Imagine that the phrase "Wouldn't it be cool" was in front of each of these:

• If we all had beaks and in order to survive we had to peck for at least 18 hours a day?
  
• If the inside of our body was our soul and every once in a while when it had to take a vacation our skin would fall to a crumpled pile on the floor only being able to say the words "butter" and "wet"?
  
• If all songs had the word "litterbox" somewhere in them?
  
• If instead of bombs, we dropped human waste on our enemies?
  
• If there was no such thing as skin?
  
• If the glass wasn't clear and the walls were?
  
• If instead of hair we had grass?
  
• If there was a fish with a miniature human head?
  
• If dogs smoked cigars?
  
• If there was a bubble attached to each turd to make it float to the top?
  
• If floors had water in them like water beds?
  
• If nonliving objects like tables and chairs...and even the moon, had to poop?
  
• If ventilation shafts were placed randomly on our bodies?
  
• If a small monkey controlled the functions in our crotches so that when we yelled "I've gotta pee!" it would say "eye captain!"?
  
• If when you stuck a piece of paper in a notebook it was referred to as a papular implant?
  
• If popping the bubbles in bubble packing wrap was as critical to us as eating?
  
• If there was a class in school where we could fire automatic weapons at each other?
  
• If the genetic experiment guys would bring a turd to life?
  
• If someone's parents were so mean that as a punishment they were forced to sleep nude on their roof when it was below freezing?