Without you, I'm as lonely as an abandoned dog on the side of a highway.
I have gift anxiety, even though I don't know when your birthday is. We
can spend perfect days shopping and cleaning together. I swear, I'll 
never make wisecracks when you scrape your tires against the curb while 
parallel parking. If you consent to live with me, I'll clean the toilet 
every week. I'll do it with my tongue if you ask. I will strike the words
"hooters" and "love rockets" from my vocabulary. I'll love you. Even if 
your name is Mimi and you want me to pronounce it "May May". Hell, I'll 
go on a low cholesterol diet. Your parents can come visit us every week, 
even if your mom is a witch with a capital B. And your folks don't have 
to go to a retirement home because they can come live with us. I declare, 
I'll separate the whites from the colors and learn the mysteries of hot 
and cold water washes. I'll never huff and puff while waiting for you to 
put on your makeup. I will happily go see chick flicks with you, like 
"Pride and Prejudice." I'll make a point to trying new food like okra 
gumbo. I pledge to always say "yes" when you ask, "Is my hair looking 
okay tonight?" I'm gonna bring a whole new meaning to the word "cuddle." 
I'm gonna save every birthday card you send me! And I'll actually write 
you real letters when we're apart. I'm never gonna expect you to know 
where I left my car keys, and I'll never leave my socks on the floor. 
With me, you'll find the cap is always on the toothpaste. I'll start 
wearing those bikini style underwear if you like. My belly button will 
always be lint free. I want to full-on kiss your cl----is. It will be the 
most passionate, intimate experience you've ever had. I declare now, 
I will give my life for you. And if you fail to come to me, I know some 
part of me will surely die.

Matthew – 100 Girls (Movie) – Written by Michael Davis