....which side will you be on?
If you are looking for the soundtrack on CD which includes
the single and full Miss Luba & Criolla mass available nowhere else or for
the film on VHS or a R0 DVD contact me.
To order The
Lindsay Anderson Diaries
Cast | Awards | Billy Liar |
British Film Guide | BFI Book | Classic Lines |
Christine Noonan | The Crusaders - 2nd Draft |
The Fake Script | Deceased | Deleted Scenes |
DVD | Errors | Filming Locations |
Formats | Interviews |
Lindsay Anderson | Malcolm's Q&A |
Music | News | Notes |
Pictures | Play |
Premiere 2002 | Quotes | Reviews |
The Sequel | Sounds | Soundtrack
| Stories | How Malcolm got his Big Break |
Synopsis - Official | My Summary |
My Review | The Tiger Scene |
Together Again | Together Before |
The X-Rating | Understanding if.... |
Zero de Conduite
Role | Actor |
Crusaders | |
Michael 'Mick' Travis | Malcolm McDowell |
Johnny Knightly | David Wood |
Wallace | Richard Warwick |
The Girl | Christine Noonan |
Bobby Philips | Rupert Webster |
Whips | |
Rowntree | Robert Swann |
Richard Denson | Hugh Thomas |
Fortinbras | Michael Cadman |
Barnes | Peter Sproule |
Staff | |
Headmaster | Peter Jeffrey |
General Denson | Anthony Nicholls |
Mr. Kemp - Housemaster | Arthur Lowe |
Mrs. Kemp | Mary Macleod |
Matron (Nurse) | Mona Washourne |
Chaplain - Rev Woods | Geoffrey Chater |
John Thomas - Under master | Ben Aris |
Mr. Stewart - History master | Graham Crowden |
Classic master | Charles Lloyd Pack |
School Porter | Tommy Godfrey |
School master | Peter Jaques |
Music master | John Garrie |
Seniors | |
Stephans | Guy Ross |
Keating | Robin Askwith |
Pussy Graves | Richard Everitt |
Peanuts | Philip Bagenal |
Cox | Nicholas Page |
Fisher | Robert Yetzes |
Willens | David Griffin |
Baird | Richard Tombleson |
Van Eyssen | Graham Sharman |
Juniors | |
Machin | Richard Davies |
Biles | Brian Pettifer |
Brunning | Michael Newport |
Markland | Charles Sturridge |
Jute | Sean Bury |
Hunter | Martin Beaumont |
Others | |
Motorcycle Salesman | Ellis Dale |
Schoolboy | Simon Ward |
Extra | Tudor Williams |
Directed by Lindsay Anderson
Written by David Sherwin
Won the Golden Palm (Best Picture) 5/24/69 Cannes Film Festival. The award was presented to Lindsay by Claudia Cardinale.
Lindsay Anderson directed the world premiere of the play and his production starring Albert Finney and later Tom Courtenay, was a huge West End success. Lindsay was going to make the film, but the producer wouldn't hire him because he'd never made a feature film before. In the film, there are many parallels with if.... First is the casting of Mona Washbourne. Then the performance of Courtenay as Billy, which was designed by Lindsay Anderson, has many parallels with McDowell's as Travis. There are also great little flashes of Courtenay firing a machine gun at the 'dullards' before him.
Link
to order from Amazon UK
Link to order from Amazon USA
Turner Classic Movies BFG - by Paul Sutton 10/10/05 in the UK
published by I.B. Tauris
US publishing date 11/5/05
Lindsay Anderson's provocative, savage and wickedly funny 1968 masterpiece, "'if....", deals fundamentally - and controversially - with England and 'Englishness'. Coming six years after Anderson's double Oscar-nominated debut feature, "This Sporting Life", and based in part on the director's own experiences of British public school and the military "if..." was the first film with a British setting and cast to win the Palme d'Or for Best Film at Cannes. The fruit of Anderson's first-hand studies of the Czech, Polish and Indian New Waves led by Milos Forman, Andrzej Wajda and Satyajit Ray, it prophesied - and then mirrored - an international outbreak of youthful rebellion. Sutton here draws on a number of sources: Anderson's private archive, which illuminates the film's autobiographical elements; the original script "Crusaders"; which would be transformed into 'if....'; the sequel on which he was working at the time of his death; and interviews with key members of cast and crew including actor Malcolm McDowell. Disentangling Anderson's work from the social realist tag, Sutton also discusses the film's experimental mix of realism and fantasy, the responses from the censors, audiences and public schools on which it was based and unravels the mysteries of a film which continues to delight, enrage and inspire.
114 pages
List of 15 pictures / vi
Acknowledgements / vii
Film Credits - crew & cast 1
Introduction 3
1. The Context 5
2. The Narrative 44
3. The Reception, the Sequel 83
4. The Conclusion 103
Appendix 105
Notes 109
Sources 113
Running a site like this means I get to meet
many people and even befriend a few. One of those is Paul Sutton, the author of
this book. This makes it tougher to review the book as I don't want to say
anything that would upset him, but I still want to tell the truth, so we talked
about the book after I read it and before I wrote this. The shortest possible
review I can give is this - buy this book now! Do whatever it takes to get it,
it's essential for any fan of this film and you won't be disappointed.
Now on to my detailed review. Paul was limited to 40,000
words and had to write it within the structure already set down in the series.
So anything I didn't like I just chalked up to the restrictions of the format.
The intro is a short two pages and doesn't talk much about
if.... One thing it aims to clarify is to say Lindsay was never part of the
Angry Young Man movement. Then comes the set up dealing with Lindsay's life
before making the film. This section was the ONLY part of the book I had a
problem with - the first 25 pages. Start at the section "David Sherwin's
Crusaders" to really dive right into the film.
There are some real gems in the setup about things
Lindsay saw, read or wrote about early on that eventually wound up in the film.
The feeling I got was, let's get to the meat already - the film. The best quotes
from the beginning could've been peppered into the main talk of the film or the
section could've been cut down to a few pages. I feel it took too long to get to
if.... too much about Free Cinema, Royal Court Theater, etc. It's like sitting
down to watch a film and getting 10 minutes of credits before it starts. I know
he did the utmost with the format presented, it just left me wanting to get on
with the film analysis. Maybe it's just me since I know a lot about Lindsay and
wrote a large biography for him on the site. Someone less familiar with the
great director will probably get much more out of this that I did. One slight
complaint was the decision to only include one quote from Christine Noonan when
he had more available.
The gems are a 1935 film Lindsay reviewed called "Kid
Millions" that switched from color to black and white and had a machine gun
sequence. In 1941 he was forced to endure Kipling's poem "If". During
WWII he was singled out for not being as neat as he should've been. An
interesting anecdote from Jocelyn Herbert about a fight she had with him in 1957
sums up everything I've heard Malcolm McDowell say about Lindsay, "Whenever
he saw something for the first time he'd be frightened it wasn't right."
This immediately made me think of the story Malcolm tells of presenting his 40
page outline of O Lucky Man! to Lindsay to read. He said nothing while reading
it until he was done and told Malcolm, "It's not very good is it?"
Then after writer David Sherwin read it he said it was brilliant and knew
Lindsay had screwed with his head.
After this it goes into more about the shaping of Lindsay's
mind toward the idea of making films. What he watched, where he went, who he
surrounded himself with. On page 16 is the first picture which is quite
striking. The great director is filming the chapel scene and is surrounded by
boys who will be singing. He is walking through the middle of them like Moses
parting the Red Sea. Perhaps he just made a joke to break the tension as the
closet boys are smiling. Other boys watch him intently, with serious looks that
say to me they want to please him and do a good job. The second picture on page
21 is history. It's Lindsay looking through a lens, taken on the first day of
filming, probably setting up the first shot in the film.
The Crusaders - second draft 1966
On page 25 begins the first time the original
draft of David Sherwin's original script has been published which is a
fascinating read. Here's a summary: At the end of summer Mick is on a train
returning to school wearing a beard. In
his compartment is an Irish man, a cockney woman and a beautiful girl named
Glenda (The Girl in the film). Mick pretends he is from Czechoslovakia, and that he has been
exiled for taking part in the revolution. Mick pretends he is a freedom fighter. Upon arrival at school we learn Mick and
Johnny have been passed over for a promotion and Mick is singled out for being
incident. During a Rugby game Mick and Johnny sneak into town and run into
Glenda working at a cafe, but she doesn't remember them. When they return to
school they are caught and caned, Johnny 3 times, Mick 10. Mick plans on
sneaking away later to see Glenda and Johnny is to cover for her, but when he is
called to play on the tennis team he changes his mind. Mick asks whose side is
he on?
Johnny wins his match and is awarded a varsity letter or
school colors. During the celebration dinner Mick starts smashing plates and
others join him. A riot nearly breaks out and Rowntree and the seniors break it
up by slapping the bad boys in the face. Mick is sent to his room and told to
report to a prefect every house from now on for the rest of the semester and
Denson orders his head shaved.
He still dreams of Glenda and in a crafts class he makes her
a necklace. Since he can no longer escape with his new punishment he gives it to
Johnny to take to her. Upon arrival at the cafe he loses his nerve. Later there
is a fire drill in the night and Mick climbs down a drainpipe from his room to
get to the grounds. The prefects think he is showing off so they make him take a
long cold shower. Soon after he comes across rifles and bullets in the school
armory and steals them. He and Johnny use them for target practice. At the end
of the semester Johnny is made in charge of punishment and Mick must report to
him.
At the annual field day supervised by the general Mick sneaks
off with Phillips to smoke and is caught by Johnny. Mick knocks him out and
therefore is beaten again and Phillips is dunked in a toilet. They are accused
of being lovers and are "married" by the seniors. At the end of the
year while the snow is coming down Mick climbs up on the roof and lays in a
fetal ball. The next day he is found impaled on the iron school fence. Time goes
on and Johnny goes to see Glenda who is now wearing the necklace Mick made for
her.
Lindsay wanted to make the movie, but he
wanted to add his personal touches to it as noted in a letter he wrote to
Sherwin dated 11/6/66. He says the writing is immature in the first draft from
1960 and suggests adding Wallace to the picture more and to make it the three
boys together. He likes Peanuts, but isn't sure about Glenda. He then suggests
that when the boys sneak away from school that they steal a motorcycle and find
the girl - just like how it ended up in the film. He dismisses the idea of the
train in the beginning and says the film should start in the school - the world
of the film. He likes the scene with the fat boy, but doesn't like a scene about
Mick's clean teeth. He doesn't like a scene with a pen knife or the ending of
Mick dying - he doesn't think it fits. Basically he's looking to connect all the
scenes together, Mick maybe talking to Stewart, the inclusion of the school
song, who are the main characters and what is the theme of the film. He sees
Mick as the main character, but wants to know why he is driven to violence at
the end. He suggests a scene of the music master teaching the school song and
the inclusion of "the new boy". He's not sure about the scene of the
make headmaster's wife mixed with military boots - too harsh. He also thinks
some sort of action on field day made get Mick a beating.
These four pages along are worth the price of admission.
Absolutely invaluable to the incite of what went into sculpting the script into
the film we love today. On page 29 is a nice shot of Lindsay, smoking a
cigarette, direction Denson and others in their military garb in the woods.
Lindsay encouraged Sherwin to make the film more epic - in
the Brecht style. Malcolm has said he didn't really know what that meant and
Sherwin probably felt the same way. Instead Sherwin found influence in George
Buchner plays and Lindsay in the 1933 film "Zero de Conduite", a
surreal film
about a boys boarding school. In 1976 Lindsay wrote in a fan letter about this.
He used the film as a model, not a remake, as he wanted it more epic instead of
the conventional English narrative style. He even screened the film for Sherwin
and they felt the courage to make their film in an unconventional style after
watching it. Lindsay felt his film needed a violent ending and at first thought
about burning the school to the ground.
In June 1967 the script was ready and the film was to be
produced by Albert Finney's Memorial Pictures. Then Lindsay and David began
scouting, the first school Charterhouse was good, the boys would be available,
but wasn't as good as Lindsay's old school of Cheltenham. In August CBS agreed
to finance the script and Cheltenham College agreed they could film there, if
they liked the script. This created a problem. No school would like the harsh portrayal and the violent ending,
so Sherwin was forced to write a fake script.
The final problem was the title. Albert Finney's secretary Daphne Hunter
came up with "If" after the Kipling poem that Lindsay hated. Sherwin
changed it to "IF''''-" and Lindsay modified it to the final title
"if...." To get around writing an actual full script Sherwin wrote
most of the film would be improvised.
Here is the outline summary: The idea of
the film is to be a funny look at school life seen through the eyes of the three
main boys as well as their adventures and fantasies. The goal is to show the
reality of the world and since it is an independent film it will be improvised.
There are 3 areas to give an idea of the scope.
1. The film starts with establishing shots of the school to
show it is empty, before the semester starts.
2. Inside we see the halls filling with boys in a hurry to
get ready for the start of school.
3. The boys crowd around a bulletin board and Jute the new
boy doesn't know where to go so Rowntree assigns Brunning to him
All the offensive scenes are long gone with
Sherwin focusing on lyrical pieces like the placement of items instead of
homosexuality. The medical inspection is toned down and there is no blood in the
sword fight scene. The canning scene is described more as a dressing down by
Rowntree where he tells them they may think they are smart, but they are acting
like fools and need to grow up. There is no specific punishment, just an
allusion to making them run for a week.
The final problem was to somehow get the massacre at the end
into the film because the real headmaster of Cheltenham would be in the
final Field Day scene getting shot. Sherwin solved this by having it all be a
dream of Mick's while he is in class. He is awakened from his fantasy by Mr.
Stewart in a twist on the "mollusk king" scene from the film and it
ends by him having the boys write a 25 minute essay on George III.
Jocelyn Herbert says she felt bad about tricking the
headmaster this way, but Lindsay didn't care. Then in September CBS dropped out.
Albert Finney turned to Charles Bluhdorn who owned Gulf and Western and he
financed the film without even seeing a script for $389,000. Adjusted for
inflation this would be $1.5 million today. No matter how you cut it - a small
budget.
These 5 pages are all gems in that we get a behind the scenes
look at the length Lindsay went to get what he wanted. He wanted Cheltenham and
that was that. He knew the script wouldn't fly, so he tricked the headmaster.
Brilliant and sneaky, but also funny.
This is a book this site had a hand in.
Cover
Scan
if.... bfi film classics
By Mark Sinker
Paperback: 8.99
96 pages, Illustrated
Published November 2004
ISBN: 1 84457 040 1
From back cover: Lindsay Anderson's film if....(1968),
starring Malcolm McDowell as a
schoolboy who leads a guerilla insurgency, imagines how repression, conformism
and fusty ritual at an English Public School could lead to anarchy and bloody
revolt. Its title is a sardonic nod to Rudyard Kipling's most famous poem, and
its story a radical updating of Kipling's 1899 story-sequence Stalky and Co. ,
in which prankish rebels are groomed to police the Empire. Released at a time of
unprecedented student uprisings across the globe, if.... provided a peculiarly
English perspective on the battle between generations-the perennial war of the
romantically passionate against the corrupt, the ugly, the old and the foolish.
With hindsight, the forces of conformity proved better able
to exploit the Generation Gap than their foes: Anderson was quickly out of
sympathy with the post-1960s counterculture, and if... now seems presciently
dense with ambiguity. It is stylistically varied - shot in both color and black
and white, a mix of mock-documentary and quasi-surrealism - and far more
contradictory than first viewing or fond memory allow. Though its emotional
surface is authentically anti-authoritarian, its intellectual substance, as Mark
Sinker argues, is rooted in a deep familiarity with the symbols of English
ruling-class values. No longer a vehicle for shock or dissent, if.... is today
enjoyed comfortably, even nostalgically but for Sinker this renders its many
knots and paradoxes, the moments of poetry that Anderson argued were cinema's
raison d'etre, all the more fascinating.
Mark Sinker, a contributing editor at Sight and Sound, was
editor of The Wire in the early 1990s. His Village Voice essay on Iannis Xenakis
was included in Da Capo's Best Music Writing of 2003 collection.
In order of appearance.
"Run! Run in the corridor!" - Rowntree
"Markland, warm a lavatory seat for me. I'll be ready in three minutes." - Rowntree
"When do we live? that's what I want to know." - Mick
"One night we're going to massacre you, Stephans. I'll do it for free." - Wallace
"Work - play - but don't mix the two." - Mr. Kemp
"Fight the good fight, Stephans." - Chaplain
"There is no such thing as a wrong war. Violence and revolution are the only pure acts. War is the last possible creative act." - Mick
"There's only one thing you can do with a girl like this. Walk naked into the sea together as the sun sets, make love once...then die." - Mick
"Blood! Real blood!" - Mick
"Dead man's leg today, Mrs. Kemp?" - Mick
"Do you mean that bit of wool on your tit?" - Mick
"The thing I hate about you, Rowntree, is the way you give Coca-Cola to your scum, and your best teddy bear to Oxfam and expect us to lick your pretty fingers for the rest of your frigid life." - Mick
"One man can change the world with a bullet in the right place." - Mick
"You're all dead...I've won!" - Mr. Thomas
Page for her with bio, pictures and resume
The unfortunate loss of those involved.
Date | Person |
2/22/77 | Anthony Nicholls |
4/15/82 | Arthur Lowe |
12/22/83 | Charles Lloyd Pack |
6/24/84 | Tommy Godfrey |
2/6/86 | Dandy Nichols |
11/15/88 | Mona Washbourne |
8/30/94 | Lindsay Anderson |
12/16/97 | Richard Warwick of AIDS |
1999 | John Garrie |
12/25/99 | Peter Jeffrey |
8/6/03 | Christine Noonan of cancer |
9/4/03 | Ben Aris |
6/06 | Robert Swann |
Note:
Rupert Webster was reported as murdered in NYC subway on 3/15/95. David Sherwin the writer of if... wrote about this event in Going Mad in Hollywood because he heard it from Lindsay Anderson himself. This is a case of mistaken identity as I have talked to his fellow band mates who hooked me up with Rupert himself. This is great news. Check the Pictures section for recent shots.
Mick
firing a gatling gun from the roof with the Girl feeding him bullets
This might've been removed since it would've been much more violent and have
killed many
more people.
The Criterion release from 6/13/07. This is bare bones for them.
2 disc set
New, restored high-definition digital transfer, approved by cinematographer Miroslav Ondricek and assistant editor Ian Rakoff
Audio commentary featuring film critic and historian David Robinson and actor Malcolm McDowell
A 2003 episode from the Scottish TV series Cast and Crew about if...., featuring interviews with McDowell, Ondricek, director's assistant Stephen Frears, producer Michael Medwin and screenwriter David Sherwin.
Thursday's Children (1955), Anderson's Academy Award-winning breakthrough documentary about a school for deaf children, co-directed by Guy Brenton and narrated by Richard Burton.
New video interview with actor Graham Crowden
Original theatrical trailers
A booklet featuring pieces by critic David Ehrenstein, screenwriter David Sherwin, and director Lindsay Anderson
David Robinson's only claim to fame is that he visited the set when the film was being made and he wrote a good article that was printed in The Financial Times.
Scan
1
At 3:15 Jute is trying to see the board, at 4:10 he's talking to Rowntree
and his hair, collar and tie are in different positions. He did just run down
the hall, but it seems a little different, like it was filmed much later.
Scan
2
At 12:16 the students are standing next to tables
with papers at their hands as Housemaster enters. At 12:48 the shot reverses and the papers are gone.
Scan
3
At 55:27 Mick pulls the motorcycle into the lot of the Packhorse cafe and it is
empty. At 55:32 when they get off the bike there is a blue car there. At 55:44
when they enter the building a truck can be seen parked through the window.
Scan
4
At 57:12 the girl slides cups of coffee to Mick and Johnny, the counter is clean
and two cups with two saucers are in front of the pot on the left. At 57:39 Mick dumps a large spoonful of sugar in his cup and some spills
then coffee drips on the counter when he throws the spoon in the tin pointing
toward the door. At 57:47 the next shot shows the girl looking at them and there
is a large spill of coffee on the counter to the right, the mess Mick made is gone,
the cups and saucers have moved and the spoon is pointing to the left showing multiple takes edited together.
Scan
5
At 1:49:10 the headmaster yells to the crusaders on the roof, then is shot dead.
Behind him are kids on the ground holding rifles and behind them are dead,
wounded and those seeking cover. At 1:49:25 the next shot shows an explosion in
the grass from a mortar and everyone is gone. This could be interpreted as
"is it a dream?" Either way the shadow from the roof doesn't go all
the way across the lawn to the right, in the next shot the shadow covers the
entire area.
Across
from the Packhorse Cafe 2/09
Across from the Packhorse Cafe 1968 (55 minutes into the film)
Cheltenham College 2004
The school was Lindsay's old Alma Mater Cheltenham College, Cheltenhem, Gloucestershire. This was not revealed as part of the agreement needed to shoot there. The students used in the film were actual students from the school. The weren't paid, just fed and given a class by the film crew.
Aldenham was used for scenes that needed to be filmed when they had to move out of Cheltenham. In the Summer, Cheltenham School has played host to a county cricket tournament, which meant that it wasn't available during the last weeks of the summer.
The J&H Packhorse Cafe doesn't exist anymore. It was on the A5 south of Dunstable - the Packhorse petrol station remains. The Red Cow Farm is across the street when Mick passes. The brick front is now painted white. The white fence is still there, but road markers have been put in front of it. The road in the film is lined with Elm trees and most of them vanished in the mid-70s because of an outbreak of Dutch elm disease, they've been replaced by another type of tree.
The Sweat Room scenes were filmed at Aldenham (though Jocelyn redesigned them).
The painting in the dining hall is Richard Platt from Aldenham School. The Hall scene was an amalgamation of the school halls at Cheltenham and Aldenham.
The speech day interior was filmed inside St John's Church, Albion Street, Cheltenham. The church was demolished a while back.
The motorbike shop was in Shepherd's Bush, London.
Beta/VHS - NTSC + PAL/LD - All out of print, DVD R1
VHS 6838, Hi Fi, UPC0 37757 36838 1 released 1986
Paramount Home Video 5555 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA 90038
Exclusive - The Hunt for Rupert Webster - two interviews
Exclusive 2/02 My Interview w/Rupert Webster
Exclusive
5/22/02 Q&A with Malcolm
7/69 Seventeen Magazine
w/Malcolm
2/9/02 BFI w/Malcolm
3/17/02 Sunday Herald with Malcolm
More info on the director including a biography + resume
The opening is the College Song - Stand up! Stand up! for College (to the tune of Stand up, stand up, for Jesus) Words by George Duffield, Jr. Music by George J. Webb 1858.
The hymn sung at the beginning of section 2 is Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan from 1684.
The record Mick listens to is "Sanctus" by The Singers of King Baudouin - a group of school children from the Congo, Africa. They perform the Christian mass, but did not compose it. The Sanctus is a part of a larger mass called the Missa Luba and there are several recordings of the full mass available, but none sound nearly as good as the one used in the film recorded in 1965.
In 1981 Elton John released a music video for his autobiographical 'Elton's Song.' The whole video plays out like a mini version of if...., focusing on the gay relationship wanted by a younger boy toward a senior. Two scans of the gym scene and a scan of the Sweat Room.
10/18/08
From Oct 20 to 31 at the La Palazzina communication and audiovisual center city of Imola (BO) via Quaini 14 in Italy there will be an art exhibition in tribute to the 40th anniversary of the film by Antonella Amaretti. Admission is free.
The film is playing at the Renoir Cinema in London on May 25, 2008
The Lindsay Anderson Memorial Foundation is
pleased to announce a special tribute event to Lindsay Anderson to take place on
Saturday 5/21/05 in Southend-on-Sea in Essex.
The LAMF has teamed up with the Leigh Film Society and South
East Essex College to arrange an exciting one-off afternoon event which will
include if.... the short O Dreamland and the documentary Is That All There Is?
There will also be a panel discussion and Q&A with members of the Lindsay
Anderson Memorial Foundation which will be chaired by Paul Ryan editor of
Anderson's Collected Writings and a guest appearance by the actor David Wood
(Knightly in if....).
The college is next to Southend Central station which is on a
direct line just fifty minutes from Fenchurch Street. We'll keep you updated as
more information comes in. We hope to see you all there!
Film played 7/25/04 at 6:30 p.m., American Museum of the Moving Image, 35th Avenue at 36th Street. 718-784-0077.
BBC 4 Saturday June 12th at 7.10pm - Cast and Crew: Kirsty Wark talks to the cast of Lindsay Anderson's 1960s drama if....
A DVD release with Malcolm's and David Sherwin's separate commentaries is coming...
Camera Journal - Cambridge University Film Quarterly No.1 Winter 2002
Camera
Journal #1 w/if.... cover
Features:
David Sherwin On Lindsay Anderson: An in-depth and exclusive article by the
writer of if...., O Lucky Man! and Britannia Hospital.
The if.... Photo Gallery: Twenty full page photographs from Anderson and
Sherwin's great film.
To order from the nice bloke visit www.camerajournal.com
and also ask about issue 2 with a large Malcolm interview. You can read highlights
here.
Written by David Sherwin in 1960, his script was called "The Crusaders". After that it was called "Come The Revolution", then "if" before Lindsay added the four dots to make it "epic" sounding.
Lindsay Anderson made $187,804 from the film.
It was shot in standard, so 4.3 is more or less right, therefore there is no widescreen version.
Released on 12/18/68 in the UK, 3/9/69 in the US. It was re-released in Britain in 1970 and 1974. 111 minutes, rated R. Film length is 10,005 feet.
After if.... Rupert Webster never acted again in a major movie, preferring a musical career.
After O Lucky Man! Christine Noonan never acted again.
There were pictures taken of Malcolm wearing a leather coat and yellow sunglasses in between filming that were used for publicity as if it appeared in the film. See the picture section for a scan.
From the Brideshead Revisited DVD director's notes: "....I immediately cast Mona Washbourne, with whom I had worked as an actor on Lindsay Anderson's film if...."
The photos in Mick's room were not saved after filming, but they should be traceable to picture post and Sunday newspaper supplements from the time.
#12 on the BFI top 100 UK films.
The motorcycle is 1968 BSA A65L Lightning 654cc parallel twin with Amal Concentric Bowl carbs. There is a 1968 Triumph T120R parked in front and behind it is 1968 650cc BSA A65 Spitfire MKIV in the shop.
Preproduction
Mick on the spiral staircase 1
Behind the scenes
Still from the set as Malcolm makes his entrance
Malcolm and Christine Noonan looking at each other smiling
Malcolm and Christine Noonan looking together
Malcolm sitting and waiting for a scene wearing yellow sunglasses
Malcolm in leather jacket with yellow sunglasses wallpaper
Mick Travis
UK
Pop Art
Malcolm behind the scenes in leather jacket with yellow sunglasses
7/69 - Malcolm in Seventeen
Magazine
Mick and The Girl on the school roof with guns
Mick on the motorcycle
Mick sitting in chair (used on re-release poster)
Mick hiding his mustache
Mick at the end of a fencing blade
Mick holding a magazine
Malcolm
reenacting the end scene in if.... 2006
Filming Locations
Cheltenham College in 2004
Across
from the Packhorse Cafe 1968
Across from the Packhorse Cafe 2/09
The Girl
Exclusive
color publicity shot
Her
first shot noticing the boys
Waving to Mick from her window
Lindsay Anderson
Lindsay and David
Sherwin on the set
Lindsay showing Malcolm how to hold a bayonet
Lindsay and Malcolm on the school set
Claudia Cardinale presenting Lindsay with the Golden Palm at the 1969 Cannes
film festival
Memorabilia
Vanguard #8 - Journal of the Schools Action Union 1969
VHS Cover - Front
VHS Cover - Back
Re-release 1
Sheet Movie Poster 2002
Camera Journal #1 w/if....
cover
Prefect Badge given out at the 2002 premiere
Postcard with re-release poster art
Re-release Movie Program
Cover
Page 1 - Credits
Page 2 - Peanuts Screaming
Page 3 - Malcolm's Letter Part 1
Page 4 - Malcolm's Letter Part 2
Rupert Webster
Then
Philips in the Gym scene
Philips sitting at his desk
Now
Rupert autographed album 1997
Rupert playing guitar live 1999
CD Cover Front - don't let the blues...(Rupert is on the far right)
CD Cover Back - don't let the blues...
Eton killers reunited
Skye Sherwin, Wed 3/10/04, The Guardian
A Friday night in Eton. If you watch carefully, an
occasional escapee from its famous boys' school can be glimpsed on the streets
in arcane black-tailed regalia. Outside the upmarket wine bars and old-world
pubs, all is quiet. But at the school, something remarkable is taking place. In
the drama studio, MNF House are staging their yearly play: an adaptation of the
radical 1960s film if....
I am here as my father's emissary. He wrote the first draft of Crusaders, the
script that became if...., when he was 18, the same age as many of tonight's
performers. When the film screened in 1969, honed by years of work with the
director Lindsay Anderson, it was a genuine call to arms. Its parable of
public-schoolboy rebels, who end the prefects' stifling regime by massacring
them with machine guns, was a trailblazing vision intended to shake up an
outdated British film industry. At the same time, if.... reflected a time of
rapid social change. The world outside was ablaze with student riots: the
movie's star, Malcolm McDowell, let bullets fly from the school roof; in real
life, French students fired guns from the roof of the Sorbonne.
Tonight's production, beautifully staged by silver-spooned,
whippet-hipped young things who might well be the future heads of state, is
toned down to a sweet school satire. There is no sense that their words are a
metaphor for society at large. The play's focus here isn't the rebels but the
minor, less incendiary character of the new boy, Jute. Still, some of the more risque
material remains. Top marks must be given to the lone young lady roped in to
perform the infamous "I'm a tiger" scene. Brave just doesn't cover it.
That if.... has been appropriated by Eton College, the
epitome of the English public school system that the film explodes, says it all
for the anarchic 1960s rule breakers. The irony is simply too perfect. This year
marks the 10th anniversary of Anderson's death, and I would rather imagine the
director - whose credo was "Only three things are real: God, human folly
and laughter" - roaring his head off in heaven, than spinning in his grave.
This was the first premiere that if.... ever received and it took place in London. Since I am in the US and couldn't attend I talked to Paul who was there. After the questions is Paul's article.
Was Malcolm at the premiere?
Paul: Malcolm didn't attend but sent along a piece to be read out by David Sherwin.
Did he say why he couldn't attend?
P: Malcolm was in London the week after the premier, passing through on personal business. It was a trip that was planned in advance of the if.... premier, which explains why he didn't fly into London twice in one week.
Did you take any pics?
P: No, but a 'class reunion' photograph was taken by the BFI photographer (with Sherwin, David Wood, Rupert, Michael Medwin, Jocelyn Herbert and a few others.) Rupert Webster is alive and well and attended the screening with his mother (he's coming to spend a day with me in Cambridge to see the sights and to work on a piece he'll be writing for Camera Two).
Is he writing about if....?
P: He certainly is.
What else went on?
P: Sherwin wrote a good piece for the gala program (a gorgeous 16-page booklet available only at the premier). Everyone was given an if.... beautiful enamel prefects badge, which will become a collector's item. Sherwin also gave a speech which was brilliant.
Anything else?
P: There was also an if.... promo postcard. You'll be pleased to know it has the words "Starring Malcolm McDowell' emblazoned at the top. David said that the reason Malcolm didn't come was that "he lives 8,000 miles away". Malcolm did promote the Trilogy when it was screened at The Egyptian Theatre, Hollywood last year, and spent a few days doing Q&A session with audiences. David's speech was mostly improvised on the spot (hastily so after meeting Rupert, because he was going to 'remember' him in a bit about the dead.)
The if.... Gala Screening
Thursday, 21st February, 2002
Curzon Soho, London by Paul Sutton
The British Film Institute and the management consultant,
Accenture, co-hosted the launch of a new print of Lindsay Anderson's
masterpiece, if...., and they got it exactly right. Cajun chicken, mushroom vol-au-vents,
and ample supplies of red and white wines were served to invited guests,
foremost among them, the author David Sherwin, the producer Michael Medwin, the
designer Jocelyn Herbert, and two of The Crusaders, David Wood and Rupert
Webster.
Rupert's attendance was a real and welcome surprise because everyone
thought he was dead; a death reported by no less an authority than Lindsay
Anderson himself who, in David Sherwin's wonderful book, Going Mad in
Hollywood, is quoted as saying: Bobby Phillips (Rupert Webster) was murdered
some time ago on the New York subway.
I don't know why Lindsay thought I was dead, said Rupert. I talked
to him about six months before he died.
Class reunion photographs of the assembled cast and crew were taken in front
of a backdrop of the magnificent re-release poster, an into-the-lens portrait of
Malcolm McDowell looking thoughtful and alluringly dangerous.
Before the screening, in a masterstroke of marketing, everyone was given an
if.... prefect badge - lovely enameled mementos - and a beautifully
designed sixteen-page program.
David Sherwin warmed the crowd with a fine speech. He pointed out that this
was the actual premier of if....: Thirty-five years ago, if.... didn't have
a premiere. It had won the main prize at Cannes, but Paramount hated it and
wouldn't release it. But they had an expensive flop in Jane Fonda (Barbarella)
and, because the new Chuck Heston film wouldn't be ready for another week, and
they didn't think it would do any harm, if.... was put into the Paramount
Theatre. Within days there were queues round the block...
He talked of the amusing parallels the evening had with a scene he had
written for if.... 2, in which the cast and crew gather for a Gala
screening of if.... In the audience is the Queen Mother (inspired by her
marvelous performance in Britannia Hospital). After the screening, she
knights
The Crusaders on stage, and slices off David Sherwin's head.
He read out a letter sent by Malcolm McDowell, much loved and much missed:
I look back and remember the brilliance of Lindsay Anderson, and Jocelyn
Herbert, and Miroslav Ondricek, and I feel so lucky to have worked with such
great artists...
Then the film was screened and, unless you saw it within weeks of its first
release, you have never seen it looking as good as this. I was startled at once
by the palette of color, and the richness of Jocelyn Herbert's design. Never
before had I noticed that the school colors, as seen on the boys'
scarves and rugby shirts, were red, white and blue - the colors of The Union
Jack. For the first time I noticed the brightly colored beakers artfully laid
out above the wash stands in the bedrooms; the patterns on the prefect's
waistcoats, the yellow silk of Travis's pajamas, the school's chromatic
Victorian brickwork, the blueness of Malcolm McDowell's eyes.
The image throughout is so clean that we can study the collages on the study
walls: mostly women for The Crusaders; soldiers for Denson, oarsmen and horsemen
for Fortinbras.
But strangely, the print cleaned and screened was not Anderson's cut. It
was the film as trimmed by the censors. Anderson's cut was screened in
Leicester in March, 1998. It plays often on German TV.
"Of course, when we were making it, we had no idea what it was about. It wasn't until we went to a press screening in London that we realized. At the end there was total silence. Then everyone applauded. We were all thinking: 'Wow! That's different.'" Steve "Plugger" Goodwin, an extra - Guardian 5/27/08
"Everyone thought that Lindsay Anderson was the cat's pajamas. But I didn't want Aldenham to come into disrepute. Anderson had been at Cheltenham. He said to me: 'I was at a public school, I am not going to knock the public schools, am I?' But being a suspicious character, I asked him if there was anything more he could do to convince me. So he said: 'I'll send you the script.' It was a very short script, only about ten or 12 pages. And, of course, there was nothing offensive in it. Where there was a violent or sexy scene it simply said: 'He fantasizes,' or 'He daydreams.' So I said: 'All right, go ahead. I was a useful idiot, I suppose. My wife Felicity and I went to see the film and laughed ourselves silly. It was a marvelous film. Very funny; quite cogent. But the result for the school was disastrous. After 1968 everything changed. There was suddenly this terrible hatred." He insists that at no point, as rumor had it, he feared an If-type rebellion was about to break out. "Lord, no! That's ridiculous," he says. "I thought that there would be an awful lot of trouble. But I don't think anyone was planning to shoot me." 5/27/08
Paul Griffin described the blowback from the "brilliant and destructive film" that he had allowed to be made at the school. "Our boys, seeing themselves in what seemed to them romantic circumstances, enthusiastically transformed themselves into images of the heroes of the film. It would be stupid to pretend that no other factors entered in but If...was a powerful focus." 70s
"if... is probably the best film I made and after it Lindsay said, 'Well, Malcolm, it's downhill from here.' I told him I was young and would do much better work. 'I doubt it,' he said. Maybe he was right. Who knows? I didn't have time to be disappointed. When you're living through those things you think it's all going to continue, but very soon afterwards the British film industry collapsed. Lindsay Anderson was too good." - Malcolm Radio Times interview 2/96
"I didn't realize that things couldn't get much bigger for me than they did when if... was released. I couldn't believe that any film would be more important to me than that. I couldn't imagine things getting any better for me. I would go down to the theatres in London and there would be lines a half-mile long of people waiting to see a movie I was in. People would see me on the streets and freak out. I had gone from being this completely anonymous rep actor to somebody who was this symbol for something very important to a lot people. I literally thought that if... was going be the pinnacle of my career. But then Clockwork Orange came along and made if... look like a minor success by comparison." - Malcolm in Starburst 7/95
'It was straight from my school. The horror of the beating. I can still smell the bleach they used to clean the concrete floors and the lino in my schoolhouse, the biggest and the most horrible in Tonbridge'. - David Sherwin 1969
From when the film first came out.
"Go - for the fury force and fun of if.... A movie so brilliant, so
special that it is dangerous to write about if.... I'll be talking about if....
forever." - Look
"Angry Tough and Full of Sting." - Life
"A picture you must see this year is if.... A profound film with
enormous power. If we get even one film to equal it, we will be lucky." -
Ladies Home Journal
"Let it suffice to say that if.... is a masterpiece, reason enough to
rank Anderson among cinema's major artists." - Playboy
"The most interesting film so far this year. if.... is a brilliant and
disturbing film." - Vogue
"If you're young you will really dig if.... If you're not so young, it's
more reason than ever to see what it is all about." - Cosmopolitan
"It is such an interesting movie. A brilliant and solidly constructed
satire." - N.Y. Times
"if.... is an exciting miracle." - N.Y. News
Click here for the if.... 2 page.
The
Santcus
Even to the knife!
Excuse me, do you mind not picking
your shag-spots in here?
Blood! Real Blood!
Death to the oppressor!
The thing I hate about you,
Rowntree, is the way you give Coca-Cola to your scum, and your best teddy bear
to Oxfam and expect us to lick your pretty fingers for the rest of your frigid
life.
One man can change the world - with
a bullet in the right place.
The opening organ voluntary is by Buxtehude.
>The Sanctus is on "Cinema Choral Classics Volume 2"on
Silva Screen Records (UK) 1998
There was never a release of the soundtrack for the film. instead a 45rpm record with Sanctus/Gloria was released. Below is the listing and liner notes from the original Missa Luba album they was taken from.
Side One
1. Dibwe Diambula Kabanda
2. Lutuku Y A bene Kanyoka
3. Ebu bwale Kemai
4. Katumbo
5. Seya Wa Mama Ndalamba
6. Banana
7. Twai Tshinaminai
Side Two:
1. Kyrie
2. Gloria
3. Credo
4. Sanctus
5. Benedictus
6. Agnus Dei
Notes
'Missa Luba is pure Congolese. It is completely void of any modern, western musical influences. The 'Kyrie, Gloria' and 'Credo' are performed within the same framework as a kasala, which is existent today among the Ngandanjika (Kasai). The 'sanctus' and 'Gloria' are fashioned somewhat after the feeling of a wonderful 'song of Farewell' in Kiluba. An authentic dance rhythm of the Kasai is the basis of the 'Hoseanna', while the 'Agnus Dei' is based on a song of Bena Lulua (Luluabourg). Most remarkable is the fact that none of the Missa Luba is written. Certain rhythms, harmonies and embellishments are spontaneous improvisations. Father Guido Haazen, a Belgian priest, recognizing the value to be gained from the retention of this music form, assigned himself the task of restoring it to health. He formed Les Troubadours du Roi Baudouin, a choir, with percussion section, consisting of about 45 boys from 9 to 14 years old, and 15 teachers from the Kamina School. In 1958, the Choir made a six months European Tour, performing to receptive audiences in Belgium, Holland and Germany. '
Lindsay Anderson's 1980s letter to Paul Sutton - 'No, the alligator in if.... wasn't a tribute to Flaherty, I'm afraid. I wasn't thinking of Louisiana Story, but it's a nice idea. I've never seen White Shadows, though I know about it. It hasn't been much revived, but I'd very like very much to see it. Flaherty is certainly one of the great names in cinema. I think the alligator and the stuffed bird and the jars of dead babies WERE actually found in the school storeroom, and permission was granted to burn them.'
Malcolm walked into a Paris cafe not long after his motion picture debut if.... opened and 300 people stood up and applauded. "I looked behind me and thought, 'Who the hell are they applauding?' Then I realized it was me!" - Malcolm in Starburst 7/95
Stephen Frears told a very interesting tale about the premiere of if... in 1968. Apparently after the screening there was rapturous applause and copious congratulations from the assembled critiques, but Lindsay was having none of it - he abruptly cut the applause short and took to the microphone and said, "The rest is up to you..."
From a 1972 Interview:
He worked for a while as a messenger, began getting television roles, and
Lindsay Anderson, who'd seen him on the tube, called about a picture he was
planning, set in a British public school.
TV Guide 1996:
His first big screen role was 1967's "Poor Cow". Even though his
scenes were deleted, his portrayal of Billy gained him notice by director
Lindsay Anderson.
Malcolm 1996:
"I went to see Lindsay for the audition. I
suppose I impressed him. Frankly, I think I sort of had the look he wanted. I
sort of had the right attitude. We got on very well." McDowell was called
back for a second audition, which he says went amazingly well. He received the
news that he landed the movie role as the curtain was coming down on the New
Yeas Eve 1967 performance of Twelfth Night at the Royal Court.
David Sherwin, writer 1996:
In the book "Going Mad in Hollywood", section "The Best Audition
in the World" 1/5/68. It was an audition held at the Jimmy Edwards comedy
playhouse in London. It seems that Malcolm and Christine Noonan just started
grappling with each other right there on the stage out of the blue and David
Sherwin jumped up and said "I wouldn't bother going on with the audition.
You've got Mick and the girl." To which Lindsay replied, "Oh you
wouldn't would you? That's a brilliant way to cast a film. Piss off!" David
repeats, "They're brilliant!" So Lindsay says, "Well then fucking
well tell them. Their names are Malcolm McDowell and Christine Noonan." And
the rest was history.
Malcolm 2001:
"The script said, 'Mick reaches over, grabs hold of the girl and
passionately kisses her on the lips.' I thought, well, I'll not shirk my duty. I
reached over, grabbed her, our teeth hit, and her lip started bleeding. As I
came away, she slapped me so hard that tears came to my eyes...I always
think it was because of that slap that I actually was cast and went
on to have a movie career. It was a Zen moment in my life."
This incredible film takes a look at a British boarding school and three unruly seniors who fail to conform. If.... is an amazing blend of fact and fantasy with features a young Malcolm McDowell in his first film. The students at College House are kept in line by tradition, strict discipline, and prefects. Director Lindsay Anderson is careful to document the repressive conditions and the painfulness of rebellion as he builds to his surreal and violent ending when the students have their day. It is a marvelously funny movie, but it's also profoundly disturbing and deep.
The film opens with the sounds of boys singing the college song. Then a title card reads, "Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom; and with all thy getting, get understanding. - Proverbs IV: 7" Then a shot of the school where the film will take place. Underneath it the credits roll as the sounds of boys running, talking and laughing are heard.
1 - College House...Return
Many boys are seen returning to school from
the summer. They are all in College House, which is one of five houses in the public school called Cheltenham
College. This is the only house focused on in the film. The boys are all wearing
prep uniforms and running about through the
halls and up the stairs. Rowntree, who is the head whip (the highest ranking
student), yells out to
run in the corridor as he wants them to get moving. A young boy, Jute, makes his
way up to the notice board and asks an older boy, Stephans, if his name is on
there because he can't see it. Stephens tells him not to speak to him and isn't
he scum? Jute doesn't know and is pushed away. Rowntree gives
the scum call and all they all come running. He picks two of them to carry
his golf clubs and belongings to his room and the other to warm a toilet seat
for him. Everyone else has left except for Jute who is still lost. Rowntree
calls to Brunning down the hall to come back and take Jute under his wing and
show him the ropes.
Brunning takes him to the Sweat Room, which is where all the
juniors go to study, eat and work. A couple of boys are wrestling as they pass and
Brunning takes Jute to his desk and tells him where he can put his things.
Machen steps up to a podium and gives them a list of rules. One boy is shown
unwrapping food and putting it away.
Bobby Phillips is carrying things downstairs and passes two
other boys going up. The boys make flirtations toward him and he ignores them.
Denson who is another whip comes by and tells the boys to go away and
behave, but also reprimands Phillips. Phillips leaves as Mick sneaks by with a
large suitcase on one shoulder. He is in all black - a long coat, hat and scarf
around his face so that only his eyes can be seen.
Stephans is the same age as the other boys in his dorm, but
is in charge. Therefore all the guys, especially Mick, hate his guts. He is
barking orders when Mick enters and all the boys notice him and some say hello.
Mick goes over to his bunk and starts to unpack his stuff. Wallace and Johnny,
Mick's best friends, are giving Stephans a hard time. Peanuts, the science nerd,
shines a
light in Stephans face with a mirror from his telescope. Stephans is so ignorant
that he doesn't know what it is, calling it a ray gun. Johnny hands Mick a
magazine and he sits down to read it. Stephans tells him to take his hat and
scarf off and Mick ignores him. He pulls at the scarf and Mick gets away. He
grabs his trunk tray and runs off as others try to catch him. He bumps into
Denson on the way down and says his first words, "Sorry, Denson."
He runs into his study and takes his hat and scarf off
revealing a long, thin mustache. He starts to shave it when Johnny climbs over
the wall from an adjacent study to see what he is doing. He tells him he looks
ugly and evil, then asks him why he grew it. Mick tells him to "hide his
sins".
Mick lathers up and continues shaving as Johnny looks through his things and
picks up a magazine. Johnny holds up a full page picture of a black soldier with
a machine gun and asks Mick what he thinks. Mick thinks it looks fantastic and
tells him to hang it up in the middle of the wall, which he does. Johnny tells
him he spent his summer by building a hut in the woods and lived in it for
three weeks by himself. Mick tells him he met a girl and went around to the pubs
with her. After she introduced him to her parents they practically had them
married off.
A bell is heard and all the boys have to head off to the
dining hall for medical inspections. Mr. Kemp, the housemaster, gives them a
speech before the inspections. He tells them to work and play, but not to mix
them and that they are a family - which means there will be good and bad times.
He also introduces the new teacher and undermaster Mr. Thomas and then Rowntree speaks to
them. He tells them that last term they let the school down and things had
better change. The boys then line up and Denson and Fortinbras, another whip, ask them all the
same questions - if they have ringworm, eye disease, V.D. or confirmation class.
Then they take their pants down and Mrs. Kemp, the school nurse examines them.
In the senior dorm the boys are washing up at basins in the
middle of the room and Mick is leading the others in singing a blasphemous
religious song when Stephans comes in and tells them to be quiet. As Fisher
takes off his shirt, Keating grabs him and yells for everyone to look at the
disgusting fat boy and then they pile on him on a bed. Stephans tries again to
take charge and Mick and Johnny tell him off, then Mick hits him in the back of
the head with a sponge.
Denson and Barnes are going down the hall shouting dormitory
inspection in three minutes. For the first time the film changes from color to black and
white as Mrs. Kemp leads Mr. Thomas up to the top floor to his room. She
explains that the central heating doesn't go up there, but that the room is warm
enough, bare and quiet and if he gets lonely he can come down to see them.
The inspection starts and the film returns to color. In the
junior dorm Jute is
reprimanded for having his diary with him, but otherwise everything looks good.
Then the inspection goes to Mick's room. Everything is initially OK, until
Denson tells Mick he needs to cut his hair. Rowntree tells Stephens he has done
very good and that lights out is in 30 seconds and leaves. After he leaves Mick
starts clapping and mocking Stephans that he did "Jolly, jolly good."
Soon Wallace and Johnny join in with the clapping and taunting. Stephans tells
them to shut up and Johnny and Wallace warn him the day is coming when they'll
kill him in his sleep. The call for lights out comes and the entire school goes
dark. A few boys in Mick's room start talking about Buddhism, sex and Hindus and
then they fade out.
2 - College
The entire student body is heard singing and
are shown at mass. Afterwards we see the headmaster exiting into an open
courtyard. He talks to Rowntree and his staff about things including a class he
has decided to teach.
Mick is in history class with many other students. Graves is
telling the others that girls aren't allowed in the orchestra anymore since
their breasts are too big. The teacher, Mr. Stewart, enters the classroom on a
bicycle, singing a song. He hands out the essays he graded while they were away,
except for Mick's, whom he lost in the tunnel on the way home. Mr. Stewart
starts teaching and asks questions, but no one seems to know the answers. After
a few minutes he gives up and gives them a 20 minute essay on King George III.
Meanwhile the Chaplain is teaching geometry to the younger
students. At one point he smacks Brunning in the head and leans over Jute,
sticks his hand in his shirt and grabs his nipple.
Below in the courtyard the headmaster is talking to Rowntree
and the other seniors. He is telling them about college when a platoon of
students come around the corner in full military garb. It is only then to we
realize it is a military prep school. They march by and the headmaster continues
his speech.
In the Sweat Room, Brunning and Markland are quizzing Jute.
Rowntree gives all the new meat a test where they have to learn all the slang
terms for things at the school. Jute is nervous and is not doing to well.
Brunning is not happy because if Jute fails they all get beaten and Jute has to
take the test over again.
That night Mick is alone in his study. He is in bed with a
record playing the "Sanctus" while he cuts out pictures to hang on the
wall. At one point he stops, starts the record over and turns up the volume.
In the gym Keating, Graves, Brunning and Willens are chasing
Biles around. When they finally catch him they haul him into the bathroom.
Wallace is on the first toilet, pants down, playing the guitar. They pass him by and
take him into a stall, take his pants off and tie him upside-down with his
belt. They are shouting and carrying on as they do this and put Biles' head in
the toilet and flush a few times. Eventually they stop and leave him hanging
there half naked and upside-down. Wallace finishes up and puts on his jacket and
heads over to the stall to see what happened and finds Biles there. He helps him
out by untying him and getting him down.
Meanwhile in the chapel all of the new students are being
taught the school song. Stephans is seen at the far end of the chapel with the
Chaplain. He is confessing his sins, telling him he is having dirty thoughts and
cannot control them. The chaplain is no help at all and only tells him to
"Fight the good fight."
3 - Term Time
The young boys are out with Mr. Thomas
playing rugger. Once again we see Jute trying to fit in. At one point Mr. Thomas
grabs the ball to show them how it is done and all the boys give chase.
That night we see the matron distributing the laundry in
Mick's dorm. Machen is helping her and she tells him it is going to be a white
Christmas.
The whips are in their room and Phillips is toasting muffins
in the fire. Phillips is Rowntree's scum, almost like a slave. He then gets up
and offers one to Rowntree. Rowntree is not happy because he wanted a crumpet.
Phillips explains that he couldn't get any and Rowntree angrily sends him away.
Fortinbras comments on Phillips beauty and Rowntree tells him that he is lazy.
Barnes also fancies Phillips and Fortinbras tells them that another school has
offered a scum trade - Phillips for Taylor. He explains that Taylor is a sweet
little blond. Denson hears this and has had enough. He thinks it is disgusting
how they dabble in homosexuality. They are the school leaders and are supposed to be
setting an example. Rowntree thinks Denson is being all high and mighty and
decides to tempt him. He calls out for Phillips to return.
Switch to black and white in the Boot Room. Brunning, Jute,
Machin, Biles and Phillips are there cooking sausages, eggs and bacon. There is
talk and laughter. They just start to eat when a boy comes in and tells Phillips
that Rowntree wants him. Phillips gets up to leave and it switches back to color.
Phillips straightens up and knocks on the door. Rowntree
tells him to come in and has him stand there to entice Denson, who says
nothing. Rowntree tells Phillips he'll be scumming for Denson from now on.
Denson is embarrassed, but again says nothing as he tries to ignore them all while
reading the paper.
Mick, Wallace and Johnny are just sitting around in Johnny's
study. Johnny reads to Mick from a woman's magazine and Mick is drinking some
vodka from a bottle which he passes around. Wallace is fussing over himself - first thinking
he is going bald, then that he has bad breath. Mick talks of war and revolution.
Johnny holds up a picture of a naked girl and Mick kisses it. Wallace takes it
and licks it. Just then Mick hears Denson approaching. They hide the vodka and try to act casual. Denson enters and knows they've been drinking, but
they won't budge. He tells them to stand up which they reluctantly do. He then
explains to them that all of their hair is too long and that they'll have to take a
two minute cold shower in the morning. Denson then asks Mick what his necklace
of teeth is and Mick tells him they are for good luck. Denson says there is
still blood on them and they are a breeding ground for bacteria and confiscates
them.
The next morning Phillips comes into Denson's bedroom and he
awakes when he does. The room is a stark contrast to a room like Micks' - it is
all prim and proper. Phillips has a shaving bowl and sits down, lathers Denson's
face and proceeds to shave him. Denson says nothing, but we can tell he feels
awkward about it.
Later in the Shower Room there are many boys taking turns
entering the showers and making noise. Mick and Wallace lean against a sink near
the last shower stall wearing only towels around their waists. Johnny is in the last stall under the cold shower. Denson
is in a private tub with a watch timing him. He tells Johnny his time is up and
tells Wallace to go in. Phillips comes over to him with a tea tray and serves
him. Graves and Keating take their showers and then Denson calls for Wallace to
get out and Mick to get in. He stands there and Denson tells Mick he wants him to
stand in the middle. After a bit he starts shivering and turns to Denson and
calls him a bastard telling him his time is up. Phillips has given Denson a
bathrobe to put on and as he exits tells Mick to stay there until he gets back.
4 - Ritual and Romance
The boys can be heard singing in the chapel.
When they are finished Rowntree instructs them by reading from the Bible. Mick
is not impressed and most others look bored, especially Mr. Stewart.
Switch to black and white with Barnes coaching the juniors in
the gym. He has them going over a vault one-by-one. Everyone goes over except
for the last boy - Jute. He finally goes for it and gets stuck on top and Barnes
is forced to pull him over. He tells them to put their sweaters on as they head
back to the house. Phillips is out first in the gallery over the gym and sees
Wallace below. He is preparing himself to do some gymnastics on the high bar. As
he does Phillips stands watching him transfixed, because they are attracted to
each other. As the other boys start passing
him he stops staring and heads out with them.
Johnny is fencing down there and Wallace grabs a foil to join
him. Mick comes swinging in on a rope and joins them. The two team up to go
against Mick. Mick chants of war and England and is forced to jump on the wall
bars to evade them. He holds on with one hand, but loses his foil. He is forced
to climb higher to evade them. The shot returns to color as Wallace eventually
pins Mick to the wall. Johnny throws Mick his foil which he catches and duels
wildly. Mick escapes, but is driven into a corner. Mick breaks free again, but is once
more driven into a corner and again loses his foil. Wallace puts his foil to his
throat and Mick realizes he has cut his wrist and looks at it.
At dinner that night Mick gets a chair for Mrs. Kemp at the
head of the table and sits on her right. At the other end the boys get their
trays and line up for food served by the matron. Johnny, Wallace and Mick are
all sitting closest to Mrs. Kemp and start offering her things - water, salt,
ketchup, dead man's leg. She stares at them in a daze because she is sexually frustrated. She would like to
have sex with them, but knows it is wrong and they know
it to, which is why they egg her on. Rowntree stands up and reprimands
the group for not cheering loud enough at the rugby matches. He tells them they
all have to attend the rugby match the next day and cheer loudly.
The next day the boys are lined up on the sidelines of the
rugby match screaming loudly along
with the staff and their wives. The matron is cheering the craziest. Mick and
Johnny are handcuffed together and manage to escape unnoticed into town.
They pass gardeners and traffic and begin to stroll down the sidewalk passing
stores and looking in. At one point they stop and Mick pretends to attack Johnny
and they mock fight to the alarm of the passers by. Johnny eventually goes down
and Mick stands triumphantly.
They are next seen looking in the showroom of a motorcycle
shop. Mick is smoking and looking intently. He tosses his cigarette away and
enters. There is only one person in the shop - a salesman sitting at a desk on
the opposite end. Mick smiles at him and then jumps on a bike and starts it up.
The salesman looks up and Mick drives it into the garage in the back. Johnny and
the salesman chase after him. Mick turns around and Johnny climbs on back and
they speed out the front door with the salesman throwing his arms around and
shouting at them to stop.
They head out of town and into the country. After a while of
speedily traveling down country roads they stop at the Packhorse Cafe. As they
get off the bike to enter it switches to black and white. The cafe has many
tables, but is totally empty. Mick checks his hair in a mirror and goes over to
the counter and knocks on it. The Girl comes out of the back and looks at them.
She slowly walks over and asks what they want. Johnny tells her two coffees. She
asks black or white and Johnny says white, Mick says black. She goes over to
pour the cups and the boys are leaning over the counter to check out her legs
and short skirt. She slides the cups over to them and Mick grabs her, pulls her
close and kisses her hard. She breaks away and slaps him across the face. Mick
puts two big spoons of sugar in the coffee and walks away to a table. He puts
the coffee down and goes over to the jukebox. He picks a song, once again it is
the "Sanctus." He is facing the jukebox when the Girl comes up from behind and slides
her hand up his shoulder. She tells him to look at her and he does. She tells
him to look in her eyes and he does. She tells him that sometimes she looks in
the mirror and her eyes get bigger and she is like a tiger. Mick sniffs her
like an animal would and lashes out at her like he has claws. The Girl chases
him back and growls and jumps on him and they roll around on the floor. Mick
breaks free and she leaps on him. Then we see they are naked and she bites him on the
shoulder.
The Girl goes to sit at the table now fully dressed
again. Mick sits down as well and goes to his coffee for the first time and
makes a motion to her to play rock, paper, scissors. He picks scissors, she
picks rock, he picks paper, she picks scissors, he picks rock and she wraps
her hand around his and says paper. The "Sanctus" starts playing again.
The shot returns to color as the three of them are shown on
the bike circling around a field. Mick is driving and the Girl is standing on
the seat between him and Johnny with her hair blowing.
5 - Discipline
Rowntree inspects the boys working in the
Sweat Room at night. Switch to black and white as Denson inspects the grounds.
He comes across someone working under a car in the garage. It is Mr. Thomas, he
didn't realize how late it had gotten. Meanwhile Wallace and Phillips are in the
armory talking and smoking. Wallace then hears footsteps on the gravel and sends
Phillips out the back door before Denson finds him. Denson asks what he is doing
and who was with him, but Wallace says he was alone. Denson knows he is lying,
but can't prove anything.
Later on Wallace, Johnny and Mick are in Mick's room. Mick
has a bag over his head suffocating himself. After three breaths he takes the
bag off and Johnny asks him how it felt and he tells him it was like drowning.
They then talk about the worst ways to die and when Mick says to have a nail
banged through the back of your neck slowly - everyone starts to laugh
uncontrollably.
The Whips are eating with Mr. Kemp in his private dining
room. Rowntree is telling him that there is a discipline problem and examples
are going to have to be made. Mr. Kemp says the headmaster doesn't like too many
beatings and Rowntree tells him it is better than the house getting a reputation
for decadence. Mr. Kemp tells them to do what he thinks best and they
leave.
The boys are heard singing as we cut to the dining room.
Everyone is there and Rowntree announces that as soon as they are done eating
that the juniors are to go to the Sweat Room and the Seniors to their studies
and are to wait in silence.
The juniors are shown going to their desks furiously
wondering what is going on and Peanuts is shown in his study with all kinds of
astronomy garb. Off camera we hear Rowntree shouting, "Travis! Wallace!
Knightly!"
The trio is shown walking down the corridor to the Whips room
where they are all waiting for them. They knock and are let in. Rowntree asks
them if they know why they are and Mick says no. Rowntree tells them it is for being a
nuisance and having bad attitudes and that they are going to beat them for it.
Denson then yells at them for not standing properly, slouching around and tells
them they have become a danger to the morale of the whole house and everything
is a joke to them. Mick mocks him and the others step forward labeling them.
Rowntree asks them if they have anything to say and Mick does. He mocks the way
he acts and calls him frigid and that his whole life he will be frigid. Rowntree
doesn't respond, he just tells them to go down to the gym and wait outside.
They head down the hallway, into the gym and wait there,
saying nothing. The Whips eventually pass them by and close the double doors to
the gym. The shot doesn't change, it shows the view from outside as Wallace is
called in. We can hear running footsteps and then a whip crack down. This
repeats four times. Rowntree tells him to get up and he comes through the door
grinning because he is happy that it was only four times. Johnny is called in and he
takes of his jacket and hands it to Mick. Mick peeks through the door to watch
him get hit and sees a low shot. Wallace takes his pants off and asks Mick to
see if there is any blood and Mick tells him there is. Then Johnny gets his
fourth shot and Mick knows it is his turn and eagerly heads toward it, opening
both doors at once as when finally see the shot change to the inside of the gym. The
Whips are standing near the door and on the opposite side is a long bar.
Rowntree tells him to take of his coat, head over to the bar and bend over. He
does all this with the look of someone without a care in the world. Rowntree
hits him once, walks back and then runs over and hits him again.
The Sweat Room is right underneath the gym and the boys are
looking up in silence wondering why it is happening. They can hear every
footstep and every crack of the whip on Mick. We see them react to the third and
fourth hits.
After the fourth time Mick grabs his coat and starts to get
up. Rowntree yells at him to get back down until he is told. Wallace and Johnny
are puzzled as to why Mick hasn't come back out and they hear Rowntree hitting
him a fifth time. He is hitting him hard enough to move the entire bar and we
can see Mick is in pain.
The shot goes to Peanuts looking at something under a
microscope and he can hear the whip cracking in the distance. He is
unphased. After ten lashings Rowntree tells Mick to get up. He does slowly and
tries to hide his tears by quickly wiping them away. He walks over to the Whips and Rowntree has
his hand out. Mick shakes it, thanks him and exits.
6 - Resistance
In the Library Fortinbras is reading in Latin
from Plato's Republic for his history class. The Classics Master asks him to
translate which he does. He gets the passage right until one word at the end
which trips him up. No one else knows it either and the Master has Rowntree look
it up.
Cut to Mick sitting on his couch smoking a cigarette and
shooting an air gun. Obviously he is in a slow burn from the whipping. He
takes careful aim and shots at the pictures on his wall. He shoots a nude's
breast, an old bureaucrat, a dog, Audrey Hepburn, Mel Ferrer, a father, the butt
of another nude, a refugee, Big Ben, two glasses and a man in the carriage with
the queen.
Back to Rowntree who is now giving a speech to the juniors.
They have won the Bigley Memorial Marathon Chalice and there is much cheering over
this. He quiets them down as Jute brings in the chalice and hands it to Denson
and Barnes who hand it to Rowntree. He holds it up and calls for the house
thump. The boys start banging their fists and elbows on the table and shout
"College House" over and over.
Cut back to Mick in his study. Wallace and Johnny are now
there and Mick is again drinking from a vodka bottle. There isn't much left and
he pours a little into Wallace's mouth, then Johnny's and throws it aside. Mick
tells them they are on their own and the time will come soon. He goes into his
desk and takes out his straight razor. He cuts his palm and then theirs and they
make a blood pact to kill their oppressors. He goes to the window and reaches
for something on the ledge. He has real bullets hidden there and hands two to each of
them.
In Mr. Kemp's bedroom he is singing as Mrs. Kemp plays the
recorder in bed. In the Matron's room she is sitting in a rocking chair by a
fire. Change to black and white as we see the junior's dorm. We see them all
sleeping in their beds except for Phillips who is with Wallace. Peanuts is
looking at the stars with his telescope and Mick goes to see him. He tells him
there has to be other life out there somewhere and to have a look. Mick does,
but aims the telescope down to a window on a house where the Girl is brushing
her hair. She sees him and waves.
7 - Forth to War
In the chapel the Chaplain is speaking. He is
telling the boys what a soldier's duty is and that there is one betrayal which
cannot be forgiven - desertion. He tells them that Jesus is their commanding
officer and if they desert him they can expect no mercy - and they are all
deserters. Jute is in uniform in the audience and is staring at him.
Return to color as the Chaplain is on horseback leading the Cadet
Corps marching across the grass. More platoons enter and a marching band plays.
Back to black and white inside the house corridor. We see a
chair, then in the gym there are shots of clothes and a hockey stick on the floor. Then
Mrs. Kemp is seen walking naked down the corridor.
Return to color as we see the Chaplain leading the parade of troops
outside. Back to black and white as we see a still naked Mrs. Kemp now
walking through the senior's dorm. She walks slowly like she is in a daze looking and
touching a bar of soap and a towel.
Return to color in the woods. There is gunfire as the house
platoon is running. Denson is in command with Keating nearby carrying a wireless
set. Mick, Johnny and Wallace are in the back. Denson tells them their objective
is a tree. They are to attack and destroy it. Nobody moves. He tells them again
and Stephans pushes Johnny forward. They stay back as the trio goes out. Mick,
Johnny and Wallace are running along a fence when Mr. Thomas runs over. He is a
referee and blows his whistle and tells them to go on the other side through a
dense patch of thorns and thicket.
The Chaplain is on his horse surveying the battle. Cadets are
running, orders are shouted and the whistle blows again. Cadets are now ordered to
move single file. Mick, Johnny and Wallace are still struggling through
the undergrowth as cadets go by single file and shots ring out. Mick falls and
takes the Bren gun from Wallace and climbs through a hole in the fence. Denson
and Stephans are now coming up from behind.
Mick, Johnny and Wallace finally scramble out and wearily
collapse into some grass. A loud yell is heard and they all look up in surprise.
Peanuts is yelling and leading the juniors in a bayonet charge down the hill.
When they get to the bottom he tells them they were awful because they forgot
their yell - the yell of hate. He yells again and tell them to follow him. They
all charge down the hill screaming.
Mick, Johnny and Wallace trundle off single file and you can
tell they really don't care at this point. An explosion goes off nearby and they
stop. They look around and there is a group leading a charge on a some huts.
Smoke is pouring out of the nearest one as cadets run and fire from all sides.
Fire comes from inside the hut and some cadets go down.
Mick, Johnny and Wallace start moving when another whistle
sounds. Mr. Thomas yells at them to stop and get down. He lights a firework and
throws it at them and it explodes near Wallace's feet. They look at it and
reluctantly fall to the ground. Mr. Thomas is all happy saying they are all
dead and he has won. The Chaplain see this, is not happy about it and then rides
off. The battle is now over and the Chaplain calls it off by blowing the whistle.
Mick looks at him with hatred. The Chaplain calls Denson and his group in. He
finds Jute and heads over to the giant tea dispenser on the back of a truck with
him. He begins pouring a cup for Biles and the other boys on line when a bullet
rips through the dispenser and tea shoots out.
Mr. Thomas hits the deck and the Chaplain yells for everyone
to take cover as more bullets come flying in. Someone turns over a table as more
cadets go down low. The Chaplain yells out for whomever is out there to show
themselves. The shooting stops and the Chaplain marches over to the hill looking
for the shooters. Mick, Johnny and Wallace emerge from the brush and the
Chaplain heads over to them telling them to empty their rifles. He is in control
until Mick fires at him and he goes down. Now the Chaplain is curled up in a
fetal position on the ground and whimpering like a baby as Mick goes to bayonet
him.
Mick, Johnny and Wallace are now in the Headmasters' office.
He is not happy about their antics on the battlefield and demands they apologize to the Chaplain. He heads
over to a drawer on the wall and opens it. The Chaplain pops up from it and the
boys go over and shake his hand. Then the drawer is closed with him still
inside. Surprisingly
the Headmaster isn't really that mad at them.
He goes and sits at his desk and tells them he understands their need to rebel.
He explains that he has an open mind and feels this relates to the "hair
problem" about how boys today want to grow their hair long. He even feels some
of them are quite brave in spite of it all. He tells them that the cost of
enrollment breaks down to 15 guineas per week and that they are too smart to be
rebels and that it is too easy a path. Instead of punishing them he is going to
give them jobs, a chance to work and serve.
In the Main Hall Phillips is sitting on the stage reading a
book. Behind him a trap door is opened from the stage and Johnny comes out
wearing a gas mask and carrying a bust. He takes the mask off and tosses the
bust. Wallace then helps him pull out a large alligator prop and Phillips grabs
the tail and they haul it outside and toss it on a blazing bonfire.
Switch to black and white as we see what is happening under
the stage. There is a large storage room filled with old books, papers, desks,
stuffed animals, flags and other assorted junk. Mick is down there going through
stuff and hands an eagle to Johnny. Johnny then moves some frames and a
blackboard aside and finds a large cupboard behind them that is locked. He
motions to Mick and he grabs an axe and comes over. He smashes the lock open
with and opens the doors. The cupboard is filled with old glass jars that still hold
old biological specimens from experiments. One jar holds a human fetus and Mick
picks up. He looks at it and turns around and hands it to the Girl. She looks at
and then puts it back and closes the door.
Mick climbs up and finds a gap in the wall behind the
cupboard and climbs through. Everyone follows into another room back there that
is completely dark. Mick lights a match and the Girl finds a light switch. When
the light bulb comes on they all see that it is a long forgotten ammunition
room. Mick opens one crate up with a bayonet and finds bullets. Johnny, the Girl,
Wallace and Phillips all start opening crates and find mortars, bombs and
grenades - all live. They start working on distributing them.
8 - Crusaders
It is the day of the graduation ceremony and
General Denson arrives in his staff car. There are flags flying and honor guards
in armor. Rowntree and the Bishop are there to greet him. Biles, Jute and Machin
follow them into the hall with a crucifix. The hall is filled with visitors, parents
and students standing up singing the college song. On stage the
Headmaster is waiting for the general and the Bishop to take their seats. They
proceed up the aisle as the song is ending and take the stage. A Knight speaks
in Latin and the Headmaster answers and instructs everyone to sit.
He speaks about the history of the school and how important
it is. The history goes back 500 years and how change is coming so fast. He then
introduces the general. The general admits there probably isn't much he can
teach them, but is going to give it a shot anyway. He tells the boys how lucky
they are to be there and that they are privileged. He talks of freedom,
tradition, discipline and obedience. The women behind him hang on his every word. When he talks of national pride, some people start to notice smoke
coming up from the floor at the generals' feet. He does not notice and continues
on. As he speaks the smoke gets thicker. People all across the room
start to notice and begin pointing and murmuring, but the general is oblivious. Rowntree and
the Headmaster start talking about it and people are starting to panic. The
general continues as everyone else sees the smoke, but they are afraid to interrupt
him. Sons are starting to help escort their parents out the door as many start
coughing. The general continues speaking as almost everyone is now heading for
the doors. When the general is almost engulfed in smoke he finally notices it.
He tells them not to panic, but is soon drowned out.
There is chaos as everyone is struggling and pushing their
way out. The first group finally makes it into the courtyard as the smoke pours
out overhead. They gasp for air when there is a sudden explosion. A flash of flame and smoke
appear as a mortar blows up on the lawn. Many fall down dead
and others run for cover - which there is little of. We see Mick and the Girl
on the roof holding machine guns and ammunition spraying the crowd. Johnny is down
the other end firing his own gun and Wallace and Phillips are manning the mortar shells.
Mick, the Girl and Johnny continue firing as more people come pouring out of the
smoke filled hall. Wallace and Phillips fire more mortar rounds. Masters and
boys are crouching and running, the Headmaster is seen running near a wall as
bullets narrowly miss him.
General Denson finally emerges and seeks cover behind the
only available place - his staff car. He begins firing his sidearm and sends
some boys through a nearby window to get guns out of the armory. MPs are
crouched behind their motorcycles firing. Bullets tear into the ground as women
fall and scream. More men are now taking up position with their guns. The
Headmaster heads out into the open and calls for a cease fire and the people
near him stop shooting. He calls up to Mick and the others to put their guns
down and that he understands them and wants them to trust him. Mick stands there
saying nothing, but the Girl draws her pistol and fires once hitting the
Headmaster right between the eyes.
The headmaster then disappears, is it all a dream? Then the battle starts again with mortar shells
exploding and guns
pouring out a window to all the nearby boys and parents for them to fight
back. Mick slides down the roof and fires relentlessly into the crowd. We see the
Bishop caught in a hail of bullets and mortar explosions then a close-up of Mick
with his back against the roof still firing as the screen turns black and the title "if...."
comes up. The End.
This film is a masterpiece. Thank you, good
night. That would be an easy enough review. Like ACO, it is nearly
impossible to find any flaws with the film. If anything, I would have liked more
scenes with Malcolm, but this would've totally changed the style of the
film.
The film is more a collection of short stories instead of a
film where you just follow a main character, or characters, with a straight
narrative. It seems the film takes place over the course of a semester, but
there is no indication of time between scenes. It is like Lindsay just put
cameras around a real school and taped what happened during the year and edited
together the good parts. It is a unique film in this sense.
It starts out by showing what it is like for Jute, a new
scum, arriving in school. It would be easy to think he was the main character,
after all he is in most every scene in the beginning. In fact, when Mick enters,
we don't even know he does, or who he is at all! Since he is practically covered
from head to toe and says nothing we don't think much of him, it is a very
clever changing of the guard. The first time we see his face he has a mustache
and before we can get used to that, he shaves it right off. Once again changing
our perception completely.
I really like how the characters are introduced and then
usually fade into the background. Stephans is shown a few times in the first
part as a big ass kisser, then almost never again. Brunning who is Jute's mentor
has no lines after showing Jute the ropes. It really gives a good picture of
life all across the school for those of us who never attended a school like
that. I always wondered how Jute did on his test of the school words though. One
of those completely meaningless indoctrinations you have to go through that
stays with you for the rest of your life.
Through the few scenes of Mick, Johnny and Wallace in the
beginning we get glimpses of how much they hate the system, but do their best to
get by. They are pushed and punished too harshly for them to stand by and take
it. This leads to one of the best and most famous scenes in the film. When
Johnny, Wallace and Mick are getting caned in the gym, each takes their turn and
it is one shot - from one angle. This is stunning in it's simplicity. I've
always hated the modern Mtv style where the camera cuts to a new angle every
second. The violence in the gym isn't shown, but by hearing it, the tension
mounts and makes it more powerful. The angle only changes when Mick throws open
the double doors for his turn with the birth of Malcolm's classic wicked grin.
That single shot speaks volumes and is one of the best in the film. He is
telling them to "Bring it on!". They want him to be scared, but he
won't give them that pleasure. They can beat him, but will never break him
because he knows his spirit is more alive than theirs.
The Headmaster had it all wrong when he told them it was too
easy to rebel. It is too easy to blend into the background and attract no
attention. When you are yourself and that is much different then the standard
they want to set for you - then you are an outcast. It is much harder when you
stand out and don't fit in - the fact that you are just trying to be yourself
and not even actively rebelling is even worse. You'll always be looked down on
and make enemies. Never speak out and give them what they want and you'll do
well - even if you feel empty inside because of it. Since it is a military prep
school, they are preparing for war. But I think the pictures of war in Mick's
room were an inspiration and a way to pump himself up for his own war.
The Girl is the enigma here - who is she? Hell, she doesn't
even have a name! When Mick spots her in the telescope she is in a nearby house
- a school? And how did they sneak her into their project under the stage? And
why is she so angry? She doesn't have to put up with the crap going on at
College House, after all - she is the one who kills the headmaster. I think the
girl is less of a character then more of the embodiment of women's liberation of
the time. She is openly sexual and can hold her own with the boys when it comes
to violence. When Mick hands her the human fetus in the jar he says nothing. I
interpreted this as him saying "Let's get married and have a child of our
own." By her putting it back on the shelf, she is telling him - no, that is
the old way.
The only true critique of the film I have is how the violence
at the end is toned way down. The Crusaders on the roof have the students and
the parents pinned in the courtyard. There is only one way out and they have it
blocked. With all the gunfire and shells they pour into the yard, the blood
should've been flowing in gallons. There would be no survivors since it was a
choice of being burned up or escaping into the yard. I love how the last shot
doesn't wimp out though. It shows a close-up of Mick still determined, even
though he is now facing opposition. He doesn't die, doesn't waver, doesn't fall,
doesn't give-up and never surrenders. The title comes up "if...."
saying be careful how you treat people because this could happen to you.
The acting here is all top notch. Everyone plays their roles
like they were born to play them. This is especially noteworthy since so many of
them were so young. Malcolm had an advantage of being 24 years old at the time,
though he certainly doesn't look it. Eventually this would hurt his career
because soon after he was a 30 year old man playing the parts of teens! When he
finally grew into his body he wasn't the young rebel anymore that the studious
wanted. Of course he was brilliant here and has the rare honor of being able to
become a star in his first role which could be the greatest debut in the history
of cinema. Even Harrison Ford's first roll was completely forgettable with only
three lines. Robert Swann was a perfect bastard and started him on a career of
authority type roles. Hugh Thomas who also appears in O Lucky Man! was a
great self righteous prick. Christine Noonan was perfectly sexy as the Girl and
it was a loss that she didn't pursue acting after OLM!
Though I didn't grow up in England, I relate to this
film in a very big way. Of course everything about the film is British and this
is what interests me most in having a site like mine. It doesn't matter - it's
themes have a universal appeal. I acted very much the same way Mick did in school. I
went to an all boys school and didn't fit in. I rebelled and got into fights
with the authorities. Once I got in trouble for "ruining" the senior
photo and the vice-principal punched me. I was always in and out of trouble
during high school like Mick was. Also like Mick I was a smart student who knew
more then many of the students who played by the rules. Even Denson, who is
supposed to be so smart, during a class asks Mick what a mollusk is. Just like
Mick, I was doomed to never fit in and was just biding my time until I could
escape.
Rating: 10/10
Here's my take on the meaning of the scene between Mick and the Girl at the Packhorse cafe.
If tigers don't mate, they'll die. It is necessary for young adults to stake out an area of their own before they can start to breed. The ritual consists of a series of challenges; after each challenge one tiger has the opportunity to back away. Copulation may take place before sexual maturity, though pregnancy is extremely unlikely. She will signal her readiness for breeding in various ways, including roaring & moaning. Approaching males sometimes reply. The female will continue her efforts until a male is attracted.
Background: The scene came out of Christine and Malcolm's audition. The photos of the big cats in Mick's room came in later by chance after coming across the photos when they were making the collages.
1973 - Malcolm,
Ben Aris, Geoffrey Chater, Graham Crowden, Peter Jeffrey, Arthur Lowe, Mary Macleod,
Anthony Nicholls, Christine Noonan, Brian Pettifer, Hugh Thomas + Mona Washourne
were in O Lucky Man!
1976 - Malcolm and David Wood were in Aces High.
1982 - Malcolm, Robin Askwith, Graham Crowden, Ellis Dale, Peter Jeffrey, Arthur Lowe, Mary Macleod
+ Brian Pettifer were in Britannia Hospital.
1985 - Malcolm and Brian Pettifer were in Gulag.
2003 - Malcolm and Peter Sproule were in I'll Sleep When
I'm Dead.
1963 - Lindsay and Arthur Lowe worked on This Sporting
Life.
1967 - Lindsay and Arthur Lowe worked on The
White Bus.
From the official script book: According to Lindsay Anderson there are many versions of the movie floating around the world, most cut according to the dictates of that particular country's film censor boards. In the entire US, only NY had the uncut version at the time of its release while the rest of the country had the cut version. Lindsay mentioned that some scenes were done with different camera angles. Most film censor boards were offended by the showing of some of the boys' genitals in the shower scene and Mrs. Kemp's pubic hair as she wandered through the halls naked later on in the movie. Some versions have different camera angles and some have those scenes cut, either completely or severely pared down. The version of "if...." that is available in the US is 111 minutes. This is exactly the length quoted in the book. So it would be safe to say that the US version contains the "different angle" shots which were probably shown outside the NY area.
During the shower scene there was full frontal nudity of some of the boys.
During Mick's sex scene with the Girl there was full frontal nudity as well.
If you are like me and live in the US then there are certain things about if...., like the school, that don't make complete sense. I asked Paul Sutton for help in explaining life in the British school system and more.
Q: if.... takes at place what kind of school?
A: It is a public school called Cheltenham College. A public school in England is a private school. It is called public because it is owned by 'the public' and not by the government. The state has no say whatsoever about what goes on in public schools (though the European parliament ordered the banning of canning in something like 1995). Lesser public schools, which are privately owned, are usually called 'Independent Schools'. Cheltenham is a major public school.
Peter adds:
Strictly speaking all independent schools (i.e. not state owned) are 'public'
and many people use the terms independent and public synonymously, although the
use of the term independent is increasingly popular as a less ambiguous
term.
Q: When they talk about "The House" in the film what does that mean?
A: Most public schools are boarding schools. Some are day students only, some are mixes of the two. The school is usually divided into five or six 'houses'. These are often named after famous past pupils, the present housemaster, or other things. Mick's house in if.... is simply called "College House". There are five other houses, but we don't see them in the film (except for at the rugby match). The boys sleep and eat 'in house', and the houses compete against each other in sport, behavior, discipline, etc. Good work usually gets you "House Points" and there are prizes for the best house. Ordinary lessons are grouped by ability and not by house. Thus boys from all the houses are mixed together.
Q: What are the age groups of the students when they talk about juniors and seniors?
A: You enter public school at 13 and you leave at 18, but this can be raised to as high as 20 in rare cases. Before going to public school you go to 'prep school' which are independent boarding schools from ages 7-13. Juniors are boys up to and including the fifth form (16 years). At the end of the form they take national exams. The seniors are the boys in their final two years. (at the end of which they do Advanced level exams). Many of the public schools in England are now co-educational, and many of the privileges and punishments have been done away with.
Q: Is it a high school or is that a term for military prep?
A: No. High schools are 'state' or government schools and are almost always co-educational (boys and girls).
Q: Are Rowntree and the whips the same age as Mick, Wallace + Johnny?
A: They are meant to be the same age as Mick, but he could be a year older.
Q: What does it mean to be a whip?
A: They are a group of final year boys (never more than about 14 in the whole school) who have been elected to the post. In some schools they are elected by the pupils and in others by the housemaster. They have special privileges often including the right to wear different uniforms (hence the colored waistcoats).
Q: The headmaster is the principal of the school?
A: Yes, he's the boss. In one or two famous schools he is actually called the Head Man.
Q: What is Confirmation Class?
A: In the Christian church (Catholic and Anglican - Anglican is the Church of England ) you have to take a confirmation class before you drink wine and eat the bread at communion. It usually takes about three months, usually after the age of 13 and only on an explicit request from the communicant (or person) themselves, IE your mother can't book you into a confirmation class, and you can't be compelled to attend them, you have to choose to attend yourself.
Q: What is Mr. Kemp's role?
A: He's the head of College House. When boys apply to go to public school they are usually obliged to sit in an entrance exam (the standard one is called The Common Entrance Exam) and they are interviewed both by the Headmaster and the Housemaster.
Q: What is John Thomas, the new teacher's role?
A: His official title, which varies from school to school is under-master, which means that he has been employed by the house master. The staff at English boarding schools also live at the school with only a few exceptions. New teachers, because they are young and usually healthy are asked to take junior games (although schools now employ a specialist sports staff). But it is still a requirement at most boarding schools for new teachers to be qualified to teach sports.
This obscure 1933 film by Jean Vigo was inspiration for if..., but
that doesn't mean if.... is a remake.
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