Guide to Britain

Accents: The British people have many different accents for such a small country!� They range from the general Southern accent (heard on American T.V.) to the Scottish-influenced Northern accent.� There are also accents of the various countries comprising Great Britian, and a different accent for each city as well.� However, the American accent stands out distinctly among all of the British accents, often perceived to be simply another language.� Never to despair!� Kirsten has officially adopted a British accent according to her British friends!

American style: Any food or drinks prepared American style simply means that they are big, fatty, greasy, rich, or cheap.� They may bear no relation to actual American foods, nor may they actually be American brand names (ie: American-style peanut butter, which is somehow lacking a buttery taste).� Many supermarkets sell 5 American-style biscuits for �1, whare are extremely large and chocolatey when compared with British biscuits.� Basically "American style" is the cover for any fatty, rich foods that the British perceive as having originated in the states.>br>

Britrail: The British don't seem to like their trains very much, for they're always either crashing or delayed. Yet they're still better than American trains. I can hop on a train in London and get off anywhere in the entire country, riding in a train with full meal service and daffodil-peddlers. It only takes five hours to travel 400 miles up to Edinburgh as well, on railroads that are over 100 years old. Where was Britrail when Amtrak designed its train service?

Classwork: Classwork? What's classwork? I'm in four classes and have bought exactly one book for class since arriving in the UK (Japanese, of course!). You're expected to borrow books from the library. It's an especially successful system for my Introduction to Religions class, where there's often one book for forty-five students. And the schoolwork is recommended but optional. Out of eight students, I'm the only one who regularly does the reading for Themes of Japanese Religions, and the other students admit such to the professor, who laughs about it! Classwork is quite different from the U.S., but that's not all bad!

Crosswalks: In the dark ages, thousands of Americans were killed every day in London resulting from looking in the wrong direction when attempting to cross the street, thus being run over by stagecoaches. As a result, the development of white paint led to the handy signs "look left" and "look right" embedded into each street corner. If you're really lucky, you may even run into a London zebra crossing that relies completely on flashing lights, no coloured red-yellow-green lights, to get drivers to obey the pedestrians in downtown London!

Double-decker Buses: It's ok to hop on when they're stopped at a red light in addition to their regularly scheduled stops. You can also hop on one when it's moving if you're quite creative. sometimes the conductors forget who just boarded a crowded bus and if you're on the upper deck, you can ride for free!

Educational System: In addition to not doing the work, class is also optional, for both professor and student. One of my professors today was 40-minutes late to an hour-long class. Class went on as normal without the professor, though! If you miss a class for one, two, or three weeks, no problem. And if you want to hand an essay in a month late, that seems to be o.k. too, although I'm not planning on attempting that one!!!

Fish�n�Chips: One of the few authentic cheap British meals done take-away that�s not half-bad! However, be warned: true fish�n�chips are served in a cone of paper so that all of the grease runs through the paper and ketchup for the chips costs 10 p each, since Brits prefer vinegar to ketchup. And to be really authentic, you�ve gotta hit a fish�n�chips place where the owners speak Cockney. Then you�ve experienced the real British experience, although you probably won�t have been able to understand any of the experience.

Flooding: I thought this was a problem only last term, but it�s rained in the past day and now the South of England is under water. �Expect delays on trains from the South.� Gee, isn�t this country known for rain? Is it usually underwater?

Hostelling: Hostels are okay if you like sharing your room with eight other random people, and sharing your bed with all of your valuables. You can also meet lots of other touring Americans�and hostels are usually inexpensive (�10/night) for a dorm room, complete with wooden bunks and toilet down the hall. B&Bs are much nicer for a comparable cost.

Indian food: Incredible! It should simply be considered the real British food, for it�s the best type of food I�ve had in England since arriving, and far surpasses American Indian food! Perhaps the Brits should just give up with their own food, since the majority cook curried dishes often anyway.

Internationalism: There aren�t many people in London who are from here. I take that back�there aren�t any. Londoners have accents from everywhere but London, and true Brits live in the suburbs and commute to London. I found this out because no Brits showed up for school during the tube strike, but all of the foreigners came. The good thing is that the supermarkets sell lots of international foods and we have our choice of foreign restaurants as a result.

Libraries: Backpacks aren�t allowed in libraries here. Neither are bags of any shape or form, really. Instead you must queue up at the cloakroom and take any notebooks you need into the library. And the bad thing is that you actually have to use the library here�they�re not a decorative item, like in the states!

Pub food: Pubs aren�t known for their food, are they? Need I say more?

Rain: A forecast for rain in London is not quite the same as one in the states. Here, if a rainy day is forecasted, there will be four hours of rain before daybreak. Then the sun will shine a bit, convincing anyone gullible enough that an umbrella is not necessary. Just when you�re far enough outside, the skies will open up. Then when you proceed inside, the sun will come out. Repeat throughout the day. Stand inside the main buildings at school when it starts raining and complain about the rain, as if you�ve never seen it.

Toilets: After a month here, I have successfully learned how to flush the toilet on the first try! Don�t ask how it�s taken me so long, but I know plenty of other Americans who are still suffering the angst of toilet flushing. It�s quite a difficult task to master, and I�ve done so with aplomb. J I will teach all other Americans how to do so as well for a small fee, of course!

Traffic Lights: A yellow light does not necessarily mean that the light is about to turn red!! It instead means that the light is changing, either to green or red. Thus a yellow light for traffic is not the time to cross the street!

Tube: The London underground, affectionately known as the �tube,� is the bain of British travellers. One train passes by approximately every three minutes, yet Londoners claim that there should be a train every minute as in France. Never to fear! The London Tube is much more prompt than the NYC subway system, and it�s got signs in each station announcing the next three trains, their destinations, and when they�ll arrive in the station. And NYC still uses pencils and paper to track their trains, yeah?

Umbrella: Brits seem to be quite fond of their umbrellas. I�ve used mine twice in over one month. I don�t know why they like �em�a waterproof hood is much more successful!

Washbasins: I�m still not quite certain I understand why most British washbasins have separate faucets for hot and cold. I suppose you�re supposed to put the plug in and let it mix, but I never have the time. I prefer the �cup your hands full of cold water and then dump in the hot� method. Quite a task! In addition, if someone could explain why the hot water shuts off if it�s too hot would be appreciated! I�ve missed the shower a few times because the water shuts off before I can hop in!