Francisco was born on January 13, 1975. As soon as he went home, an Aunt of ours decided to give him the nickname of "Corky". Why??? Who knows, but it stuck with him his entire life! Francisco was quite the typical "boy" growing up. He was always getting into mischief! My brother and I were very close our whole lives. For the first 6 years of his life my brother refused to call me by my name and would only call me "sister". Francisco was very smart. In the first grade he was tested and it was determined that he had an IQ higher than most adults. I think that this intellectual gift was the root of all the boredom that he dealt with by getting into trouble.

Francisco’s troubles started when he was very young. We lived in a home with domestic violence and witnesses horrible things. Being the BIG SISTER, it was my job to protect him while our mother was trying to protect herself. This is what created a very strong bond and understanding between us that no one could ever understand. Francisco is the only person on this earth who could understand me completely and be able to relate to my life growing up. His passing has left this terrible "Missing" link in my life. He was my Soul mate. I think Francisco’s breaking point was during one of the violent episodes between my parents. My father had ripped the phone out of the wall and was choking our mother. I had to run for help. When I was gone, Francisco was forced to stab our dad in order to save our mothers life. That was the end of a horrible life for us. Our mother realized that she had to get out and she did. This was the beginning of another chapter in my brother’s struggle.

Francisco felt bad and never wanted our dad to be alone, so often he would bounce back and forth from our house to go stay with my dad. Francisco and our dad fought constantly about anything and everything. This was very difficult for Francisco because he had such a low self-esteem and my dad’s constant negative comments didn’t help at all. Francisco would try to leave but could never stay away for long because he felt bad for our dad. This was a constant pattern until his passing.

Francisco started drinking and partying at a young age but didn’t get addicted until about 1995. In 1999 Francisco tried to commit suicide. Due to Francisco’s drinking problem, no one in our family would give him money. So one day he decided to go do some work for our grandma so he could make enough money to get "enough" to kill himself. Francisco went over to a friends house and bought some heroin. Francisco had never used before and knew this would kill him. (So he thought) Apparently it wasn’t his time to go. My dad found him at his friends house unresponsive and bloated to the size of a 300 lb. Man. When the ambulance arrive they were unable to get him to respond but were finally able to revive him in the hospital Emergency Room. Francisco suffered two heart attacks, a stroke, and kidney failure all within the twelve hours of taking the Overdose. My brother has to learn everything all over. He had to learn to feed himself, and how to walk. After this incident Francisco admitted to our mother that this was a suicide attempt.

Miraculously you would never be able to tell that he had gone through such an ordeal only a few months after the incident. Well, he started drinking again. Finally after a couple of months Francisco realized that he didn’t want to live his life this was and checked into an inpatient program. Francisco stayed in this program for 6 months by his own choice and did amazingly well. He stayed clean and sober for 3 1/2 years!

On October 7, 2002, at approximately 5:00 p.m. Francisco was on his way home from work. Shortly before our driveway he was t-boned at an intersection and his car flipped six times. The vehicle that hit him came to a stop and the driver and occupants took off on foot. They still have not apprehended the boys who hit him!. Amazingly my brother was not seriously hurt. He suffered some back injuries and total loss of his car. Francisco’s back injuries prevented him from returning to work and the fact that he had no transportation didn’t help either. About two weeks after the accident, the police informed my brother that the car that hit him was not registered and was probably stolen. They told him that there was "Nothing they could do for him" This infuriated my brother and sent him into a relapse. After a week of drinking Francisco called our mother and told her that he wanted to go back into treatment because he now had a 5 week old daughter and didn’t want to live this way. He wanted to be a good daddy.

The last week of October, my brother waited with his bags packed by the door. He was waiting for a bed. Well it was taking longer than expected and he started getting really sick from the alcohol withdrawals because he was trying to wean himself. On October 30, 2002 my brother went to a treatment center by the name of Amistad. Francisco had done his treatment and stayed clean 3 ½ years through this program and when he needed them to help him they literally slammed the door in his face. At Francisco’s rosary several of his friends who were in treatment with him approached me and told me what Amistad did to him. My brother was literally on his knees, crying, begging for help and they had the nerve to close the door in his face. At this point, my brother was desperate for help because he was so sick and he went to Una Ala, another clinic who referred him to Ayudantes in Santa Fe. This referral was to give him medication to help with the alcohol withdrawals. (Librium)

On November 6, 2002, Francisco went to Ayudantes for his "Courtesy dose" of medication. This was around 11:00 a.m. AT 1:15 p.m. his girlfriend left him cleaning up the kitchen while she went to work. At 12:25 a.m. on November 7, 2002 my phone rang.

And I received the news that he was gone. We did not know what had happened to him. After two long months of waiting, we received the Autopsy report and toxicology report.

Francisco’s cause of death was " Lethal dose of Methadone" There were no other drugs in his system, not even alcohol! No signs at all of heroin use at all. Ayudantes administered methadone instead of Librium! I am currently searching for answers and will see that my brother receives the justice he deserves. If I can keep someone else’s child from dying this senseless way, my brother did not die in vain.

By: Debra Martinez
2003