The Corsham School Arts Cabaret. November, 2002.
"This Song's About Heroin"
...Just a few ways to depict some of the acts lined up for tonight's 'Arts Cabaret'. One must restrain from exercising such critical analysis however for the following two reasons...Firstly, tonight's event is aimed at raising money for Children In Need, so it's the taking part that counts. Secondly, most of tonight's permormers are children, children who are in need of encouragement at such a youthful age, not criticism.
Amongst the acts tonight were the usual suspects: the young lady whose confidence far exceeds her abilities, the young man whose immense desire to be anywhere but on stage making a spectacle of himself is evident in every move he makes, the teenage girl who is ogled by the fathers whillst she prances about attempting a Britney Spears number, that young man who is suddenly hit by the realisation that what he is about to do is not at all entertaining. Minutes from the end howvere, comes a trio of young men each bearing a guitar. A rendition of Happy Birthday in German perhaps? A witty (but child-friendly) musical interpretation of tonight's onslaught perhaps? Fuck no. This was The Bears with special guest Will Monaghan on the bass.