Sharon felt so alone. Since Zoe moved in, it was always like she didn't exist, like she was the last thing that Chrissie or Vicki or Dennis ever thought of. She didn't like feeling perpetulant like this. Made her feel like Zoe. Young, naive and so infuratingly stupid. That's usually when Sharon would glug some vodka, try and blot out such thoughts. And tonight was no different. She'd finished her shift at Angie's Den half an hour ago; it was nearly half past three. Her feet hurt and she wanted to scream. Kat and Zoe had been in Angie's Den being drunk and disorderly. Screaming out for anyone who would have a go to come and find them. It made Sharon laugh bitterly. Imagining Zoe rammed up against some dirty brick wall with some grubby two-bit salesman with his grubby hands all over her, giggling drunkenly as he poked about inside her. You'd have to be very drunk indeed, but luckily Zoe was already there by closing time most nights.

It was some bitter satisfaction to think of it like that, some nobody taking Dennis' place. He had been gone ten days now, and Sharon was fine with that, really she was. OK, so she had to apply her mascara a couple more times in the mornings, and she seemed to buying more aspirins and gin miniatures recently, but maybe that was just her. Maybe it had nothing to do with Dennis.

She thought very little of him now. She vaguely remembered a time when she loved him more than anything in the world, when she would do anything to keep him close. But since he'd shoved her so far back in favour of some naive little girl who believed in fairytales and jumped up tales of romance, she didn't give a toss. She'd got angry, then she'd sobbed. Then she felt nothing. Nothing for him, pity for her. She had no idea that she was being used.

	Sharon laughed at the thought, plopped herself down on the settee, swinging her legs up underneath her. She didn't care how Dennis, or Zoe or anyone for that matter saw her anymore.

	"Sharon?"

	"Oh Chrissie!" she smiled, getting up and kissing her stepmother on the cheek. 

That was a weird thought; Chrissie was her stepmother and yet they were practically the same age, and really really good mates. Sharon could talk to her about a lot of things. But she'd developed a bit of a soft spot for Zoe recently, had always been telling Dennis, right up until the moment he'd scarpered, even during the few rushed phone conversations he had graced them with, that he was treating her appallingly. No mention of how appallingly he'd treated Sharon, but then who would care? Sharon was a grown woman, was supposed to be able to pick herself up from a fall and just get on with it. She resented that. Why was Zoe the one getting all the help?

	"Zoe home yet?" she asked, pouring herself and Sharon a glass of wine and curling up next to her.

	Sharon couldn't stop herself saying: "This isn't her home Chrissie."

	All she got was a cold stare.

	"Well it's not!" she bleated, taking a steady sip. "The only reason she's here at all is that Dennis decided he wanted sex on tap."

	"You think babe? You don't think they have feelings for each other or anything completely unimaginable like that?"

	"I'm not saying that." Sharon murmured gently, feeling a bit mean. She wasn't going to come out of this sounding like the jealous ex lover. "She has feelings for him. They're just a bit misguided."

	"How'd you mean?"

	Sharon appeared to mull over her response, but really it had been dwelling in her mouth since it had happened. "Well, look at the time Vicki was doing her college project. Zoe looked like a little girl sat on Santa's knee. And she picked up that stupid bit of curtain net like we're the bloody Von Trapp family, and starts wittering on about how it would be to marry Dennis."

	"She's in love Sharon."

	"I thought to be in love it had to be reciprocated? Besides, he'd probably only just binned their first johnny and she's talking all hearts and flowers. That's not Dennis' style Chrissie."

	"You know that, I know that. But she's young Sharon. You've got to let the girl have dreams."

	"False hope you mean? Chrissie, Dennis isn't ever going to want to get married and have kids."

	"What makes you say that?"

	"I just know. And Zoe certainly isn't mature enough for him."

	"Hmmm!" Chrissie managed urgently through a mouthful of wine. "Like Dennis has been the model of maturity doing a bunk like he has."

	"I'm not sticking up for him. believe me, I'd love to be the first person to lay into the selfish bastard. But Zoe's not young. She's a little girl. She thinks Dennis is some Romeo on a white horse, only it was never white in the first place because Dennis has dragged it through so much shit. Zoe just can't smell it yet. She's still smelling the roses the shit's been put on."

	"You're going a bit deep here aren't you Sharon?"

	"He's not a shallow person."

	"What you think he cares?"

	And for all the times that Sharon could have said she didn't give a damn, that Dennis didn't matter anymore, the way Chrissie said it made Sharon want to curl up and cry. Now didn't matter to her, she knew that much was true. Dennis could screw it up anyway he liked. But he must have cared somewhere along the line?

	"I dunno." she mumbled pathetically.

	"Oh babe, I'm sorry." Chrissie sighed, taking her hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

	"What are you sorry for?" Sharon blustered, barely managing to smile.

	"Sharon, I'm not your dad. I don't disapprove of you and Dennis. All I see when I look at you two is two people who were in love. It just.... went wrong somewhere along the line, that's all."

	"That's all? Chrissie, he left me."

	"I know babe-"

	"No you don't!" she answered savagely, pulling her hand away. "I thought we loved each other. You have no idea how much it took to learn to love Dennis. Then he decided he didn't need me, he didn't need to love me anymore. I could just about cope with that. But then he hooked up with Zoe, and yeah, OK, we need to move on from each other.... but she's what... ten years younger than him? Give him another couple of years and he'll be hanging round the playground."

	"Sharon!" Chrissie scolded, putting down her glass and looking at her step-daughter with a disappointed look in her eye. "That was a horrible thing to say!" 

	"I don't care." Sharon answered honestly. "I don't care about him, or her. They're welcome to each other."

	"Good! I'm glad to hear it. After all, you've moved on now haven't you babe? Bagged yourself one gorgeous fella in that James."

	"I might have done. But thanks to Dennis I won't know."

	"What happened?"

	"Dennis thumped him. Because he was with me!"

	Chrissie gasped and her eyes grew wide. "He never? You must be joking; oh what a bastard! You can tell he's your father's son alright."

	"He's allowed to have who he wants Chrissie." Sharon's voice was shaking with emotion. "Why can't I have someone too?"

	"Because that boy of yours reckons he's special. He's not Sharon. He just feels for you that's all."

	"What does he feel for me Chrissie, what? Because as far as I'm concerned there's nothing there anymore."

	Chrissie could see in Sharon's face as she spoke of what had happened between her and Dennis that she would benefit from a good cry. She'd never realised he'd treated her like such shit. No wonder Sharon had always given her venemous looks when she had tried to stick up for Dennis. She didn't know why she had bothered now; felt like going to tell Zoe exactly the same thing. But instead she sat in the lounge, moodily drinking her wine. Sharon had remained strong, and had simply fallen asleep in Chrissie's lap. 

	Chrissie found it strange that she could be stepmother to such a wonderful woman and friend when they were so close in age. Their tastes were similar too it seemed, why Sharon had fallen so cautiously for the young more rougish version of Chrissie's own husband. Dennis had his charms, he'd proved that by hooking up with young Zoe so soon after dumping Sharon. Like she had never mattered, Chrissie noted, angry on Sharon's behalf, playing with strands of her hair.

	Maybe she had a point about Zoe. Maybe she was foolish to believe there was a rosy predictable future with Dennis. because if there was one thing Chrissie had learnt tonight, over these past few days or so, was that her step-son was anything but predictable. The fairytales that Zoe craved simply didn't believe in Dennis. They weren't going to happen. So what exactly was Zoe waiting for?

	Chrissie turned her head to listen as the front door slammed shut. Someone was home. With a bemused smile, Chrissie waited to hear Zoe's drunken giggling as she fell heavily onto the stairs. But it didn't come. Instead there was a soft creaking as whoever it was stood on the loose floorboard near the radiator. Chrissie fixed her gaze on the doorway, intrigued and waiting expectantly.

	She wasn't sure if she'd seen right at first, but that ruffled hair and uncertain smile were unmistakable. If Sharon had not been finally relaxed in her lap, sleeping, forgetting all the troubles that the heartless bastard stood in the doorway had put her through, Chrissie would have jumped straight to her feet and lamped the selfish bastard round the head.

	"Hiya." 

	"Shhhh!" she said immediately, not even bothering to return his smile and gesturing urgently to Sharon.

	"Is she alright?"

	"Would you really care?"

	"What? Of course I would."

	"Then where have you been?"

	"OK-" he sighed, knowing that the big lecture was fast approaching. "I know, I'm sorry, it was wrong of me to just take off like that, but I needed some time to think."

	"Well rehearsed Dennis. Now..... time to think of what? Who'd you'd jump into bed with when you got home?"

	"Sorry what?" Confusion was etched in his face.

	"You see this one here?" Chrissie said coldly, gesturing to Sharon again. "This is the first proper sleep she's had since you left, wasting what precious little energy she's got worrying about you."

	"Yeah well," he started, looking to his feet and shifting his weight uncomfortably, "I'm back now."

	Carefully guiding Sharon's head from her lap, Chrissie got up, her beautifully glossy lips twisting into a sneer. "For all the good it's gonna do us Dennis. You're just like your father, you know that? And that's not a compliment!"

	Following her into the kitchen, where she was not bashing about with mugs and things only because Sharon was finally sleeping (otherwise she would have happily smashed one over the selfish bastard's head) Dennis was very brave to ask:

	"Chrissie, what exactly am I supposed to have done?"

	"Typical man that is Dennis. Where would you like me to start babe?" She counted off the faults on her fingers. "One, you upped and left without a word of explanation. Two, your precious girlfriend, that is the newest one, has been going out and getting absolutely bladdered with her tart of a mother every night since you left. There's only so many times you can clear vomit off the stairs without getting a bit sick of it!"

	Dennis stupidly laughed at the pun. Chrissie turned right round and slapped him hard across the cheek. "Don't you dare laugh at me. This isn't funny. This isn't some cool club now sweetheart. There ain't no women that are impressed with you. Only ones that think you're the most selfish little idiot to ever walk the face of the earth."

	Still nursing his smarting cheek, Dennis pulled a chair away from the table and sat down, laughing nervously. "So what's number three?"

	"Number three? I've been the one telling your girlfriend that "yes of course you love her" and "of course you'll be home soon" when really I haven't got a bloody clue one way or another, cheers Dennis!"

	"What makes you think I don't love Zoe?"

	"You don't love anyone. No-one but yourself."

	"Chrissie, what's wrong with you?"

	"Me darlin'? Nothing, nothing at all, but I'd say there's a few things you best sort out with Sharon."

	Dennis leant back then, nodding knowingly, folding his arms across his chest. "I know what this is, she's told you what happened with us."

	"Correction," she told him, stabbing her forefinger accusingly in his chest "she told me what happened with you. Where'd you get off on doing that to her?"

	"I never meant to hurt her."

	"Oh that makes it alright then does it?"

	"No-"

	"Well I'm glad we sorted that one out. You make me sick, you know that? All that girl has ever done is love you and this is how you repay her?"

	"I loved her too."

	"Yeah right. As soon as you knew what it was like for her to not say no, that was it wasn't it? You didn't wanna know. Cheers Sharon, great shag love."

	"It wasn't like that."

	"Oh no, tell me then Dennis, what was it like? Because I'm all ears!"

	"Fine!" Dennis growled. "You wanna know who's fault it is I-"

	"Dropped her like a hot potato?"

	"Den's." he hissed venemously, pressing two fingers to his temples. "He messed with my head, made out like Sharon and me... like we were wrong."

	"Well, he was going to see it like that wasn't he? You're his kids, both of you."

	Dennis sat back down, pounding his sweaty palms into his temples. "He's the reason we stopped."

	"Stopped what Dennis?" Chrissie pushed. "Stop screwing? Stop trying? Stopped what?"

	"Stopped loving each other."

	Chrissie softened a bit then, sat down opoosite him and took his reluctant hand. "You might not be able to see it Dennis, but I can. I don't disapprove and it doesn't matter how you try and hide it from Sharon, or Den, or Vicki, I know you still care for her."

	"Caring doesn't mean I love her. I'm with Zoe now."

	"Love her do you?"

	"I'm not sure. See Chrissie, this is why I needed the time."

	She pushed his hand away again. Got up, bashed about with the dirty crockery in the sink. "What the hell are you doing back here if you still don't know who you want? Sharon doesn't need this. She needs stability, she needs to know where she stands."

	"What about me? What about what I need Chrissie?"

	"You, sunshine, need a good smack. See if that won't knock some bloody sense into you."

	"Chrissie, what's all the shouting for? Has Zoe burnt out the toaster again?"

	Chrissie automatically stepped in front of Dennis, smiling brightly as Sharon trudged in. 

	"Nothing darlin', did you sleep well?"

	"Not really. Thanks for that talk earlier though. It really helped."

	"Good. That's really good babe."

	But Sharon wasn't blind. She was just a little shocked, that was all.

	"Dennis. You're home."

	"Hi Sharon."

	Chrissie looked awkwardly between the two stood in front of her. She didn't want to leave them alone, scared of what Dennis' clever words might do to Sharon. She was strong, and the possibility that she was over him and his dirty love was strong too. But Chrissie could see in Sharon's eyes that she'd yet to forgive Dennis for all the things he had put her through. Chrissie didn't blame her in the slightest.

	But then the phone started to ring. Why is that the phone always rings at the most inopurtune time? She looked awkwardly to Sharon who just smiled and urged her to answer the call.

	"Go on Chrissie. I'll be fine really."

	"What do you think I'm going to do to her Chrissie?"

	She gave Dennis a dark look, barely taking her eyes off him as she hurried out into the hall, her dark curls bouncing on her shoulders. "I'll be just out here Sharon OK?" she said as she lifted the receiver. "Hello? Vicks? Oh babe, what's wrong, what's happened? Take deep breaths.... I know darlin' but... I can't hear you... It'll be alright really. I know it hurts now, but you were so much better than him darlin'. Maybe you'll meet someone just as wonderful round here...."

	Both Sharon and Dennis listened for a few moments, and then Dennis moved to shut the door, gently clicking it shut and leaning against as he stared at his ex lover.

	"Why has it come to this Sharon?"

	"Because you made it Dennis. Where the bloody hell have you been?"

	"You care then?"

	She pursed her lips. "Not as much as Zoe has."

	"What's that supposed to mean?"

	"Oi Zoe watch it!" Chrissie cried, the door slamming shut a few seconds later. There was lots of high pitched giggling that followed and it didn't sound at all natural. Sharon knew that could mean only one thing, and it was shaped suspiciously like ten night's worth of vodka bottles, but she wasn't feeling particularly charitable tonight and she thought she'd let Dennis find that out for himself.

	"Ask her yourself." Sharon told him, opening the kitchen door right back up as soon as Dennis had moved away from it. "Because she's home."

	"Hello lover!" Zoe cried happily, laughing drunkenly. "You're home!"

	Wobbling precariously on her pins, she staggered over to him, almsot falling right over him, slamming into his chest and flinging her arms round his neck, placing a big kiss on his reluctant lips. "Mwah! Did you miss me?"

	He looked to Sharon, who promptly looked away, concentrating on smiling at Zoe. So Dennis followed suit. "Of course I did."

	"Well that's good because d'you know what?"

	"You've been drinking."

	"Just a little one with Kat in The Vic." Then she hiccoughed and giggled it off. "I was lonely without you y'see."

	"Course you were."

	"You alright Dennis?"

	"Zoe, I'm fine. I've only just got home and I need a shower that's all."
	
	"Do you feel dirty then Dennis?" she slurred. 

	He was a bit perplexed and barely managed a laugh. He noticed that Sharon still stood behind the door she held open, looking at the young girl piteously.

	Zoe then began to laugh rapturously, and she couldn't really stand up, staggering and stomping about in her hefty heeled shoes. "He is quite dirty isn't he Sharon?" she said, swinging her mane across her shoulders. "Like this one thing we do when he puts his-"

	"Zoe!" Dennis barked, grabbing her by the shoulders. Snaking her arms arms his neck again, she ground herself against him almost as if he were a lap-dancing pole. "Shall we show Sharon now Dennis?" she said, pretending to whisper. "She might not know how to do it."

	"I'll be fine thanks Zoe. Let me make you a coffee."

	"I don't want a coffee!" she snapped.

	"Careful babe, she's only trying to help."

	"I don't need help. I'm fine. Ooooh, Sharon, did you and Dennis used to do the one... in the kitchen..."

	"Here?" Sharon questioned, looking quite interestedly towards Dennis, his crimson cheeks.

	"On the table." Zoe confirmed with a smirk. "That was fun wasn't it Dennis?"

	He said nothing. Sharon almost managed to laugh. He looked so pathetic right now, embarrassed of his lover and not wanting to be here anymore than Sharon wanted him here.

	"Where else then Zoe?"

	Zoe let out a little gasp, giggling behind her hand. "Everywhere Sharon. We never minded where. God he's big isn't he?"
	
	"Zo!"

	"No no!" she exclaimed, clumsily caressing his face and managing to wander into a chair. "Ow!" Then she giggled, pressing a shivering finger to his lips. "It's OK. I'm promoting your best features darlin'. Hey Sharon, me and you... we could compare notes..."

	"We could." Sharon told her, quite entertained and irritated at the same time at having to have her experiences tarnished by the word of some stupid little girl. She looked to Dennis for a second, and he gave her a weak smile, trying to reach out and restrain Zoe and her ramblings. "We never did it on the kitchen table though did we Dennis? Maybe it's one we should have tried. I obviously wasn't adventurous enough for him."

	"Sharon-"

	"Dennis..." Zoe simpered childishly.

	"What?" he blasted, quite angered now at having his girlfriend act like such a drunken slapper.

	"Do you love me?"

	"Zoe, you're drunk." Dennis rolled his eyes, embarrassed. He wasn't in the mood for this.

	"Don't mean you can't love me babe. So go on, say you love me."

	"Saying it wouldn't mean I meant it. I'm not going to lie to you just because you decide it's what you want to hear." he told her gruffly, not able to bring himself to look at her.

	Tears were forming in her eyes, mascara trickling down her cheeks. "That's horrible. Why would you want to be so horrible Dennis? I've done nothing but worry about you since you buggared off!"

	"Don't waste your energy Zoe." Sharon advised. "You can't ever worry enough for Dennis. Or care. Or love him. It's never enough."

	Dennis could sense Sharon staring at him as she said these words, and he kept a tighter hold on Zoe, looking shamedly to the floor. 

	"What are you trying to say?" the youngster hissed, narrowing her eyes at her rival.

	"I've been there. Wish I hadn't bothered most nights. You will too."

	She stepped out from behind the door then, went into the hallway and headed into the lounge. Zoe had turned, her anger directed at Sharon, back to Dennis, pulling on his collar. "Evil cow. Who does she think she is?"

	"Zoe! Don't worry about it please! This has been hard for everyone other these past few days so leave her alone."

	"No! No, I won't!" she cried defiantly. "Oi Sharon!"

	"Yes?"

	"What the fuck did you think you was up to in there?" she yelled.

	"Doing you a favour by all accounts." Sharon sighed unconcernedly, throwing a couple of Vicki's forgotten fashion magazines onto the coffee table..

	"I don't need any favours off you."

	"No," came the reply, Sharon struggling to keep the irritation from her voice. "Nicking my bloke's all the favours you'll ever need eh Zo?"

	She was young, and Chrissie was right. It made Zoe foolish as a result, but she was in love. The anger flaring in her eyes confirmed it as she looked contemptously at the older woman once considered her love rival. Her pretty plum mouth twisted unpleasantly, her lip curling. "You're jealous aren't you Sharon?"

	But Sharon was not easily beaten, laughed merrily as she tossed her hair back. "Don't flatter yourself! You couldn't make me jealous of you and Dennis if you paid me."

	"Yeah? Then what was all that for?"

	"All what? I was just offering you the benefit of my experience that's all."

	"Piss off Sharon. Don't you think me and Dennis have had-" she licked her lips suggestively. "-enough experiences of our own?"

	"Don't you ever think you're better than me Zoe. Because you're not. Look at you. You're a mess. A sad, drunken, pathetic mess. You ought to be careful, or you'll turn out just like Kat."

	"You bitch!" Zoe sneered, slapping Sharon across the face. 

	But she recovered immediately, giving her a defiant look. Dennis hurried in. He'd been in the hall for a few minutes trying to explain the harsh words and raised voives away to his stepmother when really he didn't have a clue what was going on, and it brought him out in a cold sweat just contemplating it. He entered the room just in time to watch Zoe bash Sharon's face with the flat of her hand. He knew he should have said something, but he was too shocked.

	Sharon sucked in a deep breath then, and lamped her straight back. Zoe winced outwardly and held her cheek. "What's up Zoe? Scared that I can dish out exactly what I get?"

	Zoe turned pathetically to Dennis, smirking a little as she registered his presence. "Babe, she's insane I swear it. I didn't do anything and suddenly she comes at me."

	"Zoe, I saw you."

	"Saw me what?"

	"Hit Sharon."

	"Dennis, if you take her side, I swear I'll-"

	"You'll what? Because you're welcome to the lying two faced scumbag. I don't care what either of you think anymore. Two things though Zoe, yeah? One, you won't ever win. Not with me. And two-" Sharon looked coldly at Dennis as she spoke, happy to see that she was unnerving him. "When he finally tells you he loves you, don't believe a word of it. Because as soon as it's said, he'll be off. he'll be with some other little girl. Just remember that when he breaks your heart."

	And Zoe was struck dumb, looking awkwardly around her, hardly daring to make eye contact with Dennis as she swallowed a sob. But she was just as d0efiant as the woman to have shoved roughly past her. She ignored Dennis' pleas to leave the past be and followed her still, stomping through the house. Back to the kitchen in fact where she angrily and forcefully slammed the door shut after her, causing the clock on the wall to quake on its bracket a little thanks to the impact.

	"You really are a sad bitter twisted old cow aren't you? When are you going to learn that he doesn't want you?"

	"He never did Zoe." Sharon told her steadily, spooning coffee granules into a mug. "He's a user."

	"Maybe that's how you see it, but that's not how he is with me."

	"You seem quite sure about that sweetheart. You think that life with him is great. That he's the perfect bloke, that suddenly you love him and he loves you-"

	"It's not sudden!" she hissed vehemently.

	"Don't I know it! What you got to remember girl is that life is not out of a picture book. Dennis isn't the bloke to make your dreams of marriage and babies come true. What he wants is what he's good for. Sex."

	Zoe whirled round to face Dennis. "Is this true babe? Or is she just jealous? Tell me she's just jealous Dennis, because I don't know what I'll do otherwise."

	"Go out and get plastered with Kat again maybe?" Sharon offered bitterly under her breath. Lifting her long lacquered lashes, she stared hard at Dennis. 

	He squirmed on the spot, way too aware that both women's eyes seared into his form. "She's jealous."

	Sharon nearly choked on her laughter. "Excuse me? You chose to be with her, you know it, I know it, and that smug little cow knows it. You decide we need to move on, so I do. I did what you told me like good old dependable Sharon, and then- you'll like this bit Zoe - you whack my fella and send him packing because you can't handle the fact  I don't need you anymore."

	"James?" Zoe managed, giving Dennis a desolate look. "You did that to James? Why Dennis, why would you need to do that?"

	"He was in my face." Dennis muttered darkly, as if she would be foolish to ask for any other explanation.

	"You mean he was in my bed." Sharon scoffed. "Couldn't handle that could you? Oh sorry, ain't the right thing to say when the girlfriend's in the room is it?"

	"Just remember who that is Sharon, alright?"

	"Don't worry Zoe. I'm bloody well grateful I'm not you. Because you're stupid. A stupid infatuated little girl who's too desperate for someone to sleep next to every night to even bother realising what a pathetic prick her supposed boyfriend is."

	"You can't hate me this much Sharon." Dennis mutters, looking at her with his big sad eyes.

	"I don't hate you. I'm better than that. I pity you because she's no compensation. Not for what we had. And you know it."

	Zoe took to laughing once again as she poured herself a gin from the side. "For what you had? What, a quick snog in the Vic, and suddenly you're Walford's answer to Romeo & Juliet? Nobody wanted to know you Sharon. Either of you."

	"But you were perfectly happy to buy second hand goods weren't you? You haven't got a relationship. You were an easy lay, that's all."

	Anger dominating her face as she whirled round, Zoe hurled her glass straight at Sharon, yelling: "Fuck you!"

	"Zoe! What the fuck was that for?" Dennis boomed, steadying Sharon as she lost her balance to avoid the object.

	"Get off." Sharon said immediately, brushing herself down.

	"Are you OK?"

	"Dennis!" Zoe shrieked, but she shrank back from his angry look.

	"Shut up Zo. You could have had her fucking eye out."

	"That was the idea." she muttered venemously under her breath.

	"Grow up little girl." Sharon told her calmly. "Don't forget whose house this is."

	"If only I bloody could."

	"Zoe." Dennis said, seemingly after a couple of minutes thought. "Just leave us OK?"

	"What? You an' her? You must be joking mate, I ain't leaving the two of you alone, not for one second."

	"Shame. I was looking forward to finding out what the kitchen table was like."

	"See?" Zoe cried, flinging her arm accusingly in Sharon's direction. "That's why!"

	"I need to talk to her OK? That's all. I come find you in a bit."

	As much as she hated it, sticking out her bottom lip most unattractively, she swung round and stomped out towards the front door, slamming it as hard as she could, just to make sure that her disapproval of the situation was felt throughout. She'd go and see Kat, have a few more drinks. She'd feel more ready for this then...

	Sharon watched as Zoe stormed out. She turned her gaze a little way towards Dennis. "You could do so much better than her."

	"Glad to see you approve." he muttered sarcastically. 

	Sharon just gave him a weak smile in return and sat down at the table, picking at some loose threads on her blouse as she spoke. "So.... the kitchen table eh?" She looked up at him, but he couldn't meet her eye. She managed to chuckle. "She wasn't joking then?"

	"No."

	"God, you get around a bit don't you?"

	"How'd you mean?"

	"Well, you've slept with Kat too haven't you?"

	"What does that matter?"

	"Mother and daughter Dennis. That must be some achievement, even for you. So does it mean you'll be after Chrissie soon? After all, she is our step-mother."

	"What's happened to you Sharon, what's made you so angry?"

	"Do you even need to ask the question?"

	"Apparently not." Then his hardened expression softened, the corners of his eyes crinkling in sadness. "Sharon, would it be totally the wrong thing to say that I'm sorry."

	"Comes too easily for you. So I suppose it depends what you're saying sorry for."

	"I don't know."

	"Yes you do." she told him angrily. "You're just too scared.... too proud to admit that you screwed us up, that you made totally the wrong choice."

	"Zoe?" he questioned, his eyes almost snapping open, seemingly very interested in her opinion right now.

	"Yes Zoe. She's selfish, she's immature, and she knows nothing about you. She doesn't have a clue what it's really like to love you."

	"She's not you." he agreed gently.
	
Dennis stepped forward. Sharon continued to examine his beautiful face. She knew what it was she saw in his eyes. So she moved hastily away.

	"No!" she cried, turning away from him and throwing the first piece of crockery she could lift from the sink onto the floor in anger. "Don't you dare do this to me Dennis! I won't let you."

	"I'm not doing anything."

	"You're using me! Messing with my head. What is it darlin'? Not screwed anyone since you've been away? Is that what you're waiting for? Because you've just shoved your sex toy out the door. I ain't no sub you can bring in just coz you feel like it."

	"Is that what you think I feel about you?" Dennis asked.

	"I don't know what you think you feel OK? I don't know, and I don't care."

	"You mean you wouldn't believe me."

	"What's there to believe in what you've ever said to me Dennis?"

	"I've never lied to you Sharon." he announced passionately.

	She was humoured at that, scoffed. "You say it almost as if it's true. Granted, you've probably told Zoe more stupid lies because it makes you look better, more appealing, but let me tell you, telling me that we'll always be together and then dumping me like we never mattered is not what it's like to never be lied to."

	"I'm sorry."

	"You're not sorry. You never have been. If you had you wouldn't be doing this. She wouldn't be here, and I wouldn't feel as if you're backing me into a corner. If you think Zoe's what you want, then just let me get on with my life."

	And he stared at her, his eyes wide with imploring her, but she averted her gaze, refused to see.

	"Sharon... call me selfish, but you know I can't do that. I can't give you up."

	Sharon laughed sarcastically again. "Dennis, you gave me up a long time ago sweetheart, and I wouldn't go back, not for all the tea in China!"

	"Really?"

	"Yes, really!"

	Dennis moved past the table and hauled himself up onto the counter top next to where Sharon, weakened by the force of her fury, was steadying herself against the sink. He looked at her in a bemused kind of way, taking his packet of fags from his pocket and sparking up. Not for a second did his his gaze falter from Sharon.

	"So," he said, after a long drag, "why exactly are we are fighting?"

	"We're not." Sharon bristled.

	"Well, you seem pretty certain that we're over, and you're certainly not jealous- so what is it?"

	"There isn't anything."

	"You're lying."

	"And you're not listening. What do you want me to do Dennis? Fall helplessly at your feet? I know how your mind works and I'm smarter than that."

	"The smartest woman I know." Dennis agreed.

	"I'm the only smart woman you know, besides Chrissie maybe. Maybe I'm just the only one you shagged more than twice."

	"Don't say it like that."

	"Why not?" she asked, prising Dennis' cigarette from between his fingers and inhaling it deeply. "It's the truth isn't it?"

	"Sharon," he chuckled, ignoring her last comment, "what are you doing - you don't smoke."

	"Yeah, well, let's just say that having to be the only one here with you is driving me to it."

	He smiled, and hunched his shoulders in anticipation of what was to come. He was a little scared, but at the same time, excited, like a little kid at Christmas. "So..."

	"So?"

	"Talk." he prompted her softly. 

	She stared at him in bewilderment, but when she saw him looking so expectantly at her, she just laughed and took another toke on the cigarette. "Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir."

	"Come on Sharon, there must be some things you wanna say to me?"

	Sharon stubbed out the cigarette in the sink, and stepped back. "Yeah Dennis, plenty of things babe."

	"OK, I'm listening."

	"Well, first off, it's probably best if I say, er..." She took in a gulp of air and composed herself. "You, Dennis Rickman, are the biggest, most incomprehensible shit I have ever had the misfortune to meet."

	"Ouch, say it like you mean it why don't you?"

	"Dennis, I'm being deadly serious."

	"I know."

	"So why are you laughing?"

	"Because I'd forgotten how cute you look when you're pissed off."

	Sharon narrowed her eyes contemptously. "Cute?" she spat.

	"Yeah Sharon. Really cute."

Sharon laughed dryly, in a way that said she wasn't finding things very funny. She opened the fridge, in search of a much needed bottle of wine. She had to lean far in to retrieve a bottle from near the back, and unbeknown to her, Dennis was very much enjoying the perfect view of her backside, a smile spreading across his face. He'd had to dispose of it pretty sharpish as she straightened up and turned briefly around, trying to push the cork out of the bottle with little success.

	Dennis pushed himself off the counter and strode over to her, curling his hands around the smooth bottle neck.

	"Do that for you shall I?"

	Sharon gasped and looked up at him in alarm as, with little strength to protest otherwise, she let him slide the bottle from her grasp. It reminded her so much of the events leading up to their first night together, and Sharon hated it. She spun away from him, running her hand across her face trying to regain control.

	"Not lost your charm then Dennis?"

	"I don't know Sharon, you tell me." he told her, reaching over Sharon (she shrank away merely at his nearness) and placing the wine bottle on the countertop next to her. "It's OK Sharon, what d'you think I'm going to do?"

	"That's just it Dennis, I don't know. I don't know how you can come back here after so long, and just, pretend everything's normal, when it isn't, when it can't be-"

	"Why not?" he inquired, hooking his thumbs lazily into his belt loops.

	"Don't make me laugh, you know why not."

	"Maybe I do. But just tell me Sharon, exactly what is normal in this house?" He leant a bit closer, and dropped his voice to barely more than a husky whsiper. "Us talking like this Sharon, is this normal? You hardly daring to come near just in case we touch? Us not touching Sharon, is that what normal is?"

	"Stop it - please Dennis, just leave me alone."

	"I don't want to."

	So Sharon shoved him away. "I said leave me alone!"

	"Hey hey, what's going on guys?" Chrissie cried, sticking her head round the door to investigate the cause of the commotion.

	"Chr-"

	"Nothing Chrissie!" Dennis said brightly. She gave him an odd look, and looked to Sharon. Sharon just nodded. Chrissie returned it, although she didn't look convinced, and she stepped out of the room.

	As soon as the door clicked shut, Sharon whirled round to Dennis and slapped him across the face. He reeled back, holding his cheek. "What the fuck was that for?"

	"Realise this right now Dennis or walk! You're not a 16 year-old wideboy anymore, and I'm not some swooning stupid little girl who's going to fall in into your bed soon as look at you!"

	"No, been there, done that haven't we Sharon." Dennis muttered bitterly under his breath.

	"Dennis, what's happened to you?" 

	"You know the answer to that."

	"No, c'mon, surprise me."

	"You. You happened to me Sharon, and you keep happening. I can't stop wondering about you.... all the time I was away, I wondered what I'd be coming home to, how you'd feel-"

	"Don't you dare pull that one Dennis; this isn't about me, it stopped being about me a long time ago."

	Dennis' small shake of the head seemed more like an involuntary twitch of the neck. "Always been about you Sharon. And I know that's the wrong thing to say, what with everything that's going on.... but it's like I can't shake you off. And I don't want to. I realised - I've missed you."

	Sharon looked at him for a while, and let out some sort of strangled cry before stumbling back and reaching for the door. Dennis moved forward, bumping into one of the chairs around the table as he lurched for Sharon's arm. She looked at his hand, with her sad eyes, as if he had just inserted a lethal dose of poison in her veins.

	"D-Dennis, I haven't gone anywhere. I've been here, it's you who left-"

	"I don't mean that. Sharon, I've missed us."

	"What do you mean us?"

	"What do you think I mean? It could happen again couldn't it; just you and me?"

Sharon roughly jerked her arm away. "You're drunk."

	"No I'm not." Dennis licked his lips nervously. "Sharon, I'm sorry, but whatever this thing is.... what I'm feeling, it's never gone away. And I don't think it ever will."

	"And what exactly are you feeling Dennis? Only let it be original this time eh sweetheart?"
	
	"I can't. Sharon, I'm still in love with you."

	"Liar."

	Dennis looked crestfallen. "What? You think I'm lying-"

	"I know so." Sharon told him certainly. "After all, your girlfriend's still within a mile radius - Dennis, you screwed her in this very room! On this table!" She kicked the table in frustration.

	Dennis rushed forward and gripped Sharon by the shoulders. "Sharon, Sharon, calm down, it's OK!"

	"No it's not - how can this be OK? Why do you think this is clever, messing with my head like this?"

	"That's not what I'm trying to do. Call me stupid, but I'm hoping you'll tell me-"

	"What? That I feel the same? You know what Dennis, you are stupid."

	"Thought you might say that." he answered, going back and sitting again upon the countertop, pushing his legs into the sink silently smoking another fag. The moody silence made Sharon feel really uncomfortable with herself.

	She pulled up a chair and hauled herself onto it, wobbling precariously as she lowered herself down on the counter on the other side of the sink. She smiled wryly across at him and he leant back, expelling clouds from his mouth as he tilted his head lazily back against the wall. Still, he watched her.

	"You ought to be careful, if you get mud on these surfaces Chrissie will have your guts for garters-" Dennis remained oblivious to that comment, and he continued to gaze at her, his eyes misting over as if he was no longer fully there. It made Sharon nervous. "I could have said it a while ago y'know Dennis." Sharon told him calmly.

	"Why can't you now?"

	"Because it's dead."

	"I don't believe you."

	"That's because you don't want to. But when I look at you, I don't feel anything, not anymore."

	"Is it because of what I've done - with Zoe, and James, going away; oh, I've really fucked this all up haven't I?"

	"Yeah, I suppose you have, but it doesn't matter anymore."

	Dennis narrowed his eyes at her, motivated by suffocating sadness. "How can you say that? I know you loved me Sharon."

	"I did. Once. But whatever the reason for that was doesn't exist anymore."

	"But I love you; so it does. It's still here."

	"Tell that to Zoe and all do you?"

	"Of course I don't."

	"So what's she doing here? What's she doing in our home Dennis? Why does she sleep in your bed?"

	And Dennis averted his gaze, biting down nervously on his knuckle, unable to answer Sharon without his face becoming evidently awash with guilt.

	"Everything that happened with us Sharon, all that stuff with Den.... th-the day I hit you- I didn't want to remember those days as the days where we were together. It tainted everything, everything I knew we had together and it wasn't the way I wanted it to be, for either of us. So when we spilt up.... we had to move on didn't we? Otherwise it would have just ripped us apart. And Zoe.... she was there, she was my chance to forget all the bad stuff-"

	"She's a little girl Dennis. What were you thinking? She's in love with you for Christ sake!"

	"I know, and now it couldn't be even more wrong if I tried. I don't want her Sharon, and if you'd just say the word, she'd be out - like that." Dennis snapped his fingers but Sharon just scoffed.

	"Darlin', I thought you were wiser than this. It's not that simple."

	"I don't really care what's simple and what isn't Sharon. I realised that all I want is to be with you again, and this time, I won't let go - not without a fight."

	"A fight's the reason we're not still together remember? The reason you're still shagging a girl barely out of school uniform!"

	"Sharon, please just stop attacking me, and admit that, if you had the chance, if we had the chance then we would be together."

	"And if I admit it, what's happens then Dennis? Is it my turn for the kitchen table?"

	Dennis could see through her defiance. It reminded him so much of their first night together. He knew what she was trying desperately hard not to say, and he was frustrated to see that she would rather keep up a flimsy defence than admit her true feelings and have to place her trust in him again.

	So he got down again, and wrenched open the kitchen door, stomping out of the house.

	"Just forget it."

	But how could she? How could she just forget that the man she loved was foolish enough to admit it all over again. She was nervous, and scared to realise that she still felt the same, however much she pretended not to, or wish she didn't. The bottom line was, she did. And nothing, and no-one could change that. She leant back against the wall, banging her head with a rhythmical thud. She listened as the front door slammed shut behind Dennis, with such a force that the clock on the wall began to quake again.

	 "Sharon?" Chrissie murmured, coming again to put her head cautiously around the door. "Babe, what's going on.... only Dennis had a face like thunder and-"

	"I've done it Chrissie. I've shoved him away again. It's what he deserved, Christ it is, but I don't think he'll come back this time...."

	"That's good isn't it?" she questioned, handing Sharon a tissue from a drawer, and not looking like she believed her own words at all.

	"If he hadn't come back at all... if I hadn't spoken to him... if he just decided he was never coming back... I could have coped. But the things he said to me Chrissie-"

	"Tell me babe, what did he say?"

	Sharon laughed in spite of herself. "He reckons he's still got a thing for me."

	"As bad as that eh?"

	"Chrissie, I mean it. It couldn't be any worse."

	"Well, I don't see how. From what you told me earlier, you couldn't give two- oh Sharon, you're joking right?"

	"I don't know." Sharon cried, trying hard not to let the tears slide down her cheeks. "I've been trying so hard to make myself hate him, but- Chrissie, I think I've lost him."

	"I thought you already had Sharon, c'mon, don't let him do this to you-"

	"But he's back - and he's going back to her... I couldn't bear that."

	"Are you sure?"

	Sharon nodded.

	"Then tell him that." Chrissie advised firmly, squeezing Sharon's hand. "This won't get any easier for anyone unless the pair of you talk. Go and find him - now."

	Smiling gratefully through her tears, Sharon clambered awkwardly down off the counter, wiping her eyes and rushed out the door. Fearing that she had already missed out on her chance to keep him from Zoe, Sharon started rushing down Bridge Street. But then she stopped, hardly daring to take in breath. Because there he was. Dennis. Stood in the middle of the road like some apparition. He'd seen her immediately, giving her just a weak smile of recognition, still holding his bag slung over his shoulder.

	"W-Where are you going?"

	"Does it matter?"

	"Where Dennis?"

	"Away. Anywhere. Anywhere that isn't here. Anywhere you aren't."

	"But-"

	"You've made it pretty clear how you feel Sharon, I respect you for that, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. So I'm going; out of sight, out of mind, that's what they say isn't it?"

	"What about Zoe?"

Dennis shrugged. He didn't care. "What about her? I came back for you Sharon... if I'd known how you felt, I wouldn't have bothered. Just pretend... pretend I never came back. There was no way in hell I was going back to her. So just pretend this never happened"

	Sharon stood there, nodding slowly as she took it all in. Nibbling on her lip, she told him shakily: "I hate you for this Dennis."

	"I know you do. And I don't blame you. But it had to happen; I had to know."

Slowly, Sharon came towards him. "Well, maybe there's a few things you should know as well eh? W-When Tom died, I didn't want to ever let another man close. Then we found you, and I was so scared. Of myself, because I wanted you in a way I shouldn't... and when you said that it was the same for you.... when Dad came back, it just got harder. I saw him in you - and I know that's not what you wanna hear, but I just.... I knew it was wrong."

	"It didn't stop us though did it? However hard it was, we were together, and we were happy-"

	"Not for long though eh? Something better came along, and that was it."

	"That's not fair Sharon; have you not listened to me?"

	"All I've ever done is listen Dennis. You ripped me in half, and it feels like it's only now that you're realising it, but that doesn't matter. It's easy enough for you... you're just going to get up and leave."

	"Well, what's the alternative Sharon?" Dennis bent down and placed his bag on the kerb. "What is it?"

	"I don't know. But all the time I was caught between Phil & Grant, all I did was run. It ain't the way."

	"Well, there's only so many things you can do to keep me here."

	"I know." she replied meekly. "But I can't. I'm sorry, but I can't."

	"You mean you won't."

	"Can you blame me? Dennis, it took a lot to learn to love someone after Tom, especially...."

	"Especially me? The difficult one no-one would dare to look at twice?"

	"Stop it. I can't do it Dennis, and that's it. Go if you want. This is your doing anyway."

	"Very mature that is Sharon."

She shot him an ugly look. "Do you know why I'm here Dennis? I thought I should try and tell how I feel, but now I'm here, and I'm realising, there's nothing to tell. You treated the only woman stupid enough to love you like utter shit and you murdered whatever she felt for you."

	"OK. Time for me to go then I guess?" And he reached to pick up the bag, but Sharon stepped forward instinctively, placing a hand on her arm to try and stop him.

	"That ain't it surely?"

	"Isn't it? This is what you want right? I'm a bastard, I fucked up the only good thing in my life - you said it yourself... 'I murdered whatever she felt for me.' If she doesn't want me, I don't need to be here."

	"What? End of?"

	"Well, I don't know what else to do. Actually no, that's a lie, I do know, but you'd be right not to let me."

	"Let you what?"

	"Ruin you again. After all, that's all telling you I love you has ever done isn't it? It's best if I just try and force it out again, somewhere you aren't; somewhere you won't see."

	"You make me sound like a drug addiction."

	"Well, that's because that's exactly what you are Sharon. You're my addiction. And I don't think the withdrawl's gonna be too easy."

And they both stood there for a while, Sharon with her hand curled around Dennis' forearm, he making no attempt to move away from her. Not yet. They were silent as each held the gaze of the other, the look in their eyes saying how much this hurt.

	"So... this it then?"

Sharon smiled weakly at him. "We had that conversation Dennis."

	"Yeah I know. Repeating don't seem to make anymore real either."

	"Do you ever wish we'd never met?"

	"Never." he sniffed, fighting off the tears. "I've got a lot to thank you for."

She laughed bitterly. "Like what? Being the best shag you've ever had?"

	"Well there's that obviously. But you taught me what it's like to be me. No-one's ever bothered to do that before. Mum, Den, Dalton; they all just pulled me in their direction and it was a shit life. Right up until the day you and Vicki found me. So thanks." Biting down on his lip, Dennis edged forward and let his lips tentatively brush Sharon's cheek. Feeling the tears threatening, Dennis straightened up quickly, wiping his eyes and forcing a smile before he turned away and carried on walking.

	"Dennis! Dennis, stop! This isn't it." Sharon cried out to him, racing after him.

He spun on his heel and paced backwards, determined to keep a distance from her. "Sharon, please. Give it up. You're right you know, I-I screwed this up, and you deserve better.... so just... go home..."

	"No," she shook her head fevrently. "I haven't said it all yet."

And so Dennis slowed down, curious and somehow drawn to whatever it was Sharon could have to say next, until eventually he stopped; as Sharon did too, about a dozen paces from him.

	"I lied." she announced nervously.

	"What about?"

	"This whole fucking thing, it's all a lie. Dennis, the reason I've followed you out here, the reason I don't want you to leave; it is... because I love you. You don't deserve it, and I don't want to feel it, but it's still here. I want it to be dead, but the damn thing just won't die and.... I'm still in love with you. I think I always will be." This declaration expelled in one breath, Sharon gasped as she tried to force more air into her lungs, her shoulders sloping back with the effort. "Let's try and get ourselves out of this one shall we?"

	Dennis barely moved. The corners of his mouth twitched in bemused uncertainty, but still he could not move. "What's going on Sharon?" he quizzed.

	"I did it. I said it. The one thing I shouldn't have said-"

	"Say it again."

	"Don't push it."

Running his hand around his face, Dennis dropped his bag again, not believing it, and yet daring to smile. "God, Sharon," he muttered. "I can't get my head around you sometimes-"

	"Then don't try. Just believe me."

	"I do believe you," he assured her, wrapping his arms around her, and dropping kisses onto her head. "I just don't know... y'know... what it means. For us."

	And Sharon tensed, moving out of Dennis' embrace and shaking her head. "N-nothing. It doesn't mean anything. I won't let it."

	"Then what the hell are we stood here for?" Dennis snapped, stepping away from her too, in disgust. "What the hell are you trying to do?"

	"Be honest with you if you can imagine that." she told him hotly, tossing her hair defiantly out of her face. "I love you Dennis, and I thought you deserved to know before you carried on shagging a juvenile. But that doesn't mean.... Dennis I can't trust you. I won't trust you."

	"Why not?" he questioned irritably.

	 "Because I gave you everything I had and you threw it back in my face. You let Dad ruin us Dennis, and I thought you were stronger than that."

	"I tried to be." he told her weakly, trying desperately to fight off the tears. He would not let her see him cry. "I didn't mean to let you down Sharon, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to."

	"I know you didn't." She stroked his cheek affectionately. "The point is Dennis, I'm not ready for you again. So I tried to push it away, tried to tell myself I wasn't feeling it. I missed you like crazy when you took off, so I knew I was doing a shit job. But it was easier without you around. Then suddenly, here you are again, pushing me, trying to tell me you love me and want to be with me-"

	"And you were thinking?"

	"Honestly?"

	"Yeah, hit me with it Sharon. Can't be any worse than the fact you love me but don't want me."

	"I wanted you to piss off. To shut up, piss off and leave me alone. To not say what you were saying. I thought I was doing fine without you-"

	"Uh uh." Dennis inclined his head, resting it against Sharon's forehead. "I was there when you lamped Zoe, Sharon. You stood there and tried to turn what we had together into something evil, something you couldn't bear to think about. No matter what you feel like now Sharon, you loved every minute of it."

	"Of being in your bed you mean?"

	"I don't know darlin', you tell me. I wasn't alone after all."

She sighed outwardly, not moving away from him. "Alright Dennis, yeah I did; I loved it. I loved being with you; but that doesn't change the position we're in now. If I could, I'd be with you; I'd sit with you smoking fags over the kitchen sink as often as you wanted, but I'm not ready to trust you again."

	"I really hurt you didn't I?"

	"You know you did."

	"Well," he sighed, encasing her face with his hands, "it's a shame Sharon, it really is. I only came back here tonight to make it better for you darlin'."

	Sharon laughed, resting her hands on Dennis' forearms and squeezing reassuringly. "You did a shit job of it sweetheart."

	"Yeah."

	"I guess you'll be buggaring off now then?"

	"No."

	"So what are you going to-"

	But Dennis silenced her, no longer able to resist the urge to kiss her, to feel his mouth on hers again. And she clung to him, obviously fighting off the self same desire. As she pushed closer herself against his longing frame, he let his arms envelope her, pulling her closer still, desperately wanting to feel her against him again. God, he'd missed that feeling. Sharon caught her hand in his tousled hair; at this moment she didn't care she didn't feel she could trust Dennis. She knew she would always want him. And feeling his lips bruise hers so passionately, she felt intoxicated by him; and she loved it, still craved it. And it seemed he did too.

	Pulling back from her with little enthusiasm to leave her; Dennis started to pace slowly backwards across the Square. "Whenever it comes back to you... the trust... "

	"Yeah?"

Dennis smiled warmly, his eyes twinkling.

	"I'll be waiting darlin'."