2/23

guess what?
i'm an adult!
well, i suppose that my saying so means i still have a distance to go before reaching adult-hood...but i'm starting to feel quite mature! i don't know how to explain it, so i'm going to try and do it via list:
standing up for my rights. this is something i've always had problems doing. feminists would argue that it's because i'm female and i've been overshadowed by males my whole life, psychologists would argue that it's because i've been overprotected my whole life. social theorists might even argue that i have problems standing up for my rights because if you do so in america, you might fear getting shot. what does it matter? last night when buying my tube ticket and someone attempted to cut right in front of me, i walked right up to him and said "excuse me, but i was next," forcing him to the end of the line! how wonderful is it to be able to handle that sort of thing on your own!
not being paranoid about things. i think the whole concept of mad cow disease had pretty much died down here in britain. it's only the americans who no longer eat red meat. now we've foot-&-mouth disease to worry about. supposedly it can be spread through food (not to humans though), and every country in the world has a ban on our animal products. in the past, i would have flipped out. now, my attitude is "so what? it can't affect humans, so i won't worry about it!
not letting circumstances i can't change affect me. a good example of this would be last night, at "witches of eastwick." the play started 45 minutes late because someone in the audience got sick...so i simply went up to the ushers and chatted with them, making some new friends. why let what you can't change bother you?
not caring about other people's opinions. i need to clarify this one. yes, i still do care what people close to me think about me. i would never do anything to hurt them, but in the same sense, i don't expect them to do anything to hurt me. in terms of people farther away from me, though, i expect them to honour my opinions the same as i will respect theirs. part of this is from living in a foreign country in an international flat...everyone comes from a different place and thus brings different values here. if i don't respect theirs, why should they care at all about me? i guess a good example would be someone my mom knows. i know this lady has a problem with me because i've stood up to her thoughts, but i get tired of other people always bragging about how perfect they are. receiving an e-mail from her which i figured would simply include more of her bitching, i simply deleted it. i do not wish to associate with people who always act like they're better than me. they're not worth my time of day, because it's a futile friendship. especially when one person is too self-consumed to hold a relationship. the people whose opinions do count are the ones who also care that mine do, the people who care about me as well as themselves.
not attempting to be 10-minutes early to everything here. what a nice culture change! at columbia, everyone's early to class, but here, people show up right on time. it means that i have the extra 10-minutes to myself, and it's not important to be the first person in class or there super-early.
not stressing about schoolwork. i still worry about it, and i've had a tough week with one paper and one major test, but schoolwork is schoolwork, and it will pass. to let oneself get consumed by it is simply depressing. i'm becoming learned by travelling the country and reading books on the british. and by reading books for class! i wish i had time to learn as much about america though. at home, we never have the time to do anything but stress about school. i miss my freedom. :(

okay, so maybe i'm not becoming an adult...maybe i'm just becoming more mellow. but there's nothing wrong with that, either. it's the first step to becoming an adult, and i'm proud of how i've changed in the past few months. i guess i finally am starting to feel older, and i think that that counts more than anything!