Try trousers on backwards at a fasionable clothes shop. Ask the salesperson if they make your bum look big.
Dial premium rate numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack.
Ask a salesman why a particular TV is labeled black and white and insist that it's a color set. When he disagrees, give him a strange look and say, "You mean you really can't see it?"
Construct a new porch deck in the tool department of your local department store.
Wear pancake makeup and new clothes and pose as a mannequin. Occasionally scream without warning
Test mattresses naked.
Stare intently into a surveillance camera for an hour while rocking from side to side.
Stare at static on a display TV and challenge other shoppers whether they, too, can see the "hidden picture."
Ask a salesperson in the hardware department how well a particular saw cuts through bone.
At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.
Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties clashes with the color of your beard.
Leave on the plastic string connecting a new pair of shoes, and wander around the mall taking two-inch steps.
Ask the pharmacist at the drug store which leading cold remedy will "give you a really wicked buzz."
Ask the information desk for a stroller and someone to push you around in it.
Hand a stack of underpants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are "leakproof."
Try on flea collars at the pet store while occasionally pausing to scratch yourself.
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
