8th November 2001 - Waltzing Matilda

Hi all, just got back from day two in the first test.. hard yakka today. Lucky aussies…all going good, very tired with the long days, but where else would I rather be? Nowhere else please. Loving it.
Here are a few entries which, once again probably won't make any sense, but if you do work it out, laugh along with me.

18th October

Well, here I am in aussie again, sometimes wondering what I'm doing here! This is the big time now boyo, you're playing the best in the world on hopeful debut... bring it on, yeah. I was a nobody and now I'm on centre stage with a huge audience on the fringe of facing one of all international cricket's greatest challenges...conquering the aussies on their home turf... can it be done? Geez yeah! Who's the conqueror?... Be a part of something big in the record books...who's that guy? Schools, grounds, streets, avenues, grandstands, airports, even a breakfast cereal named after him...that's who...could it be you? Could it be "MEEEE"?!...Who is that guy?

I was showering off my stench after a day of carrying drink after drink with the panic of missing a call to the boundary for something to be brought out as all twelth men are, every second of the day's play...'can you get me my sun glass cleaner?', 'can you get some lip balm?', 'can you get me tweezers to clip a nail?'...well, I've forgotten the point I was going to make cos I got a sudden urge to ring Pizza Hut for a lazy night in with extra cheese meat overs...mm. "Thank you Tim, you have a good night". Isn't it smile material when you have a lovely conversation on the phone with a good buzz jumping through the cables? People should always be buzzy and open to each other...how easy is it to say 'hellloooo, you awl wight?'... but we don't say it, but how cool is it when someone does it to you? You start to get the vibes and get that cool chill...you stutter to think what, or how to replay...'ar.... hi', but usually you say it too quietly or a little too late, where another noise penetrates the air maybe sounding out your replay of 'hello'. You wonder if they heard you? You feel gutted cos that's a friend and you have the same buzz, but still halfway through the door wondering a litle shy, "is it me...who is that guy?"... You can stand up and achieve anything you want to... hark it...bring it on, but how strong are your feelings? It takes so much emotional strength to control your composure, nerves, anxiety, shakes, fear of failing, embarrassment. We are all embarrassed at times, and self awareness is more present when passing reflections, but can you be that part of history where schools, etc. are named after you, and stand and be so that "this is me, I am who I am'? That's the person who says hello first down the alleyway...sprinkles of rain, oil splashing reflections of light posts on the cobble stones, head looking downwards, because of the rain? Or the "who is that guy?" sense?

Mmm...pizza coming in 12 minutess...mmm, Adam Parore should get here soon otherwise jerry to dinner for him. I'm hungry, cool tunes pumping at the mo, ministry of sound again, chill times...I've forgotten so many thoughts halfway through tonight. If I could type as quickly as I think, Idl have a super dooper series of my own 'Baby Sitters Club'. Why I say 'Baby Sitters Club', I've got no idea...tried to come up with a noun to make you visualise a series of books with some kind of 'never really finding out' theme where people get addicted to reading...what's going to happen? Yes...what will happen? Who really knows what's going to happen? Nothing is guaranteed...anything could happen...

20th October

Well, I'm lying back in bed with the adrenaline buzzing the bod into happiness, which is common with the first bite of a perkinana...the anticipation of what the taste is like again. I'm pretty much coming straight from India where things were successful at times into my first tour game for NZ in aussie. If I keep progressing with my game plans and motivation 'what will happen?' 'what will it taste like if it goes to plan'...bad perkinanas are like roses blooming in the desert...few and far between.
Popped into Cairnsey's room on the way back from dinner. What a buzz to be around him.
Well he asked me how it was going for me (in vince world). The advice was to be myself, wanting to do better each time...achieve, but be selfish. Strong word, but depends on how you use it. Selfish in cricket doesn't mean that you and only you exist. Treat other people bad, no...it means that when it's your turn for battle, it's only you worry about. You're on the stage getting tested, know what you know in any situation. For me, composer is the key word, and do the business. If you want it, that is what drives you to success. As soon as the heart isn't in it, as goes with most things, it's not meant to be. You have to have passion and love for something if that is what you want...it's big and strong, but bring it on!

Rigga's day today, bumped into things, cut both hands at different times, ripped pants, spilling drink, so on. Is it that his bag tags are number 13? Unlucky for some...he's swapping numbers with Jeff Crowe, manager, to number two. Well, I guess he was number two in the world on the Samsung ESPN sports test batting rankings in August's NZ A tour...
The day topped off with us having 'front and back' exercise...catching balls from a hitter 15 yards away...he smacks it too well, piercing the front and back formation, rigidly bouncing towards the boundary where the drinks were set up, and who had to be there having a drink as the ball hit the rope, ballooned up and smacked, yes... Mark Richardson...right between the eyes. Glasses fly up, hands thrown in the air, a half stutter of "F*arrk!" All this at once. Spills his drink...the ball's at his feet, winds up with a Beckam free kick and boots the ball away... but thats not all...a poor local Canberra reporter lying horizontally to get close up action shots of Cairnsey. He, 20 yards away, at the last minute hears the ball bouncing louder and louder and just manages to lug the expensive camera out of firing line, but sacrifices this with a nasty little bruise smack bang in the crouch!!... We were pissing ourselves for ages...poor Rigga..." what's that mate?", "early night?" Good idea, and good luck for tomorrow number two. Good night and play straight...

7th November

What a tradition...captain's meeting the night before a test, that's tradition to me, but nothing like the tradition the New Zealand cricket team has...the black dream we visage marked by power of pride in the silver fern, the baggy cap. Eleven of them sitting on a table in the middle of the room awaiting 6.30pm to strike before the proceeding of TEST MATCH CRICKET... the naming enlightening eleven great New Zealand cricketers to stride pride over the Tasman, four to miss out, with the biggest job of all...building the team stronger, and myself? I'm carrying the water for the boys and look out...if Cairns needs to go off for the mid morning no.2's, little Vincent will be in his stomping ground around covers, sniffing like a dog for his buried bone...hunting for a run out.....rrrrrrr...whooof!!

And if that wasn't enough excitement for you, try sitting there when Jeff Crowe suddenly announces that there's a special guest here to wish us luck... aye!....AYE!! Russell Crowe...wowee, what a buzz...drove all the way up from his 700-hectare farm in Coffs Harbour, 5 hours away...to wish us luck and spur us on with the power of one achiever to another. An achiever of something Hillary did, the DNA dudes, bungy boy, and so on...the achiever. Our goal... to knock over the world champion aussies on their home soil and become a part of a history book in which we read back in half a century's time and go 'wowee, I was there, I wore the cap...look at us. we stuck our flag in the ground......'

Well, it's the night before the test and I'm sooo excited...I danced in the steamed out bathroom pretending to be a bird flying through the clouds reaching his destination...the peak!!!
Only for a sec though...c'mon!
Well, good night and good smiles...jerry.

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