In order to celebrate my recent birthday, Big Ben decided to take me to the Rat Circus, where his evil minions performed magic tricks, clownery, and rode elephants. I managed to sneak out the following picture of a rat walking on a tight rope.

     You may be wondering why I have not reported on any nefarious Christmas or New Year's Plots. The reason is quite astounding and totally unexpected from Big Ben. Perhaps he received a visit from the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future. Either way, this year he decided to give something to the little people.

     As many people know, Steve Irwin, "the Crocadile Hunter," was killed by a Stingray. But why would a stingray kill a Crocadile Hunter? The answer is Big Ben. I am not sure about his motive, but he may have received some money from the Crocadiles to get the job done. I caught Big Ben in the act of paying the stingray for getting the job done.

     Today's encounters technically belong in the links section, but not quite. As a college student, I have come across a few Big Ben related incidents in the area.

     If you thought Big Ben's last Halloween plot was scary, wait until you see this one! It turns out that Big Ben was using the ships to transport his henchmen to a secret laboratory base where they would become ZOMBIE RATS!!! They may look decrepid, but their bite is far worse than their bark.(and it may turn you into one of them!!!)

     Computerized boat travelers were reporting many strange things on their journeys. As an investigator of the strange, and suspecting foul play, I went to investigate. It turns out that my hunch was correct - the source of the oddities was Big Ben!! I managed to get this picture of him on the boat before I had to jump off because his lackeys weren't far behind. It seems that Big Ben is also a pirate!!!

     Last year Big Ben would stalk me from my laundry basket and mock my efforts in thwarting his plans. However, now that I live on campus in college, Big Ben lost track of me - at least for a little while. I used to think the showers were scary enough, but now I've been hearing some suspicious squeaking noises during the night. . .

     If you have ever been to the Cheesecake Factory, then you would be well aware of the fact that they charge a whole lot of money for their food. Why is this? The answer is very simple - Big Ben controls the cheesecake factory. While they do have to make profit to order supplies and pay the employees, they also have to make enough money to pay Big Ben in order to keep him from eating all of their cheesecake. They made a wise decision considering that their food is pretty good.

     Ever since spring break, Big Ben has been rather hard to find. However, after visiting some beaches I was able to find out the reason. Do you know why all of these people are running?

     It seems that Big Ben is the culprit behind the creation of this sculpture. This must be some sort of plan for Big Ben to idolize himself, like the bronze calf from the Bible. Perhaps that calf was an ancient version of Big Ben . . .

     Well, Big Ben's New Year's resolution is apparently to take over the world, since he has yet to suceed. Instead of proceeding with his "Apocolypse" plan, which he has had prepared since the year 2000, he decided to run around in the roads drunk in order to make drunk drivers crash. Hopefully he will have the same plans next year. ;)

     Big Ben's recent lack of activity now has an explanation. It turns out that Big Ben was hidding out with former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein! As these updates show, Big Ben wasn't hiding with him the whole time, but apparently he was at the place where Saddam was caught. This EXCLUSIVE picture shows Big Ben hiding on location, if you can spot him. . .

     It seems that Big Ben has been quite busy. His latest plan is coming to theaters soon!!! (or now, I'm not very good with release dates) It is too horrible to describe here, you have to see it for yourself, if you dare!

     I have finally managed to find out why Big Ben went into hiding! It wasn't due to me or the authorities, but because he has been working on a secret Halloween prank - He is bringing corpses back to life! What will he use them for? I don't know. Did he get this idea from Capcom, the makers of Resident Evil? Probably not, since NOBODY likes a lawsuit, especially over copyrights. In summation, if a zombie comes up to your door on Halloween, beware because they may have come for more than candy. . .

     Recently, news on Big Ben has been relatively hard to find. After much painstaking research, I have found that it is because Big Ben has been in hiding - as a cat!! This secret identity also leads me to believe that Big Ben may have invented the "Meow Mix" jingle, in which a cat meows a tune. While we think of it as a cute cat singing, it may in actuality be hypnotizing our cats to obey Big Ben!!!

     According to something I've heard, and this photo, it seems that rats are not allowed to be killed in India. In fact, it seems that they have got it pretty good. This leads me to one of two conclusions:

      This image seems to be a recreation of a murder performed by Big Ben. The cause would have greatly benefitted if the victim had escaped with her life, since Big Ben probably killed her for knowing too much. . .

      My first encounter with Big Ben starts in the year 1999, when I played the game Evolution on the Sega Dreamcast. Although I thought nothing of it then, I now realize that this is part of Big Ben's plans for world conquest since, not only was he in Evolution, he was also in Evolution 2 (Dreamcast) and Evolution Worlds(Gamecube). Although this may initially seem harmless, his prescence in these video games characterizes him as a common thing in the world, and prepares us for him to come out of the shadows. . .