~ "Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep."
~ "When there's a will, I want to be in it!"
~ "I took an IQ test and the reults were negative."
~ "I brake for no apparent reason."
~ "Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes."
~ "Be nice to your kids, they'll choose your nursing home."
~ "Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
~ "I'm not as think as you drunk I am."
~ "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice Doggie!'....til you can find a stick."
~ "If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."
~ "Psychiatrists say that one out of four people are mentally ill, check three of your friends, if they're okay...."
~ "If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!"
~ "Your just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!"
~ "You are depriving some poor village of it's IDIOT!"
~ "My hockey Mom can beat up your soccer Mom."
~ "All men are animals, some just make better pets."