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Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers
1. Can't stick their heads out of
Windows '95.
2. Fetch command not available on all
platforms.
3. Hard to read the monitor with your
head cocked to one side.
4. Too difficult to "mark"
every website they visit.
5. Can't help attacking the screen when
they hear "You've Got Mail."
6. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
7. Involuntary tail wagging is dead
giveaway they're browsing
www.pethouse.com instead of working.
8. Keep bruising noses trying to catch
that MPEG frisbee.
9. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen
Saver.
10. Still trying to come up with an
"emoticon" that signifies
tail-wagging.
11. Oh, but they WILL... with the
introduction of the Microsoft Opposable
Thumb.
12. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
13. 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats,
on the other hand...
14. Barking in next cube keeps activating
YOUR voice recognition software.
15. SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
16. SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP
and AWK are out of the question!
17. Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty
difficult to manuever.
18. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup,
alt.pictures.master's.leg.
19. Butt-sniffing more direct and less
deceiving than online chat rooms.
20. TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo
TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,. (Too Damn Hard
To Type With Paws.) |
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