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60 Things To Do In An Elevator
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on
or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents
of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead
and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you
just shut UP!".
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a
Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the
natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while
peering inside, ask: "Got enough air in
there?".
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the
elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner,
facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain
to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when
they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper:
"Noogie patrol coming!".
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a
warm handshake and ask them to call you admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and
demand that it stay open until you hear the penny
you dropped down the shaft go "plink"
at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a
while, then announce: "I've got new socks
on!".
18. When at least eight people have boarded, moan
from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion
sickness!".
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can stick a
quarter up your nose.
22. Frown and mutter, "Gotta go, gotta
go", then sigh and say "Oops!".
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it
looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a Little Lamb" while
continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes Away!" whenever the
elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "Human
Head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then
announce: "You're one of THEM!" and
move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, then say: "Mmmmm... tasty!".
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30.Ask each passenger getting on if you can push
the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other
passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and
ask: "Is that your beeper?".
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do"
and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a
stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk
and announce to the other passengers that this is
your "personal space".
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another
passenger: "Wanna see wa in muh mouf?".
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long
strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must
find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a
button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer
suggestively at the passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say: "I think
it's getting bigger".
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and
holler: "Bad touch!".
51. Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone's shoes.
52. Start brushing off invisible bugs from your
arms, screaming, "AAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!! Get
them off!
53. Challenge your neighbour to a
"Tic-Tac-Toe" tournament.
54. Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop,
and glare at the other passengers like they're
crazy.
55. Charge into the elevator dripping wet,
holding a towel and wearing nothing but a bath
robe. Mutter something about how husbands/wives
always come home early just when it's getting to
the good part.
56. Make chalk drawings on the walls.
57. As the elevator is going up, jump violently
up and down, screaming, "Down! I said down,
dammit!".
58. Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at
everyone who gets in.
59. Try to get a game of "Twister"
going.
60. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air
repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbour suspiciously,
give a disgusted frown, and take a step away. |
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