Crawling Towards The Sun

1. Vicki

I give up. I did it all for absolutely nothing. Because I'm just not good enough. Well, screw you Adi Ferreira, you and your entire poxy family! It's not like you make any money on that shitty little stall anyway! I can't help but scrunch up my once very neatly folded pajamas (courtesy of Sharon of course, I'm rubbish at all the domestic stuff!) angrily at the wall. It's not fair. I slogged my guts out and for what?

It's a bloody good job Sharon was so insistent on this holiday. I could bloody well use it now.

I'm reaching to grab the first of bikinis off the arm of the sofa when Sharon and Dennis walk in. And stop dead. Christ guys, it's not that messy.

"Alright?" Dennis raises. Doesn't sound much like he cares. Probably not over me using him as my dummy this afternoon. Well don't worry Dennis, doesn't look like I'll ever have to again.

"What are you doing?"

I love my sister y'know, but sometimes, she really plays on being blonde.

"What's it look like I'm doing? I'm coming with you!" Sighing, I realise how harsh I sound. It's not their fault I'm hopeless. All they've done is support me. "He didn't sell any of them." I mumble. "Apparantly, no-one was interested."

Sharon smiles, struggling to console me with it. "So what does he know eh?"

Actually, you know what Sharon? You are really annoying me now.

"He trades in clothes!" I snap. "It's what they do!"

And my brother, God, he's such a man. 

"Well, anyone can make a mistake!"

Cheers Dennis, I'm so happy now!

"Well tell me, what else should I have made?" I demand testily. Not that he knows. He's Dennis. He wouldn't know a good idea if I sewed it up and made him wear it.

He realises it came out wrong though and immediately tries to pull himself out of the hole he's fallen into.

"No, not you, him! I mean, you've seen their stall. It's all the same old stuff, day in, day out. I mean, he wouldn't know a good idea if it was staring him in the face!"

Hmmm, what a coincidence.

I just stare at him. He's getting quite flustered, pretty much aware I'm not listening. There's no point. Adi's put me well and truly straight.

"Look, Vicki, you can come with us if you want, that'd be great; I just thought you were onto something here-"

Oh God. Even Dennis believed in me.

"Yeah." I reply miserably. "So did I. Maybe I just need to chill out for a bit."

"Yeah." Sharon nods, her sisterly smile still in place on her shining lips. Actually, I really like that colour... might have to borrow some of that.

"Float on a pool, get some sun - go dancing with my big brother!"

Just thinking about it, I feel better - and I just throw in the last bit to catch the look on Dennis' face. I can't imagine he's the dancing type, but I guess you don't know til you've got three or four jugs of sangria inside you.

"Yeah, right." The look on his face says it all. Never in a million years, Vicki.

Ah well, it was worth a shot. And anyway, it's a tonic winding him up.

"I could go out. Make some friends... bring you back a girl - you fancy a holiday romance? Or maybe two and a bit weeks is like commitment for you or something."

Maybe I should just shut up. His smile's pretty tight and I guess there's only so much even I can get away with annoying him. "Yeah." he says, with a quiet burst of forced laughter. "I'm not sure I could handle that."

I look back to my half-packed bags, clothes and flip-flops spilling out. And I realise I don't have half the stuff to hand that I need to make this flight tonight.

"Listen, I better go out and buy some things." I grab my bag from the side as I head for the door. "Don't go without me." 

I hear Sharon just before I slam the door. "OK."

2. Sharon

This isn't fair. Why does this have to happen now? I know none of it is Vicki's fault but God, I just wanted some time with Dennis. To make sure that we were meant to be something, together. Otherwise, last night... last night was nothing. And it can't be that way. Because I wanted all of it. And so did he. That proves there's something between us doesn't it? Something worth working on? Hell, I don't think I'd mind if it was just the sex! But now, it looks like I'm gonna get nothing for three whole weeks, except Vicki waking up like a bear with a sore head every afternoon, demanding aspirin.

I edge into Dennis' room. Even in this dank light, I see the muscles in his back hold. He's heard me, but doesn't even turn; just stays sat on the bed, immersed in thoughts as miserable as mine.

"Family holiday then? Seperate rooms, brave smiles?"

Oh God, I can't stand it. And it's all my own bloody fault because I said I wanted it to be this way. I made a point of buying three tickets. I wanted Vicki to come. I didn't want Dennis. Except now I do. I want him so much. I need this holiday, and I need it to be just us.

"Can't you say anything to her?" I push desperately.

"Like what?" Dennis questions, turning his head and giving me a doubtful look. Guess he's not exactly been struck by inspiration then. "The truth? More lies?"

I look away, hurt and somehow disgusted at how right he is. If we can't even wangle this holiday together, how the hell are we ever meant to kid ourselves we can manage a relationship?

"Maybe it is wrong." I mumble, not wanting to believe the doubts that willingly creep back as the words leave my mouth. "After we've ruined her life, we face Dad, and what's he gonna do eh? Chuck you out and that's if you're lucky."

"He can do what he likes." he returns nonchalantly. "This is our life Sharon."

Our. Wow. I'm almost enamoured. Almost. Because he must know he can't say that. He must know what a danger our dad is to all of this.

"This is our life here, all of us. A family."

I want to believe that. I do. But Dennis knows I can't. He feels it too. "What, brothers and sisters?" he offers darkly. "Saying it won't make it happen. We are who we are and there's nothing that can change that."

I sigh and get up, leaving him to it. He could have at least told me something I didn't know.

3. Dennis

This is madness. The whole fuckin' thing is just crazy. Two's company and three's a crowd is really relative now isn't it? But neither me or Sharon can very well come out and tell Vicki why. We're not brave enough, and worse, we don't know that we're strong enough yet. That's why we needed it to just be us. We were gonna talk it out, we were gonna enjoy ourselves - and each other and by the time we came back, we were meant to be so sure. But I ain't sure of anything anymore and by the look on Sharon's face, neither's she.

I mean, how am I meant to go three damn weeks without going near her, touching her like I did last night? I'm not about to apologise for any of it, because I know, this time, she doesn't want me to. She's just as gutted as me, but that don't mean nothing does it? Doesn't mean it's gonna be any easier to grab time for us. And that's all I wanna do. She's amazing; and I'm really supposed to leave her alone for three weeks?

So I'm sat, sulking in the terminal, waiting for them to call our flight. Vicki's restless as hell, like all the excitement me and Sharon woke up feeling about this holiday this morning has left us and taken up residence in our sister. How bloody nice for her. I know it's not her fault or anything; it's them bloody Ferreiras acting like the twats they are and letting her down; but if I have to watch Sharon just smile at me one more time... I want so much more than a smile.

But it looks like I'm gonna get precisely nothing. Because Sharon sighs and pulls herself up.

"Where are you going?" Vicki asks, looking up from the floor where she's flipping through a magazine.

"Oh, I thought I might go get you a new stack of them. They'll be out of date by the time we board the bloody plane at this rate!"

"Mmmm. Well, don't forget to bring me back some chocolate."

"Oh right... not coming with me then? Just to show your appreciation?"

"Nope."

Sharon rolls her eyes as she laughs in disbelief. "Oh right, well cheers Vicki! You know, if I get lost in this place..."

Vicki's totally engrossed in the page she's reading. So Sharon looks at me, an encouraging smirk curving her lips.

Ah... alright then!

"I'll go then shall I?" I say loudly in Vicki's direction as I push myself up.

"Good idea." my sister replies, not even looking up. "Man of your age, Dennis... might get DVT if you sit down for too long."

"You what?" I laugh, trying to fathom what the hell she's on about and jabbing my thumb at Sharon. "She's five years older than me, so less of that one Vicks, thanks!"

Sharon slaps my thumb down and coughs out indignantly; "Four and a half! Bloody cheek!"

I just grin and push against her shoulder to send on her way across the terminal. I lose her at the corner - that is until I'm flung into the wall, finally out of sight and very aware she's kissing me like she's never going to again.

"Right, that was just cos I've needed to do that for about three hours, you're not forgiven that little quip back there Dennis, not by a long way!"

"Oh you love it." I tease, winding my arms tight around her waist and just needing to feel her close. "Bagging yourself a toyboy one day, three weeks in the sun the next-"

Her eyes widen in amused questioning. "Right..." she says dubiously. "...and I don't suppose suddenly having an older woman on the go has done your street cred any harm!"

I bite thoughtfully into my lip, knowing that the look on my face gives me a way. "Now you mention it-" I begin proudly. "-it hasn't!"

4. Vicki

So much for Dennis stopping Sharon getting lost! They've been gone for about twenty minutes and I know for a fact that the WHSmith is round the corner, surprise, surprise, full of magazines and chocolate. How the hell are the two of them taking so long? Bet Sharon's reading every single magazine for quality's sake before she buys them. And that in itself would give my brother enough time to go reaching for the top shelf, dirty bastard. 

Grabbing my bag, I reluctantly pull myself up and move across the buzzing terminal, and look - there's WHSmith! That took me about a minute for God's sake. I walk in, looking up and down every aisle and round every corner looking for them. They're not here. At all. Stamping my foot in frustration, I grab a very large bar of Aero chocolate and slam it down on the counter, dropping a few pound coins on top. I hope they know the kind of stress they're putting me under.... this is me putting the half a stone I've lost back on - just in time for three weeks in a bikini.

"That sounds bad." says a man having stepped up beside me waiting to pay for a very large bag of tortilla chips. I mutter incoherently by way of reply, and scold myself as I look up and realise just one thing - he's gorgeous. And he's looking right at my massive bar of chocolate.

"It's not mine." I say quickly, knowing I'm going red as I pick it up and take my change.

He smiles. "My sister says that all the time. Never believed her. Classic line though."

"Well then, what about you, er..." I glance pointedly at the bag in his hand.

"Rob."

I nod.

"No shame, me. These are all mine. Admitting it's always the first step, er...?"

"Vicki." I tell him, knowing I'm going even redder as I hold out my hand.

He presses into it. "Nice to meet you. Where you heading?"

"Tenerife-"

"Oh yeah? Me too!"

"But-"

"But...?"

"But I've lost my bloody brother and sister!" I bash at the chocolate and shake out the first strip as I tear at the packet. I break it in half, offering him three squares. 

He takes them and just as I bite into my own asks; "Ouch. Well, what do they look like?"

"Well, she's 5"3, blonde... he's... well, he's Dennis..."

"Your... little brother?" Rob guesses. I snort.

"You must be joking. Dennis is almost thirty! Sharon's thirty-five for God's sake and she took him with her because she thought she'd get lost... and she was only going to buy magazines!"

"What... and they weren't back there?" Rob gestures back to WHSmith with his thumb and I shake my head. "Well, that explains the chocolate, I guess."

"Yeah, which Sharon was supposed to be buying."

"Don't like being parted with your cash then Vicki?"

"Who says I've got any?" I scoff bitterly. Then I realise how he's looking at me. "I got turned down for a job today. It's the only reason I'm here really."

"What sort of job?"

"Fashion designer."

He nods in approval. "Wow. Well, if you're at a loose end, maybe we should go into business."

"Yeah? What do you do Rob?"

"You'll laugh."

"Why?" I push, feeling the anticipation build in my chest. Cos I'd love to laugh. "You're not a stripper are you?"

"Oh, totally." he returns sarcastically through a mouthful of chocolate. "Want you to design all my loincloths-"

"No, c'mon... what do you do?"

He just looks at me for a second, this little smile on his lips like he's trying to work me out. Then he pulls open the packet of tortillas and offers them to me. I take one and his smile widens. He's got a lush smile.

"I'm a make up artist."

Oh bloody hell.

I struggle not to laugh. "Are you..." I wave my hand in the air, trying to think how to phrase this without offending him. But I'm blank so I just come out with it. "....gay?"

And he blushes, turning away with a groan. "Oh God, not again!"

"What?" I ask, stepping round to try and catch his eye again.

"This happens every time. I start talking to a cute girl and then she asks what I do and... I swear, I'm just gonna become a builder!"

I stop, heart pounding. He just said...

"Cute? You think I'm cute?"

"Yeah." he says quietly. "And I mean that in a totally non-gay way."

Yesssssssss!

5. Sharon

I hate that I have to do this, but it doesn't change the fact that I have to do it. I tug against Dennis' hand.

"Dennis, let go."

He doesn't say anything, just looks at me like he's amused by the whole thing. And he doesn't let go of my hand.

"Dennis, please, Vicki might see!"

And he wouldn't be looking so smug if she did. He sighs, the smallest of sighs, which is almost hurtful than anything he might have said in its place. He lets go and creates a distance I was meant to be welcoming as he walks several paces in front of me.

"What the bloody hell's wrong with you?" Vicki demands, making me wince with her sheer loudness. "You haven't lost Sharon an' all have ya?"

"Nope." he tells her bluntly. "She's back there."

"Right. And has she got my magazines?"

"God, you really are a spoilt cow aren't ya?"

"Oooh! What's eating you?"

I rush the rest of the way back to where we left Vicki sat, needing to make my presence known before Dennis says something we're both going to regret becoming known. To gain my little sister's attention, I throw the bar of chocolate into her lap.

"He's sulking cos that's not for 'im." Then I register the guy sat on the floor next to her. "Who's this?"

Vicki smiles and so does he, pushing himself up to offer me his hand. Smooth.

"Rob. Hiya. I'm guessing you're Sharon?"

"Yeah..." I say unsteadily, gaze sliding questioningly to Vicki, who ignores me and rolls her eyes at Rob. 

"She's hardly gonna be Dennis is she?"

"Fair point." he laughs, flushing pink. Bless him. Wonder where she found him? "Vicki was wondering where the two of you had got to. I bumped into her mid-search in the newsagents. Obviously, you weren't there-"

I don't know if I'm seen, but I look uneasily to Dennis, who looks blankly back at me. I mean, how the hell am I meant to say that there was no way she coulda found us anywhere expected because we were making out against the wall. A carefully choosen wall of course, one Vicki wouldn't have had cause to come near.

"No. No, we weren't."

"We're sorry." Dennis interjects, in the tone of voice that's just too warm, too calm. He's doing it to get at me, I can feel it. "Dunno what took us so long."

Vicki doesn't quite know how to understand that and damn Dennis, he knew it'd be that way. And Vicki looks at me, her face all scrunched in confusion. But before she can open her mouth to question me, they call us to the boarding gate. Rob gets up, leaning down to offer Vicki his hands and pull her up too.

"You heading to Tenerife too Rob?" I ask, gathering my stuff.

"Yep. I never manage to get away in the summer, gotta grab the sun while I can, y'know?"

"Absolutely darlin'."

Then they just skip off, leaving me opportunity to at least mean a smile I send in Dennis' direction. He just about manages to return it and as he stands close, groping for my hand, I let him take it, working my fingers through his.

"You don't have to be so scared y'know." he says quietly as we start to walk. "You've just gotta know you can trust me."

"But it's not that is it? It's Vicki... I'm scared! I'm scared we're not even gonna make the three weeks and I just wanted to be with you."

"Yeah, well, me an' all... so that's how it's gonna be, I promise."

And somehow, I know he'd give anything to try, at least. I smile softly and turn in against him, stretching up to kiss him. He receives me willingly, casing my jaw to hold me firmer against his mouth. As I move back down, he smirks, stroking my hair away from my face.

"So much for if Vicki sees."

"I think she might be long gone."

"Let's hope you're right eh?" Then he offers me his hand. "Now c'mon, we getting on this plane or what?"

"Maybe we shouldn't. Maybe we should just let Vicki go. I don't think she'd ever notice we hadn't boarded too. Besides, weather's lovely in Walford this time of year!"

"Mmm, funny." he muses, snatching up my hand as soon as it is close and pulling me, somehow in a fit of giggles by now, across the terminal. "C'mon!" 

6. Dennis

Well, things might just be starting to look up. We have totally lost Vicki. She came bounding back, just to let us know she was gonna go spend the flight duration sat beside Rob, discussing colour mixes and stitching. There's no way I believe this guy's straight, but Vicki's Hell bent on finding out either way, so good luck to her! She did have the tiniest moan though, she said it took her ages to find Sharon and me, so wherever she is at the moment... she can't see a thing. Sharon's face when she realised that, made it so worth it.

We just sit there and I don't have to panic or look over my shoulder as I reach to hold Sharon's hand and she doen't have to flinch or look round for Vicki in a panic. She's so relaxed, even as we take off and I know she hates this bit. I barely felt it, too absorbed in looking over at her.

"What?" she giggles anxiously.

"You." I tell her simply. "You're amazing..."

And her glossy lips curve so willingly as she whispers; "I don't think you're all that bad yourself..."

"No?"

"No..." She leans over and presses her lips to mine. God, it's insane how much I can miss her mouth, how wronged I feel as she draws back. But I'm placated by the murmur of "Love you." that follows.

"Love you an' all."

She bows her head as she smiles. Her hair tumbles down around her face, but before I can try and stroke it back, she's wriggled to the edge of her seat and is nestled into my shoulder. I throw her off just for a moment and slide my arm arm her back, drawing her against me again.

"Even though I've totally screwed up the holiday?"

"Hey, how'd you figure that?"

"Well, I paid for Vicki's ticket didn't I?"

"Well, yeah..." I agree reluctantly. "But... this, you and me, it kinda just..."

"Jumped on us?"

I can't help but laugh then, looking at her so adoringly. "God, you are so eloquent!"

"Yeah, you can shut up Dennis, I doubt you even know what eloquent means!"

I shoot her a stony look and she bites teasingly into her lip. "Are you looking to get on the wrong side of me or what?"

"Why?" she asks, her voice tremoring in a way that says she's desperate to start giggling. "What happens if I do?"

Her eyes are shimmering like crazy, she's really desperate to know. So I whisper against her ear; "I can't show you that for about another six hours..."

And Sharon feigns the most perfect, protesting pout I'm dying to kiss away. "Oh darlin', what will we do til then?"

We came up with one solution - drink. Although Sharon was so taken with the tiny bottles of champagne, she almost decided they were too cute to drink. Note the almost. The amount of time it takes her to unravel the foil around the neck, I swear, the vodka I've just downed is completely absorbed into my bloodstream.

"Oh, finally!" I cry dramatically as she triumphantly twists the tiny little cork from the bottle. "So... what are we drinking to?"

"I can think of a few things..." Sharon muses, unashamedly budding her lips. But she catches my look and softens. "Sun!"

I nod approvingly. "Sea."

"Not going anywhere near it by the way."

"You what? Oh Sharon, where's your sense of adventure? It's only water."

"Yeah, loads of it, filled with jellyfish and stringrays and sharks and.... eurgh, no! I'm staying on the sand-" She emphasises the last word pointedly, tilting the little bottle to suggest it as her offering to our toast.

Unable to stop myself smirking, I push expectantly; "And?"

Sharon remains so innocently silent, but soon she's smirking too. Fluttering her eyelashes so painfully slowly, the giggles finally take her over. "Sangria."

"Wow." I sigh as I tilt the tiny bottle to my lips, tossing it away and already reaching for another before I have a second word out. "I can tell we're expecting totally different things from this holiday then."

"Hmmm... not so different darlin'." And her mouth is against mine again in a moment, her kiss hard and insistent as I taste the sweet bubbles glistening on her lips. "I promise..."

This was how the first few hours passed. We were living by the excuse that because we were drinking miniatures, we could drink twice as much. And yet, neither of us seemed to be getting drunk - way too involved in each other. I was starting to look forward to this holiday again.

Then Sharon gets up.

"Hey..." I protest, lurching for her hand. "...no-one said you could break up the party..."

"Well, what you gonna do Dennis huh? Come with me?"

Why is it I can read daring in her eyes?

"Where you going?"

"Loo...."

7. Sharon

Oh God, I really should stop smirking. But I can't. Cos my darlin', he'll take any opportunity he's given and he definitely knows that that was one. So here's me, telling myself not to look back as I oh-so-subtlely head off in the direction of the loo, my smirk only intensifying against my lips as I catch sight of the neon panel that proclaims itself "Vacant". Not for long. I slide inside, and flicking down the lid of the toilet, I settle myself there, crossing my legs comfortably over and rifling in my bag. I pass my time, waiting for Dennis by hunching forward in concentration and calmly filing my nails.

I'm working on the third one in on my left hand when I hear the whir of the door, feel a shadow come over me. But I don't look up, taunting him all the more as I continue filing.

"Hello..." I muse flirtatiously, my voice consciously a whisper. "...what are you doing here?"

"Oh I'm checking out the view darlin'."

"Are you now?"

"And you?"

"Oh-" I finally look up and his eyes are shimmering like crazy. He looks so beautiful and he's so close, so damn easy (and enjoyable!) to tease. "-well, I'm just sat here. Y'see, I was reaching out to press the button... s'like a compulsion is that... and I looked down and thought "I can't possibly do this when my cuticles look this bad..."

"Yeah? Well, let's have a look..." He beckons my hand forward, so I splay my fingers, making sure he gets my point. But instead, he snatches at my hand and pulls me up, sending my file clattering to the floor, abandoned and forgotten. Because he knows there's nothing to our proximity and that I'm pressed hard against him as he pulls me up. And a lady never gets this close only to appear so rude. 

So I'm kissing him immediately. Hard, needing to know his taste, to take his mouth as I suck teasingly on his bottom lip, enjoying the way my skin burns beneath his assured and exploring touch, knowing well I'll let him go anywhere so long as he doesn't dare to stop. And I feel his hands sweep down, his warm fingertips inching up my denim skirt, caressing my thigh as it's exposed.

"Mmm... y'know, I'm pretty sure this is illegal..."

Now it's Dennis' turn to showcase one irrepressible smirk. "Well, I've been arrested before..."

"And I reckon that-" I shoot back, working open his fly. "-is only 'cause you've got a thing about the handcuffs..."

"You do, do ya? Well then, you don't know me very well..."

Unashamedly, I pout. "Oh no baby... then maybe... I should get to know you a little better hmmm?"

He nods slowly, definitely agreeing to the suggestion, before he leans in, bowing his head and adorning the slop of my neck with the most feverish and insistent of kisses.

"Only if you want to. Don't want you to think I'm... pushing you into anything."

I grace his mouth with a firm and flirtatious caress. "If only. There's a good hour or so til Madrid Dennis... what if I can't get you on your own then either huh?"

"And why wouldn't you?"

"Oh believe me darlin', I'd try. But what if I actually have to buy Vicki's magazines this time?"

"Vicki did French at school didn't she?"

"Last I heard, they were still selling English magazines in Spain, Dennis."

"Yeah, but does Vicki know that?"

I can't help but giggle then, even as he kisses me. I bite purposely into his lip to scold him for being so mean about lovely, perfectly clueless Vicki. "You're cruel."

"Yeah well!" he throws back without pause or thought. "So are you. You actually gonna make me wait this hour or what?"

I could I suppose, but oh, just imagining the torture of such a wait when I am so obviously desperate to touch him, I think we both know I'd never manage it. I want him now, and what self-confessed spoilt girls like me want, they make damn sure they get.

"No way." I tell him smoothly. 

"Good..." And he eases his knee between mine, forcing my legs that little way apart that means I'm relying him heavily to keep me standing. Or not, the choice is entirely his. Cos I intend to go wherever he wants to take me. 

The one thing I can't get enough of when it comes to Dennis is the way he's so self assured in everything he says and does. I guess it's because he knows now how much I want all this with him. But either way, it's fuckin' sexy. And as he enters me with one certain stroke, never at any one time have I felt so... complete. He makes me. He makes me feel things I've never felt with anybody else. The way he touches me, the way his eyes never leave my hazy own. Stealing these kind of moments, however many thousands of feet from the ground and he can still make it feel as though we're the only two people, as involved as this. And hey, I suppose joining the Mile High Club is something private to hide away from the holiday snaps - and at least we can say we've done it, even if we're never gonna tell who with.

I love how he knows me and my body, I love how he can affect me as a result. He can tell, and subsequently enjoy that in the trembling of my lip, I want to cry out, for him, for every perfect sensation he creates between us as our bodies, tangled and feverish, rock together. But he knows too that we can't quite risk the release of such... audible sound and so his lips crash down, covering mine, offering his mouth as a hideaway for my release. And he too is tremoring, and I just know. We've no concept of time anymore, only these incredible pleasures throughout. Slowly, sensually, they die away, leaving us, not only amazed by one another... but apparantly certified and even better, undiscovered members of a very exclusive club!

8. Dennis

I'm still smirking as we get off the plane. Even when Sharon pulls her hand back cos Vicki's gonna be in the crowd spilling out round us. Past caring. Cos I'm just so absorbed in her, everything she is. And it's lush and warm as we walk across the tarmac towards the terminal. Maybe we should stay in Madrid, I mean, what's another flight? The sun's still up isn't it?

Sharon sneaks a look at me, rolling her eyes as she rifles innocently in the two tons worth of stuff she hid in her bag and managed to pass off as "hand luggage" and pulls out her sunglasses, opening them up and perching them on her hand. She looks so damn cute, I feel pathetic. Not that there's much time for that, cos she leans into me and mutters; "Can you at least try to not look so pleased with yourself?"

"What?"

But she just smirks, leaning against me as she cranes her neck around the crowd. "You heard me... is that Vicki?"

I squint against the sunlight as it pours down. "I think so... yeah!"

"Right..."

And she runs off, still looking totally adorable. I mean, four inch heels and yet, she still has total dignity. And really long, gorgeous, tanned legs that... oh God, totally a leg guy. So grateful for her need to wear really short skirts in this kinda heat, you wouldn't believe it! She's fuckin' incredible. And an incredible fu...

"Dennis!" Vicki calls as I near the gathering of her, Sharon and Rob, or whatever his name is. She rushes over the few paces and throws her arms around me.

"What was that for?" I asked, a little amazed.

She just gives me the kinda look that only a little sister can. "Do I need a reason?"

"Uh... no..."

"No." she says, grabbing my hand and leading me towards Sharon and Rob. "So you two, good flight?"

Sharon glances at me. She is so obviously smirking. God bless Vicki for just being too blind to see it. "Was alright..."

"Fine." I shrug.

"Didn't get bored of her then?"

"Nah. Kept ourselves entertained didn't we Sharon?" 

I know I'm pushing it, but God, I can't help it! Just to see her face...

"Definitely..."

Looking questioning between the two of us, Vicki can't quite decide whether to laugh or not. "You're both pissed!"

Sharon laughs straightaway, that perfect sugary giggle. "A little inebriated if you don't mind! Not pissed!"

"I don't get pissed!" 

"Yeah!" Sharon says warmly, finally looking me full in the face. "He only believes in getting paraletic!"

"S'only way!" I tell her smoothly.

Vicki just rolls her eyes and turns back towards Rob. "I bloody hope they'll let you two on the next plane... we've got half an hour to wait..." And she's gone, already immersed in her next conversation with Rob. I step up towards Sharon, closing in on the gap that Vicki has left between us and slide my arm around her waist, pulling her to me. And I love that she doesn't protest - she just cuddles into me, grinning. Then, she's kissing me, so lightly it's not fair. I want to feel her.

"Well darlin'... what are we gonna do with ourselves for this half hour eh?"

Hmmm, I have a few ideas....

9. Sharon

We keep walking, wound together, close, at last not afraid to be seen. We lost Vicki a long time ago. We're keeping an eye out for her though, we'll spring apart if we have to, but other than that, I want everyone to know that this man is mine. Cos he's amazing, body and soul. But maybe it's just the former I'm interested in at the moment. I have, after all, got nothing to do for half an hour, and that's just not gonna do when I'm in such good company, is it? We'll go anywhere, it really doesn't matter to us. There's only one thing the two of us want and happily, it's each other.

But as we round a corner, I freeze, stepping back and slamming into Dennis as I hide behind the wall, only just daring to peek round.

"Uh... hold-up...?" Dennis questions, his shape somehow moulding to mine as he leans around me.

"Have a look darlin'-" I tell him, nodding in the direction of Vicki, quite obviously snogging the face off the make-up guy. Now, we know she's not pissed, so I can only figure they must have had some pretty good banter going between them since Heathrow.

"Oh God!" Dennis sighs. "That's all I need innit?"

"Baby, what you on about?"

"Well, she's my little sister i'n't she? Means I've gotta threaten 'im if I don't approve of his intentions and all that shit!"

"You bloody well won't!" I tell him sternly. "Besides, if Vicki's hooked up, then... that makes it easier for us don't it?"

"I don't know." he whispers warmly against my ear, nestling in my shoulder to see around me. "Does it?"

"Well, look at her. It's so cute."

"Yeah, I don't actually understand why I'm being made to watch. I feel ill..."

"Oh shut up." I scoff, elbowing him lightly in the stomach as I turn round. "It's all that bloody vodka doing you in mate, not Vicki!"

I wind my arms around his neck and he presses into me as he holds me, backing me into the wall and bowing his head so that his lips are a few tantalising millimetres from mine.

"I told you... I don't get pissed."

"Uh huh, I believe you." And at that, I have to kiss him. It's a compulsion now. I need him so much, he almost scares me. Cos I know I'm scaring myself. But that doesn't mean I know or want to back off. I just want to keep kissing him.

"Although..."

"Yes darlin'?"

"If I... If we did, now... Vicki's right. We've got no hope in Hell of being allowed to get on that plane. We'd just... have to stay in Madrid... just you and me..."

Oh God, I'm so tempted by the idea I'm shaking in his arms. But, I realise with a sigh, there's one tiny problem, raising my eyebrow in doubt. "And you can get wrecked in twenty-five minutes can you Dennis?"

He smirks, his breath warming the slope of my neck as he tilts his head to the side. "Hey... I'll give it a try if it means I get you to myself for three weeks..."

"Well maybe-" I muse flirtatiously, budding my lips. "-you just can't afford me..."

"Yeah right!" he laughs. "I think we both know it ain't my money you're after."

"Uh... my money!" I protest indignantly.

But he just grins. And he looks so fuckin' sexy, he's annoying me. Cos I want him so bloody much and everything he's doing is just depleting my restraint.

"Well, what's yours is mine and all that."

I shoot him an odd look. I'm sure that ain't how it goes, but whatever, I don't mind playing along, pretend to claw thoughtfully at my lip. "What, you mean like, erm... amazing orgasms?"

His arms around my waist, he playfully twists my hips, eyes shining in a manic mischief as he smirks. "Well, well, we are getting impatient aren't we?"

"I never had any patience in the first place... you're driving me crazy..."

"Ha; welcome to my world..."

"Mmmm, thanks! I quite like it here..."

10. Vicki

I don't even clap eyes on Dennis or Sharon again until we get to Tenerife. Been a little, uh, involved. Nice to see the two of them were allowed to get on the plane though - I really was worried. Dennis doesn't get pissed, yeah right! I swear, he's like a naughty school-kid my brother. I mean, why else would he be grinning like that, like he's just done something he really shouldn't have? I bet he's pulled the air stewardess. And I'm willing to bet even more that Sharon has absolutely no clue at all. No way would she be so relaxed in his company if she did. She'd be giving him disapproving looks and the cold shoulder like responsible older sisters like Sharon do.

God knows what they've got to talk about, but they're having a laugh, which is good. Nice to see. I haven't heard Sharon laugh in a while, like, really giggle. So Dennis has got to be doing something right. For now anyway. Like I say, when she finds out what he got up to in the toilets on the way over...

We grouped and caught a cab to the hotel. It was then that Rob said he had to go. And I'll admit, I felt a bit gutted, which I know is pathetic, because I've known the guy for what, eight hours? But he's great. Funny and have I mentioned absolutely bloody gorgeous? Great kisser too, and then it was like he was gonna run off and turn out to have been some dream or something. But he's not, thank God. He's real - and not wanting to run off. His hotel is ten minutes across town - he left me the details and his mobile number and told me to call and arrange to show up anytime I wanted.

I'm not totally stupid though, whatever I look like. I stored his number in my phone right in front of him, phoned the number just to check I'd done it right... and maybe that he'd given me a real number. Not that I doubted him or anything...

Thankfully, his phone began to ring and he grinned, pulling it out his pocket and saving my number right at that second. I felt better then. He even took my bags out of the cab for me, how damn sweet is that? He kissed me goodbye and I mean, really kissed me. I could hear Dennis muttering in disgust not so subtlely in Sharon's ear, so I just kissed Rob harder, wanting to make the whole image a lot more unbearable for my darlin' older brother.

As soon as Rob has gotten into the cab and it'd driven off, Sharon turns to Dennis, gives him that "I'm older than you and that means I can tell you off" look (though Christ knows how it still works when Dennis is almost thirty!) and tells him; "Right, me and Vicki are leaving you now too!"

"We are?" I question, knowing I must look as bewildered as Dennis looks pissed off.

"Mmm-hmmm!" Sharon tells me smoothly, smirking. "No way am I spending three weeks looking this pale. Me and you darlin', we're gonna catch some sun!"

"Oh yeah?" Dennis scoffs. "All twelve hours of it right?"

"Don't mock!" she says warningly. "It might cloud over at any moment!"

"Yeah..." He looks up at the bright, cloudless sky. "...I can see how that might happen."

And even though it's obvious Sharon knows he's taking the absolute piss, she just smiles and says; "Thank you!" And then she's gone, heading right for the entrance door, with no thought for all our bags at the kerb. I know I should grab a couple of mine; but just like Dennis seems to be, I'm intrigued as to where the hell Sharon's going.

Dennis comes right out with it, calling after her. "Oi! Where d'you think you're pissing off to?"

She just stops dead and stands as tall as she can before swinging round on her heel and throwing him a withering look. Because to her, (and to me, once she says it) it's all so damn obvious.

"To obtain the wonders of the concierge darlin'-"

"Love your style!" I whoop appreciatively.

Sharon just nods, somehow knowing I'd understand. But Dennis just looks... amazed, his gaze not able to settle between us. I can't help but roll my eyes.

"Oh Dennis! Saves us the hassle of-"

"Having to carry your own bags, I know. I just didn't really think you two could be so damn lazy!"

"What d'you think I'm paying these people for?"

"You're not." he tells me pointedly. "Sharon is!"

I shrug. That's just a technicality. "The club's a family business isn't it?"

I don't know why he has to look so... discerning. Sharon, having so obviously flirted her way into the good books of every concierge this place can boost by flicking her hair and budding her lips as she bats her eyelashes, leads them all back to our heaped bags.

"Which bag's your bikini in Vicks?"

I grab it before it's seized. Sharon does the same and we both go over to Dennis, kissing his cheek in turn and skipping off together giggling. The last we hear is him muttering something about "needing a drink!" I do worry about that man's dependancies you know. But whatever. Cos me and Sharon check in and get the room keys. Her room has the balcony so that's where we head, throwing off our clothes after a hot and sticky flight and getting into our bikinis.

I'm done a good five minutes before Sharon is - no doubt she's trying to decide which one of the five she's bought she should wear. So I look round the door. It's nice. Big, bright and airy - and more importantly it has a very well stocked mini-bar!

"Vicki?" 

Sharon staggers over, pulling self-cosciously at the straps of the black bikini she wears. I have to say, nice choice. She looks good.

"Hey Sharon!" I say, passing her a drink. "Look at all this stuff. We need to get Dennis up here to mix us up some cocktails I reckon..."

"Mmmm!" she smiles, sipping at her drink. "Well, this'll definitely do for now!"

And we head out to the balcony, each settling ourselves on a lounger with our drinks on the floor beside us. It's paradise to feel the sun beating down on us after so long in dreary old Walford it really is. I close my eyes, pushing my sunglasses over my eyes and just enjoying the warmth. But after about quarter of an hour, Sharon begins wriggling against the lounger, leaning forward.

"Sharon? Are you alright? What are you... Oh my God!"

"What?"

She's taken off her bikini top. Total respect to that woman!

Adjusting her lounger so that it lies level, she wriggles round and lies on her front, reaching down to lift her drink from the floor to her lips. "You didn't think I was gonna suffer tan lines did you darlin'?"

"But you... you haven't even got cream on!"

She giggles, pushing strands of her hair away from her face. "So what?" She looks pointedly around. "No-one can see us can they? Besides-" She murmurs contently and rests her head against her folded arms as she lies down, facing the balcony so she can have some sort of view of the action going on around the pool as she lies there. "-I'm determined to get me a nice all-over tan, I am."

11. Sharon

I have to admit, I feel pretty liberated up here. It's paradise, closer to the sun, the rays beating down on my bare skin. This is precisely why my generation spent their youth burning their bras! I think I mighta shocked Vicki a bit - but not half as much as I intend to shock Dennis. Because, after all, if he happened to innocently wander up here, the poor darlin' is bound to lose some of his composure.

With that thought, I pull myself up from the lounger. Vicki straightens her back and pulls her sunnies up from her eyes, perching them on her head as she asks; "Where you off?"

"Oh! To erm... get a refill, want one?"

She grins naughtily, draining her glass and holding it up to me. "What do you think?"

I say nothing, just shake my head. I'll save the lecture about pacing herself for the three weeks. After all, we are on holiday. I fix the drinks immediately, leaving them resting on the top of the mini-bar as I crouch down, rifling in my bag and emerging triumphant with my phone. I flip it open and with some furious stabbing at the keys, raise the handset to my ear and wait for Dennis to answer the call.

He sounds pretty pleased to hear from me. "Wondered how long it'd take you..."

"Missing me?"

"Depends on your definition of "missing" really darlin'..."

"Well, if I told you I'm in my room, would that make a difference?"

He laughs gently. "You make me sound so single minded."

I fight the urge to tell him that's exactly what he is, because I realise how damn hypocritical such a statement would make me. We've gone across continents, needing sex, needing each other and I can't see that stopping. We're away from home now and I'm determined we're going to give in each and every time. He's good for me.

"641." I return simply. "Sixth floor. I'll leave the door open."

"Mmm, sounds intriguing. Obviously I'm gonna finish my drink first, the cocktail waitress is looking-"

"Don't push it, Dennis."

And I ring off, much preferring to tease him. I'm mean I know, cos I'm well aware that Vicki's here, but hey, he'll just have to realise what he's missing won't he? As I promised, I go and open the door, going back to pick up the drinks I fixed as I head back out to the balcony.

Vicki's spread her towel out on her lounger and is lying on her front as I was - her bikini top unclasped at the back and hanging off her shoulders, trailing down her arms and barely covering her pert breasts. She laughs anxiously at the look of amazement I know is on my face and she's the one that flushes a little as I put her drink down beside the reach of her hand.

"I'm not quite as brave as you Sharon, but you know what they say... can't beat 'em-"

"Er, yeah darlin', great; but don't you think... well, you do burn don't you and if..."

And if Dennis is actually coming up here...

Oh God.

"Oh stop worrying!" she grins as she stretches out, sipping at her drink.

But of course I can't. I don't think I really know what it is I've set up here. I lie there, rigid as the sun continues to pour its rays liberally down, my stomach writhing with panic and nausea as each minute passes by. I begin to start hoping he won't show up at all.

I've started hoping too damn late.

"Sharon?"

I can't even flinch in surprise. It's Vicki that's sent off into the panic I wish I could feel, leaping up and scrabbling to clasp up her bikini top and cover herself.

"Dennis!" she squeals, pulling her towel around herself too as he finally brings his until now, fruitless search out onto the balcony. "Can't you see that Sharon's- no, don't look!"

Groaning, I rest my head against the pillow of my arms, wanting to curl up and die.

"Oh my God!" he cries, leaping back in surprise and pinching at the corners of his eyes. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry! I thought.... oh shit..."

Vicki growls in exasperation and rolls her eyes, shoving past him and rummaging in her bag for her own room key and slinging her bag over her shoulder.

"I'll see you later Sharon!"

Alright darlin'!" I call back, barely with the energy to lift my head. I count away ten seconds and then whisper; "Is she gone?"

"Mmmm-hmmm. So-" He moves round to the edge of the balcony and crouches down at the end of the lounger I have my head rested to the side, smiling at him through nothing other than the sheer embarrassment. God, I've gone so red, I just know I have. "-you gonna tell me what all that was about?"

"I might." I murmur warmly. "Long as you stop - perving!"

12. Dennis

But if I do that, then the only thing to do is laugh. Because she's lain out here, her arms folded so protectively against her chest (I reckon she's doing it to torment me now we're alone - she knows there's no need to hide herself from me!) and bless her, she is being honest, I know that cos she's flushing with embarrassment all the while, but I reckon that's cute; which obviously goes well with how fuckin' sexy she looks right now. So I get distracted, but I'm listening. I am.

Apparantly this is cos she hates getting tan lines. Yeah, I can see that. But I can also see the glint in her eye. And she felt so relaxed in the sun, all that alcohol I so selfishly forced into her system on the way over, that she didn't think anything of a little "perfectly innocent" topless sunbathing. But Vicki decided to subscribe to the confidence vote as I was making my way up here. 

Cow, it really was all about teasing me. She knew damn well she had Vicki up here with her, comfortable with her body in her little sister's presence - and apparantly just wanting to see my face, wanting to know if I'd keep my composure. Playing on our secrets with such a hefty bribe, damn, that's cruel. And I'm so glad she's amused by the fact that I apparantly looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights. 

As I stretch up to kiss her, so glad of the opportunity to do so at last, I murmur "I'll have to make you pay for that you know, it's just not fair..."

She just smiles, pressing my lips. "Life's not fair darlin'."

"Oh I dunno." I tease, unable to stop my gaze travelling hungrily across her whole body. "It's looking pretty good at the moment..."

"Mmmm, I'm glad you think so!"

Smirking, I push against my knees and pull myself to my feet. She goes rigid in protest, lazily swinging each foot up towards her buttock.

"Hey, where you going?"

"To get a drink. I'll be all of fifteen seconds if you can bear to miss me that long!"

She flicks out her tongue. "Well, seeing as you're going-" she says sweetly, "-will you grab the sun-cream out my bag?"

I don't need to answer her. I just turn and go. I'm not an idiot, I have three weeks here with her and I'm gonna grab at every opportunity she throws my way with both hands! I mean, have I mentioned she's currently lying topless in the sun?

I pour myself a large measure of vodka and it fizzes on my tongue. Somehow, it tastes sweet, but then I guess everything does at the moment. So I head back out to the balcony, having rifled furiously for the sun-cream in Sharon's abandoned bag, God knows what spilling out over the top.

I can feel her eyes on me, tracking me as I move around her lounger, settling myself across from her on the one Vicki so kindly abandoned. I put my glass down on the ground and lean forward, tossing the bottle lazily between both hands.

"Pass it here then."

I raise an eyebrow in questioning. "Gonna reach your own back are you?"

She lays her head back down against her arms and murmuring; "Just can't keep your hands off me can you?"

I grin proudly, perching cautiously on the edge of her lounger. "Why should I?"

"You're just hoping I'll return the favour right?"

"Nah." I tell her, pulling open the lid and laughing as she squeals at the coldness of the cream falling across her back. "I mean, you can if you want - I'm hardly gonna say no but... I don't burn."

"You don't?"

"Nope." I press my hands over the cream, causing it to glide across her smooth back. It feels amazing just to touch her, her skin so smooth and warmed by the sun.

And she seems placated by the motion of my hands across her back, moaning appreciatively at my touch as I work the cream into her skin, moving slowly down her back and up again, teasing the ridges of her spine.

"Done."

"Ugh. Shame, I was enjoying that..."

"Then get up, need to do your shoulders..."

Laughing quietly, she pulls herself up and sits with her back facing me. This time, I squeeze the cream into my palms and stroke it across her shoulders.

"Ouch... you're tense..."

"Am I?"

"Yeah, right... there..." I carefully press down into the offending muscle. "Feel that?"

"Mmm-hmmm-"

I lean in, kissing the slope of her warm neck as I begin massaging from the base across her shoulders, exerting pressure through my fingertips, and it seems as though I'm finding all these hints of tension Sharon wouldn't even have believed were there. But I'm getting rid of them it seems, because she's cocked her head to the side to allow me better access, murmuring appreciatively as each one leaves.

"Better?"

 "Mmmm! Man of many talents you, aren't ya?"

"Could pass for a masseur then?"

"Definitely. Have all the bored housewives flocking you would. So..." She bites thoughtfully into her shimmering lip. "...maybe I'll keep that one quiet. Couldn't bear to be neglected..."

I laugh. "I just drowned you in factor 35 love, you call that neglect?"

Sweetly, she shakes her head. "It's all in your hands darlin'. Don't want 'em going anywhere else."

Proudly, I kiss her again. As she draws back, hands pressed against the base of my neck, she gives me an odd look. "What?" I laugh nervously.

"What happens to you if you don't burn?"

"Ah. Something a lot, lot worse."

"Like?"

"I freckle. Everywhere."

Sharon buds her lips in approval, her eyes shining. "Really? Well, I'd love to... count them sometime."

Just looking at her, so damn obvious, I can't help but laugh again. "You're fuckin' shameless."

"So do something about it..."

13. Sharon

And of course, not wanting to disappoint, my darlin' does just that. Driving me crazy, making me helpless with one kiss, his tongue invading my mouth like he'll never kiss me again. And he can bloody well try that, because I'll never let him stop. I want him too much, totally lost to the invitation of this one moment. He's amazing cos he says he never knew what love meant, that to think of me with any of my past lovers made him go mad. And yet it's him, pulling me up against him as he gets to his feet, his hands moving across my body so sensually, that shows me what love means, how it's really meant to feel. And if he doesn't know yet just how incredible he is; well then, I intend to show him.

But in the meantime, there's nothing wrong in teasing him a little, pulling breathlessly back from his mouth and softly demanding; "What's with the move darlin' huh?"

He laughs, bowing his head against mine and making me tingle with his closeness. There's just no holding out for this man. I need him now.

"Well, I don't know about you... but I couldn't help but notice a massive bed on my way through here..."

"Mmmm, funny that..."

"Handy though."

And I giggle as I find myself falling smoothly back against the soft bed, pulling Dennis down with me, determined not to lose a moment of his mouth on mine as my hands tear fiercely at his clothes. I mean, I'm already half-naked for him, he should at least have the decency to... well, lose all his clothes altogether. Cos if I had it my way, we'd never move again. We'd spend forever here, making love together. And for that, I need him to be naked, there's no mistaking that. And besides, he has an incredible body I'm going to spend every given second taking full advantage of.

I just never thought... well, they say there's someone out there for everyone right? And I just can't believe that I've found him. My someone. Cos bloody hell, I took enough chances in all the years of looking and then he just... ambled into my life, just like that and he made me come alive. Or maybe we could just scrap that last word! Cos every kiss steals my breath and every touch makes me beg for more. He knows it; that he's got this power over me as I become more and more immersed in him, needing him as he lavishes me with all these pleasures I honestly never knew existed. It's like he knows my body, my desires, better than I do and... how does that even happen?

It's just like... I'm not complete without him. Cos now, I'm lying, tangled in his arms, knowing it's him that keeps me warm as I quiver contently. If he got up now, I'd go cold. I'd feel lonely and maybe even used. And yet I still want him like can never be explained. We're each twisted in on our hips as we lie here, heads scooched into the pillows as we look at each other. Dennis just smiles and, proudly throwing my words back at me, murmurs; "Can you at least try not to look so pleased with yourself?"

I giggle, wriggling closer and kissing his mouth as I return a definite; "No!"

And then I just struck by how impossibly beautiful he is, how right it feels to be lying in his arms like this, knowing what just went on between us. Once, it would all have been regrets. Now, I'm just looking for round two. (To be fair, we're on round four or five by now if you count from last night, which was pretty much the start of our relationship.) I feel my lips curve into an approving smile at the thought. Me, Sharon Watts... in a relationship. I mean, I could call Dennis my lover and that wouldn't mean anything. Because we're more than a one-night stand. I know so much more of him than his name - I know he loves me. This is a meaningful relationship.

Contently, I reach for his hand, stroking his fingers as they lie between us against the pillow.

"Dennis?" I say softly.

"Mmmm?"

"Have you... Has it ever-?" But the words get muddled and hurry away before I can get them out. And suddenly, I'm anxious. "Tell me if I'm jumping the gun or anything... but... whoever else you've... been with; has it... ever felt- I dunno... like this?"

For a few agonising seconds, he just looks at me, his face entirely unchanged like none of my words have registered at all. And I'm wondering if he's rebuking me, in saying nothing. But then he smiles, this tiny laugh escaping him, like he's amused by it all, his eyes twinkling. Bastard looks fuckin' gorgeous. How dare he do that when I have no idea what he's going to say to me?

"No."

He says it, his hand sneaking comfortably into mine as our fingers become tangled. And I love him so much in the one moment, because I can see in his eyes that he means it. There's a fresh kinda innocence there (Dennis? Innocence? Alright, I know!) that says that, to him, it's all about us. And that makes me feel...

Like kissing him. Wildly, passionately, obsessed with every second of our closeness. I love how his kiss feels as it comes back, how it tastes. Drunk, crazy - mine, his lips hard on mine as he invites my tongue into his mouth, stroking it, probing it, making me burn.

And I'm crazy about how amazed and in awe he looks as we at last dare to break apart, forcing in a force needed breath.

"What was that for?"

I smile lovingly. "Cos now I feel special..." 

I snuggle down against him, deliciously warm in his arms, but wriggle again almost immediately, catching sight of the smile he returns to me as he says; "That's cos you are."

 And I bow my head, littering the smooth plane of his chest with a trail of exploratory kisses. "We feel special."

14.

I can't quite believe how all the hours have gone by. The sky's dark, glittering with stars before I can even drag myself from Dennis' arms. I swing my legs to the floor, and I feel him wriggle beneath the duvet, his gorgeous eyes burning into my bare back.

"Looking for your bags right?" he murmurs smugly. It's alright for him. He knows full well he has clothes - I took them off! What am I supposed to do? However warm it is here, I'm hardly gonna stay in my bikini all day and night am I? "God, the concierge are awful aren't they?"

"It's not funny Dennis!" I snap, pulling the edge of the duvet self-consciously around my naked body.

I feel the mattress sink a little way beneath me as he pushes himself up, pressing his hands into my shoulders and kissing the base of my neck. "D'you want me to go chase 'em up? I'll go check on Vicki while I'm at it yeah?"

I stiffen, turning in suspicion. "Why?"

He smirks. "Well, we'll know how tonight's gonna pan out for us once we know what she's up to right?"

I have to admit, his train of thought is infectious and I can't help but smile too, nodding gently. "Yeah. Yeah, we will."

And he turns away, pulling on his clothes and then sliding out the door with a warm and telling backward glance. And because there's no way I can count away the minutes, each one feels like hours, the warmth of his body leaving the sheets he lay against within seconds. God, how pathetic is that I miss him already? And I still will, having to slink back into pretending there's nothing between us. I love Vicki, I do; I love spending time with her and I hate having to lie to her. But in denying Dennis, I'm lying to myself.

Thankfully, I don't have to dwell on the agony of such a realisation for long because Dennis comes back with my cases. 

He sets them down and gives me a bemused look as he straightens up, wincing in pain. "You really don't believe in travelling light do you darlin'?"

I smile sweetly, innocently shrugging my shoulders. Dennis just chuckles disbelivingly and slips past the obstacle of my cases, sinking down onto the bed and kissing me hard on the mouth. He rests his head against mine, lips curving into a soft smile as he strokes along the line of my jaw with the pads of his thumbs.

"They told me my stuff was already in my room and I reckon it is. But your lot... they were waiting for you to come down and want 'em, it was obvious. The senior guy, dark hair, he looked well pissed when I turned up. Wanted an excuse to chat you up, no bloody question..."

I giggle. "He can try. Won't get very far though."

"Mmmm, glad to hear it. Now... why don't you try going through your two dozens outfits and dressing up for me while I go check on Vicki?"

"Oh, I think I can manage that..."

He gets up again, grinning proudly as he paces back towards the door. "Knew you could."

I wait until the door clicks shut behind him and push myself up excitedly. Cos I know exactly what I want him to see me in. It's just a case of finding it is all. Surprisingly that doesn't take me that long. I find it halfway down the first case I wrestle onto its side so I can open it. Shaking out the folds, I unzip the dress and step into it, pulling it over my hips. The zip fastened snugly, I pull the halterneck strap over my head, smoothing the material over my chest. The way it's holding my bust up is pretty impressive and I know Dennis will appreciate it. I quickly reapply my eye make-up and slick a coat of gloss onto my lips a confident, daring red that matches the colour of the dress. 

I rush barefoot across the room, crouching and rifling in my never-ending bag of hand luggage for my hairbrush. Cocking my head as I look into the mirror, I brush through my smooth hair. It settles, feeling silky against my shoulders. Oh, I don't look bad at all. But, oh God.... shoes. I'm thrown into a panic. Red sandals, killer heel, oh God, where are they? I almost fall over everything else spilling from the case in my frantic search, throwing clothes carelessly over my shoulder until I have uncovered, oh thank God... shoes!

I yank them triumphantly out, steadying myself against my other case, still stood upright and forcing each shoe onto my foot. I'm surprised by the sheer height of them as I put both heels to the floor, I'm almost scared to be up this high! But the straps are secure around my ankles. I'll be fine... I think.

"Oh God!" I cry out in terror as I straighten up and see Dennis has apparantly just appeared in front of me. "You scared the life out of me!"

He smiles in nervous apology, but the expression dies away, his eyes wide. "Fuck..." he murmurs, biting into his lip as he looks me up and down.

"Maybe." I tease, swinging my hair over my shoulder. "I guess it depends..."

Dennis grins. "Oh yeah? Well, guess what?"

"What?"

"Vicki ain't here. One of the doormen reckons she got in a taxi to go across town. Think she's heading to that guy's hotel tonight y'know."

"Really? Well-" I move the few steps towards him, sliding my arms comfortably around his waist as his own surround me. "-that's it then isn't it? We're just gonna have to entertain ourselves..."

"Mmmm..." he murmurs appreciatively, his hands sliding amourously down over my hips and across my thighs. "...y'know, I was hoping you might say that..."

"...so we're going out. Don't look at me like that, what are we gonna do otherwise? Spend this whole holiday in bed?"

"Uh, yeah!"

"Dennis!"

"What?"

I roll my eyes, despairing of his perpetulance. "We-" I say firmly. "-are going out. Cos you know the best bit? I can just... stop in the middle of the street, any street and decide I wanna snog your face off. And I'll get away with it too. Cos if there's no Vicki... there's no pretending... it's just us... just another couple on holiday..."

"Suits me." Dennis says softly, smiling as he bows his head to bruise my mouth again. "But seriously, you gonna be alright walking across town in shoes like that?"

"Course." I tell him, beaming affectionately at my shoes. "You're gonna be holding my hand the whole way round aren't you?"

With that, I offer him my hand. He just stares in amazement at it for a couple of seconds and then locks his fingers through mine. "Yeah, I am."

"So... just cos you love me, you're taking me out to dinner, and  we're gonna get really drunk, eat stupidly rich food, get a little bit more drunk and then-"

"-you'll throw up."

I can't help but laugh, cos we both know how probable it is. But just for Dennis, I'll try my best to refrain. "Well, that wasn't quite what I had in mind y'know..."

"Oh no?"

I shake my head slowly, my eyes never leaving his, shimmering with the suggestion. He just can't come the innocent, not with me. But it is fuckin' sexy.

"No. But I suppose it all hangs on how far into town we go." Flirtatiously, I trace circles with my finger-tip on his chest before I raise my eyes back up to his face. "Cos you know, I just might not be able to... contain myself til we arrive back. We might well just have to, uh... make an exhibition of ourselves..." 

15.

I think I've died and gone to Heaven. I keep looking round expecting something to go wrong. Anything at all. But it hasn't. Because Dennis and me, we just walked. And it didn't even matter that my feet were aching as soon as we were off the boulevard on which our hotel stands. Because I was leant against Dennis, my arm around his back; his across my shoulders, pulling me close, steadying me... keeping me warm. I wanted to keep walking forever, just staring at the stars and thinking that, tonight, maybe somebody up there loved us.

Maybe more than I first thought, because in the end, we didn't walk that far at all. We found this gorgeous restuarant about half a mile away. Small, intimate, bathing in candle-light - somewhere it was obvious people came to not be found, or known. And that's exactly what Dennis and I need.

So here we are, settled opposite one another across a small table, a large linen cloth draped over it, tea lights floating in a tray of scented water. It's beautiful and yet it's still us. Cos Dennis is there, downing vodka. And I might just have... uh... ordered a whole bottle of wine to satisfy my one glass....

Dennis watches me fill it with a look of despairing on his face, even as he smiles. It's like he couldn't have expected anything better of me. I challenge his look with a raised eyebrow and then set the bottle down. He nods slowly in recognition of my readyness and asks;

"Right then, what we drinking to?"

I pretend to muse thoughtfully over it, but raise my glass in certainty seconds later. "To Rob."

"Ah." Dennis smiles approvingly. "Our saviour right?"

"Yeah. So you've gotta leave him alone. We need him on side."

Our glasses clink against one another and I know he understands the importance. And I'm just looking at him, watching the warm light go off his face and I can't believe how beautiful he looks.

"What?" he asks nervously, apparantly unnerved by my wordless attention. It's then that I realise just how long I've been there, gazing at him, cos there's a waiter stood hovering over us, with our dishes in his hands.

"Nothing." I smile, forcing myself to snap out of it, straightening up in my chair and allowing the waiter room to set the dishes down in front of us.

"Sir... Madam..."

And I've taken in all of four mouthful of salad when Dennis looks up, swallowing down his own mouthful of food and asking as he gestures with a nod to his own plate; "Did you wanna try some?"

I grimace, snatching up my wine glass and steadily draining it. "No!"

"Why not... I can recommend it!"

"Sushi?" I splutter, feeling the buzz of the wine race to my head. "Dennis, it's practically still breathing."

"Oh, don't be such a drama queen, c'mere..."

"Mmmm!" I shake my head fiercely as I fill my glass again. "Really, no..."

"Sharon, c'mon... just try it."

"I have!" I protest. "Once. I threw up. My boyfriend at the time was terrified... thought I was pregnant."

Dennis snorts out his laughter. "Yeah? And who was he?"

"Who was who?"

"The boyfriend."

I smirk, sensing in his tone he's getting predatory. I twist my fork into the bed of lettuce leaves. "His name was Chris. Think I was... nineteen. We were on holiday at the time too actually. Can't remember where we were though... rained the whole time. Was glad to go home."

"Get bored then?"

I lift my head, my gaze level with his. "What d'you want me to say Dennis? That we sat up every night playing Scrabble?"

He narrows his eyes. "You don't know how to play Scrabble!"

I gasp. "What?"

"Vicki told me! You kept thinking putting an "S" on the end of everything meant you won."

"Little bitch! I'm telling you, she's wrong!"

"Yeah? So what does triple word score mean Sharon?"

I purse my lips in thought, feeling very pressurised. "I dunno." I hunch my shoulders. "You've gotta make three words out of your letters or something-"

And he laughs, dropping his fork and slumping back in his chair. "God, you're so cute."

Take it I was wrong then?

"Shut up." I tell him. "Me and Chris weren't playing Scrabble darlin'..."

"Well... good for him."

"Nah, not really. I dunno if you'll be able to believe this Dennis, but I never really thought much of sex then."

And, predictably, he raises his eyebrow, giving me a doubtful look.

"It's true. I was almost... seventeen when I first did it, and even then it was only cos I thought I had to; y'know, to be normal? Between then and Chris, I probably went with... five men?"

"Wow. Talk about living on different sides of the track."

"Well c'mon then Casanova... tell your latest squeeze all won't you?"

"Fire away sweetheart." he prompts sweetly, sipping at more vodka and clicking his fingers to demand a refill from the waiter.

"First time... how old were ya?"

"Hmmm..." He glances thoughtfully at the ceiling, only looking back at me when he can return his answer. "...going on fifteen I think..."

I blink, astonished to say the least. He smirks at my expression so I compose myself, clearing my throat as I move to top up my empty glass and appear indifferent.

"And was..."

"Kelly." he tells me smoothly.

"...Kelly any good?"

And Dennis laughs, his newly filled glass of vodka bubbling with the effect of it. "How the bloody hell am I supposed to know? I was wasted."

"So how did you know it was worth going back for more eh?"

"Cos Kelly got it all round school how damn irresistable I was." God, he looks so proud of himself. "Her best friend came on to me three days later, and she was bloody good!"

"You slept with her?"

"Yeah...?" 

I scoff scornfully. "I can't believe you don't see the problem with that!"

"Oh, climb off your soapbox love, this is fifteen years ago we're talking!"

"It's the principle..."

"What bloody principles? I was fifteen, Sharon, girls everywhere!"

"Yeah, and none of 'em meant fuck all right?"

"No." he says, without hesitation. "Not til now."

"See, the thing is Dennis, I have a horrible suspicion you've probably said that to every one of the... however many hundreds of women you've slept with, just to keep 'em coming back. Why the hell are you lookin' at me like that?"

He sets down his glass and reaches across the table for my hand. "Because you, my darlin', are jealous."

"No, I'm not."

"You are!" he laughs, nodding certainly. "Jealous of people that don't mean nothing!"

"It's not jealousy." I mumble pathetically, captivated by the sight of his hand over mine. Something so innocent and yet something so loving that he just wouldn't be able to do if we weren't secluded here. I slide my fingers through his, loving the feel of this connection. "I'm just... curious, that's all."

"About my sex life, '89 to present day yeah? Alright, let me settle your curiousity a bit. I made a point of never sleeping with the same woman for more than a week. I'd always take numbers, but I'd never call. Kate's the only exception alright, she stayed periodical and that was cos she was a copper and I was pretty proud of myself. Otherwise, it was always love 'em and leave 'em. That's it."

"Alright. So tell me about someone who lasted the week."

"Carley." he says reluctantly.

"What about her?"

"Well, how should I know? It's you that wants details."

I bow my head, hair spilling around my face. I feel like I'm... interrogating him, I feel bad. But maybe I just want to know. I want to know everything there is to know about him and that includes being able to accept his past.

"Weirdest place you ever did it?"

"With Carley? Oh God, I'm glad you asked that!"

I can't help but laugh with him, squeezing his hand a little tighter. "Why?"

"Southend Pier, couple of days after my... 21st. Waltzer."

I splutter dangerously on my mouthful of wine, slamming down the glass before I drop it. Giggling helplessly, I beg to know; "Please tell me it wasn't..." But I can't find the words. I'm laughing too hard and am reduced to twisting my fingertip round in a circle.

"No, it wasn't, but God, that's gotta be worth a try!"

"What?"

"Oh baby, c'mon! There's enough people screaming their heads off on them things not to notice a..."

"Innocent fuck?"

His eyes flutter closed and he sighs lustfully; "I love the way you put that."

"Thanks. So... don't you wanna know what it is for me?"

"I dunno... can you beat that?"

I purse my lips thoughtfully. "Erm... I'm not sure. I was with this one guy though, just before I met Grant, but anyway, that's beside the point-" I insist, flapping my hand dismissively as I see Dennis' face inevitably darken, just for a moment. "-by this time, I was pretty much as in to sex as you were, I'd try anything once..." I smile flirtily and Dennis sighs.

"See, why didn't I know you fifteen years ago?"

"Because Dennis.... I'd never have shagged a schoolboy."

He runs his tongue around his lips. "Don't knock it til you've tried it."

I tilt my head and whisper innocently; "I thought I already had..." But a second later, I'm giggling and flapping again. "Stop it! You're distracting me! Anyway... Lee..."

"Who?"

I roll my eyes. "This guy I'd try anything with?"

"Ah. I'm with ya."

"Well, he had this life-long ambition that he was gonna get through every position in the Kama Sutra..."

And as Dennis clocks my look of seriousness, his eyes widen in amazement. "And how many did you get through?"

I grin, running the tip of my tongue cheekily across my teeth. "I guess you'll never know..."

16. Dennis

Oh my God. It's official. I'm sleeping with the most incredible woman in existence and yet it seems like I never truly knew it. My eyes have been well and truly opened by this whole conversation. Who'd have thought that self-confessed sex-shy Sharon would be the one educating me? I really thought there was nothing I hadn't done. I've slept with more women that I dare to remember and hello, waltzer? But it's apparantly all in the technique and this Lee guy was determined to have it.

"How many Sharon?"

She giggles, pressing involuntarily into my hand as she stares down at the tablecloth. "I don't know... ten... twelve."

I'm dreaming right? Please, someone, pinch me. Stop being so damn cruel.

"Dennis, will you stop it? You're making me nervous!"

Yeah? Well, I think you might just have made my night darlin'. My week. My life.

I raise my hands in defeat, smiling as I settle back in my chair. "Alright, alright, don't get your knickers in a twist!"

In that split second, her eyes are locked on mine, wide and shimmering as she gasps softly, shakily taking up her wine glass and raising it to her lips.

"What?"

Cautiously, she swallows down her mouthful of wine and murmurs; "I knew I'd forgotten something."

I splutter dangerously on my latest mouthful of vodka, only just managing to swallow it down without choking. "Excuse me?"

"It's all you y'know!" Sharon tells me, rolling her eyes and flicking her wrist dismissively. "Pissing off and leaving me to get into a state when I got changed. Then you just... showed up and it... totally slipped my mind."

Oh God... the way she's fluttering her eyelashes so damn slowly, she looks so painfully innocent and I want her so badly. Any one of these twelve ways she likes. Or all twelve - I do have three weeks. But she's gonna make me wait, cos she knows she can. She scrapes her chair back, pushing against the edge of the table and getting up.

"Right, just need to go... uh... powder my nose."

Yeah, right. No-one really does that. She just wants an excuse to get up and walk away, knowing I'll be watching when she looks that good, when I know what I do now. And somehow she looks even more amazing. Because her dress is so short, the lapping folds barely resting at the top of her thigh. And in those shoes, her smooth and already bronzed legs look so long. And I'm dying to touch her, fuck knows how I've actually kept my hands off her. But God, the way her hips are swinging as she walks, it's like she wants to be got and yet... she's actually expecting me to sit here over a meal for God knows how much longer and be civil? No way, no how. Absolutely nothing civil in what I need to do to her. 

As she comes back, she smiles sexily, tucking her hair behind her ear. I just watch her, slumped back, mouth agape in wonderment.

"What's the matter darlin'?" she questions silkily as she pulls her chair in and gazes at my motionless plate. "Not hungry?"

I give her a piercing look, drowning perfectly in her eyes as I shake my head. "Nope."

"Too drunk?" she continues sympathetically, cocking her head to the side and giving me that innocent look again.

I take the very first escape route, clinging to it. "Gone right to my head..."

"Oh... d'you need to get some fresh air?"

Oh God... the look in her eyes...

I don't need words to answer her, I just force my chair back and stand up, pulling a roll of bills from my back pocket and tossing them onto the table. Sharon smirks as she registers them and moves round the edge, reaching to catch my shirt in her hands and pull me towards her, forcing her mouth hard onto mine and kissing me.

"My poor darlin'."

"I'll be OK in a minute..."

"I guess we'll see..." And she turns around, catching my hand and holding it in her own fiercely as she leads me through the tables and out onto the dark and yet surprisingly warm street. 

She pulls in a content-sounding breath and spends time working her fingers tightly through mine as she holds my hand. Then she smiles, her shimmering lips really curved into the truest smile, like she's almost embarrassed. Sexy as fuck and cute as hell all at the same time... oh my God.

Without words passing between us as we begin to aimlessly walk, Sharon giggles. "I knew you wouldn't be able to do it, Dennis."

"Do what?"

"Anything. Not once you knew. Your face was incredible, I wish you coulda seen it!"

"I swear, you're trying to kill me!"

Sharon just raises her eyebrow as she smirks, as if to say "So what?"

"I don't wanna kill you, baby, I promise. Hell of a lot of things I do wanna do to you, but that's not one of them."

"Oh yeah? So what is?"

She runs her tongue across her bottom lip, pushing her weight through the heel of her shoe as it clicks against the floor and she turns to face me, sweeping up my free hard and allowing it to brush her deliciously warm thigh, slipping under the material of her dress.

"What d'you think?"

I think I'm gonna have to move my hand, that I'm gonna have to know all of her as I bow my head to kiss her hungrily, feeling her tongue dart teasingly into my mouth. Her arms wound around my waist, she moves into a backward stride on her heel, pulling me too so that I can force her back against the wall, hidden in the shadows. Not that I care, it's just convenient, that's all. Personally, I don't care who knows that I want her now, I couldn't give a flyin' fuck who sees either. Because this is about her. Everything she's doing to me. Everything she needs to feel in return.

She winds me in against her feverish and willing body by winding her leg around mine and holding me against her by pressing her heel into the back of my knee, making me just that little bit weaker, even as she relies on my support to keep her standing.

My hand still wanders, between her thighs, damp with anticipation and up, my palm drawn to the heat of her sex, my thumb circling momentarily over her engorged clit. She moans right into my mouth, daring to pull back and draw in breath, whispering; "Please..."

And there's something so fuckin' sexy in hearing her plead, so breathless and needy, it's a wonder I don't just come then and there. But I wouldn't. Because I wanna feel her and in wanting as much, thrust into her moments later. She's so wet, so unable to suppress every subtle moan - she's amazing. And right now, she's mine, me with my hand forcing her other leg back against the wall, apart, allowing me the greatest access as we rock against one another. 

And I guess that the brick of the wall is scraping against Sharon's bare back as she bucks and occassionally she winces in pain, but that only heightens the excitement. Cos pain makes for the most unbelievable pleasure, I can hear it in her throaty suppressions. And I can feel it building inside her, I know she wants to cry out. But she daren't. Because she doesn't want to surrender the sensation, she doesn't want it to end. Still she begs, never missing an opportunity to tell me how good it feels, but I can tell in her shallow breaths, the way she bites so desperately down into her lip, her eyes closed, she's close. She can't hold off, her whole body caving in to her orgasm, my own erupting as she drives her nails into my shoulders, perhaps fearing for her stability, begging me not to stop.

But she knows I have no choice and quickly forgives me, sighing in satisfaction as her mouth covers mine and I guide her foot back down to the floor.

"Traivikrama." she whispers.

"What?"

"Otherwise known as The Stride. And I always wondered about it. Guess I don't have to anymore..."

17. Sharon

I awake blissfully in my bed. Perfectly warm as the sun pours in. Perfectly naked. Contently, I roll over to my side - and find that I'm also perfectly alone. Awakened further by a jolt of panic, I pull myself up to the height of my elbow and search the room for Dennis. My dress is in an abandoned pool on the floor and it should definitely have been covered by all of Dennis' clothes too. But they're gone. So's he. This isn't right, why isn't he here? Self-consciously, I pull the covers up around myself, my body not feeling quite so warm and satisfied anymore. Something's wrong and I don't know what.

Dragging my hands through my hair, I pull myself reluctantly from the bed, wrapping a bathrobe from the bathroom around my body. I pad back to the bedroom, sighing miserably as I stoop to collect my dress, tossing it carelessly into the back of wardrobe without even bothering to hang it up. What's the point? I dress quickly, pulling on some denim shorts and purple vest top. Grabbing my make-up bag, I go back to the bathroom and begin re-applying the faithful mask. The good thing about being out in the sun is that you can be minimal. I couldn't dare back in Walford... I'd look half-dead!

I brush carefully through my hair, somehow looking lighter this morning. I collect it all up in my hands, lifting it to the back of my head in a twist, securing it in a bulldog clip, the ends spilling out over the top. I'm being lazy this morning, just needing to get my hair off my neck in this heat - and to find Dennis as soon as I can. I want to know what's going on.

I chuck my silver kitten heels on the floor with a clatter, sliding my feet into them and rushing from the room and going straight down the corridor towards the lifts. Dennis' room is on the next floor, and I know it's damn early - I wouldn't have woken up for another couple of hours had he still been lying beside me, so I somehow doubt he's surfaced yet. But I just don't understand... why is he skulking back to his room like... like he has something to be ashamed of?

I knock on the door almost before I'm even in front of it. Nothing. But then, that'd be because the door's locked. He's not in there. So where the hell is he? Oh God, too many crazy thoughts, calm down Sharon, just calm the hell down.

Taking a deep breath, I step back out of the lift at the ground floor and head to the concierge desk. The tall guy I had to flirt with yesterday to get our cases moved sees me coming and steps forward smiling. Anxiously, I tuck strands of my hair behind my ear.

"Hiya." I murmur.

"Good morning Miss Watts. How can I help?"

"I told you, it's Sharon. I'm on holiday, I don't answer to Miss Watts!"

He smiles again. "OK, fine. How can I help, Sharon?"

"This makes me sound even more blonde than I look, but I seem to have lost my travelling companions..."

"Then allow me to find them. Mr Rickman and Miss Fowler just ordered breakfast out by the pool... that is... the first."

Never gonna miss an opportunity to big up the fact they've actually got five pools in this place then.

"Oh right, well thanks, Enrique, I'll go out and join them..."

"Would you like to order breakfast too?" he calls as I begin to walk away. 

I shrink back obediently, leaning against the desk. "Yeah, go on then, why not? Fruit salad and some orange juice please."

He picks up the phone and stabs at the keys. "Consider it done."

I smile again and back away, turning to face the way I'm going after just a few paces. The strength of the sunlight hurts my eyes as I head outside towards the pool, scanning the area for my sister and more importantly, Dennis. On my third circuit, moving around the edge of the pool, I recognise them. I have to fight not to rush over and demand to know what I've done wrong. But if I did, that would mean having to admit I've been sleeping with Dennis and I know perfectly well that my sister will see something wrong in that.

Maybe Dennis is getting cold feet?

Not wanting to have this suspicion confirmed any sooner than I have to, I walk slowly over to them.

"Sharon!" Vicki calls.

"Alright darlin'?" I smile, pressing gently into her shoulder as I move around her chair and settle myself in the vacant one between them both.

Dennis somehow manages to seem so damn blasé as he sips at his coffee. "Mornin'!"

"Yeah it is. I didn't think you surfaced on this side of one Dennis."

He nods in Vicki's direction. "Well, someone dragged me up didn't they?"

Vicki grins proudly. "Well, I wanted all the gossip didn't I?"

"Gossip?" I question.

"Yeah! I don't know what you got up to last night Sharon, but our brother here pulled!"

My stomach lurches. I'm confused, I'm scared. Dennis spent last night with me, I'm certain of that much, even if I don't know what's become of this morning. 

"How- How would you know that?"

"Because I went to his room-"

"At seven in the pissin' morning, Vicks, what were you thinking?"

"-and he wasn't there... bed hadn't even been slept in!" She shoots him a bemused look, playfully hitting his arm. "Dirty little stop-out. Course, I didn't think he'd still be with her, did I?"

"What?"

"Yeah-" Dennis begins anxiously, his gaze finally secure upon mine. I sincerely hope Vicki doesn't understand the way he's guitily thinning his lips as he looks at me. "-smartass over here thinks it's a good idea to call me, demand to know where the hell I am... had to get out of there pretty sharpish."

So that's my explanation is it? That's all I get?

"Didn't wanna wake her up, bless him. But God, I wish she had. I woulda pretended to be your wife or something..."

"Oh, Vicki, don't be so stupid!" I snap tersely, without even realising I've done it.

She flinches in surprise, stunned. "Alright... I was only joking..."

"Well you shouldn't joke about things like that. You should show some bloody respect; he's your brother for God's sake!"

"Jesus, Sharon, what's up with you?" She pushes herself up, rolling her eyes. "It woulda been a joke, pretending. It's not real!" Then she turns to Dennis and mutters; "Whoever she was Dennis, I hope she was worth all this!" She sighs despairingly, glaring pointedly at me before storming off.

I'm halfway up to follow her, calling her name. "Vicki! Darlin' please!"

But she's gone and I sink back down in defeat, drumming my fingertips testily across my lip as I sigh. And then I realise, as still as anything, Dennis' eyes are upon me. He's looking at me like I've lost it.

"What?" I demand.

His features soften a little and he leans forward across the table. "You tell me. What's gotten into you today?"

"You weren't there... this morning. I thought... I dunno... that you'd done a runner."

"I had!" he laughs gently. "Look Sharon, Vicki called and what was I supposed to say? "Oh yeah sis, I ain't in my room cos I've been in Sharon's all night"?"

"No, of course not, but..."

"But what?"

I look down, mumbling my words at the table as my cheeks flush with shame. "I just... got this horrible feeling that I'd... imagined it all... last night-"

Dennis smirks readily, his hands edging across the table to catch and play with him. "Well if you did, you've got a bloody good imagination..."

I smile in spite of myself, affectionately stroking his fingers before I lock mine through. "I'm scared, Dennis."

"Go on..."

I glance at him frightfully, but he just squeezes my hand, encouraging me. But still the words hurt, even as they sit ready in my throat. I turn my head and look in the direction by which Vicki left us. "Vicki... saying... it's not real-"

"She doesn't know how it really is though, does she? She don't know what's she's talking about."

"But what if she does? What if this is just pretending?"

18. Dennis

Wow. This didn't take her long did it? Trying to pretend like her words don't hurt, I bite thoughtfully into my lip, pressing harder into her hand.

"Is that what you think this is?" I ask her steadily, looking her right in the eye and trying to ignore the way my stomach writhes at such a connection, the fear I can read in her face.

"No." she says softly, shaking her head. "I know it's not. Not yet."

"What?"

She braves a smile in the face of my confusion, stroking down the back of my hand. "We're fine out here darlin'. S'long as we can get away from Vicki long enough. these three weeks are gonna be amazing... perfect. I know that. But what happens when it's done, when we go home? Do we just... forget it?"

"D'you want to?"

"No."

"Well, there you go then." I tell her simply. But again, Sharon shakes her head.

"It doesn't work like that Dennis. Vicki... Dad, they're not gonna be happy for us y'know..."

"What, you think I want their approval? Cos I don't."

And her smile; it's weak, forced. She don't believe me, cocks her head questioningly. "Don't ya? C'mon Dennis, I know Dad's opinion matters to you, even if you don't wanna show it..."

I look guiltily down, trying to find my resolve once again. "I want you, Sharon. He ain't making me give up."

"And I don't want you to. But when good things happen to me darlin', they go wrong. Always."

"Hey!" I say soothingly, scooting closer to her as I hold onto her hands. "Will you stop this? We'll be OK."

"I don't know..." she whimpers.

"Well I do."

And her smile this time, curves her lips sincerely, like she's thankful for my faith. I'm not about to let hers ebb away too.

"This is so unfair."

"What is?"

"I need to kiss you. And I can't. I feel horrible saying this but... I wish Vicki wasn't here. I mean, I love her and everything but... I need you, don't I? I don't wanna hide away, but then I guess there's just some things you don't, uh... do in public-"

I can't help but laugh. "You mean like us last night?"

Her smile is all of a sudden a definite smirk, the lustful recollection alive in her mesmerising eyes. "Something like that..."

"Oh right. Got a variation you wanna try then?"

"Down boy, I've got things to do."

"Like what?"

"Well...." she muses flirtatiously, leaning forward and teasing my coffee away from my reach as she dislodges our hands and raises the cup to her lips, so neglected of my kisses. "...I was in such a panic earlier, wanting to know where you'd gone, leaving me so pathetically lonely in that huge bed, I didn't even bother to get in the shower before I got dressed..."

"Right." I nod, smiling. "And do you need any help with that?"

"What's that's darlin'?"

"Getting dressed."

"I'm getting in the shower, Dennis. I'll be getting undressed first."

"Oh yeah." I say innocently. "I hadn't thought of that..."

"Course you hadn't." she returns with a sympathetic pout.

"Still..." I press, clicking my tongue in the side of my mouth and dropping my hand from sight under the table, sweeping it up her smooth and sun-kissed thigh. "I'm sure I can help you out there too."

She bows her head, reaching under and clasping her hand around mine. "D'you ever stop?"

I grin. "No. You beg me not to..."

"Dennis!"

"What?"

She rolls her eyes. "What's it gonna take to shut you up eh?" 

I smirk tellingly. She knows the answer to that. She shakes her head in humoured despair but still leans forward with a smile, kissing my cheek innocently and whispering in my ear;

"Fine. But I don't think you're gonna like my shower gel..."

19. Sharon

As we walk back through the hotel, Dennis oh-so-innocently keeps his gaze fixed on the carpet. But if anyone that passes us cared to really look into his face, they'd see the satisfied smirk. Maybe it's not good for me to give into him like this. Or maybe... maybe I just have to. I keep walking steadily, needing the distraction, otherwise I'm gonna move closer and grab his hand and we both know there's nothing innocent in that. As we step into the lift however, Dennis is ready to throw caution to the wind and well, what am I? Besides powerless to stop him?

His hands poised on my shoulders, he leads me into the corner by pressing his body into mine and... oh God... 

His eyes are darting over my face, alive with the hunger and anticipation I know I'm throwing back by just touching him. He bows his head, his insistent lips crashing over mine. Casing his jaw with feverish hands, I pull him closer, sucking teasingly on his bottom lip until they both impart and I can slide my tongue into his mouth.

I suppose we were lucky to go two floors without interruption, but we are forced to spring regretfully apart at the announcing chime of stopping at the third floor. I bite hard into my lip, fighting the urge to giggle. Dennis... he looks totally innocent, even managing to smile politely at the two burly looking men in really dodgy flip-flops. Don't laugh Sharon, don't....

We've crept up to the fourth floor as Dennis stands beside me, working his arm around my waist and reaching down to go for a grope.

"Dennis...." I say warningly through the side of my mouth. He doesn't even look at me. So I just keep looking at the floor, at the God awful flip-flops. By the time we've reached the sixth floor, I am just about ready to die, reaching behind  for Dennis' hand and locking my fingers through before I go forward, pushing past these two guys.

"I'm so sorry..." I whimper, covering my mouth with my other hand as I start to shamelessly giggle, walking faster and faster down the corridor towards my room. "What the hell did they look like?"

"I dunno. D'you reckon they're here... together?"

"Probably!" I nod, laughing harder as I pull my key-card from my pocket, practically falling over myself as I move into the room, whirling round and winding my arms around Dennis' neck. "Now you... c'mere..." And he grins as I stretch up to kiss his mouth hard. "Mmmm!" I murmur, appreciative of his taste. "Now remind me, what am I doing up here?"

"Mmmm, funny!" he muses, still kissing me as he leads me towards the bathroom. I giggle as I feel my back come into contact with tiles on the wall and reluctantly disentangle myself from Dennis, leaning in and starting up the shower. I kick off my shoes, sending them clattering across the floor.

I smile thoughtfully at him as I press my hands into his chest, toying with his t-shirt. "We're gonna have to do something about this y'know..."

"Exactly what I was thinking..."

"Of course... if you just want a shower, you can get rid of your own clothes..."

"Shut up." he advises, popping the button on my shorts and encouraging me to twist my hips in a circuit so they'll loosen and fall from around me. I smile as I step out of them, my hands already working skillfully on his fly. 

Soon, there's a whole heap of mixed up and hastily discarded clothes all over the floor. And as I bruise his mouth, ready for every second of these oncoming sensations, I tease; "Towels..."

He just laughs, right there against my mouth. "Think you're gonna need 'em do you?"

Why should I bother to answer? He knows what I need. Well, actually, I need a shower, but I'm more than willing to settle, the downpour of water burning so deliciously into my feverish skin. Dennis nuzzles at the slope of my neck and I definitely appreciate the attention, feeling the stirrings of excitement beginning to build in my groin. I let my hand dance listlessly through his dampened hair.

"Kinda need you darlin'..."

He lifts his head, grinning as he strokes drenched strands back from my face. My arms tight around his neck, I challenge him with a look and he takes it immediately, lifting me up against the tiles away from the shower-head. His hands cup my heels as I instinctively lock my legs around his hips, whimpering with need as his thumb moves across and caresses that stupidly sensitive spot on my ankle. I bit into my lip, harder as he enters me, but with the rhythm of his thrust and my needy counter, it's not long before I can't help but gasp breathlessly, amazed at everything he can make me feel. 

I force my mouth onto his, our tongues creating the kind of resistance our bodies cannot as we make love.

And still the water cascades over us, by now joined in the kind of pleasures I have never known. Despite the warmth of the water, it's almost cool upon our bodies, alive with a fierce heat. 

So much, so often, I want to tell him how good he feels, in any way he needs me to to believe it. But as he robs me of breath, he takes too my opportunity. Because I'm aching, so very nearly begging for my release. Because with this kind of rhythm, we both know Dennis is the one with the control. And he leads me to the brink, again and again. But he is cruel and relentless. He holds me back, he won't let me over the edge. Because he's holding me safe in this sensual haze. I cling to him, my lips pressed to his shoulder as I try not to cry out.

But then, with his ragged and obvious breaths, he kisses just below my ear and whispers; "I love you..."

And that's it. My next breath is so sharp in my chest with the surprise that I've got no chance; everything Dennis has put me through, over and over tearing through me as my body surrenders. To him. Just him.

20.

We lay out the towels we wrapped momentarily around ourselves onto the bed and curled up together beneath the covers. The sun's burning outside and I deliberately went and opened the doors to the balcony so that we might enjoy the warmth of it, but let's be honest, we're creating enough of it ourselves and innocently enough too. Cos his arms are around me, my wrecked body molded perfectly around his, and I'm looking at him, amazed by him, without knowing why whilst knowing all at once that it's everything.

I turn onto my hip, nestling further into him, loving the warmth of his body on my skin. And Dennis smiles, scooching further into the pillow as he reaches over to tenderly brush hair back from my face. "You OK?"

I catch his fingertips and hold them fiercely in my hand, bowing my head and kissing his knuckle. "I want to stay here forever."

"We could get away with that, I guess..."

I shake my head slowly. "But we couldn't. Cos thanks to someone, I still need to get back in the shower and wash my hair..."

"Ah right." he says, nodding thoughtfully. But the bastard's fibbing because there's such an obvious smirk curving his lips. "Do you need any help scrubbing your back?"

I hit him playfully on the chest with the back of my hand. "No."

"OK. Do you want any help scrubbing your back?"

I can't help but giggle, lovingly kissing his shoulder. "You're bloody determined to distract me for the whole of this holiday aren't you?"

"Isn't that what I'm here for?"

I just lie there, gazing at him, captivated by him. I raise one fingertip and press my kiss to his soft lips, smiling. "You're beautiful, you know that?"

"Nah. It's you that's beautiful, I'm just a fluke."

"Yeah? Well, you're a bloody gorgeous one."

He feigns a dramatic sigh. "Glad someone appreciates me."

I murmur incoherently as I begin to nuzzle at his neck. "Maybe I just want you for your body darlin', hmmm?"

"Ahhh, truth's coming out now then innit?"

"Hmmm-mmm. I'm no different to the hundred women you've already slept with, except... you know my name!"

He splutters indignantly. "How many?"

"Well I dunno." I giggle, hunching my shoulders. "I'm only one of them! And let's face it, Dennis, you are a total man-whore..."

Gasping, Dennis deliberately wriggles right to the other side of the bed, sulkily scooching into the pillow. I force a sympathetic pout.

"Awww baby, how many was I wrong by huh? 'Nother fifty... a hundred?"

"I'm so not talking to you anymore."

"Oh shut up being such a baby, you're supposed to be able to tell me this stuff..."

"Oh right, yeah!" he scoffs, rolling his eyes.

"Dennis..." I whisper softly as I begin to wriggle closer beneath the covers, unable to stop myself smirking as my hands precede me.

"If you start touching me up..."

Of course, not wanting to get on the wrong side of my darlin' after such a... memorable morning, I instead let my hand sweep up his thigh and across his hip as I snuggle down against him. "Why d'you have to be so defensive darlin', it's just me. I can take it."

"I know, but maybe there's just nothing to tell. I don't know how many women I've slept with Sharon and that's exactly why. Cos all I ever did was sleep with 'em, means fuck all."

"Oh..." I muse, kissing along his jaw line. "...I wouldn't exactly say that..."

"Well yeah, look at you... proving my bloody point!"

"Eh?"

"I could have gone through the all the women in London-"

"You probably have." I tell him sweetly, giggling and pretending to hide away as he shoots me a warning look.

"-and I've still never started leafing through the soddin' Kama Sutra!"

"Oh but darlin', Lee needed the help... you definitely don't!"

Dennis lets me kiss his mouth, but as he moves back, smirks and, as he caresses my cheek with the pad of his thumb, declares; "You're just saying that cos you know that if I got up and left now, that concierge from downstairs would be all over you like a rash-"

"Oh yeah!" I agree with a nod. "Definitely. I mean, it's got nothing to do with all the sneaking around I've been doing so I can fuck you has it Dennis?"

He narrows his shimmering eyes in disblief. "What?"

I chew my lip thoughtfully and make quote marks in the air with my fingers as I correct myself. "Sorry. "Make love"." But I start to giggle helplessly. "Come off it, we were doing it in the street last night, we ain't got there have we?"

Looking hugely amused, twisting the ends of a few strands of my hair casually around his finger, Dennis shakes his head. "Not yet. You're getting in the shower.."  

21. Dennis

Pulling my t-shirt over my head and oh-so-casually yanking up the fly of my jeans, I look across to Sharon, sat on the bed in a fluffy bathrobe, legs crossed teasingly over one another as she towels at her hair. As I catch her eye, she smirks.

"You carry on like this Dennis, you're gonna be bored of me by the weekend."

My eyes widen in surprise. I was unbelievably patient and she knows it! I stayed in bed, all on my own, counting away the minutes, fifteen I decided, til I'd get up and... see if she fancied my company. Nothing wrong in that right? Except I got to nine-and-a-half minutes and felt like I was dying with the anticipation. It really don't take much to admit how much I want Sharon. So all she got was ten. But thankfully, she'd washed her hair already. Something about... expecting me?

"Bored? Of you? C'mon Sharon, how's that ever gonna happen?"

She bites into her lip as I press my knee into the bed sinking down next to her. "I'm not falling for it Dennis."

"For what?" I laugh innocently.

"Stupid questions like that! How means you want an explanation and that means you'll get bored even quicker, so it's not happening!"

"Seriously, I don't understand you at all."

"Part of my charm darlin'!"

"Charm?" I cough indignantly. "That's what you're calling it now is it?"

Turning her head, Sharon looks at me expectantly. "What would you call it?" But in the next moment, she laughs softly, pressing her fingertip to my lips, advising; "Don't answer that."

"What, not even allowed to talk to you now?"

"And why would you wanna do that?" she muses, pressing my mouth briefly.

I have to admit, she has a fair point. I mean, she's leant back on her arms, having tossed the towel away to the floor, covered only by the bathrobe. And let's be honest, both ends of the tie are within ridiculously easy reach. How hard's it gonna be to loosen it and push her back onto the bed?

"Well-" I return, clearing my throat as I force myself to drop my gaze and maybe, just maybe, think some new thoughts. "-it's kinda rude not to right?"

Sharon giggles. "Get you, proper gentleman now aren't ya? Bet it'd make Carley's day to know it eh?"

I just stare at her and she accepts it with another smirk.

"Maybe not. Still any time, any place kinda guy right?"

"Well, doesn't that really depend on you?"

"Oh darlin', you're gonna have to learn t'pace yourself y'know... how am I meant to explain your sudden exhaustion to a Spanish doctor eh?"

"Exhaustion?" I blink, hurt and yet impressed by the idea all at once. "That'll take some doing Sharon, this is me you're talking to..."

"Oooh, listen to him!" Giggling again, she pulls herself up to the height of her knees, sinking back against the bed as she leans towards me, her hands casing my jaw as she forces her mouth on mine, kissing me fiercely. I draw her closer, and laughing softly against the invitation of my lips as my hands wander across her incredible body, she straddles my lap, bearing teasingly down into my groin as I hold her there. And it's only as I moan appreciatively into her kiss that she breaks off.

And she just stares at me for a couple of seconds, rocking a little as she winds her arms around my neck.

"I love you y'know."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. And I thought... I should say it now... just in case I haven't before."

I'm grinning like a loon. I can feel it. Because she's so damn cute - I adore her. "That's sweet baby." I tell her, kissing her again. "But you're OK, because you have..."

"I have?"

I nod. "On the plane."

"Ahhh, just before one of our finest moments eh?"

I bow my head, laughing. "You could definitely say that..."

"I like how you said it earlier..."

"Eh?"

"In the shower. After another of our finest moments."

I smirk, enjoying letting my hands trad an amorous path up the inside of her thigh as she sits comfortably against me. "Well I meant it... a little bit more..."

"Mmmm, I think I get it now..." she murmurs silkily, pulling my hands up into hers and toying with my fingers. "...this is just a sexual thing isn't it?"

"No! No way! C'mon Sharon, this is new on me..."

"What?" But I give her a questioning look and she bites into her lip thoughtfully, after a few seconds gasping; "Oh! You mean the "love" stuff."

I nod. "Like I say, new on me."

"Is it Hell!" she scoffs rolling her eyes. "You'd have had women falling in love with you every weekend mate."

"Maybe." I say, lifting my head to look up into her beautiful face, alive with amusement. "But I never stuck around to find out did I? It was never worth it before...."

"But it is now?"

And somehow, she looks frightful, like she might be putting words in my mouth, pressurising me. But it ain't like that. And I can make her realise it, stroking strands of her hair behind her ear, nodding slowly before moving in to kiss her.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is. Definitely."

22. Sharon

And yet, somehow (don't ask how cos I really don't know!) it was at that admission that I found strength to, erm... not become embroiled in hours of me and Dennis, together in this one perfectly warm bed. No, instead I got dressed, although of course, Dennis didn't dare move during this spectacle, lazily settling himself back on the bed and giggling, yes, giggling to himself. Creep.

Brushing my hair before sweeping it up from my neck and securing it in the clip again, I smirk as I turn away from the mirror, sinking down on the bed. "Someone's not gonna be getting any..."

Oh, the indignance. It's sweet, the way his eyes bulge in protest. But then, he laughs, pulling himself up from the bed, murmuring; "Shut up!" Then he gives me his hand, which means he pulls me up to, not willing to give any thought to my threat. Probably wise. I'm not gonna be carrying it out after this torture, and he knows that that, and possibly the guilt are the only things making me drag us from the confines of the one room to go and enjoy lunch with Vicki. Hopefully, we'll do better than I made it be at breakfast eh?

Still, knowing that he's gonna have to let go of my hand and maybe even act relatively normal for a couple of hours, Dennis makes sure the ride down in the lift is... memorable. Seriously, I never knew one pair of hands could get so far in so little time. Man with a mission is my darlin'.

But still, uniterrupted for the whole way down, he manages to walk out onto the ground floor like he hasn't got a care in the world. In fact, even I'd doubt he was mine if I didn't know different, he seems so nonchalant. So I lift my head proudly and move out past the concierge desk, deliberately flashing Enrique a smile.

I nod towards his computer as I fold my arms and lean across the desk. "C'mon then, master of the keys... where's one gonna find my sister at this time?"

He grins as he bows his head and taps obediently at the keys. "Miss Fowler has just ordered a light lunch out by the... oh look at that-" He glances pointedly at me, his lips curving into a smirk. "-the pool."

Reading his amusement, I roll my eyes and push back on my arms, ready to walk off.

"I won't ask if you're ordering!" he calls after me, concealing a laugh. "Seeing as your breakfast never reached you!"

I slow up as realisation dawns. I catch Dennis' eye as he stands watching the whole scene by the side doors and though his expression remains unchanged, his eyes glimmer a little more mischievously, which means he definitely follows my train of thought. I mean, whose fault is it that I never found the time to touch breakfast?

I turn slowly round and smile at Enrique again. "Make it up again. I could definitely use it!"

He nods and I turn my back, striding out through the side doors, only pausing so that Dennis may join my step. He does so willingly, leaning in a little way and murmuring; "Don't even think about it!"

I give him an innocent look. "What's that baby?"

"Oh shut up, you know what! Letting the loser behind the desk think he's in there!"

"Well, he might be. I mean, what do you know?"

Dennis snorts. "I know that you haven't had time for him an' all, and I kinda like it that way!"

"I know you do, you dirty bastard. It's a shame really, you look fuckin' gorgeous when you get jealous!"

"Jealous of that? Oh God, credit me please."

I don't say anything, just nudge him with my hip as I step in front of him and walk round to where Vicki is sat a few tables down from where we were this morning, already sipping on a cocktail.

"Hey darlin'." I smile, pulling the chair out and leaning in to kiss her cheek as I sit down.

"Hey. Sorry, I started without you, drink?"

"Mine's on the way..."

"Oh..." So she turns expectantly to Dennis, who sits on my other side, opposite Vicki. He just shrugs and then in the next moment is reaching over and swiping Vicki's drink away, sipping at the drink through the straw and then spluttering, before he's even registered the astounded way Vicki's looking at him.

"Ugh!" he coughs. "What the hell are you calling that, sis?"

"Mine!" she says sternly, making me giggle as she steals it back with a withering look.

"That is lethal."

"Awww..." Vicki mocks, sipping contently without effect. "...can't you handle a little drinkie Dennis?"

"Shut it, or you'll be going headfirst into the pool..."

I snap my head round, glaring at him. "If you so much as tried to do that to me, d'you know what'd happen?"

Dennis laughs gently and as he returns "I reckon I have a fair idea-", his hand is travelling across my thigh to grope for mine. He feels me flinch in unease, but smiles softly, his thumb stroking reassuringly across my knuckles. I relax then, let him hold on. It's not like Vicki can, or would care to, see. So maybe we're safe.

The three of us chat easily for a while, but are distracted as some poolboy leans over my shoulder, delivering my tall glass of orange juice and fruit salad, covered in the most delicious smelling syrups. 

"Miss Watts..."

"Uh... thanks..." I smile, accepting the fork. He moves off and it's then I really catch Vicki's eye for the first time. "Darlin', look-" I begin awkwardly, leaving the fork resting against the edge of the bowl as I drop my hand over hers. "-I'm sorry... about what I said earlier... about-" My gaze slides tellingly to Dennis, who seems to hold my hand a little more fiercely beneath the cover of the table. "-I was out of order."

"Nah." Vicki shakes her head gently. "It's OK. I know the stuff I said... was really dumb. So I'm sorry... both of you."

"You ain't got anything to be sorry for.." Dennis tells her.

"I bet your girl from last night wouldn't think so."

I laugh nervously. But Vicki doesn't pick up on the tone of it and starts laughing too, like she's at last relaxed. She leans back, sweeping up her drink and declaring; "Besides, we're on holiday, we're meant to be enjoying ourselves!"

And it feels as though Dennis at least, is. His hand's not within mine anymore, and I want to look under the table, but if I do that, I may as well announce this whole thing to Vicki right now. So I'm sat there, rigid whilst trying to appear relaxed, going on what I feel.

His hand's on the move. Up the inside of my thigh... higher... higher still and oh my GOD!

23. Dennis

Sharon flinches. She's gone totally rigid. You'd think I'd just forced a loaded syringe into her thigh. I can feel the aftershock going right through her and I ain't ashamed to admit that I like the way it feels. Cos Sharon's problem right now is, there's nothing she can do. The way she lurched against her chair, I thought she was about to reach under the table and tear my hand back, but if she did that, I have no doubt she'd end up lifting the table and Vicki, well, she ain't that oblivious bless her.

So Sharon claws back her lip. All I get is one dangerous look and then she has to look away. That's fine by me, cute even. I like having, shall we say... an effect on her. Besides, I can't help needing to touch her. I'm just one guy, with a tiny, tiny mind. Well worked fingers though. Cos as innocent as she trying to appear, miraculously silent, she's becoming wetter and wetter against my fingertips, trying so hard to stay still and somehow only managing to wriggle to encourage my touch.

She's covering her mouth to suppress the urge to moan or whimper as my teasing circles against her clit become more vigorous. Then, she can't hold it in, whimpering even as she bites into her thumb.

"Sharon, you alright?" Vicki enquires at once, brow furrowed in concern.

"Mmmm-" Sharon answers distractedly.

"S'just... you look really flushed... Dennis, tell her."

I can't help but laugh. I press my hand into Sharon's drenched thigh and twist in my chair, sitting against my hip. "Looks fine to me."

Well, she does, apart from the downright evil look that comes my way, which has to be thanks to my motionless hand. God, I love this woman.

Vicki isn't settled however and pushes herself up. "I'm gonna go grab you some water, OK?"

Sharon watches her go, pulling in deep breaths through pursed lips as her eyes lock on mine. "I hate you..." she assures me breathlessly.

I just smile, reaching over and stroking her fringe from her eyes. "You do?"

She tries to nod, but ends up gasping in surprise as I happily return to my previous occupation.

"How could you-"

"Well, I seem to remember you saying it was all in my hands. And I always was rubbish at keeping them to myself..."

"-in front of Vicki?"

"Vicki's not here anymore...."

"Stop. Please."

Ouch. Way to wound me.

She drops her hand forcefully over the heat of mine. Her mouth quivers in regret as she draws me away. "Tell Vicki I went to lie down..."

"OK..." I say slowly, undeniably confused as Sharon fights to regain her composure. I love that I stole it away. Makes us one-all after the topless sunbathing incident on the balcony yesterday don't it?

"I want your room key..."

I smirk, without really knowing why as I withdraw my key card dutifully from my pocket and press it into her feverish palm. "How come?"

She rolls her eyes, apparantly not about to humour me. Her mind is.... otherwise occupied. "She's not about to come looking for me in your room is she? Or maybe she is after that little stunt, but whatever. She comes back, you tell her. You've got ten minutes.... love you."

24.

How does something that starts out so perfect go so wrong? Vicki came back, glass of water in hand. Wasn't sure whether I was smirking or not, but I wasn't interested in being sure. Sharon's, uh... waiting in my room. I just wanted to get out of there. All I had to do was deliver the one line, get up and go. Right?

"Where's she gone, Dennis? Where's Sharon?"

"Oh, um... she went to lie down."

And before I even knew what was happening, too busy cursing myself at how damn unconvincing I sounded, Vicki turns round. I almost got up, to follow her, to protest as she said "I'll take this up to her then!" but I realised quickly enough there was no point, unless I wanted to drop myself right in it. So I sat, somehow thinking it wise to take up Vicki's foul tasting cocktail for my own, looking nervously to my watch and counting away the minutes. After all, Sharon had me on a curfew, and I didn't wanna let her down, did I?

Except, Vicki came back, looking pretty worried as she delivered the obvious. "She's not there!"

"Vicks, calm down, she's probably just gone for a walk or something..."

"Well, where? Dennis, she's not well!"

I have to bite my lip. Cos I know she's absolutely fine.

But God, if I could just tell her the truth, it would save me the agony of Vicki literally dragging me across town looking for Sharon. It's so painfully stupid, cos I know exactly where she is. But I have to keep up the pretences and it's killing me. Sharon's waiting.

I swear, it feels like we've walked miles across the beaches, past all the restuarants and the tourist. I can feel myself start to burn beneath the heat of the sun and I don't burn, do I? How bloody long have we been out here?

Vicki's damn reluctant to turn back. "C'mon Vicks, please!"

She scowls. "Don't you care or summat?"

No, not really. I know she's fine.

"What? Shut up, of couse I do! But Sharon's not stupid, she'll be fine OK? We don't have to be on her tail all the time do we?"

She hunches her shoulders, not all that ready to believe me, even though I can tell in her facial expression she realises she must. "No, I suppose not."

"No." I confirm smartly. "This is a holiday, Vicki. You do it your way, Sharon will do it hers."

With me.

"Hmmm..."

"So... go call... what's his name?"

Her eyes light up at the opportunity to talk about the guy, and I'm pretty much assured I've almost done it.

"Rob."

I knew that, but nice going Vicki.

"I could, couldn't I?"

"You're not in Walford now sweetheart. Sharon's not about to ground you is she?"

And Vicki grins like a naughty schoolgirl, pulling her phone from the pocket of her short skirt. Her legs are still really pale and Vicki has the skin tone to get a nice tan. So I guess, like the rest of us, she hasn't really seen much sun since we landed. And I'd let that annoy me, if I wasn't so anxious to return to Sharon. I bet she's gonna be proper pissed off with me by now. A lot more to make up to her...

Vicki scrolls eagerly through her phone book and I watch her as she lifts the handset and waits for the call to connect. She half giggles.

"So can I go now?" I ask, gesturing with my thumb to the other end of the beach. Sighing and then declaring; "Rob, hi! Vicki-", she nods, and I'm gone before I hear the next word leave her mouth.

Even running full pelt, it takes me ten minutes to make it back to the hotel. Bloody Vicki, how far did she need to drag me? I take the lift up to my floor, praying as I pull in each painful breath that Sharon remembered to leave the door open. I bet she did remember, but got so pissed off waiting for me, she's locked me out in a huff. I wouldn't blame her really, it's my own stupid fault we've had to lie to Vicki, but bloody hell, I couldn't help it.

Just... owwww! Everything hurts. Every joint, every muscle... and I'm supposed to be used to exertion!

I push weakly against the door and thankfully, it's open! I straighten my back with a wince and move into the room, carefully making sure the door shuts with a click. Safe from the rest of the world at bloody last.

I turn slowly, and feel so much all at once. Indignance, yes, because in this one scene, I feel cheated, but the strongest of all emotions is the rush of love as I edge over to the bed, settling myself against Sharon's form. I can't help but smirk at the tangle of her discarded clothes on the floor. My floor; damn, they look good on my floor. But that said, that adored, I've kept her waiting so long, she's fallen into a bloody angelic looking sleep, stretched out beneath the cool sheets. And she looks beautiful when she sleeps, she really does. I could watch her for hours, but there's the stickler. I don't want to.

I lean carefully over, stroking hair back from her face. It's just an excuse to touch her, but she doesn't stir either and to me, that's not fair. So I let my hand stroke across her smooth, bronzed shoulder, pulling myself a little way further down the bed as my hands travel lightly down, admiring inch of her. I catch her ankle in my hand, pulling her curled foot straight.

I know Sharon's body like I've never bothered to know another. So, if there's any one way to make her stir, oh so innocently, then this is it. I stroke the inside of her ankle gently with my thumb. She murmurs, even sub-consciously not able to stand the tickling sensation against her skin. God, she's perfect. Pushing myself up from the bed, I sink back down onto the mattress upon my knees. I lean forward, letting my hands sneak beneath the layer of the sheet covering her gloriously naked body, gliding up her long and smooth legs, dipping down to caress the inside of each thigh as I move further up, bringing the sheet up too, so as one warmth leaves her, mine covers her.

Sleepily, she lets her eyes flicker open, turning her head expectantly, as the light of the room filters in.

"Hey baby." I smile, unable to stop myself stroking between her legs.

She gasps out a giggle as I lean over her and she pulls me down to meet her willing lips, kissing me fiercely.

"Took your time didn't you?" 

25. Sharon

Murmuring contently, I wriggle over onto my front beneath the covers, giggling as Dennis watches me, still so beautifully cuddled into me, his arms wound around my form like he's never about to let me go.

"Y'know what?" I start, shaking my hair across my shoulder as I settle into this new, warmer and much more comfortable position, my arm rested against Dennis' waist as I hold myself up on the other elbow, smirking at him. "I'm really starting to get deja vu with you..."

He mocks a gasp. "I could so easily be insulted by that."

I shrug nonchalantly. "We can row if you want baby, I don't mind..."

I lay my head down on his chest, loving the sound of such a contented heartbeat going in my ear. He lifts his hand and lightly lets his fingertips stroke over my hair. "Oh yeah?" he questions, note of amusement held most definitely in his tone. "And why's that?"

I giggle again. "Cos we'd only have to make up again..."

"But what if we didn't eh?"

The silence after those words seems to drag on for so long I'm made really uneasy, lifting my head to question him with a glance. "We would, wouldn't we?"

Seeing the fright in my face, Dennis smiles and brushes my lips comfortingly. "I was only joking, course we would. What we gonna do otherwise eh?"

"I dunno." I confess. "That's the bit that was scaring me. Cos I suppose I'd just have to start sleeping with Enrique from downstairs wouldn't I?"

Dennis arches an eyebrow, the way his lips are set making it so damn obvious he wants to start laughing. "What, and you're not up for that?"

"Well, he's cute and whatever, but I was kinda hoping I'd stay... unavailable..." And I stretch up to kiss him again. I love this mouth. It's amazing.

"I'm doing alright then?"

I grin. "More than alright, believe me. Love you."

"Well good! Cos I love you an' all."

I pull the covers up a little further in my fist, covering my mouth as I giggle yet again, feeling myself flush undeniably pink. "More than you did an hour ago?"

Dennis laughs, rolling his eyes as he lies beside me, turned in on his hip, kissing my crown. "So not that shallow."

"Oh really?" I question, with a wide-eyed look. "So you tell me darlin', why are we sleeping together at all eh?"

"What d'you want, a repeat performance?"

"Well, you're not bored of me yet are you?"

He smirks, his hands suddenly deciding on a wander beneath the covers, making my skin burn. "No way." But, his eyes locked on mine for several inquisitive seconds, I feel myself getting pulled further and further into his captivating emerald pools, jolted out of such a sensuous journey only as he declares knowingly; "Ah!"

"What?"

"Sorry darlin', didn't mean to be so slow. Honestly Sharon, if you wanna be told how fuckin' fantastic you are, you only need to say!"

I giggle, colouring further at my apparant obviousness. But somehow, all I can do is relax. "Go on then."

He nods approvingly at my dare, murmuring; "You're amazing."

"You sure?"

"Mmm-hmmm. Positive. Never go back if it's not worth it, and you... are definitely worth it!"

"I should bloody well hope so, or else why have you been holding out for near-on six months huh?"

Dennis groans. "D'you have to remind me?" Restlessly, he lets his head lull to the side, resting against the pillow. And somehow, just by the way he lies against my touch, I can feel his reluctance. I pull myself up, leaning across his chest and pressing my palm against his cheek to draw him back to my gaze. He smiles up at me and I return such a look, stroking along his cheekbone with the pad of my thumb.

"I never meant to hurt you. I need you to know that."

Placing his hand over mine as it lies against his face, he turns his head and kisses my bunched fingertips. "I do know that."

"Do you?" I question doubtfully. "Really?"

"Course! What would I be doing here if I didn't?"

I smirk tellingly, registering the knowing glint in his beautiful eyes before I bow my head, lowering my needy lips down upon his. "I think we both know the answer to that..."

26. Dennis

"Mmmm, where are you going?"

Smiling softly, I fasten my fly and lean back against the bed, lightly pressing Sharon's willing mouth. "Just grabbing a drink, want one?"

Wordlessly, she rolls over and pulls the phone up out of the cradle. "What's room service for?"

I glance at the mini-bar, which I know is definitely still, um... half full. It's not even two foot away for God's sake. "Lazy people, darlin'!" I tease with a laugh.

Pushing myself up off the bed, I go over, pulling open the little door. Sharon moans disapprovingly as it creaks. "Well maybe I like being lazy. I mean, I'm here, you're here-"

"-and the drink's here-" I say smartly. 

I pull out a lager, setting the chilled bottle on the floor as I rifle for something to Sharon's taste. Good thing about her is that she'll drink practically anything, whatever impression she'll set out to give you about her apparant sophistication and all that. So I grab her a Baby Cham, pulling the foil roughly off and twisting the cap off with a pop.

"Here." I force it into her hand and step around the room, kicking away discarded clothes with my bare feet as I sip at the bottle.

"Dennis?"

"Mmmm?" I return expectantly, turning to face her. God, she looks gorgeous. Toying with the bottle in her hand as she rests on her elbow, running her fingertips anxiously up and down the slender neck. The thin cover is wrapped tightly around her, covering her bust. But it's just... her face. Smile in place as her lips shimmer, but it's not real. Because there's a fright in her eyes.

"We'll be alright, won't we?"

"Yeah." I tell her immediately, nodding without hesitation.

She blinks slowly, taking in my words. "How are we gonna make it easy on Vicki? She'll never understand."

"You don't know that. And anyway, this isn't about Vicki is it?"

"We've been lying to her..."

"No. Not lying, just... not telling her the whole truth, that's all."

She throws me a doubtful look, like she sees no difference and if she asked, I'd have to admit to feeling that. But she doesn't, instead, clawing back her lip, draining it of colour and murmuring; "I'm her sister, you're her brother... how... how are we gonna explain us? Really?"

I hate the look of panic in her face, I hate it so damn much. I go over and sink down against the edge of the bed, placing my bottle next to hers on the bedside table before straightening my back and grappling for her hands.

"Look, Sharon, it won't be easy alright, I know that. But I love you and that means something. Nothing ever has before. I mean, if I could make it be any other way then I would but-"

"Would ya? Why is it me Dennis? Why's it me you love so much?"

I look down, understanding but somehow simultaneously hurt by her question. "Does it have to matter? Why can't I just love you?"

"Cos why is all Vicki's gonna have! And I need to have all the answers for her Dennis, because I need you by the end of it."

I laugh in spite of myself, stroking across her knuckles as I hold both of her hands. "OK. I love you... probably because you're the only person alive I shouldn't."

And she bows her head, giggling as she holds on tighter to me. "Just a challenge then eh?"

"Maybe." I shrug, hardly knowing the truth of it myself anymore, I've become so lost in being so happy with her here. "But it came good in the end, didn't it?"

"Yeah." Sharon says softly, even though realistically, we both know we have no idea how it's gonna be in the end. Because this isn't the end. We're still hiding away in our own perfect bubble, never wanting to go back to reality, to hurt anyone around, especially not Vicki. "I just... why did you hold on darlin'? All those months? You coulda had anyone and no-one on that Square woulda batted an eyelid. Normal, that's what we wanted wasn't it?"

I nod. "But I met you didn't I? I swear, I never knew it'd be like this. Never done the family thing before right? I just... I couldn't look at you, or Vicki for months, and see a sister. You were just people. And I know, to begin with, me and you... didn't really get on, but even then, I thought a lotta you, cos you had no bloody trouble telling me what you thought. You've got guts and I respect that. So... we've gotta make a decision, and we've gotta stick to it."

"It was made before we got here, y'know that."

I smile. "Right. So it's us... me and you?"

"I hope so."

It hurts that she can't sound stronger, but then hasn't she made it my job to make her be strong, for herself... for us? I lean forward, kissing her firmly, relaxed only as her return comes against my lips.

"Just trust me a little yeah? It don't happen til it happens and even when it does, I'll be right here, won't I?"

"I know. Just... when they said "love hurts", I never realised they meant everyone. I don't wanna hurt Vicki but... I don't wanna hurt you either, not after all this time. I just wanna be with you, that's all. I love you..."

"I know.." I assure her. But it don't seem to work. Cos she shakes her head insistently.

"No, you don't, how can you when I spent so long telling you that- I was awful to you and none of it was your fault!"

"Not much." I scoff. "I tell you Den's still alive and then I make it all happen don't I, just as he's springing out his bloody grave!"

"But that was Vicki! And anyway, in the flat... it wasn't just you, it wasn't. I was there too right? I just... I didn't understand, I didn't know how. But now I do. It's Vicki that won't. And she'll have to know..."

"Yeah." I agree readily, pulling Sharon across into my arms as she shakes. I wish I know how things went round in her head and managed to get her so worked up at the drop of a hat. "She will. But not yet. In case you'd forgotten darlin', we're still on holiday..."

27. Sharon

Dennis was right, course he was. It was just, I couldn't help but panic. Cos, this, every second of it is perfect and cos of that, it's terrifying all at once. Because Vicki will have to know, when hardly matters; she'll have to know and she's not about to start sounding off about how pleased she is for the two of us. I mean, I'd love it if she could, but even in this haze of perfection Dennis keeps creating again and again; I can still see sense. What if Dennis was my blood, and it was Vicki that could boast the adoption certificate? No, there's not a fair comparison, Vicki's younger than me, I feel sick already. It's just... brothers and sisters. That was meant to be the game. I can't just decide I don't wanna play anymore can I?

I still don't know how to describe the emotion that writhes inside when I think on that. Because Dennis... he's amazing. He is and all the time I was looking at him, trying to forget what had gone on that night, trying to find my "brother"... see, there it is. I say it, and I hate it. It just doesn't fit anymore. He's not my brother. And we've gone too far to ever step back and pretend that he is. 

Jesus Christ, just imagine birthdays, Christmases, handing over beautifully written cards "to my brother"? No way. Cos, and God, I'm lucky I can laugh about this now, give me a few weeks and I won't, all the while knowing I'm gonna be thinking "I know how to get you off..." How the bloody hell can we make "brothers and sisters" work after that?

It's all too damn late now anyway. I love him. And he loves me. And how are we supposed to get out of that one?

Not that I understand how it has realistically happened. I've just let myself drown in the sun, the warmth of every bed I have fallen against, the hours I've willed away making love with him. So much for the tan I wanted. If he's there next to me, I don't even wanna get out of bed! And if he isn't, then I only get up to find him and bring him back again. 

So is this shallow? Or something that'll still be there once Vicki's screams of disapproval have died off?

I can only hope so as I lie here, curled up in Dennis' arms, still idly sipping at drinks I no longer know the names of. Because here, everything's perfect. It's stupid but it's like nothing could go wrong for us as long as we're here. But this, as idyllic as it is, is also hiding away. And part of me doesn't want that. I'm in love for God's sake; why can't I just be like any other woman on this planet and wanna go rub everyone else's faces in it. Admittedly, I'm the first person to admitting to hating people like that, but that's only because I never was like that. Now I am, and I know it. I want to enjoy it.

But I still can't bring myself to move from the contentment of Dennis' embrace. I could because he'd let me. But I can't. I haven't even bothered to dress again, lying here, covered only by the fluffy robe I snaffled from the bathroom. I'm probably inviting temptation all over again, but I'm not gonna admit to that. A girl likes surprises.

"You fancy doing something with today?"

I just smile, nestling further into him as he murmurs into my hair. Any other moment and I'd be certain he was trying to hurry me up. But he's not. He's speaking too softly. He doesn't care what I say right now.

"Nope. Bloody happy where I am."

I feel him go rigid and I laugh nervously as I pull myself up to the level of his gaze as he throws me an odd look.

"Yeah?"

"Yes! What are you expecting me to say Dennis? You're making me miserable? Cos you're not."

And he looks so disbelieving, I fall just that tiny bit harder in love with him then and there.

"Just seems more my thing, y'know?"

"Oh yeah, darlin', I know. Sex at hourly intervals, I'm practically having a nervous breakdown!"

Laughing gently in the face of my blatant sarcasm. he throws back; "Well you shouldn't be, s'good for your health!"

I crease into giggles instantly. "Oh, so that's your excuse is it?"

Dennis grins. "And I'm sticking to it."

"Mmmm!" I return knowingly, bruising his mouth fiercely, still totally in awe of the way his kisses taste as they come back against my lips. "Good for everything except my skin then! Cos of you, I haven't seen any sun at all this holiday!"

"Oh well, I'll go now shall I?" he sighs in exasperation, rolling his eyes as he straightens his back. Unseen, I smile and pull myself up too, regaining his attention by inching across the bed and winding my arms tellingly around his neck before kissing him again.

"You can't leave me in here!"

"I so can!" he teases, his gaze dropping from my face and travelling down my body, the shimmering of his gorgeous eyes making my skin burn. "Unlike some, I'm dressed. So I get up and go, leave you with room service... sure Enrique would love to hear from you!"

Letting my fingers dance idly through his hair, I give Dennis a small smile. "You really don't like him do you?"

His lips curve. But that's the only answer I get. So I lean in closer, determined to tease him. Cos my darling's beautiful when he gets edgy or jealous or better... the sexiest mix of both.

"So what happens-" I whisper, bowing my head. "-if I just wanna lure him up here huh?"

"Then you can piss off back to your own room, love!"

I giggle, just needing to kiss away the shimmer on his lips. "Well exactly. This is your room, Dennis, and-" I glance over my shoulder towards the floor before I turn back to him, announcing innocently; "-my clothes are all over your floor..."

"Best place for 'em, I reckon-"

I whack him playfully on the shoulder. "Stop it."

"No!" he bleats indignantly. "I'm serious, they look bloody good down there!"

"Oh right, and Enrique, probably being the bloke that took our booking is gonna think that too is he?"

"Uh, yeah! He is if he sees what I see!"

Intrigued, I ask; "And what's that?"

Smiling softly, Dennis reaches and strokes strands of hair away from my face. "What's mine..."

Oh God, my heart's going too fast. He just...

We belong together.

My throat's dry. Get that for a feat, Sharon Watts, rendered speechless.

"What?" Dennis laughs nervously, scanning my face as my mouth gapes. Worried he's getting panicked, thinking he's being too fast, too heavy, I shake my head slowly, wanting to dispel any such thoughts. 

God, isn't it that that should scare me? For Dennis, all these feelings have been in place for months and months. I've only really relaxed into the whole idea in the few days since I dared to admit to myself there was something different between the two of us, something to be explored and enjoyed. I should be terrified when he can come out with stuff like that. But I'm not. Because... it's natural. And more importantly, it's true. I am his and I must have known that to have let this whole thing develop between us at all. I'm strong enough, if I really meant to have myself a brother, he wouldn't have worn me down. But he'd still have been there, wanting me in all the ways he's proved in just these few days. I am not passing it up.

Instead, I'm back to kissing him. Yep, self-confessed obsessive of the talents of this mouth.

"That was really sweet baby..." I lean over, my hand casing around the phone.

"Hey, hey, what are you doing?" Dennis questions, catching my hand.

"Well, calling off Enrique of cou-"

But he cuts me off with a look. Just a look. Perfectly smouldering and gorgeous. And yet I can read the flicker of daring and am forced to throw the phone carelessly down and scramble, giggling, across the bed.

And of course, I take a pillow with me... just as a precaution!

28.

And yet, whacking him with it doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere because Dennis keeps grabbing the end and throwing it back at me. I would be indignant and make him pay, but I'm giggling too much, totally intoxicated as he pushes me back against the bed and covers me, wrenching the pillow from my hands and tossing it idly aside. But just his hands against my body makes me writhe, fighting to force him off, not that I really want to be freed.

"Get off!" I chortle, pressing into his shoulders and wriggling some more. But he just smirks, eyes smouldering and making me bite expectantly into my lip as he looks at me. His lips crashing down on mine, a half-born breath is stolen from my chest. Oh bloody hell, let him have it. He can have whatever the hell he wants. I mean, what's there for me to do now, except lie here, returning the passions of his chest and letting my feverish hands wander all over him. Never gonna hear a word of complaint about that am I?

There's the other thing about every second I'm spending with Dennis. It's so, totally guaranteed to go straight back to sex. And I know what people would say about that. It's shallow and meaningless, but they're wrong. Cos I'm obsessed with him. And a little (or maybe not so little!) obsession is good for the soul. I'm loving discovering him, what "does" it for him, and more importantly, being safe in the knowledge that I can "do" it. It seems he was born to know me so I'm bloody glad I found him. Never known sex like it. Every single time, he does something that I never knew could make me as crazy as it does. He's like a fever I never wanna sweat out.

And if it wasn't that I loved him too, loved being curled up together after each time making love, murmuring into the pillow we share, never wanting to be so far apart as to have use for one each; then let me tell ya, I'd be more than willing to use him for sex like he demanded that first night. I almost manage to smile at the recollection as I drown in the ferocity of this kiss, but it still makes me want to bite my lip in shame. Because that night, I did use him. And he knows it, and he knows too how much it hurt. And yet, he's still here, all these months later, loving me and doing everything to make me fall just as hard in return. He's amazing.

I groan reluctantly at the sound of a firm knock on the door, my head resting listlessly in the pillow. But Dennis smiles, caressing my cheek and guiding me back to the hunger in his gaze, murmuring; "Leave it."

And he convinces me for a few seconds with the soothing of another kiss. That is, until a voice we both know rings out from the other side of the door.

"Dennis?"

Vicki!

"Or not..." he sighs, leaving me with the lightest kiss before pulling himself up. I scramble off the bed too, consciously pulling my loosened bathrobe tight around myself once again.

"What do we do?" I hiss desperately, rushing round and picking up my clothes and, knowing I'll have no time to dress and be convincing in any sort of lie, sling them carelessly into one of Dennis' drawers.

"Calm down!" he advises softly.

"How am I meant to calm down? Vicki's-"

But there's no point finishing my sentence. Because Dennis knows it all as well as I do. I sigh heavily and rake my hand through my hair.

"Calm down-" Dennis says again. "-and get in the bed."

"What? Are you insane?"

"Do it."

And I do. What else is there to trust but him? But as I burrow under the covers, I'm fighting the urge to pull them over my head and just pretend I don't exist, my stomach tying itself up in knots as Dennis releases a prepatory breath and then opens the door.

"You alright sis? Rob?"

"Heya mate."

"C'mon then Vicks, what you doing here?"

"Well, I tried calling, but your phone wasn't... Sharon?!"

I want to scream in terror as she sees me, I swear, but all I manage is a whimper.

"What the hell is she doing there?" Vicki snaps and the tightness in my stomach prays to God that Dennis knows what he's doing as he precedes her stride and sinks down on the edge of the bed.

"Being ill last I knew..."

Even as strands of my hair fall into my eyes, I see Vicki's look of disbelief. "In your bed?"

"Don't look at me!" Dennis protests. "She just turned up here, said she wanted some company now she felt better. Stupid cow was lying... she threw up in the bathroom."

I feel so mean I probably could be ill. Because Vicki's swallowing every word of it, her face draining of colour and the corners of her mouth turning down. "Oh..."

Rob presses into Vicki's shoulder, ready to guide her from the room. "We probably shouldn't disturb her then babe, let her get some sleep..."

She nods jerkily, biting into her thumbnail. "Yeah... Yeah..."

But guilt makes me speak out, even as the words stick painfully in my throat. "Wh-What did you want?"

Silently, she turns back with a weak smile and moves towards the bed. "Oh, it was nothing Sharon, really. Me & Rob just wondered if you and Dennis wanted to do dinner or something tonight, y'know, like the four of us?"

"Oh..." I whisper. "I'm sorry, darlin'."

Vicki shakes her head. "It's alright. If you're not well then... then we'll do it another time yeah?"

"I promise."

She leans forwards and kisses my forehead, all at once making it feel feverish when really, I know I'm fine. Guilt's what burns and that's all.

As she moves past Dennis, she flicks commandingly at his arm with her hand. "You best take bloody good care of her!"

"Oh no-" Dennis muses sarcastically, folding his arms across his chest. "-I was about to go out and hammered on tequila weren't I? Leave her here on her own!"

"Don't take the piss Dennis!" she growls warningly. "She could be really ill, sunstroke or summat..."

"I'm fine!" I call out, but thanks to Dennis and what she's chosen to see as a result, I know she's not going to believe me.

"Bloody hell Vicki-" Dennis sighs, getting up and taking up where Rob left off in trying to guide her out the room. "-will you just trust me a little? She needs anything, she'll get it alright? So just go and do whatever's legal in this country and be back before the morning yeah?"

"Well actually, I was thinking I might go back with Rob tonight..."

She says it really cautiously bless her, like she's worried Dennis is about to tell her off and have her on a curfew, but the truth of it is, inwardly, the man's thanking his lucky stars; or just the one in Rob.

"OK." Dennis tells her brightly. "Just... don't do anything I wouldn't do alright?"

And as Vicki steps out into the corridor, laughing, I am too. "So what does that leave then Dennis?"

I can hear the temptation of a laugh in Dennis' tone as he turns back into the room, pushing the door shut as he calls; "Night Vicki!"

As soon as the door clicks shut, I'm groping blindly for the pillow he wrestled from me. As my hand cases around it, I lift and throw it aimlessly, only aware it managed to reach him in any sort of way as he throws up his arms, crying; "Oi!"

But I bury my face in the remaining pillow, mumbling; "You're a bastard..." 

29. Sharon

Breathless, I lie back against the pillow, the other one having come back with Dennis as he leant over to offer his apologies in a kiss. Not that it was a very sincere apology, but hey, I'm easily swayed. So I lost another hour or two when I could have been enjoying what's outside this hotel room, by instead enjoying what's inside this hotel room. I really could just lock the door and stay here forever. Well, in theory. Because all this love and obsession stuff means you get wrecked quickly. Or maybe that's just me, not being able to say no to this one man.

Still, his lips are insistent, nuzzling into the slope of my neck, my skin burning as his hands slide skillfully beneath the covers to teasingly caress my bare skin, across my dampened thighs and gently pushing them apart.

"Mmmm!" I protest weakly, pretty much powerless beneath any sort of touch that comes from him anyway. "I can't do that again..."

"You could..." Dennis whispers flirtatiously against the cushion of my bottom lip before he'll press his mouth fully over mine, delivering a firm kiss. "...if you really wanted to!"

"That's not fair!" I whimper. "I need energy, I need food..."

Dennis just smirks. "What's room service for?"

Knowing my own words as soon as I hear them, and humoured simultaneously, I throw his own back. "Lazy people, darlin'!"

"That's one word for it, I guess. But you're supposed to be "ill", you've got no chance of even leaving the room..."

"Oh yeah? And what are you doing here eh?"

Sliding his arms around me, he pulls me back and I curl perfectly up into him as he cuddles into me, kissing my shoulder. "Making sure you don't get bored."

I giggle softly. "No chance of that with you around, is there?"

I can practically hear his smile as we lie there. "I was hoping you'd say that..."

And we're happily silent there together for a few seconds, not needing words. That is until the clearest of thoughts enters my head.

"I want some Wine Gums..."

I feel Dennis go rigid against me perhaps in surprise. He pulls himself up a little way and leans across my shoulder to look me in the eye. "You what?"

I just smile and wriggle contently into his warmth. "I want some Wine Gums... you know the fruit jelly things in stripey packets..."

I wait patiently, somehow sure he's gonna snigger and ask if I didn't mean a packet of condoms, but he sounds pretty aghast in reality. "I know what they are, Sharon, I just... what a bloody thing to come out with!"

"Sugar rush i'n't it? Bloody need the energy if you're expecting me to carry on at this rate."

"Don't get tetchy now baby, was you that set the challenge!"

"I didn't set anything!" I bleat indignantly, knowing full well what's he's talking about. "And anyway, I was with Lee for months... and we've got longer than that haven't we?"

"Course we have, but still, it's all for the entertainment value innit?"

I tut despairingly. "Jesus Christ Dennis, why don't you just order in the porn channels and have done with it?"

He laughs gently, kissing my earlobe and making me writhe with the tickling sensation it creates and he knows damn well what such a thing does to me. "Well, that's easy. Cos I'd rather have you, wouldn't I, and it sounds like I need to order you in some Wine Gums instead..."

"Mmmm." I moan appreciatively. "Thank you baby."

"I want your black ones, mind!"

And the contented moan immediately becomes a groan. "Oh no! You're one of them pretend considerate types aren't you, you bastard!"

"Oi! It ain't pretend! I am considerate! Massively considerate!"

"No! You want all the best ones and you can't have them!"

He laughs again, bowing his head and blowing gently over my shoulder before dropping a kiss there again. "Red ones then..."

"No! They're my wine gums Dennis and if you wanna get anywhere with me tonight darlin', you'll leave 'em alone..."

I feel the vibration of the softest laugh slipping from his lips and dancing across my skin as his kisses go down the ridges of my spine.

"Green ones?"

"No..."

"Orange ones?"

"Dennis, shut up!" 

30. Dennis

I don't think Sharon ever noticed she didn't get the wine gums. One of the most beautiful things about her is that she's so easily distracted. And she seems to bring out the best of my imagination, because I never seem to run out of ways to distract her. I guess I'm really selfish like that. Didn't think I heard any complaints though. And I had none to make myself, until Sharon started scooping up her clothes from the floor. Didn't want them to be any place else.

"Hey... where you going?"

I pull lazily at her arm, but she just lets her hunched shoulders drop and looks over at me, this smile I can tell she doesn't really mean curving her lips. "Dennis, rational thought, darlin'... we can't spend every waking second together, y'know, not with Vicki around."

"Vicki's not around." I protest lazily.

"No..." she agrees reluctantly, leaning over and gently pressing my willing lips. "...but if I keep sneaking out of your room and you keep creeping out of mine at any hour of the morning, and the only way we get round that with Vicki is being "sick" in the bathroom, then she's gonna think we've both got really bad cases of food posioning!"

"Let her."

Another weak smile, Sharon doesn't mean. "Dennis, be serious..."

I laugh softly, pulling myself up to the warmth of her form and letting my hands sneak beneath her top and stroke up her back as I whisper; "How can I? You're killing me here..."

"And that-" she says pointedly, turning her head and kissing me again, barely an imprint upon my lips. "-is exactly why I should go now."

"No..." I groan against her shoulder. "Sharon, please..."

"Oooh darlin', getting into begging now?"

"Will it work?"

"Probably... I'm weak like that."

"It's not weakness-"

"No, it's obsession..."

"Oh yeah?" I smirk proudly. "What with?"

Sharon giggles gently, bowing her head to rest her forehead against mine. "You do my head in, you know that?"

"That's not true." I shoot back, caressing her cheek with my hand and drawing her in a little further. "You love me..."

"Mmmm... and who told you that darlin'?"

"You did..."

"Oh I did, didn't I?"

She snakes her arms around my neck and kisses me fully, teasing my lip until I invite her tongue into my mouth. Pressing my weight further into the bed, I push her back against it. She moans into my kiss, but of course, she doesn't resist me. Not anymore. Past the point of no return we are. And it's great. So not letting her out of this bed, never mind my sight.

"I'm going now..."

"Yeah? Don't look much like it to me."

"Shut it, you."

"Well, I'm trying but you keep talking..."

But, obediently so, I move back, missing her taste immediately.

"Give me chance here, Dennis..."

"What for?"

"To miss you..."

I slump back, not quite sure what I'm supposed to make of that. I blink slowly, trying to fathom the whirl of emotions. Weird bloody things they are, can drive you crazy when they're all for a woman like Sharon.

"Are you bored?"

Her beautiful eyes bulge in disgust at such a suggestion. "What? No! I just... don't want Vicki... anyone... to suss us before we're ready. I want more days like this first. And besides, I quite fancy the idea of you getting lovesick."

I raise a dubious eyebrow. "Proving my worth?"

"Oh shut up." Sharon scoffs, hitting me lightly on the arm. "We both know you've got nothing to prove, not to me."

"Hmmm... so what have I been wasting all this energy for?"

"Wasting? Oh you are so sleeping on your own tonight!"

I feign hurt, sliding my arms around her. "I wasn't really planning on much sleeping."

"Bet you weren't. But you know what, Dennis, we coulda just booked into a hotel in London. We didn't. We're in Tenerife and I kinda wanted to see some of it seeing as we're out here..."

"Yeah?"

She nods. "Yeah."

I chew thoughtfully on my lip for a second. "Alright then... so how long do you need to get dressed?"

She looks at me suspiciously, but I just grin. "What sort of "dressed"?"

"Gorgeous dressed."

"No time at all..."

Well, it's easy enough for me to agree with that but I know damn well she's lying and I know that because she's Sharon. Half an hour would be quick for her. But if she wants to see this place, then she's gonna see it.

"Then go. And I'll see you out front in ten minutes."

31. Sharon

OK, when I said "no time at all", it appears I meant half an hour - and that's me being bloody quick and only cos I miss him as soon as he forces me to be gone. I suppose I said that was what I wanted. And I guess I did, because it means something, knowing there is someone to miss when they're not beside you anymore. It felt good to know the feeling was there. Coupled with the swirls of excitement at wondering what he's planning in that head of his, my hands were practically shaking as I flicked aimlessly through my wardrobe. 

Seriously, how long was he expecting me to take? If he knew me at all, what I want to be for him, then he'd be impressed it didn't take me hours to make myself up in a way that would make me feel utterly gorgeous. But then I suppose, it can't really take that long if you give a girl the right and outfit and shoes. Thankfully, I'm a girl that had the sense to pack many right outfits and shoes.

The dress I settle on is white, light and airy upon my feverish form, thin straps set against my shoulders. They dig in a little, but it's more annoying than uncomfortable. Bit like the pastel coloured bunched beneath my bust. But they look cute, the pinks and the purples setting off the lightly impronted flowers on the rest of the dress. Besides, gives me something to wrap round my finger and fiddle with when I get nervous. I can't get changed now anyway, I've forced my feet, with much effort, into a pair of strappy sandals and the colour's a perfect match for the pale pink ribbons. Done deal, specially seeing as the clutch bag matches too. God, I'm good.

Well, I am. My hair's not. Definitely known as "bed-hair" and it's Dennis' bloody fault I've been spending this much time in bed in the first place. It's not too bad though. It brushes through easy enough, it's just the curls on my shoulders refuse to straighten out. I throw the brush down again, squirting passion flower perfume liberally and willing my hair to do as it will - totally not gonna keep my guy waiting, not under this shroud of mystery. I'm too intrigued. Guess he likes being able to force that on me.

Ruffling the curls away from my prickling neck with my hand as I step out the lift, I catch sight of Enrique behind the concierge desk. I let a smile follow. I'm beginning to worry for the guy; he never seems to be off-duty! He grins back and I get this little shudder. Not a bad one, but not a good one either. I don't wanna do anything that makes Dennis right, that endangers the two of us. I need him, and apparantly, he plans to show me a reason why.

So I lift my head confidently and leave the lobby. The night air's warm, which would be a comfort if only I could catch sight of Dennis. Bastard's not here. Has he got bored of waiting on me or something?

My heel scraping apprehensively against the floor, I move a few paces in search, hunched forward a little in expectation. But the next thing I am even so much as aware of is someone pulling at my wrist and then my back meeting brick wall with an uncomfortable force.

I'm almost ready to scream, caught off blance and terrified at being taken by such surprise, but in my next breath, I recognise the warmth of Dennis' body against mine, arms surrounding me to hold me steady in what he must have figured would have been my ensuing panic. I breathe a sigh of relief, sagging in this relaxation, wrapping my arms casually around his neck as he presses his lips fiercely to mine.

"What's wrong with big, open spaces darlin', huh?"

"Well, I wouldn't have been able to do that for starters."

"Oh what, so hiding behind walls works better does it?"

Giving me an odd look through narrowed eyes, Dennis' hands move up my arms, which he presses concernedly into as he feels me shudder. "Sorry, did I scare ya?"

I roll my eyes, scoffing. "Piss off, did you."

"I musta done... you nearly went flying..."

"Well, that's cos you grabbed me! And if I'd broken the heel on these shoes, Dennis, then darlin', there woulda been hell to pay!"

He drops his gaze, holding me tighter, as if there's more appreciation in his touch just at the sight of me. "Not up for a walk then?"

"Walk? Where to?"

He shrugs. "Nowhere really. There's just some things you gotta see..."

And he steps back, offering me his hand as he observes my soft smile. At least he listened to me, even if I get the distinct feeling he's teasing me. I reach over and let my fingers slip securely through his. He grips my hand tightly and I understand just in that one touch. Because we can't be seen to touch, not in these kind of ways, in view of people with the right to question us. We're not ready for confrontation and why should we be? We just wanna be together.

The night's good for opportunities like that. I feel his arm lock around my back and the only thing that feels natural is to nestle into him and hold him too. "Suppose you wouldn't have been able to do that either right?"

"Exactly." Dennis whispers into my hair. "But now I can... so I will."

"Mmm, good..."

He laughs gently as he straightens up. "I'd love to be all over you in the lobby though, just so Enrique knows what's what... who's whose, y'know?"

I smirk. "Ah, the jealous lover returns. I told ya, darlin', I'll let him down gently for ya..."

"Hmmm, I know. Shoes..."

"Eh?"

I look up in surprise, somehow lulled into a contented security as we've been walking, so wound together. I haven't really needed to pay attention to where we've been walking - not that we've gone far, cos I'm looking down on the beach, which is all of three seconds away from the hotel. But it's far enough, because no-one's gonna judge us on miles of deserted sands.

Dropping his arm from around me and leaping over the low concrete wall beside the slope and kicking up a mini sandstorm as he turns. "Sharon, you don't take them off, you're gonna sink in this faster than the Titanic!"

I raise a questioning eyebrow and say smartly; "It took three hours for the Titanic to sink baby."

"Oh yeah, and how would you know eh? Were you on it?"

"First class of course! Yeah, I was the classy bird-"

"-roughing it in steerage?"

I grin. "I was in good company!" I settle myself on the wall and obediently yank off my shoes, pulling myself up onto the wall, swinging my shoes by the straps in my other hand.

Dennis moves over in interest and offers up his hand as I step down heavily onto the warm sand, his arms falling around me once again. We don't need to say anything; we just walk, just us... like lovers. But after a few minutes, he rounds on me affectionately, hands stroking across my arms as he murmurs; "You look gorgeous by the way..."

"Oh... you noticed then?"

"I'm not blind darlin'..."

"No." I simper mockingly, stroking my hand through his hair as I draw him closer. "You just have to act that way huh?"

"Exactly!"

"I missed you..."

Dennis laughs softly. "Well you shouldn't have taken so bloody long should you?"

"Why not?" I demand. "Was worth it. It's beautiful out here.."

And it is. The sky's gone a beautiful deep pink as the sun bestows liberally the last rays of this day, making the sand sparkle like diamonds. Seems he's right. This is something definitely worth seeing. A sunset... with Dennis right here, whispering in my ear.

"Wanna see this one out?"

32.

I don't think there was much else in the world I coulda wanted to do anymore at that given moment. We settled ourselves on the sand, me nestled contently in the protection of arms that were never going to let me go so long as I was happy to be there; and let's be honest, that's pretty much gonna be forever. Just knowing he was there as we watched all this gorgeous light shimmer across the sparkling water and then die away, nothing was gonna top it. We weren't even really speaking to one another - we were just sat on the warm sand, like this was our own personal corner of the world, a private little paradise. No-one to come by and judge us, and even if they did, what would they see besides two people in love?

Dennis is watching the way the light dances across the water with the kinda amazement a little boy has in his eyes on Christmas morning. I have an all new kind of love ready for him just at that innocence.

"You alright?" I murmur, curling my toes into the depth of the warm sand.

"Mmmm. Just... never done this before."

I smile gently, stroking the back of his hand as I hold it protectively. "Neither have I..."

He looks down on me in a way that says he doubts me. And I wish he had reason, but it's true. "You haven't?"

"Nope. So I suppose, all the men in my life never really had a sense of romance before now eh?"

"Oh right-" he grins. "-is that what you call it?"

"Yeah!" I tease, recognising his amusement at such a tender accusation almost immediately. "And it don't matter what you want the rest of the world to think of ya, Dennis, I know the truth, and that's that you are a romantic."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!" I assure him, cuddling closer into him. "But don't worry, I won't go spreading it around or anything. I'm just glad you're here!"

As I rest my head against his chest, Dennis strokes hair from my face, leaning closer and whispering; "Why?"

Oh God, how I love him. I hit him playfully in the chest as I lift my head to meet his gaze. "What do you mean "why?" idiot? Cos I love you... you make me happy!"

"Oh right... OK." And he begins tracing circles in the sand with a fingertip as he holds my hand. "Wanna build a sandcastle? We could try re-doing The Vic if you want!"

"No, I don't. If I'm gonna build anything, I wanna build where we're gonna live..."

"We're?"

"Oh yeah! Definitely. I mean, you're gonna come steal me away on a big white horse right?"

As I giggle, Dennis laughs; "Yep - it's tied up round the corner!"

"Great. So then we can make our own castle... raise a litter of puppies or something, then in a couple of years, we'll get married and-" I'm only playing, giggling still as I tease him. But his arms seemed to have stiffened around me. 

So cautiously, I wriggle, straightening my back and turning my head so his every released breath of apprehension dances across my cheek. I raise my hand and caress his own. He blinks at my touch, looking at me at last.

"Baby, I'm only teasing... you know that right?"

He bites into his lip and nods. "Yeah, I know. Just kinda... hit me y'know?"

But I don't. "What hit you?"

"That I'd do it. I'd do all of it if that's what you wanted."

I smile, the most powerful love making my heart swell as it beats that little bit faster. "You must have it bad."

"And whose fault is that?"

"Mine!" I return proudly, pressing his mouth and enjoying his taste. "But it's not always gonna be sunsets on the beach is it?"

"Why not?" Dennis enquires, lifting my hand as it holds it and lets his lips lightly brush across my knuckles.

"Cos if it was then we'd just be running away."

He nestles into my shoulder as he drops our clasped hands into my lap, whispering smartly; "I don't see much running going on!"

"Well, that's cos I'm happy, i'n't it? And if it's just us... here... then I don't have to pretend I'm not. Right here, right now... is perfect. But perfect don't last."

"Says who?"

I smile softly, wishing I could let his relaxed optimism infect me too. But fear always holds me rigid, even as I am nestled so happily in his arms. "No-one has to say it darlin', it's just true."

"Well, not for us it's not."

And just at his belief in us, me and him, I dare to believe in him as he seems to do in me. I wriggle on the sand, barely caring as the tiny particles scratch at my bare knees as I push myself up, wrapping my arms around his neck and admiring the way the dying sunlight, having almost sunk below the line of the water we have been here so wordlessly long, flickers across his beautiful face.

"You're amazing..."

He beams, but still shakes his head like he doesn't believe me. Honestly, what else has a girl gotta do? 

He just nods past me towards the last of our first admired sunset and asks; "As amazing as that?"

"I don't care about that."

"Charming!"

As he rolls his eyes, I raise my eyebrow, offering a withering look. "Dennis, shut up and let me kiss you..."

Smirking, he slides his fingertips under my chin and guides me forward to the invitation of the most passionate mouth I have ever known. My head's light as I pull back, with a moan of reluctance to challenge the one Dennis himself emits as I clamber up, shoes once again swinging from my hand. Doesn't he know it took all my strength to refuse the depth of a kiss like that and get up? I offer him my free hand and though he squints against the last of the sunlight, trying to fathom me, he gets up anyway and takes my hand, allowing his other arm to slip down around my waist, not even complaining as we walk and my shoes keep bashing him in the back as my arm rests there in turn.

We're halfway back towards the concrete slope on which we entered the beach when he leans down a little way and murmurs; "Dare I ask where we're going?"

I smirk. "D'you need to?"

"So much for wanting to see what's out here, Sharon."

I round on him, letting my arms circle his waist as I grin childishly up at him. "Seen 'em. And now I want you."

"Well... I won't complain."

"I know you won't."

But I might. Because we've barely going ten easy paces when a face I know as well as his seems to appear in front of me out of the circling blanket of the night.

"Vicki?" I mumble, not to be heard, more for Dennis to tell me I'm hallucinating. But his touch drops away from me immediately and I go cold, missing it, simultaneously knowing I'm not seeing anything wrong. The girl walking hand in hand with her bloke, absorbed, like I was with Dennis seconds ago, is Vicki, totally captivated by Rob, whose pointing out the way the sun's dying upon the water. And it's only as Vicki follows his direction that she notices Dennis and me, raising her hand to her eyes, squinting to distinguish us.

"Sharon? Dennis?"

I hear Dennis give out the softest sigh beside me and he gives me the smallest, slyest smile as we reluctantly begin to walk towards her, wishing we could touch as she and Rob do.

"Hey darlin'!" I smile, kissing her cheek.

She clutches at my hands. "What... What are you doing out here? I thought you were ill... Dennis?"

Dennis just shrugs away her suspicious look. "We're just walking, Vicki... fresh air and all that?"

"Yeah... fair enough." And her gaze snaps hopefully back to me. "So, do you feel better then?"

"Tons! He knew how to look after me, don't worry..."

And even out the corner of my eye, I know Dennis is smirking privately to himself. He won't be noticed because neither of these two will care to.

"Right, so..." She looks questioningly at Rob and he nods encouragingly, smiling at me as Vicki continues; "...d'you fancy that dinner date now then? The four of us?"

33. Vicki

I'm really enjoying this. Us lot, me, Rob - my boyfriend no less - holding my hand across the table as Sharon and Dennis sit giggling pointlessly at one another. Makes me smile. I never knew these two got on so well, must be something in the booze they're so readily knocking back. I've been whispering privately to Rob, quite absorbed in him. He has amazing eyes y'know, pull you right in, sparkling as he speaks. Gorgeous. And mine. For now at least. Thought it would be Dennis getting into the holiday romance thing, if romance is what you can call it. He must have got it a little wrong somewhere if it's his older sister he's persuading to take walks along the beach.

But still, there was that woman he was with right? Wonder if she's still on the scene? I mean, that was like... a whole day ago and this is my big brother we're talking about. Probably never even got her name.

"Oi, Dennis..." I press with interest. Dennis rolls his eyes at such an address and simply tilts his glass away from his lips without bothering to put it down as his lips curve favourable.

"Sis?"

"What happened to that woman you were with... first morning we were here?"

For some reason, Sharon sends a giggle bubbling into her own wine glass at the question. Dennis snaps his head round in suspicion, but one look at her and he's creased up, covering his face with his palms as he laughs.

I sigh in exasperation as Rob rightfully throws me a look of bemusement, not understanding any of it.

"What are you laughing at?" I demand of Sharon. She shakes her head calmly, setting down her glass and trying to straighten her lips into a settled look.

"Well, you don't expect him to know do you?"

"Why wouldn't he? She hasn't chucked you already has she?"

"No, she bloody hasn't!"

"Oooh!" I coo approvingly. "Still together after all this time eh? 'Ere Sharon, we better watch him, our brother's getting serious!"

"Awww Vicki, shut up, it's cute!"

Sticking up for him now? Well maybe she just thinks she'll get to worry about him a little less. No chance. Whoever this woman is, a night's drinking says he'll be charming her best friend or her sister by the end of this first week.

"You reckon?" I question doubtfully, eyebrow raised.

"I do actually." she nods determinedly, sweeping up her glass again and looking over at Dennis through the curve of the glass. smiling. "Bet she does too."

Dennis nods appreciatively. Then something clicks. Of course! The sly cow.

"I don't believe it."

Sharon flinches. And so she should, dirty little bitch. "Don't believe what darlin'?"

I grin. "You've pulled an' all!"

"Eh?" she laughs nervously. Nervous at being found out.

I slump back in my chair, shaking my head in disbelief as I giggle. "You don't seriously expect me to believe you've spent almost every hour since we've landed with Dennis do ya?"

"And why not?" Dennis splutters indignantly with a wide eyed look. 

Sharon swirls her wine round in her glass, leaning forward in interest. "Yeah, why not? Maybe I like his company!"

"Oh yeah? And when would ya have had chance to, Sharon? He's been too bloody busy with his mystery woman, and you-" I demand, thrusting an accusing finger in Dennis' direction as he looks down at the table, smirking. "-don't even try to deny it because I can tell by the look on your face, you smug bastard!"

"Alright!" he laughs, raising his palms. "I give! But only cos I feel so bloody victimised!"

"Oh shove off!" I scoff, nodding towards Sharon, who flushes pink merely at my attention. "It's her I'm interested in!"

"Why? It's obvious what's going on with her, i'n't it?"

"Oh is it?" Sharon turns readily on Dennis, humoured interest flashing in her eyes.

Rob leans easily back, nodding knowingly as he folds his arms across his chest. "It's that concierge bloke right?"

Triumphantly, Dennis throws down his fork with a clatter, declaring; "Even Rob's got you sussed Sharon!"

"Oh my God!" I gasp as Sharon goes even more scarlet. "It isn't is it?"

"Course it is!" Rob interjects. "I haven't been around you guys at all, but when I've been in that hotel, waiting to meet you Vicks yeah, all he can talk about is Sharon. Now he either wants to get in there, or he already is, know what I'm saying?"

"Oh for God's sake!" Sharon huffs, glaring between Dennis and Rob. "Do I have to remind you I was violently sick in Dennis' bathroom earlier, already struggling to keep food down and all that?"

"Oh... course darlin', sorry!" And with a weak smile I can only guess is supposed to pass for apology, Dennis reaches over and tries to steal away her plate. Immediately, Sharon's shrieking in protest, slapping him away as he laughs. "Don't know what your problem is y'know, it's your sex life her over here's going on about - which by the way Vicki, is really perverse!"

"Hey look, I ain't asking about yours am I?" I tell him, challenging his look with a wide-eyed stare of my own. "I can handle hers!"

"Oh well, thanks Vicki!" Sharon cries sarcastically. "But you don't have to, cos it ain't who you think it is!"

I love how Dennis looks up immediately, eyes narrowed as he turns his head, like he's trying to work her out. Me, I'm beside myself, clicking my fingers.

"That means it's someone!"

"It does?" Dennis asks, looking directly at Sharon as she looks down, blanching her lip. Honestly, men can be so dense.

"Yeah." she says at last, almost in an embarrassed whisper. "It does."

I'm practically off my seat in excitement, squealing. Get Sharon, getting on in there with the holiday romance stuff herself. Good on her, it's about time she had some fun, any sort of fun. She can't spend her whole life grieving for Tom can she, cos however much she loved him, she can't bring him back.

"I knew it!"

It's Dennis' stunned look that gets me. What's he have to look so surprised for? I mean, look at her - Sharon's gorgeous! Surely he can see that, even as her dimwitted younger brother.

"You kept that one quiet." he murmurs.

"How d'you mean?"

"Well... I've been with you all afternoon, you never said anything..."

She leans in a little way and reminds him softly; "That's cos I was a bit busy being sick remember?"

I griamce. And Dennis, Dennis smiles. Looks to me like he enjoyed playing Florence Nightingale, bless him.

"Enough of the gross imagery; we want details!"

"Like what?"

Exasperation wins out again as I roll my eyes. What the hell does she think? Doesn't she know she's killing me here? Luckily, Dennis picks up the thread, and I could kiss him for relieving my curiousity it's burning so furiously. I'm a bit perplexed as to where his sudden brotherly interest has sprung from, but I can't say I care as long as I get the gossip!

"Like what's he like?"

"Who?" Sharon questions, turning to face Dennis as she rests her chin in her palm.

"Your bloke-"

"Oh well... tall, dark and handsome obviously!" Sharon giggles, draining her glass as she rolls her eyes too. "Now Vicki, have I got time to get another glass of wine before you spontaneously combust with all this excitement darlin'?"

34. Dennis

As Sharon gets up, I swear she shoots me this look, like she's proud of the game she's playing. Her smile is just so.... secretive, the shimmer in her eyes only meant for my interpretation. She sweeps up her glass as she rises and then moves across to the bar. I guess that's an opportunity, because we all know she coulda just sat there and waited for someone to wander round and pander to her. But, if she gets up, then she has to walk and in shoes like that, with a hip rhythm like she's got from that height, she's... incredible. And the gutting thing is, I've gotta push thoughts like that away because Vicki's watching.

I smile weakly, trying to stave her look of questioning. "I'll go give Sharon a hand. I presume you do want another one?" I nod towards her drained glass. She grins and I know, for a few moments at least, I'm safe to go and stand beside her. I guess she heard me, because she turns to the side, so much more relaxed in her stance, and with it, damn her, so much more sexy.

I lean  forward across the bar, hands clasped on the surface. And her glossy lips offer a much more defined smirk as she turns her head and murmurs silkily; "Hello!"

"What d'you think you're doing?"

"I'm getting a drink, want one?"

I bite into my lip, but I can't hold in my nerves. "You've practically told Vicki about us!"

 She gives out a casual giggle, glancing down and tucking hair behind her ear. "Have I? I told her I'm seeing someone-"

"Yeah - me!"

"What, an' you reckon she'll figure that do you, darlin'!"

"She will if you-"

Her eyes flash dangerously. "If I what? Last I knew I weren't alone in this, Dennis!"

"You're not!" I assure her edgily. "Y'know you're not! But do you want Vicki to get this?"

"I thought that was the point Dennis, yeah? So we can be something!"

I shake my head in disbelief. "Don't you dare turn this one on me!"

"Why not? It's all about you! And you know I'm scared-"

"You've got a bloody funny way of showing it!"

"Oh yeah? And what about you? Sat there with her... Vicki and all her bloody questions, and you... wanting the details on "my bloke", like you ain't got a clue about it!"

"Oh for God's sake!" I scoff, rolling my eyes and hardly believing she's getting so wound up. "I was teasing you!"

She blinks furiously. "Brilliantly done darlin', really!"

The bartender quietly placing Sharon's drink in front of her, she lunges for it. But I pull at her wrist immediately, needing to touch her, make her see that I understand I'm being an idiot. I'm just like her really, panicking. But she ain't havin' any of it!

"Sharon..."

She just glares at me and tears her wrist from my grip, scowling. She turns back towards the table and sits down. Even ever oblivious Vicki can read the tension between us as I bite back a sigh.

"What's up with you two?"

Sharon looks away, her tremoring fingertips sliding up the stem of her wine glass.

"Nothing. I just didn't think she should be drinking... not being well and that..."

"I'm fine!" Sharon snaps.

Vicki smiles weakly, resting her chin in her palm. "You might be but I'm not. Someone-" Her gaze slides accusingly to me. "-was supposed to be getting me a drink an' all!"

"Oh Vicks... I'm sorry-" Tiredly, I push myself up again, but Rob gestures for me to sit. 

"Don't worry mate, I'll go!"

"Yeah..." Vicki adds anxiously, looking between Sharon and me. "I'll give you a hand..."

So desperate to escape the atmosphere I never wanted to create, Vicki sees the necessity of four hands to carry one wine glass. This is pathetic. If Sharon and me had just stayed in the room tonight, none of this could have happened, because it woulda just been us, everything about us that's important.

"Sharon..." I whisper desperately. "...let's just get out of here."

"What? No! What the hell would we say to Vicki?"

"I don't care - anything! I can't stand this! I'm sorry OK, I just want us to get out!"

35. Sharon

I want to stay annoyed at him, I want to so much. There's a kinda power in it, cos I know we can't break as easily as this. We're both too damn stubborn for that. We'll come back to one another in some explosive way that makes my stomach writhe with the anticipation. But Dennis isn't about to let it come, so wound up by any type of restriction in our proximity, he wants to get up and go, needing to take me with him. There's something so bloody adorable in that that I can barely let myself think on the feeble excuse we lay out to Vicki.

I put my glass heavily down, just for those few moments trying to make a point of not looking at Dennis. But that in itself is pretty hard, he's fuckin' mesmerising, even when I'm supposed to have reason to be pissed off at him! Seriously don't know how the bastard pulls that one off, but it's torture personified.

"You alright?" Vicki raises cautiously, she and Rob sliding back into their seats.

"No." I murmur, biting into my lip, staring at the table. Nervous issue that is. I'm a rubbish liar, but I understand I have to do it. 

I'm like Dennis, quietly going crazy. I feel really bad on Vicki. I've tried levelling this up a thousand times since it transpired that Dennis and I were supposed to be something new, but I always come back to the idea that I'm neglecting my sister. Maybe she feels like I just don't love her anymore. Or maybe she hasn't really noticed any difference, seeing as she's had Rob to be as immersed in as I am with her brother.

"I think Dennis might be right y'know-" I offer awkwardly to Vicki's concerned look. "-about the drinking-"

But her features soften, giving way to a giggle. "When's Dennis ever been right about anything Sharon?"

"I'm serious, Vicki. I feel awful..."

And it's true. I do. Just not in the way I need her to believe. Or fathom.

"So stop drinking!"

"Nah... babe, look at her-" Rob advises with a nod. "-she's gone really pale..."

I haven't. I know I haven't, because I can feel the colourful shame burning in my cheeks. But I bite it all back, especially as Vicki leans over and asks;

"Are you going to be sick again?"

"I don't know. But darlin', I'm sorry... I can't stay, not tonight. I can't."

Her face crumples with disappointment as she slumps back, Rob's hand covering hers for comfort as it rest against the table. "Guess I was pushing it asking tonight." she mumbles. "It's just... I saw you and Dennis out on the beach and I thought... I thought you must have felt better."

"I did!" I assure her anxiously. "I thought I did."

She smiles weakly, dismissing me as she stands up.

"What are you doing?" Dennis questions immediately. Vicki throws him an odd look, as if he's stepped out of the loop or something. Poor cow doesn't know that she's the one not in on it.

"Well, there's no point in this now is there? We should get Sharon back... so she can... rest!"

"Sweetheart, I'm not a toddler, don't need chaperoning-"

"But Sharon, what if you... I dunno, faint or something?"

I shrug. "Well then, I... oh for God's sake Dennis, tell her!"

He tilts his chin, scrapes back his chair and declares. "I'll go Vicks!"

"What?"

Dennis looks back at her with the same absurdity alive in his eyes, shaking his head gently. "Don't look at me like that! You think I won't remember the way back or summat?"

"No, course not. It's just... Sharon, are you sure you don't want us to come?"

"I'm sure darlin', no point in ruining your evening as well is there, just cos I can't keep off the bloody source!"

Reluctantly, she sinks back into her chair. I lean forward and unclasp my purse, pulling out a wedge of notes and dropping them in the centre of the table as I rise.

"What's that for?" Rob blinks in surprise.

"You two. Have this one on me, yeah?"

"Sharon-" Vicki sighs. "-you don't have to-"

"Sorry Vicki!" I call, turning away. "Really haven't got time to argue this one!" And I deliberately rush from the restuarant, leaving Dennis the less suspicious several paces behind as I stagger into the night air. It's still warm, but there's a different kind of ambience as it swirls so freely around. I slam hard up against the wall, needing to feel such stability behind me. I keep peeking around the corner, waiting to catch sight of Dennis following on, to know we're OK.

And when I do see him at last, my first thought is inevitably how damn gorgeous he is. I step out from behind the wall, standing proudly as he sees me and moves over to me, his hands sweeping up my bare arms and casing my shoulders in the insistence to touch.

I can't help but smile beneath it, relaxed now it's just us again; Sharon & Dennis - newfound couple.

"What are we going to do now?" I whisper, head bowed against his.

His lips curve gently too and he releases the softest sigh as he moves back, extending his hand for me to take in my own. I drop my fingers through willingly and we hold onto each other fiercely as we begin a slow and aimless walk.

"I'm sorry..." Dennis murmurs after a while, turning his head to sneak a glance at me.

"What for?"

He shrugs, fighting off a bemused smile. "I dunno - not being able to hack it?"

"Shut up. It was me, pushing it - I should be the one saying sorry. I just... I don't wanna be, y'know? She was asking and I... I wanted to tell her so badly. I wasn't thinking what she'd say and I know I should have been, but I just wanted to tell her how happy I am."

Dennis slows, looking at me with such a pained understanding. "You do know that won't last once she does know, right?"

Wow, that got me. "Wh-What?" I stammer, hoping I misheard.

But he reads my panic, smiling softly as he raises his hand and strokes hair back from my eyes with his warm fingertips. "Oh no, I don't mean- I... this ain't changing for anyone, I promise. It's just... it's gonna be hard, really hard."

"I knew that. But we're worth it, right?"

Beaming, Dennis nods sincerely. "Yeah... we are."

"Good. So just you keep picking the fights darlin', like I said, we'll only have to make up later..."

36.

"So which one's that?"

I don't even know where I'm pointing. I'm just being awkward cos I can, biting back a giggle as I nestle down against Dennis, pressing my hands into the warm sand.

He laughs gently, kissing my shoulder before tucking hair behind my ear to whisper against it; "Er... yeah, when I said I knew about constellations and that, what I really meant was-"

I grin, offering; "-you were just showing off and really don't have a clue."

He grimaces, reluctant to admit it. But just at such an expression, I know it's true and start giggling, pressing his cheek with my hand as I stretch up to brush his mouth.

"I love you..."

And I can feel his smile forming as he kisses me, causing my lips to tingle. "Love you too."

"God knows why..." I mumble anxiously, letting my head drop heavily against his shoulder.

"Hey!" Dennis protests, nudging me as his arms surround me. "What's with that huh? You want reasons Sharon, I can give you reasons!"

"Bet you can!" I smirk, letting my hands drop over his as he clasps them against my stomach. I trace patterns across his knuckles with my fingertip. "And none of them will go beyond the bedroom!"

He feigns hurt, biting into his lip. eyes wide and shimmering. "I'm so not that shallow!"

"I know you're not, baby!" I concede gently. "But I might be!"

"Oooh, you bitch!"

I beam innocently. "Aren't I just?"

But he doesn't say anything, just pulls me closer and kisses my hair as he strokes through it. I murmur appreciatively as I cuddle into him. He's done it again, this is perfect. Just us, on the beach, counting stars as they glitter in the dark sky, having no idea what we're looking at but loving it anyway because we're both here. I keep listening to the rushing of the waves lapping at the sand and I'm so relaxed, my eyelids are dropping off their own accord. It's not as if I'm tired or anything, no, I want to take in every detail there is, but I'm so damn content here, and I know it could only be that way because Dennis is here too.

"Aren't you gonna get up and storm off in a strop?"

Dennis laughs gently. "What, cos you're using me so mercilessly for sex? Nope, I'm good, thanks!"

"Only cos we got out of there... you'd have flipped otherwise-"

"And you wouldn't?" he questions, eyebrow raised.

I lift my head, look him straight in those smouldering eyes. "Course I would, you know I hate pretending..."

His lips curve cautiously into a smile. "Yeah well, you can stop now..."

"I know." I return, relaxing a little more in his embrace. "But, that's only til the next time isn't it? We owe Vicki one normal night, don't we, specially seeing as what we're dropping on her when we get home. I feel so mean saying this, but I wish she hadn't come. Makes me awful doesn't it?"

Dennis shrugs. "Dunno. If it does, then I am too."

"I love her and everything-"

"Yeah, so do I!"

"I know!" I repeat certainly. "But if it's gonna carry on like this, us not being able to keep away from each other then... we might as well tell her now and I know what I said tonight, but we can't! We just can't. Not yet. And I can't conveniently have food poisoning for the rest of this holiday can I?"

"I dunno-" he says suggestively, bowing his head. "-s'a good excuse not to leave the hotel room I reckon..."

"I swear to God, Dennis, you're insatiable! You ever thought of getting a hobby?"

He just smirks. "I found one a few days ago actually..."

"Really? And what's that involve?"

Besides your ever wandering hands!

One slides effortlessly beneath the edge of my dress, his thumb skimming across it as his fingertips tease the inside of my dampening thigh.

"This dress... my floor..."

His breath is deliciously warm on the slope of my neck and in that one sensation, I know I'm beat, wriggling from Dennis' embrace to reach across the sand and grab my heels, sliding my feet in as Dennis pulls himself up and looks down on me with a smug humour alive in his eyes. And I know that if he wasn't so damn sexy, if I didn't want him so much, I'd hate it. But I can't. I can't because I love him so much.

I look up at him expectantly and he drops his hand down, catching my own and pulling me up to my feet before his arms surround me once again and we begin what feels to me like a precarious walk across the sand, somehow finding ourselves at the water's edge, hand in hand.

"I promise you, I'm gonna get you in there!"

"You even dare try it, darlin'..."

"Well, why not? You told me Den & Angie couldn't get you out of it when you were little... what changed?"

"Jellyfish!" I shudder pointedly, but he still looks none the wiser. "D'you know what they tell you to do if you get stung by a jellyfish?"

And of course, he creases up, catching on immediately. "Oh God! That's brilliant!"

"Bloody isn't. I was nine I think and-"

"C'mon, who helped you out?"

I can feel the colour creeping readily into my cheeks at the recollection. "His name was Nick and we'd had our first kiss behind the ice-cream hut the day before!"

"Cute!" Dennis observes smartly, entirely unable to keep the smirk from his lips. "Didn't leave him your number then?"

I shoot him a dangerous look. "You looking to start another row?"

"No." he says sincerely, moving in closer. "Least let me make up the last one first..."  

37. Dennis

I tried to. A good few times an' all. Wasn't about to ruin the night was I? Sharon deserved my attention, to know that I was sorry for being such an insecure shit as to kick off in the restuarant. It's just, with all these moments I'm being forced to endure with both Sharon and Vicki, well I feel caged. And I know that that ain't Vicki's fault, the poor cow's clueless, but all these imposed restrictions just make me realise how much more I want Sharon. And you can bet your life it's always gonna be more than I'm convinced I've shown her. So I'm needing every moment I can steal with her, just to touch her in the ways I need to, to reiterate.

I'm just like Sharon, somehow wishing Vicki had never made it. I mean, she's here and all, and I wish her a bloody good time, I just... can't have it interfering with my own plans. And that makes me cruel I know, but I'm needy. And she don't wanna know me like that. She don't wanna know what... who made me that way. Not yet.

Thankfully, Sharon was more than willing to pander to me. And if I had the nerve, I'd ask her where she was when I really needed her all those months ago. I mean, nothing's changed, I need her more than ever now, but God, I'd have given anything to make this sooner.

Her breath barely returned to her exhausted and feverish body, Sharon spooned up beside me and pleaded to be allowed to sleep. I would have laughed, but there was no point because she was asleep almost instantly. And just at the sight of her, her hair fanned out against the pillow, I fell a little bit harder in love with her. I couldn't stop smiling, thinking back on everything I caused that made her sleep so peacefully. And for the first time, I thought, this was how it was supposed to be. This was love.

I'd lain down in the warmth of her form, loving the taste of her left upon her skin as I pressed my lips to her shoulder. She tasted so sweet. And I couldn't bear to let her go, my arms surrounding her protectively for the whole of the deliriously warm night.

That heat didn't die away as the morning broke. As I shifted comfortably beneath the covers, she murmured, like she dared to stir. I watched the flicker of her eyelids, but she didn't wake. That in itself was adorable. I couldn't help but lean over her and press my mouth gently over hers. And even as she slept, however lightly, it seemed to be the instinct of her own lips to respond, knowing my kisses and knowing better to not shy away from them. I pull myself that little way up, utterly mesmerised by her tranquil face, smiling softly as I realise her bright eyes are open and gazing back at me.

"Morning..." I whisper.

"Hi..." she murmurs back, stroking hair back from her face and rolling in on her hip to snuggle down into my arms, moaning contently. "I don't wanna get up today."

"So don't, I won't stop you..."

"But you should..."

"Why?"

"Spending so much time together... someone's gonna get suspicious, and then so will Vicki."

I sigh. "Look, Sharon, you have to stop worrying. We're on holiday for God's sake-"

"Yeah. So you should be out, chasing all the waitresses and I should be shagging, I dunno, a lifeguard." 

"Why? Who's gonna notice... who's gonna care what we're up to?"

"Vicki..."

"Sharon, we all came on this holiday together, it ain't that incredible we'll be seen together."

"No, I know. I just think that you should... be seen with someone else y'know?"

"What?"

"Oh baby, calm down. I'm not asking you to sleep with anyone. I just... I want us to seem a little less obvious right now, that's all."

"Oh right." I throw back moodily. "So we're into cheating on each other now?"

"Don't be stupid."

"What, you mean, stupid as in deliberately giving some innocent bastard the runaround just so no-one figures we're together?"

Groaning, Sharon pulls herself up, turning away and reaching for her dress on the floor. "Forget I said anything."

"Yeah, like it's as easy as that. Cos you know what Sharon? It sounds like you're ashamed of us."

She turns her head and throws me a ludicrous glare. "No!"

"You sure? Cos me, I ain't got no problem in letting the world know I'm happy with you..."

"I am too!" she protests indignantly, pulling her dress roughly over her head and letting it drop down to cover her body.

"Are ya? Don't sound like it to me."

"Well I am. But Dennis, it's hard enough as it is - Vicki already knows we're both.... involved. And-" she says quickly of my wide-eyed look. "-I know that was my fault, but it was close as I could get to telling her I'm happy. But I tell her who with and she's not gonna be happy at all. And I can't stand the idea that something that makes two people so happy can hurt one, just one, person so much. She don't deserve it."

"She'll understand. She'll have to won't she?"

Sharon hunches her shoulders miserably. "I suppose so, but that don't mean it's gonna be any easier on her. I mean, when we tell her, she's gonna wanna know details. And what are we supposed to say? "Oh yeah Vicks, you know when we saw you every day on the beach and stuff, well, usually, we'd just dragged ourselves out of bed." I don't want her thinking we're getting a kick out of lying to her."

I straighten my back, casing her shoulders and bowing my head to gently kiss the blade. "But if we let her think we're both seeing someone she's set eyes on... Sharon, that's just more lies."

"I know." she mumbles guiltily. "I know and I can't stand it. It's not like we're doing anything wrong. We just fell in love, that's all. Why does there have to be so many fuckin' lies?"

"I don't know." I murmur awkwardly. "I'm sorry."

"No-" she sighs gently, turning round and falling against her knees. "-I'm sorry. I don't want you thinking- Dennis, I'm not ashamed of us. I'm not. And I know I'm not being fair right now, but please don't go doubting that. I'm just saying we need to keep our distance by day that's all."

"Oh yeah?" I question, smirking proudly as I stroke up her bare arms. "And what about by night?"

She purses her glossy lips thoughtfully and I can practically see the giggle she's holding back bubbling there as she returns silkily; "Ah, they're a different story. Tonight for instance-"

"Go on..."

"I'm gonna prove to you I'm proud there's a you and me. We're gonna go out."

"And do what?"

Shrugging, Sharon offers; "Walk, talk... build sandcastles?"

"You turned me down last night..."

"Yeah, well maybe it's not such a bright idea. I do after all intend to be wearing a dangerously short dress. And even more dangerous shoes. But that's fine isn't it darlin', cos I'm not gonna let go of your hand. Unless of course I happen to stop in the middle of the street and need to snog your face off..."

Beaming, I lean across and kiss her, letting her know she's more than welcome to go with that desire. 

"And as for after that..."

"I'm getting a serious case of deja vu over here y'know..."

"Really?" she asks innocently, sliding her arms loosely around my neck and straddling my lap. "Well, that's the beauty of deja vu isn't it darlin'? You can have it again..." 

She presses my mouth with the kind of pressure that insinuates there's more available than she's willing to give, more eager to tease me as she rests her forehead against mine - before leaning in for another kiss, and another, all entirely in line with her words.

"...and again... and again. So I'll see you tonight..."

38. Sharon

I have to say, even I admire my strength and determination, cos as soon as those words were out of my mouth, I wanted to take them back. It wasn't as though I had anything to leave for. Hell, why would I want to leave when Dennis was right there? But I did it, maybe just to test myself, to see if I could. I loved the power of realising how much I was teasing him. Cos we both know it's not suddenly as though I don't want him anymore. It's the polar opposite. I want him so much, I couldn't bear to lose him, for anything or anyone.

But a teasing power don't keep you warm and having gone back to my room to get in the shower and change my clothes, I head up to Vicki's room, needing another occupation. And I reckon a day messing about with my baby sister might well be what I need. Until tonight, that is.

I knock on the door, but I've barely pulled my fist back when the door opens and Rob, clothes tellingly dishevelled, slides out, smiling as he sees me, but colouring with it.

"Morning Sharon."

"Rob." I nod, trying to stifle a giggle. "Vicki up is she?"

"Yeah. I was just going."

"Mmmm, so I can see, you dirty little stop out, you!" Bless him, he looks even more embarrassed and my giggle is born as I wave my hand dismissively, stretching the other out to hold the door open. "I'm joking darlin', really. See you soon, yeah?"

He nods, apparantly more relaxed now as he heads off down the corridor towards the lift. "Yeah. Bye!"

Watching him go, I push open the door and slide into Vicki's room, calling her name, perhaps glad to see she's not still curled up naked beneath the covers.

"Vicki?"

"Sharon?" she calls back, surprised to hear me. She dives out the bathroom, her eyeliner pencil in her hand, her eye make-up half done. "Hi! What are you doing here?"

"I just wondered if you fancied doing something today, that's all."

"Yeah, OK, great, why not? Just give me a second to finish this-" She gestures towards the pencil and heads off with a smile back to the bathroom mirror.

I sink down on her bed, idly smoothing out a crease in the duvet with my hand. "Did you have fun last night darlin'?"

I can hear the giggle she's fighting as she answers, "Ummm... yeah, it was nice."

"Just nice eh? Oh darlin', I'd chuck him if that's all it is..."

She comes back, giving me a wide-eyed look.

"All what is?"

I roll my eyes. "Well, let's just put it this way; me and Rob passed in the doorway and by the state of his clothes madam, you didn't sit up all night discussing foundation..."

She glances down. But I laugh softly, beckon her over to sit beside me on the bed. Her cheeks coloured however, she just can't look at me. I reach over and squeeze one of her hands playfully before she starts wringing them in her lap. "Oh Vicki, c'mon, you don't need to be embarrassed darlin', it's only me..."

"Well exactly, you're my big sister..."

"So it should be routine for you to give me the gossip. Or d'you think I don't know what sex is about?"

"Oh yeah!" she scoffs teasingly. "Sharon Watts, pure as the driven snow, right?"

I giggle. "Well, what about you eh? Oh... c'mon. You're nearly eighteen, I'm not gonna flip because you've got a bloke am I? He's gorgeous for one."

"Oi! Get your own!"

"Who says I haven't?"

Her eyes glisten. "Ah, yeah! I wanna hear more about him!"

I skirt. "I asked first, miss. I'm surprised to see you're dressed actually..."

"Oh Sharon!"

"What? Listen darlin', when you're happy with someone, there ain't any shame in just-"

"What? Tying 'em to the bed?"

"Well... whatever works, y'know..."

But Vicki bursts out laughing as she squeezes my hand. "Oh Sharon, I wish you could see your face!" Then she pulls me by the hand. "C'mon, let's go down and grab some loungers eh? Work on these tans neither of us seem to be getting!"

"Yeah, alright. And maybe we could go shopping later?"

"Yeah." she beams. "Maybe. See, it depends how many cocktails I can get away with drinking before I fall over..."

"Vicki!" I scold, humoured. "It's barely ten-thirty in the morning, you can't wanna start drinking already!"

"And why not?" she demands with a grin, rounding on me as she paces backwards down the corridor. "We're on holiday!"

She's right, of course she is, I can't reprimand her for that. And besides, it's not like I have anything better to do. Drunken banter with Vicki will be great. As long as I don't let slip anything I shouldn't. Ah, best drink steadily then Sharon eh?

Riding down in the lift, Vicki's already picking out what cocktail she's gonna start on, bless her. Looks like she wants to get proper train-wrecked then. Best hope Rob's not taking her out tonight.

We settle on two loungers across from the pool, but Vicki's up almost before she was even down, scuttling off to line up a whole list of cocktails for us to drink ourselves through this morning. Surprisingly enough, she's not that interested in the suggestion that she tries some breakfast before getting pissed up in the sun and unfortunately, as much as I care about her, there's nothing I can do to stop her. She's her own person.

Pulling my sunnies from the bag slung under Vicki's lounger, I put them on and stretch out, more than ready to spend all day relaxing here and going deliciously brown with it. The sun pours down, warming my skin, and you can hear kids shrieking with happiness as they splash around in the pool. It's perfect. People milling round, never caring about what everyone else is up to. Maybe Dennis is right - I do worry too much. But, I've let myself in for a morning (and probably, afternoon too!) of drinking with my sister. No backing out now.

Fleetingly, I wonder what Dennis is up to. But as soon as I do, I wish I hadn't. Because, squinting against the sun, I'm sure I can see him. I scoot carefully forward on the lounger, knees bent up to my chest, pulling up my sunglasses and letting them perch on top my head. Yep, there he is, stood across the other side of the pool, completely immersed in conversation with Freya, one of the waitresses. 

I hate how immediately the pangs of jealousy attack me inside. I'm pathetic, I am, he's only talking to her. But he looks so damn pleased with himself, a proper gorgeous grin on his face as she giggles at whatever he's saying. And she... she's so beautiful, and effortlessly so. I've seen her milling around doing her job ever since we got here. She's got flawless cocoa skin, darkened wavy tresses, that when they aren't brushed up into a ponytail like they are right now, can reach halfway down her back. And she holds herself so well, not that she'd need to worry about that. Anyone could get lost in her big, deep chocolate eyes. And just... don't get me started on what her boobs look like in her fitted white shirt. She's gorgeous... and Dennis is still grinning. What the Hell are they talking about?

Talking? Yeah right... they're probably flirting into oblivion. But.... flirting's harmless... right?

Right?!

I'm groaning with frustration at my own insecurities, but I can't bring myself to lean back and forget the image. No, I lean down, twisting my body round so that I'm lying with my toes brushing the top-end of the lounger, my suspicious eyes closer to the sight of Dennis... and Freya.

Seriously, does she not have work to do?

"What are you looking at?" Vicki questions, forcing a Manhattan into my hands as she sails past to settle back down on her own lounger, the right way around.

"Oh nothing." I sigh, tearing my eyes away bending my legs up and lazily circling my feet for the sake of something to do. "So c'mon you-" I prompt, slipping the straw between my lips and taking a very steady sip of my drink. "-you haven't told me about Rob."

Although she beams at the mention of his name, she hunches her shoulders too. "Nothing much to tell."

"Well, you like him don't you?"

"You think I'd be sleeping with him if I didn't?"

"Well, no. So... are you gonna keep on seeing him... when we all head home?"

Vicki pulls a face. "I'd like to, but-"

"Is Rob not so keen?"

"We haven't talked about it. At all. So maybe it's only supposed to be a holiday thing y'know? A bit of fun, and that's cool, really. It's not like I came lookin for anything heavy is it?"

"I know but... if he's one of the good guys-"

"He is."

"And the sex is good-"

She giggles, sipping desperately at her drink. "It is."

"Then tell him... you're up for more than the three weeks. I mean, he might not be, but at least you'd know. And if you're having fun, then darlin', you should keep having it for as long as you can!"

She blanches her lip thoughtfully, really taking in my words. "Yeah... thanks Sharon. You're a really great big sister, you know that? Me and Dennis don't know how lucky we are."

I cast my eyes down, can't say anything. Reaching down to set my glass on the ground, I fold my arms and flop my head down, resting it to the side.

"Have you finished?" Vicki asks, leaning forward to try and suss the level of my glass. "Cos there's plenty more on the way. You do not wanna know how many Euros I've left behind that bar."

"No..." I groan. "I don't."

"Sharon..." she questions, sounding concern as she slides down to the other end of the lounger, lying out on her front too. "...are you alright?"

"What d'you think?" I force myself to smile. But Vicki is unfortunately and don't buy any of it.

"I think... you should tell me what your bloke's done wrong."

"My bloke?"

"Mmmm-hmmm. Or maybe it's Dennis eh?"

I flinch, pulling myself up. Just for that one second, I'm genuinely terrified she's figured us out. "What's Dennis?" I ask, cowering at the right end of the lounger, my legs bent defensively up to my chest.

"Well, the other night at the restuarant. When you were telling us about this guy... I thought he was alright, but he seemed a bit edgy really, and it was obvious he said something to you when you went to get more wine because... when you came back to the table, me & Rob coulda cut the atmosphere with a knife. What was it? Does Dennis not approve or something, cos Sharon... he's hooked up too, you don't need to listen to that..."

I bite into my lip as I shrug, scanning the other side of the pool for sight of him. But he's not there. Happily, Freya is, by now with a loaded drinks tray in her hand.

"I don't think Dennis approves of the way I handle things, that's all."

"Yeah?" Vicki stretches out under the warm glow of the sun with a contented murmur. "Well, stuff him. It's your life, not his."

No darlin', that's where you're wrong. It's supposed to be ours.

But I close my eyes, wanting to block out my surroundings and my thoughts. The next thing I'm aware of is Vicki shrieking. "What the Hell- Dennis!"

Yep, there he is, stood grinning his head off as Vicki dances manically round.

"Sorry Vicks, couldn't resist."

"You are so dead!" she huffs, shoving him lightly before she settles back on the lounger, drink in hand.

"What'd he do?"

"Fished an ice-cube out my drink and decided to let it melt on my back!"

"I wanted to get your attention!" he declares as she glares at him. But he's still grinning as he perches on the edge of Vicki's lounger, pulling her feet up into his lap so that her position is not compromised. She doesn't mind at all, so Dennis' attention inevitably settles on me. "Alright?"

But a gentle greeting ain't gonna do it. I look at him for barely a second, before pulling my sunglasses off my head and swinging my feet down to the floor so that I can toss the sunglasses back into the bag. But I miss and, cursing beneath my breath, I crouch down to deliver them and rifle in the bag from one of Vicki's glossies.

"Can I borrow this?" I ask Vicki, waving it at her.

She nods. "Yeah, totally. There's some quiz in there if you fancy doing it with me... y'know seeing as we've started comparing our blokes?"

"What?" I'm not really listening, having settled down on my front again, gaze level with Vicki, back to Dennis.

"It's about sexual compatability or something, the questions are so funny. I was gonna ask Rob a couple, just to see his face."

I just know I can feel Dennis' eyes burning into my back.

"Uh... d'you mind if I don't, darlin'?"

"Nope, suit yourself."

Sneaking a glance at her, I watch her lift one of her feet from Dennis' lap and poke him sharply in the thigh with her toes. "Don't think she's saying that just for your benefit, Dennis!"

It's really satisfying to register the note of panic in his voice as he looks up to answer. "Wh-What? Why would I think that?"

"Cos you're an interfering arse." Vicki tells him simply, like it's the clearest thing in the world. "It's up to Sharon who she sees alright? My... and especially your opinion don't matter on this one alright?"

"Vicks, what are you talking about?"

"You. Getting arsey when Sharon started to tell us all about this bloke in the restaurant. She won't give me any more details now which, oh darlin' brother, I don't appreciate."

"Yeah, well... like you say... her choice i'n't it?" I turn my head, looking away from the magazine and straight at Dennis, just trying to work him out. He must be the most complicated man I have ever met. But I guess that figures since he fell for me, his sister. Or at least, that's what he's been telling me he did.

But there's nothing in his face to explain him as he looks back at me. His gaze drops and he taps an uneasy rhythm against Vicki's ankles with his fingertips, which she protests amidst a giggle because "It tickles." 

Instead, he lets his hand slide part-way up her calf, before looking her in the face and saying sternly; "Vicki.... you haven't got cream on have you?"

"Oh, so what? Neither's Sharon!"

Sighing, Dennis lifts Vicki's legs from his lap and she happily lets them drop back upon the lounger as he stands up. My back stiffens as I feel the pressure of Dennis settling carefully on the edge of my lounger. He lets his fingertips glide carefully across the skin I guess he can see is beginning to redden, cos I can definitely feel it.

"You know you'll burn, you daft cow."

And damn him, I'm weakening, just at the smoothness of his touch, the softness of his voice, even if the bastard is reprimanding me.

"So?" I say stiffly, amazed at how much I sound like a stroppy teenager. "What you gonna do about it?"

His touch ceases, and I miss it. But I'm not gonna let him know that. He lets his hands drop down against his thighs, determinedly.

"Vicks, if you didn't sling the cream in that bag darlin', I'm slinging your drink in the pool..."

 39. Dennis

Surprisingly enough, my sister presses the bottle into my hand immediately. But she stretches out and waves me off with a groan. "You're not touching me. Not after the ice, you bastard!"

I shrug. "OK. Just don't complain to me when you're fried eh?"

"Wouldn't dream of it!" she assures me huffily, resting her head to the side against her arms. Then she murmurs; "I'll go to Rob instead..."

And I know she's waiting for me to throw back something sarky, but how can I? Like Sharon says, we need that guy on side.

"Why? He a fan of the lobster look?"

"Shut up!" she snaps, kicking out at me with her foot, so lazy with the swing that she misses me completely, which makes me laugh, however weakly, as I move over to Sharon. Her back stiffens. And I don't know why. Is she nervous? Annoyed? What? Damn, I can't even ask her. And even the way her skin is colouring is making me wince.

As I click open the cream, she flinches. "What d'you think you're doing?" she demands, not even lifting her head to address. She's making me nervous, and with a glance at Vicki, however oblivious she is, I know I can't ask questions. And there's so many whirring round that I don't even wanna think on

"Making sure you don't burn raw. Unless of course, that's what you want..."

And before she can protest, I squeeze a heap of the lotion across her shoulders and she winces again as it sinks in to her sizzling skin.

"See? If you'd done it earlier..."

"Look-" she tells me stiffly. "-if you're gonna do it, just do it, stop bloody lecturing me."

"Alright!" God, why is she being so short?

"She probably don't trust ya, Dennis, and who can blame her eh?"

"Funny Vicki!" I mumble sarcastically, throwing over a tight smile. "Enjoy the sunburn darlin'!"

She's not amused but I don't care. All I care about Sharon. Her muscles are so damn tense. Her neck, shoulders and all the way down her back. 

"No. She's right. I don't trust ya."

I bite anxiously into my lip, concentrating on what I'm doing, otherwise I'm gonna say something I... can't. "Well, that's... reassuring..."

And all I can think as I work my hands carefully down, working in the trails of lotion into her back, is What the Hell have I done?

It's not like I'm gonna get any help off Vicki and... well, Sharon's not playing. She's just lying there, her skin deliciously warm beneath my hands. But the problem is, it feels different, and that's not just cos Vicki's here. Not that she appears to be staying, swinging her feet down and pulling herself up, with her drained glass in her hand.

That gets Sharon's attention, and she lifts her head. "Where are you going?"

"Sharon!" I cry, exasperated. "Back!"

She lies back down heavily. "So do it again if you care so damn much, s'not gonna kill you. Vicki! Where are you going?"

"Drink!" she says obviously, tilting her empty glass to prove her point.

"Oh sit down. Call one of the waitresses over... Freya maybe?"

Vicki's brow furrows. "Who? No... I'll go, it's alright. D'you need one?"

Sharon hunches her shoulders. Jesus, does she not get I'm trying to help her here? "Nope."

"Oh OK. What about you Dennis?"

"No, I'm alright thanks, sis." No, I'm not.

Vicki shrugs and moves off. "Suit yourself." I lean forward a little, needing to make sure she's truly gone before I slide off the lounger, pulling myself up to my feet and moving round to the other end, crouching down level with Sharon. I know she knows I'm there, but she still won't turn her head. The twitch begins in her ankle and it works itself up through her leg until she writhes with affliction, the sun glistening on her moistened skin.

"I never said you could stop." she mumbles thickly, at last bending her elbow to rest her chin upon her elbow. But the corners of her mouth are turned down and her eyes are stormy with anything but passion.

I reach, gently stroking up the inside of her arm with my thumb. "What's going on, baby? What have I done?"

She lets her arm drop, flinging away my touch as she looks away. "Wish I knew..."

"Well-" I release a weak and exasperated laugh. "-d'you wanna let me know what that means?"

"I saw you..."

"Saw me...?" I prompt, not understanding a beat of this.

"With Freya..."

"Right..." I say slowly, nodding as I try and comprehend it. "And?"

"You looked like you were having a good time..."

I shrug. "I was talking to her..."

"What about?"

"Nothing." But she arches her eyebrow, not believing me for a second. "Sharon, it was nothing. Don't you think I'd tell you if it was anything?"

"No. Because if it was anything, then you..."

"Then I'd what?"

She blanches her lip and looks down at her arms, colouring a little as she mumbles; "Dennis, I don't know..."

"How can you not know?" I press softly, tilting her chin and getting her to look me in the eye. "Don't you trust me at all?"

"You know I do."

I shake my head. "No, I don't. Cos you think I'm knocking off the bloody waitress."

"No, I don't. I... I'm just scared that... I'll look round and suddenly you'll be someone else's and I won't even know when I lost you..."

I laugh gently, unable to stop myself doing so. Knowing that my palms are greasy with the sun cream, I'm careful as to how I touch her, my fingertips poised against her warm cheeks, my thumbs tilting up her chin. "You're being ridiculous."

"I know." she admits, casting her beautiful eyes shamefully down. "I know I am. But I can't help it. Vicki was there and I saw you and... I couldn't do anything."

"So that's what the cold shoulder's about eh? Cos you saw me talking to another woman? That's all she is Sharon, she's a woman."

"Well, maybe that's enough. What about the others eh?"

OK, now she's confusing me. I bow my head, eyes narrowed in confusion. "What others?"

"I dunno, do I? Any of 'em, all of 'em. I just can't stand the thought of you and... anyone!"

Aha! There we have it then. "You're jealous."

She colours a little more, doing anything but denying it, instead looking me right in the eye with her piercing eyes and murmuring; "How can you expect me not to be?"

As I process her meaning, I can't help but smile, shaking my head in disbelief. I think we might just have become a "proper" couple.

"God-" I whisper. "-I love you..."

She grins but bows her head, hair spilling around her face to hide her apparant embarrassment. "Shut up..."

"Why? I'm only telling the truth."

"I know." she whispers back. "Just don't tell it any louder OK?"

I swear, with Sharon, all I ever get is swings and roundabouts - and I'm still coming back for more gos. She gets in a strop with me because I was talking to Freya and she can't kick my arse for it and yet, when I tell her everything she needs to hear, she's back to worrying she ain't the only one that's gonna hear. She's exasperating I swear, but, two things yeah? One, she's incredible and two, she's mine. Everybody else in this world can go to Hell.

"OK..." I promise, tenderly brushing her lips.

Even the surprised tremor of her lips upon mine is adorable.

"Dennis!" she giggles nervously.

"What?"

"Vicki'll be back in a second..."

"So let's not waste it!"

And I know she's anxious, but she knows that in herself, resistance is futile. Her fingertips dance up the back of my neck and she draws me back to her again, peppering my lips.

"You... don't... leave... a... job... half... done!"

"Alright! Alright!" I laugh, leaning over to grab the sun-cream. I know her game anyway. Even when she's pissed off at me, she's determined to have my hands all over her, even in front of Vicki. I knew there was a reason I love her. I love her nerve - even when she's losing it.

But I don't move back around to slather her back, neck or shoulders. I'm guessing she'll have loosened up by now, and if not... well, we have a date tonight.

And I'm looking at her now and... she's gorgeous, she just is. And knowing that she's jealous, God, it's incredible. Because it really makes her mine. Makes me hyper like a kid on cherryade. Smirking, I tilt the suncream bottle up and dip my finger in the creamy swirl.

"What... Dennis, no!"

But I'm laughing, because it's too late. She has a heap of lotion on the tip of her nose. And first she shrieks at its coolness and then at realising what it is I've done. And even as she strikes me again and again, she's creasing into giggles, her aim and strength of contact weakening all the time. We're fully grown adults and yet, we're having a playfight, me reaching to try and grasp her shoulders and her just hitting out at me wherever she can reach to get her revenge.

"Hey, calm down Sharon, you'll do yourself an injury!"

"Oh shut up, you bastard, there was no bloody need for that!"

And when she might have been so worried to hear this third voice return and sound out over us, Sharon's laughing too hard to care as Vicki, her drink in her hand, cries out in exasperation; "What the Hell are you two doing for God's sake? Stop being so bloody embarrassing... and Sharon - why have you got cream on your nose?"

Sharon just buries her face in her arms, giggling.

Grinning, I turn and answer Vicki. "She didn't wanna freckle..." 

40. Sharon

We lounged around drinking for about another hour, but me and Vicki were quite steadily getting drunk, and though Dennis was more than happy to drink with us, in fact, he can knock vodka back with the best of 'em (and there's something suddenly painfully attractive about that fact alone) but he can't really put up with how giggly me and Vicki are getting, it's not like we're even talking about anything. Cos I keep getting distracted. And I'm nervous that Vicki will see me looking at him and realise it's in a completely different way than she does. But then why should she? I'm looking at him, and that's innocent enough.

At least it would be if he didn't know what I was thinking as I looked at him. I'm totally captivated by him. The way the sun goes across his face, illuminating his glittering eyes. The way the vodka shimmers on his lip. I'm having to bite into my own, to stop myself leaning forward and kissing it away, tasting that sweet sheen. I just wanna touch him - and I can't. I'm sure I can see the slightest hint of a smirk in the corner of his mouth, which is somehow just even more sexy. He's driving me mad, and maybe through no fault of his own. I know he likes it though.

And so will I when I get him on his own. That is gonna be amazing.

But I can hardly let Vicki know that, so I have to go with it when she leaps up, animated by God knows how many cocktails and declares she wants to go shopping. Dennis laughs.

"Right, I'm off then."

I pretend to be watching the show-offs on the high board as I gulp down my disappointment.

But Vicki, God love her, proves to be my saviour as she indignantly coughs; "Uh, where exactly?"

"Oh Vicki, c'mon, you can't seriously expect me to wanna get caught up in you two shopping? It's worse than you two drinking. So you two going shopping after you've been drinking - no chance!"

"What are you so afraid of?" Vicki challenges, arching her eyebrow.

"Ummm.... having to lie when you ask if your "bum looks big in this"?"

That manages to recapture my attention, making me wince on Vicki's behalf. Cos that was painfully low. And I wonder, just for a second, what he really thinks of me, and... my body. I manage a private shuddering of uncertainty, but force myself to refocus on Vicki, to not think of Dennis, or even see him as he stands there. Because I want him so much and now I'm worried.

"You bastard!" Vicki gasps, her hands raining down to strike him. But Dennis just grins and quickly manages to restrain her, his arms around her as he swings her off the floor. And she can't help but laugh, her protests coming out in a squeal as she has to cling to him. "Put me down!"

"Sorry sis, no can do. Not til you forgive me!"

"Dennis!"

"Vicki!" he returns in mock pleading. "Please don't make me come shopping darlin'!"

"Why?" she demands fiercely. "You planned a session with this mystery woman?"

I flinch, but those two are so busy unashamedly grinning at each other, neither of 'em notice.

"OK, not that my sex life is any of your business, but no! I haven't. I just don't wanna be the one carrying your bags."

His point as apparantly well made as he intends, Dennis sets Vicki down. And she pretends to look hurt, pouting. "You think that's all we want you for huh?"

I can feel his eyes burning into me. I just stare at my knees as I wait for his words to pass. "Maybe not."

"See? Not as shallow as you think we are. Besides, need a male opinion in some killer dresses me and Sharon found in this boutique in town."

"Oh yeah?" His tone is piqued with interest. "And when was this?"

Yeah, he has a fair point. I haven't been shopping with Vicki. Not yet. I've wanted to, but I've wanted something... or someone else a fair bit more.

"OK, when I say "me and Sharon", I mean, me and Rob. And seeing as my-" She shoots Dennis a dangerous look and he smiles softly. "-arse looks so big in everything, that and my back's disgusting-"

"Your back?" I question, confused.

She just shrugs like it's blindly obvious. "Too wide. Can't do backless. But you.... you would look incredible, and I know you won't believe me if I tell you that, so-" She turns around and gestures pointedly to Dennis with her hands, and he just looks at the ground, shaking his head in disbelief as he laughs.

Vicki sighs despairingly. "C'mon Dennis, even you must be able to tell a woman when she looks good, even if she is your sister!"

"Bloody Hell, why can't you just call Rob?"

She laughs, pressing her hand into her chest. "Cos I'd quite like his attention to stay over here. And believe me, Sharon in this dress... he'd want her, know what I mean?"

"Mmmm." he nods, blanching at his lip and privately sending me a deep look that makes me shiver. "I think I do."

"And you're her brother. I mean, you'll stay impartial. Like the Valentine's Ball... did she or did she not look entirely shaggable?"

Oh God, I can feel myself blushing, thinking exactly what happened in the days that followed. And I'm praying Vicki doesn't notice.

"Vicki!" Dennis cries out, obviously wanting to avoid that self-same embarrassment. To each other, in private moments, we can be truthful. But Vicki's here, so this is not one of those moments.

"God!" Vicki grins naughtily. "You two are hilarious. Relax! Come shopping!"

"Are you planning to get dressed first?" Dennis teases.

I throw down the magazine, despairing. I can't help but smirk however, realising that we're not gonna get past Vicki. She's got us beat. This could be interesting. I've never been shopping with Dennis. I know even now he's not the type. But that's gonna make it all the more interesting. Before, I'd never have wanted his opinion. Now I do. Can't wait to hear what the cheeky bastard's gonna have to say about my bum. 

I swing my legs off the lounger and pull myself up. "So.... you're coming shopping then?"

"Would you leave me any choice?" 

I grin innocently, cocking my head before I move past him to head back into the hotel to get changed. "Not me darlin'. Not ever."

41. Dennis

I just don't know how I got roped into this. It's ridiculous. I hate shopping, I always have. Where the Hell is the obsession born for women eh? I've gone where I've been dragged, not really listening to either of them, especially when they start fawning over displays of shoes. I remember, the summer after I came to Walford, both of them brought all their shoes into the lounge, with a vow to get rid of seven pairs each. As it turned out, Vicki owned ten pairs less than Sharon, so felt completely justified in slinging only one pair of trainers and a pair of sandals she apparantly hadn't worn since she rolled up in Walford herself. 

Sharon had a much worse time of it. At first go, she managed to find six, which she was impressed with. But when she started going through that pile, she kept dreaming up all the occassions that'd call for that pair of shoes, so she couldn't possibly throw those out. My head started to hurt just watching her. I despaired really, and I still do. Only this time I can't escape to the pub, or claim I've got work to do. I'm stuck. And I still know that of those six pairs, she kept five, throwing away the sixth under massive protest. So I know that being stood there, even though they're both bound to come back with at least four pairs, they're never gonna wear 'em.

When we made it to this boutique (that's "shop", if your name's not Vicki) I just stood back against the wall, watching them. OK, I lie, I was watching Sharon. I love her, I really do, she's adorable. Vicki kept rushing round, pointing out dresses and tops and declaring; "Oh c'mon Sharon, you'd look amazing!" Privately, I was agreeing with Vicki more often than Sharon was. It was like she couldn't really get into it. I don't know whether it's because I'm here, cos I'm not doing much at all. I'm doing exactly what Vicki's doing. Seeing everything and immediately dressing Sharon in it, always loving the sight that greets me. And I wish I could tell her as much in the way I want to. But I bite my lip, fighting back my desperation for a cigarette.

I let the two of them get on with it, deliberately staying outside the brightened corridor of changing rooms as Vicki, arms laden with pretty much as much as she could carry. Sharon follows her in, but with a slower step, the smallest sigh escaping her as she levels with me. I step closer and keep my voice to a whisper. Oh God, I want so much to touch her, but there's too many people around to see, to read the truth into it.

"What's the matter? Not having fun?"

She spits out a weak laugh. "Are you?"

"No." I answer honestly, the slightest smirk rising in the corner of my mouth. "But my brain cells aren't arranged for this."

"Well neither are mine right now. Bit preoccupied, y'know?"

Her eyes, shimmering with longing, sear into mine.

"Mmmm, I know. Still, the sooner you make Vicki happy..."

Sharon smiles knowingly. "The sooner I can make us happy right?"

I nod slightly, then lean in so my lips brush against her earlobe as I whisper; "I wanna see the ivory one..."

She draws back, looking at me quizzically, blinking as though she's stunned. Yeah well, it's her own fault for dragging me in for this shopping malarchy innit? "I'll see what I can do..." she muses flirtatiously, til she turns on her heel at Vicki's anxious calls of her name.

So I stand there, that stupid smirk on my face as I tilt my head back against the wall, studying the ceiling as I wait. Vicki, having passed Sharon through the first of God knows how many dresses, walks down the corridor and comes and stands beside me, her arms looped loosely together across her chest.

"She is gonna look amazing-"

I nod easily. "What one's she trying on?" I ask casually.

"The backless one. She reckons she hates it, but I am never wrong."

"Yeah well, maybe not Vicks, but if she doesn't like it-"

"And why shouldn't she?" my sister challenges dangerously, eyebrow arched as she dares me. I sigh. I know when not to argue with this girl.

"Vicki..." Sharon calls slowly, her tone downbeat. I turn my head, smiling smugly at Vicki. She scowls and rushes back down, hovering outside the cubicle Sharon occupies.

"What is it?"

"I'm sorry darlin', but it's just... not me. I feel all... exposed!"

OK, I'll admit to smirking to myself as she says that. Because I really like the sound of it.

"Oh come on, that's not a bad thing is it?"

"You sure? I don't look like you do anymore, Vicki!"

"Well good!" she cries despairingly. "Now c'mon, let's have a look..."

"No..." Sharon pleads. "I wanna take it off..."

Wouldn't mind the pleasure myself.

"No way, Sharon! I want to see - and I want Dennis to see I was right. That you look... sensational."

"Oh, Vicki!"

"Out Sharon!" she demands huffily, beginning to tap her foot against the laminate like an impatient mother.

"C'mon Sharon-" I call, wanting so much to laugh at the comedy in this situation. 

Sharon could be Vicki's mother, and yet Sharon's the one hiding away like a teenager who's ashamed of her body. And me, I'm a self confessed worshipper - I know there's nothing wrong with an inch of it. And there's no way she could look anything but gorgeous in anything, and it's not like I don't know what I'm talking about. She grew up wearing pixie boots and that bloody pink jumper and I know that if I'd known her then, I'd still have fancied her. Mind you, what with me only being about fourteen when she finally threw it out, I don't think I woulda had as much luck as I appear to be having at the moment.

"-you know she won't shut up til she's been proved right. And she will be. So just let her see and then she can get on with the gloating yeah?"

I hear the sigh of resignation and the heavy curtain being pushed back along the rail. I pull myself expectantly up.

"Wow." I breathe honestly.

"See, I'm right!"

"You're so not! My back is... disgusting!"

"It's... a back." I say thoughtfully. "And it's a bit more tanned than the rest of you..."

"Yeah... and I sunbathed topless as well and that's the effect I get. Last time I get my boobs out I'm tellin' ya-"

"Sharon... he saw..."

I'm trying not to smirk, because Vicki's expecting us both to be hideously embarrassed. And the only thing I'm embarrassed about is the fact that Vicki was there at all to see it happen. But Sharon, with a quick glance at me, begins giggling, hands over her flushed face.

"I wanna take it off. C'mon Vicki, I've got loads more to get through over here. The babydoll one..."

I smile to myself. I've been waiting on that one.

"Oh go on then!" Vicki sighs despairingly. "Just... Dennis-"

"She's right Sharon. You look amazing."

She shakes her head slightly before she turns away and disappears, pulling the curtain across.

I lean back with another contented smile. Vicki's still smirking smugly as she comes back over to me.

"She doesn't want it." I point out. 

But Vicki shrugs. "Don't care. It's the principle. And I was right."

I shake my head in disbelief. Sometimes I really don't get her. But it appears I don't really need to, because her phone begins to trill from her pocket. And as her face lights up... well, there's no prizes for guess who's calling is there?

"I'll be outside." Vicki mouths before hurrying out, the phone already pressed to her ear.

"Oh damn!" I hear Sharon curse hotly, and I'm holding back a laugh as a noise follows like her stamping her foot. That's such a Sharon thing to do. "Vicki!"

And I realise with a satisfied smirk that with Vicki immersed in some mindless conversation with Rob, at the moment, all there is, is me and Sharon. And it'd be really rude of me not to go and help her out, wouldn't it?

Slowly, I inch back the heavy curtain. "Need help?"

Sharon pretty much leaps out of her skin with fright as she catches sight of me in the mirror. But that look soons gives way to an anxious smile.

"W-Where's Vicki?"

"Rob called." I inform her, stepping round the other side of the curtain and drawing it after myself. "She's outside. Now... did you want help?"

I press my hands into her shoulders, bowing my head and kissing the blade. She reaches round and idly strokes through my hair as I let my arms drop tight around her waist, grinning affectionately at her reflection. I knew it. She looks gorgeous.

"No, you're alright. Got my hair caught in the strap like an idiot. I'm sorted now."

"Mmmm, so I can see. You look incredible you know that?"

I love how damn cute she looks at her cheeks flush pink and she gives out the softest giggle. "Guess you know me a fair bit better than Vicki eh?"

"Well-" I muse, beginning to slowly nuzzle her neck. "-that wouldn't be hard."

"I guess not. So... am I buying this or not?"

"I'll buy it if you want..."

"Yeah?" she questions, looking me quizzically in the eye as I reluctantly lift my head from against her shoulder. "And why would you wanna do that baby huh?"

"Because... then... I get a say in when you put it on, and more importantly... where you take it off..."

"Are you bribing me?"

"Now why would I do a thing like that?" I question sarcastically. Sharon writhes in my arms to face me, her covered back pressed into the cool surface of the mirror as she cases her hands around my jaw, forcing my lips fiercely down on hers. I drink in her taste, her urgency, like I'll never know it again. And I won't if Vicki comes back anytime soon, but isn't the risk factor what keeps things alive? And, oh God, I'm definitely that right now. I need her so much, running my hands all over her, feeling the fever on her body and somehow still never able to bring her close enough.

"Because you need to touch... and you know you can't."

"Still will." I say proudly, kissing her hungrily for just one more stolen breath. "You know I will."

"Exactly. You know you're not helping."

"Helping?" I challenge, letting my hand slip beneath the material of the skirt of the dress, fingers gliding eagerly across her thigh, drawn to her heat. "I can help you darlin'. You know I can do that..."

42. Sharon

How... How can he do this to me? I mean, I obviously know how. He's stood here, shamelessly working his hand between my legs, knowing how sensitive every touch makes me. He knows how bloody helpless I am cos in turn, he knows that as much as he needs me, I need him just that little bit more. And he feeds off it, stroking across my clit as he eases two fingertips inside me, helped along by how wet I readily am. And he's smug to feel it. But right now, in such a haze of lust, his arrogance can serve to do nothing but turn me on further.

I don't know whether I breathe too little or too much. I don't know anything much at all, besides how good it feels, different paces, different ferocities in his touch. And his eyes burn lustfully into mine, there's nowhere else I could look, needing so much to be drawn into the sensations of this moment.

Blinking furiously as I bite back my first sincere moan of pleasure, I realise, with a terrified lurch of my stomach, that Vicki is just outside. She could come back at any moment and yet - I can't bear to force Dennis away. So instead, I force my mouth hungrily against his, gasping my moans into his mouth, teasing his tongue.

"I love you..." I declare breathlessly between fierce and silencing kisses.

"Hmmm, I wonder why..."

"Because you... oh fuck."

Dennis just grins, pumping his fingers in and out of me just that little bit faster. I have to bite firmly into my trembling lip. Oh God, I'd give anything to cry out for him right now. But to do that means I'm giving us away and I can't do that. For the obvious reasons and the pure selfish fact that I don't want him to stop.

"I thought that might be the reason y'know... it's a good reason too." He sighs lovingly. "I've been waiting too long to touch you y'know. You can't ask me to stay away, it's not fair. I miss you..."

I absorb his whispered words with a shudder of longing, a new wave of pleasure weakening my entire body, just for a second.

"Oh my God..." I moan, as quietly as I can bear. "Dennis..."

I can feel the threat of my building orgasm inside. I want to let go, but fear still knots my stomach, my half-closed eyes, set in this dream like fever, snap reluctantly open. "Vicki could... she might-"

He nods slowly, never giving up his motion for a second. "She might do. You scared baby huh?"

"She can't.. You have to.... mmmm... you have to-"

"What? Stop?" He does so with obedient abruptness, laughing gently at my put-out glare. "You don't want me to." He slides his fingertips back inside me, stroking more fiercely with the pad of his thumb across my clit. "Do you?" 

His blazing eyes lock questioning on mine as the undeniable builds ten-fold inside my desperate body.

"No... oh God, don't... don't-" Brought back to my senses as I teeter on that blissful brink however, I groan outwardly and say; "But you have to."

"Then tell me to stop Sharon. Just say it... it's really not that hard. Tell me you don't want me to touch you..."

Whimpering in protest at such unfair words, I bite my lip and keep my silence, besides my quietened moans. I want to go over that edge, but there's no way I can.

"Dennis... stop."

And he does, just like that, this smallest sigh escaping him and yet he still manages to sound really proud of himself. He lifts his head in one certain sweep. "Do you know what I really love about you, Sharon?"

I shake my head, still trying to level my ragged breathing.

"You wanted it. And you still do. What's better is... you're not really in control of what your body needs. It just does. And right now... you need to come. Self-torture is a beautiful thing, darlin' - believe me, I'm suffering too."

"Yeah?" I question, gulping down much needed lungfuls of air. "How?"

He bites thoughtfully down into his lips and suddenly that's just ten times more sexy. It's a wonder I don't succumb to this held orgasm then and there.

"If she wasn't here.... d'you know what I'd be doing right now?"

"Something that don't involve shopping?"

He shakes his palm. "Half right. I mean, it's been pretty interesting, wouldn't you say?"

"Mmmm-"

"I'd be fucking you. Cos that's what I need. I need to fuck you... and I wouldn't have a problem with right here either. But...." He shrugs in defeat, that sexy smirk still set in the corner of his mouth as he steps back, pulling back the curtain to move back out into the corridor. "...we're already busy. Ah well... what can you do?" 

43. Dennis

"Oooh, Sharon, I love it!"

And I love how she whirls around in such a state of such as Vicki, looking about as smug as I feel right now, waltzes back into the shop, flipping down her phone and losing it in her pocket once again and nodding towards the dress draped over Sharon's arm.

"Hiya darlin'." she blusters, that tinge of pink still obvious in her face. "You alright?"

"I am fantastic!" Vicki grins, giving Sharon a briefly tight hug. "Rob wants to take me out for dinner later."

I narrow my eyes in contemplation, but have to confess; "I really can't see that y'know sis."

"See what?"

"You... being wined and dined an' all that. You sure it's punky enough?"

"Punky?" she echoes, a edge of disdain in her tone. "The word you're looking for Dennis is kooky."

I nod, smirking as I bow my head earnestly. "Course it is. What was I thinking?"

"Don't know!" she shrugs. "Don't care. Cos you know what I'm thinking, both of you?"

I think there's some kind of nervousness shimmering in Sharon's eyes as we look at each other for a second. She bites into her lip before turning expectantly to Vicki and raising the question for the both of us. "What?"

"Well, you've both met Rob right? When am I gonna meet whoever it is you're seeing? I mean, Dennis, is she bar-staff or house-keeping? And Sharon, if it's not Enrique then who-"

Sharon, God bless her, is the most rubbish liar ever. So she tries her best not to. She just skirts round the necessity as she turns away towards the cash register. That's right, it's not a till, it's a full-blown cash register. Eurgh, I hate Americanisms.

She smooths out the dress and asks; "Who says it's anyone?"

Hmmm, I suddenly find the mannequin in the corner very interesting. Are you smirking Rickman? Well, don't, you smug arse.

"Oh, so it's no-one huh?" Vicki quizzes, leaning back against the surface. "If it's no-one Sharon, then who the Hell's the dress for? And don't say yourself, cos that's such a pointless excuse. Women only dress to impress, and come off it, even Dennis can tell it's for someone, look at his face."

"Hey, I'm just stood here Vicks, don't go dragging me into it, alright?"

"Oh right yeah, so the whole you "just being stood there" has got nothing to do with the fact you don't wanna be thinking about the obviousness of the fact that this guy, whoever he is, is gonna totally be tearing it right off her again huh?"

Oh darlin' naive Vicki. It's the total, total opposite. Cos I'm that guy. And I can't wait. So completely worth paying for the pleasure. Gives me that completely desirable edge on tonight.

The salesgirl looks up. "If you'd just like to enter your PIN..."

Sharon looks down, biting coyly into her lip, and I reach round her.

"Hang on, you're paying?"

Well, no, haven't even pressed one bloody digit yet Vicks. You obviously don't understand the need for me to see Sharon in this thing. The sooner it's been, the sooner it can go. Obviously I'll spare you the imagery, but-

"Yeah?" I throw back breezily. "And?"

Through nothing but indignance, her eyes widen. "Did you see the price tag?"

You know what Vicks, I couldn't care. Cos it's gonna be worth every damn penny.

But Sharon looks up guiltily. I just shrug.

"That's the beauty of plastic, Vicki. You don't have to see, you just have." 

"Which is precisely why we're never letting you have a credit card darlin'." Sharon tells her pointedly. 

Vicki just huffs. "That's easy for you to say, you've got Dennis shelling out! How did you do that?"

You don't wanna know.

"Vicki, it's a... what's the word... you know when you give someone cos you want to, not cos you want summat on top?" I tease sarcastically as the transactions hums happily through. "Oh yeah... a present!"

"Then I want one too!"

"Uh, I don't think so!" I splutter.

"Well why not?" she demands, not far off stamping her foot. "Do you love Sharon more or something?"

"Oh yeah, this is all about me not loving you and has absolutely nothing to do with the fact I can't stand shopping! You ever thought I just wanted to hurry her up?"

I glance over at Sharon, who, unsurprisingly enough, can't bring herself to look back at me from underneath those thick eyelashes. Instead, she looks over at Vicki, an almost sympathetic look upon her face. And that's rich, seeing as she's just bagged the €225 dress at my expense (and anticipation!)

"It was pretty mean to make him come..." she points out gently. But as I slide my card back into my wallet, I can't help but snort out a laugh. Because there's just one unspeakable thought resounding in my head. You mean it was mean of me to not make you come.

"Here." I say to Sharon, forcing the bag into her hand before staring hard at Vicki. "Take it before she burns it."

Vicki's lips twist even further. She has got one mean scowl on her when she wants. "You're such a bastard." she hisses scornfully as she turns and flounces out the shop. I knew she would. She's so predictable, it would be funny, if it wasn't so bloody expensive.

"Oh I am, am I?" I call as me and Sharon follow her out onto the buzzing and sun-drenched street. "Well..." I sigh. "...if I'm such a bastard then I guess you won't want... this..."

I rattle the second bag and she stops like a cat listening out for the bloody kittie biscuits before turning round. Seeing the bag, she bounds over and almost tears the bag as she wrenches it open to rifle inside. "What is it? What is it?" 

But there's no point me telling her because she's gonna have torn the bag up before I've got the bloody words out.

"Oh my God, the bag."

Shrieking happily, she's like, hugging this handbag in the middle of the street. I'm actually scared. I mean, I caught her proper swooning over it. God knows why, I mean, it's a bag and it's not like she hasn't got enough. Accessories are to Vicki as shoes are to Sharon. But I figured my little sister deserved something, maybe even just as an innocent thank you for the time I got to spend with Sharon.

"It's gorgeous!" she cries, rushing over and throwing her arms round my neck. "Thank you... you are the best big brother ever! What can I... I'm gonna buy you a present too!"

I just look at her knowingly. "No you're not. And I don't want you to, because I do not wanna have to keep on shopping! I know that's what you mean and bloody Hell, Vicki, I'm going mental here!"

She rolls her eyes despairingly and strides off a few paces like she's gone up a catwalk with this bag hoiked up on her shoulder.

Sharon steps in beside her, gently working her fingers through mine as our closeness conceals the intimate tangle of our hands. I turn my head a little way to look into her sun-kissed face, and you know what, she still looks a little flushed. I'm surprised Vicki hasn't asked her if she feels woozy or anything. And she probably does - just never in the way Vicki would be thinking.

"I don't think you're gonna get away with it darlin'. And you know what... if Vicki's going to... then I wanna buy you a present too..."

Groaning gently, I tilt my head back into the warmth of the sun. "Oh Sharon, no. Seriously, is this just cos of the dress cos if it is-"

Carefully, she drops my hand before Vicki might turn around and see. Not that she would turn around, too absorbed in her own strutting.

"Don't worry Dennis..." she assures me sweetly, her glossy lips curving into a smile as she pulls her sunnies out of her bag. "...I'll let you unwrap it later. Vicki, hang on!"

44. Sharon

"Owww..." I groan, flopping down onto one of the seats around the little table. Vicki smiles weakly, apparantly feeling my pain as she drops her bags, kicking them under the table and easing off her shoes before she turns to pad innocently barefoot into the coffee shop.

Dennis, the bastard, just rolls his eyes. "You two are pathetic."

I glare at him as I rest my foot against my knee, pulling off each shoe and tenderly rubbing my poor affected toes. "Until you can walk across a whole bloody town in these shoes darlin', you can shut the fuck up."

He shakes his head disbelievingly as he smirks. "No-one said you had to go across town-" he says, looking pointedly at Vicki, who just shrugs like she is clueless, before throwing her arms around Dennis' neck and nestling into his shoulder. He smiles as he registers her closeness, and without turning his head, tenderly begins to stroke up her bronzed arm. It's such a cute image, I'm almost jealous.

"You make it sound like you don't want us to spoil you." Vicki teases.

"It's shock more than anything sis, I'm lucky to get a coffee outta you."

She laughs, kissing his cheek as she draws back. "I'm on it. Sharon, want anything?"

"Anything iced darlin'." I tell her in a defeated huff. "I can't take this heat, I swear."

Dennis leans forward, concern flitting across his face whicj I know is not meant because what Vicki can't see is the smirk curving his lips. "You're not burning up again are you?"

I promptly kick him under the table and as Vicki falls back mid-step to scrutinise me, tell him certainly; "No."

Vicki seems to breathe a sigh of relief and heads inside. Under the table, I cautiously seek out Dennis' hand, unfolding it and letting my fingers drop tight through his.

"You're such a bastard."

He blinks in surprise. "Hmmm, and you know what? I love you too."

"That's such a cheap shot."

"Yeah well, it's me getting you back for dragging me halfway around town. I don't do this, Sharon. I mean, how many times have I headed off down Camden Market with Vicki... or Bond Street with you eh?"

"You did at Christmas." I point out smugly. "You never shut up complaining though, you did my head in."

"Yeah well, that was before-"

I understand the way he looks at me completely and quickly find that I'm smirking too. "-before you found ways to entertain yourself?"

"Oh you can shut up, you loved it."

I can feel my cheeks flame. God, maybe I am burning up. No Sharon, no. Compose yourself.

"I love the dress too. Thank you darlin'."

As he smiles, I straighten up, leaning in to innocently kiss his cheek. He bows his head against my ear so that we are closer. "My pleasure... at least it will be..."

"Oooh, listen to him!" I tease as I draw back from him, already missing his warmth. But I occupy myself with not only clasping his hand but also circling my barefoot around the edge of one of the bags, deliberately making it rattle.

"What are you doing?" Dennis laughs, leaning down to peek under the table.

"That one..." I whisper. "...is your present."

"Yeah, so what is it?"

Like he doesn't know. It all worked out really, perfectly innocently. Vicki's good for upholding that kinda charade. Cos her big brother's hardly likely to wanna go in with her to the kinda store that would involve her rattling through rails of perfectly laced negilées and camsioles, imagining Rob's face. Dennis just can't accept that his little sister isn't really gonna be that forever in mind, never mind in body. She has the sense to try and use it. And if Dennis is hiding out on the street someplace, watching the world go by as he edgily smokes his way through the dozen cigarettes he's needed since, ever, then I have plenty of time to muse, without suspicion from anyone.

After all, we all know I'm seeing someone right? Vicki don't need to know anymore than that right now.

She knows what I chose though, and was certainly justified in telling me that "This guy's gonna think it's his birthday!" 

I walked out of there feeling so damn good as I lazily swung the bag. The sun poured down and warmed my skin and I began to tingle excitedly. Mmmm, tonight is gonna be so good.

And when we caught sight of Dennis, with the sense to have moved several shop-fronts away, he had been just about to spark up another cigarette, pulling it from his lips and calling; "About bloody time!"

"Why, were you missing us?" Vicki teased.

He just rolled his eyes, waving the unlit cigarette. "This is my fifth fag, Vicks, and it takes me ten minutes to get through one!"

"Oh shut up complaining eh? We can't keep all the men in our lives happy. Still, two out of three ain't bad eh Sharon?"

I'd had to bite into my lip to stop myself laughing as Dennis looked privately over at me. Cos we both know there is no third. Instead, I'd cast my gaze down to the bag knowing that his was following before I'd moved past to go to Vicki. He definitely knows what he's in for.

Unless of course I shoulda bought him cufflinks?

But by the look in his eyes as he awaits my response, I'm guessing not as I toy idly with his hand.

"Guess that's for me to know..."

"Tease."

I smile proudly. "You know you love me for it."

He doesn't say anything. He just looks at me with those shimmering eyes and my God, that alone is enough to make me burn. I don't think I've ever known anyone so... sexy. It's hardly any wonder no-one on the Square could resist. Nope, won't think on that. I won't. He's mine now.

But I can't revel in that thought for long because Vicki suddenly just reappears, setting down drinks on the table. She's adorable really, because the collection's not hard to divide. The coffee's definitely for Dennis, the iced tea's for me, and, God bless her, the two foot high strawberry milkshake with scoops of ice-cream melting in the top is definitely her's. She's such a kid.

The sheer icyness of my drink, although requested, makes me wince as it hits my teeth. But then I begin to taste it, overly sweet and... gorgeous.

"What is this, Vicki?"

"Passion fruit apparantly. Any good?"

"Mmmm, definitely."

"Right-" she declares after a few long sips through an even longer straw. "-while I remember Sharon, I got you a present too-"

"Oh?"

Dennis laughs gently. "I haven't had mine yet."

"Patience brother dear." Vicki tells him sarcastically, making me laugh in spite of myself. "I only got yours today, I got Sharon's practically as soon as we got here and I keep forgetting to give it to her. Here..."

She presses a slender and shallow box onto the table, pushing it across. I lean over and take it, tweezing it open. The sunlight bounces off the charms dangling from a beautiful silver anklet. Eyes narrowed against the intrusion of the light, I pick out dolphins, seashorses and starfish. Bless her, it's so cute.

"Awww, Vicki..."

"D'you like it? I thought we should make the most of you having no choice but to get your legs out..."

I splutter on a laugh, catching sight of Dennis smirking in agreement into his coffee.

I push my chair back and move round to Vicki. She doesn't get up, and I stand behind her, sliding my arms around her bronzed shoulders, nestling down like she did with Dennis as I hug her tight.

"Thank you sweetheart, I love it."

Vicki grins, but her attention is stolen by Dennis putting down his cup and pulling his phone from his back pocket. "Dennis, what are you doing?"

He doesn't say anything, just lifts it up and presses the obvious button. And if it wasn't for the sunlight already pouring down, I'd have been blinded by the flash.

"Cute." he observes with a slight nod, before putting the phone down and pushing it across for me and Vicki to have a look. 

Vicki laughs. "I look drunk."

"You are practically."

"Uh, speak for yourself!" she huffs indignantly, shrugging me playfully off. "You gonna put the anklet on then?"

"Yeah, why not?" I smile as I sit back down. I carefully pull the thin silver chain from the cushion and lean down to hook into round my ankle from beneath the table. I get nowhere however, cursing everytime I realise the clasp hasn't fastened.

Dennis laughs, tutting quietly at my inability. "Oh bloody hell, c'mere..." he says, leaning down to cage my ankle and lifting my foot up into his lap. Vicki doesn't seem fazed at all, just giggles, causing bubbles in the pink milk as she slurps happily at it through the straw. So of course, she doesn't see how the pad of Dennis'  thumb strokes teasingly at the side of my ankle, how he looks fleetingly at me, waiting for me to giggle. I bite it back as hard as I can. Bastard, he knows how sensitive I am there.

Why couldn't it have just been a bracelet? I'd have been fine then!

No such luck. Cos it even tickles as his fingertips innocently trail the anklet round. Once it is fastened, he cups my heel to carefully swing it from his lap. And smugly as he straightens up and sips at his coffee, he says; "There. Wasn't that hard was it?"    

45. Dennis

We got back to the hotel and Sharon went off, still rattling that bag, just to tease me I swear. Vicki promised to leave my present in my room on her way up to her own with all the bags and shoes weighing her down so helplessly. I just headed straight to the bar, figuring I deserved the alcohol seeing as I saved these two from drinking themsleves stupid on sun loungers. But that wasn't before I had a quiet and almost completely unnoticed word against Sharon's ear, pleading with her to not keep me waiting past six. She didn't say a word, just smiled that innocent smile that so isn't innocent if you're looking at her like I do, and sailed off.

I honestly don't know how many hours I wasted, I was only watching the clock to search out six o'clock. The hours crawled around and I tried so hard to pace myself, toying lazily with the same glass for God knows how long, cos I can't bear the idea that I'll be drunk. Oh no, need to be sober, to feel every second of this. One whole day of going round and not being able to touch Sharon like I need to and I'm practically dying. But til such time that I can dare to remind myself I am in fact very much alive, and why, I don't know any other way to pass the time. And bloody Hell, how is it going so slow?

I barely noticed as Freya appeared. She looks a lot different outta uniform, if that's what you can a tight white shirt that barely covers her boobs. I dunno, somehow she looks more innocent, even though it's obvious she's not, dark hair all swept up from her shoulders, pins shining from within it, her painted lips sparkling so much it's more like a glare. I blink politely, turning to face her.

Mmmm, she's cute and she probably knows it. But you know what they say about what gentlemen prefer...

Still, I sit and I talk with her as she sits there, one long leg crossed over the other. She must think I can't read her, but I so can. The way she keeps leaning that little way forward, laughing so gently, twisting loose strands of her hair around her fingertip. Sharon does that and I think I might just adore it, or at least I would if, in Sharon's case, it didn't usually mean she's insanely worried about something. She don't really seem to use that technique like other women do, and I love that too. She could never really be like "other women" and I should know. I've had enough to know what sets her apart.

And better, to know that as hard as she tries without wanting to seem obvious, I'm so not interested in Freya. I mean, she's gorgeous, cocoa coloured skin and big, bright eyes that never give up that glimmer, her accent thick and sexy and I have no doubt I'd be out of my mind to not want her as much as it's obvious every other guy in the vicinity does. But I know, with a smug smirk an' all, that I have someone so much better.

Still, with nothing else to occupy me, I keep talking. And she keeps probing, murmuring questions about my wife, girlfriend, whatever. I just keep casting my eyes down into my glass as a smirk curves my lips and say nothing as I look at her. She can think what the Hell she likes, cos as of six o'clock, I'm unavailable. She doesn't seem to have a problem with drawing her own conclusions. She's such a blatant flirt, it's almost painful. And if I could, I'd put her out her misery and tell her how blissfully involved I am with Sharon. But yeah, slight issue of the family holiday there. So I have to sit there, trying not to make it obvious that I've got one eye on the clock the whole time, and take it all in without a word.

Somehow, I don't know how, that seemed to spur her on and I was almost at cringing I swear. She's lovely, really, but no way do I want her. I have plans... very expensive ones but God, how amazing is Sharon gonna look for it?

I bolt up in surprise as I realise that it's five past six. Five whole minutes past six, and my phone hasn't gone off once. I'd have thought I coulda expected several phone calls from Sharon by now, just to tease me - blow me out because she can't find her other shoe or she can't do her necklace up on her own. Personally I was kinda hoping I'd hear something like "I haven't washed my hair yet-" because I'm pretty sure I have ways of persuading her into the shower...

Cutting across Freya, I pull my phone out, just to check. She leans forward expectantly and I suddenly click she thinks I'm about to ask for her number or something. Sorry love...

"Have to go." I gabble carelessly as I push myself up, dropping a Euro note on the bar and totally not having the capacity to care for her disgruntled look. "Night..."

And I leave the bar without so much as a backward glance, but I can pretty much feel the evils burning into my back. Not that I care. I just go right through the foyer, not stopping til I've called every lift. I start impatiently tapping my foot almost immediately but it's fruitless, cos the doors of the far left lift ping obediently open. I swear, I'm stabbing the button to the sixth floor before I'm even in.

For all the ride up, I'm staring down at my phone, smiling privately at the background image of Sharon & Vicki outside the coffee shop this afternoon. I feel the slightest pang of guilt. They looked so adorable, I couldn't help but take it. It was like I felt really proud of them, sisters together. But not mine eh? Because I'm totally blowing that one out the water. And what... what if I'm just messing with something that really is precious?

That thought however is still not enough to stop me going up the corridor of the sixth floor and slowing up outside 641.

I pull in a breath and tentatively raise my knuckles to the door. "Sharon?"

Silence. But I needn't bother to knock again because the door swings obediently open at my touch. She definitely knew I'd be coming then.

I walk steadily inside, closing the door after me with a certain click. I love the feeling I get at knowing we're alone. It's like I can really relax. Well, at least I could if she'd called me.

"Sharon?" I call again, trying to tell myself that panic isn't swirling quite so readily inside.

But then I see her, this sleeping ball beneath the covers on her bed. She curls up proper fetal she does, it's so cute. But is she really sleeping? I mean, she's never managed to sleep all that deep, she's a bloody insomniac. Maybe it's the alcohol from this morning catching up with her. Right?

My steps are quicker as I move around the bed and lower myself carefully down on the edge so as not to disturb her. But I can't help but reach out to touch her, so tenderly, wincing as I registers how her skin burns beneath my touch. Her eyelids flicker immediately, and she writhes in this sleepy state.

"Oh darlin'..."

"What?" she murmurs, blinking innocently as she smiles gently up at me, scooching into the pillow.

"You're not well..."

What is this? Karma? Us pretending she had bloody food poisoning just to keep Vicki at arm's length and now, my poor darlin' is actually ill. Great call.

"I'm fine." she assures me in a whisper. But I'm not buying it, however much I'd want to, shaking my head as I stroke her hair, matted with sweat away from her face.

"Baby, you're burning up... really."

She closes her eyes. "I'm not. I'm..."

"You should see a doctor..."

But she's not hearing it, shakes her head listlessly against the pillow as she reaches to slide her fingers through mine as they stroke down her cheek. "I want to see you."

"I'm here. Not going anywhere. Unless... please darlin', just let me call Vicks, tell her I've taken you to the doct-"

I glance down at my phone still clenched in my fist, but Sharon lurches for it.

"Please Dennis, don't."

I sigh desperately. Why can I not say no to her? I toss my phone carelessly across the bed gently swing her hand. "What d'you want me to do then?"

Smiling weakly, she pulls herself halfway up and pulls back the edge of the duvet, pressing it into my now vacant hand. Bemused, I stand up, pulling it back with me. And it reveals her, all curled up there in that perfect ivory dress, feet tucked up beneath her. So nearly ready for this and then she got so ill. And yet, she still looks beautiful. She lets her head loll to the side and she looks at me with those perfectly made-up sparkling eyes, murmuring;

"Just hold me. I'll be alright in a minute."

In that one moment, I love her so much I just can't explain it. She's perfect, it's all I want to protect her, to make her better. And if that's how she wants it then, so be it. I smile warmly, kicking my trainers beneath the bed and swinging my legs up to nestle down beside her. She murmurs contently as my arms surround her, somehow appreciating the warmth even within this apparant fever. Her eyes close willingly and she almost looks peaceful. So I settle down to watch her, captivated by her as she curls up in my arms. And that, the fact she might need me like that, is just as real as the fact she's not gonna be better in a minute - however much we both want it.

I sigh gently, kissing her feverish crown. But never mind. I'll take care of her.

46. Sharon

I snuggle down into his arms, closing my eyes for a second just to savour the perfection that is this moment. It's so innocent, but so not. I mean, if Vicki walked in right now, we'd be so for it. No bloody fever can explain my need to lie here. And I need it so much, because it feels so right, just to have him hold me, to know he won't let go until I make him. And right now that's going to be never. I lie there, my body burning up on the inside in the cruellest of ways. Damn it, why did it have to be now? And how did it just happen like that? I was running a bath when suddenly I felt faint and it was as though my head had been split open by pain all at once. I almost fell over. 

I figured it was just a headache and stubbornly drained the bath and got dressed instead. I don't know why because I kinda wanted the bath, the chance to relax, but there's relaxation and then there's drowning and the latter certainly wasn't preferable when I considered what I was hoping for as soon as Dennis arrived here tonight. We've been teasing each other all day, we need each other. 

And yet, I was so blinded by the pain of this headache come raging migraine that I practically collapsed on the bed, feeling lucky to fall against the mattress and not miss completely as I crawled miserably under the covers. I certainly didn't need the built temperature they would offer with my own body heat, but I just wanted to hide away, beginning to cry not just with the pain, but the unfairness of knowing this so unanticipated night was ruined, feeling my perfectly applied make-up go the same way as my tears burnt in my eyes. 

I was so nearly asleep and away from the pain as Dennis had reached out, perhaps not knowing whether he should have touched me but needing to do it anyway. And the waves of pain were so worth it, just to see him there, looking at me like only he does. And I want so much to be well, to deliver on everything we have wordlessly promised one another. And having him hold me, so naturally as I scooch my head into the pillow admiring his beautiful face, so alive with love and concern, I can't help but need to keep my eyes wide open, needing to drink in every detail because he is just... mesmerising.

"Please Sharon..." he murmurs gently, obviously realising how volume affects me, making me wince. "...let me get you something... anything."

I shake my head, which wasn't the best idea give how stiff my neck is. "I want you here... with me... ow!"

"I hate seeing you like this."

I smile softly, adoring him just that little bit more as I rub gingerly at my searing neck. "It's just a migraine baby, I'll be fine, really."

"No you won't." he counters immediately. "You don't know that's what it is. Vicki's right, you could have sunstroke or something!"

"Mmmm-mmm. I haven't been sick."

"Oh come off it, you know that don't mean anything. You could be really ill and if anything happened to you, I dunno what-"

"Shhh." I soothe. straightening my back out enough to brush his lips. "I'm fine, I promise. You're here, aren't you?"

"Yeah, for all the good it's doing you-"

"Oh it is." I assure him. "I like it like this... me and you, migraine or not." He raises a doubtful eyebrow but I stand my ground. "Dennis, when have we been out of bed long enough for me to get sunstroke huh?"

And I love how Dennis can't help but smirk as he considers it. He bows his head, his lips tenderly brushing across my shoulder, making my skin tingle gratefully. "Guess I just want what's best for you..."

"Well don't." I advise in a pained whimper. "It's not fair."

"Why not?" he questions dubiously.

I bite miserably into my lip. "Because I want you so much that that's practically hurting as much as everything else."

"Well don't let it. I'm not going anywhere..."

But his gaze travels across my face and he bites into the smallest sigh before getting up. I go rigid in protest and flames of pain shoot all through my entire body. He disappears into the bathroom and reappears moments later, although they alone felt too long, with a glass of water in one hand and a packet of tablets in the other, and let me tell ya, they didn't come compliments of this place. I always get edgy before I leave the country, carry more in medications than I do in actual luggage I swear, so damn certain I'm about to get struck down by every damn thing going.

Groaning, I pull myself into a sitting position, certainly not appreciating the rush of blood to the head, even if as I take the glass, it does feel deliciously cool on my skin.

It kinda hurts to sip though, the instinct to swallow totally not present in my throat.

"What are they?" I ask, nodding towards the packet in his hand as he settles down on the edge of the bed.

"Strong enough to knock out a horse by the dosage on them. Co-codomal darlin'."

"Hmmm... give 'em here then!" I lay out my palm and he pulls out the flap, popping two of the large round tablets from the foil and into his hand before passing them to me. "I hate taking tablets..."

"Well, that's what the water's for. To force 'em down."

But I just shake my head, wincing again at the pain in my neck. "I can't do it like that. I just can't."

He stares down at the tablets, shivering omniously in my palm and sighs gently, taking the glass from my hand. "OK. One at a time then?"

"OK..." I obediently put the first tablet in my mouth, hating how it starts to dissolve its powdery taste all over my tongue immediately. I force my eyes shut in protest and the next thing I'm aware of are Dennis' willing lips pressed firmly to mine. And I'm so surprised, even as his hands gently case my aching jaw to bring about a reaction, I swallow the first tablet down. Ha, first time I've ever been kissed for that kinda reaction.

"Gone?" he questions as he pulls back.

"Mmmm-hmmm. Still got the other one to go though." I point out, uncurling my palm.

"I'm sure we'll manage it."

I smile weakly. "I'm sorry baby, I dunno what's wrong with me."

"Yeah, and that's what's worrying me."

"You look gorgeous when you worry." I tease, throwing the second tablet to the back of my throat, trying not to choke on the foul taste.

He just smirks and reaches out to me again, murmuring "C'mere..." as he brushes my lips, the tablet obediently sliding down.

"It's gone." I inform him gently, just needing to take the opportunity to press his lips again. "Thank you."

"Ah, don't thank me til they've kicked in eh?"

"When's that?"

"Ten minutes according to the packet."

Crawling the tiny way from beneath the confines of the heavy duvet, I slide my stiff arms around him, nestling into his form. "We best start counting."

"Why?" he laughs softly as he willingly holds me, bowing his head to kiss my crown. "What have you got planned?"

"Like you didn't know."

"Will you stop? You're not well. I just want you-"

"Mmm!" I whimper, deliberately cutting him off as I snuggle down. "Me an' all."

"I just want you to get better." 

"I am better!" I insist fruitlessly. But if course, Dennis doesn't buy it because of how I wince at shaking my head. "I am... I'm... owww!"

I'm practically crying.

My bloody neck.

"Oh Sharon..." he whispers sadly, kissing the bare of my neck and feeling the tension of my muscles against his lips. 

So he straightens up and pulls away, letting his hands replace his lips, pulling me gently to face away from him so he can work at my shoulders. I moan in quiet appreciation but he doesn't quite understand it in the way it's meant and stops, just for a second and I miss his touch so much.

"Did that hurt?"

"No. But it was definitely something."

"Helping?"

"Mmmm, I think so." I say dreamily.

And softly, he carries on, working out my tensions gradually with the soothing movement of his hands across my neck and shoulders. It feels so good.

"No wonder you're in pain darlin', you're in knots."

"Yeah, and it feels like it. At least it did, Where d'you learn to touch anyone like this?"

He laughs and even though my eyes are closed contently, I know I can see the smirk that's no doubt curving his lips. He leans carefully in against my back so as not to cause me anymore pain and murmurs against my ear, his hands never still; "Not anyone, Sharon. Just you. Now relax." 

47. Dennis

She did. Pretty well. She wasn't so tense and I'm sure her skin wasn't burning quite so much. Or maybe I just got used to her heat. But whatever, I hated seeing her suffer, woulda done anything that came into my head to make it better. Apparantly I chose well, because as the ten minutes elapsed, she straightened up without a wince of pain, even as she turned her head to murmur that she felt so much better.

I leant forward and kissed her softly. "You should probably go back to sleep..."

"But you're here now."

"Then I'll go."

"But I don't want you to." she protests, shifting onto her hip to face me as she presses my hand into the bed. "Please baby. I mean, I got dressed. I wanted us to do something together tonight."

Oh God, I adore her. I never knew it was possible for someone to be such the perfect mix of unbelievably sexy and cute. And yet, I have to shake my head, refuse her.

"You're not well..."

"Stop it!" she pleads, pouting childishly as she pushes herself up onto her knees and wraps her arms around my neck. "I didn't make you spend over £100 on this dress just so I could lie around complaining my head hurts!"

I smile in spite of myself. I also love how damn stubborn she is. My arms laced around her waist, I let them slide down over her hips, stroking at the material covering her body. "Hmmm, yeah, about the dress..."

"I'm not taking it off Dennis, not til we've gone out."

I laugh gently. "What is it with you and public exhibitions eh?"

Pretending to gasp in horror, Sharon whacks me playfully across the shoulder, to reprimand me. I expect false scolding words, but nothing like it comes. Instead, she's fiercely pressing my lips, invoking the reaction of my kiss in the need to drink in her taste.

"I love you."

"So let me take care of you..."

"No! I just... c'mon, we're wasting a whole evening here. Can't we just... go for a walk along the beach? Fresh air would do me good wouldn't it?"

"Well, yeah..." I agree reluctantly. Sharon smiles wickedly, that flare in her eyes recognising how I am weakened.

"And I promise, I'll hold your hand like a good girl. I won't let go, so if I faint or anything..."

I blink, my hold around her tightening in alarm. "You're not gonna... are you?"

She giggles gently. "Oh God Dennis, you're adorable. I'm fine, really. Just please... get me out of here." She scrambles off the bed, holding both my hands to pull me up with her. As I stand there, she stretches up on her pretty painted toes to brush my mouth before dropping back to go and pull on her shoes. I watch her move the few steps, captivated by the way the charms jangle against her ankle. I just... I love it. 

I love her so bloody much. I think I'm scared. But maybe that's only because she's ill and as much as I feel for her, I can't make her better, though she seems to think I can. Well, between me and another walk along the beach. And I definitely ain't letting her let go of my hand, not after the fainting quip, so we best hope we don't go bumping into Vicki and Rob on the water's edge this time eh?

I lead her by the hand down the corridor, calling the lift. But she resists my hold with an "Oooh!" of apparant rememberance.

"Hey, hey!" I protest, holding fast. "Where'd you think you're going?"

"You don't seriously want me to go out like this do you? Dennis, look at my hair. No, don't... don't!"

"Sharon..." I assure her, pulling her in towards me and forcing her with my own stride to walk into the lift. "...there is nothing wrong with your hair. Your temperature maybe, but you look amazing."

"You know what I love you for?" she beams up at me, arms around me.

I feign hurt. "You mean it's just one thing?"

She just smirks teasingly. "I love you cos you always know what to say. I always feel better around you." Then she gives me an odd sideways look and quickly asks; "Have I ever said that before?"

I grin, shake my head. "Nope. Always too busy giving me dirty looks and disapproving in my choice of women."

"Yeah well, the latest one's alright I suppose."

"Are you kidding? She's the best."

"Oooh, well, best keep talking then eh?"

"Nah. Talking's over-rated..."

"So what do you suggest instead?"

I know in the way her eyes are sparkling as they do, she knows my suggestion before I could speak it, so why bother? I don't, instead just offer it down my kissing her, the pads of my thumbs travelling tenderly across her feverish face. Oh God, she should so be in bed. And I can't bring my mouth away from hers, because I love how she hasn't pushed me back, or hissed in a giggle how likely it is that some strangers gonna have called the lift to a lower floor and work us out. Right now, she doesn't seem to care so maybe a little fever's good.

I love how she dissolves into giggles, stumbling into the foyer, the two of us only having sprung apart because we've reached ground. Maybe we shoulda just stayed there, going from the top floor to ground and back, kissing til we were caught. But nah, I don't really want that. Cos I have to walk through reception and concierge, Sharon a pace in front, pretending I don't want her, that I'm not dying to put my arms around her, to prove I love her, how much I want to protect her - and I know that as soon as we're out of here, I can do that. It can be just us, no pretending.

We're at the end of the avenue, practically on the dusky sands of the beach when Sharon, having pulled off her shoes. reaches out to me. I pull her close, and swinging her shoes lazily from one hand, she nestles against me contently as we walk. We do so silently for a while, the warmth and colours of the descending night saying everything we might need to. We have wandered aimlessly to the water's edge and Sharon, closer to it, daringly dips her toes into the frothy surf, shivering in surprise as it washes over her.

"Sure you don't wanna go in there?" I murmur teasingly. "You could probably do with it!"

"Yeah!" she scoffs, rolling her eyes immediately. "About as much as I could with you having to relieve yourself over my leg afterwards!"

I can't help but burst out laughing. "You're disgusting!"

"No I'm not. I'm just... too... warm!"

The words are coming out weaker and weaker until, her eyes practically closed, she staggers forward and I have to catch her before her knees go completely.

"Whoa, Sharon... are you OK? It's alright, I've got you..."

Cheeks flaming with probable embarrassment as well as heat, Sharon clings to me as she anchors her weight through both her feet again.

"What was that?" she questions, sounding more frightened with each shallow breath she manages to bring in to deliver the words.

"I don't know." I return honestly. "I think you kinda... blacked out for a second. Look, we really should go back, this isn't right..."

But she shakes her head fiercely, stroking back her hair as it falls around her face. "No. No, I don't want to. Please don't-"

"How are you feeling? Besides the temperature, honestly?"

"I swear... this is just a migraine. I get 'em bad." She smiles apologetically. "I'm sorry."

"Oh God-" I murmur dismissively wrapping my arms tight around her. "-it's not your fault darlin'."

Sharon laughs weakly. "But it's not yours either and I... I've really missed you."

"How d'you manage that? I've been with you all day."

"What? Playing at brothers and sisters? No. No, that's not enough and you know it."

I can barely manage a smile as I release her. I kinda want to just carry her in my arms, to know that she'll be OK, but I can't do that, can I? So instead, the weather suddenly deciding to reflect Sharon's disposition, I lead her from the beach as fat raindrops begin to fleck the sand. She tries to resist my lead, knowing where I'm taking her and knowing more that she doesn't want to go, but she's not strong enough, especially not with God knows what kinda evils raging inside her. But for every second that passes, more and more rain seems to be coming down, as if from nowhere. Summer storm. Great, just what we needed eh?

But Sharon seems to revel in it, tilting her head back against this sudden pelt of cool rain, letting the droplets soothe her face, as more and more slide easily down her body - her back and shoulders, the material of the dress. And it's only watching how that begins to cling so rapidly to her that I realise how drenched I am also becoming just being stood here and I shiver involuntarily before pulling fiercely on her hand again.

"Sharon, c'mon!"

But she just grins naughtily and pulls back from my hand and with a swing of her shoes, declares; "I'll race you!"

I look at her ludicrously. "What?"

But she's already gone, shrieking and laughing at feeling the rain drench her through as she races across the street. In bare feet no less, kicking through puddles and the streams that are racing down the gutters. And for a second, it's all I can do to watch. She has actually lost it. And she's still incredible. Even though her hair has separated with the weight of all the rain and it hangs around her face like rat tails. Even though the pale material of her dress is by now nothing short of see-through, she's still there like some drunk teenager, spinning round in the rain, just to feel it on her skin. 

When she realises I'm still just stood there, looking at her quite honestly as if she is crazy, she shakes her head in disbelief and with a quick look up and down the road, rushes back over to me, grappling for my hands to pull me across.

"What are you so scared of?" she calls over the thundering rain.

"You ending up in hospital!" I return with an anxious laugh.

"Are you joking? I feel great! C'mon... can't you feel this?" Without complaint as to any pain in her neck, she glances pointedly around because of course, it's coming down so thick and fast, you can't hope to register anything but the rain.

"Yeah, I can and it's bloody freezing."

"Exactly!" she beams before reasserting; "I feel great!" as a result.

"Yeah, well you won't when you wake up with pneumonia in the morning."

She rolls her eyes, the make-up that was once so perfect so fantastically ruined in the downpour and oh, how I love that she just doesn't care. "Will you shut up and live a little? C'mon!"

Pulling on my hand, she darts back across the street, around the side of a shut-up café. Succumbing to the need to shiver, she crashes up against the locked side door and we shelter there in the archway. I hear this wet thud and look down. Sharon's just thrown her shoes down, so I dare to hope she's going to put them back on and then we're gonna make a run for it. But before that thought is even properly formed, I realise she simply wanted to free up both hands as they case my jaw and she forces her mouth fiercely over mine, sucking hungrily at my bottom lip to impart both so she can thrust her tongue inside. And I'm so taken in by her passion, her closeness and her taste, it's my instinct to pull her closer, to taste her deeper, kiss her harder, somehow loving her helpessly her dress is molded to her form, how raindrops seem to melt into her bare skin as they slide from her shoulders over her breasts, or down her arms. She is perfect. And I just need to touch her.

Her own caresses are frenzied and that just draws me in further, me wanting to know everything she needs me to. But there is still that one sobering thought that makes me break momentarily off, completely affected by the way she gasps in breathless protest at this severence. 

Because this isn't just a kiss. I know her and more, I know us. This is so about to become so much more and I mean, here? In this?

"Sharon..." I begin reasoning, stroking away the raindrops that have caught her face. "...you're not well baby. You've got a fever... you shouldn't be out here in this - it's crazy."

But her beautiful eyes flare with daring, her glossy lip curved in a satisfied smirk as she gently shakes her head. ""No, it isn't. I want you. It's only fair I get to have you!"

48. Sharon

I love how he looks back at me as I stare long and lustfully at him. He wants so much to be the better man, to take my hand and force me back, to lead me off to someplace... dry. Y'know, where it's not likely I'll get really feverish and starting sneezing within the next half-hour. He wants to have the will inside him so much. But just not as much as he knows I want him. And I love how weak I know him to be in the face of such temptation. I know I'll have him... because he's mine.

I reach up, lovingly cupping his face in my palms as I hungrily bruise his mouth. His kiss comes back just as hard, as urgent and I drink in the delicious taste of knowing I'll win. Cos it's not just fever that makes a body flame. Want, need does it just as well and God, it feels incredible. The lash of the cool rain droplets is relentless and I'm glad. I don't want it to leave. I want it to keep coming down, melting away on my willing flesh. Just the rhythm of it, coupled with Dennis' fierce kiss, by now having left my eager lips and swept eagerly over the slope of my neck, brings me alive, my every nerve ending on fire, needing to know the depth of every touch.

As I caress the back of Dennis' neck, encouraging the work of his mouth upon me, he flinches in surprise at my touch and inadvertently bites into my neck. I gasp in the pleasure that this shock of pain creates inside me. I don't want him to stop, but as the same time, I want so much that I guess he has to. I love how he swirls the tip of his tongue soothingly around what would otherwise have been a very obvious mark had it been left alone.

"I'm sorry baby." he murmurs sincerely, moving back barely half a step and drawing me with him, our anxious bodies pressed together, creating the most frustrating and yet equally desirable friction between us.

"Don't be." I insist, my voice husky from the amount of air I'm not breathing. I daren't. I just want him.

Catching his hand in mine, I guide it down, pressing it pointedly into my thigh. He smiles knowingly and lets his hand travel up through the sodden material of my dress, stroking higher and softer, smirking in satisfaction as he feels how damp my inner thigh is. Steadily, he moves across, his palm cupped beneath my exposed heat, never actually touching. I moan at the unfairness, and I know he understands how close I am to begging for his touch. I know too how much he loves it, which is precisely why he does not touch at all, carefully letting his hand drop from beneath the material. There's no doubting now what I need - what he has to give.

"My God-" he breathes distractedly, his body covering mine like a blanket as I, at his gentle force, brace myself against the door. "-you're amazing..."

I want to raise a proud smile, let him see how glad I am to answer to such a charge, but he steals away my opportunity as his lips crash to mine, each collision harder and needing more of my reaction, my taste as his tongue roams in my mouth, withdrawing only for the tip to stimulate my tingling lips.

He's sending me crazy with such passionate torture when, his mouth still as close and insistent as ever, his hands drop dramatically, each sitting just beneath each buttock. My spine stiffens with the anticipation, but I try to block it out, letting myself become lost in his kiss, returning my lips harder and harder still as I find he lifts me up in one confident and fantastically urgent sweep against the door. I feel my lips curve in satisfaction even as he kisses me still. God, I'm such a smug cow.

I lock my knees, my legs set apart against his hips. There's no panic, no sudden worry I'm about to fall... and that has happened to me before now. Mind you, I haven't initiated sex like this since... ever. But now I have a lover I trust. I want it. I want Dennis, here and now. He's been teasing and torturing me all day. Now, I need him.

A sweat upon my palms, I wrench at his fly. His kiss softens, and then his lips are gone from against mine, just for a second. Because in that second, he thrusts hard into me and I almost scream with the bliss of such tension. Because there is no release. Not yet. I just want to enjoy him. And he knows exactly how to make me do that, because now, me, initially fulfilled, he withdraws slowly, feeling all of me before thrusting just as fiercely back in. His eyes, glassy with a lust that I can see glaze my own, never leave mine, burning into me, always making me anticpate the next touch with heightened need.

Completely wound around him, I try so desperately to lift my hips away from the door, needing to counter his thrust, make him realise what kind what force of pace, what kind of force I want to feel inside of me so much. Dennis adjusts his hold accordingly, the tiniest smirk curving his lips as he watches me. So I take it upon myself in one determined move to break his concentration - to force my lips upon his, swiping hungrily at his bottom lip with the tip of my tongue.

But as the irrepressible pleasure builds like that raging fire inside, I have to break off in a needy gasp, nestling into his shoulder before I should fall, and I breathlessly alert him to how good he feels, what it is I need from him to take me further, how much I want him to do so.

The rain is still pouring down around us, flecks of it somehow reaching my parted thighs, exposed by the way my sodden dress has been lifted to around my hips. Just the sensation of it turns me on like I have never known. I'm looking at how soaked through Dennis is, his t-shirt clinging to every perfectly sexy muscle and I can't help but think, even as he fucks me, how much I want to get him somewhere, anywhere, where I can peel off all his clothes and do this all over again.

Except, we're not over yet. I never want us to be over. I want us to do this forever. I want it to feel as good as this forever. I love it like this. Because I love him. I love fucking him. Here, in the rain. He's incredible. Even as the paint flakes from the door and scratches at my bare skin, I counter him still, needing to feel all of him until there is nothing left besides that bliss, crying out for him and everything only he can create inside me. If only he'd let me. I want to so much.

But one of the most incredible things about Dennis is this ability he has that forces me to hold off from the bliss of climax til I'm aching around him, begging to let go. I've never been with another guy like that. I never knew it could feel so fuckin' incredible to beg.

"Please baby..." I plead against his imparted lips, quickly replacing my breathless words with my tongue. "...please..."

I feel his lips shift slightly into a smile as he returns my kiss, the pace of his thrust much harder and faster. Oh God...

I tilt my head helplessly back against the rain-splattered door, feeling the droplets soak into my already drenched hair but I am much more concerned with my need to announce my cries, begging for these last few thrusts. And of course, my darlin' obliges. I know, in his ragged and shallow breaths thats he is as close as he needs to be allow me my release. It crashes over me just as Dennis too begins to shudder, releasing all he has to give as we both try to breathe, completely overpowered by one another.

"Fuck..."  

49. Dennis

Sharon giggles, shakily pushing hair back from her face as I can't help but say it. She's absolutely bloody incredible and I'm not just saying that cos I just fucked her in the rain. She just does things to me no-one else ever has. I don't know if she knows it, but reaches to touch me and it's like this jolt goes through me, like electricity. It's amazing, makes my entire body fizz. Clearing her throat as she drops down into a crouch, she leaves me the privacy, if that's what you can call it given where we are, to, erm... readjust myself. It's alright for her, it just happens, the skirt of her dress falling down around her hips and molding happily to her thighs, drenched in so many separate ways.

She springs back up, her shoes gathered in her hands and leans back against the door, the sole of each foot raised in turn to rest against the surface of the flaking door as she pulls each shoe on, yanking at the straps to determine each foot is secure. As I lean back, stood beside her, she brings herself away away from the door and pulls gently on my hand, encouraging me to slide into the gap her movement has created. I stand willingly behind her, kissing her damnp shoulder, droplets of rain still melting into her warm, smooth skin as I wrap my arms around her waist, pressing into her hands.

She rocks gently from heel to heel, captivated as she watches the rain continue to pour down. God, if I'd known she could be so mesmerised by it, then we coulda just stayed in Walford, sat back and waited. But I know her. She's always complaining about the piss-take that is British weather. I don't know what makes this anymore worthwhile. Maybe it's because that in the warmth that has held fast in the air, you can tell we're not anywhere near Walford, that Tenerife somehow has a lot more to offer than Britain.

Turning her head to the side, Sharon asks softly; "Ready?"

As I nod, knowing I have no other choice unless we wanna hide out here all night and amuse ourselves before the pneumonia will most definitely hit, Sharon giggles again and takes half a step out of the archway, therefore moving out of the tangle of my arms around her and instead holding fiercely on to both my hands. I let one drop immediately, moving out round to her side, still not braving the rain as I look at her.

A smirk promptly takes her lips and she squeezes my hand, locking her fingers defiantly through as they curl around. She straightens her back and nods slowly as she murmurs; "One..."

Assuming we're going on three, I find myself shivering involuntarily against the chill of the rain I can not yet feel as I return; "Two..."

Sharon grins and cries "Go!" ducking her head against the pelt of rain as we race out into the downpour. She shrieks, somehow happy still as the millions of relentless droplets catch sharply at her bare skin. I can't seem to ignore the fact that the pale material of her dress is by now, not just heavy with the rain, but practically see-through. I can take in the curve of her hips, and trace out her bellybutton as she was wearing no top at all. But with that thought, it's hardly going to be her stomach that holds my attention. 

And as I clutch her hand, slowed up in the rain, breathless from laughing, I reach out to pull her against me. It's then she glances down, rain dripping from the ends of her hair, her nose, and even coming from her eyes, I swear, and realises why I look at her like I do, pressing her arm across her chest with a soft giggle.

"Pervert." she calls, smirking.

I say nothing to defend myself, just pull her arm back, letting my hand glide over it before settling in her own. Then I lift my head, letting my eyes travel slowly across her face. It's as though I could have been following one rain droplet on its journey across her entire body. Down the slope of her neck, across her collarbone, down into the dip of her breasts, trailing still, down to her stomach and over her hips. It's there I stop, pressing my hand over them as I level my gaze again.

"I'm done." I assure her.

She cocks her eyebrow questioningly. "Yeah? Well, I'm not - so c'mon!"

And she pulls on my hand, determined to keep running. The force with which she hits the great rivers of water to have sprung from the gutters, sends the freezing spray halfway up her bare legs, making her shriek and leap back in surprise. I laugh and pull her back into my arms, spontaneously lifting her from the ground. She clings to me, her arms locked around my neck. She nestles into my shoulders as she giggles, the sound smothered there.

"What's wrong with you?" she laughs, wincing as the rain catches painfully at the back of her ankle. She reaches down to rub the site tenderly.

I shrug carelessly, before enquiring; "D'you want a piggyback?"

She throws me a ludicrous look as I grin. "God, Dennis, you're so bloody funny!"

"Yeah, I'm drenched an' all!"

"So c'mon!" she demands despairingly, taking my hand again, pulling on it.

We're practically in hysterics by the time we make it aimlessly back to the hotel - it's bloody hard trying to work out where you're headed when you can't see a metre in front of you for the thickness of the rain. I don't think either of us are really all that sure what we're laughing at, unless you count the number of times the both of us so nearly got killed, darting out across roads just assuming there was no traffic. Ah well, there has to be worse ways to go than on top of Sharon right?

It's really hard trying to compose ourselves as we walk through the foyer, leaving puddles of rain water behind for every staggering step we're manging to take. Even that bloke at Concierge, the one who'd wanna be me if he knew who I was to Sharon, ends up giving us a really filthy look. And I can't help but wonder how much worse it would be if he knew what we'd just done. Jealousy isn't a good look. Unless you're Sharon. Cos that apparantly does it for her and hmmm, I'd know everything about that wouldn't I?

Sharon drops my hand as she walks the length of the lifts, pressing all available buttons several times to call them all down. And I can't help but be mesmerised by how she struts, how her hips swing, how her legs are so tantalising long. And if I go any higher than that, say... bust height... oh God, I seriously can't stop staring at her boobs, or how the material of her sodden dress peaks around each of her hardened nipples. She's still dying to be touched, and I want so much to be the one to do it - right now even, but I can't. And as she catches me looking so helplessly, she bows her head, smirking in the direction of the floor, her eyes still trained upon me. She's offering me chance to stop, and I just can't. She's so fuckin' beautiful.

"Stop!" she hisses quietly, rushing over to me as she creases into giggles.

"I'm not doing anything." I protest fruitlessly.

She just gives me a withering look, knowing as well as I do I'm lying. I may not have been touching her, but I'm giving her the kind of looks no "brother" gives a relative. Mind you, what kind of "sister" remainds so blasé about anyone that should want to look her way being able to get a full view of her boobs? I mean, there's being comfortable with your body and then there's... being tortured. That's what she's doing to me. She's torturing me.

I hurry her into the first lift that pings to ground and she's pushing at the keypad as soon as she can, leaving no time for anyone to appear and gratecrash this moment. The doors are barely closed when she's pulling me roughly to her, lips mashing desperately against mine, her tongue immediately imploring my mouth for the sheer depth of our kiss. She groans reluctantly as we reach sixth floor and I have to pull back, leading her out onto the corridor. She smiles gently and moves past me, deliberately pressing up against me as she twists her hips. She just pushes at the door, never having locked it. daft cow, but then I guess, seeing as she's wearing literally nothing except that dress and there are obviously no pockets there, where the Hell was I expecting her to be hiding her key card.

I follow her in, watching her drop contently back against the bed, already having kicked off her shoes with such a force, they've rebounded off the wall. I smile to myself and close the door before I sit down on the bed too. Sharon wriggles accordingly, resting her head in my lap. I stroke soaked hair back from her face and she smiles at this soft touch, idly caressing the wrist that offers it.

"How are you feeling?" I murmur.

"Tired..." she confesses honestly.

I smile, glad to have heard the truth. "You should get to bed..."

"Dennis Rickman... was that an offer?"

I laugh, amazed to find how much I truly do adore her. "D'you never give up? You need to sleep."

"Oh no..." she moans listlessly. "...not yet..."

"Sharon... you're not well. You need to relax."

"I am relaxed."

"Oh right yeah, cos we're both gonna stay here like this all night- Look, I'll run you a bath OK? And then Sharon, then you're going to sleep, no arguments."

She just looks up at me with those big and beautiful eyes and suddenly I feel unnerved. But her lips just curve and she murmurs, "You have no idea how sexy you look when you do that-"

"What?"

"Go all masterful on me. In some ways, it's pretty disappointing I'm your boss really isn't it?"

I bite back a laugh. "Well, you know what they say about mixing business with pleasure and all that..." Carefully, I lift her head and stand up, making sure she settles back against the pillow. 

As I straighten up, turning away, she pulls on my idle hand, regaining my attention. She smiles softly as my eyes meet hers, so big and alive with sparkle. Then she mouths, "Love you..."

And just for hearing the words, as incredible as the first time, I know I have fallen a little bit harder in love with her. And I'd be scared if I didn't know this was the most perfect thing I have ever known in my life. I squeeze her hand, hoping that she knows by now how much I love her too and I move off towards the bathroom, running her bath.

The hot water thunders down from the shimmering faucet, the thick pale pink creme I have poured in bubbling up in the tub, which in itself is about three times the size of domestic ones. But still, it fills quickly, as does the room, with that scented haze. Shutting off the flow of the water, I turn around, ready to alert Sharon. But she's already there, the softest smile curving her lips as she leans heavily against the wall.

"Thanks." she says gently.

Returnng her smile, I leave wordlessly. Except I don't. Not really. Cos I can't help but turn back from the doorway, watching her. Pulling her hair roughly up into one hand, she loosens the tie around her neck and the front of the dress falls away from her beautiful body like a second skin, dropping down against the drenched skirt. And I'm admiring the smooth ridges of her back as she leans forward, twisting her hips to force the skirt down. It falls heavily to the floor, water seeping from the material as she steps out of it. And I swear, as she stands there in all nakedness, letting her drenched hair lap at her shoulders once again, I have never seen anyone more beautiful and that's not even inclusive of the fact she has the cutest bum I have ever seen. She amazes me.

I watch as she lifts one legs over the edge of the bath, gasping as the temperature of the water swamps her dipped toes. But she soon adjusts to it and I listen to the water ripple as she settles down in it, her knees bent up to her chest.

"Dennis?" 

I flinch in surprise, not knowing to be embarrassed or smug that at her soft address, she evidently knows I have not gone far enough to not hear her.

I step back into the bathroom, loving how she smiles so slightly, swirling her hand in the water.

 "There's room for one more if you fancy it, darlin'."

50. Sharon

Course I didn't really need to ask the question. All I had to do was watch the way, just for a few seconds, he stared at me, lips curved into the sexiest smirk. I tilted my chin up, smiling sweetly as I enquired; "Was that a yes?"

Shaking his head in disbelief, he looked back at me, he took half a step forward and murmured; "What do you think?"

My lips shifted into a satisfied smirk and I caused ripples in the water as I pulled myself up again from the warmth of the bubbly water and confidently swung my right leg over the edge of the bath. I drip water everywhere as it cascades from my body, but I don't care and I can't say that Dennis seems to either. He just looks at me as if to question why I've moved at all. But I just move over to him, snaking my arms around his hips and stretching up onto my toes to kiss his mouth, before letting my hands drop around the waistband of his jeans, the pad of my thumb pressing into the button as I pop it open. 

Skillfully, I inch down his fly before pushing the sodden material down over his hips. He laughs gently and catches my hands.

"What?" I question indignantly, feigning innocence. "You didn't expect me to miss out on all the fun did you?"

"Oh, so that's what you want is it? So much for relaxing!"

"Well-" I muse huskily as he rolls his eyes and I set about peeling away his drenched t-shirt and pressing his lips again as soon as it is discarded. "-that's kinda up to you isn't it? Cos I've been needing to do this-" I push his jeans a little further. "-for hours..."

"Mmmm, well don't let me stop you or anything."

I didn't, believe me. I took everything I wanted, and everything I wanted was undoubtedly him. I was completely unable to bring my lips away from his after that first kiss, kissing him harder and fuller, writhing in the warm water to be closer to him. And it was in this need that we were soon just a tangle of lust. My last breath of air is stolen almost unknowingly as I bear down around him, needing to feel him inside me.

We rock slowly together, this time a lot less frantic, so much more sensuous. He is incredible, his hands moving steadily beneath the water to caress wherever he might reach as I straddle him. I'm fighting to bite back a succession of moans, so incredibly aroused by the fact that right now, perhaps for the first time, Dennis is powerless to do anything except let me have my way. And it feels so damn good. His eyes, glassy with lust as he touches me, do not leave mine, the haze of the bubbles rising up around us.

Time moves on blissfully on, me falling harder in love with Dennis for every second the pleasure builds inside, and I can feel it's more intense than I have ever known. I long to let go and yet somehow, I don't want to. But it overpowers me of course, helpless against Dennis' touch as he presses up into the ever sensitive ridges of my spine, encouraging my release as his own escapes him in a shudder. His moans bring me alive and I can't help but smother them with a desperate kiss, needing to have him in all completeness.

But Dennis wanted me to relax and he certainly got it. Cos now, needing to bring some sort of pattern to my ragged breathing, I'm leaning back his chest, loving how erratically it rises as he recovers too My head cocked to the side, his lips peck softly up the slope of my neck, and are then replaced by his hands, his fingertips kneading perfectly.

"You have way too much tension going on here, baby."

I laugh gently, letting the thick hazy scent of the bubbles cloud my head. "Yeah right. You just can't keep your hands off me."

I can feel the curve of his smirk brushing against my ear as he whispers teasingly; "And you wouldn't want me any other way."

"Oh I would." I assure him silkily, my lips inadvertently pressing his as I turn my head. "I want you in lots of ways."

"Ten weren't it?"

Bowing my head as I laugh, I turn and playfully flick water at him. He catches my hand and holds it so I'm pretty much powerless as he scoops up a handful of bubbles. I flick up my foot to disperse them. Dennis just laugh, gently pushing against my bent knee.

"What was that for?"

"If you'd put that in my hair..."

"As if I would..."

"You would!" I protest, lazily stroking up his arm. "I know you!"

"Is that right?" he challenges softly against my ear, obviously loving that we both know I'm right.

"Yeah." I tell him certainly, unable to stop the smile curving my lips as I turn my head and let it drop contently against his shoulder as I look up at him. "I know you like no-one else does! And you just have to deal with it - cos I love you."

"I know. I don't know what I did to deserve it either."

And just in that second, he sounds so sincere, so in awe, I want to throw my arms around him and tell him just how damn beautiful he is to me, body and soul. But I settle for locking my fingers firmly through his, our palms pressed together. And I giggle quietly down to them as I flick hair from my face, asking; "What d'you need Dennis, a repeat performance?"

"I'm not gonna say "no"!"

I laugh, stroking affectionately across his knuckles as he presses a kiss into my shoulder. "That's because Dennis Rickman, "No" has never been in your vocabulary."

"Hey, you can't throw that back on me. What about you eh?"

"Me? I go where I'm led, I do."

"Hmmm-" he murmurs warmly. "-you could get into all sorts of trouble that way."

"Oh I wouldn't call it "trouble" baby..."

"Yeah, well I don't think I need to know what you would call it!"

I smile weakly, letting my head loll to the side. He purses his lips in concern, his hand sweeping softly up my cheek to rest against my forehead.

"How's your head?"

"Burnin'." I confess reluctantly. "Whatever's left of my brain is on fire..."

"And you still wanna tell me that's a migraine? Sharon, you should let me get someone to look at you."

"You're looking aren't you?"

His warm breath tickles my ear comfortingly as he kisses my lobe and murmurs; "I'm not a doctor, baby."

"No, so what are you gonna tell one eh? That you just happen to be here too in case I got faint, slipped and drowned? That as my caring little brother, you couldn't have that on your conscience so got in here too?"

"Oi!" he scolds in a laugh. "Less of the little. And the rest of it an' all. Your probem is, you don't really face up to reality."

"I bloody do... ow!"

"No you don't. Look at you now eh? Creating all these... distractions... so you don't feel the pain - and you know it's there."

"Oh my God..." I realise quietly, pulling myself up even against the reluctance of my spine. "...you are unbelievable. You're actually berating me for..."

Smiling slightly, Dennis shakes his head, causing ripples in the water as he slides his arms around me around, curling around my shoulder and speaking tenderly against the base of my neck. "No I'm not. Not at all. How can I be that much of a hypocrite when I'm so damn weak huh? But I should be looking after you, not-"

"Taking what's on offer?"

"Something like that. I love you too y'know, I love you so much. And I will look after you, so... c'mon."

"C'mon where?" I question, regretfully feeling his embrace lessen.

"You're going to sleep. And I said no arguments."

51. Dennis

The worst thing about was going back and gathering my clothes, still drenched and yet somehow warm what with the heat of the room. Sharon had curled up obediently beneath the covers, but no way did it silence her. I turned around to go back into the bathroom, and all I heard was this thick murmur of "You have got the cutest arse-" 

I couldn't help but burst out laughing. "Sharon!" 

I composed myself and went off, not even turning to look at her. Hearing her giggle was all I needed. I fuckin' adore her.

I pulled on my clothes reluctantly. They felt vile against my skin and I wanted to claw them off again and curl up next to Sharon, just to hold her and know she's OK. But she isn't and if I stay, then she won't be, because she's not gonna sleep and I know that's what she needs. Well, it's what she needs if she refuses to see a doctor, but I might have to just make that decision on my own. I'm such an idiot. All that time out in the rain, never mind what we were doing, I know I'm gonna have made her so much worse. And how do I justify that? "Oh well, never mind, darlin', the sex was mind blowing, 'nother packet of Nurofen gonna sort you out?"

So as much as I want to stay, I know I have to go.

I stoop to gather the sodden clump of material from the floor that a few hours ago was the most gorgeous dress I have ever seen Sharon wear. Well, actually, aside from the Valentine's Ball, I don't think I ever have seen Sharon wearing a dress. She has this complex about her legs apparantly. I don't know why. She has incredible legs. I'm developing quite an obsession actually. And I'm peversely proud of that fact. I love admiring them as she walks, as she lies. I love touching them, caressing along each perfectly bronzed length. And most of all, I love feeling them around me, locked around my hips like some act of submission. Ah, she is amazing.

I shake the material out, unintentionally causing more puddles on the floor. Ah well, what do they pay house-keeping for anyway? The dress once again taking shape, I fold it over the radiator, flicking it on before I draw the door to a close. I somehow don't think that Sharon needs the extra heat right now.

"Right, so I'm naked and you're fully clothed and about to make a run for it? Oh baby, where's the justice eh?"

"You-" I say pointedly, smiling in spite of myself as I move round the edge of the bed, crouching down to face level, stroking hair back from her face as she drops her fingertips tenderly over my wrist, as if she has to touch me to be sure I am still there. "-are supposed to be sleeping."

"I'm trying." she insists innocently, forcing that failsafe pout. "But you keep distracting me."

"And how am I doing that?" I question in amusement, waiting the answer eagerly.

"Well-" she begins to tell me in a flirty whisper. "-everytime I close my eyes, I'm having rather... graphic flashbacks."

"Sharon..."

"Darlin'?"

"This isn't gonna work."

Her lips curve gently and I know I've worked her out. Her long eyelashes flicker innocently as she scooches into the pillow and declares; "I'm not doing anything..."

"Exactly... and you should be sleeping."

I pull myself up a little way from the edge of the bed and lean over her, pushing strands of hair back from against her forehead and wincing as I feel how badly she burns beneath my touch.

"Ouch..." I murmur tenderly as she whimpers accordingly. "...d'you need ice for that?"

"I think so." she replies weakly, nodding against the pillow, reluctantly dropping my hand as I move back, phone from the bedside in hand to call down to room service.

"There..." I tell her gently, dropping my hand back into place within hers as I sink back on the bed.

"I feel pathetic." she mumbles, colouring a little. Is that shame or is that the fact she's burning up?

"Well you're not." I assure her. "You're ill."

"But I don't want to be." she protests childishly. "And I want you to stay..."

Summoning all my resolve, I shake my head as I bite into my lip. "It's not happening baby, OK? You need to rest."

"Yeah, you'll be sorry when it turns out I choked on sick in the night."

I try and quash the uprising of nauseating guilt that occurs from the floor of my stomach. "Yeah, I will. But I'll be less sorry I wasn't lying next to you while you were puking... hey, no, listen to me, I'm gonna keep my phone on all night. You start to feel any different, better or worse, it don't matter, I'll be straight up here OK?"

"No you won't." she returns sleepily, sinking with some kind of contentness even deeper into the pillow.

"I'm being serious Sharon. And if you are sick, I don't care what time it is, you have to promise me you'll let me know cos you'll have to see someone."

"Eurgh." she cringes weakly, her eyes heavy with that ignored tiredness as she murmurs; "Toothbrush..."

I have to laugh. Quietly of course, I don't wanna disturb her. It's just, I know what she's thinking. She could be throwing up everywhere, desperately ill, and she'd still be scouring at her teeth and gums before she told anyone. She must be the only person I know that's admitted to carrying a tube of Sensodyne round with her when she was a teenager so that when she threw up £15 worth of cheap cider, she could at least try and kid Den she was sober because the only thing he'd be smelling on her would be fresh mint. Half cut and still with an oral hygiene routine her dentist would be proud of! She really is something else.

Mine. 

"That's right darlin'." I whisper in amusement as at last she sleeps, leaving me to stroke through her hair. "Why break the habit of a lifetime eh?"

Well actually, if you turn that one back on me, I have the perfect reason why and she's right here. It's pretty scary to think that if I coulda met her ten years ago, my life coulda worked out so differently. Or at least, maybe the better bits woulda come sooner. But at least they're here now, even if right now, they're caught in a fever I have no understanding of. I don't want her to be ill either. I want us to enjoy this holiday together, but I suppose I can't always be such a selfish arse can I?

I jump slightly at the tentative knock at the door, looking down to Sharon and being immediately relieved she hasn't stirred. I push myself up and go to open the door, shielding view of the room as I reach wordlessly to take the ice bucket from the bloke stood there, feet turned out and chest puffed out like a peacock like he's just delivered a friggin' telegram from the Queen. Must be new to the job. I hand him a creased Euro note without caring to look to see what i is I'm giving away. Whatever, I just need him to go.

I lay out the flannels and weigh down the edge with the ice bucket. It's there if she needs it I guess - if it hasn't melted away by the time she stirs, but whatever.

I tenderly lean down to kiss her forehead and she murmurs in her sleep. She knows I'm here, but she'll know even less that I'm going because she's not really conscious. She's resting. And so she should be. I'm gonna miss her though. So now who's pathetic?

"Love you..." I whisper against her skin.

It kinda hurts to leave her, and I'm sighing heavily as I walk off, wishing I'd bitten it back. But I can't help worrying. What if she's right? What if she's sick and she... and I wasn't...? But I shake the horror of it away, drawing the door shut. I walk heavily down the hallway, calling the lift and riding down to ground because I desperately need to go outside and go through about ten fags in ten minutes.

But I'm going through the lobby when I collide with someone, too distracted by my worry about Sharon to take in where the hell I was going, just knowing I need to get out. We kinda rebound off one another and reach out to steady them as I gabble my apologies. I flinch as I realise I'm looking straight in the shimmering eyes of my little sister.

"Oh... Vicks..."

She rolls her eyes as I let my hands drop away and step back. "Well, you don't have to sound so pleased to see me y'know Dennis. And yes, me & Rob had a great time, thanks for asking."

"Sorry sis." I say weakly, not even able to muster a meant smile. "Things on my mind..."

She pauses for a second, bitting into her budded lip as she cocks her head to the side and scans my face quizzically. "You look worried. What is it?"

"It's Sharon." I tell her honestly, with a defeated sigh. "I'm worried sick about Sharon..."

52. Vicki

And just to look at him I can well believe it, and that's a weird realisation in itself because I've never seen Dennis worry - not like a normal person does anyway. Not that he's not normal but Dennis' usual way of worrying is to yell at me when I crawl in blurry eyed and slurring at four in the morning, telling me anything coulda happened to me and refusing to sub me anymore cash so he might get some bloody sleep instead of pacing around. Well, at least he used to. He's had to ease off a bit since Dad came back, because no-one was gonna be able to take two sets of "concern" (cos it bloody hurts come the morning!) But still, it's nice to know my big brother cares enough to notice I was ever gone.

But this, this is an entirely different kinda worry and as he's said, it's not about me. Not that it could be. It's not even midnight and I'm not exactly on a curfew, what with being on holiday and all. Before the two of us kinda collided here, I was regretting my decision to come back here at all, but now I'm glad I did because if Dennis is worried, like, properly worried then something is definitely wrong.

He's always left Sharon alone before. I guess seeing as she's the "big" sister, he's always figured she can look after herself, hasn't wanted to interfere should he get battered over the head with a hairdryer or something. But it definitely seems him and Sharon have developed a closeness over the last few days that never really existed when we were in Walford. I mean, they got on, but that's because they're brother and sister - if they'd just met as strangers on the street at any point in their lives, I know for a fact Sharon woulda bolted in the other direction. Not least cos of who Dennis grew surrounded by, but because she used to say he was really arrogant. But having said that, I can't think of any bloke Sharon's ever been with that didn't attract because of arrogance, but yeah, given that we're talking our brother here... eurgh, Vicki, stop!

Wordlessly, I lead him through to the bar and he blinks in surprise as I order our drinks. Large vodka, no ice needed in his system by the look of him. But I think it's more the fact I'm paying for it that surprises him more than anything else right now. I just roll my eyes as I push his glass towards him and he cages it, sighing quietly as we move off to a table in the corner. I take a sip of my drink as I sit down, before placing it on the edge of the table. 

I nod pointedly towards Dennis' own glass and say; "You are going to drink that. God knows you look like you could do with it."

"Cheers Vicks." he returns weakly as he sits down.

"Well, c'mon, you tell me, what are you so worried about? And why the Hell are you soaking wet?"

"I've made her ill. I know I have..."

"Who, Sharon?"

He nods. I try and force down a stirring of tight panic in my chest.

"What's wrong with her?"

He lifts his head and seriously, he looks well pained as he hunches his shoulders. I feel sorry for him. But whatever this is, it can't be as bad as all that can it? It's not like he's phoned me from a hospital. She's probably got period pain or something, had to cry off this hot date she had lined up and has been making Dennis suffer with her. Families are great aren't they?

"She says it's a migraine, but I don't believe it."

Turning my head questioningly to the side, I throw over an odd look. "She gets 'em bad though, you know that right?"

And she really does bless her. The only time you know my sister is genuinely ill is when she tries to play it down and act like it's nothing, keep on working herself into the ground. One time I found her in the kitchen at four in the morning, eyes squinted as she fought to work through the books but was practically passed out on the table, crying miserably with the pain. I forced her to come to Casualty with me, admittedly then not truly understanding the concept of a migraine. I got really angry when they sent us off with some standard painkillers, but Sharon made me see that's all anyone could have done. So now, when she suffers like this, she takes the tablets she knows works the best, always carrying a foil of them around in her ever depthless bag and then goes to lie down in a very dark room - if someone can snaffle her keys from her and practically badger her back into bed when she drags herself up for work at seven in the morning.

But Dennis just shrugs, sipping miserably at his drink. "Not really. I mean, there'd be some nights at the club when she'd just be sat in the office, eyes closed, not talking, never knowing who was going in or out, but I never knew she was in so much pain. It was horrible Vicki, really horrible.

"What was?"

"She... She told me she wasn't feeling very well and I... I told her to go to bed. But she didn't want to. She wanted to get out of here so we... we went for a walk, across the beach and that - I thought it might sort her head... and she... I think she collapsed. I mean, not really, cos I caught her, but she kinda fell and didn't know what had happened, blacked out or something. And she's said it feels like her brain's on fire... and she is to the touch, she's proper feverish and that can't be right. And I'm worried that it's not just a migraine, that she's got sunstroke or something and she won't see anyone."

"Yeah well, you know what Sharon's like. She's bad enough about doctors at home, let alone in a foreign country!" 

Then I see how panic-stricken he is as he looks up at me, and as cute as it is, I can't help but wonder where all this concern suddenly sprung from. I mean, they've gotten close, that's great, but what the Hell have they been talking about in all this time they've been spending together to make it that way? Alright Vicki, stop, that ain't what matters right now.

As Dennis gulps back his drink, I reach over and squeeze his hand reassuringly. "She doesn't have sunstroke Dennis."

"Yeah? And what makes you the expert sis?" I reel back, slightly stung and he sighs as he slouches back, smiling in weak apology. "I just... I don't want anything to happen to her cos if it does then it's my fault."

"How?"

"I went with her didn't I?" He gestures heavily down to his sodden clothes. "And it started to pour it down and we... we didn't go back. Sharon's there, like she's drunk, dancing round in it just to feel it on her, it was mad. So if she has got a fever... it was me."

"Yeah alright..." I agree with an absorbing nod. "...but it's not like you killed anyone is it?"

He flinches. Yeah OK, wasn't exactly the most tactful thing to say was it?

"She'll be fine!" I repeat. "You gave her painkillers right?"

"Yep. Got ice for her head too, but she was kinda asleep so she's not gonna make use of it."

"Well, she might have if she's woken up."

But Dennis shakes his head. "No, if she had... I told her to call me, say how she was feeling and-" He pointedly withdraws his inanimate phone from his pocket. "-nothing."

"Oooh!" I cry, suddenly struck. "Talking of calls, did you call her bloke?"

He looks at me tiredly, utterly bewildered. "What?"

"Sharon had a date tonight Dennis!" I inform her despairingly, rolling my eyes. "Honestly, keep up. That guy is gonna be gutted he didn't get to see what she bought in town today, let me tell ya, especially if she just stood him up!"

"Well, he'll just have to understand won't he?" my brother hits back sarcastically. "Look, can we just go?"

"Go where?" I ask, obediently draining my glass as I watch him rise, shoving his phone back into his pocket and generally getting edgy like only Dennis does.

"Sharon's room. I wanna check she's OK."

"But if she's still sleeping then you'll-"

"Vicki, please! Just say it is sunstroke yeah? What if she's sick? What if she's sick and she is still sleeping. She shouldn't be on her own, so please let's just go check on her!"

"Jesus-" I mumble, entirely taken aback. "-you really are worried..."

He shoots me a look that scream "Y'think?!" as I push my chair back and we rush towards the lifts. One reaches ground almost immediately and Dennis stabs at the button for sixth floor as I lean back against the wall, watching how helplessly agitated he is and perhaps worrying for him more than Sharon.

The door to her own is still unlocked, as it would have been when Dennis left her to sleep. We edge carefully into the room, both of us looking immediately towards the bed. Sharon is curled up in her usual sleeping heap, doing precisely that, sleeping, murmuring incoherently to herself as she always has done. The pillowcases and sheets are clean - no sick anywhere and I know that's what Dennis' darting eyes are searching so frantically for. I move over to the ice bucket stood up some laid out flannels on the bedside table and swill the contents round. Melted sludge.

Ah well, it doesn't seem like she needs it.

Honestly, it's Dennis worrying me more than anything. He rushes round to Sharon's side of the bed and crouches down beside her, his mouth cover by the anxious screen of his hands as he watches her so silently.

"Dennis-" I sigh, repeating; "-she's fine."

"No-" he murmurs weakly, shaking his head in disagreement. "-No she isn't."

And I have this feeling that if I don't do something, he's gonna be crouched there all night, worrying like crazy like he's keeping a vigil over a coma.

"Look-" I begin to offer, stepping up to the empty side of the bed. "-would it make things any easier for you if I said I'd stay in here tonight? Just in case she... just to watch over her?"

His hands fall away in surprise as he blinks. "Why... Why would you do that?"

"Cos otherwise, you're gonna make yourself ill worrying and... well, you can't sleep in her bed can you?"

He looks down, laughing weakly. "I guess not."

I go over to him, crouching to his level and pressing my hands into his shoulders to gain his attention, shaking him slightly as I speak; "Listen to me Dennis, it isn't your fault OK? OK, so the daft cow went dancing in the rain and she might start sneezing... she's not about to die of sunstroke cos she went out in that with a migraine! I promise you, that's all this is. Let her sleep through it and she'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" he presses doubtfully."

"Positive." I assure him, pushing myself back up and moving back around to the other side of the bed. My hands poised over the fly of my jeans having kicked off my heels, I glance over my shoulder and ask quickly; "Can you... not look?"

His laugh, although quiet, is fuller this time as he gets up and deliberately becomes fixated with the view from the window. "Totally not looking darlin', don't worry."

So I don't, wriggle out of my jeans, letting them pool on the floor and crawling into the bed beside Sharon without undressing any further.

"Done." I say softly, alerting Dennis is safe to turn back around as I snuggle down into Sharon's radiated warmth. He turns immediately and returns to crouching at Sharon's side, apparantly seeing a fever upon her sleeping face that I do not. "You can go now..."

And again he flinches, shaking his head before I've even said all the words. "No. No.... can't I just wait til you're asleep? Make sure you're both OK? I'll go when you're asleep..." 

 
53. Dennis

My head feels thick with sleep as I reluctantly wake in my own bed. My stomach jolts unfavourably as I inch groggily over onto my hip and realise I've lain here alone all night. Really not used to that anymore. Well, I haven't really been here all night. Not that it's apparantly night-time anymore. No, it's half five in the afternoon. Bloody Hell, I really do worry. See, I didn't leave Sharon's room til seven. And it wasn't like all the times we've been sneaking out of each other's rooms. Cos I was there, my limbs heavy I moved so little, watching my little sister sleep peacefully beside her. It was so painfully innocent. And I just couldn't make myself get up and go.

Vicki fell asleep just past one. I didn't move. Because if anything, that knot of fear in my stomach tightened all the more. If Vicki was asleep, who was gonna know if anything did happen to Sharon in the night? Or what if Vicki woke up too late? Not that I woulda known what to do, but panic woulda made me do it anyway I know. So I didn't move, barely even blinking as I watched the way Vicki spooned so protectively up to Sharon. She loves her as much as I do, just, oh so differently.

I stayed there all night, ignoring it as my eyes began to itch with tiredness. I've never had any trouble pulling all nighters before, but then I'd almost always taken something I shouldn't have. Besides, worrying like I was really took it out of me, flinching everytime Sharon so much as writhed. Still, she slept on peacefully and I stayed, rigid with fright for every second that passed by. It was only as I finally realised that the dark night had given way to the bright pouring sunlight of the morning that I realised I really did have to go. 

It hurt to get up, it really did. And not just physically. I wanted so much to lean ove Sharon and whisper how much I loved her, but knew I couldn't in case Vicki weren't really all that much of a deep sleeper herself. She already thinks I've overreacted, so if she opened her eyes and realised I'd been there all night... So I'd sighed and gone with a heavy step up to my own room. I don't even remember climbing into bed. Although, I'm guessing by the state of my clothes, all of them still on, that I more likely crawled to bed, falling asleep before my head had chance to hit the pillow.

So I woke up and the first thing I do having reluctantly pulled myself up into a sitting position was grapple for my phone. Nothing. And I guess I have a mini sulk, cos I told Sharon to let me know how she was feeling. Still, no news is good news right? And Vicki would have let me know if anything...  

I force myself to pull out some fresh clothes and get in the shower. I'm out again in five minutes, hardly feeling any better for it. Cos all I can think about is Sharon. OK, so that's been happening a lot of its own accord recently, but this is different, this is panic and I wasn't sure I knew how to. I get dressed and for some reason that I have no logic for, but seems to make sense to me, I head straight outside, having to squint against the low sunlight illuminating the dusky sky. Early evening already, shit my body clock is screwed. I have a horrible feeling it's gonna take me days to get out of being soddin' nocturnal, but I guess that depends on how Sharon feels don't it?

Well, however she feels, she's not out here and neither's Vicki. Guess this woulda been more of a morning ritual for them. Not that I know that either of them got up during an hour of the morning. I go through the foyer, checking everywhere I can think of. It's true what they say about the last place you think of y'know, cos I find Vicki lazily stirring a cocktail with her straw as she sits at one of the tables at the edge of the indoor pool. She's not dressed for it, so I'm guessing the big fluffy towel slung over the chair opposite her could only be for one person...

Breathing a sigh of relief, I rush over, leaning down to peck her cheek. "Hey sis..." I smile, sinking down next to her. "...you sleep OK?"

"Mmmm-hmmm, which is more than I can say for you."

I laugh gently, feeling my nose wrinkle at the stench of chlorine ever present in the air around. "Sorry?"

"Your eyes aren't even open yet Dennis."

Now she's said that, I rub self-consciously at them. "Yeah well, I need a coffee don't I?"

She assesses me knowingly. "You've only just woken up haven't you?"

"Mmmm." I admit sheepishly. "About quarter of an hour ago." 

Her pretty painted mouth gapes. "Jesus Dennis, what were you doing all night?"

I cast my eyes guiltily down to the table, not wanting to tell her. Luckily, my presumptious little sister takes it upon herself to draw her own conclusions, smirking.

"Ah, say no more, I get it. Sharon weren't the only one with a... rendezvous planned for last night was she eh?"

I say nothing to reply, just shake my head with a disbelieving smile. "Look at you, you smug cow, no wonder you failed French."

"I didn't fail!" she protests indignantly. But I just grin and she relents, adding; "I just didn't... pass."

"I know. And I also know you're gonna think what you like, to Hell with what I tell ya so..."

"So do I get to meet her?"

"Who?"

"Your femme fatale."

"Vicki..." I say warningly, fighting the urge to burst out laughing as she unashamedly emphasises the French. I best not mention the need for a coffee again or she's gonna have me necking café au lait.

"Yeah well, if you and Sharon have copped off-"

I jolt in alarm, my fuddled brain not recognising the thoughtful pause at the end and taking it for a full sentence, suddenly fearing that seemingly ever oblivious Vicki has figured me and Sharon out and... oh God-

"What?"

Vicki gives me a weird look as she registers my alarm. "No listen right, are you still seeing this woman, whoever she is?"

"Yeah..." I nod uneasily, no trusting myself to say anymore because I have absolutely no idea where Vicki's going.

"Well I think I should get to meet her before we head home cos... well something's up with this guy Sharon's seeing."

Pain twinges in my neck I lift my head so quickly, laughing nervously. "How... How the Hell did you work that out?"

My sister rolls her eyes, like it should be blindingly obvious and then she leans a little way across the table to inform me; "Sharon talks in her sleep. Actually, I think she was kinda talking to me... worked out I was there. I whispered to her, didn't wanna wake her up but I didn't wanna freak her out either. Pretty sure she'd have liked to have woken up to this guy a lot more. But y'know what... I think something big's going on."

"Like what?"

She muses over it. "I dunno, but she sounded pretty anxious y'know, nervous." She hunches her shoulders. "To be honest, it made absolutely no sense."

My stomach writhes anxiously as I press, "What did she say Vicks?"

"Ummm... it was like "Don't be angry... I need him. We don't mean to hurt you darlin'-" or sweetheart or something. "-but we're in love... you can't help it." Yeah, that was it - you can't help it." 

But considering Sharon's sleepy admission, Vicki gives me a worried look, biting into her lip. And if I'm honest, I wanna do the same. Fevers are bad, bad, bad. I mean, I love her, but God, if she knew Vicki was there, even in half-consciousness, why would she say...?

"You don't think she's... I dunno... got engaged do you?"

I almost choke. "What?"

"Well, we don't know what this guy's like do we? They're supposed to be all charm - and all after a pissin' visa!"

"Oh what, and you reckon Sharon'd fall for that do you? God Vicki, give her some credit will ya?"

"OK!" she declares, exasperated. "So it's stupid I know, but nothing else fits! I mean, who the Hell is she suddenly in love with for one thing? It's crazy..."

I slump guiltily back in my chair, biting into my lip to stop myself saying a single word as my mind reels.

No it's not. It's all true. It's me. It's me.

How am I ever gonna say that to Vicki in a way that won't hurt her?

"Where is she Vicki?" I question absent-mindedly.

"In there somewhere." she answers, nodding towards the pool. "Said she felt loads better. Hasn't taken a painkiller all day."

The relief at hearing such news fleeting, I scrutinise the pool with narrowed eyes. Only, she's not there. She's walking around the edge of the pool, towards us, water cascading from her body for every step she takes. I'm sure I see the faintest smile in the corner of her mouth as she moves past me, pulling up the towel from the chair and securing around her middle so that only the straps of her bikini are visible as they cling to her bronzed shoulders.

"Evening." she says smoothly in my direction before teasing; "Oh God, Dennis, you don't look well."

"Yeah, you can shut up." I return, rubbing again at my eyes again. I let my hand drop against the table and cock my head to the side, asking; "Or didn't you know you talk in your sleep an' all?"

She blinks in surprise, an anxious laugh escaping her as she looks between Vicki and me.

"I what?"

"Yeah," I nod."Vicki reckons you're about to elope with that concierge bloke, or whoever it is you love so much."

Sharon seems to catch my drift and looks away, face flushed with colour as she looks awkwardly down at the table. Vicki leans forward and, taking hold of Sharon's hand, says; "Don't do it Sharon, eh?"

Sharon laughs weakly, recognising she's being teased and feeling even more foolish for it, bless her. "I won't, I promise."

"Yeah-" I suggest, casually taking up her other still-damp hand. She smiles nervously at my touch and her gaze flitters to study Vicki's reaction. But of course, there is none. To Vicki this is one of those perfect family monets, whatever the Hell one of them is anyway. "-or better still, do us all a favour and just stop talking in your sleep!"

54. Sharon

I slump back, face flamed with utter embarrassment. I never knew I talked in my sleep! It must just be the fever right? I mean, if I did, someone at some time woulda told me wouldn't they? Cos, urgh, that's just freaky. Imagine what you could say without knowing it... My spine locks as I look across at Dennis, his hand pressed over mine just as Vicki's is on the other side. Oh God, oh God, I so nearly did...

And to Vicki... Jesus Christ, what was I thinking? Nothing close to what she is by the sound of it, bloody Hell, married off to Enrique already eh? Cos of one restless night when I couldn't keep my bloody mouth shut? Overwhelmed by the need to escape my own sheer stupidity, I pull myself up, mumbling.

"Right... gonna head off and get in the shower before my hair goes green or something..."

Having released my hand easily, Dennis twists in his chair with a humoured smile, looking me calmly up and down as I move past him.

"You mean it's not natural?"

He's smirking almost immediately and it's my instinct to lean forward and swipe him lightly across the head with my hand. He ducks but is laughing even as he realises I haven't missed.

"Cheeky bastard, I ain't listening to that!"

"Why not?" he teases. "It's fun..."

"Well, you know what they say about gentlemen don't you Dennis?"

He nods slowly, lips flickering as he lets my words sink in. I smile knowingly and am halfway to turning away when he muses; "Except... you don't know any do you?"

I whirl round indignantly, throwing him a look. But he just tilts his head and grins, which makes Vicki giggle as much as I want to. So I do what's expected of me and pretend to flounce off. I'm still giggling as I ride up to sixth floor in the lift, pulling off the towel as I push open my unlocked door (again, nowhere to hide my key-card!) I throw the towel to the floor and pad through to the bathroom, reaching in and running the shower as I peel off my bikini, letting it drop into a sodden heap on the floor.

I climb underneath the jets of water, grateful to feel the true warmth of it cascade down my body. I feel so much better now. My head's not fuzzy and better it doesn't hurt. If it did, I think I mighta noticed the near death experience in the pool. But ah, I feel so much better for that swim. Or maybe it's just the fact I've seen Dennis at long last. I was really starting to miss him. Or maybe it was a lot sooner than I consciously realised, what with talking about him in my bloody sleep. He must really do something to me.

I quickly wash through my hair, needing to get rid of the threat of chlorine as soon as I can, which is precisely why I didn't choose to get in the bath instead. Besides, I've had it proven to me there's no fun to be found in taking a bath alone.

After a few minutes beneath the spray, I feel a lot cleaner and shut the water off, stepping out and pulling on my warm, fluffy bathrobe. I'm tying the sash when I hear the door creak. I step over my heap of abandoned clothing, peeking out round the door, heart skipping a beat as I recognise Dennis gently backing up against the door to close it.

He levels his head, smiling gently as he sees me there. "Hey.." He moves over and sinks down onto the edge of the bed. I smile brightly and pulling the sash tight, I rush over, my lips pressed to his before I've even let him pull me to him. But I love his touch, giggling softly as he guides me down into his lap, me draping my arms around his neck. I'm captivated by everything about him, lost in his shimmering eyes as I murmur; "I've missed you so much..."

"Mmmm, so I've heard..."

"Oh don't!" I plead in a groan, nestling down into the crook of his neck. "I can't believe I... I've never done that before have I... in my sleep?"

"Not that I've noticed." he tells me, unable to stop himself smirking as he reaches up to stroke strands of hair away from my face. "But I reckon it's really cute."

"Oh yeah right!" I scoff, rolling my eyes. "I bet you were bricking it when Vicki told you... what did she tell you?"

"I told you... she reckons you're about to marry some Spanish guy and have your heart broken when he fucks off with the visa. Course, if any of 'em knew what they were missin' with you, they'd stay put."

"And what about you?" I question silkily, pecking his lips. 

But as he draws back, he still chooses to tease me. "Paid up British citizen I am darlin'."

I whack him playfully across the shoulder as I rest my head there. "Shut up, y'know that's not what I meant."

He laughs gently against my ear, holding me closer. "No, I know what you meant. And I ain't going anywhere."

"Not like last night then?"

"What d'you mean?"

"Well, Vicki was the last bloody person I thought I'd wake up to. You know I wanted it to be you and you just fucked off."

"I bloody didn't. Or d'you reckon I've wasted almost a whole day sleeping for the fun of it?"

"So where the Hell were you then?" I challenge.

"I was right next to you..." he whispers tenderly in my ear, his warm breath tickling my lobe. "...til seven this morning anyway."

Confused, I reluctantly lift my head and scrutinise him through narrowed eyes. "What?"

He laughs gently, amused by my confusion. "Sharon, I was worried about you, you know that. Vicki came back and I was still worried about you. I thought, with the rain and that I'd have made you really ill-"

"Mmmm-" I muse contently. "it woulda definitely been worth it!"

"-so I talked to Vicki. I wanted to come check on you. I think I kinda freaked her out I was so worried, so she offered to stay with you through the night in case something happened to you. And I just had... to be grateful. I couldn't exactly say "Oh no Vicks, I'll do it, Sharon'd prefer it that way!" could I? I told her I'd go when she fell asleep. So I was right next to you, just watching you... and you look fuckin' beautiful when you sleep y'know that... and I just... I couldn't go. I wanted to stay with you, and I did. But I had to get out at some stage or Vicki was gonna wake up and realise I'd been there all night and get... well, suspicious, and she'd have had every right to an' all!"

I nod gently. "Yeah, just like I've got every right to sleep beside you. Or... less sleeping and more-"

"Ah!" Dennis laughs off my flirtatious smile. "Not unless you feel better..."

"Mmmm-hmmm."I smile again, eager to take up the challenge I hear. So I bowed my head and passionately press his mouth. "D'you wanna see how much?" 

55. Sharon

I snuggle contently down into the warmth of Dennis' arms, loving feeling the rise and fall of his chest, his heartbeat in my ear. Dennis reaches down, tilting my chin up with his fingertips and smiling softly as he bows his head and firmly presses my lips. Well, he wanted to be shown and now he's seen. The least I should be allowed is to drink in his taste, reluctant to surrender it as he draws back and scooches his head into the pillow beside me.

"C'mon-" he murmurs softly, lips curving into a gentle smile as he nudges me. "-we have to go..."

"No we don't." I protest warmly, snuggling back into him and regaining his waning attention. "We can just stay here... together."

"Oh yeah?" he muses, suggestion alive in his eyes as he smirks. "And do what?"

I pull myself up onto my elbows and lean down against him, lazily tracing circles against his skin as he returns the touch, stroking tenderly up my arm.

"Well-" I whisper flirtily. "-we could always do that again!"

Dennis just smirks and damn him, he knows how much more just that look makes me want him. But he just lets his head loll back against the pillow, gazing at me questioningly as he asks; "Sharon, d'you know what they mean by "compromising position"?"

I giggle naughtily, swinging my hair back from my shoulders as I bite into the pad of my thumb. "How many d'you want, Dennis? Tell me..."

He laughs quietly, catching his hands around my face and drawing me gently down to the invitation of my lips. "You are better, aren't you?"

"What, you mean you couldn't judge that for yourself?" He just looks at me and I wriggle down to kiss the base of his neck, purring; "Or do you need a replay?"

"Sharon!" he laughs again, writhing to throw off the insistence of my mouth. "We have to go."

"Why?" I question perpetulantly.

"Because you arranged to get plastered with Vicki tonight, remember?"

"No I didn't!" I splutter indignantly, mouth gaping. "I said I'd meet her and Rob for a drink, that's all."

"No, that's not all, cos you said I'd go too."

I purse my lips teasingly. "I thought you'd enjoy it. Besides, I don't want you to get lonely do I?"

He reaches up, idly twisting the ends of my hair around his finger as he smiles at me. "And why would I get lonely eh?"

"Because darlin', right now, Vicki probably thinks I'm still washing my hair and that you are up to no good with your bit of skirt."

"Ah!" Dennis declares with a sigh of amusement. "So that's what you are now is it?"

"Well, I could be... if I was wearing one. But I'm not am I? So make the best of it..."

"Later!" he assures me with a laugh as he straightens up, pushing me back with the exertion. "We have to get dressed."

I give him an innocent look as I straddle his lap, my knees pressing into the duvet as I wind my arms tight around his neck. "What, and have to keep my hands off you for... hours? You're asking too much baby."

"Me?" he challenges, eyes wide as he can't help but return my kiss. "You're the one who said we'd meet her. But... if you get up now, I'll buy you some champagne?"

"Oooh." I coo, impressed. "Vicki's definitely gonna know something's up if you play it like that. Bribery's a dangerous thing, Dennis. So if you make it the bottle, I'll sweeten her up for you... for us."

"Mmmm... hard bargain, but OK." He glances down and pushes the duvet away from my back, stroking down the ridges of my spine before letting his hand drop against the warmth of my inner thigh. Then he bows his head and nuzzles gently at my neck. "So you gonna get dressed or what?"

"Only cos you asked me..."

I swing my leg round to the floor, crouching to withdraw the bag from under the bed. I use the size of it to cover my nakedness, already knowing that Dennis to seek out every inch he shouldn't be able to see.

"What's in the bag?"

"Oh darlin'... you know what's in the bag. And seeing as I was ill last night... I best make use of it tonight, hadn't I? And anyway, why aren't you getting dressed?"

"Because if I get dressed now, I'll be waiting round for you. I figure we should turn the tables a little, balance this relationship a bit!"

I tilt my head to the side. "Balance... tables? Well, aren't you full of good ideas?"

"Why?" Dennis smirks, leaning forward beneath the duvet. "That summat you wanna try?"

I grin as I back into the bathroom. "Maybe not in front of Vicki eh?"

And with that, I close the door, dropping the bag on the floor and wrenching it open. I run my hand over the smooth material of the basque. Satin. There is something so sexy about satin. I feel so confident wearing it, and I'm gonna love Dennis touching it, better still, removing it. I turn and lift my dress, where Dennis left it drying last night on the radiator and pull it over my head, loving the feel of the material on my skin. 

It's my hair that takes the most doing. I didn't choose to let it dry in the most conventional of ways did I? Not with the patience to do much with it, I brush it up into a high ponytail and instead set about applying my make-up. Subtle strokes of colour to my lips and eyes, separating my lashes with mascara. Definition is all in the eyes. And I am not gonna let Dennis take his off me.

I leave the bathroom with a backward glance of satisfaction in the mirror before I go back out to the bedroom, needing to search out my shoes. And Dennis is obviously right, because he's dressed and the bed's made. What I really love about Dennis is the way he has no shame in lifting his clothes from a rumpled heap on the floor and putting back them on and wearing them in the kind of way that just means they have to go again. He's so effortlessly gorgeous. And he's mine.

"Wow."

"I'll do then?"

He nods dumbly. "Ain't for me though is it?"

"Patience, baby, patience."

I pull on my heels and straighten up, moving round the edge of the bed to be close to my darlin'. I caress his face and softly kiss his lips, always needing more.

"How we gonna do this then eh?" I question, squeezing both his hands in mine. "Can't both go down to Vicki looking like the cat that got the cream can we?"

Dennis grins in disbelief, shaking his head in agreement before letting his arms drop around me and pulling me close, our hips swinging gently against one another.

"You go, make your entrance, be gorgeous. I'll go have a cigarette, and if you promise to get the drinks in-"

I pull back. "I thought you were buying me and Vicki champagne?"

"You get the drinks in and I promise... I'll keep my hands to myself. You don't... I can't promise you anything..."

56. Vicki

It's just gone seven when Sharon sails into the bar, her tight ponytail swinging confidently against her shoulders, as is the spring in her step. She looks very happy, which just means she looks all the more gorgeous in that dress. I can't help but wonder if, after this shower she went off to take, she might have bumped into a certain elusive someone and, I dunno, skipped off to the town hall for a marriage licence or something? I know I'm being ridiculous, taking even a second to scan her bare hands for sight of a ring, but I can't help it. Her talking like that last night, even in her sleep, probably not meaning a word of it, she's really unsettled me.

At least I know I don't have to worry about Dennis - he's guessable. Sharon went off and he stayed with me by the pool, getting a coffee inside him to wake him up before he declared that he had "things to do, people to see", which I know really means "people to do, things to see". That's definitely much more my big brother's style, and as long as the ensuing imagery leaves me alone, then that's fine.

I'm not sure I really believe that he's been disappearing off to be with the same (still faceless, I might add!) woman each and every time. Anything above 48 hours counts as long term for Dennis right? And he's on holiday - no way is that what we wants. Still, if it really is the same woman, then I think I have a fair idea who. That waitress, Freya I think her name is... she's been making eyes at Dennis practically since we arrived and any idiot can see that - which means Dennis can too. And he loves attention, as long as it's the right sort. And surely there can't be a better sort than a wide-eyed, big-busted sultry senorita?

But of course, every detail of her is stolen by the image of Sharon catching sight of me and Rob around the table and bounding over to us with a smile. Cos Sharon... she's so naturally gorgeous, she's hardly wearing any make-up. In fact, I don't think she has this whole holiday. She must be feeling different, so much more at ease with herself. No wonder she wanted to get away so much. Sun suits her. So little make-up and argh, I'm jealous.

"Heya darlin'." she murmurs warmly, leaning in to kiss my cheek as I scrape my chair back and me and Rob both stand up to greet her.

"Hey Sharon... you look sensational."

She flushes pink, leaning breathlessly into Rob, her hello barely heard.

"Well, you know what they say about the best things in life don't you Vicki?"

I roll my eyes as we sit, taking up Rob's hand and playing with it idly. "Yeah, so it was a freebie, don't rub it in. Can you believe she got Dennis to pay for that?"

Rob's eyes widen. "Really? I'm impressed."

"Exactly, I mean, would you stump up nearly €250 for your sister?"

"For a dress? Get real, I'd get her hammered on tequila instead!"

"Yeah well, don't listen to her, Rob." Sharon advises with a smile, hitting me playfully. "She's making it sound like Dennis is picking favourites and he isn't, cos someone got a very expensive bag out of our little excursion this afternoon... though of course, if he was picking favourites, it'd be me!"

I cough indignantly. She obviously wasn't looking at the bag closely enough! "What makes you say that?"

She smirks, resting her chin against her palm. "Well, I'm the oldest aren't I?"

"Yeah, which means you're always nagging him for leaving his trainers in the hall, losing his keys and swigging out the juice carton!"

"Er, I think you'll find that's you... bloody hell, how many times have I had to get you a key cut this year already?"

"Alright, alright!" I laugh gently, holding my hands up in defeat before letting one fall around my purse. "Now do you want a drink?"

But Sharon's already halfway up, her hand pressed over mine to make me drop my purse as she slowly shakes her head. "Ah! How are you expecting to get served miss? No, this one's on me. What are you after?"

"Red wine please."

Sharon's shimmering eyes widen in surprise as she takes in my words. "Gone off the illustrious cocktail list have we?" 

I grimace. "Couldn't take another one Sharon, please!"

She laughs as she turns away. "Alright darlin'. What about you Rob, what's your pleasure?"

"Just a pint for me thanks, Sharon!"

"Are you getting Dennis' in as well?" I call as she steps towards the bar. "I mean, he is still coming right?"

"Yeah, yeah, course he is - and how wrong can we go with a large vodka for 'im eh?"

I nod approvingly. Y'know, I'm not sure that Dennis drinks anything else at all!

I watch as Sharon leans comfortably against the bar, eyes locked on the barman's as she recounts her order. It's not him, is it?

"I think I should go and help her..." I mutter, already half-way up. But Rob catches my hand, well aware of all my crazy suspicions and he pulls me back down, shaking his head gently.

"Leave it Vicks, c'mon. Besides, he's gone now anyway, look."

I do so reluctantly. He's right. Sharon's turned the other way now, smiling as she talks to some random guy, a guest by the look of him that's just appeared at her side, swilling the dregs of what looks like a whiskey around in his glass as they chat. Now he's good looking. Is it him? I mean, he's already looking Sharon up and down in a way that's not innocent, but I guess there's no way it could be when she looks as good as that. Just... isn't all this a bit previous? If he's not the guy, then he's probably only just got her name, and he's already leering at her.

I can feel myself prickling uncomfortably. But Sharon seems OK, I guess what with first living in a pub and then running the club she's known for a long time how to handle herself in these sorts of situations. Cos less than a minute later, she's swept up our delivered drinks from the bar and with a polite smile at the guy at the bar and turned back to us, carrying all the glasses carefully in her hands. But I guess it's not easy trying to do that when you need to put one foot steadily in front of the other to get anywhere in shoes like that. Rob leaps up to carefully take two glasses from her and she smiles gratefully as she sets the other two down and sinks down onto the stool. 

"There you are babe." she says, handing over my wine.

"Thanks." I reply, letting my hand curl around the stem and taking my first grateful sip of the deep ruby liquid. But I've barely swallowed it down when I catch sight of Dennis striding in, eyes narrowed as he searches for us. He heads straight for me and I put my glass down, standing up and reaching my arms out to him.

"Hey Vicks." he says warmly, lips curved into a smile as he leans carefully over, pecking my cheek as he puts his arms briefly around me. "You alright?"

"Mmmm." I assure him, sinking down again. "Didn't have to drag yourself away on our account though?"

"From what?" he questions, wordlessly pumping Rob's hand.

"Whatever kept you. Or should we say who."

He shrugs, smirking. "You can say whatever you want sis." He twists his hip, facing Sharon, who seems to be looking rather intently at his untouched drink. Then she looks up at him and smiles awkwardly, before setting down her glass and getting up to brush his cheek herself. He obviously whispers something to her cos she starts to giggle, never quite letting the sound be born. But I know that's what she wanted to do, so what was it? The dirty details of what he was up to? God, how come it's suddenly alright for Sharon to know and not me? Not that I've never known in the first place, but it's the principle!

But whose got any of them left when they're planning to get rat-arsed?

57. Sharon

I can't help but be capivated by the way Dennis looks so privately amused as he gazes at the brimming glass set down on the table. He's just kissed Vicki's cheek and she's drawn back, looking pointedly at me. Reluctantly, Dennis follows her gaze, the corner of his mouth rising into a slight smile. Cos this is all so false. We both know I want damn sight more than a kiss on the cheek, but right now, that's all I'm likely to get. So, biting back my smirk as I allow myself to look back at him, I pull myself up, leaning in towards him.

It feels weird, it's not like we'd greet each other in this kinda way at home, but hey, whatever, I just need an excuse to be close to him right now, to have him touch me. And he does, pressing his warm palm gently into the top of my bronzed arm to draw me closer, kissing my cheek and then letting his lips brush my earlobe as he murmurs "You're no fun..."

I giggle quietly as I sit back down, unable to stop myself as I happily answer such a charge. I mean, there's being obvious and then there's being obvious; we both know I had to get the drinks in. Besides, I want the champagne I was promised, and if Dennis wants to remain popular with our little sister, then he best deliver. I didn't get dressed for nothing and he knows it - I was quite happy to stay in bed!

But that thought is obliterated from my head when Vicki settles herself, dramatically questioning; "When'd we get to meet her then?"

Dennis looks bewildered, blinking slowly in the face of the question as he dares to take a first sip from the drink he would rather wasn't there at all. Vicki, however, isn't focussed on his reaction. She's looking fleetingly in my direction, her pretty eyes narrowed as she asks; "It is "we" isn't it Sharon? I mean, you haven't met her yet, have you?"

I bristle, spluttering in surprise as I exchange a look with Dennis. Neither of us are liking this terrority, but then again, all I have to do is play along, and then it'll go away right?

"And why would I have met her, darlin'?"

Smiling, Vicki shrugs as her eyes dart between Dennis and me. "I dunno.... it just seems like you guys have been getting close recently..."

"Yeah well, why not?" Dennis questions, making the liquid in his glass bubble before he sets it down again and lifts his head to look at Vicki. "I'm nearly thirty Vicks, you didn't think I was gonna play on being the annoying little brother all my life did ya? Besides..." He turns his head and smirks. "...she's not that bad really..."

I throw him a look and he laughs quietly, turning back to his drink. Vicki's grinning at me smugly, feeding off the way I'm glaring at her.

"And that's what makes you favourite is it Sharon?"

I scratch anxiously at the back of my neck, muttering; "Oh Vicki, shut up..."

"Mmmm-" Dennis begins, looking over at Rob and making a quick swiping hand guesture across the table to indicate me and Vicki. "-do you have any idea what these two are on about, mate?"

Rob laughs gently as he nods. "Sadly Dennis, yeah. They're wondering which one of 'em's your favourite sister."

"What?"

"Think it's got something to do with the hundreds of pounds you spent on 'em both this afternoon!"

"Oh right, so that's what it comes down to being part of this whole crazy set up is it? That dress and that bag?"

Vicki grins again.

"You two are unbelievable." He copies my stance, his chin rested against his palm as he smirks across at me. "I'm surprised at you Sharon, thought you were opposed to be the mature one outta us lot?"

"Dennis!" Vicki gasps in horror, biting back a laugh as I fight the urge to kick the bastard under the table.

"What?"

"Now who's unbelievable? D'you know what "mature" means to a woman?"

"In your case darlin', it usually means you can stay out past midnight and not a second later!"

"Ha ha, very funny!" she says dryly, rolling her eyes as she takes a lazy sip of wine. "You don't go at the age issue, idiot. Sharon's as young as... whichever guy she's feeling!"

I splutter on my mouthful of drink as I can't help but start to laugh. I shouldn't really, not if she knew, but oh, every word she's coming out with right now proves she has no clue and I love her for it.

"You met him yet?"

"No! What is it with you two, why are you hiding them away? Hang on... are you like... talking to each other about these people?"

Her look is genuinely quizzical. But I'm aghast, I have to be.

"Vicki, why the Hell would I wanna talk to Dennis about my sex life?"

"Well, you're not exactly talking to me about it are you, and that hurts Sharon - you've got to be talking to someone!"

"Dennis?" I question immediately.

"Nope." he shrugs, looking pointedly at Vicki before turning back to me. "But by the look on her face, I'd say it's better if you start talking. What's he like?"

My eyes widen. "No!"

"Go on, you tell, I tell."

"I'm not telling you anything."

He sighs dramatically. "Sorry sis, I tried."

"Argh!" she cries in exasperation. "You two do my head in. As gross as it is, what the Hell are you two suddenly finding to talk about all the time if that ain't it?"

"Oh, will you shut up! Unless you and Rob wanna start sharing the details, then you can bloody well leave me and Dennis alone!" She grimaces and I pounce on that look immediately. "Yeah, see, it's gross isn't it? And given that I'm so mature-" I say curtly, glaring at Dennis out the corner of my eye. "-telling me would probably be just as bad as telling your mother right? So..."

"So what do you guys talk about then?" Vicki presses, never missing a chance to press the point as she rests her chin heavily against both palms, casing her face.

"The weather." Dennis teases. "Stock and shares, puppies... anything you like!"

Groaning outwardly, I drain my glass, slamming it down and muttering; "Another drink..."

Dennis' attention focussed on me when I slammed the glass down, his smile falls slightly and he's halfway up as Rob laughs; "Not that keen on the puppy idea then Sharon?"

I smile weakly and stand up quickly, telling Dennis; "I'll go."

His lips flicker to question me, but he doesn't say a word, accepting it and sinking steadily back down on the stool.

I turn towards the bar, that guy still stood there... Don I think he said his name was, I wasn't really listening, smiles as he sees me step forward. I return it politely, but to be honest, I can't be arsed with the attention. I just feel really... deflated and I definitely need this next drink to perk me up again. I should have known this was a bad idea. I can't keep going on like Dennis is one thing to me one minute and then something completely different the next. It's driving me very quietly crazy.

"Large gin and tonic please." I sigh, pushing my empty glass aimlessly forwards. I don't even see where it goes, resting my head against my palm and staring at the bar-top. I'm just grateful to feel the sympathetic tug as someone takes it. That is, until I hear;

"I'll get this one Andre!"

I look up in alarm, see Don smiling at me. You know what, I don't think I like it. All of a sudden, he's not as good looking as he might have been. I just want to crawl away, I want air.

"No... No, you really don't-"

"I insist." he nods gently, his hand brushing across my arm. I flinch. Somehow, it don't feel like an innocent touch, and there's no way it coulda been for as long as I know Dennis' eyes are burnt into my back, never leaving me, because if he knows me at all, then he knows something's wrong. And I don't want my lover watching this. I want to be able to handle myself, I'm Sharon Watts after all.

I push his hand away. "I'm fine, really. Thank you, but I pay my own way, always have done."

"Independent woman." he nods approvingly. "I like it."

My stomach lurches. I'm not asking you to like it. 

"What is it Sharon? You don't seem as though you're having much fun over there."

"I've had better times." I confess stupidly, regretting it immediately.

"Oh, I bet you have." I turn my head away, but that just means his breath goes across the slope of my neck as he steps closer, making my skin crawl as he leers in my ear; "Why don't we go have one of them right now eh? Just you and me..."

I freeze as I recognise the alien sensation of his hand, pushing back the laps of my skirt and stroking up my thigh.

"Get off me."

"C'mon now Sharon, don't tease. Just relax. After all, no-one likes a tease do they?"

"Please-" I whimper, so not wanting to draw attention to this whole thing, not with Vicki, not with Dennis in the room, even if I do hate how weak I am all of a sudden. back home, I'd have had scum like this bleeding from the effect of my nails. "just get off me. Please."

But he laughs, the cold and selfish sound mocking me. "Oh no, I don't think you heard me-"

"Sharon?"

I almost scream with relief as I hear Dennis raise my name softly from behind me, even if the knot of fear in my stomach tightens so much I think I'm about to be sick. Don leaps away, and Dennis notices with stormy eyes from where he withdrew his hand.

"What the Hell...?"

"Dennis, please... don't..." I beg him, unashamed to do so even as my voice threatens to crack with the effect of an oncoming sob.

"Was he coming on to you?"

I bite fiercely into my lip and stare at the floor.

"Look at me..."

But I shake my head, my neck twingeing with pain. I just can't do it.

Don laughs again. "Don't get all shy now sweetheart... not when we're getting on so well."

"Oh yeah?" Dennis demands, rounding on him with a tight smile on his lips. And that just makes me more nervous, because I know that smile, I think I might even fear it. Cos that smile means trouble and I never meant to cause any... I wasn't doing anything. "So why don't you tell me what the fuck you thought you were doing eh? Cos someone needs to break it to you... she's totally out of your league."

"Says who? You?"

"Oh, you don't wanna mess with me mate... cos I swear, you come near her ever again... I'll kill you. Alright? Great. Don't let me keep you."

And I hate how sincere the malice in Dennis' eyes is. Don tries not to show it, but he downs his drink uneasily, shaking as he glances at Dennis and leaves the bar, practically stumbling in his haste.

Dennis turns back to me and I smile weakly, needing to express my gratitude. "Thank you." I mumble. But with my next breath, I dissolve into silent tears. That was hideous. Sighing gently, Dennis envelopes me in his arms as I begin to shudder.

"It's alright, baby, it's OK..."

"No, it isn't." I sniffle, shaking my head fiercely against his chest. "I should have... I didn't want... he wouldn't... he was trying to touch me..."

"No-one'll ever... I'm here now, it's over... shhh."

But I can't, sobbing in fright as my own sister steps cautiously up to us, concern holding her facial muscles. "Dennis? Sharon?"

"What's happened?" Rob asks hesitantly.

Thankfully, Dennis doesn't release me, keeps stroking through my hair. "That guy..." he seethes. "...touched her up, the scumbag!"

Vicki gasps in horror, whirling round to Rob. "I told you something was up with him, didn't I? Didn't I? The bastard! Sharon... oh Sharon, are you alright?"

"Does she look it?" Dennis demands scathingly. But he regrets it as soon as he sees the hurt of this reproach flitter across Vicki's face. "Look, Vicks, I'm sorry. I didn't mean... just... let me take her outside for a second yeah?"

"I'll come too." she says immediately.

"No. No, I wanna do it. I sorted it, so I wanna make sure she's OK. Please?"

"Alright." Vicki relents with a sigh, catching Rob's hand to lead him weakly back to the table. "C'mon..."

Consoled only by the rhythm of Dennis' heartbeat in my ear, it takes a fair bit for him to make me move with him out to the foyer, outside onto the warm street. And even though it is warm, I'm still shuddering, so damn repulsed.

"Sharon?" my darlin' says gently, hesitantly taking up my hands in his. "Are you OK?"

I try to nod but find at the beautiful depth of his eyes that I cannot lie. "I feel dirty..."

"Why? What did you do? Nothing. It's not your fault darlin', it's not. It's just like... being at the club yeah, some other low-life trying his luck..."

"But it isn't. A-At home, I've always stopped it. And in there I didn't, because I was so scared..."

"I'd never have let him hurt you, y'know that."

"No I don't." I protest, shaking my head miserably against the cool brick wall. "You said you'd kill him..."

"Yeah and I bloody will if I see him again!" he asserts hotly, slumping against the expanse of wall beside me.

"Exactly. I know you woulda done right there, but you couldn't, cos Vicki... for all she knew I was enjoying it. But I wasn't. I hated all of that. Lying... having to make like you're seeing someone, I'm seeing someone... having to make excuses because she sees we've got a connection. That shouldn't be wrong and yet, I'm gonna have to apologise for loving you like I do, because I can't... climb out of your bed and look at you like my brother. Because..." I speak the words cautiously, tenderly caressing Dennis' knuckles with my thumb as I look at him. "...brothers don't flip when their sisters get attention darlin'. And you know what, I just can't take it anymore. Being in a room with you and having to... pretend, hold back everything that's real..."

Carefully, the tenderest smile curves his lips as his head lolls back against the wall, completely in line with mine. "So don't." he advises gently.

"But... Vicki...."

His heel scratching against the pavement as he rounds on me, the warmth of his welcomed body covering mine as his arms surround me, holding me close, Dennis reaches up and strokes strands of misplaced hair back from my face, speaking softly to me, such love in his tone. "...will have to understand. We love each other Sharon, and like you said, we can't help that. We're going to be together, yeah?"

I nod certainly, even as nerves still writhe. "Yeah."

He moves so slowly forward, allowing for my apprehension, my unease and probable rejection. And I love him for that as implicitly as I trust him. He's the only thing right now that's right, the anticipation of his kiss building inside me. His lips press softly down on mine and I pull him back harder, needing his taste, to have this sensation flood through me and make me his again, to make me Sharon.

And I'm so nearly there, so very nearly me when a steady voice we both recognise forces us to spring apart in alarm.

"I take it she's better then?"

"Rob..."

58. Dennis

Oh fuck, shit, shit and fuck. I don't even know where to look, defiance all that holds my gaze in Rob's direction, not even daring to blink. Oh God, he is really here, this is really happening. And Sharon's already trembling, stumbling over words she can't quite speak.

"Please- Rob..." she pleads quietly, taking half a step forward and then thinking better of it, perhaps suddenly without the energy to go nearer to him.

"Let me guess-" he laughs coldly, rolling his eyes in dismissal. "-it isn't what it looks like? What the Hell is wrong with you guys?"

"Nothing." I tell him with immediate curtness, not even flinching as he looks at me ludicrously, holding back a laugh of disbelief. 

"It's all making sense now i'n't it?" His eyes swerve disdainfully between us. "It's not the concierge bloke and it's not the waitress, cos you're sleeping together." I don't say anything, cos I'm just watching Sharon, biting guiltily into her lip, staring at the ground. And I'm scared, my stomach practically knotted with it. Because I think she's... oh God, she's going to... isn't she? And Rob don't seem all that impressed with silence. "Oh c'mon, someone deny it please, humour me, give me something light to tell Vicki eh?"

But as Sharon looks up in fright at those very words, my emotions remain thankfully level. "You're not gonna tell her..." I say softly. His eyes flame at the suggestion. "And you know why too. Who the Hell are you to her, Rob, really? Fuck all. She'd never believe you."

He scoffs. "I'm not about to keep your dirty little secret though am I? Because whether Vicki believes it or not, it's the truth isn't it? You're screwing your own sister!"

"No!" Sharon cries out in shaky protest, her beautiful eyes alive with fright I wish I had the means to take away. "It's not like that!"

But right now, I've got nothing but the gut-wrenching fear. Cos I hate uncertainity so damn much. It's taken me so long to know where it is I stand with Sharon when I feel so much and suddenly, it all stands to be torn apart again, but this time at someone else's hands. And somehow, it feels like that's gonna hurt more than if Sharon did it herself, like that first night. I know that that one thought is twisted and wrong, cos nothing could kill me more than Sharon rejecting me again, especially now. But right now, it hurts to see how weak she appears to be at being found out by someone, anyone. Cos I mean it, Rob's nothing to this whole equation and yet Sharon's still terrified. 

"Oh well, that makes all the difference then don't it Sharon? I mean, you're Vicki's sister, he's Vicki's brother and yet it's alright for the two of you to be fuck buddies?"

OK, I can feel the swirl of anger, but I'm surprised to find that Sharon leaps in there first, her heel clicking defiantly against the pavement. "What the fuck do you know?"

"Nothing Sharon, truly. You must be seriously messed up if you think this..."

"This is our business Rob."

"Oh yeah?" he challenges dangerously. "So when's Vicki get a look in eh?"

"We'll- We'll tell her when we're ready."

"Oh, I know what that means alright. That means you don't wanna have to deal with six of one when you've already had half a dozen of the other!"

"No!"

But he just laughs weakly, apparantly not willing to accept any of it. Instead, he turns to me. "I thought you were a bit too much of a nice guy. I mean, yeah, you're the little brother, you're supposed to be a pain in the arse, not stopping your sister from copping off!"

I tilt my head gently. "How the Hell d'you think you're talking to?"

"You tell me! She was crying yeah, and there's me and Vicki thinking she was gonna start having a panic attack, that you wouldn't have a clue what to do. Vicki was getting a bit frantic so I said I'd come check on you. C'mon Dennis, how many seconds was it before you had her up against the wall with your tongue halfway down her throat eh?"

Tugging her palms frantically through her hair, Sharon groans as she takes it upon herself to take in his words. "Shut up, shut up! Stirring it doesn't help alright? You've found us out and we admit it. Just tell us what you're gonna do."

Thoughtfully, Rob narrows his eyes. "Oh, now why would I wanna do that?"

"Rob, please. You've known Vicki less than a week, I've known... I've loved her all her life... I... we don't wanna hurt her..."

"Well you're gonna." he assures Sharon darkly.

"I know." she murmurs weakly, wincing as she forces her eyes shut and nods. "I know."

"Have you even thought what you're gonna say to her, how you're gonna justify what you're doing, or have you been too busy... doing it?"

"We're not justifying ourselves to you." I hiss contemptously.

"I suggest you try, Dennis. Cos if you love your sister as much as..." He glances pointedly at Sharon, who shudders in repulsion. "...this sister... then you'd be better off practicing the lines before you say 'em for real. And who better than a stranger to tell you if you sound convincing or not?"

"Whatever sick little game you're planning mate, I ain't playing."

"Oh now why doesn't that surprise me, Dennis eh? Wait, I remember... cos you're playing a sick little game all of your own, breaking all the rules! I mean... Sharon, I know about your adoption and everything right, but explain it to me... how is Vicki, as your dad's daughter your sister, but Dennis, that is your father's son... is fair game eh? Have you ever really got that one straight in your own head?"

Blanching her lip, she shakes her head. But her eyes seem to spring open and she looks right at Rob, a kinda unseen determination in that one glance. "No. No, I haven't. And I won't be trying again because it's too late."

"No, it isn't." he assures her softly, almost sounding sympathetic. "If you just give it up now, I don't have to have seen a thing..."

Oh God, oh no. He's offering her an escape route.

And I hate that I'm reduced to silently willing her; Don't take it baby, please don't. I need her too much. She's all I ever really wanted. And now I'm here, cos of some small minded fuckwit, doubting my darlin'. God, I feel so sick.

"C'mon Sharon, think about it. I mean... that day me & Vicki came into Dennis' room right... Vicki won't forget that because she worried about you all night, didn't think he'd look after you... how are you ever gonna look her in the eye and go "Oh yeah Vicki, well that night... I wasn't ill. I was just too concerned with having sex with our brother to be bothered with you that night sweetheart"? How are you really gonna say that without feeling ashamed?"

But Sharon seems to reel, some repulsed animation coarsing through her body. "You don't know what you're talking about. Be concerned for Vicki yeah Rob, be disgusted with Dennis and me, but don't talk you know like what goes on in my head, cos you don't." She shudders with the release of those words, like a weight has been lifted as she steps back towards me, defiantly locking her finger through mine and holding onto my hand. "Tell her if you're going to, go on. I'll admit, I'm scared, I'm really scared, but she has to know sometime because nothing's changed. I never wanted to lie to her, never. But I'll never be ashamed. It's not like I committed a crime. Neither of us have. We're in love and believe me, Vicki's not the only one that's gonna have to deal with that!"

59. Sharon

Fiercely clutching Dennis' hand, I force myself to put one foot in front of the other, just wishing that my step could be steadier as we move around Rob. We don't leave Rob chance for another words, because I don't wanna hear it. And I hate that I don't wanna hear it because... he might be right. He's a stranger, he knows nothing, but then, I don't either. I should, but I don't. I can feel the sob of regret pressing painfully in my throat. I turn my head, forcing myself to look at Dennis. And as I see the subdued panic on his beautiful face, I know that something's wrong. Because he's trying to hide it. It's really wrong. And I can't handle it.

I pull my hand from his and turn away, breaking into a run. But where the Hell am I gonna hide?

"Sharon!"

I don't know what's wrong with me. It's all a mess, it doesn't make sense. But surely if I'm running... trying to hide... and he's following me... isn't that supposed to tell me something? That I should stop running? But I can't. Because the tears are coming, hot and fast. And what gave Rob the right to do this to me?

Veering around the corner, I slam miserably into the wall, pounding my fists against the brick.

"Sharon..." Dennis murmurs again in a laboured breath, uncurling my shivering hand and holding it against his own as he tries to meet my eye. "...look at me." 

But I shake my head fiercely, staring guiltily at the ground as the tears blur my vision.

"I'm so proud of you..."

I laugh weakly as I wipe at my eyes. Then I look at him and I love him so much it hurts, because it can never make sense. And it did, when it was just us, in that dream, what felt right, it was so good. And now it has to be real and I don't know if I'm brave enough. The words are easy enough on Rob, his opinions will never matter to me, his empty threats will never hurt me. But this... this is gonna crucify Vicki - and it's still not within me to say I'm sorry.

"Tell me what to do, Dennis..." I plead shamelessly. "...tell me you know what to do."

But he just looks at me, shaking his head sadly. "I can't." Then, he glances at the ground as I have done, pain so alive in his face. I can see words pulsing in his throat. And he struggles with them because I know he doesn't really want to speak them. "Do you want... us... to... to stop?"

I reel in horror. "We can't!"

"Yes we can." he assures me bravely. "I'm not exactly sure how right now, but if that's what you-"

"D'you love me?" I demand in a whisper, almost frightened to hear his reply. But there's nothing to hear because, looking me right in the eye, he nods steadily. I dare to breathe the smallest sigh of relief. "Then it's too late... cos I love you too. And I'd sooner Vicki hated me for that than have to pretend I don't... I'm way too old for play pretend."

Smiling softly, he raises his hand to tenderly stroke hair back from my face. "Then how come you're playing now?"

"What? I'm not-"

"Yes you are. It's OK to be scared Sharon. I might not like our choices but... I understand."

"No you don't." I argue gently, tracing the outline of his soft lips with the pads of my thumbs. "You shouldn't have to. Two minutes ago, I was brave enough that... that I coulda told Vicki.... just to do something for you... something right for us. And if I'm not... if I can't... I don't wanna lose you..."

"No. I know and it's the last thing I want an' all, but... she's your sister. I just turned up right?"

"That doesn't mean you matter to me any less. I love you... God help me. And I don't know about you, I'm in too deep. I... I can't do what Rob wants. I can't pull back and call you my brother cos that... that's what's sick. Seriously, how would we ever look at each other without thinking... about us? And Vicki... she ain't stupid, she'd know that's what we were thinking... once we tell her, she'll know that... that we can't play happy families, y'know?"

"I'd try." he mumbles sincerely, bowing his head against mine. I stroke ifly up the back of his neck, needing to touch him, to know that it's right. "If that's what you needed, I'd try."

"And that's sweet Dennis, really, but I need you. I guess I didn't know it til now, but I need you. I don't wanna hurt anyone and whatever I do now, I'll hurt someone. And this time, it has to be Vicki because I couldn't bear to hurt you like that again. I swear, I never meant..."

"Shhhh...." he soothes in a distracted whisper, drawing me closer. "...we've been through this, it's OK."

I nestle desperately into him, shaking my head feverishly to dispel his words. Because it's not OK.

"I won't do that..." I murmur frightfully against his ear, more willing myself to hold this resolve. 

As shocked as I might have been to begin with, all Dennis has ever done is love me like no-one else ever has. There's something totally new in the way he's so strong and so delicate all at once, the way he touches me, makes me feel so sexy, even if it's with nothing more than words. He wants to look after me in a way that keeps everything so exciting and alive. We really have something, I'd never have dared to create it if I had any doubt we could have something real. But could we stand to be everything to each other? Because it might well end up that way.

"I know. So... you and me then?"

And the way he raises those words so lovingly, oh it makes me brave, quashing the fear that threatened to ravage the strength he gives me, everything he holds me as he does now, believing in me, in us. I draw back, studying him contently. He's so beautiful, even when all we're left with is doubt and fright, forced inside us both by someone that has no clue as to what we really feel. This isn't some cheap, throw-away fling. That might well have been Dennis' forte, but I could never believe that's what he wants me for. Even he wouldn't take such a stupid risk. He loves Vicki too, it'd have to take something really important to him to hurt her. Me. I can't help but feel like a weapon of choice, but as I look at him, at least I know I am loved. Really and truly.

Closing my eyes, needing to block out everything and every threat from around, for it to be just us, I tenderly press his mouth.

"Mmmm. Just you and me."

60. Dennis

We just started walking together, further and further into the warm and darkening night, with no idea where we were heading and not really caring. All we needed was to be out of the proximity of the hotel and... and Rob. I can't quite work out how I'm supposed to feel about the guy now. I mean, could it really have been worse if Vicki herself had come out and seen us like that? OK, so the initial shock woulda been nasty, but at least then it woulda been done. I'm so sick of sneaking around, making it seem like I'm ashamed when I'm not, when I never will be. But that's how it's gonna have to be now, cos Rob knows what Vicki doesn't. I hate people having power over me. Especially meaningless fuckwits like him. Yeah, so he reckons he's got a thing for my little sister, great. That don't mean he has any kinda right to do this to Sharon and me.

I wish I knew what it was he was doing, besides enjoying acting like an absolute arse, because then I'd know what to do and Sharon'd be more settled. But she ain't. Even now, she's walking half a pace in front of me, anxious as Hell. She needs to escape. Maybe I should just be glad she's choosing to do it this way rather than the way Rob offered her. Seriously, did he think he was helping, that she'd be grateful and bite his hand off like a puppy? I hate that for that second, I didn't know what she was going to do. I know what I'd have done and I guess that's all I had to believe in, so damn relieved as Sharon stepped back and took my hand. I swear, I've never held on so tight.

But at some point, I was stupid enough to let go because otherwise she'd be as close to me now as she was then. And she isn't. Because though she hasn't said it, I don't think she'd dare to speak of it in all honesty, the bastard's put the fear of God into her. I just know it, and I need to be the one that can dispel it because I need her. I need her so much it hurts to contemplate. If I lose her now, at any time, what the Hell have I got? Cos I am not gonna let the guilt get me. This is too good for that.

But as Sharon slumps down on the wall surrounding the beach front, we have somehow aimlessly arrived here, I see, however fleetingly in her face that maybe she don't believe that anymore. And then it comes again... that moment of gut wrenching panic. Did she ever believe it? Really?

She sighs gently as she lifts each of her feet in turn up out the wall, loosening the strap of her heels and pulling them off. She sees me stood uneasily beside her and she flicks her hair back, smiling weakly as she pulls herself back up, throwing off my shadow as she does so. I'm still stood there uncertainly. I want to reach out and hold her hand in mine but I don't think I dare. Because maybe it's different now.

But then again, maybe it isn't. Because Sharon steps up to me, kinda flopping against me in defeat as she winds her arm around my back, still as silent as ever.

Grateful to be holding her close once again however, I pull her in just that little bit tighter, filling my head with her perfect scent. I just... I don't wanna think about anything. I just want us to stay this close as we walk. But still, her silence is unnerving. God knows what could be going round in her head and I just can't let it. We're about a third of the way along the glittering water's edge when I find that the tight nervousness in my chest has become unbearable. The heavy breath I release is painful as I twist in my hip. As Sharon's arm drops away, her whole body seemingly flinching in surprise, I catch her hand, cradling it in both of my shivering own, speaking down to her shapely, gleaming nails, too afraid my nerve will desert me should I look up into her face.

"Talk to me..."

She giggles nervously, and I hold on obstinately as her hand begins to quake against mine, because I don't want her to pull away. I swallow my nerves down painfully and look into her captivating eyes, pained as I see she looks as terrified as I feel.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to say." she confessed, an edge of guilt in her swaying voice.

"Whatever's in your head.... please Sharon..."

She tries to smile, but I know it's not real and she looks down, scuffing her toes into the sand as she mumbles; "There's too much..."

I lick my lips nervously, loathe to admit this, but knowing I have to. "I'm scared too y'know."

Sharon looks up immediately, a sharp gasp of fright preceding her. She shakes her head sadly, gripping my hand. "But we can't be. We can't!"

I look back at her doubtfully. "You tryin' to tell me you're not?"

"You know I am Dennis." she says weakly, sounding so much like she's all out of will. "I'm scared of everything."

I shake my head gently, loving how I know I can dismiss her words, tenderly stroking her warm cheek with the pad of my thumb. "You know that's not true darlin'. If it was... then I'd have gone half crazy by now. I know it's scary yeah, but it isn't gonna matter who knows... I'll still need ya."

 "At least we can say we tried now eh?"

"No." I say firmly. "Fuck trying Sharon. Me and you... we're here now... this is who we are. I don't wanna make it be any other way... do you?"

Bowing her head, a lot like she's been shamed, Sharon bites into her lip and shakes her head feverishly. "Course not..."

"Sharon, look at me..." I demand firmly. I see her gulp down what I suspect is a sob as she lifts her head.

"I don't... I don't..."

"Then hold strong OK? We're gonna be alright. Whatever's said, whatever happens, we'll be alright, I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Dennis."

I reel back, stunned and a fair bit hurt for good measure. Surely she knows I'd do anything... 

Tears are beginning to brim in Sharon's perfectly made up eyes as she looks back at me, clutching my hand. "Don't you think I wanna make you promises too? That I wanna be so sure of myself that I can just know I'll never break 'em? Cos I'm not sure Dennis, I'm not and I hate it. Cos if I'm not sure then... we're not strong enough. And I need you so much. I'm a horrible person like that, always needing someone and now it's you. And what if it can't be? What if I hurt you like I did after... what if I can't make you happy? What are we then?"

"Together." I reply immediately. "And if you'll give me that Sharon then there's no way I'll ever be unhappy. And neither will you because... I just won't let it happen."

"I know..." she smiles softly, a little more conviction in it now. "...but.... if we do this, then it has to be forever. And you should never go into a relationship like that cos it's just so... alienating. And we can't pick apart our entire family if we don't know that we can be... oh... Dennis, I know how much you wanted to know your dad and if we do this then... I've taken that from you because it'll never be... normal."

"No." I agree steadily. "It'll be better... than anything. C'mon Sharon, you don't seriously think I'd have told you what I was feeling if... if I didn't think it coulda been something, something that really means something?"

"No..." she blusters, shaking her head and pointedly avoiding my eye. "No, I suppose not. But darlin', what we're feeling... it doesn't mean anything if we haven't got a future together. That's what we need to be sure of before we do this. And we're not sure, Dennis, be honest. I mean, where d'you see us in six months? A year? Five?"

Her words come out in such a frightened and confused rush none of them register. They just feel huge and I have no words. She's asking me to consider all of our tomorrows at once, in this moment when the sun hasn't even gone down on this one day, here and now. And her eyes don't leave my face, swerving manically to drink in every detail. And as silence prevails, she looks down again, idly swinging her shoes from one hand, squeezing my hand gently in the other before she pulls away, sighing in defeat as she declares;

"It's alright, I don't know either."  

61. Sharon

I watch his lip involuntarily tremble and my stomach lurches with fear. Hastily, I drop his hand and turn away. I can't watch him cry. If I have to cause it, then bloody Hell, I can't be made to watch it.

"And that kinda says it for us don't you think?" I say in one great rush, the words just tumbling out so that I'm forced to speak them, so I can't take them back. Because if that's the way things are, then there's only one way to make anything any easier. I hate it, it isn't my choice and I instinctively know it isn't Dennis' either. But maybe we're all out. Maybe there's not really any other way this can be.

Out the corner of my eye, I see Dennis bite forcefully into his lip, wanting to control the quiver as we both feel everything else slipping away. 

Silently, he steps up beside me. Slowly he blinks. And then he says; "Don't say anymore... please?"

How tenderly he pleads, trying so hard not to let it seem that way when we both realise it could be no other, it hurts. I sigh gently as I turn in, forcing myself to look at him. "This is never gonna be anything..."

"How do you know?" he demands, the shivering of his voice betraying him a little. "Sharon, c'mon, we're not even trying..."

"Because we don't know what we're trying for!" I point out desperately.

"This isn't you..." he says weakly, shaking his head to dispel my words. "I know it isn't. If Rob hadn't... then you wouldn't- and we'd still-"

I sigh dismissively and my darlin' seems to sag a little further as he realises it. "It was always gonna be this way... we just don't wanna admit it. We were always gonna be found out..."

"Yeah... and you said... you said we'd be together... why don't you still want that Sharon, what have I done?"

"Nothing!" I assure him breathlessly as hurt shadows his face. "I do want that. I do. But... what are we gonna do eh?"

He stammers nervously beneath the weight of the question. "What am I supposed to say? What? That we'll get a dog... get... get married... h-have kids, what?"

Tears brim in my eyes as his words spill out in this frustration. But it's not for how he says it. It's because he says it. Everything I truly want and everything I will never have. Ever.

"We just don't know enough about each other do we darlin'?" I say sadly.

Swinging my shoes weakly, I fix my watery eyes to the sand and move past him quickly, sending up dusty clouds as I go, inwardly promising myself I will not cry even as the tears burn.

But I have barely gone a full pace when I feel Dennis pull my round by my elbow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It doesn't matter..."

"Don't you dare!" he hisses, shaking his head in angered disbelief as his devestating eyes burn into me. "Don't you dare say it doesn't matter when you're about to walk off, like I was never anything when you're everything. Tell me what you mean."

"I mean we're never gonna work." I say gently.

"Why?" he demands, not even blinking.

"Because... we just won't. There's nothing!"

"Liar!" he cries, shaking me a little. "I love you... and you said you love me too... that's not nothing!"

"No, it's not." I agree shakily, swallowing down my reluctance. "But what happens when we need more? Cos I hate the idea of animals just as much as you hate the idea of dropping down on one knee just to keep me!"

"I don't hate the idea!"

I reel back, stunned to say the least. Love him I do, but Dennis... that committed?

"You don't know what you're saying..."

"Yes I do! Sharon, nothing else matters, we can be whatever the Hell we want. And I wanna be with you."

I relax for all but a breath as his arms encircle me, as though terrified I'll otherwise disappear. I mumble regretfully against his heaving chest; "But you want a family so much...."

He smiles fleetingly. "Then I guess me and you will have to start again..."

I go rigid, pushing him back with shivering palms. Tears are pouring freely from my eyes now; I can't even try and disguise it, even as I try and quash the droplets with the palm of my hand, pleading feverishly; "Stop... just stop..."

Realising he's said something wrong, although evidently not what, Dennis takes to biting into the cushion of his lip once again as I pace the smallest stretch of sand, wringing my hands anxiously together, even as I continue to hold my shoes.

"You just don't understand!" I cry out despairingly. "I love you for God's sake, I love you enough to turn round now and tell her, but I can't because I know I'll never make you happy! And I do know it, Dennis." I say warningly as he gives me a disdainful look. "I'll kiss you, I'll make love to you, I'll wake up beside you... but it's empty because I can never give you what you really want."

"What are you talking about?"

I almost manage to ignore his whispered words of confusion in all my hysteria. "I never thought you'd be the settling down type, but you are aren't you? You want what everyone else has got and so do I. I want it so much... I want it with you. But it's just not gonna happen."

"Why not?"

I make my confession miserably, my heart surely never having felt so heavy in all my life. "Because I can't have children Dennis."

As it registers, the corners of his soft mouth fall inevitably down, leaving him looking more like a confused little boy. It's all he can do to blink as if by delayed reaction and release a soundless "Oh..."

Unburdened and of course feeling worse for it, I step up to him, dropping my shoes pointedly into the sand. He looks down at their resting place with the smallest smile. I lift my hands to cup his face and bring his reluctant gaze back level with mine.

"Do you still wanna be with me? Cos I'm all you're ever gonna have... and I don't think that's enough. I love you Dennis Rickman. I love you cos of the bloody nerve it took to come out and say what you really felt. But I'm not selfish enough to hold you to it. There's more out there than just me. There's better...."

"No..." he protests tearfully, shaking his head even as it rests bowed against mine. "...there isn't..."

"Oh there is, baby." I whisper lovingly against his ear, hating how I begin to tremble as I am weakened. "I'm just... the first cut, that's all."

Dennis manages the weakest burst of laughter I have ever heard. I can barely humour it myself.

"You said you couldn't do this, Sharon..." he murmurs tiredly, wiping at his eyes and hoping I have not yet seen the tears.

"What?"

"Brothers and sisters. You said you couldn't pretend there was nothing between us."

"There is something between us Dennis darlin'... there's Vicki. And she's the only real family the two of us are ever likely to have. We can't just throw her away."

"We wouldn't do that."

"Wouldn't we?" I press, doubtful somehow. "So what would it do to her when we had a fight... me and you? Or we... we split up? What's she ever supposed to think of us? Please Dennis, think about it. What if... we stopped loving each other? It's hard enough when things go wrong, but because of Vicki... our family... we'd never be away from each other. And if you're already hurting... it'd destroy us both. Everyone else had years to be sure of their future darlin'... we have until Rob tells her about us... maybe he already has... and we just don't know... It has to stop."

62. Dennis

I just stare at her, not quite knowing whether I'm incensed or just broken. I don't believe this. This isn't really happening. It can't. I won't let it. How... How can Sharon... how can she bear to? I mean, I know she's scared, she has every right to be. I'm scared too. And I know that don't help, but I am only human. Or does she think I just decided to let myself fall in love with her on a whim, to see how far she'd let me take it? Defensively, even though she hasn't said another word, I reel back. I bet she does, I bet she thinks all of this comes down to sex; that she can say it has to stop and it will, as simple as that.

"But it won't..." I announce gently, despising how my voice sways. 

I just want to dispel the horrible silence that has come to settle over us both, to estrange us. I want to pretend it was never there and most importantly, I want Sharon to see sense. But it don't look as though she wants to see anything much at all, flinching as I began to speak. She just wants me to go away quietly, for everything to just fade away. But I know I'm right... it won't.

"What did you think was gonna happen Sharon?" I question with a pained interest. She doesn't say anything at all, just bites into her glossy lips and tries to look away, somehow never quite avoiding my imploring gaze. "You'd click your fingers and we'd just... stop feeling everything?" She bites harder still into her lips and I can tell she's fighting to hold back a whimper. I just step up to her, burning to know; "When did you get that cold?"

She looks up at me in a pained jolt, having truly absorbed my words. 

"Go on... tell me... cos it sounds like I need to know. How are you gonna make this go away?"

She mumbles something unintelligable.

"What?"

Without having taken in one full breath, she repeats herself, her words still little more than a tired murmur. She keeps her gaze averted from mine as I question her, her head turned so she might focus instead on the sea. Her shoulders slope, as though in defeat.

"I'll shut down..."

I blink, stunned. Because I know the words she's speaking aren't hers. They're mine. I accused Sharon of being shut down the very first night we... And still they sound so cruel.

But Sharon just seem all that wounded. She reads the regret in my face and smiles weakly, moving past me to crouch down and gather up the heap of her shoes on the sand.

"You weren't wrong you know." she says vaguely, as if she's not really talking to me at all. "I am shut down. I hated hearing you say it... because it was true and I never wanted to believe it. I suppose I've been like that in some way ever since Dad... went." She smiles wryly as she pushes herself back up, her toes sinking a little further down into the sand. I guess it must hurt to realise she was changed so much for no true reason. I kinda resent Den for doing that to her, because here I am and I'm going to lose her. "And everytime after that... whenever I was hurt, I closed myself off a little more, just to feel safe. I guess I'm like you that way... you never wanna admit you need people around you, so those that are... they're the wrong ones..."

She walks to my stilted pace, perhaps a little too nervous in her confessions to dare try and look into my face. Not that I would really want her to now because I'm uncomfortable in her truth. She's just as right as she says I saw. I never wanted to be alone, but it seemed to work better that way because... they were all the wrong people. Sharon's the only one that's ever been right and now...

"When my mum died... eurgh, I was a mess. Tom was the one that stopped me shutting down completely, wishing I could crawl away and die too. I was happy... but it still hurt. His illness, the way he tried to lie about it, that hurt... so I kept going with that way of trying to protect myself. I felt so lonely. I just wanted him to come to me before it was too late and there was nothing left of me either. And he did. He said he'd marry me... I thought I'd be happy for a little while longer. But then... the fire... he was gone and so was I. I wasn't anything. But I'm Sharon Watts right? Put the brave face on it, said I was fine. Everyone believed it Dennis, everyone. People I've known all my life really thought I was fine. Then you came. I'd never even known you existed and when... when you said that... about me being shut down-"

"Sharon..." I begin, guilt prickling uncomfortably on the back of my neck. "I didn't mean-"

"I hit out because... you'd only been around me for a few months and it felt like... first glance and you knew. You knew it was the truth. And I was angry because... why should you realise that when I had everyone else fooled? I didn't really know you... why should you know things I didn't trust anyone with?"

"You didn't trust me either..." I point out uneasily.

"Made it feel that way didn't I?" she says, with the smallest smile before her gaze rests upon the sand again, swinging her shoes as she carefully watches the imprint her bare feet are creating. "But it wasn't true. I didn't know that until..." She sighs softly, slowing up and turning in to face me. "Can't you see what... what that night was?"

Besides heart-breaking you mean?

Recognising I have no words to offer, she smiles again, tucking loose strands of her hair behind her ear. "Everything you said to me that night, do you know what I heard? You... almost a stranger telling me I could dare to be a person again, because you were there, feeling things you wanted me to feel too, like... I was still worth loving. And I acted like I did because I was scared, too scared to open up again because I didn't know how much it would hurt, if I'd be able to stand it. But then you got up to leave and it was there - the hurt. I didn't want you to go, so..."

"So you stopped me." I finish for her with a nod. "And then what Sharon eh? What was that really?"

"Us you mean?" she questions weakly, sweeping her fringe from her eyes as she presses her fingertips to her forehead. "Dennis... when I said I was ashamed of what... you know I didn't mean that don't you?"

"You had me pretty convinced." I admit reluctantly.

"I know... you had to be. I didn't want you any closer to the truth than you already were and... once we'd... I thought you'd... I thought you'd work it out..."

"What was there to work out Sharon? You rejected me! You used me..."

"Mmmm. And you used me too."

"What? No, I-"

But Sharon just casts me a doubting look. "So us sleeping together that night, that wasn't so I'd turn to you and say; "You know what Dennis, I love you too." That wasn't what it was about?"

She's backed me into a corner. "Alright!" I confess in a roar of exasperation. "So yeah, maybe it was! Where's my crime Sharon? At least I was honest about what I felt about you... at least I wasn't pretending nothing had happened before the sheets were cold!"

"Why won't you think?" she cries out despairingly, stopping short of tangling her clawed hands in her hair, instead curling them into fists of frustration that sink heavily to her sides. "I'm not like you were, I've never just gone to bed with someone for the thrill and gotten up ten minutes later, walking out of their life forever without knowing their name. Who it was always mattered, and you know that because that night it was you. I never told you to stop and I had long enough! I didn't because it mattered. You were there and you said you loved and I... I just didn't wanna disappear completely... and for as long as we were there together Dennis, I loved you too, I did because it felt like you'd seen me. I felt real, so I knew everything you said you felt was real too. And it terrified me. I was too scared to be open again, to feel. It didn't really matter we were supposed to be part of the family. It never even occured to me, not until I needed an excuse. I used it. I hurt you with it, Dennis because I couldn't bear to be hurt myself. We'd... made love and suddenly it was like you knew more about me than I could stand. I needed to hide... I needed to be shut down..."

"And is that what you need now? Because you're scared... is that what you really need?"

Tears slipping like miserable diamonds from her eyes, Sharon nods. I close my eyes, trying so hard not to feel the pain Sharon couldn't bear to.

"These last few days, I've been as open as I could ever have been. It's all I've got, Dennis, I'm sorry. I swear I love you, but it's never stopped hurting. I can't take running scared. I just can't take anymore."

63.

I try not to look at her, but all the same, I just can't stop. She looks so painfully beautiful, even as her eyes fill with tears she's not going to let fall. She'll stand here in front of me, trying to make like she is strong when she's just confessed that, as happy as she has been, here, with me, she's never felt any weaker. They are right then, whoever "they" are. It's why they tell you not to let it happen, because love does make you weak. Cos just like her, I have nothing without it.

I swallow down my screams of protest, having formed in my throat like the most painful lump, bite into my lip to keep all those desperate words back. I force myself to keep my voice as level as my gaze, every second I'm looking at her killing me just that little bit more.

"Right." I say slowly, blinking in recognition. "OK. So that's it then?"

Sharon whimpers quietly as she nods, neck jerking as she deliberately looks away, unable to take the intrusion of my gaze any longer. Silence descends to choke us both, but suddenly, there's one thing I need to know more than anything.

"What if Rob's already told her Sharon? What if Vicki knows? We gonna pretend like we were never anything or what?"

She struggles with the words. "We're... We're Vicki's family."

I laugh in quiet spite. I just can't help it - not when I feel this damn raw. "I love how you say that darlin', really. Cos Vicki is still just your excuse isn't she? After all this time, after... everything. You can't make yourself say we're each other's family because you know that's not how it works. It doesn't fit. It never will."

I turn away from her in disgust and begin walking back towards the road. Behind me, Sharon's voice almost cracks as she cries out desperately; "You said you'd do it, Dennis! You said you'd try!"

"Well, I lied!" I yell furiously as I round back on her from this distance, kicking up storms of sand. Just the words take such an effort, I feel like my chest has been torn open and my heart savagely beaten. I am literally in pieces, and I just can't let her see them fall. I try and pretend I can't feel millions of tears burning desperately in my eyes because... emotion is something I really do without right now. It'll kill me all on its own.

Sharon, having somehow found the nerve inside to step towards me, falls back mid-step, horrified by my confession it seems. 

Again, I laugh, bitterly this time.

"You didn't seriously think I could do this did you?" I question scathingly, moving back towards her. She winces and I can tell she's fighting the urge to step away from me. "I love you, Sharon. Do you even know what that took? It took everything I've ever had! And you're asking... no, you're telling me to just switch it off. I can't do that. I can't! And I know you're not gonna admit it, but neither can you!"

She looks down, and I can tell in the jerk of her neck she's shaking her head, hoping that with the way her hair falls around her face that I won't see, that I won't know.

When she lifts her head level again, stroking her hair back behind her ears, the tears have slipped from her eyes. "I'm scared..."

"I know." I reply shakily. "But... I'd be there too."

"Yeah?"

She raises that one word so softly, it makes my stomach lurch cos it's as if she doesn't dare to sound quite so hopeful.

"C-Course. Where else would I be?"

This time, Sharon keeps looking at me, her eyes piercing. "You don't want me to answer that."

I don't say a word, concentrating instead on not severing our eye contact, knowing that I defy her to answer me in just the look I return.

Sharon sighs heavily and drops her shoes into the sand again, turning them over with her toes and forcing her feet into them. Assured that they are secure, she moves over towards me. I understand what she felt as I went forward now, a great tug at the base of my spine by an invisable hand as it were, urging me to move back, escape her closeness, when minutes ago it was all I could have wanted. But she reaches for me before I have the energy to move away, her hands, although warm, affected by an emotive shivering as they close around my face.

"I know what it took, Dennis alright? I know. And I know it's real. But Vicki's innocent, she won't understand it. All she'll see is... her own brother and sister, lying to her... for the sake of sleeping together. That's not fair."

"No, it's not." I hiss savagely, throwing her off. "What is it with you? Why does it always come down to sex?"

She smiles weakly, the flicker in the corner of her mouth making it look as though she wants to laugh. A miserable laugh.

"You really think what we're feeling will matter to Vicki and Dad... the fact we love each other will mean anything?"

"Yes! It's not about them Sharon, it's not about anyone but us. You and me. I mighta said I'd try and be your family Sharon, but I was lying. I said it cos you needed to hear it. Is that what you were doing when you said you couldn't play happy families anymore? Telling me what I needed to hear?"

"No. No, of course not."

"Glad to hear it." I say stiffly. "Because you're not gonna have a happy family, Sharon. It's not gonna be brothers & sisters, all nice and normal. I can't play that game."

Her lip trembles and her eyes fill again as she looks at me pleadingly. "Dennis, please!"

But I'm unmoved, an edge of accusation in my tone as I speak next. "You said it was gonna be us, like we need to be!"

"I know." Sharon mumbles guiltily. "I know."

"You lied to me, Sharon. And you know what? I really don't appreciate it. You said you weren't gonna hurt me anymore and yet you know you're gonna kill me with this. Cos I ain't like you. I'm not just gonna shut down... this is bigger than that!"

"Stop it!"

Her first sob has burst free of her raw sounding throat, shattering her voice as it comes shuddering out like a wail, the tears by now pouring unashamedly down.

It breaks my already smashed heart a little bit more; the pain of being stood here, paralyzed in fear almost, watching the woman I love cry so freely, seeing no justified way out of this mess, and having nothing to offer besides my own agony. So I do the only thing I can. I turn away, resume my walk back to the road. I leave her there. I hate myself for it, but she won't allow me close enough to make it right. She's forcing herself to close down in front of me, and I can't watch that, knowing I've lost the only good thing in my life.

Only, even as I walk, she's not completely gone, the still air determined to come to live and carry the sound of her pain, every tearing sob across to me. Somehow, it acts as the most taunting caress and so many times I stop and I listen, hating every second. I want so much to turn around, and put my arms around her, pull her close and swear to her I can make it right for us. But I can't. Because she's forcing herself to believe there never was an us. We never were.

Back on the kerb, I gratefully drink in the distractive busyness of the road, even as the approaching lights burn at my eyes and the sounds, each of them seeming a thousand times louder than they would normally be, makes my head swim. And yet, none of it seems to drown out Sharon's sobbing. I try and assure myself that it can't still be going at such a level, that I'm simply replaying, torturing myself with what I heard before. But I know I don't believe it. I wince at the pain in my neck as I reluctantly turn my head and redirect my gaze across the beach, flinching as it settles instinctively upon my lover.

No... my sister...

But those treacherous words are never going to ring true. Because no sister would sob as Sharon does, curled up rocking against her knees as she sits upon the dusty sand. I swear, even from this distance, I can still see how terribly she shudders as more tears, more sobs escape her. I'll never believe she cries like that because I won't be her brother. She's forced away what I really am, and she can bear it as much as I can.

It's in a daze that I find myself back at the hotel. Just the sight of it repels me, because as far as I know, Vicki and Rob are still there, and he's either enjoying what he's done to Sharon and me, or he's shattering Vicki too, just for entertainment and then calling it the moral high ground. Bastard. I hate him so much.

That's an emotion I recognise, but it's overriden by the one I'd give anything not to feel. I bite even more fiercely into my lip, trying to hold back that shuddering, that swelling lump rising in my throat, the hot tears pricking in my eyes. I bite down harder and harder for the every second I think I might crack and so very soon I'm positive I can taste blood filling my mouth. I swallow that down too, choking miserably upon it. 

Soon I can not hold back the shuddering, but I will not allow myself to cry. I won't.

Although, as I catch sight of Sharon coming weakly towards me, it's very hard to not just give in, just at the sight of her. I don't even know how long we've been apart, with no concept of time, of how long I have left her to cry alone. It barely looks as though she has stopped, her cheeks still shining with the tracks of oh so many.

She steps up beside me, her heels clicking against the ground. She sighs, hunching her shoulders before letting them sink sadly as if to say Well, here I am... what do we do now?

"H-Have you been back inside?" she asks hesitantly before that awful silence can swoop down between us again.

I don't move, I don't speak. I just look at her. She derives her own conclusions from that.

"Right..." she says bravely, in one huge, painful breath. "...well, we should. C'mon."

She turns away immediately, but I reach for her hand and pull her back around. She looks down frightfully at our connection. Is that how it's gonna be from now on? Her, terrified, in case we even touch?

But I drop her hand anyway, only needing to get her attention. I lift my hands and silently sweep the last of her tears from the corner of each eye with the pad of my thumb. She smiles, letting go of the smallest laugh too as she realises I just can't watch her cry anymore. In fact, I can't very well look at her either. I love her too much and she wants to make it too different.

"You go..." I advise her, voice cracking as I speak and having to hastily having to clear my throat. "...I need a fag."

She nods in understanding, but has to ask, nerves heightened in the delivery of the question; "You will.... won't you?"

"Oh yeah, I'll come back in, don't worry." I assure her darkly. "Just... by the time I've finished, I pretty much need to be dead inside don't I?"

She flinches at the way I chose to put it, recognising her own words. "Don't-"

But I cut across her. "Just go Sharon, OK?"

She definitely didn't need telling twice. So I'm there alone, backed up against the wall, dying in the shadows. My hands fumble instinctively for my cigarette packet, but I'm shaking so much as the bastard emotion takes hold that I can feel it slipping from my grasp even as I draw it out my pocket. In frustration, I hurl it blindly out across the road and throw myself back against the wall, sliding down to the floor and letting that first sob tear through me. So many others come and I just can't breathe. But I don't care. I only care that I am this weak, that I am this alone.

I don't know how long I was there for. I only get up when it's obvious I am incapable of producing another tear. face felt sore with the effect of all of them, my chest ripped in two for the sobs and my head ready to explode. I still don't care. At least physical pain is something I know. Cos I sure as Hell don't know, or have anything else anymore.

Sluggishly, I force back to go myself into the bar. I don't care much in besides the fact the lights are too bright and it feels like there's too many people being way too loud. I pick out my sister, refusing to register anyone around her, even though I can't help but see Sharon, looking all the more fiercely into her large glass of wine as soon as she saw me coming.

I let myself drop heavily against the stool. I don't smile, I don't say a word.

And Vicki leans forward, her face awash with concern.

"Are you alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" I snap, immediately regretting it. But Vicki doesn't really seem to notice.

"Well, have you got hayfever or something? Only your eyes are really red..."   

64. Sharon

As Vicki says the words, my stomach lurches so unfavourably, I think I might slump over the table. But I steel myself with an unnoticed gulp of air I'd rather didn't burn so in my lungs and force myself to not raise my gaze. I can feel the back of my neck prickling shamefully, my palms beginning to sweat guiltily. I curl my hand tight around my wine glass, pressing harder still as I raise it to my lips, drinking deeply, desperately. My knuckles are so white, it's a wonder the glass hasn't shattered, sent the liquid cascading over my fist. 

Oh, what a stupid thought Sharon, why even bother to think it?

Because otherwise I'll have to look at him.

I do so fleetingly and it's like... I don't know, being stabbed hard in the chest with a blade of ice. Because he's not with me, around me. No, he's just there, opposite me, silent and sullen, his eyes as empty as any two pools could be. So many tears have left him in my rejection, but that was never what it was! I'd never have chosen to do this for the fun of it. Because I love him still, even as this stranger, eyes indeed rimmed with startling red, when not very long ago, I would have been adamant that for his looks, charms and copious wrong-doing, he'd never known emotion in his life.

And yet... drinking deeper still from my glass, as if I possess a thirst no liquid will quench, but oh... only guilt makes me gulp... I think I've broken him. His arms folded defensively across his chest as he slumps moodily down, almost as if he wants to disappear from sight, no more so than mine. His lips are pressed tightly together, completely drained of colour, as if they are not there at all. With a wince, I understand. He's not going to say a word. Why should he trust me with a syllable?

"Sharon-" Vicki begins bravely, as stunned to see the silent state of Dennis as I am and deciding it'd be much better to turn her attention to me. "-don't you think you should slow down a bit?"

Truly, no, I don't. Right now, there doesn't seem to be much more comforting than drinking myself into oblivion. But to declare that would require reasons I just can't give. Not while Rob sits there, so serenely silent.

I think I've done this all for nothing.

"Maybe." I mumble guiltily, pushing the drained glass away.

Vicki purses her lips, releasing a sad little sigh. I flinch in surprise as she reaches over to lay her hand over mine. I'm too late to recoil in horror as I want to. I simply shift uncomfortably in my seat, unable to raise a meant smile in her direction, because I can feel Dennis' blank eyes burning scathingly into the back of Vicki's hand. It's as if mine singes beneath it.

"Sharon, are you alright?"

"Oh Vicki..." I sigh despairingly, pressing my hand to my forehead as I hold my weight upon my bent elbow. But she raises her eyebrow questioningly, her smile tight. She's not about to believe my excuses. My gaze can't help but flicker accusingly at Rob, but he dares to look perfectly normal and uninvolved in any sort of turmoil when he... when he has caused it all. "Just leave it will you? It's over now."

Her face creases in confusion, but she is the only one not to capture my attention. Dennis flinched as I said the word, his silent lips curving into a sneer that doesn't look befitting of him as he turns his head away in disgust, apparantly transfixed by some none sight on the wall opposite. And Rob, well, his back seems to straighten of its own accord, looking as though it sends the rest of him into a much unanticipated spasm as he is thrown up. He doesn't say a word, oh no, he lets innocent Vicki do the talking. But amongst his obvious astoundment... he looks smug.

Dislike stirs all the more fiercely, interrupted only by my sister's words.

"What's over?"

To my unease, her gaze seems to swerve instinctively to Dennis. I cling desperately to her hand, fear rising inside as I will her not to have fathomed it, not when Rob, although aware, has remained obviously silent, and I let it go to protect her. But Dennis doesn't seem to share in any similar nervousness. He looks coldly back at her, rebuffing her accusatory inquisitive in a glance, lazily shrugging his shoulders.

"What you looking at me for?"

Vicki narrows her eyes, undeterred. "If you've been messing things up for Sharon..." 

"Me?" he hisses, giving out an incredulous laugh, cold and high. His eyes find me a moment later, making my stomach jolt in the unkindest way he could insist upon as he states matter-of-factly; "She doesn't need me for that."

I look down shamedly, somehow gripping Vicki's hand all the more tighter. I'm sure I hear her wince. But she covers it well and leans in closer, murmuring; "What's happened Sharon?"

"I told you-" I mumble childishly, stroking between her long, thin fingers just to occupy myself. "-it's over."

"What is?" she presses, a little more desperately.

I look into her eyes alone. "I finished it."

She nods, but that doesn't mean she understands. Now, there is no need for her to. Her lips quiver because she's not sure what words she is supposed to speak. "With... With this bloke?"

I gasp frightfully, feeling tears prickling in my eyes and reassuring myself with the stupidest lies. I tell myself there's no-one else here but Vicki and I. "Oh... don't say that." I plead in a whisper, for I can manage little more, gently shaking my head, refusing to allow myself to register the sight of the man I speak of slumped still at my sister's side, bound to be unmoved by a word of it. But I don't think it really matters whether he's there or not. I need to say it. Always, always, I will defend him. "He was more than that, Vicki. He was special."

A chill tears painfully through me as Dennis gives out a quiet laugh of unsuppessed scorn. "Oh, I bet he's really feeling that Sharon, bet that makes all the difference... ow!"

It is with a few seconds stunned delay that I realise Vicki has kicked him hard under the table, scowling. He just glowers back at her and I blink back the brimming tears, wanting to turn to my sister and say that I deserved every word. In fact, they were probably the tamest I'll hear from now on.

"Right OK..." Vicki says softly, pressing into my hands that have begun to shiver. "...so why's it over then?"

"Too complicated." I whisper sadly.

"Oh, that can't be true can it? C'mon Sharon, you just needed some fun that's all. And I know you like him, I can tell..."

"D'you hear that Sharon?" Dennis says vaguely, a cruel smile twisting his lips like he might be about to tell a joke. "Vicki can tell."

I bow my head further, trying to fight the force of the bastard sob swelling painfully in my throat, because I can feel his coldness wrapping around it and striving to choke me simultaneously.

"Will you give it up?" Vicki cries testily, shooting Dennis a very dangerous look as he rises.

"Oh whatever!"

"Where are you going?" I question weakly. Dennis falters, not entirely sure whether or not I am speaking to him as I refuse to lift my head while tears still burn so obviously in my eyes.

"To the land of the pissed and free..." he mutters sarcastically, this time ignoring Vicki's incensed glare. I lift my head and pull myself up, thankfully appearing a lot less shaky than I feel. I think I even manage to smile, but I can't be sure because the sensation that steals my lips feels so alien.

"Sit down."

He gives me a weird look, one that's kinda mixed with mistrust and I don't like the way that feels. I spoke softly, without the energy to speak in any other way. I'm not trying to threaten him, I'm not about to douse him in vodka. To be honest, all I want is the chance to escape, forget I said a word. Because he obviously wanted not to hear any of them. I guess honesty really is painstaking. Pulling in a reluctant breath, I turn in the direction of the bar. I have not however, set one foot in its direction when I hear someone scrape their stool back and I stupidly dare to hope that Dennis has chosen to ignore me for the sake of accompanying me. Not that he needs to, and not that I know what I'd do for just those short moments alone in his presence. I just know, however sullen he may be, in his presence I need to be.

Only, it isn't his voice that reaches me. And it isn't Vicki's either.

"I'll give you a hand Sharon, get a fresh round in."

I shudder in repulsion. But I must swallow down the words in my throat to refuse him, forcing myself to nod.

But I head to the bar before he reaches me, already having placed an order with the barman, expertly choosing to forget Rob. But he won't forget me, sidling up to me. I edge away on the pretext of leaning across the bar on my arms.

"You did it then?" he whispers.

I scowl at him. "Who the Hell do you think you are? None of this was for you. I did this for Vicki! Does it feel good to you does it Rob, backing innocent people into corners like this?"

He blinks at me in astonishment, the curve in his lips foretelling his amusement. Truly, it's taking all my strength not to hit him. I really can't, cos I worry if I do, I'll never stop. He has no right...

"What you were doing wasn't innocent!"

"And what has what we were doing got to do with you? You're no-one, you're nothing! Dennis and Vicki are all that matter! And he'll never forgive me for doing this to him again! And I wish I hadn't!"

"If you mean that-" he says calmly. "-then your sister means nothing at all." 

"Don't you dare-" I hiss dangerously, struggling to keep my voice to an unheard level. "I love him Rob, alright? And whatever you've made me do tonight, whatever your threat has forced me to change, that never will. You can think whatever your tiny little mind will let you, but I love him." Drinks are set in front of me by the barman, eyes darting as he senses the unpleasant tension building between Rob and me. "You take those." I say still, not taking my cold eyes from him, even it seems, as I shove roughly past. "I'll be back in a minute. I have the overwhelming urge to be sick..."

65. Dennis

I don't know how long I managed to stay there. I didn't want to be there at all, and I think they all figured it by the way I couldn't bring even the slightest edge of tolerance to my voice. I tried not to speak at all, and the way I sat there, sullen like a child, I think they all realised it. Especially Sharon. I mean, Vicki gave up pretty quickly trying to entice me into idle conversation, tiring of my moody silence, but Sharon... I couldn't take my eyes from Sharon. Wherever she went, my gaze followed. And when she was out of sight, I too was put-out, a stirring in the centre of my chest screaming that I no longer trusted her.

When Rob followed her to the bar, my fist was clenched beneath the table, almost of its own accord. I hated him more than ever because whether she welcomed it or not, and I knew not, he was closer to her than I could be, than I could stand to be. But still, the realisation that she was no longer mine meant I had to lay the blame somewhere. And unfortunately, my innocent sister unwittingly offered herself up at the worst of times.

"I know you don't like him, Dennis..." she whispers, leaning privately in.

"Too right I fuckin' don't." I hiss, even though I know for sure she's not talking about Rob. I'm just too damn angry.

"You've got to give him a chance, whoever he is, for Sharon's sake! You saw the state she was in. She doesn't want it to be over and just because you..."

For no apparant reason, when of course there are so many Vicki can know nothing, my raw anger explodes. And this time, Vicki is fearful. It should be within me to hold back and protect her I know, but I'm just too raw. She blames me for Sharon's supposed misery when it was Sharon that chose to break me into a million miserable pieces, leaving me with no fuckin' clue as to how I should fit together again.

"Because I what?" I roar, wounded. Vicki springs back in alarm, and I see tears pricking in her soulful eyes. Regret stabs, but it's just not enough to reel me in again. I want to thrash blindly around, hit out, cause pain like I have been forced to feel. "What the Hell did I do? Nothing! I wanted her to be happy, OK? And she... how can it be special when she ended it? C'mon, Vicki tell me! It was her choice, I had fuck all to do with it! Alright?"

"Al-Alright." she stammers breathlessly, obviously frightened, her eyes shine so. "But... admit it... she doesn't want to end it. She said he was special, you heard her!"

"Well, she lied then didn't she?" I try to sound stiff and disinterested, but my own voice betrays me, swaying dangerously and threatening most obviously to shatter.

"I don't think so." Vicki replies, giving me an odd look. I try with all my deserting might to throw back a look of indifference. "I think he means a lot to her and... maybe you..."

"Why me?" I demand coldly. "What about you, Vicki eh? What about you? Wouldn't stop bloody interfering! All these questions; what's he like, why can't I meet him? Do you know how much she hated that? Don't you think she woulda just wanted to get on with it, to be happy? You just never stopped going on. So you know what? It might have been special, it really might have been - and you ruined it!"

Giving the most intense shudder, my little sister recoils, the tears no longer just in her eyes. No, they have sprung free, pouring miserably down her face. "I didn't, did I? I never thought... oh God, you're right. But I never meant to- I never meant-" But she seems lost to her own, completely non-existent, hideousness. I want to be sorry. So much. And yet all I can feel is my own bastard agony. Vicki's current sense of injustice and hurt is never even going to touch it.

I look down guiltily, fumbling with my hands, unable to make myself say a word. Silence, apart from Vicki's disgusted shuddering, it seems to choke me and I just can't stand it. Seizing determination as it floods mercifully through me, I get up wordlessly and stride towards the bar. I saw Sharon shove roughly past Rob. It didn't exactly look like a friendly conversation. My fist had uncurled beneath the table, almost with relief, a shred of trust restored in Sharon. The tiniest, most incensed shred.

I jerk Rob's arm, unceremoniously gaining his attention. "What did you say to her?" I growl, making it obvious I have no time for his protests or games. This is one arsehole that's messed me around way too much to try it now.

"N-Nothing."

I smile tightly. We both know that's not true. But knowing I can't very well just swing my fist square into his face, I change my tact. "What did she say to you?"

"What... not gonna tell you herself later?"

Suppressing the burning hatred, suspicion offers to rear its equally head instead.

"Why destroy Sharon and me, Rob? C'mon, what have we ever done to you?"

He shakes his head, like the answer's as simple as that. "It's not about me. It's about Vicki."

"And why should you care? You haven't even known her a week."

"Mmmm, I know. Not long at all is it? So how long exactly have you needed to fall in love with your own sister, Dennis?"

"That's different." I assure him warningly. 

But he shrugs, unfazed. "I don't see how."

"Then you're an even bigger arsehole than I took you for mate. You're screwing Vicki, big wow. She heads home, you'll forget her name before the next fucking plane lands. I love Sharon... and she loves me."

He raises his eyebrow doubtfully and out of sight, my fist seems to reform of its own accord.

"Right, yeah. I saw that. Loves you so much, it's already over. Face it, she never wanted you in the open. You're just her dirty little secret. And the whole point of secrets Dennis is they never get told... feeling better Sharon?"

I knew she was behind me before he says her name, that tiny shred of trust obliterated as I felt her there. Her gaze burns hesitantly into my back. And I can feel in the discomfort of the sensation that she trusts me just as much. Indignation roars painfully inside. I've only ever loved her. I'm apparantly special and worthless all at once. I dislike her right now. I trust Rob even less than that. I don't believe this crap about wanting to protect Vicki. Bastard even tried to compare the two of them the intensity of Sharon and me. Like he'd ever love Vicki. She's just an easy lay for three weeks. I think... I think he wants Sharon. Knows he'll never have her, even if he tried, which he obviously won't. Doesn't want to hurt Vicki himself. Sounds noble enough. But only because now he knows he can make Sharon and me do it instead. Or he can revel in us being... completely destroyed apart. Sick, hateful bastard.

And yet, through it all, I still seem to be stuck on his last words. "...feeling better Sharon?" All at once, I think so many things, I could go mad. What does he mean better? Is she ill again? Better off without me? What?

She edges round me, shoulders hunched, only letting them drop as she stands a step in front of Rob, excluding him with the hateful look she cast him, choosing to be a step closer to me, even though she doesn't say a word, the shimmering of her beautiful deep eyes left to say so much... that is completely without meaning.

I scowl and turn away in disgust. I'm sure I see her lurch, as if reaching desperately out to draw me back. But I guess I imagined it, because she does not touch me. Pathetically, I almost regret it. I make myself walk faster, as if that's gonna help me escape such a shameful emotion when that bastard... when he's right!

I practically break down the door to my room, even though I have savagely forced the keycard through. It's just... the fury overwhelms me so completely and I am so completely nothing, I must find something else to destroy. Because I am all but done. Except the rage does not behave inside me as it usually does. I throw myself down onto the bed and I shake. That's all I do. My hands are white and quivering. My body is not within my own control as all these treacherous thoughts burn up like poison inside my head. I wretch and I jerk and I shudder, but not a single tear is able to come from my eyes.

A dirty little secret...

Not to be loved in the open, never to be seen, never good enough. Just a dirty little secret, to be used so willingly where we'd never be questioned.

I scramble up against the headboard, like the truth is advanced on me like some fabled creature from under the bed. Back painfully straight, I tilt my head back and smack it forcefully against the wall, needing the thud of pain to be stronger. So I bite into my lip and go back again and again, creating a rhythm of pain as one word resounds in my head.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

I did not hear it the first time. Nor the second. Maybe the hesitant knocking came more times than that. Because when she spoke out, it was as though she had been there, trying for longer than she could tolerate. So how long have I been here... this throbbing at the back of my head?

Her words, they tumble out amongst the quietest sigh. "I won't go away..."

I steel myself to ignore her, to return to the solace of pain. Only now I know she is there, it refuses to comfort me anymore, instead forcing me to feel it. I wince as I smack my head back against the wall with twice as much force as before, determined to punish myself.

Idiot, idiot, idiot!

"Dennis, please..."

Growling in frustration and pulling myself up from the bed only after one more particular vicious smack at the wall, my head throbbing like never before. It's almost kind enough to blind, to force out every thought. But she's here... and she won't go away.

Just a dirty little secret, to be used so willingly where we'd never be questioned.

Like right here...

66.

I wrench open the door, surprised to realise it even managed to shut securely. Sharon has been stood so close that when I open it, she has to leap back, colouring a little. She bites into her lip, the rise of the corners trying to suggest a smile. I scowl. I'll never believe it.

"What?" I demand savagely.

Suppressing a flinch of... well, I dunno, Sharon instead sadly looks me up and down and I recoil, feeling exposed.

"Dennis, you're shaking..."

I shake my head, denying her when any fool can she is right. But that's what I am you see, I know that now. Nothing but a fuckin' fool.

She steps forward, the tiniest way into the room. I pace back instinctively, as though I might get burnt. Sharon stops and her hands drop heavily to her sides, as if she's trying to point out she has no weapons. It's enough to make me laugh, surely she knows she alone is more than enough?

"Please don't ask me to leave."

"What?"

"I know you will." She shrugs lazily within her next breath. "So you should. But I won't go."

"What do you want?"

That seems to throw her. Because her eyes, a little duller now, are still raking me over like an animal and oh, I hate her for it. The abruptness of the question has stolen away her reply. "I just... I... oh Dennis, why are you shaking?"

"Never mind!"I yell forcefully, and this time, she does nothing to try and hide how violently she flinches. I ignore it, without the strength or indeed the will to feel the remorse of it and throw myself listlessly back against the bed once again, never taking my accusing eyes from her. I don't trust her. Why should I? She never trusted me.

Backing up against the door until it clicks, Sharon sighs gently and then straightens up, sinking cautiously down on the bed beside me.

"Is it really going to be like this?"

"Like what?"

"Well I don't know..." She shrugs pathetically, wringing her hands as she searches for the words. "...so... cold?"

I can't help but spit out a laugh, full and for once, true. "Oh my God... you are actually, completely unbelievable." Fleetingly, I check my watch. "Hasn't even been two hours..."

Her voice seems to have deserted her, and the words she manages to force out, not quite able to look me in the eye as she does so, prove how truly broken that instrument is - she sounds hoarse.

"I miss you..."

"What were you expecting?"

She looks stricken, apparantly never knowing what she was expecting.

"I... I don't want to... lose you."

"Oh shut up! You never wanted me in the first place!"

"What? Dennis, for God's sake! I..." Seeing the unbridled fury in my face, she hesitates, but traces in a sobering breath and decides to deliver the words anyway. "I lo-"

I raise my hand to silence her, and still it shakes, in accusation more than anything else by now as I rise. "I swear, you try and use that word against me Sharon and I'm gonna rip it out your fucking throat!"

But the threat, as meant as it is, doesn't register. Sharon is stuck, horror-struck on another point entirely as she pushes herself uneasily up from the bed. "Against you? What the Hell are you talking about, it's not against you, it's yours! I love you, you know I do!"

"I did." I assure her steadily. "Or at least I know you were pretending you did."

Her pretty painted mouth hangs agape. "I was never pretending, how fuckin' dare you!" And she raises her hand to strike me, but I catch her wrist and seize the other, smiling cruelly as she writhes.

"I know you were lying to me Sharon. All of it! I know the truth now, so stop!"

I might just as well have cast a spell her resistance ends so obediently. Her eyes seem to cloud with confusion, with suffocating sadness, but they do not leave mine, transfixed.

"I know what it was, darlin', and I know what I am!"

"What?" she demands in a hiss. "What are you Dennis?"

"A dirty... little... secret. You're right, we never gonna be anything, cos you... you never wanted to admit it! Everything you've said... it's words... words I've been pathetic enough to swallow cos I needed you so much! Oh yeah Sharon, piss easy to say "I love you" when no-one else hears you, isn't it?"

I let her go.

"You want someone to hear me?" Sharon challenges, her eyes alive with pain and fury, but better, passion. Our passion. "Alright, fine! Where d'you want me to start? Vicki? Here I go!"

And she spins on her heel with a determination I've never quite known before. It's like fire. Raging, and until confronted at least, indestructible.

Panic makes me reel and I take up her wrist again, with more force than before. Sharon glowers at me, but doesn't try to free herself.

"Where does she think you are right now, Sharon eh? Playing with your hair in the foyer, sweet-talking the concierge? C'mon, I'm interested!"

"I don't know what she thinks." Sharon answers quietly, not even blinking. "And I can't say I care. All I care about right now is her brother..." Again I throw her back. She stumbles a little, but manages to recover without embarrassment, rubbing her wrist tenderly, her gaze still locked on me. "Why do you find that so hard to believe? Why don't you believe I care?"

"You never cared." I snarl.

"No, can't have done can I? After all, I'm only here and I only love you!"

My lips soften, a smile curving there. I draw her gently to me, raising my hand to stroke her cheek. She gasps at my touch, undoubtedly expecting a movement a lot more savage. Shaking too, although less violently than me, she presses her fingers over mine as they move. "You are such a beautiful liar, Sharon..."

Wincing, she presses harder around my fingers as I let them drop. "Whatever I am... I don't care... I need you."

"But who am I? Cos I told you, I'm not playing."

"I know you're not." she agrees sombrely. "I won't ask you to."

"Liar..."

Tears seem to spring up in her eyes immediately. "I'm not! Dennis, I'm not! I've been open, open!"

"Yeah." I say scathingly. "So open that here we are Sharon, just you and me... where no-one else sees, no-one else knows. Just another dirty little secret. Oh yeah, I love you too."

"Don't-" she whimpers. "I... I know you still mean it..."

"And what good is that?" I demand in a yell. "You broke it off Sharon, you left me!"

"And I'm sorry! I never wanted to hurt you, ever. And I know I have and everything just feels all wrong because of it. It's killing me too, why d'you think I'm here?"

I simply look at her, her tears pleading with me to know the answer so she does not have to speak them. "You're feeling guilty?" I shrug lazily. "Or maybe it's worse than that darlin', huh? Maybe you're lonely."

She flinches and stares hard at the floor. I realise with a satisfied smirk that that's exactly it. Releasing a soft sigh, I move over to her and slide my fingertips beneath her chin to tilt it up, her gaze coming level with mine.

"All the wrong people..."

Biting back a sob, she nods desperately. Catching her face in my hands, I force my lips to hers, kissing her so fiercely I am lost to everything but her starved reply, every breath lost to all the all consuming need to remain together. I pull her roughly against me and she kisses me harder still, maybe not caring at anything I might do as long as my lips never part from hers. Her kiss itself itself is like a sweet-tasting fire; triumph in the flames, passion in the body, heat that burns without notice it is so obviously there. And then, above it all, there's the danger of simple, daring creation.

"No!" Sharon gasps in a panic, pulling herself back. "I... if you don't... then I don't want..."

"Yes you do..." I say simply as I catch her again, not even blinking as I look at her. I can tell in the shimmering of her eyes how she weakens. I know she won't stop me pressing my lips to hers, softer this time. I think I feel her shudder as my arms surround her, but I know it's not negative. No, it's submission. Sharon's mine again...

67. Sharon

A delicious warmth spreads through my whole body. I pull the duvet a little higher up across my chest, so relaxed, every tension gone from my form. I never wanted to force Dennis away, never wanted to hurt him as I have been forced to recognise I have. I meant it when I confessed how wrong it felt to be away from him, in any sort of way. He is my darlin'. And however much I might be scared of Vicki's reaction, her own innocent pain at the truth of it; the idea that I have to live away from Dennis when he's going to be beside me all the time, feeling only what I know, oh God, that scares me more than anything I have ever known. 

Only, here, I relax. I don't have to be scared. He's here, right beside me. He's right, I left him. But here I am, little more than two hours later, crawling helplessly back into his arms to let him take everything I am, everything I want to be to him. He fought me off for a while, with suspicion and rage. I knew it'd be that way. He barely hurt me, I didn't feel a thing. That was until he lifted my chin, his eyes searing searchingly into mine as they met. It was like an explosion, soundless as it was, his lips crashing over mine, reawakening the urgency contained within our every kiss. It was like he was never likely to release me, because he was kissing me like he never would again and I couldn't help but want him just as much, if not more for my guilt. If he would not believe that I loved him in words, then action alone would have to do it.

A kiss to have come from Dennis' lips, or from mine for the sake of his, is never just a kiss. We both knew that, and still we kissed all the more fiercely, as if each of us was willing the other to grab at the unspoken invitation with both hands. And just to feel his hands over my quivering body as we tear frantically at one another's clothes, both knowing what we're heading towards, oh I've never wanted anything so much in my life.

There's a true ferocity in the way he makes love to me. It's new, maybe even vicious. But to need him this much, it has never felt more right. I might be weak for surrendering to him like this, but I couldn't care. I know I meant to protect Vicki, but in doing so, what am I? Nothing. And I don't want to shut down. I know how terrifying that journey is, and yes, how lonely. I can't condemn Dennis to the same fate when I... when I need him still, when I love him.

Two hours aware of his pain and I too was broken. I excused myself from Rob and Vicki, feigning tiredness, heartbreak for the nameless even. And as I went, I don't think I was the only one that knew there was only one place I intended to go. Oh, I was almost daring Rob to follow me, to do his worst. Because I'm not sure it exists at all. How do you break the broken?

And, desire burning through my needy body like only Dennis seems to make it so, I don't think even I can any longer remain convinced I came here just to plead with him if I should have had to, to allow me a place in his life. Any place at all. Because this... oh this is my place. I never want to be anywhere else.

Except maybe to scooch into the pillow, feel Dennis' arms surround me as protectively as ever and know as he looks at me, he understands that to come back means I refuse to go. I want to be his. It's the only thing that's felt so right to me in so damn long.

But his arms don't surround me as the two of us fall back, fighting to gain control of our wrecked bodies. They fall instead to his sides like lead and for the few moments I talk to snuggle into the warmth of the bed, I try not to notice he blinks so rapidly, looking so blankly at the ceiling and indeed, nowhere but the ceiling. Then his whole body seems to jerk and he pulls himself up over the edge of the bed, releasing the heaviest sounding sigh I think I've ever heard.

Cautiously, I lower the duvet away from my shoulders and wrap it over my chest, concealed by the material as is Dennis' lap. I pull myself into a sitting position and withdraw my hand from beneath the duvet to press into his arm, stroking across his elbow. 

"Dennis...?"

He flinches and looks down upon this connection just as blankly.

"Get off me."

I blink, stunned and hurt for the measure of it. "Wh-What?"

So he does it for me, throwing me off.

"I want you to leave..."

My laughter seems to have been born just to mock him. "No." I say flatly.

His eyes narrow contemptously as, having stood up with his jeans at his feet, he fastens his fly. "Get... out..."

"No! I told you... I won't go!"

"What, you think I'm giving you a choice?"

"What is this? Dennis, what the Hell is any of this?"

His lips twist into a cruel smile and he occupies himself for a moment with scuffing his toe into the carpet. "Y'know Sharon... you ask a lot of questions you'll hate the answers to."

I'm unmoved, scowl. "What do you suggest then?"

His smile grows truer upon his lips, and it's not really a kind look. "Get used to it. Or shut up and get on with it..."

Suddenly, I feel cold and dirty beneath his gaze, retreat into the protection of the duvet. "So can I ask what I'm doing here then? In your bed? Or am I gonna hate the answer to that too?"

The smirk I've always found so attrative appears in the corner of his mouth. And yet now it repulses me a little as he laughs. "Ah... the art of seduction. Amazingly easy, just like you, Sharon..."

"You... bastard."

"I love how you say that like it's supposed to hurt. But you really should give up being all high and mighty. You didn't come up here cos a shred of you gives a shit what I'm feeling. You needed an ego boost... don't say you're gonna complain now I've given you one, cos that sweetheart, that's just rude."

Choking in horror, the all-consuming horror, I cannot speak. Dennis' eyes never leave me and he moves without a word back towards the edge of the bed. 

"Nasty being used isn't it, Sharon? It's really nasty, even if you are stupid enough to ask for it!"

"You... used me?"

"Of course I did!" he cries out, as if he despairs of the fact I did not realise. "What did you think this was Sharon? Open arms? Forgiveness? It was just sex. And that was exactly what you wanted! Or is begging for it a protest now? Yes, I used you. Gotta hand it to you though, it felt fantastic."

"No..." I whisper miserably, burying my face in my knees as I bend them up to my chest. "...this isn't right."

"Oh, but it's not right is it Sharon? Screwing your own brother. Best not tell anyone, best not be seen, best not make it real... I thought we were gonna be together..."

"I thought we were..."

"What?" he laughs scornfully, glancing at the bed. "Because of this? Jesus Christ, what part of this wasn't about sex to you Sharon?"

For a moment, I feel shamed, because I do understand how my darlin' has come to feel so used. But anger eclipses everything. "You hypocritical shit!"

He just looks at me as if he's bored, entertained at last to see some true animation in my form.

"That first night Dennis.... what I did was wrong. I know I hurt you, I know alright! But get over yourself! I've never thought of any of this as easy sex, believe me, being with you has been anything but easy. But that night, what were you doing eh? "I never stop thinking about you Sharon, use me Sharon, I love you, Sharon!" I asked you what the Hell you were trying to do to me. "I'd have thought that was obvious!" that's what you said! You were talking me into bed! It was you, wanting to screw your own sister that started all of this so don't you ever come at me like that alright, don't you fucking dare." 

"Oh whatever." he snaps dismissively. "It's not like it matters now!"

"No, it doesn't matter, Dennis. Why would that matter when I'm still here... still naked in your bed! Yeah c'mon, why don't you just use me a little more eh? I mean, I'm still here... still gonna beg for it..."

"Shut up... shut up!"

"Wow. Are you really the same guy? He wouldn't have been like that. He loved it. Not unlike you I'm guessing, seeing as you were done before this little attack!"

"Get out!"

I sigh gently, mocking him again as I lazily stretch my arms down across the duvet. "But I'm settled now darlin'. Besides, I don't have my clothes... you remember tearing them off don't you? Oh... I know I'm right. You and me, we're an addiction. If this is using then you're a certified fuckin' junkie, cos you couldn't wait to use me! And you're scared because now I'm in your system and you know what? I really won't go. You can be as vile to me as you like... but the truth is you need me..."

"You make me sick." he sneers, but I nod sympathetically.

"Withdrawl does that, Dennis. And how long's it been for us huh? Three... four hours? Christ, no wonder you were shaking..."

"You think way too much of yourself love."

"Do I? I thought I did alright honestly. I could have anyone I want. My little brother's actually in love with me y'know."

"Was." he spits viciously. "He was."

"Oh... don't say it's gone Dennis, not when I begged so hard..."

His eyes flame, incensed. "This is all just a game to you isn't it? That's all it's ever been!"

"How dare you..."

"Really easily!" he rages. "It's all starting to make sense, you see, Sharon, all of it! You lied to me!"

"I've given you everything..." I spit venemously.

Dennis simply gives off a cold laugh. "Yeah, I reckon you did. All wrapped up in a nice big lie right? You gave me everything I wanted, then told me it couldn't be real without even using the words. That's some skill."

I close my eyes, trying to pretend tears do not burn ready to fall. I will never let them. "I told you! I said... I told you I couldn't-"

"-have kids." he finishes bluntly. "You told me you couldn't have kids, like that was the one that was gonna make or break us. Whether it's true or not, it's an excuse! I want you, I don't care about the rest of it, I just want you. Yet, you walked away from me, be all and end all, just so you didn't have to say "I don't love you, never did. You were there, it was too easy, you wanted it too much. It's never gonna happen, it's never gonna be real"!"

"I'd never have said that!" I inform him in disgust.

"Why not?" he demands in a hiss. "It's the truth isn't it?"

"No! And you should know it isn't, you idiot! I love you! That's why I'm here, that's why this happened." I gesture down to the bed, but Dennis scowls, recoiling and I sigh miserably, forced to accept that "Well, m-maybe not for you, but... it's not a crime to be lonely, Dennis and it's not a crime that I came to you to feel better. That's not the only reason I came, it's not. I guess I... oh, I thought you'd know..."

"Know what? How the Hell am I supposed to know...?"

"I was trying to go back. To you, Dennis. I was trying to come back without having to ask you to... to take me back." 

68.

He flinches and a moment later, his lip curls. "You're lying..."

"No I'm not. And if you could make yourself look me in the eye... but you can't, can you? You're a fucking coward Dennis. You were supposed to love me too!"

"You told me to stop..."

I scream in frustration. "Yes Dennis, I did. I've also spent hours, maybe even days since we met trying to tell you to not swig out the juice carton or to smoke out the kitchen window and I know you still do both. You've never listened to me before! Why... Why choose now?"

"Cos, call me an idiot Sharon, I never thought about comparing you and me to smoking a fag out the kitchen window! My bad, obviously!"

I cover my face with my hands, groaning outwardly. "No! You were supposed to understand. I never wanted to... I never..."

"But you did it." he says abruptly, true venom in his voice. "You ended it! But hey, long as no-one sees you, long as you don't have to admit to anything, then why not come up here and see if I'm still up for it eh? After all, I'm just as easy as you aren't I?"

I laugh scornfully. "You're not easy Dennis. Not at all. You are the most diificult, contrary bastard I have ever-"

"Oh shut up for fuck's sake. You know it's true. I head for the door, you stand in the way. All you did was look at me, and you fuckin' well knew I was yours. My problem is, here and now is over six months later and you've never been mine."

"Oh my God-" I recoil in horror. "-you actually believe that."

"What am I supposed to believe Sharon, c'mon, tell me!"

"You're supposed to believe in me! What the Hell's gotten inside your head Dennis, really?"

"Shame..."

I blink, confused. "Whose? Mine... yours? Cos if you wanna play it that way, then let me tell ya, it's always better to feel it before you take someone... anyone to bed..."

"And yet she doesn't see the irony!"

"Oh will you let it go?! It's different now."

"Yeah, only cos it's over!"

"But it's not! Not for me, or I wouldn't be here like this. And if it was over, Dennis, if it was really over, would you really have wanted to hurt me like this? If it was over, it wouldn't matter anymore. And it does darlin', and you know why."

He nods jerkily. "You lied to me..."

My words crash over his. I never thought he'd get it so wrong. "I love you."

The steelyness of his eyes defies me and he says again, a little more viciously this time; "You lied to me."

I laugh uneasily, sadly shaking my head. "I said I loved you and I meant it. What exactly did I lie about? Dennis?"

"You never wanted to tell anyone. And Vicki's just there, a handy excuse like always. I mean, if Rob hadn't-"

He spits out the name so venemously, I jolt. Of course.

"It's Rob isn't it? He's been stirring it with you! Hasn't he?"

Dennis narrows his eyes. "No..."

"I don't believe this! You believe him over me!"

"Well maybe that's cos what he said made so much more sense! All this... it's just some dirty little secret. It is. You scoring cheap thrills without having to even go looking!"

"Oh fuck off - I'm not you!"

"-if he hadn't seen us, if you hadn't been so damn scared he was gonna rush off to tell Vicki, we'd have kept going like this, I know we would. And what about when we got home eh? What was it gonna be Sharon? Us, just there, going crazy waiting for everyone to leave the house just so we could be together? Cos sneaking into each other's rooms... sex... it doesn't mean we'd have been anymore together than we are now! Or... maybe you'd have just told me in the airport eh? "Cheers for the sex Dennis, but it's not gonna carry on anymore"!"

"What the Hell d'you think I am? You know we were going to tell her!"

"So why didn't we, Sharon, why? If she'd come out and seen us then... I might just about understand. But Rob's nothing! And yet there he is and you run scared! C'mon, you tell me, what was I supposed to think?"

"What do you think?" I question tersely, well aware this is likely to be one of those questions I hate the answer to.

"I think it looked like the easy way out." Dennis shrugs. "I don't think you cared whether we were together or not."

The breath ready to be born from my chest becomes sharp and unbearable as I absorb his words. My spine seems to straighten defensively. "Oh well-" I hiss, pulling the duvet back and scooping up my dress from the floor. "-if that's what you think then you won't care if I..."

I pull the dress roughly over my head, standing up and letting the folds hide my naked body. I tug my hair from beneath the strap and swinging it furiously across my shoulder, glowering at Dennis as I move round the room to gather up my shoes. I lift each foot in turn up behind me to yank each shoe on, my eyes burning hatefully into Dennis all the while. He's begun to shake again, so slightly as he looks back at me with every similar emotion.

I head towards the door and yet, history seems to repeat itself in some cruel reverse as he steps into my path, keeping me back.

I lift my head defiantly. "This time, Dennis, this time... I do mean it. Get out of my way."

"No."

I tilt my head to the side, laughing coldly. "You couldn't wait to get rid of me a minute ago. What's the matter darlin' eh? You worried?"

"No." he says again in precisely the same firm tone. But I know he's just being obstinate because he steps aside, apparantly preferring to let me go than give me any indication of his feelings. I think I could pretty much have guessed at that. I smile and move roughly past him, out into the corridor, striding down towards the lifts. I recognise with a satisfied smirk that the door to have slammed somewhere behind me was of course Dennis', and he is but a pace behind me.

"Sharon!"

I'm muttering hotly to myself as I stab at every available button to call the lifts. His hand presses over mine, pinning me to the all by this simply connection of the wall. I scowl and pointedly pull my hand free from beneath his, instead choosing to turn on my heel and bound down the stairs. It'll be so much quicker that way.

"Sharon!"

"What?" I yell furiously, blood pounding in my ears as I round back on him for just a moment having descended the first flight of stairs.

"Just... tell me..."

"What, and ruin the element of surprise? Oh Dennis, no..."

And I turn and I keep going down, I keep hearing him follow me. I have him scared, I really do. Good.

I'm two flights away from ground when I cry out, my back throbbing as I'm thrown hard against the wall, pinned there by my caged wrists and Dennis forcing his knee between my legs. I fulp down my surprise and keep my head level, looking at him with as much fierce contempt as he does me.

"Well this is cosy." I say dryly.

Dennis' hands curl even tighter around my wrists, his nails drilling into my flesh. I can tell in his ragged breathing how much he wants to tear me away from the wall and throw me back again and again, just to make me see sense. But that's the thing. I have seen it. I know it!

"Why won't you just stop?!"

"Take your hands off me Dennis, or so help me I'll scream this whole place down!"

He shoves me away. I dare to swallow down one breath, wincing as my wrists sting. But I steel myself to keep going down the stairs.

"I asked you a question!"

Well aware of it, I laugh loudly. I turn around again, knowing he has noticed there's only one flight to go now. And he's clueless. He only follows me because he doesn't know where I'm going or what I intend to do. He slows up almost frightly, coming slowly, heavily down the steps to level with me.

"I won't stop. I'll never stop because... Jesus Christ Dennis, you don't have to love me, or want me or even like me! But you fuckin' dare to doubt me, after everything..."

Confusion sweeps across his face, but I only see it from a moment because I turn away in disgust and go the rest of the way down, satisfied as my heel hits the firm, cold floor. Determination roars inside me like an animal, spurred on by the anger. I don't care how much he says he's hurt. He needs to learn!

I stalk across the foyer, my sense of purpose momentarily lost as Dennis manages to catch up to me again, pulling roughly on my arm so I am forced to face him, such anger by now alive in his eyes, he looks almost murderous.

"You stupid bitch! It's your fault, don't you get that? It wasn't choice, you made me! You. There's nothing you can do to change that either!"

I listen intently. When he stops speaking, my lips curve and my body releases one sarcastic shudder. "Fuckin' watch me."

And the best bit is I know he will. He'll be able to do little else cos he has absolutely no idea what he's heading towards. Well, he best work that one out pretty quick cos I'll never let him doubt me. How fuckin' dare he!

If I'm honest however, it's not just Dennis making me rage like this. OK, so he admits to using me. I guess we're even. Because I still love him and at least I know he did love me. I'll prove it to him, I'll make him see he can dare to do it again. And if not, well then, I guess it's just another painful swipe at him isn't it? But maybe I'm just too angry to care. So bloody be it.

"Sharon!"

I ignore my sister's bright greeting and slow up on her other side - directly in front of her bastard boyfriend. I'm sure I see him shiver. You repulse me too mate, don't worry...

"Sh-Sharon..." he says nervously, not quite looking me in the eye.

I hate him, I hate him so much. Bet he really got off on tormenting Dennis like that. And now, all there is is... this. I hate him.

And with a small and devious smile, I let the hatred overwhelm me, striking him hard across the face. It sounds very much like it hurt and the mark it leaves impresses even me. Or at least I would let it if Vicki hadn't recoiled so immediately in horror. 

"Sharon! What the fuck was that for?"

But I try not to look at her, needing to get all this venom from my system.

"That... was for this piece of scum. You're no better than vermin, Rob! Got a right kick out of all those lies didn't you eh? Well, I ain't having it! You disgust me - the fact I'm this close to you makes me feel sick, and she-" I glance at Vicki, who seems to be looking desperately past me, to Dennis, I know. But they both remain motionless. There's just me, my victim and my attack. "-she should know better!"

"Why?" she questions shakily, looking suspiciously between me and Rob. "What's going on?"

"Oh... I'd let you try and work it out sweetheart, but you wouldn't get there in a million years. Would she Rob? And that's why you haven't said a word. We were going to be OK, you bastard and you've ruined it!"

Making a noise like she's gagging, Vicki smothers it with her shivering hands, her eyes apparantly doubled in size with the shimmering fright. "Oh my God... it's him isn't it?" I'll admit, I have absolutely no idea what she means until her eyes swerve madly to Rob and she shrieks again; "It's him!" Her eyes flare red as she glares demandingly at Rob. "You've been screwing my sister?"

I burst out laughing. Hysterical reaction I guess, but Jesus Christ, I can't help it. That's about as likely as... what's true! "No Vicki!" I say loudly, not only needing to assure her but to make myself heard by someone else. "No! He definitely bloody hasn't!"

She gasps for air, relieved to say the least. That's more than can be said for Rob, who practically cries out in pain as she begins to raise the inevitable questions. And even as adrenaline begins to pound uneasily inside me, I think I welcome them, because it drags this bastard down into the shit too. Serves you right. Shouldn't have come outside should you? You shouldn't have tried to play us! You should have left us alone!

"But you're still... your bloke... who...?"

I smile gently, hating how I know this will hurt her, but hating even more how I am hurt by the way Dennis seems to have flinched in contempt, not trusting me even up to this, the very last moment.

Well fuck you, Dennis. You are mine. Learn to live with it.

"I'm not sleeping with Rob- I'm sleeping with your brother."

69. Vicki

I've barely heard her when she turns with one painful sounding breath I'd give anything to be able to breathe myself and looks straight at Dennis, demanding in a snarl almost; "Now tell me you don't believe in me Dennis, go on!"

It's only as she says his name that I jolt in repulsion, the wave of realisation literally taking every much needed breath out of me. Because my brother, my brother she said, he hasn't said a word to deny what she's said. He's stood there, rigid and silent, his bottom lip swelling he has bitten at it so hard.

No. No, it can't be...

"How... How can you be... Dennis?" I shriek his name, willing him to deny it all, and he flinches, looking as gaunt as ever.

"I'm sorry Vicks." he mumbles pathetically, his eyes so glazed with miserable anger I doubt he's even truly looking at me.

"Liar." Sharon spits before I have the chance to. "You're only sorry because now she knows! Now she knows and because of him, you don't want me anymore!"

She glares at Rob and I swear, she may as well have swung her fist into my stomach. "You... You knew?" I shuddder in repulsion. "You knew that my brother and sister were-" Oh God, just to call them that makes bile rise inside of me. I can't even look at them. "Brother and sister for God's sake! You can't... You can't-"

"We are..."

"We were." Dennis hisses out over her words before looking pointedly at me, a softer look in his eyes. "It's over now, Vicki, it's done."

My shattered mind all over the place, I let out a groan of non-understanding, dropping heavily back into my seat and covering my face with my hands. I want the ground to swallow me up. Everyone's looking, muttering. Muttering about the stupid little girl that never saw. I want to die. Rob shifts awkwardly in his seat and hesitantly places his hand on my arm. I throw him off, disgusted.

"Get off me!" I yell. "You're as bad as them! You knew! You knew!"

He springs back, wounded, but I just don't care. He's been lying to me, just like them. Lying about something so wrong and dirty. Oh why couldn't he just have been the one Sharon was sleeping with? Why not? He's just a guy and yes, she is my sister, and I love her, but at least in that betrayal, she would have left me with my brother, my blood. This way, I have no-one at all - and it's all so my brother and sister could get away with having sex!

"Vicki..." Rob gabbles, his voice sounding a lot like it'll give out on him. "...I swear, I've only known a few hours. And it's over... I told them I'd tell you if it... wasn't over and it is, it is!"

Tears pouring from my eyes, I turn my head towards him and plead to know; "So why's she telling me? Why?"

But he looks cliueless, instead looks with a scowl in Sharon's direction. She sighs heavily and I hear her step forward, the only sounds to be heard are me sniffling, necks craning and Sharon's heel scraping across the floor. I shrink away from her closeness in disgust as she crouches down against the table edge.

"I know what you think Vicki..."

"You couldn't have the first idea about what I think Sharon." I assure her, hissing her name venemously as I narrow my eyes.

"You think it's just sex." she says quietly, closing her eyes to let my wincing at the words pass her by. "And you know what, you're right. Apparantly it is. So I'm sorry too darlin'. But I... I thought it was more. I thought he loved me. And even if he doesn't... I'm not sure I know anymore, I love him. And I'm not asking you to accept it, or not hate me for it, but you need to know the truth because if you don't... he's never going to believe it's real."

I recoil. "You don't love him."

"Yes I do." she says solemnly.

"He's your brother, Sharon, your brother!"

"Oh Vicki..." she sighs gently, as if she despairs of me, covering her face with her hands for a moment, just like I did. "Don't you think I don't know how much easier this could be if that was true?"

"What d'you mean "if"? It is! How can it not be Sharon? What about me? What about Dad? Or don't we matter anymore?"

"Of course you matter! Dennis, please, tell her..."

"Yes, Dennis." I sneer, amazed to see that there are actually tears, and angry ones I have no doubt, clouding his eyes. My brother actually cries. I'd never have believed it. "Tell me."

But he can hardly bear to look at me, instead rounding angrily on Sharon. "You cruel bitch! It's over; why are you doing this to her now?"

"Because it's not! You know it isn't! I'm doing this for you... for us!"

"Well don't!" he growls, as though it's a warning. "There isn't an us."

"Oh yeah, cos that's totally what you were saying before you got me back into bed, right Dennis?"

Sharon's words repulse me. They appear to be having a similar effect on Dennis. Is he ashamed? Oh God, I hope so. Bed... the same bed, touching her like..

Nausea swirls readily in my stomach. Fearing I'm about to be sick all across the table, I pull myself up between the two of them, wishing I wasn't shaking quite as much.

"Shut up!" I scream. "I don't... I don't want to know..." And I begin to cry, hating them both for reducing me to this, hating for Rob for never allowing me to see that it might be coming. Not that I'd ever have believed it, prepared for it. This isn't right. And neither is the fact that even though I have screamed out my protests, I can't help but croak in Sharon's direction; "When did he... when did you...?"

"About twenty minutes ago..."

I flinch. "But you're... you're fighting. How can you just have- you're so angry with each other! It's me that's supposed to be angry, me that should wanna kill you both!"

"Do it." Dennis urges calmly. "I mean it Vicki, I won't stop you."

"Oh yeah?" I challenge viciously. "So what if I started with her?"

"Vicki, please..." Sharon murmurs thickly, sounding dangerously like she's about to cry. But callously, I ignore her, turning instead to my brother.

"What is she to you now Dennis eh? You were screwing her twenty minutes ago, so she's definitely not your sister! She says she loves you, even if you don't, which is why you're both tearing me apart like this! But you... you haven't said a thing!"

"It's over..."

"Will you stop lying? Aren't you sick of that by now... how long have you been lying to me? How long have you been lying to me for the sake of doing each other?"

Dennis looks down, lips blanched, eyes shut, like the question hurts him. Oh whatever, doing his own sister obviously hasn't hurt him one fuckin' bit.

"We... the night before we flew out - Vicki I'm sorry!"

"How can you be sorry? You had in your bed twenty minutes ago, minutes. Our sister. You're not sorry. She wouldn't have been there if you were!"

"Not true." Sharon says bravely, straightening her back, glowering at Rob. "You gonna tell her why Rob, or are you leaving that to Dennis too? Cos I still haven't heard this bit either. What did you say to him?" Her gaze slides unchanged to Dennis. "Why did you use me? Why?"

Dennis looks desperately at me, but I remain blank. "She asked you a question and you know what, I'm dying to know the answer too! So c'mon. Give Sharon what she's asking for Dennis, sounds to me like you're good at that! He is good right Sharon? That is why you've gone crawling back for more, right?"

And yet it's Rob that winces, stepping cautiously over to me. "Vicki..."

"Shut up!" I yell over him. "My brother's talking." But he's not. He's as silent as ever. "I'm waiting Dennis. Your girlfriend's waiting. We're all fuckin' waiting!"

"I thought she was hiding it OK?" he snaps back, pressurised. "Not me, not us. I thought she... I thought she didn't want us going public."

Sharon receives his words like a slap in the face. She looks immediately at Rob, like she could kill him with a glance. "You poisonous- you evil bastard! That's what you said? That I was ashamed? What the fuck do you know?"

"Well, if you're not, you should be!" I tell her scathingly before I turn to Dennis. "But hey never mind eh, bro? Couldn't get much more public than this could you?" I glance round at all the unashamedly eager eyes. "Big bar full of people. Was this how you were planning to do it back home, in The Vic?"

"I didn't know how it was going to be OK? I didn't know."

"But you still went ahead and... you're disgusting! She's your sister! What do I get for this huh? Lies and fuck all else! I lose my entire family!"

"No!"

"Yes!" I yell back. "You think I could ever stomach the idea of this, of you two...?"

"Look, Vicki, just listen. It's over!"

His eyes are blazing, furiously willing me to believe it. But I don't. Because Sharon stands across from him, as defiant as ever. I don't matter. I don't. I can tell she won't let him go. "How can it be over?" I demand, my chest tight as I scream out the words. "How can it be over when she's just crawled out your bed? You want her! You twisted... you want her! Don't you?" He remains silent, going paler still. "No? So tell her, Dennis. Tell your slut you don't want her anymore."

Sharon looks terrified, tears brimming in her eyes. I hope it kills her. Because she actually cares more now about what Dennis will say than whatever I think, whatever I feel. Me, I'm nothing. I'm just a pawn in this war they're waging because... Rob came between them, knowing everything I didn't. Keeping it from me.

Dennis' breathing is ragged as he tries not to look at her. But we all know his gaze can go nowhere else, his eyes somehow murderously empty as they settle on her; his chest going with every breath like it might explode through fury.

"Say it Dennis." Sharon advises him weakly. "Take the easy way out, go on. You know the truth. We both do. Tell her what she needs to hear."

But he bites hard into his lip, wanting to keep words back.

"Tell her!"

Tears slip treacherously from his eyes, voice cracked as he whispers hatefully. "I... can't."

Steadily, Sharon releases a breath it sounds as though she's been keeping back since she revealed their dirty little secret. And she looks right at me, her misty eyes pleading.

"Please Vicki, let us tell you the truth."

  
70. Sharon

Dennis' eyes inadvertently settle on me as I say that. They cloud with suspicion, but I pretend not to see it. I know how much he wants to yell "Us? Us?! This is all you!" But this is what he wanted. Never like this, I know, but it's done now. She knows. We're free to be whatever we really are. And this conversation... oh this is the one that's going to make or break us. My throat runs dry just considering it, which is why I'm so damn grateful when Vicki announces, a little way off; "I'm gonna need a drink for that, aren't I?"

I smile nervously. See, this is where I should chastise her. She's still under-age after all. But how the Hell can I when I'm forcing her to deal with this. "Yeah." I agree weakly. "Of course you are..." Dennis seems to be off the same thinking and moves off to the bar. He looks at me uneasily as he passes me, and I can barely look back. He's shaking ever so slightly, and I'm not sure I believe he is quite so angry anymore. He's actually nervous. I step towards him, thinking that if I go and help him, then maybe I'll have the chance to murmur a few words, any words that might convince him not to let us go.

But Vicki seems to realise my intention and won't allow it. "No way." she hisses, shaking her head. "You stay here..."

"Alright darlin'-" I sigh, stepping back to stand alongside her. "-alright."

Dennis seems to have frozen mid-step, looking anxiously at me, as if he expected me to do something more to defy her. But I turn away as Vicki waves him off with a dark look that knows full well why he hesitated.

"Vicki please.." I whisper desperately, glancing round at all the intrusive eyes that haven't yet left us.

"Not bottling it already are you sis?"

"No, no of course not. You deserve the truth and I wanna give it to you. Just not here. Please... I'm begging you..."

She sighs in a shudder, apparantly hating it as much as I am. "OK." she agrees reluctantly. "Tell Dennis not to bother then. I can call room service when I need to-"

Nodding in agreement, I move off, but she wrenches me back, glaring at me. I try not to yelp at the pain that tears through my wrist. 

"Not you." she sneers, before turning to Rob and tilting her head towards Dennis. "You go."

He slopes off obediently. I watch intensely, knowing I haven't mistaken the way hatred is born in Dennis' face as he turns and registers Rob's presence beside him. And I wonder, was he hoping for me? Rob begins to speak and I count the seconds, wanting to be assured he hasn't said anymore than he bloody well needs to this time. It seems not because Dennis nods without a word, a heavy step bringing him back to Vicki and me.

Vicki makes sure she keeps to my pace, keeping her eye on me the whole time. I walk like a scorned child. I know if I tried to turn, pointlessly needing to look into my lover's face, then her disgust would stare me down.

We all go silently into Vicki's room. "Don't mind do you?" she questions dangerously, backing up against the door until it clicks. "Don't really fancy being cooped up somewhere you two have been at it." Feeling plenty enough shamed, I back up tiredly against the wall, realising with a jolt that Dennis' fingertips rest millimetres from mine. "No. Sharon, you go over there..."

I sigh in exasperation as I do as I'm told. "Vicki, this is stupid. We're not even allowed to look at each other?"

"No, you're fucking not. Cos it's looking that started all this isn't it? Both of you seeing things you shouldn't have. But c'mon, seeing as you're all for truth telling, who started it?"

"What d'you-"

"Me."

I look round in surprise as Dennis cuts across me to raise that one simple word so certainly, apparantly inviting the way Vicki glowers at me. "I might have guessed that eh Dennis? Never really known where the line lies with women have ya?"

He shrugs stiffly. "Nah sis, I guess not."

"What, not even gonna defend yourself?"

"Why would I? It's true."

"So with Sharon... what are you doing? Testing the boundaries?"

"I don't think so."

"Does that mean you don't know?" He stares hard at the floor, blanching his lip. "Because she's told me she loves you. You haven't said it back. Have you not got that far yet?"

"Vicki, don't do this to yourself..."

"Why not?" she blasts suspiciously. "C'mon... you couldn't tell her you didn't want her and she told you to lie to me."

"Yeah well, maybe I'm sick of that eh?"

"But you couldn't say it." Vicki points out hotly. "So you must feel something."

"Course I do..."

"Do you love her too? Dennis? Are you in love with our sister? Tell me. Tell her..."

Dennis pulls in one painful sounding breath, and levels his gaze, his eyes burning through me almost. I can tell his resolve is weakening. He wants to take away the pain this is causing Vicki because it's partly his fault. But in doing the right thing... oh God, the truth will shatter her and I'm willing him not to deliver it because I don't think he'll be able to carry the weight of the blame he'll feel then.

I shake my head gently as he looks at me, murmuring; "Don't..."

But Vicki whirls round, eyes narrowed as she hears me. "Why not?" she demands. "Because you're scared he doesn't?"

"It doesn't make any difference anymore." I inform her sadly. "I know he did. That's all that matters."

"Oh yeah, to you maybe." she scoffs with a high, cold laugh. "God, how the Hell did you ever look at each other and think that this was OK?"

"Vicki... Dennis is your brother darlin', not mine."

"How did you figure that?"

"Well, we haven't got the same parents have we? Not really..."

"The adoption? That's what you're clinging to? But... you always said... the Watts were your family, your real family. You grew up calling Den & Angie Mum & Dad Sharon, you didn't have to do that. You made your choice..."

"I was three years old!"

"Oh right, course, sorry. So if someone had come up to you, once you knew they weren't really- and if someone had said "That Den Watts has got a boy, knocked up your babysitter... and in twenty-five years or so, he's gonna turn up here and you're gonna want him for everything but a brother..." would you have believed it? Would you have thought twice? For him?"

"I was a child!" I scream, my voice cracking as hot tears pour from my eyes. "You know you're being impossible. I didn't know... neither of us knew it'd be this way. It just is!"

"Alright, fine!" she snaps back, raising her palm to silence me. "But if he's not your brother, then how can I be your sister? You might be able to deny Dad Sharon, but me & Dennis can't. We've got his blood inside us. However ill the idea makes me feel right now, I'll always be his sister. And I thought there'd be you and me too, sisters together. But if you're not related to him, then you're not related to me either!"

I recoil in horror. "No! No!"

"Why not? How can you pick and choose your family like this, Sharon?" She pauses and then seems sudddenly struck by inspiration. "Is it because I'm a girl?"

I blink, confused. "What?"

"Well, if I was your brother too, would we be sleeping together instead of you and him?" She turns her head to glare at Dennis and I'll admit, I'm surprised to see he glares sullenly back at her, arms folded defensively against his chest as though he's just as repulsed by the question as I am.

"That's disgusting!" I hiss.

"Yes!" she shrieks, nodding madly. "It is isn't it? It's disgusting. And it's all you're left with Sharon. Cos you either want that, some sordid little affair with your own brother; or you wanna forget about it all so we can be together as a family. What do you want?"

71. Dennis

I really hate how Vicki's taken to talking about me rather than to me. If this were any other situation, I'd be having a go at her for being such an ignorant cow. But she's not trying to be. She's just reeling. I understand that. She had a couple of digs at me, but now she's really laying into Sharon. Guess all this, it's gonna hurt more when... well, Sharon's been part of her life since always. I suppose their blood is the last thing that matters. And so what if I'm really Vicki's brother, her blood, I turned up less than a year ago, of course I mean nothing in comparison, I woulda expected that. But she's really tearing her apart, and me? I'm stood there, saying nothing, doing nothing - and hating myself for it. I dragged Sharon into all of this and now it's out, like I wanted, I'm forcing her to take it.

Tears sparkling so miserably in her eyes, Sharon looks desperately at me. Right at me. It makes me jolt cos with Vicki being how she is that one action alone is daring. But her voice is shattered, barely more than a broken whisper.

"Help me. Please."

She's actually begging me. Drained, can't do it alone. How can she... how can I expect her to when... when it was supposed to be us. And even if that don't exist anymore, the blame's equal isn't it?

No, it isn't, Dennis. You knew that.

I bite anxiously into my lip and hope that my voice will hold strong as I begin to speak. "She didn't want me, alright?"

Vicki whirls round, lips twisted into a cruel smile. "Oh I think you'll find she did. Why else would she be doing you?"

"Because I talked her into it. Right from the beginning. It was me."

"You must think I'm stupid! It takes two."

"Exactly. So will you stop laying into her? It's just as much my fault, more even! I knew who she was Vicki, I knew she thought of my dad as her dad. I knew and it didn't make a blind bit of difference! I went after her, OK, me. And just in case you're interested, I have said it back. I said it first. And believe me darlin', that weren't the start. She didn't wanna know."

"That's not true." comes that shuddery whisper again. "You know that's not-"

"Will you shut up?" Vicki roars, glaring at Sharon venemously. "Why don't you wanna make this any easier on me Sharon? Why are you trying so hard to keep him-"

Sharon falls obediently silent, staring shamefully at the carpet.

"She told me it was never gonna happen, Vicki. She didn't wanna hurt you or Den. But I didn't care. I made this happen. I didn't care about Den and I didn't care enough about you-"

Sharon recoils before Vicki even has chance to register it, blinking slowly. "Vicki darlin', he doesn't mean... we were going to tell you, we were!"

"What-" she spits. "-so I can be happy for you? You weren't going to tell me, neither of you have got the guts. You're sick and selfish and... and I'm so fuckin' stupid!" Her facial features twist miserably, and her eyes dim with tears as she fights back a great big shuddering sob. "I was really happy... happy you guys seemed closer... that you'd both found someone. I would never have thought- oh, but I should have! You never really got on at home. You just... tolerated each other. And then what?" She glares fleetingly at me before her angry eyes find Sharon. "He says "How about it?" and suddenly you're best friends?"

Sharon opens her mouth to protest but Vicki cuts right across her. 

"Don't give me anymore of that "love" crap alright? You might be desperate enough to go for this Sharon, but he doesn't love you. He doesn't know how!"

"And you don't know what you're talking about." Sharon snaps irritably, hardly even realising the words came from her own mouth. But I heard them. And I'm almost impressed. Guess she believed me at some point then eh?

"Don't I?"

"No! You might be right, OK Vicki, I'm not denying that. But Dennis is the only one that'll tell me how it really is, alright?"

"Well-" Vicki announces, air of amusement in her tone as she rounds on me, hands poised on her hips. "-he don't seem to be saying much does he, Sharon?"

"Oh for fuck's sake!" I curse hotly. "I am here."

"Like I could forget." my sister says darkly.

"Vicki, please..." Sharon pleads, glancing anxiously at me. "...we just want a chance to explain."

"Alright, fine." she huffs, throwing herself down on the bed, glaring at Rob. 

He shifts uncomfortably and moves to stand up. "I should probably go..." he mumbles, gesturing towards the door.

"Oh no, stay!" Vicki sings out with a forced brightness. "You're the unfortunate bastard that uncovered all this aren't you? Surely you wanna hear about the totally freakish family I come from?"

"Vicki, this is private..."

"Coward." she sneers as he opens the door. "That's right, drop this on me, tear my whole life apart and then walk out, go on!" She's followed him out into the corridor, me and Sharon both anxious to move forward, but trying at the same time not to get too close. But Rob's already gone, bolting for the lifts. "Bastard!" Vicki yells. Then she whirls round and sees me and Sharon there and suddenly looks even angrier. "Gonna explain out here are you?" She forces us back inside, slamming the door with such force I'm surprised it hasn't come off the hinges. Vicki stalks round the bed, heading for the mini-bar and pouring herself a dangerous measure of whiskey, knocking it back in one. She doesn't even like whiskey.

"Vicki, you shouldn't be drinking that much!" Sharon goes forward, possibly to pull the glass from her hand, but Vicki flings her back.

"And you shouldn't be fucking our brother! Get the Hell off me!"

Sharon leaps obediently away, looking so stung.

With a groan, Vicki sinks back down on the bed, holding her head in her hands for a moment. But then she straightens up, a forced smile on her lips and looking bleary-eyed.

"So-" she begins tiredly. "-when did this all start exactly? C'mon, tell me, when's the first time you two crawled into bed together? Was I at home?"

I bite into my lip, well aware that Sharon is doing the same, trying hard not to look at me as I am her. Because what are we supposed to say?

But Vicki catches the way we're looking so nervously at each other. "Don't even think about lying to me. When?!"

"The night D-Dad came back." Sharon stammers.

Vicki's eyes narrow, sure she must have misunderstood. "I bring your dad back to you after fourteen years, and you're screwing his son?"

"Now d'you get why she told me it wouldn't happen?" I question dryly.

"But it already had, hadn't it?"

"Jesus Christ Vicki, do you think I'd have let it happen if all I wanted was sex?"

"I don't know!" she cries out, pressurised. "I don't know what I'm supposed to think anymore Dennis cos I never imagined this'd happen and it is, isn't it? It's happening. Why is it? Why are you doing this to me? She told you she didn't, that it wouldn't... but you told me you've been sleeping together since before we flew out here and you have no idea how sick that makes me feel!"

"I'm sorry, Vicks. I always knew you'd- I'm sorry! Darlin', I wish I could change this for you, but I can't! I can't." I look awkwardly at Sharon, unsurprised to find she's fixated by the carpet and won't look back at me. "It's always been there. For me anyway. The second I met you guys, I- oh God, I'd have gone mad if I hadn't said anything Vicki, please understand that. I'd have gone insane."

"I'm not sure you haven't." she mutters, so quietly it's as if she didn't really want to be heard. Louder, she questions; "What did you say?"

That throws me. "What?"

"What did you say to Sharon? What did you say to make her fall into bed with you?"

I blink, stunned and silent still. Because, y'know, the every detail has haunted me for so long until now, I've been trying so hard to forget it all. Cos at last, I've been happy. With Sharon, the way I need to be. And I can barely believe it as she begins to speak, gaze locked on mine as the words slip serenely past her lips, my words, drawing me back to that night when I tried so hard to let it go.

"I lie here, night after night, and I listen to you in there. And I can hear you moving about, and I know you're no more asleep than I am. And I
think, what would happen if I just got up now, walked in her room, shut the door behind me, didnt say a word, just got into bed with her? What would she do? Would you lamp me around the face, chuck me out, or are you lying there, waiting for me to come in, hoping that it's me and not you that's gonna make the first move. Well, here I am, making my move. What happens next is up to you!"

"You remember?" I murmur, aware I'm shaking and hardly daring to look at her. 

But she looks back at me easily enough, softness in her eyes as she nods gently. "Of course I remember, Dennis. I remember all of it. How was I supposed to forget?"

"I don't know." I mumble pathetically towards the carpet, feeling a regretful lump rise in my throat. "I just... I thought you had."

"I haven't. And I won't." Uneasiness sets in between us. We obviously haven't been as open and honest as we might have been. So instead, Sharon looks at Vicki, who predictably looks disgusted. But Sharon holds her attention with a steely look. "D'you understand that, Vicki? I won't. Those were his words, but whatever he says to you now, it'll be lies darlin'. I don't deny I tried to run, but the truth of it is, I made the first move. I could have just let him walk out, have a strop, y'know? He'd have been back in the morning and we coulda just carried on. But I stopped him, Vicki. I kissed him to make him stay. And I know this is killing you darlin', but I won't say I'm sorry. I won't forget a second of it because I'm not sorry. That's what you need to deal with."

72. Vicki

What I need to deal with. Jesus Christ. I'm there, sat rigidly on the bed, repulsed to even look at her, to read the sheer defiance in her eyes, and yet, I can't stop. This is my big sister. Sharon. She's been there for all of my life. Always, right from when I was a kid. When Mum moved on with life, had Mark, met Tim, Sharon made me feel like I had a place even when she was thousands of miles across the Atlantic. When I'd been miserable at home, I hadn't thought anything of going to Sharon in Walford. Because she was my family. She's promised to always look after me, and unlike with Tim, with whom the words had been hollow, I knew she meant it.

But now there's Dennis. Our brother. The part of the family I was so proud to bring to Sharon, because I wanted so much to prove to her that we could have our own family, that we could belong. And now I feel sick at myself because she's been letting him into her bed, having him touch her... and that's not how families are supposed to be. They went to bed together the night I brought Dad back, again so proud of myself, more so than in Dennis' case even, because in Dad was the man Sharon wanted more than anyone. But now that word just feels so dirty. Because at the exact same moment, she's wanted Dennis a whole lot more. 

And I'm silently sending myself crazy as I sit here, looking back at her fiery eyes, thinking; what were they doing when I was telling Dad how lonely Sharon had been without him? Kissing? Was Dennis kissing her? His mouth on hers... on her skin... tearing at her clothes? She... She could never have wanted that could she? She was grieving - she hated Dennis for trying to make her see Dad was still alive. Didn't she? Or had she just been waiting for an excuse to invite him into her bed to.. to... oh my God.

"I cleaned up. You bitch! I cleaned up!"

I leap up in accusation, flinging her away. She disgusts me. Suppose it's some small comfort that she doesn't look surprised. Dennis however, looks horrified that I threw her off so savagely, and exclusive hatred roars inside that I need him to feel in his own right.

"The flat looked like a bomb had hit it that night! I thought you'd had a row! But you'd- and I cleaned up!"

"I know..."

"No, you don't!" I shriek angrily. "You don't have any idea! I felt horrible. Because Sharon couldn't deal with the truth and you... well, I hadn't told him about you, had I? And you seemed so cut up. But why, Dennis, eh? Was it cos the guy you'd spent so many years idolising didn't give a damn? Or because Sharon just crawled away and refused you the action replay?"

"Vicki, please!" Sharon cries out desperately. "Just stop this!"

"Why should I?" I demand viciously, looking hatefully between the two of them. "You're not going to, are you? This whole dirty-"

"It's not!" she protests, wincing as she was forced to take in the words. "It's not."

I fall back in amazement. Because, just to look at her, I know she means it completely. I study her, horror-struck. My heart is beating painfully in my chest. I can barely breathe and I'm crying out for someone to blame. But of course, that someone is already here. And Dennis seems to know I'd be coming back to him, straightening up a little to defy me, his eyes stony and cold.

"You've brainwashed her..."

"Jesus Christ!" he mutters dismissively, rolling his eyes. And I hate him all the more for treating me that way. Rage spills over inside, making me shake even more violently as I fly at him, furious sobs tearing through me as I raise my hands to strike him over and over.

"You bastard! You've taken her from me! My sister! Mine! I didn't have to find you! She didn't even want me to! But I did! I did and what fucking thanks do I get? You're sick!"

He manages to overpower me pretty damn easily the bastard. I hate him for it. The least he can do is let me tear him into pieces. But he isn't the only one that touches me. I feel Sharon's nails press dangerously into the flesh of my arm, wrenching me away. "You stupid little girl!" she hisses angrily. "Look what you've done!"

I turn proudly, smirking as I see blood oozing from a Vicki-inflicted gash just below his eye.  "That was nothing!"

"Shut up!" she demands warningly. 

I shrug lazily and sit eagerly back down on the edge of the bed, just watching the two of them. They're actually pathetic.

"Don't touch it! Dennis, it's bleeding."

"Yeah-" he responds dryly, looking down at the scarlet liquid glistening on his fingertips. "-noticed thanks." Then he sighs. "Sharon, she's right; it's nothing-"

"I can give you worse if you want..." I offer brightly. 

But Sharon whirls round, staring me angrily down. "You just don't get it do you? He could report you for that. And you know he won't because he loves you so damn much!"

"I can do without his kinda love, thanks."

Her eyes widen dangerously, not appreciating my sarcasm. "That's your choice." she tells me bluntly. "But I can't."

"Then you should be thanking me, you bitch! It's you that doesn't get this! I found him, Sharon. Me. You didn't wanna know, cos you didn't wanna believe it had ever been anything more than you remembered - Den's precious fuckin' Princess. But there he is, he exists, Sharon. Our brother. And what do you do? You break all the rules, you destroy the family you wanted so much! And for what? You'd never ever have met him any other way. And if you had, if... you woulda bolted and we all know that! You hate his world!"

Sharon gulps back her protests guiltily. Because she knows it's the truth. "He's... He's more than that, Vicki."

"Yeah." I agree in a bitter hiss. "He's easy sex."

Sharon groans, pressing her fingertips to her throbbing temples. "Ugh... this is like banging my head against a brick wall. Why won't you listen?"

"Because I've been listening. To you... and to him. And all I've heard is lies. You knew I'd suck anything in, cos I'd never have believed this. I still don't want to, and you're making me so you can what... fuck for a fortnight? Everything... Everything... you "ill" in Dennis' room? You'd been at it and don't even try and deny it! Him, buying you that dress-" I look her up and down in disgust and she shivers from within the flimsy material. "-he... God how many times has it been on his floor, Sharon? And when you had the migraine... I knew he was too worked up, I knew it. No wonder though, I mean, it's gotta be a right bummer when your night's fucking falls through! And... you talking in your sleep-" My stomach swirls readily with nausea. "-you were talking about him and... he knew! "We don't mean to hurt you darlin', but we're in love!" In love with him! How could you?"

She looks back at me, stricken. "I didn't do it to spite you, Vicki. He's already told you... it wasn't what I wanted for a long time. But I do love him. And I'm sorry that hurts you darlin', I'm sorry. But that won't change. I thought it would, really, but... you don't know how pathetic I am without him. I need him. And I'm sorry-"

But then she turns her head away and looks at him, repeating herself.

"I'm so sorry."

And just like I do, he flinches as he tenderly presses the cut. But while he is bewildered, I am furious at this confusion.

"Why are you apologising to him?" I demand.

Sharon looks tearfully at the opposite wall, biting into her quivering lip as she anxiously wrings her shaking hands. "Because whatever happens now darlin', we're all heartbroken, don't you see that? Look at him, Vicki, really look at him. Hasn't it occurred to you that he didn't want me telling you because... I tried to leave him, darlin'. For your sake, for the sake of our family. I really hurt him and you know what, on my own, I didn't feel all that great either. Maybe he was hurting enough to just hope I'd keep my mouth shut and God, I know how much easier it woulda been, but it woulda killed me. And I'd have to watch it kill him too..."

"Oh what, so you're destroying me to save yourselves?"

But my sister shakes her head miserably. "That was the theory, yeah. But what if he doesn't want me anymore eh? What about that? What if he wants to make you happy... be your brother? I don't fit in there, Vicki. I never will, not now."

"Then you should have thought about that."

She looks up at me sorrowfully, saying simply. "I'm in love with him, Vicki, there was nothing to think about."

"Me! There's me!"

"Yeah. But the thought of you didn't stop me falling in love with him, did it? If it's over, if it's really over, then I have to accept I've lost you both and... Vicki, I'd rather die..."

I pity her. My independent and always strong big sister. I pity her. Because she's love sick.... her love is sick. She's weak and desperate - and she isn't the only one that stands to lose everything. I won't do it. I won't.

My heart pounds with fear as I look over at my big brother, ashen and still, his shimmering eyes locked on Sharon. He looks just as scared as I feel. He'll hold on won't he? To me? Oh God, please say he'll hold on.

My voice shivers dangerously, but somehow, the words are born stronger than I could ever have imagined. It makes hope flicker inside. "Tell her it's over, Dennis. Let me hear you tell her it's over."

73. Dennis

I recoil. I can't help it. Vicki's demanding. I understand why, but it doesn't mean I hate the feeling of being caged any less. All it ever manages to do is make me wanna lash out. Just to be free. The only time I've ever really felt like that has been these last few days with Sharon. And now, now's make or break.

"Don't tell me what to do." I warn Vicki darkly.

But she refuses to heed it. "Why not? Someone needs to. It's obvious no-one ever has or you wouldn't be sleeping with your sister!"

"I'm not talking to you like this!"

"Well good!" she cries out despairingly. "It's not me you need to talk to!" And she glares dangerously at Sharon. But I just shake my head and remain firm.

"It's not happening like this."

Her eyes flame. "I don't think you're in any position to tell me how this is gonna be, Dennis!"

I scowl. She's not going to play me like this. And it's not just me. Sharon's terrified, really. And I can tell how much of her deserting energy it's taking to force herself to keep looking down at the floor, to not look at me. I can read it in her every tension, holding her drained body rigid in terror. Did I do that to her? Did I really? God, I'm a shit. How did she ever love me?

"Let me talk to her."

She shrugs lazily. "I'm not stopping you." she says coldly, eyes locking on Sharon again. And Sharon seems to feel the chill, folding her arms protectively across her chest and fruitlessly trying to warm her bare skin as she backs away. "Talk to her..."

"Alone, Vicki." And she looks back at me, repulsed, like I've just suggested she goes and hangs herself. "For God's sake! So I've been sleeping with her! You were oblivious all the time; you really think I'm gonna jump on her now you know? Now you're gonna be on the other side of the door counting the fuckin' seconds away? I just want to talk to her! And if you won't give me that, then I'm walking out of here - you decide when you'll see me again!"

"Go out there." she sneers, flinging her arm out to gesture to the balcony. "Don't let the thought of me stop you from doing anything stupid will you? It obviously never has before."

Sharon shoves desperately past her and opens the door to escape to the balcony before I can even go forward. Biting back a sigh, I follow her out, Vicki glaring back out at me through the glass as I slide the door shut. 

I kinda don't wanna turn round, to have to face Sharon and with it, this, my bastard reality. But I really do need to talk to her - if only she looked well enough to take it. She's bent over the railings of the balcony, her hand clamped to her mouth. And she looks so pale.

"I think I'm gonna be sick..."

"Sharon, just breathe, you'll be alright..."

"Liar." she replies miserably as she straightens up, still gripping the railings fiercely and obediently taking in a deep, shivering breath, before jerkily turning her head to look at me, her mesmerising eyes burning into mine. Tears are brimming and it's everything I want to look away, but I just can't. "It's over isn't it, Dennis? You're gonna tell her it's really over."

"Are you leaving me any choice?"

"Me! I wanna be your choice. Please Dennis, I didn't do this to spite you. I did it to prove myself. I need you..."

"Vicki needs us Sharon." I tell her gently. 

But she swallows down a sob and shakes her head to dismiss me. "I need us. And so did you. You made us!" 

I blanch my lip, blinking furiously to keep back tears I don't want her to know exist. She sighs softly and, still gripping the railing, sidles up to me. Her closeness in itself is intoxicating and terrifying all at the same time. I close my eyes for a second, allowing myself to be surrounded by how much I need her before my stomach gives a nauseating jolt and I realise I need to hide from her in equal measure.

"Did you make a mistake, Dennis?"

I feel accusation flame through my body as I look at her, so horrified I can't even speak. But Sharon smiles weakly.

"We all make them, sweetheart. It's fine... really."

"No it's not." I bluster. "Not if you really believe that."

"I've believed lots of things of you, Dennis, and look where we are eh? So yeah, I'll admit, I'm not so sure anymore. I don't wanna believe this was a mistake, me and you, but... tell me it was. Tell me and I'll accept it."

"What happened to shutting down? What happened to "I'd rather die"?"

"I would." she assures me immediately, shrugging casually. "Sad thing is they're all pretty lonely options. None of them are really worth having. So you tell me what to do darlin', c'mon."

"I... God, Sharon, I... just want you to be happy, y'know?"

The next breath she brings in sounds worryingly shallow, but her smile remains, her hand twitching along the railing until it comes to rest daringly over my own hand, her fingers slotting as perfectly as they have ever done between mine. And yet, this touch will not dare to feel as good as it did. It's forbidden most definitely now. It's tainted. And yet I can't let go.

"That's all I want for you too."

I force myself to smile, holding no faith in the words I speak. "So... we'll be alright then?"

Sharon's eyes dim and she lifts her hand away, looking deliberately in the other direction, at the floor, anywhere but at me. And it hurts. It hurts me because I know it hurts her and I... oh God...

I step back, aware how desperately I already miss her touch as I try my best not to sigh. I turn away, back to the door, ready to go back in... to break Sharon's heart just to spend the rest of my life with Vicki hating me anyway. Sharon's right. It's gonna be so damn lonely.

"Stay with me. Please..."

I freeze, each of those words hitting me like bricks across the back of the head. I heard the breath she drew in before speaking. It was massive, must have taken all the courage she has left. And those four words, those four desperate words, Jesus Christ, they sounded like they're all that's left inside her.

Against my better judgement, (was my judgement ever better?) I turn around again, eyes narrowed as I try and gauge her sincerity. And there it is. In a face I have never seen so anxious. She's feverish, she's shaking and still there are tears in her eyes, her fragile voice sounding so painfully close to shattering as she dares to speak again.

 "What I asked of you out on the beach wasn't fair. It wasn't. And I know that because... I can't do it, Dennis. You know that. It didn't even matter you were angry with me, less than two hours and where was I? If I could just run home and hide behind Vicki and Dad and pretend it's all alright then I would. I would because I want to have your family. But the truth is, I want you to need me more. I'm in love with you and it's not gonna go away just cos it would be easier like that. Let's just be together. Please!"

I bite painfully into my lip, sure I can taste blood for the force of it. It hurts to even look at her because it's all I want to pull her to me and never let go. And yet as she stands there, offloading her confessions, I'm as terrified of her as she is of them.

"Don't." I plead listlessly. "Don't do this to yourself!"

"I have to!" she replies, voice finally shattering as the sobs take her. "Don't walk out on us darlin' please! I'm begging you, don't leave me here."

I look guiltily down, biting harder still into my lip. My silence frustrates her and for the first time, she finds the strength to break away from the railing, rushing towards me and catching her hands around my face, forcing my gaze to become level with hers. And self-hatred swirls as I'm forced to take in the messy tear tracks staining her face.

"You don't really want to, I know you don't. I love you... so much and you'll never convince me you don't still love me too. Because you do, don't you? It doesn't really matter what Vicki says... you still love me."

I force my eyes shut, just wishing I could look back at her and lie. Just once. Just so we might still have something. But I look back into her glistening eyes and I know it's a lost cause. Because I'm in love with those eyes. They're never gonna let me go.

"Yeah." I confess weakly, nodding. "I do. I still love you."

"So stay with me." she pleads in a broken murmur. "I'll make you happy, I swear I will. Just tell me I can be enough and I'm yours. Please darlin', please don't let us go."

I force myself to look away, stepping back from her touch. God, I miss it so much already. "But if I did-" I say bluntly. "-if I did, it's not anything you haven't already tried is it Sharon? You were gonna walk away from me!"

"Yes!" she shrieks desperately, looking as though I may as well have twisted a physical knife in her back. "And I literally came crawling back because I hated who I was without you. Nothing made sense. I need you and if you're honest, you need me too. Unless you wanna go back to that oblivion... unless you really wanna send yourself crazy. I can't watch that happen to you, Dennis. Not when I know how you really feel. Please just say we'll try."

74. 

Relief in itself should be enough to make me throw my arms around her, feel her, taste her, swear to her I won't ever let her go. Because she means what's she's saying. I can tell that undoubtedly from the unbridled terror in her eyes. She can't even try to hide it. Not that I'd know what to feel if she did. Oh God, what to feel, what to feel. There's so many possibilities right now and I don't have the nerve to settle on any one of them. She's terrifying me. Does she know that really?

I don't say a word. It's painful to even take my gaze from her face. But I go back to my failsafe - biting into my lip and staring awkwardly at the ground as I try to find words, any words, stepping back towards the door.

I sigh heavily, admitting defeat. And that seems to animate Sharon in the worst kind of way. I pretend I can't see it as she begins to shudder. Protesting goosebumps have risen on her bare flesh. Her bottom lip's trembling treacherously, no matter how much pressure she exerts on it to keep it still. She's coming apart right in front of me. And I don't know what to do.

My hands shaking as I begin to pull the door across.

"I'm not going back in there." Sharon whispers meekly.

"We have to..."

"We?" she echoes viciously. "There is no "we"! There's you... and me. Separate people... separate lives right? You go and tell her whatever you need to, Dennis. But don't expect me to listen to it!"

Ouch. This hurts. Hearing her talk like that. And it's all my own fuckin' fault. And I've stayed looking painfully at her for a moment too long. Because now she's shivering self-consciously, nerves attacking her. 

She smiles anxiously as she takes half a step towards me, almost managing to laugh as she asks; "D'you have any cigarettes?"

I blink, astonished. "Course I have." My hand flitters instinctively to my pocket.

"Well..." she probes slowly. "...can I have one then?"

I turn my head, giving her an odd look out the corner of my eye as I obediently lift the crumpled packet from my pocket. "But you don't... Sharon, you don't smoke..."

She leans over and wrenches the packet desperately from my hand. "Now's as good a time as any to start, wouldn't you say? Oh look, just go yeah? Tell Vicki it's done."

Then she looks down and opens the packet, slipping one of the cigarettes between her desperate lips and fumbling to spark the lighter she holds in the same trembling hand as the packet. It makes me piteous to watch, especially when I consider the number of times I must have been the subject of that image before now. The end eventually ignites and Sharon drags in the poisons deep with her next shallow breath, trying to pretend she does not see me, even though her tearful eyes do not leave me.

"Sharon, I-"

She makes no protence about turning completely away, her back to me, refusing to take in anymore. "Go!"

And I do. It's the last thing I want, especially on my own. I feel a lot weaker on my own. But it's not as though Sharon has any strength to give me anymore. I squandered that too. Stepping back into Vicki's room, I turn without a word to draw the door shut after me. I watch Sharon flinch as it closes and I wait... I hope and I pray that she'll turn around. But she doesn't. Her faith is all gone. I have to do this alone.

Vicki leaps up from the bed, her eyes alive with accusation as she wrings her hands. "Did you tell her?"

"No."

She recoils, her tear-stained face twisting in anger. "What?"

"Vicki, this can't work like that..."

"I know!" she barks dangerously. "That's why you're finishing it!"

"I'm not." I tell her stiffly. "I'm not."

"But... you have to."

"I don't have to do anything and neither does Sharon!"

"No? So where is she then? Why isn't she here too?"

"She tried Vicki. You know she did. She tried to make you understand-"

"How am I supposed to understand this? You've been sleeping with our sister! It's dirty and it's wrong and... why doesn't it make your skin crawl like it does mine? Why?"

I claw back my lip. Poor cow. She just can't-

"You know the answer to that Vicks. You know I love her too."

And the way she staggers back, tears pouring so readily down, gagging for her next breath, hands clamped to her mouth, shaking her head desperately in disbelief, God, you'd think I'd just taken a knife to her throat. The only thing missing is the blood. We both know I couldn't have wounded her any more.

She whimpers as she sinks back onto the bed. "This is wrong!" she shrieks angrily. "It's all wrong! You can't- You can't!"

"But I do." I whisper cautiously. "I love her."

"Why are you telling me?" my little sister demands suspicious, her eyes cold and hard. "Why isn't she here to hear you say that?" But realisation dawns on her without me having to say a single word. "She doesn't believe you does she? She's hiding out there cos she thinks you're gonna leave her!"

"Yeah. Yeah, I reckon that is what she thinks..."

"So... So make it happen!"

I scowl. I can't believe her. "What?"

"Well, she's obviously accepted it. Dennis, don't you see, she's let go, she's trying to make it right!"

"It was right!" I snap, hating how suddenly a painful lump rises in my throat. "Just me and her, it was everything - and your fuckwit boyfriend ruined it! This isn't a mistake Vicki, it don't need correcting! I don't wanna pretend it was never there!"

Tears brim in her eyes, her bottom lip quivering dangerously. A strangled sob escapes her and she crumples into a heap. "I do! Why won't you let me? Why do you and Sharon hate me so bloody much?"

I hang my head in exasperation, lifting my palms to cover my feverish face. "Vicki, no! We don't hate you! We love-"

"-each other." she finishes hatefully. "I wanted to find you so I could have a brother, Dennis, not so you could fall into bed with our sister! How could you do this to me?"

"I don't know." I tell her honestly, blanching guiltily at my lip. "I really don't know."

"Then please, just stop it, just stop it now!"

"I can't. I can't do that to her."

"What about me?" she pleads desperately. And she really is shattering me. And I really don't know what to say.

"Vicki, I-"

But it doesn't matter because she isn't prepared to hear any of it, tilting her head away in disgust. I crouch down, grappling for her shivering hands. She scowls venemously, but I defy her with a look and hold on, stroking tenderly across her red and angry knuckles.

"I should be thankin' you darlin'. I know that. Cos I honestly thought... I was expecting to just... leave prison and not... make it to the end of the year. I was so sure I was dead, and for a long time, I didn't care. I was just waiting. Then I met you two. And I- I swear to God, I woulda stopped it if I could. Cos you're right y'know. I didn't know anything about love, and knowing that I was feeling it, not knowing how... I was terrified, can you believe that? Because I knew it was the last thing I- but... being with Sharon, it's the only thing that's ever felt right in my entire life. I'd give anything to make it stop hurting you sis, but I can't give her up. She tried to make me and.. and we were both sent half crazy. Why should we suffer that when it's obvious we-"

Vicki shrieks painfully at those last words and shoves me forcefully back. "But it wasn't obvious you bastard! You snuck round... you lied to me! And the look on your faces all those times... you enjoyed it too!"

"No! I just- I have to be with her. And I'm sorry Vicki, but that's how it's gonna be. Me & Sharon are gonna be together."

75. Sharon

Ugh, that tasted absolutely foul. I flick the smouldering butt away, already regretting the taste left to linger on my tongue. I've just forced however many thousands of poisons into my system, and I'm still no better off, shaking like crazy. The night's deceptively warm around me, but still I am cold, feeling exposed in the thin material of my dress. I love this thing so much. I love it because... because Dennis does. But what if it's all different now? What if all there's left to feel is dirty? Forcefully, I bite back the regretful tears, ready to fall. In fact, I'm biting so hard into my lip, I'm wincing in pain as I shake, back to gripping the railing to hold myself up.

I feel so damn lonely out here. I can make out the shapes of people walking the prom, wound together, half drunk by now and shrieking with laughter - and I'd give anything to be one of them. But I'm not, because I'm up here, waiting for my life to fall apart around me, never wanting to be conscious of the moment it will happen. I just want to kid myself for a few seconds more that I still have something. Because, to have been made so happy in these last few days and to know it's going to be so cruelly wrenched away any moment, oh God, it's like a stranger has reached inside of me, not caring as they rip my heart out. And what's worse is that I know it's no stranger that reaches to hurt me. It's Dennis. Because he has no other choice.

The tears begin to fall simply to spite me, and I fight not to stamp my foot like a spoilt and wronged teenager. Because I tried to give him choices. I still want to be his choice. But his silence said it all - I'm not enough. So it's all I want now to break apart. But how can I let him see that? Self consciously, I turn and glance through the pane of the door.

Vicki's sat back against the bed, her shivering hands in her lap, her face contorted in disgust as Dennis crouches in front of her, holding out them with his own, his lips moving softly to the notion of words I can't make out. It sends a chill right through me because... the scene shouldn't look like this. I was never expecting Vicki's tears to be dry, but surely she should look, I don't know... relieved?

But she doesn't. At all. And her expression only worsens, lip curling as she leaps up, evidently screaming what I have no doubt is a whole line of expletives at him as she flies forward, striking him hard across the face. I flinch, sure I heard the contact from here even. He didn't even try and defend himself. And surely he'd have known to try after the last time? But he doesn't straighten up, or recover. He just freezes, as if he's savouring the pain of it, even as Vicki storms out. She slams the door so hard it rebounds and swings open again without her notice. And I'm so confused. How can she be so angry? So angry when... when I'm the one with nothing now? Vicki has her family back. Doesn't she know how lucky she is at my expense?

I can't stop the concern for Dennis beating painful against my ribcage either. Why... Why hasn't he gone after her? Forcing myself to draw in one cold, sobering breath I'd rather not have had to breathe at all, I step forward and with a surprisingly steady hand, pull the door across and slip back into the room, staring through the glass a little too long. I don't know whether I'm mpre terrified of the lonely night I can see is out there waiting for me in this uncertain misery, or the fact that I can see the reflection of this room behind him. Dennis is rigid, a little straighter now, but rigid nonetheless at having recognised my presence. His lips are quivering, but there are no words there to speak.

That, I realise, falls to me.

"What did... What did you say to her?"

Just one corner of his mouth rises, soundlessly mocking my apparant naiveity. "What do you think?"

"I d-don't know." I stammer honestly. "It's why I'm asking."

A brief smile graces his lips, calming my sickening nerves a little as I am assured that this gesture is meant.

"I told her it wasn't gonna happen." he mumbles, sounding almost guiltily as he looks down at the carpet.

"What wasn't?"

And he sighs desperately, lifting his head so his gaze levels with mine, his sad eyes so painfully captivating. "I told her we're gonna be together, me and you..."

The enormity of this confession hits me like a ten foot wave. I have no breath inside me to breathe. All I can do is look at him. Now I have no words. And my silence seems to terrify him. He steps anxiously forward, tripping over his words as he closes the awful distance between us.

"Sharon, I... I said the right thing didn't I?"

The most incomprehensible mix of relief and disbelief shakes me violently now. The hot tears are begging to pour readily from my eyes, but I daren't let them. My voice is barely a whisper.

"I really thought you were going to leave me."

"So did I." he confesses weakly. It stings, but what can I do except admire his honesty? Didn't I try and do this to him earlier? "But I can't, can I?"

"Yes you can." I assure him shakily. "I'm not gonna stop you. I'll hate it, but I won't- what you need is all that matters to me."

"Well good. Cos that's all I know right now. I need you. And I can't make it be any other way."

A nervous knot materialises in the pit of my stomach as he reaches to touch me, the softest smile curving his anxiously set lips as he tenderly strokes hair back from my face. I almost sag in relief as I savour it. His touch is so warm and gentle, and makes me aware of how much I have missed him.

"I love you, Sharon. And I swear, I wouldn't blame you if you didn't wanna believe in that anymore, but it's all I've got and I... I couldn't let it go. I love you so much."

I press my hand over his, turning my head to kiss his fingertips. He shakes a little less and then his hand drops down and I let my arms surround him, holding him desperately tight as I nestle against his ear, murmuring fretfully; "I thought I'd lost you..."

"No... you weren't lucky enough this time."

I laugh gently in spite of myself, relaxed as his words warm the crook of my neck. "This time? I'm never letting you go again..."

"Promise?"

"Swear!" I assure him anxiously, pulling myself a little further against him just to feel his closeness, idly stroking up the nape of his neck with shivering hands. "Oh God, I was so scared. Thank you darlin', thank you so much. I'll never let you regret this, I swear."

But feeling how I shudder, Dennis draws back, brow furriwed and those depthless eyes shimmering in concern. He sees the tracks my grateful tears are making down my face and reaches, with the release of the softest sight to stroke the droplets away with the pads of his thumbs.

"How am I supposed to regret it? I've got you."