronic lack of communication on both sides, "thin skins", no patience, too much research, too many ships, big ships, big colonies, too few players, lawyers, computer games, free e-mail games, not getting laid on a regular basis, yadda yadda yadda. Feel free to add yours to the roster.

So here we are, almost twenty years after BSE began in a former gas station in an old mill town in upstate New York. The player base is a shadow of its former self, players aren't talking to each other, and the gaming company appears to have barricaded itself in its Front Range digs. Every single player remaining or who left knows something is wrong, but no one knows what it is. No one knows what BSE is supposed to be about. 

"Okay, Smartass," you're probably saying, "What is BSE all about?"

Nearly all of you remember Thad Catone's sudden and angst-ridden death. In the aftermath, players who were bitter enemies in-game put aside differences, commiserated with each other, and contributed money to be turned over to his widow.

Now imagine that scene fifteen years earlier, without the tragedy and involving hundreds of players.

You could visit another city and get together with other players, even if they were in another (and usually opposing) affiliation. You met their spouses, their parents, and their kids, You partied together with other players (even the gamemasters at times), played games, or just sat around and shot the breeze. You congratulated them when they had successes in game and real world, helped them through the gaming and real world rough-spots, even if it was just by lending a sympathetic ear. And you mourned them when they died.

Yeah, you miserable cynics out there, it wasn't always paradise. There were rough spots. But at the very least you developed, if not friendship, a genuine mutual respect for each other as people. At the end of everything you could still shake hands and buy each other a drink.

BSE was Gaming.

Gaming was the means for having fun, not the end-all. And that, Dear Reader, is what BSE is supposed to be about.

Maybe it's time to put BSE out of its misery like its offspring, the first BSE List. That way at least those of us who care about it can remember BSE as a game that once was a great and wonderful concept, and not a sorry, shambling, unloved wreck.

Is that all there is, my friends? In any case, I guess I and Harold will be one of the last left to turn out the lights. There's always a final mourner at the funeral.

P. A. B.

We now return you to the in-character portion of our program.

Spring, Spring, wonderful Spring! Tis the season for all the new things to pop up, like ISP PDs. Is it my imagination or have we gone through five in the past two years?. Or is it six? Anyway, that's more times than the RIP have won battles. Oh well, maybe they'll do better on the new rules, once those get solidified and the screams of outrage die down. Nothing like a teed-off power-gaming war-baby. Seems they just go *poof* and quit...

Oh, welcome to Issue Number 59, Kids. Almost forgot the greeting there. Somebody's already asked me if we're gonna do something special for the Big Six-Oh. Nope. Well, maybe a little something. We'll see.

We're doing this one live from KAS Rubis. Is this a busy colony, or what? Almost got run over by three RIP ships on the way down. Those guys drive like they fight.

But the crew is happy and we've had all the R&R we can get. This would be a really great party place if everyone wasn't so damn determined to have a good time. mandatory Happy-Hour kinda loses its luster, y'know.

Well, aside from the big brouhaha over what is the difference between a battery and a volley, things have been pretty quiet over the past three months. Yeah, Rlo Krieger is the new Head Honcho of the Periphery. RIP Lord Bellamy finally hired a public relations firm to polish the RIP image from that of a buncha pirate losers to a group of wanna-be-aristocrats- trying-to-form-a-tax-to-the-max-government-while-masquerading- as-pirate-losers. The RoC in a massive display of intra-government failure-to-communicate and let's-suck-up-to-the-WCEism, basically wiped out the colony IND Liberty. But other than that, things have been duller than William Cody's wit.

On a personal note, I'm back to being an INDie. Yep, self-employed once again. But that doesn't stop me from putting out this high quality rag that you have come to know and love. Well, know at least...

Guess what? We've got an interview! Yeppers, a real one. One we didn't have to beg for. So without further adieu:

Recently, the Bone's "Ship of Fools" Tour made a visit to DTR Dentinus. Shortly afterward we got a message from Lord Mathias asking if we'd like to ask him some questions about the PFM War.

Since that war that essentially wiped out an advanced race was among the least known, yet most chilling conflict since the Great War, we jumped on it.  Since we were still on the TCA-side the interview was conducted via hyperspace

Bone: For the benefit of our newer readers, could you give us a capsule history of the DTR?

Lord Mathias: The people of the Detinus Republic (DTR) are refugees from the first rebellion against the Imperial Empire. We were scattered through-out known and unknown space, finally locating a few systems with hospitable planets in the area now known as the TCA (Trans-Canally Alliance).

Our first alien life form encounter was with the Samillians, which resulted in several skirmishes ending most favorably in the DTR's favor. Most of our other engagements had been against the Imperial fleets within the Periphery, since we had been seeking retribution against the Emperor for his unlawful disbanding of the House of Lords and the senseless slaughter and imprisonment of many of them and their families. But this has changed since the Emperor is no more and the Imperial Forces have been cut off from the Inner Empire, leaving the Periphery to fend for itself. A truce and mutual right of existence treaty had been agreed to and honored by both sides.

A stronger Alliance was formed between the DTR and IMP when the Samillians launched all-out attacks against KZK (who at that time were in the process of becoming part of the Trans-Canally Alliance) positions within the periphery.

Bone: How did the war with the Pennockans (PFM) come about?

Lord Mathias:  It was actually a series of events that lead to the full scale assault of the PFM' s home systems. The PFM had been pursuing acts of aggression, within the Trans-Hole against various members of the Trans-Hole Alliance. The TCA as a whole, with the exception of the PFM, were very strongly against these acts since it could lead to possible counter-measures being taken by the Trans-Hole into TCA space.

Numerous PFM warships were spotted scattered throughout DTR space, including several found at the DTRs Stargate. These ships were given four weeks to leave DTR space or suffer the consequences, all of the ships failed (refused) to comply with the demand. PFM agent activity was detected at several DTR colonies, with confirmation being made later when a few PFM derelicts were captured with links to some of these agents.

Bone: So how did it start?

Lord Mathias: The spark was when a DTR Warship that was making an escort run for some DTR merchants to the PFM HQ colony was destroyed. It had moved to engage a known DTR-posted IND vessel, which turned out to be supported by the PFM HQ Colony and other PFM vessels in orbit.

Bone: Who was involved in the war?

Lord Mathias: Joint DTR and WCE fleets were the primary forces that engaged the PFM. A lone FOE Devestator did participate in two colony bombardments with the DTR. It was later learned that AIS ground forces captured the PFM HQ colony.

Bone: What was the TCA's role in all this?

Lord Mathias: Other than rolling over and playing dead? <very big grin> Other than the lone FOE Devestator, they supported the DTR in word only.

Bone: Are there any Pennockans left?

Lord Mathias: As far as I know, there are no PFM government run colonies or ships left, but their citizens are still alive and well under the care of one of the TCA member races. There have been several known (and possibly a few unknown) attempts to revive the PFM government, but all have been squashed by the ghods.

Bone: Did the AIS really intend to keep the former Pennockan territory?

Lord Mathias: I am not 100% sure about this, but they did make a strong effort to convince the TCA to allow them to remain there.Their presence at the colony had surprised me as much as anyone else. The WCE was the only Trans-Hole government that I had requested assistance from against the PFM. I was never informed that the AIS would be conducting any ground assaults.

Bone: Can you shed any light on why the PFM was conducting these acts of aggression?

Lord Mathias: Well, we [had] two separate acts of aggression taking place. One against the Trans-Hole and the other, through agent actions and ship staging, was against the DTR. To be honest, I have no idea why the Pennockans were attacking the Trans- Hole. There may be others out there that could shed more light on this than I.

Bone: Why the DTR?

Lord Mathias: The reasons for the acts against the DTR I could only speculate upon based on my opinion of instability of the then current DTR government, headed by one Caleb Ashtein, may he rot for all eternity. It is my belief and opinion that the PFM was attempting to take advantage of this to gain additional resources to pursue their campaign in the Trans-Hole.

Bone: Do you think the PFM was acting alone, or did they have some sort of... encouragement?

Lord Mathias: Again I can only speculate what may have been happening, but it would be my opinion that the PFM were not acting alone. I do not know who may have been supporting or encouraging them, but whoever it was, left them hanging out to dry when push came to shove within the PFM's home system.

Bone: Looking back, do you think the AIS involvement was a precursor to more recent events?

Lord Mathias: In the eyes of the Detinus Republic, it was the pinnacle event of the transformation of the T3 to the T4. It should also have shown the universe as a whole that the Trans-Hole governments/races would no longer be dealt with or react as individual entities, but as a single force.

This is what lead us to believe that the entire T4 supported the SAM act of aggression against the KZK within the Periphery, and also lead us to realize that the SAM would not stop in the Periphery, but continue to pursue the KZK in any territories and systems. Hence the DTR involvement in the Great War.

Bone: Aside from the destruction of the PFM, did the war have any other results?

Lord Mathias: No single act could have unified the remainder of the TCA races/governments more than this action. I truely believe that many of the other TCA members did not think that the DTR would pursue the PFM as relentlessly as we had. They were used to those who were all talk and little or no action, but they quickly learned that this was not to be the case as far as the DTR are concerned. The singularly most dramatic event that resulted from this war with the PFM,  was the removal of Caleb Ashtein as DTR Speaker of the House.

Bone: Why?

Lord Mathias: He betrayed his own people during and after this war. Once by failing to send promised warships to assist in an assault, which lead to the death of my son Gordon. <sighs> The other was the sale of Bome to the Imperials. Bome was a major DTR  asset and a vital supply of much needed resources. The worst part of this trade was his allowing ISS survery ships to map and explore DTR home system planets. This act of treason was the final nail in his coffin.

Bone: Thank you, Lord Mathias

Nothing like finally clearing the air, eh? And while we're on the subject, I just got my very own copy of the Consolidated Star Chart. Mucho cool, amigos! Now I still get lost, but at least I know I'm somewhere on the map.

 Yes, we realize it's been too quiet on the war-side of things. Here's a little something for you combat weenies:

The guy who sent it said it's a Lemite on the right. Dunno who the one of the left is. If it had a forked tail, I'd say it'd be a... lawyer. Betcha thought I was gonna say "Foelian". Foelians have red eyes, tho. Although, it'd have to be wearing a suit to be a lawyer...

Letters to the Editor

[Hedd,]

Hey...youse stuck on 58 or sump'em?? Weese been waiting for 59 forever!!<G>

Drak Konner

(....somewhere so deep in space he ain't got a clue where!!!)

Dear Drak: Well,  Issue 59 took a bit of time but here it is. At the price you pay, what were you expecting- teh new combat program? As far as "where" you are... judging by the letter, I'd say somewhere in KME space.

Editor Harold Hedd:

The Bone I knew never made fun of the RIP. The last two issues were full of nothing but scorn for the RIP and its leaders. Looks like the Ringbone Gazette has become an Imperial suck-up. Did the Emperor himself give you your kneepads?

Friend of Freedom

Dear F.F.... True, the Bone makes fun of the RIP. But it's because the RIP have become a joke. Freedom? You call re-establishing a House of Lords, demanding taxes and taking slaves "freedom"? Just because the Ringbone Gazette doesn't like the RIP's plan for running the Periphery, doesn't mean we're IMPie suck-ups. Freedom also means the ability to disagree, "Friend". And by the way, the Emperor's been dead for quite some time. Just thought you might like to know.

Hedd;

When are you going to finish the "Rlo McAllister" story?

Wondering

Dear Wondering: Actually, it's "Rollo McAllister". There's only one Rlo, thank *BOB*. Look for the next installment in Issue 60. See, we do plan ahead. Yeah, uh, editorial meetings and all. Right after we take back the empties so we can pay the staff salaries.

It Happened at Werth

William Cody had decided to take a vacation and spend it at IND Werth. One fine afternoon, he decided to take a walk around the colony. Not far from the Guv'nor's mansion, he came upon a rather small, but palatial estate. As he walked around the back, Cody was surprised to see a couple making love under a tree. As he gaped in amazement, he saw other couples "coupling" on the lawn, in the bushes, on hammocks, even in a fountain.

Shocked, Cody stormed to the front of the estate, headed up the walkway, and banged on the front door. An older, voluptuous woman answered.

"What is going on here, madam?" Cody demanded, shaking his finger at her, "there are people having sexual relations all over the back grounds of this place! What sort of a depraved place is this?"

"Oh, I can explain, Honey" the woman smiled, "This is a brothel, and we're having our annual Yard Sale."

Don't shoot me because of the last one. I didn't write it. Wished I had, though. Any bets as to how soon we'll see my name on the RoC posted list? Nah, they're too busy chasing down ex-President Bledsoe, that pre-vert. Something about molesting an underage grub. And just think- a year ago I was being roundly chastised by Buffalo Bill for having dared question the Roc President. How things change...

Top Ten Worst BSE Feasibility Studies

10. Inflatable Star Destroyers 

9. Myrrian Pre-Chewed Nut Clusters

8. Rocket-Launched Suction Cups (for boarding)

7.  Star System Toll-Booths.

6. Freeze-Dried Spam (the meat product one)

5. Starship Back-up Lights

4. Drive-thru Shuttle Tune and Lube Shops

3. Coin-Operated Jump Engines

2. Focus-Streamed Silly String Launchers

1. Cloning Star Admiral Morgan

Announcement from the DTR:

After several years of loyal service and leadership of the Detinus Republic, Lord  Nathanial Mathias will be stepping down as DTR Speaker of the House by the end of this year. No known successor has been named as of yet.

Oh, wow. An orderly transition of a government. Canyabelieveit? Come to think of it, I guess you could call a Flagritz firing squad "orderly as well...

Guess we can call this one a wrap, Kiddies. Sorry it's a bit short, but I've got to do some more survey work. Found this absolutely marvelous Devestator in a used starship lot. It was driven by this little ol' blood priest back and forth to the slave yards once every 140 TUs. If I can scrape up justa couple more thousand, I can make the down payment. See you at the end of Summer with Issue 60!

Ads & Stuff

The SMS is opening its Markets. SMS Dragon's Forge (4306) Trian (4) on Quintar (SS 636). For Sale: 30,000 Cond. Fiss(243) @ 25,  30,000 Cond. Mets(170) @ 10, 30,000 Cond. FF(171) @ 10, 1,000 Mines(27) @ 400, 10,000 LBCM(89) @ 20. Please use Highport Only, and if you are on the IMPerial posted list.. you'll never make it. Off market private deals gladly made. Lord Carmela Croft / SMS Dragon's Forge

The Flagritz Empire is interested in recruiting future System Lords. Warriors, merchants, explorers, research specialists, etc, all are welcome. Any party that is interested should know that asset transfer from your old affiliation will require the blessings of your PD. Geth'rik Mallum, Ataman.

***Starcaptains Needed***  The Foelian Theocracy has urgent need of starcaptains! If you are interested in exploration, trade, or combat the FOE need you! What's that? You're a  human? No problem my friend, Possession will do wonders for your complexion and self-esteem, just ask Linda Blair!

ROC Romero (4614) is open for trade. 30,000 Colonists for 10 stellars each. 30,001 Food, 1stellar/MU. 10.000 Processed thorlium 54 stellars/MU. 15,000 Fossil fuel 2 stellars/MU. 30,001 Thorlium ore 15 stellars/MU. 50 GPI scrambler 900 stellars/MU, 10,000 Pulac 26 stellars/MU, 50 Zombies 167 stellars each. Inquire about free ship maintenance program. Save time - use our hi-port! Location: Blowton system # 164 SSQ 15-43, on Geeche.

IND AMARIS HQ (1037) IS BUYING! Fissionables, Fossil Fuel, PT, Fibrillium. We're buying! Power, BCMs, ICMs, bring them here! Mines, TMs, Life supports, you have them- we want them! Located on Allipon in the Limond (94) system.

Out Transhole Way? Please be sure to visit IND Allipon (1399) in the Limond (94) system. My used ship market can't be beat. You want something built? ASK! We're now able to build Survey Cruisers. Watch for our "Moving Sale" coming in the near future. - Lord Justin Jacine, IND Allipon

Free Port! IND Werth is the latest and greatest in free and open ports. Buy stuff. Sell stuff. Exchange prisoners. Shop 'till you drop. Party with the pirates! Werth is the playground of the rich and infamous. And never, ever a cover charge.

So we got screwed out of Permanent Mines. Myrrians can still build Myrships (10-10-10) and Myrchants (1-30-2). Both 100 mu/hull shift and are Nexus and Draconian Cluster-friendly. We also have licenses available as well as other items for sale and barter. - Der Laul, for the MYR.

Got a Hot Survey Find? The MYR are interested in buying information on molten lava worlds or planetary sectors. Contact [email protected]

Have Old and Outdated Technology Tapes? This is your opportunity to turn slow moving items into immediate profits and ready cash! You may be able to sell those tapes to the Republic of Corona and realize greater profits instantly. Terms are flexible to suit your needs. Please contact privately, we have extensive experience in this area and can help you with valuations and guarantee a speedy closure to the transaction. Bill Cody, ROC Office of Reverse Engineering

The Ringbone Gazette would like to thank the following:

Lord Nathaniel Mathias, DTR                       The Kasturians

Mystic Pizza II, North Stonington, CT          The Krieger Press Cartography Department

The Thorlium Chicken Ranch, IND Werth