WAR
Journal Entry: September
19, 2003
It started
nearly five years ago, it’ll be five years on December 16, 2003, when President
Clinton dropped two bombs on Iraq. No
one could have predicted that the war that ensued would have lasted this long,
and that so many would die. So far
casualties range in the hundred
thousand range and above. Many families
have, or fear they have, lost loved
ones to this massive killer, and at the rate we’re going many more will.
About a year
after the war started my older brother, Isaac, then turning 19, was drafted
into the war. As soon as Taylor, my
other older brother, turned 18, he registered for the arm and was
recruited. My parents fear the worst
for them and live everyday in fear they are going to hear of their deaths. Now 17, nearly 18, I fear I’m going to have
to go to war.
I don’t want
to, I find it appalling the idea of killing other people. I wish the war would just end before my 18th
birthday, of course it won’t, but I can dream, can’t I? I even dream of running away to Canada, but
I can’t, I’d be a disappointment to my family.
Even though they’re scared they’ll never see Ike and Ta again my parents
are proud they are out protecting their country. If I tried to run away they’d look down on me in shame, I know
they would, and I can’t bear that, besides I’ve always kind of idolized Tay and
Ike.
~Zac
Chapter
1: A Look in the Past
“Hey! Look Clinton’s in the news, again! Now they say they’re going to put him on
trial,” Taylor said amazed, watching the news.
“For
what?” Isaac asked, walking in from the kitchen with a plate of chocolate chip
cookies and a glass of milk.
“For
letting that Lewinsky chick suck his dick,” Taylor said, staring at the news
caster, a twenty-three year old blonde with big blue eyes, and ruby red pouty
lips.
“God,
Tay! Control yourself!” Zac commanded,
not for his choice in vocabulary, but for his utter lack in control in a
certain area. Shaking his head Taylor
looked away from the news broadcast and grabbed a few of Isaac’s cookies. Zac joined in and grabbed a half a dozen
cookies.
“Hey! Get your own!”
“Just
did, thanks Ike,” Zac said, sprawling on the recliner. “You know that’s the life,” he said,
changing the subject.
“What
is?” Taylor asked, stuffing cookies into his mouth.
“Clinton’s. It’s ideal.
Sit in an office all day, earn lots and lots of money, and get a young
intern to suck your cock a few times a week.
That’s the American dream.
Wonder if I can become president?” Zac said, thoughtfully.
“By
the time you’re old enough to run for president Monica will be like 50, and if
you want an old woman to give you a blow job that’s up to you, but I
wouldn’t. She might get too much
pleasure out of it,” Taylor said, shooting cookie crumbs across the floor.
“Actually
Zac would get too much pleasure. I mean
all those wrinkles, what a turn on!” Isaac said, whispering to Taylor loud
enough for Zac to hear.
“Oh
yeah, the leather skin on her fingers, her oh-so-sweet cigarette smelling
breath, and three yellow teeth make an unbeatable combination.”
“So,
you’ve given this thought?” Taylor said, amused.
“Oh,
of course. That’s what I want, an old,
wrinkly chick sucking on little Timmy.
I spend all my time thinking about it.
Not!”
“Oh,
he’s named it, and little Timmy none the less,” Isaac said, nudging
Taylor.
“Gee
Zac, is there a hidden meaning in that name?”
“Guys
leave me alone!” Zac whined, finishing off the last of his cookies.
“Aw
a little shrinkage is normal once in awhile,” Taylor said, covering his smile.
“I’m
leaving!” Zac announced, leaving the room and heading up the stairs. In the living room Taylor and Isaac started
laughing. In his room Zac turned on his
stereo and turned it up, louder than normal since only he, Isaac, and Taylor
were at home.
Chapter
2: War!
“Did you hear the news this morning?” Walker Hanson asked his family around the dinner table one night in early January 1999.
“No,
what is it?” Diana Hanson, his lovely and loving wife asked, dishing mashed
potatoes out on her youngest son, Mackie’s plate.
“Congress
voted, we’re going to war,” Walker said, taking a pork chop, speaking
nonchalantly.
“No,”
Diana gasped, looking up.
‘Yeah,
right now reserves are joining enlisted men in Iraq,” Walker said knowingly.
“Are
they drafting?” Isaac asked, now 18, afraid to go off to war, but not showing
it.
“Not
yet, but by March they might be,” Walker said, not quite sure what was going to
happen. Zac listened quietly to the
conversation not able to take part because he knew nothing on the subject. Diana was worried, unable to conceive of any
of her babies going off to war. Taylor
hungrily ate his pork chop, anxious to leave for his date. Isaac thought how close March was and that
in a couple months he could be drafted.
“Bye!”
Taylor yelled as he ran out the door, hopped on his bike, and raced to Tracy’s
house.
“Tay!”
she greeted in an annoyingly high-pitched voice. Taylor didn’t say anything he just shut the door behind him and
pulled Tracy’s face to his. Kissing her
passionately Taylor traced her lips with his tongue, and pulled her baby tee
off. Tracy ran her hands over Taylor’s
bottom, then pulled his jacket and t-shirt off. Running her hands around to the front she unbuttoned his black
jeans as he kissed her neck and unhooked her blue satin bra. Tossing garments aside as they were taken
off they stood naked in the middle of Tracy’s living room. Pushing her down, onto the stiff, narrow couch
Taylor got on top of her. He kissed her
lips, neck, nipples, and stomach while his skilled hands traveled her well
known body. Tracy nibbled on his ear
and kissed his neck while her hands and fingers rubbed Taylor’s warm, soft
skin.
“Wait! Do you have any condoms?” Taylor asked,
holding her hands away from him.
“Yeah,
I’ll go get some,” Tracy willingly volunteered. Taylor waited till she was out of the room before he scrambled
into his clothes. Running from the
house he left the front door open, and raced down the street to his friend
Jared’s house. Knocking on the door he
waited for someone to answer.
“Well
hello Taylor,” Mrs. Smith, Jared’s mom said with a smile. She always smiled when Taylor came over, and
she always pinched his cheeks, but not in the way or place a grandmother would.
“Hi
Mrs. Smith, is Jared home?”
“Yeah,
he’s in his room, go on up.” Taylor
smiled and moved out of her way before she could pinch him. Walking up the stairs Taylor jumped as Mrs.
Smith grabbed him. Turning he saw her
wink at him, and ran up to Jared’s room.
Jared looked up as Taylor came in the room and smiled.
“Guess
my mom let you in,” Jared said with a laugh.
“Yeah,
she’s very friend,” Taylor said, taking a seat on Jared’s bed.
“She
really likes you. All she ever asks is
‘when’s Taylor coming over?’” Jared said in a high pitched voice, imitating his
mother’s.
“What
about your dad?”
“Tay,
man, I don’t think he’s gay.”
“Jared
you know what I meant,” Taylor said exasperated.
“I
know, he doesn’t care. He’s got his
secretary to keep him busy.”
“Man,
I am so glad I have a normal family.”
“Dude
your family is anything but normal.
It’s the ‘90’s, most people are divorcing,” Jared said, turning from his
book.
“Anyway,”
Taylor said, changing the subject. “I
just came from Tracy’s.”
“Ooh! Did you get anywhere?”
“If
I wanted to I could have, but I’m never going to do that at the rate I’m
going. I think I have to love the girl
before I’ll be able to follow through.”
“Yeah
right! She probably kicked you skinny
white ass out before you were even ready,” Jared said disbelieving Taylor’s
unlikely story.
“It’s
true, Taylor defended. “We were on the
couch, not a stitch on and I told her to go get some protection. When she left the room I took my clothes and
came here.”
“No
way!” Jared yelled, sitting up. “If
that’s true you are the stupidest person I’ve ever met! She’s hot!”
“So,
maybe I just wanna wait,” Taylor said with a shrug.
“God! I’d kill to be you!” Jared said seriously.
“Sorry
pal, I’m a one of a kind. I just feel
sorry for the girls because there may not be enough of me to go around.”
“Get
over yourself Tay,” Jared said, pushing Taylor slightly.
“I
am, but they’re not..”
“Yeah,
I can see why they adore you,” Jared said sarcastically.
“Because
I have the body of a god,” Taylor said, sitting up straight.
“Yeah,
some god. All scrawny and no
muscle.” Taylor picked up a pillow and
hit Jared with it. Jared laughed and
took another pillow and hit Taylor in the head. Beating each other up with pillows they collapsed into panting
heaps on the bed. His breathing slowing
down Taylor sat up and looked at his hair in the mirror, over half of it was
out of his ponytail and it was all matted.
“Do
you have a brush?”
“Yeah,
to do what with?” Jared asked, rubbing he head, his hair no longer than a ¼”
long. “To brush my ever so long hair?”
“Oh,
yeah,” Taylor said, pulling out the hair-tie and running his fingers through
his tangled mass of hair.
“My
mom does, do you wanna use hers? I’m
sure she’d be more than happy to get it for you, she might even brush it for
you.”
“Shut
up,” Taylor said, leaving his hair hang down.
Returning from the bathroom with a condom Tracy looked at the couch and then the front door. With a sigh Tracy shut the door and began to redress. Minutes later Tracy sat on the couch watching TV and there was a knock at the door. Getting up she answered it, not expecting anyone.
“Hello,
is my little brother here?” Isaac asked, looking around from his spot on the
stoop.
“No,
he ran out of her about ten minutes ago.”
“Good,”
Isaac said, stepping into the house, shutting the door behind him.
“Look,
already prepared for you,” Tracy said, holding up the still packaged neon
yellow condom.
“Hmm,
must have known I was coming,” Isaac said with a smile.
“Yeah,
must have,” Tracy said, leading him into her bedroom. A half hour later Isaac reemerged, clothed, and left the
house. Tracy laid on her bed, still
breathing hard, and replayed the event over and over in her mind. Isaac came in behind her, nonchalantly
stripped off his clothes, she did the same, and bingo-bango he left. With a sigh she sat up and went into her
attached bathroom and showered. Later
she called her best friend and told her the news. Candie listened to her babble on and on for an hour without a
word. Finding Tracy extremely brainless
Candie wondered why she was friends with her and realized it was because she
was pretty and popular.
“I
think he loves me, I think Isaac really loves me!” Tracy squealed.
“He’s
just using you for a quick lay, that’s all,” Candie said truthfully.
“No
he’s not! You’re just jealous.”
“Yeah,
if I’m just jealous then how come h didn’t stay?” Tracy hand no response for that and hung up the phone. Candie heard the dial tone and hung up too,
finding herself glad Tracy was being used.
Isaac left Tracy’s and went straight home, took a shower, and went to
bed. In the morning he got up as
normal, ate breakfast, and called Kimberly, the girl he was dating, but not
exclusively dating.
In June of 1999, they began drafting men and women 18, and above into the war. Mr. And Mrs. Hanson were expecting two more little Hanson’s and Isaac was fearing he’d be drafted. On October 16, 1999, Isaac received a letter from the army, telling him he had to report to Fort Smith in Virginia by October 24, 1999.
“Mom,
Dad, I have something to tell you,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I got a letter today, I’ve been drafted.”
“No!”
Diana cried, burying her face in Walker’s chest.
“Well
what can I do? Go to Canada? My country needs me, and I have to go, by
the 24th.”
“Please,
don’t go,” Mackie whispered. “I’d miss
you Ike.” All the children agreed. Isaac, strong in his convictions shook hi
head. Not a coward he made his decision
and stuck with it. Diana looked up at
him her face stained with her tears.
“Please,
don’t cry Mom,” he said, trying to be brave and strong.
“I
can’t help it, it seems like only yesterday I was holding you in my arms while
you cried, and now you’re all grown up and going off to war,” she said,
sniffling.
“It
was yesterday. Remember he got a
splinter and was bawling his eyes out?” Zac said. “You’re so cute when your eyes are all red and puffy,” he teased. Eight days later Isaac was at training camp
in Virginia, and for the first time in years Hanson was no longer in existence,
the band stopped playing, with only two members they didn’t continue. Diana threw herself into teaching the other
children, baking, cooking, cleaning, sewing, helping the church, and just about
anything else so she didn’t have time to think.
“Honey,
you have to slow down, it can’t be good for the babies,” Walker said, sitting
her down one afternoon in early December.
“I
can’t. If I slow down I’ll think about
our son, my baby, and remember this was the first Thanksgiving we weren’t
together. This will be our first
Christmas apart. He turned 19, without
a party, no cake or presents. I want
him home!”
“I
know, buy you have to trust in the almighty.
There is a reason, and one day we may understand.”
“I
love you.”
“I
love you too, now take it easy.”
“I’ll
try.” On January 30, 2000, Angel Alexis
or Lexi Hanson, and Phillip Morgan or Morgan Hanson were born. Walker, Taylor, Zac, Jessie, Avery, Mackie,
and Zoë were there in the hospital when the newest Hanson members came along,
Walker video taping the experience.
“I
wish Isaac was here,” Avery whispered, looking into the nursery window at her
baby brother and sister.
“So
do I,” Zac whispered behind her.
“Is
he ever coming home?”
“One
day he’ll be home. I promise,” Zac said,
giving his little sister a hug.
“Zac
please don’t go to war,” she whispered so low he couldn’t hear her. Another year passed, Isaac over in Iraq,
fighting patriotically for the country.
Zoë turned three, Lexi and Morgan turned 1, and Taylor turned 18. He gave himself and the family a present on
that day, he signed up for the army.
Following in his older brother’s footsteps Taylor went off to war. Diana cried herself to sleep many nights,
and woke before sunrise sure this would be the day she’d hear her little boys
were hurt or dead or dying over seas in a country she had never been to.
Keeping
away from the house as much as possible Zac met a girl, Dessaray. Dessaray just turned 15, was very
intelligent, about 5’3” tall, and had brown hair halfway down her back. Her bright blue eyes sparkled whenever she
smiled and her laugh was always ready.
Hanging out with her, Zac always forgot to worry about his brothers’
well being, when and if the war would ever end, and Dessaray always made him
feel better. From the first day he met
her he knew she was special, and as they became friends he knew it was true.
Chapter
5: Love?
“What do you wanna do?” Dessaray asked, lying on her bed, watching a GAP commercial. Zac looked at her, so intent on the TV, so beautiful, smart, complex, so…everything. Moving closer to her he turned her face toward his and gently kissed her. Dessaray pulled away and looked at him questioningly.
“Will you be my girlfriend?” Zac whispered, afraid she’d know she was too good for him and say no.
“Zac are you serious?”
“Completely.”
“Then yes.”
“Yes?”
“Yes,” Dessaray said with a smile that lit up her eyes. Throwing her arms around his neck they hugged. Thinking how lucky he was Zac smiled too, his entire face a mass of happiness. A knock on door drew their attention and Zac looked up at Mrs. Duncan in the doorway.
“Zac your mom called, she wants you home for supper.”
“Okay, thanks.” He hugged her once more, Dessaray kissed his cheek, and Zac left. Hopping on his bike, Taylor’s old one, he rode home. Ten minutes later he stepped into his warm house. Taking a seat in the living room Zac watched Jessie and her boyfriend, Jamie, playing cards on the coffee table. Avery sat on the other end of the couch watching ‘Alice in Wonderland’ with Mackie next to her. Zoë kept running into and out of the kitchen, coming into the living room and running back. Lexi and Morgan played with large plastic farm trucks and tractors in the middle of the floor.
“Supper,” Diana called into the room as she gathered Lexi, Morgan, and Zoë and took them to get their hands washed before they ate. Sitting around the table there were usually two empty spots, Taylor’s and Isaac’s, but with Jamie staying for supper there was only one. Diana looked around the table at all the young faces, and said a silent prayer to the lord in heaven above to protect her sons and everyone’s sons in the war, fighting over seas. Walker held her hand and together everyone around the table prayed, thanking God for the food, friends, and family, and asking him to protect their loved ones.
In September 2001, Diana woke a t 2:37 a.m. to the phone ringing. Stiff with fear she let it ring. Walker sat up, turning on the bedside lamp and picked up the phone. Answering it his face paled and Diana knew something happened to either Isaac or Taylor or possibly both.
“That was my sister, Sarah, Johnnie’s dead,” Walker said still in shock.
“Your nephew Johnnie?”
“Yeah. Donna’s pretty shook up, Johnnie was her only child. Sarah is staying with her for awhile.”
“Oh Walker, I’m so sorry.”
“It was his time I guess.”
“I just pray our boys will come home,” Diana whispered, laying her head on Walker’s chest. Walker wrapped his arms around her and prayed to a higher power to protect his family, near and far. The two slept peacefully until 4:30, when Lexi came in saying she had a scary dream. Climbing into bed with them she fell asleep but Walker and Diana got up and started their morning routine.
“Bye Mom,” Zac yelled as he ran out the door, heading for Dessaray’s house. Dessaray answered, letting Zac into the house she smiled, an evil twinkle in her eye. Shutting the door Dessaray led the way to her room where they usually hung out. Shutting her bedroom door she leaned against it and looked at Zac.
“What?”
“My mom’s not home,” Dessaray said, jumping onto the bed next to him.
“Really? Where’d she go?”
“Do you really care?”
“Not really,” Zac said with a shrug. Cuddling on the bed the two 15-year-olds watched movies until Zac had to leave. As time went on their relationship progressed. When Zac’s birthday rolled around he got his license and was constantly on the go, usually driving Dessaray around. Sometimes they’d go to the park on a full moon and just sit under the stars and moon, clouds and sky, thinking, not talking. During those times Zac thought about Taylor and Isaac and how much he missed them. The way they picked on him, teased him, joked around, and how much fun they’d had together, and he wondered if they’d ever see each other again.
“Zac do you love me?” Dessaray asked on one of those nights a couple years later, a couple months before his 18th birthday. Zac thought. He loved the way her skin felt, her gentle touch, her soft kissed, warm breath, sweet smell, silky hair, sparkling eyes, beautiful smile, he loved everything about her, but did he love her? Dessaray waited expectantly for his response. Zac smiled and knew the answer.
“Yes, with all my heart.”
“Good.” All she said was ‘good.’ Not ‘I love you too,’ but ‘good.’ Zac shook his head and laughed, he really did love Dessaray, but would he get to stay with her, be with her, or would he get sucked into the war? Zac stared up at eh stars and saw a shooting star. Making a wish he wished to be with Dessaray the rest of his life.
“Zac?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you,” Dessaray whispered so softly the slight breeze almost carried it away. Zac smiled and kissed her. Lying on the grass the two stargazed together for hours until the sun began to rise. Watching a spectacular sunrise of colors ranging from pink and orange to purple, blue, and green Zac wrapped his strong arms around Dessaray’s tiny frame. He leaned his chin on her shoulder and watched the sun being reborn into the world.
“Zac when are you coming over? I have your birthday present,” Dessaray asked into the phone on his birthday.
“I’m leaving as soon as I hang up.”
“Bye,” Dessaray said and hung up. Zac hung up the phone and headed to his truck. Speeding down the street to Dessaray’s house he pulled into the empty driveway. Dessaray let him in without even knocking and as usual they went up to her room. Sitting on her bed Zac turned on the TV and waited for his present.
“So, where’s m present? I’m a very impatient person you know.”
“Close your eyes,” Dessaray commanded. Zac closed his eyes tightly, not peeking and Dessaray got his present ready. Heart pounding she desperately hoped he would like what she got him. Taking a deep breath she cleared her throat. “Okay, you can open your eyes.” Zac opened his eyes and his mouth dropped open. Unable to blink let alone form words he stared and Dessaray became more and more uncomfortable. “Zac?”
“Holy shit!” he whispered finally able to talk.
“Do you like?”
“Uh…yeah.”
“Well, for tonight it’s all yours.”
“What are you saying? Are you sure?”
“I think so,” Dessaray said, shifting from foot to foot. Zac nodded, a naked girl willing to let you do what you wanted to for your birthday was not something to be wasted. Patting the bed at a spot near him Zac waited for her to sit next to him. Kissing her quite aggressively he whispered ‘I love you’ in her ear and helped her pull off his own clothes. Brushing hair from her sleeping face Zac’s hand traced her features. Dessaray opened her eyes and smiled. Leaning down he kissed her lightly.
“I hate to do this but I really have to go, your mom will be home soon and my parents will be looking for me,” Zac said, pulling on his plaid boxers, jeans, baggy sweater, and socks and shoes.
“I understand. Call me later?”
“Don’t I always?” Zac asked rhetorically. “I love you,” he whispered, kissing her forehead and left the room. Returning home Zac went upstairs and showered. Heading to his room he heard crying in his parents’ room. Fearing the worst he tiptoed into the room. He stuck his head in the room and saw his mother and father sitting on their bed, his mother crying on his father’s shoulder. The floor creaked under his weight and Walker looked up at him. “What happened?”
“Come in and shut the door,” Walker directed. Once Zac shut the door he began. “It’s your brother, Isaac, he’s been wounded. He’s coming home.”
“What happened?” he repeated his earlier question.
“A land mine, he lost both his legs.” At this Diana cried even harder.
“How is he?” Walker shrugged and Zac left the room. Going to his room Zac laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He looked at the clock, 6:15, he grabbed his keys and jumped into his trucked, heading for the mall. After hitting the MAC machine he headed to the jewelry store and found a beautiful diamond ring he knew Dessaray would love. Paying cash for the ring Zac put it in his pocket and drove like mad to Dessaray’s house.
“Hello, is Dessaray home?” Zac asked Mrs. Duncan.
“Yeah, wait in the living room.” Zac went into the living room and nervously paced the length of the room. Every three steps he patted his pocket to make sure the ring was still there. Hearing Dessaray coming down the stairs Zac looked up and saw the surprised look on her face as she realized who it was.
“What are you doing here? Is something wrong?”
“Dessaray will you marry me?” Zac asked on one knee, holding the open box out toward her. Dessaray’s mouth hung open as she took the box from Zac. Pulling the ring out she looked at it and tried it on, a perfect fit. Tears welled in her eyes and all she could do was nod her head. Zac smiled and kissed her as passionately as he ever had.
Journal Entry: November 13, 2003
I’ve been
drafted. I’m so scared to tell Dessaray
or my parents for that matter. Isaac’s
being transferred to a hospital in the states soon, but I don’t know if I wanna
see him. I mean it’s mean to say it but
it’s not going to be the Isaac I once knew and I don’t want a new Isaac, I want
the old one. Seems like I’ve been doing
a lot of wanting lately. Dessaray’s
making me crazy, she won’t let me near her until we get married, I can only
kiss and hug her. It’s not like we
haven’t already had sex so what’s the big deal? Must be a woman thing.
I can’t believe
I’ve been drafted. I got this notice
almost a week ago and I only have three more days here, I’ve been trying to
spend as much time with everyone as possible without letting on. I know I’ve gotta tell them, and soon, but
I’m so scared. Not scared of what
they’ll say, there’s nothing they can say, but I’m scared they’ll accept it and
it’ll be final. I don’t want it to be
final. I don’t want to kill people for
the soul purpose of doing what my country wants. How do I know the people I’d be shooting aren’t as innocent as
me, with families and beautiful fiancée’s?
I can’t, I know I won’t be able to, yet if I don’t I’ll die and Ill
never see the people I love again. I
wanna go to Canada!
The easy way
out would be to go to Canada. They
can’t hold it against me if I hold human life dear and a treasure not for us,
mere mortals, to trifle with. I hate
this! I finally know what I want, and I
can’t just go after it and be happy. I
can’t just settle down and have a family with Dessaray. I have to go off to this stupid war. Life is so unfair, but I shouldn’t complain
others have it worse than me, and I should be proud to be able to serve my
country. But I’m not!
~Zac
Chapter
1: Goodbye!
The day Zac was set to leave came and he still hadn’t told anyone about the draft letter. Two hours before they were coming Zac sat down at his desk and took out paper. With a black Bic pen he wrote a letter for his parents.
‘Dear Mom and Dad,
I know I should
have said something earlier but with Isaac’s injury and everything there was no
right time. When you get this I’ll be
on my way to Fort Smith. I’ve been
drafted. I’m sorry to have done this to
you, I truly am. I love you both so
much, and I always will. Tell everyone
I said goodbye. Oh and can you do me a
favor? Watch out for Dessaray, my
fiancée, I love her with all my heart and wanna marry her when I get out of
this God forsaken war. I love you all! Goodbyes aren’t always forever, they’re just
for a little while so I’ll see you in a little while.
~Zac’
He set the letter in an envelope Zac sealed it and addressed it to his parents. He took out more paper he started another letter, this one for Dessaray.
‘Dessaray, my love,
I’m sorry to
spring this on you, but I’ve been drafted and today I’m leaving. Since the night in the park when I said “I
love you” I’ve wanted nothing more than to marry you and start a family. One day we will, I hope, I will come back. I give you my heart and soul, mind, body,
and spirit from now until forever.
Believe me when I say I will come back, just don’t give up hope.
Love always,
Zac’
He set the letter down and found an envelope and put the letter into it. He wrote her name on it, sealed the letter, and took it downstairs to the kitchen. Grabbing his keys he jumped into his truck and drove to Dessaray’s house. No one was home and Zac left the letter in the screen door. He returned home, took his things from his room and left when his ride came. The letter for his parents he left on their bed.
“Is
Zac home?” Dessaray asked over the phone a few hours later when she and her mom
returned home, via the back door, from the doctor’s office.
“No,
I’m not sure where he is, his truck’s in the driveway. Let me go check upstairs,” Diana said,
setting the phone down.
“Dessaray,
this is for you,” Mrs. Duncan said, handing her the plain envelope.
“Thanks,”
she said, opening it. Hanging up the
phone Dessaray took the letter to her room and curled up on her bed,
sobbing. One minute she was excited and
ready to tell Zac the most important thing he’d ever hear, and the next she was
curled into a ball crying, terrified her unborn child would never see it’s
father, and it’s father would never know about it. For hours she cried, curled up on her bed until no more tears
would come, and the phone rang.
“Dessaray,
phone!”
“Hello?”
she said, picking up the phone by her bed, her voice husky form crying.
“I
guess you already heard,” Diana said in a voice as husky as hers.
“Yeah,
I got a letter. He said he wanted to get
married and start a family. Diana he
got half of what he wanted, and now I can’t tell him,” Dessaray said, starting
to cry again.
“Yes,
you will. You’ll see him again, my Zac
is strong, he’ll survive,” Diana said with conviction.
“I’m
scared,” Dessaray whispered.
“It’s
alright. We’re here for you, whatever
you need. We’re here.”
“Thank
you.”
“You’re
welcome, and don’t be a stranger.”
Dessaray hung up the phone and curled back up on her bed, reading and
rereading the letter until she memorized every word on the paper. Time passed and Isaac, if he could be called
Isaac any longer, came home. Diana
spent many sleepless nights worrying over Taylor and Zac, her tears long since
dried up.
As time went by Dessaray grew closer to the Hanson family, and just plain grew. On July 4, 2004, Dessaray gave birth to a beautiful, healthy, blond baby boy. Diana and her mother were with her and Walker taped it for Zac to see when he came home, never if, always when.
“What
are you gonna name him?” Jessie asked Dessaray when she was in her hospital
room.
“Zachary
Walker Hanson Jr.,” Dessaray said, kissing her son’s head as she held his
sleeping body.
“He’s
beautiful,” Avery said, picking up his tiny hand.
“Yeah,
he is,” Dessaray agreed, the classic proud new mother. “I just wish Zac was here.” The day little Zac was born a letter was
hand delivered to the Hanson house.
Diana read it, hands trembling, Zac was dead, she collapsed onto the
floor, her legs unable to support her, she red the letter again, not wanting to
believe it. It said; ‘we are sorry to
inform you, but your son, Zachary Hanson, is dead.’
“Diana? What’s wrong?” Walker asked, coming into the
hallway.
“It’s
Zac. He’s dead,” Diana sobbed. Walker’s face scrunched up, trying not to
cry he held his wife. Diana clung onto
her husband and cried. Walker rubbed
her back in a soothing manner and they sat on the floor, crying.
“What
are we going to tell Dessaray?” Diana asked when her tears slowed.
“The
truth. Let’s wait until tomorrow, let
today be a happy day.” Diana nodded,
and they rocked back and forth on the floor, gaining strength from each other.
Isaac rolled by and saw them on the floor.
Picking up the letter on the floor he read it, dropping it on the floor
he rolled away. Completely changed
since his accident Isaac cracked and hung himself in the garage. Walker found him, tried reviving him, and
called an ambulance. They held his
funeral with Zac’s both were closed casket.
Dessaray and Diana cried together in the front row, and little Zac cried
in his mother’s arms.
The
war finally ended on July 4, 2006, little Zac’s 2nd birthday, and
the second anniversary of the news of Zac’s death. Dessaray was in college, Diana and her mom taking care of little
Zac while she was at school. The news
came that Taylor would be coming home and that gave Diana some home, but all
around she was in depression.
Taylor
came home in early October and for the first time met his nephew, he also found
out his little sister, Jessica, was pregnant.
Her ex-boyfriend, Matt, split the second he found out she was
pregnant. Walker reacted as a typical
parent would, he ranted and raved, calmed down and discussed it with her. Diana, however, deep in depression, didn’t
notice.
Zac’s
birthday passed, fresh flowers were placed on his grave and soon Halloween
came. Little Zac, excited about
trick-or-treating, even though he was only a little over two, convinced
Dessaray to take him out. Dressed in a
soft, warm Eeyore costume and tucked in his stroller Dessaray pushed him around
the block. Growing hungry he started to
whine and Dessaray stopped at a park bench to get some crackers for him.
“Excuse
me, can I sit down?” she asked a man in his early twenties who was sitting on
the bench, looking lost.
“Sure,”
he said in a deep voice, lost in thought.
Dessaray sat on the bench, holding little Zac and giving him the
crackers. Dessaray brushed his blond
hair from his big brown eyes; he definite had his father’s looks, and kissed
his head.
“Cute
kid,” the man told Dessaray as he watched little Zac eat.
“Thanks,”
Dessaray said, looking him over.
“Mommy,”
Zac said, tugging on her sleeve.
“What
sweetie?”
“Who’s
he?” he asked, pointing a pudgy finger at the man on the other end of the
bench.
“I
don’t know, why don’t you ask him?” Dessaray suggested, setting him on the
ground so she could put the crackers away.
“Who
are you?” Zac asked, walking over to the man, sticking his thumb in his mouth.
Startled
the man looked at Zac, “my name’s Zac.”
“Really? That’s me,” little Zac said, pointing to his
chest.
“That’s
great, I always wanted a son and be able to name him after me, maybe. Your father must be proud.”
“I
don’t have a father,” Zac said, sniffling.
“Zachary! I told you your father died in the war,”
Dessaray said gently, trying to explain to the child.
“Mommy’s
wrong,” little Zac whispered confidentially to the older Zac.
“Zachary
Hanson Jr. stop it!” Dessaray said, turning toward her son.
“Dessaray?”
“Yes. How do you know that? Who are you?” Dessaray asked, pulling little
Zac away from the now standing stranger.
“Don’t
you recognize me? I said I’d come back
or did you forget and lose hope?” he asked, darkness enshrouding him.
“Who
are you?”
“It’s
me…Zac,” he said, stepping into the light of the street lamp. Dessaray looked at him, long blond hair,
fair asking, large brown eyes, the eyes her son had. Smiling Dessaray stepped closer and hugged him. Tears came to her eyes and she couldn’t stop
looking at him.
“What
happened? They said you were dead, they
gave us a body, it was you,” she said in disbelief.
“I
was taken to a prison camp,” Zac said, wiping the tears from Dessaray’s eyes.
“How
come you didn’t tell me?” Dessaray asked.
“I
didn’t know how. I left a letter.”
“I
know.”
“How
come you never, you know, told me?”
“About
Zac?” Dessaray asked, picking up the child covered in crumbs. “I called to tell you, but you were gone,
and I got the letter.”
“I’m
sorry,” Zac whispered. “I love you,” he
said, kissing her softly.
“Mommy,
who’s that?” little Zac asked, pointing to Zac.
“That’s
your Dad.”
“I
have a Dad? Cool!” little Zac said,
wrapping his arms around Zac’s neck.
Zac smiled, loving every minute of it.
Mouthing ‘I love you’ to Dessaray he carried his son to his parents
house as she pushed the empty stroller.
She rang the doorbell and Diana opened the door with Walker behind
her. Seeing Dessaray and her grandson
in some man’s arms she dropped the candy she was holding.
“Zac!”
she cried, hugging her son tightly, like he would disappear if she didn’t. Zac came into the house, led into the living
room. He sat on the couch with Dessaray
and little Zac and was swarmed by his loving family. Getting away from them hours later he, Dessaray, and little Zac
went up to his room.
“I
should be going,” Dessaray said, sitting on Zac’s bed while Zac and little Zac
explored the contents of the room.
“Why
don’t you stay?” Zac asked sincerely.
“I’ve
got school tomorrow.”
“Can’t
you just spend the night? I could watch
Zac tomorrow, gives me a chance to get to know him, and you won’t miss
school.” Dessaray looked at Zac’s face,
giving her the classic puppy face.
She
smiled and asked, “no funny business?”
“Of
course not, we’re not married yet,” Zac said with a mischievous smile.
“Are
we still going to get married?”
“Of
course, I love you with all my heart and soul, mid, body, and spirit,” Zac
said, wrapping his arms protectively around Dessaray and little Zac they all
fell asleep.
THE END!